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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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8 hours ago, Gweilo said:

Jessa's going to have to go a step further and enrol her children in Montessori!

She and/or Bin might have to get another (?) job to pay for that, however.....I don't know that anything but the big evil public school is in their budget. 😈

Ball's in your court, Jessa. 

Seriously, though, on the Israel news -- Best Duggar News Ever! (only good Duggar news ever? could be...) Anyway, in your honor, Jill, Yay. 

i'm thrilled it's happening with Jill, who I've always seen as various kinds of klutzy, who was too successfully brainwashed but who's always actually seemed  to me pretty sincere about wanting to live a good life, learn some things and find out more about the world and the people in it....I'm hoping it spreads among the fmaily. But Derick is the only spouse who wasn't homeschooled. So despite his various problems, he's contributed hugely here, I'd say.

It seems there should be hope for Jer and Jingle on this front, given that they live among more mainstream people. But Jer consistently badmouths the year or two of school he did attend as having sent him straight to Satan and all but ruined his life. ..... So he's going to have to ignore that particular aspect of his preachiness in order to make this kind of decision. 

One step at a time, though. It's so great that Jill took this step first. Very proud of her. And happy for Izzy and Sam. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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30 minutes ago, SMama said:

I think Derick went all angry white male on Boy Scouts allowing girls to join. 

 

27 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

yes, he did.

but if the school has a small pack and no girls maybe, just maybe it would be allowable

Derick was angry because the Scouts were allowing trans youth.

Anyway they may not be around long enough for Izzy and Sam because the BSA can't afford to pay all the sexual abuse settlements and have filed for bankruptcy.

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1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

I am thrilled with this news! I think it will be great for Izzy and for the whole family.

Probably Derick. If Izzy can have a public school education, he will benefit greatly from it. Not saying good homeschooling is bad, but Duggar homeschooling is not great.

Derick is the spouse who got a very clear picture of how lacking the Duggar "education" was -- and how none of the Duggars knows that -- when he found how many millions of miles Jill was from being able to qualify as a real SBC missionary.

Jill herself had some actual ambitions but was the only one of the kids to begin testing them out. So I expect that she, too, saw in the process that her family had just not been prepared for an expansive life in the real world. And wanted more for her kids. .... 

 

Edited by Churchhoney
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I’m so excited!!!! Now this will open the door for others (like JinJer) to send their kids to kindergarten! Plus it’s awesome that he will go to the same school as Derrick. I went to the same schools as my dad for every level except middle school, including college and grad school!!! It was cool having that extra connection with him. 

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My gosh! This is huge!!!!

I'll be honest, I've been struggling with the Fundie-lite Duggars for a while now. On the one hand, I'm glad to see Jill and Jinger wearing pants, cutting their hair and doing normal kid things with their littles, but on the other, I've been concerned about the way they seem to be slapping jeans on the same set of "values" about women and LGBTQA+ folks. In my live and let live moments, I've been really happy for Jill and Jinger because they seem to enjoy life a lot more than they did in the prairie frumpier days, but I wonder about the bigger impact. When you take politics out of it, Anna's life and especially the mid-2000s Duggars' lives aren't exactly a ringing endorsement for Gothardism and Quiverfull but Jinger and RFP do seem to be living a life that people of all stripes might find appealing (lots of eating out in LA and a nice house with no visible means of support) if they didn't find MacArthur's beliefs abhorrent. 

But now Izzy is going to public school! He's going to meet people with green hair! Some of them might have two mommies, or two daddies, or be atheists or muslim or catholic! So maybe, just maybe, although I doubt Derrick or Jill's core beliefs have changed, Izzy might have a chance to be his own little person! In the words of Jill, Yay! Are we excited?

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 Blog post:

 

Israel’s Kindergarten Registration

Feb 22, 2020 | Family Blog | 2 

This week we went and got Israel registered for kindergarten. It’s hard to believe he will be five this year! We have already been homeschooling him some, but decided it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year. It’s extra special because it’s the same school district Derick enrolled in over 25 years ago. 

How did you feel when your first went off to kindergarten? Drop us any tips in the comments section below!you 

E35D4105-7E49-4530-BCF3-23F47336045B.jpeg

(Not sure including the name of the school was wise.)

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39 minutes ago, SMama said:

JB’s pressure is based on his children’s financial dependence on him. The years of conditioning help as well. Derick does not depend on JB for his livelihood, and JB probably has hurt Jill to her core by denying her complete access to the TTH and her siblings. Derick is out of fucks to give and is very upset at JB. Add the headship is always right thing and I like Izzy’s odds to attend heathen public school.  

I wish I could like this a thousand times. As @Churchhoney has noted, Derick - who grew up mainstream and not in a fundie cult/family/church - quickly saw, I think to his huge disappointment (like, shattered dreams), the woeful inadequacy of Duggar homeschooling. Also, although I think he was vulnerable, in the throes of religious fervor, lonely - and horny - when he was first attracted to the Duggars and quickly married in? Without years of fundie indoctrination behind him and in his own awkward ways, Derick didn't toe the JB party line when sh*t started getting real after his marriage to Jill. He probably said a lot more in private than he eventually let slip in public. 

If Derick reveres his late father, he probably started giving JB the side-eye as he got to know JB better. JB's your basic arrogant fast-talking law-unto-himself wheeler and dealer, vs. Derick's dad who as a cop must have done well working in a structured organization, inside a chain of command, with set working hours and a job requiring him to deal with a wide variety of people, face to face, every day of the week. JB may have drawn Derick in with his Jesus talk but if JB thought he'd landed a compliant and malleable Jesus freak in Derick, he was mistaken. Heh.

1 minute ago, chilis said:

This is a huge paradigm shift for 2nd generation Duggars. . . .

I don't think this will change things for the more compound-centric Duggars, but I bet Lissy will end up in a school, because JinJer will see the praise that Jill gets and want it for themselves.  . . .

This is a big FU Pops and Lolli.  

Yep! If they can find the money, I think JinJer will put Lissy in a Christian school. I don't think it will be in reaction to the choices Derick and Jill make, though. I think that Jer probably doubts Jinger's ability to homeschool Lissy and their next kid(s) even if he'd never go public with that. And I think hell would freeze over before it would occur to Jer that HE could spend a few hours a day assisting his wife in homeschooling the kid(s).

I could be wrong but I don't think Jer and Derick are all that friendly. They may not have spent much time together and they just don't seem to have much in common when you get past a certain amount of Jesus talk. So I don't see Jer giving a rat's rear end, what Derick does about anything, much less letting it influence his own choices.

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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Oh, I forgot the most important thing....Jill had better not send Israel to kindergarten with that stupid plastic bib!

HA! I was going to ask if Jill was going to back that damn bib in his backpack every day? lol.

I'm surprised, but not shocked. I just had a feeling Derick was going to put his kids in public school since he went to them as well. We've seen a lot less homeschooling videos as of late. Plus with whatever is going on with JB and Michelle, he wasn't going to follow in their footsteps. He has had to seen Jill's education level and as someone said above, knows homeschooling would not be great with her.

I hope Izzy loves it and makes a ton of friends. It would be great to put Sam in a preschool, but since Izzy never was put in one, Sam probably won't either. This should be HUGE for Jill and maybe her stress levels will go down.

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14 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

"They decided it would be fun to let him go to Kindergarten this year" - Interesting way to put it.

In my head, I can hear the unwritten “yay” at the end of that sentence. 

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I think maybe both Jill and Derick found Jill was not good at or did not enjoy the home school stuff they tried with Izzy. Same may be true with Jinger when she tries with Felicity

After all Jill and Jinger were not the "teachers" at the SOTDRT.

they just had to get the buddies at the table or in front of a computer for MOTY, or Jessa or whoever.

very different when you have to pick the curriculum, order it, plan what to do each day, wrangle another child while working with an older child etc. All with no helpers there to cover house cleaning cooking and all.

Edited by crazy8s
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I've sensed from her posts that Jill finds being the only adult in the house with two small children overwhelming, despite her protests to the contrary. I think once she has some free time, she'll feel much better. It's interesting that Izzy will be in the same school Derek attended. That's a nice connection, and one that seals the deal.

Of course, Jill will have to find ways to fill her time. Being involved with the school and the other parents could work. Jill's never been alone in her life, so she needs a way to deal with that. 

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3 minutes ago, BradandJanet said:

I've sensed from her posts that Jill finds being the only adult in the house with two small children overwhelming, despite her protests to the contrary. I think once she has some free time, she'll feel much better. It's interesting that Izzy will be in the same school Derek attended. That's a nice connection, and one that seals the deal.

Of course, Jill will have to find ways to fill her time. Being involved with the school and the other parents could work. Jill's never been alone in her life, so she needs a way to deal with that. 

I vote for nursing school...she could go on to be a nurse midwife (fully trained and licensed!!) I do see her going on to do something once the little one is in school too...I would love to be a FLY on the wall at the big house...and it makes me curious who will be the next one to flee the coop??? I know there are unhappy gals in the photo's I see...Jenny??? wasn't she one of Jills buddy's?? 

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3 minutes ago, Dimi1 said:

I vote for nursing school...she could go on to be a nurse midwife (fully trained and licensed!!) I do see her going on to do something once the little one is in school too...I would love to be a FLY on the wall at the big house...and it makes me curious who will be the next one to flee the coop??? I know there are unhappy gals in the photo's I see...Jenny??? wasn't she one of Jills buddy's?? 

I’d LOVE to see her start with CNA! If she has her GED, I think that would be realistic. Plenty of people with a GED go on to get a CNA. If she has time to study (and we know she would be driven), maybe it could happen. Or at least when both boys are in school. She could use derick’s fancy office. 

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30 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

 Blog post:

 

Israel’s Kindergarten Registration

Feb 22, 2020 | Family Blog | 2 

This week we went and got Israel registered for kindergarten. It’s hard to believe he will be five this year! We have already been homeschooling him some, but decided it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year. It’s extra special because it’s the same school district Derick enrolled in over 25 years ago. 

How did you feel when your first went off to kindergarten? Drop us any tips in the comments section below!you 

E35D4105-7E49-4530-BCF3-23F47336045B.jpeg

(Not sure including the name of the school was wise.)

Jill's first sentence  shows the education she received at the SOTDRT.  I am very happy they chose public school for Israel. 

Just think how much smarter Izzy will be after one year in public school Kindergarten than his Duggar aunts & uncles are  with their home-foolin education. (Yes, I mean his aunts and uncles and not his cousins.) 

I hope JB is blowing a gasket.

 

 

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I very much doubt that Jill has the intellectual capacity for nursing school...it’s hard. And she was never taught any kind of study discipline or time management.

Her fuckwit parents quite effectively crippled her intellectually and kept her from ever developing the ability to live or even think independently. I believe it would be many bridges too far to have her get a real degree. 

But at least she’s giving her kids the chance to grow up to be functioning, thinking adults. So kudos, Jill. Yay!

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Aww the leghumpers are giving her grief. I'd love to slap mamagabbs:

mama.gabbs

This is very surprising. I would’ve thought you’d continue on homeschooling. Praying for God’s protection over your son. We did one year with my oldest in public school kindergarten. We pulled him out immediately at the end of the year and never looked back.

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mama.gabbs

At 5 years old my son came home speaking about the school teaching him that Obama was America Savior in addition to him picking up curse words. This solidified our decision to homeschool from then on. • Be very prayerful on this. Your family did so well in raising you and your siblings. Homeschooling played a big role in that as your parents were able to have the greatest influence and used that to train you up in the instruction of the Lord. ❤️

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mama.gabbs

@jamierosem actually it did happen. You weren’t there. I was. It’s not my job to put my kids in the world from a young age to prepare for it. It’s my job to prepare them by laying a foundation of Christ for them. It’s very difficult to do that when you send them to a place that often teaches contrary. My kids aren’t excessively sheltered however yes there are things I feel they don’t need to see or hear. May I suggest you look up Voddie Baucham and listen to a few of his messages where he talks about homeschooling, children of Caesar, and raising children with a Christian worldview. ❤️ It will help shed some light on why I feel the way I do and believe what I do. No hard feelings! God bless 😊

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mama.gabbs

@beastyboo the world may have different views, but I am raising my family in the biblical worldview. If they choose to abandon that one day, that’s their choice. But in my home this is what we will teach. I want my children to understand other worldviews as well, but first I must teach them biblical foundations. I don’t need a lot of money to homeschool. I just need to be committed to it. ❤️

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5 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

Aww the leghumpers are giving her grief. I'd love to slap mamagabbs:

mama.gabbs

This is very surprising. I would’ve thought you’d continue on homeschooling. Praying for God’s protection over your son. We did one year with my oldest in public school kindergarten. We pulled him out immediately at the end of the year and never looked back.

1h39 likesReply

mama.gabbs

At 5 years old my son came home speaking about the school teaching him that Obama was America Savior in addition to him picking up curse words. This solidified our decision to homeschool from then on. • Be very prayerful on this. Your family did so well in raising you and your siblings. Homeschooling played a big role in that as your parents were able to have the greatest influence and used that to train you up in the instruction of the Lord. ❤️

1h9 likesReply

mama.gabbs

@jamierosem actually it did happen. You weren’t there. I was. It’s not my job to put my kids in the world from a young age to prepare for it. It’s my job to prepare them by laying a foundation of Christ for them. It’s very difficult to do that when you send them to a place that often teaches contrary. My kids aren’t excessively sheltered however yes there are things I feel they don’t need to see or hear. May I suggest you look up Voddie Baucham and listen to a few of his messages where he talks about homeschooling, children of Caesar, and raising children with a Christian worldview. ❤️ It will help shed some light on why I feel the way I do and believe what I do. No hard feelings! God bless 😊

1h7 likesReply

mama.gabbs

@beastyboo the world may have different views, but I am raising my family in the biblical worldview. If they choose to abandon that one day, that’s their choice. But in my home this is what we will teach. I want my children to understand other worldviews as well, but first I must teach them biblical foundations. I don’t need a lot of money to homeschool. I just need to be committed to it. ❤️

56m2 likesReply

🤮

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43 minutes ago, Dimi1 said:

I vote for nursing school...she could go on to be a nurse midwife (fully trained and licensed!!) I do see her going on to do something once the little one is in school too...I would love to be a FLY on the wall at the big house...and it makes me curious who will be the next one to flee the coop??? I know there are unhappy gals in the photo's I see...Jenny??? wasn't she one of Jills buddy's?? 

Jill didn't fly the coop on her own. She married a guy who pulled her out of it. Actually, going into the marriage Jill was I think one of the most devout kool-aid drinkers, who talked about being a missionary and bringing Jesus to the world, along with babies. I'm not saying Derick's a saint but he seems to have been protective of Jill and supportive of her dealing with the emotional baggage of her upbringing. 

I don't think Jill will ever achieve the education levels that would allow her to even enroll in nursing school, and these baby steps of putting Izzy in kindergarten, as she lives a non-cult and more mainstream life, are huge and worth celebrating.

BTW, about the discussion of whether Jer is "fundie," etc. I have a large extended family who are Southern Baptists. They are not fundie, or cult members. They are - men AND women - college educated, and work/worked as teachers, bankers, farmers, business owners, and more. Well-dressed, kind, involved in their communities, just regular and good people to know. If you look at their political/social views you could lump them in with fundies. Except for cultish stuff like the Quiverfull thing, no women working outside the home, and the fugly dress code. (And that all of them, across the generations, are loving and supportive of a couple of gay family members although it's caused some static among their friends.) Heck, some of them are going on a trip to the Ark thingie in KY. (I silently cringed and didn't. say. a. word.)

What I'm trying to say is, that in the context of evangelical Christians, there may be degrees of "conservative," and "fundie," and whatever "Calvinist" means these days. But "not fundie" in this context can, and often does, encompass a very old-school and authoritarian set of social/political positions. So, yeah, Jer's not fundie. And he's more worldly and sophisticated than his young BILs in Arkansas. But they probably all vote the same ticket. Just saying. 

Edited by Jeeves
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Holy crap, when I checked my phone and saw this thread was "hot," I thought "Oh, great, another pregnancy announcement. I didn't see this coming in a million years.

I'm legitimately thrilled for Izzy. This is something he desperately needs, and judging by his excitement, I think he'll do well. We've seen bits and pieces of him socializing with non-Duggar kids, so hopefully he'll have a smooth transition.

I wonder what Jessa and Jinger will come up with to top this one?

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I really, honestly wonder what goes on in Jill's mind as she slowly breaks away from what she is accustomed to doing in the Duggar family. When you read Cynthia Jeub's blog it seems like it was such a big hardship to break away, and while I don't doubt that it is hard, I think this also speaks to that there is a great deal of variability in the experiences of former fundies. 

I think the only other ones who may not homeschool are Jinger and Jeremy with Felicity, although I don't think she'll go to public school. I agree with the others that she'll likely end up in a private Christian school. I think there's a difference between fundie versus super-rich conservative Christian, and I think Jeremy is striving to be the latter. That comes with a sense of importance and elitism which fits better with a private Christian school versus a homeschooling environment. Plus I think homeschooling would take away from Jinger's influencing.

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22 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

I really, honestly wonder what goes on in Jill's mind as she slowly breaks away from what she is accustomed to doing in the Duggar family. When you read Cynthia Jeub's blog it seems like it was such a big hardship to break away, and while I don't doubt that it is hard, I think this also speaks to that there is a great deal of variability in the experiences of former fundies. 

I think the only other ones who may not homeschool are Jinger and Jeremy with Felicity, although I don't think she'll go to public school. I agree with the others that she'll likely end up in a private Christian school. I think there's a difference between fundie versus super-rich conservative Christian, and I think Jeremy is striving to be the latter. That comes with a sense of importance and elitism which fits better with a private Christian school versus a homeschooling environment. Plus I think homeschooling would take away from Jinger's influencing.

Definitely lots of difference among the way individuals respond to these cult-compound-family situations as people turn to adults. Besides the differences between people who leave, we need only think of the light years of difference between those who leave or try to and those who stay locked in. Individual human difference plays a really big role in the outcomes. 

Cynthia was more alone than Jill is when she left/was ejected. I think that played some role in her more intense experience and definitely some role in Jill's apparently being able to navigate it at least a little better -- whatever his flaws, Derick is there with her and even for her, to some degree, as are her little boys....And Derick has also been able to bring her into the fold of his own not-so-nutso family and the considerably-less-nutso church he's attended all his life, and so on.

Plus, Cynthia is very intellectually bright, which in her case has also made her extremely introspective. And that's always a double-edged sword -- In the long run it's often helpful, but in the short run it can make a lot of problems and issues and feelings seem far more stark. And she was in the midst of trying college at the time her breakup-with-family happened....and, although she has strong intellectual ambitions and, it seems, the talent and brains to fulfill them, she was having a very bad time academically.......

Cynthia's academic problems throw into high relief the level of educational disaster that's befallen many of these wingnutty-Christian-homeschooled kids. Because the Jeubs pretty clearly got more and better home education than many many of the others. And even with that, someone as bright as Cynthia quickly found that she was way behind the curve academically in many ways. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

Danger Will Robinson, danger.

"... it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year."

That statement sounds more like a free year of day care rather than the start of Izzy's first year of school.

I'll believe it's real 19 months from now on Izzy's first day of first grade.

Yeah, I wonder about that, too. However, when you look at the very intense negative response that's flying from the "community" to which Jill has always belonged, I wonder whether they didn't put it this way partly in hopes of softening the impact of the news to head some of this off. That they privately intend to have the kids continue in school but to prevent people from actually hurling  bricks through their windows or urging JB and M to kidnap the boys and stick them in front of TTH computers, they chose to state it in this soft, no-big-deal kind of way, hoping that by the time first grade rolls around the outrage will have cooled a bit or moved on to other "Anti-Christian" apostates. 

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11 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Danger Will Robinson, danger.

"... it would be fun to let him go to kindergarten this year."

That statement sounds more like a free year of day care rather than the start of Izzy's first year of school.

I'll believe it's real 19 months from now on Izzy's first day of first grade.

Yeah, that made me worry too. Sounds like they might be just test driving public school without full commitment to leaving Izzy there for K-12. Hopefully, they stick with it. 

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2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Yep! If they can find the money, I think JinJer will put Lissy in a Christian school. I don't think it will be in reaction to the choices Derick and Jill make, though. I think that Jer probably doubts Jinger's ability to homeschool Lissy and their next kid(s) even if he'd never go public with that. And I think hell would freeze over before it would occur to Jer that HE could spend a few hours a day assisting his wife in homeschooling the kid(s).

I could be wrong but I don't think Jer and Derick are all that friendly. They may not have spent much time together and they just don't seem to have much in common when you get past a certain amount of Jesus talk. So I don't see Jer giving a rat's rear end, what Derick does about anything, much less letting it influence his own choices.

I don't think he cares at all what Derick thinks.  But I do think he cares a LOT what the world thinks.  Not because he would change his views based on public opinion, but because public approval helps him with his branding and because he loves being praised.

So, if Jill and Derick get a lot of press and praise out of this, he's going to want it for himself.  And because, when people try to get their sponsorship gigs pulled because of their views, he'll have something to point to that says "no, see, we're not like them."

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1 hour ago, BradandJanet said:

I sadly agree. Also, Jill was not raised to be curious about the world around her or see herself as someone with a future outside the cult. I teach community college and unfortunately see students like this. College involves a lot of grunt work, and people with clearly defined goals and a passion to achieve those goals, despite deficits and obstacles, are the ones who move ahead. Jill hasn't expressed any such interests. 

As for the online pushback--looking at you, mama.gabbs--if your belief is so fragile it can't withstand contact with people outside the group, your belief must be weak indeed. Also, you are making up the Obama as American Savior comment, and the Duggars did not do a good job of raising their children unless failing to protect the daughters from a brother who was molesting them and never dealing with their trauma is your idea of "good."

I wish Jill would meet a mom who decided to go back to school and get a "real" job  after her kids got into school.  I do think somewhere deep down Jill does want more education and I wish (after Derick graduates from law school) that she would further her education and become a nurse or a certified midwife - or if she is feeling called for another job, follow that dream.  Somehow when typing this I had an image of Jill getting a job and Derick continues to be a perpetual student. 

I'm not sure if Derick thought it was best for Izzy to go to kindergarten or if Jill brought it up first saying she didn't want to continue homeschooling.  I'm just happy Izzy will have a chance to make friends without Jill around.  Way back when (before kids had to go to kindergarten) my mom put me in kindergarten because I was an only child and this helped me to get used to other kids. Maybe this is Izzy's chance too.

When reading mama.gabbs' comments I wanted to ask do you agree with all the fundies/evangelicals that say Trump as sent by God. 

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1 minute ago, chilis said:

I don't think he cares at all what Derick thinks.  But I do think he cares a LOT what the world thinks.  Not because he would change his views based on public opinion, but because public approval helps him with his branding and because he loves being praised.

So, if Jill and Derick get a lot of press and praise out of this, he's going to want it for himself.  And because, when people try to get their sponsorship gigs pulled because of their views, he'll have something to point to that says "no, see, we're not like them."

Agreed. And I think he will want to further distinguish himself by one-upping Jill/Derick and putting Felicity in a private school. Doesn’t matter though, because Jill/Derick are the first to make the non-homeschooling decision. 

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23 minutes ago, Namaste said:

Agreed. And I think he will want to further distinguish himself by one-upping Jill/Derick and putting Felicity in a private school. Doesn’t matter though, because Jill/Derick are the first to make the non-homeschooling decision. 

Wonder whom he'll grift that private-school tuition from .... With this news, he's probably already drawing up a list....

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14 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Wonder whom he'll grift that private-school tuition from .... With this news, he's probably already drawing up a list....

He'll probably flirt some with his favorite geriatric hateful fundie fucks, maybe take some more shitty influencer pictures at a coffee bar with them. I don't know that the MacArthur crowd is quite as hung up on homeschooling as some of the others, so yep he's probably already plotting whose ass he can lick to get her into a pricey Christian preschool. Maybe she'll have better study habits than daddy. . . .

Edited by Zella
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