Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[crazy8s]

22 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

 None of the other married girls appear to smother their spouses the way she does.

None of the other married girls have had a spouse that actually worked a real job. Ben - nope. Joy can tag along with Austin as much as she wants and has been shown on house flip jobs with him with kids along. Jer, who knows if he ever really leaves the house for anything other than a selfie/photo op.

same can be said for the DILs - Duggar males follow the JB model except for making their own way they mostly work for Pops. Joe has maybe 4 current real estate listings that give virtual tours. JD who knows. Jed maybe sells cars in an office across the driveway from his and Katie's home. Josiah goes nowhere that we've seen. Justin works for claire's daddy and she is her daddy's secretary/office help. Anna has the TTH in the backyard, so she was not sitting alone in the warehouse with a bunch of kids.

Jill was the first one to marry and believed mom and pops way was the way to do things - Pop was always home and it was drilled into Jill's brain to be alone would leave you open to temptation. without an accountability partner you were doomed.

Edited June 25, 2021 by crazy8s

[Westiepeach]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I get the impression Derick enjoys and encourages Jill's clinginess. In an ego sort of way.

Yeah, wait until the bar exam happens… and he is unprepared.

[Lady Whistleup]

We don;t know how Joy and Jessa are with their husbands 24/7 but only Jill seems to actually get anxiety from not being around Derick for ... a few hours. That sort of thing is understandable to newlyweds and maybe even the first few years of marriage. But it tends to fade after awhile as kids, hobbies, jobs, etc. occupy more time. Jill is still stuck on that mode 7 years into their marriage. 

I also wonder if subconsciously Jill doesn't like to see Derick studying and working because it reminds her of all the things she wasn't raised to do as a kid. 

[Suzn]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I get the impression Derick enjoys and encourages Jill's clinginess. In an ego sort of way.

Sadly, I think you're right. However, I bet there are times he'd like to escape.

Edited June 25, 2021 by Suzn

[Lady Whistleup]

1 hour ago, Suzn said:

Sadly, I think you're right. However, I bet there are times he'd like to escape.

Also behaviors that seem cute and charming when newlyweds lose their charm QUICKLY if 10 years into the marriage a wife is still that clingy. Derick and Jill have been married for 7 years, and what might have seemed cute back then probably isn't cute today. 

Another thing is that behaviors when done by a female if done by a male can often be coercive and abusive. If Jill was studying for the bar exam and being interrupted constantly by her husband for massages and cuddles and date nights we might see that as a red flag. Not saying Jill is deliberately trying to be abusive, just that this behavior really isn't cute at all.

[BigBingerBro]

I agree with others that have commented that the video is a bunch of BS they did just for clicks.  I have a feeling (and hope) that Deertick locks himself in his "office" to study most of the time.

I do not doubt that Jill is still naturally clingy, but in that video, I'll bet that she's just acting for the camera.  She grew up doing that.  She wants to show herself as an attentive wife always as his beck and call, always doing things together.  I am sure he allowed it for the video, but I seriously doubt it's actually what happens in reality.

[Suzn]

3 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

I agree with others that have commented that the video is a bunch of BS they did just for clicks.  I have a feeling (and hope) that Deertick locks himself in his "office" to study most of the time.

I do not doubt that Jill is still naturally clingy, but in that video, I'll bet that she's just acting for the camera.  She grew up doing that.  She wants to show herself as an attentive wife always as his beck and call, always doing things together.  I am sure he allowed it for the video, but I seriously doubt it's actually what happens in reality.

You're right that we don't know how much that is like they really are minus a camera, but I have little doubt that Jill is as clueless and clingy as she seemed.

Was anyone else afraid that the day would close out with a reference to "lotion time"?

[Kiss my mutt]

So, basically I saw about an hour of study time per day with all the interruptions. Good luck with the bar exam!

Hubs and I spend a lot of time together but I could not stand to have someone touching me all the time like that. Messing with my head and having to be right on top of me like she’s doing. He really needs to go somewhere else to study. 
He does seems to really love his dog though so that’s always nice to see. 

[Temperance]

Jill was 23 when she got married. I think part of it is she's not good at being alone.  And we give Jessa, Joy, etc. more credit for being less clingy, but they're never alone. The kids are always there. 

I expect Jill will have another baby when Sam goes to school, but maybe she will find something. 

[GeeGolly]

I think Jill struggles to figure out how they come off on SM. She used to add drama into her posts in the past, mostly by emphasizing typical parenting struggles. When she figured out she looked like a stressed out parent who never enjoyed her kids, she started posting sweet posts.

Jill doesn't have the benefit of creating her influencer self, because she's been on TV her whole life and she has the Duggar baggage. Granted, Jill would never have the followers she has if she wasn't a Duggar, but the name and history shade many of her posts too.

Jill has a lot of posts with just her and the kids, without Derick, but they're just not as noticeable. I do think Jill is a little clingy, but not to the degree it was years ago.

But I don't think any of the Duggar kidults' lives will ever seem totally normal to us, or not to me anyway. Because I know too much.

Edited June 27, 2021 by GeeGolly

[floridamom]

I think when Derick is employed as a lawyer, he and Jill will have another baby..you know, steady employment, medical insurance, etc. Jill has had 2 difficult deliveries; no time to roll the dice with an unqualified midwife-home birth.

I agree that Derick doesn't show much study effort at least in that video. When my husband was studying for the Bar exam, his employer gave him paid time off from work to focus exclusively on that..and boy did he! His whole life was on 'hold' including Valentines Day and my birthday. He was focused on nothing else but study..and yes, he did pass the Bar. He said it was the most grueling experience of his life..this was 40 years ago and he still has his law license. BTW, we were not married yet; just dating. He explained that I need to understand that his devotion right then was to his passing the test. I wholeheartedly agreed. I dropped off a homemade cooked dinner for him from time to time and left immediately. I wish Derick good luck with his studies. I hope he's taking this seriously and that Jill understands what this is all about and leaves him alone.

[Quof]

I've passed 2 bar exams in Canada, not nearly as difficult as you are making it sound in the US.

[irisheyes]

Was the video showing him studying for finals or for the bar?  Because if it was for finals, he obviously studied enough to pass.  From Jill’s SM posts, it seems like she’s not near as clingy as she was, but who knows what happens in real life?  

[Rabbittron]

4 hours ago, Quof said:

I've passed 2 bar exams in Canada, not nearly as difficult as you are making it sound in the US.

I have a friend who took the bar in Canada and in the US and he said that the Canadian bar was like going back to kindergarten and the US bar was like going for your PHD.

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

I have a friend who took the bar in Canada and in the US and he said that the Canadian bar was like going back to kindergarten and the US bar was like going for your PHD.

How does one do that? I imagine many Canadian laws and penalties are very different than the US. 

[Rabbittron]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

How does one do that? I imagine many Canadian laws and penalties are very different than the US. 

Yes they are.  He met his wife who is a friend of mine in whistler Canada skiing and long story short moved to the US and studied for a year and took the bar in Colorado. 

[Quof]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I imagine many Canadian laws and penalties are very different than the US

The entire Canadian legal system is different than the American.  Being its own sovereign nation and all....

[GeeGolly]

8 hours ago, Quof said:

The entire Canadian legal system is different than the American.  Being its own sovereign nation and all....

Yes, but their legal systems are similar in many ways because they're both based on British common law. But I would guess the differences are vast.

[emmawoodhouse]

Jill took the boys to the library. Israel got his first library card. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQrzy5Hgd0M/?utm_medium=copy_link

[libgirl2]

8 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Jill took the boys to the library. Israel got his first library card. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQrzy5Hgd0M/?utm_medium=copy_link

That makes me so incredibly happy to see. I am glad they are putting a value on reading something besides the Bible. Those smiles! 

Meanwhile, Spurgeon is playing with an ant and Ivy is in the refrigerator. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by libgirl2

[BitterApple]

Aw, that brings back so many memories. I remember getting my own card and feeling super grown-up. I'm really happy for Izzy. I notice he has The Boxcar Children in his stack. I absolutely adored that series as a kid.

Edited June 29, 2021 by BitterApple

[BigBingerBro]

Every time I read a "win" for the Dillard kids, I feel so bad for the Seewald kids

[libgirl2]

9 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Aw, that brings back so many memories. I remember getting my own card and feeling super grown-up. I'm really happy for Izzy. I notice he has The Boxcar Children in his stack. I absolutely adored that series as a kid.

When I got my driver's license, the first place I drove to alone was the library. And I have been working at one for 27 years. 

[Zella]

I am happy that the stack seems like a pretty normal mainstream stack of kids' books. I'd wondered about what they were allowed to read after spotting some Ken Ham books in the house.

I couldn't see all the library books, but Eric Carle, the Boxcar Children, and Curious George look like something I check out to kids all the time at the library where I work. 

16 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Aw, that brings back so many memories. I remember getting my own card and feeling super grown-up. I'm really happy for Izzy. I notice he has The Boxcar Children in his stack. I absolutely adored that series as a kid.

Me too! I am pretty sure my love for mysteries is partially rooted in all the Boxcar Children books I read in elementary school. 😄

[dargosmydaddy]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Israel got his first library card. 

It's actually Sam who got the card. She says Israel already had one.

[emmawoodhouse]

7 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

It's actually Sam who got the card. She says Israel already had one.

I saw Israel signing his, so I assumed it was him. My bad.

[dargosmydaddy]

1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I saw Israel signing his, so I assumed it was him. My bad.

Sam's the one signing it-- I know, he looks suddenly huge! 

[emmawoodhouse]

I obviously need to use a larger device to look at Instagram. 😁

[anna0852]

If Sam is writing his name then someone at home must be working with him on both reading and writing skills.

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Aw, that brings back so many memories. I remember getting my own card and feeling super grown-up. I'm really happy for Izzy. I notice he has The Boxcar Children in his stack. I absolutely adored that series as a kid.

 

7 hours ago, Zella said:

I am happy that the stack seems like a pretty normal mainstream stack of kids' books. I'd wondered about what they were allowed to read after spotting some Ken Ham books in the house.

I couldn't see all the library books, but Eric Carle, the Boxcar Children, and Curious George look like something I check out to kids all the time at the library where I work. 

Me too! I am pretty sure my love for mysteries is partially rooted in all the Boxcar Children books I read in elementary school. 😄

I loved the Boxcar Children books. I hope Israel and Sam do too. My nephew loved Curious George when he was their age.

[GeeGolly]

8 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Aw, that brings back so many memories. I remember getting my own card and feeling super grown-up. I'm really happy for Izzy. I notice he has The Boxcar Children in his stack. I absolutely adored that series as a kid.

I remember it too! Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys were my first introduction to mysteries. I love the smell of libraries and have so many fond memories of riding my bike there.

[BigBingerBro]

[ginger90]

[hathorlive]

On 6/25/2021 at 12:42 PM, Jeeves said:

This is just to emphasize - as others have said - that we don't know how much time Derick is spending (and has spent) studying for the bar exam, nor how much coaching he's had on how and what to emphasize during this study/preparation for the exam. He could be studying a lot or a little, in a poorly focused way or a well-planned way. 

If I recall, most people here didn't think Derrick would make it past the first year of law school, let alone all three.  He managed to do that and he'll manage to pass the bar.  We know nothing about his ability to memorize tons of details or how he absorbs nutshells and all that.  He could have a fabulous memory.  Time will tell.  

Edited June 29, 2021 by hathorlive

[irisheyes]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Sam is 3 1/2?  That’s not bad for his age. 
Jill should offer to take Spurg and Henry to the library with Iz and Sam. It’s obvious Jessa never will. 

[Zella]

Jessa doesn't strike me as someone who thinks libraries are wonderful, so I doubt she would accept the offer even if made.

The same fundie coworker I had who wanted us to use Scamiritan once had sort of a meltdown on me about libraries after she found out that I had a history of working for our public library. (And that is where I fled back to after I left that hellhole. LOL) In any event, she was really horrified with the idea that her children could go in the library and *gasp*  find books that disagreed with her very narrow view of the world. And instead of just, you know, monitoring what her children checked out or lightening up and realizing broadening her very ignorant children's horizons was a good thing, her solution to this problem was just to never take them to the library. I think that attitude about libraries is way more common in fundieland. 

[Ohiopirate02]

7 minutes ago, Zella said:

Jessa doesn't strike me as someone who thinks libraries are wonderful, so I doubt she would accept the offer even if made.

The same fundie coworker I had who wanted us to use Scamiritan once had sort of a meltdown on me about libraries after she found out that I had a history of working for our public library. (And that is where I fled back to after I left that hellhole. LOL) In any event, she was really horrified with the idea that her children could go in the library and *gasp*  find books that disagreed with her very narrow view of the world. And instead of just, you know, monitoring what her children checked out or lightening up and realizing broadening her very ignorant children's horizons was a good thing, her solution to this problem was just to never take them to the library. I think that attitude about libraries is way more common in fundieland. 

I would rather fundies not use my library than for them to expect my collection conform to their narrow world view.  No one has the time to field their constant objections to queer media, erotic literature, actual science, etc.  

[Zella]

6 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would rather fundies not use my library than for them to expect my collection conform to their narrow world view.  No one has the time to field their constant objections to queer media, erotic literature, actual science, etc.  

We've occasionally dealt with complaints from fundies who use our library, but it's not really been a pervasive problem. I think they realize in the middle of the complaints that the staff is not sympathetic. We document it, but nothing has ever come off the shelves for them, and that seems to discourage follow-up complaints from the same parties. 

To bring this back on topic, I don't see Jessa being the type to file a complaint. She has big "small fish in a big pond" energy that I think dissuades her from actually being assertive outside of her family circle. 

[leighdear]

2 hours ago, hathorlive said:

If I recall, most people here didn't think Derrick would make it past the first year of law school, let alone all three.  He managed to do that and he'll manage to pass the bar.  We know nothing about his ability to memorize tons of details or how he absorbs nutshells and all that.  He could have a fabulous memory.  Time will tell.  

Not true.  I wrote this back in March and still think it's true.....

On 3/18/2021 at 4:30 PM, leighdear said:

I think most of us were fairly sure he would make it through school and with decent grades, though we never heard any crowing about him making the Dean's List or any other superlatives.   We did talk about it quite a bit when he began.  He finished his undergrad degree and his fake-minister classes, so he can achieve things. 

However, he tends to flame out spectacularly at follow up and abandons life goals seemingly on a whim. 

And frankly, a well trained mechanic or plumber can make more in a year than a brand-new lawyer.  Saying he's better educated than the others is true, but he won't necessarily out-earn all of the other Duggars with their minimal schooling.  He'll need quite a few years of high-level legal work to make big bucks. 

[Lady Whistleup]

I don't think Jessa would ever have the urge to take her kids to a library. She might not even have anything that against library books. But getting out of that filthy house is simply too much work for her and Jessa doesn't like making more work for herself than necessary.

[BradandJanet]

6 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I don't think Jessa would ever have the urge to take her kids to a library. She might not even have anything that against library books. But getting out of that filthy house is simply too much work for her and Jessa doesn't like making more work for herself than necessary.

I see having baby after baby as making work for oneself, but I'm sure Jessa and I don't think alike on much of anything. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by BradandJanet

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would rather fundies not use my library than for them to expect my collection conform to their narrow world view.  No one has the time to field their constant objections to queer media, erotic literature, actual science, etc.  

We have some fundies who come to the one I work at but we rarely have a lot of challenges. I think it is because we try to present all sides at our library. Our personal opinions do not play a part in it. We need to have balance. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by libgirl2

[Zella]

36 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

We have some fundies who come to the one I work at but we rarely have a lot of challenges. I think it is because we try to present all sides at our library. Our personal opinions do not play a part in it. We need to have balance. 

Yeah my boss is a tactful soul, and she's gotten a lot of mileage out of politely pointing out that we are for everyone in the community, so we have Christian fiction and nonfiction if that's what they want to read and they are well within their rights to only read that if they find other material in the library offensive and to stop reading material if it covers territory they don't like. We're also more than happy to do readers' advisory services for them that take into account what they don't like to find other books they might enjoy reading that don't include profanity, violence, explicit sex, etc.  

But we're not in the business of preventing other people from reading that same material these people find offensive. I think a lot of it is rooted in a misunderstanding of what libraries do, so a lot of them do seem to backpedal pretty fast when they realize that we're not sympathetic to the argument that they dislike something so everyone else should too. 

Incidentally most of the complaints I've fielded tended toward material people thought was overly explicit. My favorite was the lady who was offended there was sex in the romance novel she'd checked out. One of my coworkers said, and I quote, "Ma'am, there's a half-naked man on the cover. What were you expecting to be in there?" I started laughing so hard that I had to flee the circ desk. 😂 

I also had someone else who was outraged at the unrated horror movie she'd checked out. She told me it was filth. So, I introduced her to the ratings on the back and this 50-something women's mind was completely blown that movies warn you ahead of time of what's in them. Anyway, she didn't file a complaint but she became obsessed with picking up DVDs and reading the ratings, and I considered that a victory. LOL

But I think any nuanced discussion about censorship and the library's role in the community is going to be lost on most fundies, hence why a lot of them just don't visit. That being said, I am pleased that Jill's kids are getting to read normal children's literature. I assume she's going to the Rogers library, but she's also close enough to the Fayetteville and Bentonville libraries to get a card from them and use them too. The Fayetteville library is super nice. I love the small public library where I work, but I get jealous every time I've been in the Fayetteville library. 

Edited June 29, 2021 by Zella

[irisheyes]

Jill had to have done some research on some of these books. I don’t see The Boxcar Children or Curious George being part of SOTDRT curriculum. Or maybe Israel pointed out some of the books he read in kindergarten. (Another reason public school is sooo important for Duggar grandkids).

[Zella]

3 minutes ago, irisheyes said:

Jill had to have done some research on some of these books. I don’t see The Boxcar Children or Curious George being part of SOTDRT curriculum. Or maybe Israel pointed out some of the books he read in kindergarten. (Another reason public school is sooo important for Duggar grandkids).

Maybe she just lets them pull them off the shelf. I can see the picture books like Curious George or Eric Carle being something he read at school, but Boxcar Children chapter books seems advanced for kindergarten. I was an early reader who was reading before I went to school. But I don't remember encountering Boxcar Children books in a school library until about 2nd/3rd grade. This was back in the 90s. 

[laurakaye]

Library books?  Library cards??  The Boxcar Children???

To quote Jill Dillard: "YAYYYYY!!!!" 

I wonder if Spurgeon can even sign his own name yet.  And Bin should snap out of his coma and take his kids to the library if Jessa can't be bothered.

 

2 minutes ago, Zella said:

Maybe she just lets them pull them off the shelf. I can see the picture books like Curious George or Eric Carle being something he read at school, but Boxcar Children chapter books seems advanced for kindergarten. I was an early reader who was reading before I went to school. But I don't remember encountering Boxcar Children books in a school library until about 2nd/3rd grade. This was back in the 90s. 

If Izzy is reading The Boxcar Children before first grade, then holy cow, I am so proud of him.  If Jill is reading it to them, then I am proud of her as well.

[Ohiopirate02]

The first Boxcar Children book has an AR score of 3.9.  Pretty advanced for Izzy.  

[Heathen]

3 hours ago, irisheyes said:

Sam is 3 1/2?  That’s not bad for his age. 
Jill should offer to take Spurg and Henry to the library with Iz and Sam. It’s obvious Jessa never will. 

He's four next month. It's still very good for his age and far beyond what I'd expect of a Duggar grandkid. 

I give Jill bonus points for having the kids wear masks. I was at the library yesterday (my power was out for a few hours) and last Friday (usual weekly trip), and I saw NO kids wearing masks. They are not old enough to be vaccinated. My county is still a hotspot. So is Arkansas. 

[Heathen]

14 minutes ago, Zella said:

Maybe she just lets them pull them off the shelf. I can see the picture books like Curious George or Eric Carle being something he read at school, but Boxcar Children chapter books seems advanced for kindergarten. I was an early reader who was reading before I went to school. But I don't remember encountering Boxcar Children books in a school library until about 2nd/3rd grade. This was back in the 90s. 

I remember Boxcar Children in kindergarten. Even if Jill just lets the boys choose books based on the cover, it's still major progress for a Duggar! Duggars in a library when they're not being paid for it! Duggar grandkids who are already learning about the joys of reading and libraries! **swoons** 

 

[Cinnabon]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

Jessa doesn't strike me as someone who thinks libraries are wonderful, so I doubt she would accept the offer even if made.

The same fundie coworker I had who wanted us to use Scamiritan once had sort of a meltdown on me about libraries after she found out that I had a history of working for our public library. (And that is where I fled back to after I left that hellhole. LOL) In any event, she was really horrified with the idea that her children could go in the library and *gasp*  find books that disagreed with her very narrow view of the world. And instead of just, you know, monitoring what her children checked out or lightening up and realizing broadening her very ignorant children's horizons was a good thing, her solution to this problem was just to never take them to the library. I think that attitude about libraries is way more common in fundieland. 

But I bet she was all about our “freedoms!” 😆