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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Danger Will Robinson, danger.

"... it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year."

That statement sounds more like a free year of day care rather than the start of Izzy's first year of school.

I'll believe it's real 19 months from now on Izzy's first day of first grade.

Didn't Derick say something like "I'll be going to this school for the next ten years" to register my kids. For Jill, this may be dipping her toes in, but I think Derick expects that this is year one of many for Izzy and Sam.

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I hope Jill does volunteer or get involved with PTA. Sam will be 3 come next school year, and so chances are she'll still homeschool him but who knows. 

She will have reached ultimate normalcy if she can snark and complain about Common Core, IMHO.

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Danger Will Robinson, danger.

"... it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year."

That statement sounds more like a free year of day care rather than the start of Izzy's first year of school.

I'll believe it's real 19 months from now on Izzy's first day of first grade.

 Jill and Derreck never look so happy as when they don’t have their kids around them. I think she’ll get hooked on the happiness and be all to ready for Sam to get out of the house too. I mean it’s sad that she cannot relate to her kids and seems to resent them, but at least they can get out of the house, getting education, and get affection from someone out in the world. I mean imagine having Jill and Derreck being her only intellectual and emotional references.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Derreck was behind this push, as Jill highlighted he went to this school system.  He will have a son that his pistol Pete if it’s the last thing he does. That said I hope that a therapist also suggested school and whoever came about I’m glad Jill is following someone’s suggestion. 

I am really, really glad that Jill is going to be exposed the idea of actually having a daily schedule, having responsibilities, having to live up to the valuation of other people, actually learning real facts, and just being part of something bigger than yourself and your own narcissistic family.  In an ideal situation, she’ll have a few million revelations about her own crappy childhood, and hopefully grow from them. I still think she’s a few years off from being able to hold down a job, but I think the day will come, especially if, as we are suspect, there might not be any more kids, at least for a while.

I’m also glad the boys will have access to a school psychologist, nurse, speech pathologist, tutoring, afterschool activities, and the like. Also curious if the boys got vaccinated or not. I’m sure that school system will allow religious waiver.

 

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She will have reached ultimate normalcy if she can snark and complain about Common Core, IMHO.

Seeing as she has no education of her own, she has no basis to criticize common core. I’ve never seen people look at me stranger than when I mentioned I taught myself common core way of doing math and liked it! Just because it wasn’t the way I was raised or the way I typically think doesn’t mean it’s wrong or not effective.  Hopefully Jill will be able to pull off a similar attitude in the future. 

Edited by JoanArc
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4 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

Didn't Derick say something like "I'll be going to this school for the next ten years" to register my kids. For Jill, this may be dipping her toes in, but I think Derick expects that this is year one of many for Izzy and Sam.

Yeah, part of me wonders if Derick got Jill past any reservations by framing public school as a non-permanent concept. I think he's hoping a happier Izzy plus less-stressed Jill eventually leads to "this year" becoming "every year."

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If Jill wNted to go to nursing school she would first have to take courses in remedial EVERYTHING. 
I sincerely hope that all of Jim Bob and Michelle’s children send their kids to actual, real schools. Home schooling works fine if you have an educated person who is familiar with pedagogy teaching the kids. If you have a high school graduate more concerned with popping out babies than learning how to instruct children, it’s probably not a good idea... 

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8 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Yeah, part of me wonders if Derick got Jill past any reservations by framing public school as a non-permanent concept. I think he's hoping a happier Izzy plus less-stressed Jill eventually leads to "this year" becoming "every year."

In the past, Derick has seemed too thin-skinned to admit to mistakes, and I think Jill was too emotionally fragile to do so. I think this gives them an out in their minds if it doesn't work. 

That being said, I hope the experience goes well for all of them and cements a decision for Izzy to attend school outside the home beyond kindergarten. 

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I really have to wonder if Ma and Pa even give a rusty double damn anymore. The kids have fulfilled their purpose, which was to make them wealthy and fawned upon, and now that they’re out of the house? Who cares?

Other than the occasional photo op, I don’t think most of their kids even cross their shallow little minds on a daily basis.

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33 minutes ago, EVS said:

Anyway, my point is that I think a lot more ugliness has gone on behind the scenes than we realize between JB and Jill and Derick and I suspect there will be more after this decision to send Izzy to preschool. With Fundie men, it is all about ego and control. I wouldn’t be surprised if JB has the older Duggar kids put pressure on J and D as well. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up at their house and tried to intimidate them into getting back in line with the program. I think he did this in the past and, when it didn’t work, put the restrictions on Jill visiting her siblings. It’s like the Scientology disconnection policy for anyone who leaves the cult. Right now, J and D haven’t completely left so Jill is still allowed controlled access, but that could change if she moves further away from both the cult and JB’s rules. I also wonder if some of Derick’s recent SM revelations came after harassment by JB when Derick was angry and frustrated. 
 

I was thinking about this last night & wondered if Derick hadn't already warned Jilly to not take phone calls from her family right now, but to let him deal with them.  The shit is going to hit the fan with JB over this.  I hope Derick realizes it & is taking steps to protect Jill from the backlash.

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14 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I really have to wonder if Ma and Pa even give a rusty double damn anymore. The kids have fulfilled their purpose, which was to make them wealthy and fawned upon, and now that they’re out of the house? Who cares?

Other than the occasional photo op, I don’t think most of their kids even cross their shallow little minds on a daily basis.

This is my guess, too. I don't think they give a flying crap....especially if it's not something that might ding the TeeVee income. 

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I think they care in that it is a direct rejection of everything they've stood for. It's all about ego with Jim Bob,  and I think having one of the biggest Kool Aid drinkers in the family spit the Kool Aid back in his face wouldn't be well received.

That being said, I'm sure he's just adding this to the list of things he uses as proof that Jill and Derick are to be avoided and distanced from the family. So, I don't think it grieves him like it would a normal parent. But I'm sure he is pissed and taking steps to prevent anyone who is still on the show from doing anything else that smacks this much of giving him the middle finger.

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2 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

This is my guess, too. I don't think they give a flying crap....especially if it's not something that might ding the TeeVee income. 

agree - there will be no heart to heart on Counting On with Jill and MOTY where JIll is all teary about Jesus telling her it was ok to send Izzy to school.

so nope they won't care a bit

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15 hours ago, Zella said:

I think it's more significant as a statement on how much she is breaking away from her parents' beliefs and the way she was raised than anything because what she is doing is normal to most people, but she was basically raised to think of public schools as evil. 

I also don't think Jill is emotionally capable of effectively homeschooling her children, regardless of the grade level, and the fact she may have had the ability to recognize this in herself surprises me (in a good way). Even if Jill could handle the academic demands of teaching a kindergartner, I don't think she has the patience to do a good job of it, and she and Derick do seem to have some weird resentment toward Izzy at times. Homeschooling at any age can be incredibly frustrating, and I think there was legitimate concern that would not be handled well since she already seems so overwhelmed. 

As for the other grandkids, I don't know that their parents have manifested some of the same disturbing tendencies that Jill has of seeming to resent her children at times. I really don't have a problem with people homeschooling their kids if they know what they are doing (I was homeschooled myself from 5th grade up), but I have seen it done very badly, and I really think that the issues she has with her children would dramatically increase if she was homeschooling them. So, to me, this was a very wise move. 

I see where you're coming from. Israel will still have to deal with his mom plenty even with going to school. 

However I still think the other Duggar grands are in way more trouble. I have several friends who were homeschooled and agree homeschooling can be great if you know what you're doing.  The Duggars however do not seem to know what their doing. They relied on those damn Wisdumb books and the awkward skewered curriculum.  We're still not sure how many of them have GEDs or some other official high school alternative. The boys allowed married girls who were also homeschooled by fundies. Abbie and Lauren at least were able to move on to some advanced schooling and Abbie is LPN.

Both Kendra and Anna have seemed overwhelmed by their kids so far. Kendra seemed overwhelmed by taking care of the one baby, but maybe she'll be better able to cope with babies after having a bunch of her own. On the other hand, by time Garrett, is 5, she'll probably have at least 2 more kids (Garrett will be 2 in June; he's 1 now). And Anna's kids get the same kind of homeschooling as their aunts and uncles.

Edited by Temperance
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1 hour ago, cmr2014 said:

Didn't Derick say something like "I'll be going to this school for the next ten years" to register my kids. For Jill, this may be dipping her toes in, but I think Derick expects that this is year one of many for Izzy and Sam.

So he's planning eight more kids? Maybe he meant first days? If the school has grades above kindergarten you only need to register a kid once and they just move up to the next grade each year. What grade does that school go up to? It looked fairly big.

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Since he's going to public school, this would also mean that he's going to be vaccinated or has already gotten his vaccines??. Not sure how it is in Arkansas, but for here, kids are required to have all their immunization shots up to date before starting school. 

Regardless, I'm happy for Izzy!! Wonder if they will put Sam in Pre-K once he gets old enough?

 

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3 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I see where you're coming from. Israel will still have to deal with his mom plenty even with going to school. 

However I still think the other Duggar grands are in way more trouble. I have several friends who were homeschooled and agree homeschooling can be great if you know what you're doing.  The Duggars however do not seem to know what their doing. They relied on those damn Wisdumb books and the awkward skewered curriculum.  We're still not sure how many of them have GEDs or some other official high school alternative. The boys allowed married girls who were also homeschooled by fundies. Abbie and Lauren at least were able to move on to some advanced schooling and Abbie is LPN.

Both Kendra and Anna have seemed overwhelmed by their kids so far. Kendra seemed overwhelmed by taking care of the one baby, but maybe she'll be better able to cope with babies after having a bunch of her own. On the other hand, by time Garrett, is 5, she'll probably have at least 2 more kids (Garrett will be 2 in June; he's 1 now). And Anna's kids get the same kind of homeschooling as their aunts and uncles.

 

Yes, I agree none of them are well-prepared for homeschooling. Unfortunately, I think as long as they are on the show, they'll still peddle the party line, except for maybe Jinger and Jeremy going with a private school. That I could see.

It's not that I don't think the other kids need an intervention too. It's just I don't think one is very realistically in their future. Even though Jill has had her little moments lately, I'm still quite frankly floored that she did this.

1 minute ago, ForeverPluto said:

Since he's going to public school, this would also mean that he's going to be vaccinated or has already gotten his vaccines??. Not sure how it is in Arkansas, but for here, kids are required to have all their immunization shots up to date before starting school. 

Regardless, I'm happy for Izzy!! Wonder if they will put Sam in Pre-K once he gets old enough?

 

Arkansas allows for exemptions, and the NWA area has been battling some outbreaks of diseases in schools because of it, including mumps and whooping cough in recent years. Not the same I know, but the U of A itself had a bad mumps outbreak last year! 

Edited by Zella
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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Danger Will Robinson, danger.

"... it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year."

That statement sounds more like a free year of day care rather than the start of Izzy's first year of school.

I'll believe it's real 19 months from now on Izzy's first day of first grade.

Yeah it raised some red flags with me too! Maybe they'll decide public school has too many non-Christians in it! Maybe they'll object to what's being taught. Maybe Jill will get too lonely like she was before Israel was born.

I think my biggest issue is that it seems like this may all be for attention. People will write articles and they'll get hits on social media and youtube. They'll get articles on on-line tabloids. People will talk and that's what they want.

Jill and Derick have slowly moved away from the cult. They're not IBLP/IFB anymore; they're SBC. Jill can wear pants and get her hair cut. The boys can socialize with non-family. There's one more thing that non-Duggar thing I'd wish they'd do and that is to stop trying to be famous and become more private. But that ain't gonna happen!

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1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

just the "back to school" supply list for Izzy will be a shock for Jill.

back to school supply shopping is my favorite.. so many memories.. now I buy for other younger family members...

disclaimer : do not like shopping for clothes, shoes, etc. my offspring wore uniforms (charter public school)

Looks like I have missed a good discussion.. let me scroll back.. I was really just popping in to see if Derrick was still in law school..and was Jill ready to pop another...

Hot Damm.. Derrick ( and I guess Jill) bucked the system and will be sending their youngin' to public school.. well at least to register for public school. 

I do wonder though how will Jill handle being around those parents who are not christian, or as not as Christian as she is/was/brought up to be. 🍿

And looks like they live in a typical new subdivision.. not the Mc-mansion that JB started them out in - what did JB do evict them when derrick enrolled in law school? 

Edited by sATL
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44 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So he's planning eight more kids? Maybe he meant first days? If the school has grades above kindergarten you only need to register a kid once and they just move up to the next grade each year. What grade does that school go up to? It looked fairly big.

It kind of came off to me like he was just talking vaguely about  the pleasure of seeing Izzy off to school each year at the school Der seems perhaps to remember rather fondly. Like he was just excited about him going to school. "First days" as you say. 

Derick was the one who early on talked about following in his father's footsteps as the university mascot and waxed a bit daydreamy about his own child maybe doing that some day. Unlike others in this school-hating gang, I don't think I've ever heard of Der blaming school for exposing him to Satan and sending him down a quick path to hell or anything, the way Jer does, for example. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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This is definitely Derrick's doing, the last FU to the Duggars. Too bad their kids will be the new black sheep like Famy. They won't be allowed to hang out with their cousins without close supervision. 

I hope Sierra gets a damn clue and puts her kids in school. 

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4 minutes ago, Crisinbama said:

https://www.schooldigger.com/go/AR/schools/1197001588/school.aspx

this school is the number one ranked school in the state. 

well the hits just keep on coming... their house must have come at a dear penny... if the elementary is #1 in the state, the feeder MS and HS are probably also ranked pretty high..

did take a peek at the diversity figure, for Jill's sake..

Edited by sATL
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21 minutes ago, sATL said:

well the hits just keep on coming... their house must have come at a dear penny... if the elementary is #1 in the state, the feeder MS and HS are probably also ranked pretty high..

did take a peek at the diversity figure, for Jill's sake..

I never sent kids to those schools--in fact, don't have kids unless my Chihuahua counts! 😆 --but the NWA metro school districts tend to be some of the better ones in the state. I live in a rural county over an hour away, and I know more than one family that maintains 2 residences, one here and one there, just so they can send their kids to those schools. I also know more than one person who has a life plan that involves relocating to the Rogers area when they have kids or the kids come of school age. 

One of the reasons Rogers and its environs are considered so desirable is the schools. Bentonville also has very good schools--Wal-Mart pours shitloads of money into the schools there. Fayetteville schools are also considered nice in general, but I don't really hear people talking about moving there quite like they do Rogers, unless they're U of A students themselves. 

That being said, I don't know that the Rogers high schools are necessarily as top-ranked as some of the others in the area. 

Edited by Zella
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16 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

So he's planning eight more kids? Maybe he meant first days? If the school has grades above kindergarten you only need to register a kid once and they just move up to the next grade each year. What grade does that school go up to? It looked fairly big.

In Illinois, you register your children every year.  Which basically mean that after the first year, you take your child to school during the allotted time,  pay your book fees and get a school supply list.  They see their friends. 

Edited by mythoughtis
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I actually don't think Jill is a bad mom..she reminds me of a lot of twenty something moms with trips to the library,  being a stroller mom, being overwhelmed,  etc.

I think she got a crash course look at reality that the picture she was given of motherhood by her mom isn't what she expected..so she's floundered.  She always was the shy Duggar daughter..believing in all that she was taught and always feeling anxious about pleasing others.  Plus, her two boys seem happy...imho.  I bet once he's in kindergarten, we will get an announcement of baby #3.  A friend of mine lamented about her child starting kindergarten,  than bam..she got pregnant 

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Just now, mythoughtis said:

In Illinois, you register your children every year.  Which basically means, you take your child to school during the allotted time,  pay your book fees and get a school supply list after the first year. They see their friends. 

Wow, what a pain in the ass. In my area you register kids once if you stay in the same district.

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5 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

I’m truly not aure she should have posted the school info, but yay!!! (™️ Jill) for Izzy. I hope he loves it and makes friends, and I hope Jill takes steps to socialize herself: maybe join a mom group or something or take classes..

 

It wouldn’t have mattered if  she hadn’t posted it... there are lots of people who would work their little fingers to the bone finding out where it was.   It’s amazing what people seem to dig up such as addresses, etc.

 

Yay( truly) for Izzy, Jill and Derick.  Plus Sam will get one on one time with Jill.  

Edited by mythoughtis
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4 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

I sadly agree. Also, Jill was not raised to be curious about the world around her or see herself as someone with a future outside the cult. I teach community college and unfortunately see students like this. College involves a lot of grunt work, and people with clearly defined goals and a passion to achieve those goals, despite deficits and obstacles, are the ones who move ahead. Jill hasn't expressed any such interests. 

As for the online pushback--looking at you, mama.gabbs--if your belief is so fragile it can't withstand contact with people outside the group, your belief must be weak indeed. Also, you are making up the Obama as American Savior comment, and the Duggars did not do a good job of raising their children unless failing to protect the daughters from a brother who was molesting them and never dealing with their trauma is your idea of "good."

APPLAUSE!

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Izzy is going to  school  in the same district that Derick went to.  I wonder if Jill realized that she's not educated enough to teach her kids. Doubt it. I'm so glad that Izzy will have a normal upbringing in school. At least to start off. 

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2 hours ago, EVS said:

I’ve been thinking about something I learned from Scientology And The Aftermath and the book I Fired God. On SATAM, Mike Rinder said something like, “One of the signs of a cult is what happens when you leave.”  In I Fired God, Jocelyn Zichterman talks about how her father stalked and harassed her and her husband and also her sister who stepped out of line and eventually left the church.  He pulled in other prominent IFB leaders to help him. He was also incredibly abusive to his daughters growing up and even as adults. It’s been a while since I read the book but that is what I remember. 
 

Anyway, my point is that I think a lot more ugliness has gone on behind the scenes than we realize between JB and Jill and Derick and I suspect there will be more after this decision to send Izzy to preschool. With Fundie men, it is all about ego and control. I wouldn’t be surprised if JB has the older Duggar kids put pressure on J and D as well. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up at their house and tried to intimidate them into getting back in line with the program. I think he did this in the past and, when it didn’t work, put the restrictions on Jill visiting her siblings. It’s like the Scientology disconnection policy for anyone who leaves the cult. Right now, J and D haven’t completely left so Jill is still allowed controlled access, but that could change if she moves further away from both the cult and JB’s rules. I also wonder if some of Derick’s recent SM revelations came after harassment by JB when Derick was angry and frustrated. 
 

Sorry this is so long. This is all conjecture but it fits with what we know about fundamentalist fathers and about cults in general. Even though Jill said she thought it might be “fun” to try kindergarten for Izzy, I suspect that JB has made these recent decisions far from “fun” for Jill and Derick. I think Derick is strong enough to resist the pressure. I don’t think Jill could have done it on her own. 

I watch entirely too much bad tv so of course my mind went to the CA visit by Meechelle and JBoob.  Wonder if this was a shape up or ship out 'visit'.  As in you are not being properly fundy and have the gall to think on your own, git yer butt back to Arkansas under my rule before you go full heathen.

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5 minutes ago, Ljohnson1987 said:

Izzy is going to  school  in the same district that Derick went to.  I wonder if Jill realized that she's not educated enough to teach her kids. Doubt it. I'm so glad that Izzy will have a normal upbringing in school. At least to start off. 

I thought Ben, Anna, and Michelle were the "family" teachers... over at the big house... I am awaiting for the day for Spurgeon to join the class - isn't he close to 4 ?

Edited by sATL
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1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

agree - there will be no heart to heart on Counting On with Jill and MOTY where JIll is all teary about Jesus telling her it was ok to send Izzy to school.

so nope they won't care a bit

Perhaps I need to be committed for what I am about to say but I would totally watch the Dillards navigate life outside the JBoob umbrella.  A fundy version of Escaping Polygamy yet not AS creepy.  Trying to bring other fam into the fold.  I just don't want it shown in UP.  I don't get that channel.  TLC, do your thang!

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8 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

I watch entirely too much bad tv so of course my mind went to the CA visit by Meechelle and JBoob.  Wonder if this was a shape up or ship out 'visit'.  As in you are not being properly fundy and have the gall to think on your own, git yer butt back to Arkansas under my rule before you go full heathen.

For Jeremy and Jinger? I really don't think they're outside the pale as much as people like to think they are. I mean, Jeremy has an LLC registered to Jim Bob's address. I don't think he's exactly casting off the shackles. 

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Just now, Zella said:

For Jeremy and Jinger? I really don't think they're outside the pale as much as people like to think they are. I mean, Jeremy has an LLC registered to Jim Bob's address. I don't think he's exactly casting off the shackles. 

Nope.  I meant the Dillards.  By CA I meant Central American.  But I should have typed that out since the others are in California.

 

 

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1 minute ago, Natalie68 said:

Nope.  I meant the Dillards.  By CA I meant Central American.  But I should have typed that out since the others are in California.

 

 

Ah okay! Sorry! I wondered but then I was like, nah, that's not Danger America! Lolol in the immortal words of Gilda Radner, Nevermind! 😉

I'm not really clear on the timeline of the falling out. It's clearly been brewing awhile. 

Edited by Zella
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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

So he's planning eight more kids? Maybe he meant first days? If the school has grades above kindergarten you only need to register a kid once and they just move up to the next grade each year. What grade does that school go up to? It looked fairly big.

I think he meant that Izzy would be going there through sixth grade and then be followed by Sam so that -- all together -- he would be visiting that school for the next ten years.

Edited by cmr2014
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15 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think he meant that Izzy would be going there through sixth grade and then be followed by Sam so that -- all together -- he would be visiting that school for the next ten years.

well ...looking that the other side of the coin... is Derrick trying not to  announce that there will be no more little Dillards to fill up the school/every grade? 

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Just now, sATL said:

well ...looking that the other side of the coin... is Derrick trying not to  announce that there will be no more little Dillards to fill up the school/every grade? 

Let's hope not! Two is plenty.

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I can't wait to see which specialty of law derrick is going to practice... 

corporate, family, international, criminal, civil rights, immigration, personal injury...

I guess larger churches may have legal council on staff...

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I don't think Jilly is cut out for homeschooling, and Derick knows it. He's in law school -- he must interact almost every day with women who are intelligent and outspoken. He must realize that he has a wife who can form only the most basic sentences. I think in two years Sam will be enrolled in school too. 

I also hate to say this but I thank God that Jilly had sons. I think if they had daughters they might not be as proactive about their daughter's education.

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3 hours ago, Crisinbama said:

https://www.schooldigger.com/go/AR/schools/1197001588/school.aspx

this school is the number one ranked school in the state. 

It wouldn’t surprise me to learn this has been in the works for a while, and that’s why they chose to purchase a home in this area. I remember right after they bought their home some people were commenting that it was in kind of a weird location for them to pick. If they’d already decided on public school, they probably looked at school quality when choosing a community to move into.

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

He's going into public policy.

Well, he’s going to try. Those jobs aren’t as easy to get as people like Derick think. 

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