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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Some of the things many of us survived from childhood may include: riding without car seats, drinking out of the garden hose, no sunscreen while outside, chasing the mosquito truck down the street, eating Halloween candy without it being checked, walking to school alone, no helmets with bikes, skateboards or roller skates, spanking, mothers who smoked and drank while pregnant, playing with lawn darts, literally playing in the streets, hitchhiking, and eating gallons of high-fructose corn syrup.  Yep, most of us survived. 

So by all means, take the toddlers to a construction site & turn them loose.  

 

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While I don't homeschool, i am a mostly SAHM to a toddler ( 1.5 years) and yeah we barely have time for playdates during the week and if someone stopped at my house unexpectedly it would throw off my whole day. 

Jill's kids must be so BORED!! Even with my 1 year old we do so much, we take 4 classes a week ( all mom and me type stuff) I cant wait for her to be a little older because there are even more fun activities to do through the park districts and local gyms and what not.

I am really sick today and had to stay home all day with her and by the time my husband came home from work both my daughter and i were clawing the walls ready for him to take her somewhere lol. I couldn't imagine that being day in and day out, I'd lose my mind. 

 

 

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31 minutes ago, leighdear said:

Some of the things many of us survived from childhood may include: riding without car seats, drinking out of the garden hose, no sunscreen while outside, chasing the mosquito truck down the street, eating Halloween candy without it being checked, walking to school alone, no helmets with bikes, skateboards or roller skates, spanking, mothers who smoked and drank while pregnant, playing with lawn darts, literally playing in the streets, hitchhiking, and eating gallons of high-fructose corn syrup.  Yep, most of us survived. 

So by all means, take the toddlers to a construction site & turn them loose.  

 

Nothing wrong with walking home from school alone (well, with a friend) if it’s a short distance. I so loved that.

Edited by DangerousMinds
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17 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

While I don't homeschool, i am a mostly SAHM to a toddler ( 1.5 years) and yeah we barely have time for playdates during the week and if someone stopped at my house unexpectedly it would throw off my whole day. 

Jill's kids must be so BORED!! Even with my 1 year old we do so much, we take 4 classes a week ( all mom and me type stuff) I cant wait for her to be a little older because there are even more fun activities to do through the park districts and local gyms and what not.

I am really sick today and had to stay home all day with her and by the time my husband came home from work both my daughter and i were clawing the walls ready for him to take her somewhere lol. I couldn't imagine that being day in and day out, I'd lose my mind. 

 

 

I'm paying for lack of sunscreen now. I've had two basal cell skin cancers removed from my arm and shoulder. 😒

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No one drops by unexpectedly anymore. Plus I see Jill as a taker not a giver. Did she ever post I took coffee and snacks to my sweet friend? Nope so probably Jill expects others to do for her.  

 

I agree she must be so bored. Not to mention sad that she got banned from parents house.  At least all the kids would be playing together. 

Edited by galaxychaser
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I've only ever worn any helmet one time in my life, and that was to ride on the back of a motorcycle with my dad when I was 5 (not endorsing this practice).  Never worn knee pads or elbow pads.  I played on constructions sites, with my dad present and just with other kids.  I stood on inappropriate things, like big wheels, to get to high places and my mom told me off a couple of times and then just told me if i was going to ignore her I got what I deserved.  I wore a bib at Sam's age, but not Izzy's.  I guess I had shitty parents.

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I didn't see a pic of the boys turned loose at a construction site - I saw a pic where they were playing in dirt in front of a parked, non running bulldozer. maybe I missed some other pic. or Jill's caption said construction site. but the pic i saw was nothing even remotely dangerous.

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1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

I agree she must be so bored.

Ding Ding Ding - her entire existence screams that she's bored.  The solution is simple - enroll those boys into daycare/school and get herself back into the medical field in some capacity.  I know it goes against the grain of her upbringing, but I really wonder how much control Deertick has over her.  I think that along with boredom, she suffers from low-self esteem and social awkwardness.

I truly feel sorry for the boys, because Israel especially, seems stunted and starved for education as well as attention.  The occasional "naughty" incidents are very much "kids will be kids"  but it also shows that Jill just doesn't have a handle on being the super-mom her mother made every think she was.  I'm glad she hasn't popped out more kids as they are the real victims here.

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9 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Ding Ding Ding - her entire existence screams that she's bored.  The solution is simple - enroll those boys into daycare/school and get herself back into the medical field in some capacity.  I know it goes against the grain of her upbringing, but I really wonder how much control Deertick has over her.  I think that along with boredom, she suffers from low-self esteem and social awkwardness.

I truly feel sorry for the boys, because Israel especially, seems stunted and starved for education as well as attention.  The occasional "naughty" incidents are very much "kids will be kids"  but it also shows that Jill just doesn't have a handle on being the super-mom her mother made every think she was.  I'm glad she hasn't popped out more kids as they are the real victims here.

Yeah, before they got married Jill mentioned that she and Derek would not be using birth control. Clearly that decision has changed. They must realize that 2 is plenty for them.  

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10 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

In 2020, how many other moms in the neighborhood are available during the day to drop in for coffee? This was the norm for my mom in the early 70s but these days most moms are working.

Well, I wasn’t suggesting it would happen every day, but I know a lot of women who occasionally meet over coffee at someone’s house. Some are SAHMs who meet during the week and chat while their kids play, and some are working moms who get together on the weekend. My neighbor has an open-door coffee thing two Saturdays a month and a ton of us take our kids and go over there. It’s a fun, casual way to spend time with friends. Obviously not everyone will have time to do that, and that’s okay.

I do think Jill would like to have the kind of house where this happens. I think maybe people underestimate the fact that by becoming estranged from her family, she’s lost her entire community. She never had secular friends or even acquaintances. And I can’t imagine any of the fundies choosing pants-wearing, nose-pierced, birth-control-using Jill over the magical TV Duggars. So she has who, cousin Amy and Derick and the boys? That’s just a recipe for further isolation of a woman who was already isolated. I hope she does make some friends. She needs them badly.

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Well after watching the stories with Izzy and Sam and the piggy bank I think Jill can count another blessing: Israel seems to be a serious, sensitive child who is also a good big brother. Too bad Jill seems to fuss so much over Sam and ignore Izzy.

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We make assumptions about Jill's procreative choices, but maybe it's not that she's on BC or something, maybe she's just not getting pregnant.  Maybe, and don't stone me here, maybe God has decided not to give her more children right now.  Or ever.  I know usually people associate the "as many as the lord provides" to mean a million, but sometimes the lord just says "eh, you seem like you have enough".  And actual leaving it to god doesn't involve active tracking of ovulation and determination to make it happen.  Actually letting God decide means putting down the ovulation kits and actually letting him take the reins in the situation.  I know that's not IBPL or whatever approved, but my Southern Baptist preacher (I call him my pastor-in-law cause he's my husband's dad) seems to think this is a more accurate understanding of that phrasing.

 

Also, just because Jill makes herself "joyfully available" (one sec, gotta go vomit)... doesn't mean Derick is that into it.  He's a busy dude, maybe stressed from school and stuff.

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51 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

I do think Jill would like to have the kind of house where this happens. I think maybe people underestimate the fact that by becoming estranged from her family, she’s lost her entire community. She never had secular friends or even acquaintances. And I can’t imagine any of the fundies choosing pants-wearing, nose-pierced, birth-control-using Jill over the magical TV Duggars. So she has who, cousin Amy and Derick and the boys? That’s just a recipe for further isolation of a woman who was already isolated. I hope she does make some friends. She needs them badly.

I suspect she's having a real identity crisis. I think Jill really did drink the family Kool Aid pretty hard when she was younger and she was apparently one of Jim Bob's favorites. In the past few years, she's had multiple things implode on her, and I am sure it really rattled the way she views the world and herself since it cut right at the heart of what she was taught about being different from the rest of the world and somehow blessed and protected as a result. And that was even before she became estranged to whatever degree she is estranged from her family. I think Jill attached a lot of misplaced importance to her identity as a Duggar daughter, and now it's pretty clear that she's no longer considered one of them by her parents. (And her siblings seem to have followed suit for the most part.)

I think she's searching very hard for something to provide her with a new sense of identity that makes her feel good about herself, and that's what she seems to be trying to use the Enneagram stuff for. 

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As far as birth control is concerned, we can't rule it out. Derelict said in a reply to an IG post that he never said he was against it. He's the headship; whatever he says, goes. I don't see their marriage as egalitarian, despite Jill pulling away from her upbringing somewhat.

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6 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm paying for lack of sunscreen now. I've had two basal cell skin cancers removed from my arm and shoulder. 😒

I hear you!  I have had one basal cell removal, and every year when I go for my skin check they find and freeze off another pre-cancerous lesion (actinic keratosis) on my face. 

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1 hour ago, Snow Fairy said:

84358281_2565196893579104_30894922880914

I saw this picture and I can see Izzy and Sam in two boys

Me too. Izzy looks like the boy sitting on the step, who I think is Josiah. And Sam looks like the baby on the lap, who I think is Jason. Sam also looks like Jed or Jer, whichever twin is nearest to Jill is.

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14 hours ago, leighdear said:

Some of the things many of us survived from childhood may include: riding without car seats, drinking out of the garden hose, no sunscreen while outside, chasing the mosquito truck down the street, eating Halloween candy without it being checked, walking to school alone, no helmets with bikes, skateboards or roller skates, spanking, mothers who smoked and drank while pregnant, playing with lawn darts, literally playing in the streets, hitchhiking, and eating gallons of high-fructose corn syrup.  Yep, most of us survived. 

So by all means, take the toddlers to a construction site & turn them loose.  

 

I have fond memories of dancing in the mosquito truck’s haze.   Thanks for bringing that up.

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1 hour ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I have fond memories of dancing in the mosquito truck’s haze.   Thanks for bringing that up.

We survived playing in construction sites, no seat belts, no car seats.... playing in the street, playing in the mud after a rain (though my mom was against it).... so many things we did that kids just don't do anymore. Maybe we were lucky we did survive??!! 

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51 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Maybe we were lucky we did survive??!! 

I know right?  I was kept clear of construction sites, but I never had a helmet for bike riding.  I went head over heels numerous times and always had scraped knees and elbows.  At least Jill seems to be aware of the precautions to take at a minimal level.

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36 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Let us jot forget riding unrestrained in the back of pick ups at 40 +mph.  Something tells me the Duggars would still do something like that if they thought they could get away with it. 

And has someone to record it 

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55 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Well the PO box seems to be paying off.  The boys got $2 bills and Jill got jewelry.  I wonder how much hate/snark mail she's been getting mixed in with the freebee hoard??iwf7llqchbf41.jpg

Considering she called it “happy mail”, I’m thinking she has gotten some crap, too.

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13 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

As far as birth control is concerned, we can't rule it out. Derelict said in a reply to an IG post that he never said he was against it.

Derick was never in the Gothard cult and the SBC as far as I know has never been anti-birth control.  What's surprising with Derick is that they didn't use something from the beginning.  I guess he believed he'd married a real midwife who should have real knowledge.

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My cousin and I would put on jackets with hoods and flip down the ditch.  We also threw sticks and pine cones at my grandpa’s bull to make him chase us.  That shit was funny until ol’ Sonny (the huge black bull with red eyes) broke through the fence and chased us.  And that was the last time I remember messing with him.  Did I mention I was wild as hell?

I wouldn’t recommend half the shit I did as a kid, and I agree parents can be too careless, but also to over protective. The problem with Jill and Izzy at the construction site is I think if Izzy were to get hurt, she’d mock him for crying, post it all over Instagram and not seek medical treatment if necessary.  I trust everyone on this forum would know what to do if their child got hurt on the dirty, rusty equipment, but Jill would just have an orchestra pit moment.  That’s the thing that bothers me the most.  

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5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I have fond memories of being careless and carefree, but I also have memories of my friend losing the skin off his chin from using a broken pogo stick, another friend having to learn to walk again after being hit by a car, getting off a school bus. before the stop signs and lights were on them, my brother stepping on a rusty nail barefoot and needing a tetanus shot, a friend's mother losing an eyeball in a car accident before seat belts, my brother's friend ending up with a TBI after wiping out on his motorcycle riding in a neighboring state, with no helmet laws. And tragically two local(ish) kids recently drowned when they fell through ice.

On the flip side, I was never in a car accident when my children were little, so a car seat never saved their lives, but I never took a chance and let them ride in a car unsecured.

I think there's a balance between allowing freedom, independence and exploration, and wrapping kids in bubble wrap. As parents know, accidents happen, but why not keep the odds in the kids' favor by explaining and discouraging dangerous behaviors?

I hear ya. Growing up we used to jump off a low bridge into the river. It was all fun and games until a kid from our school jumped too close to the bank and fractured his neck, leaving him a paraplegic. I think it's possible to find that happy medium between allowing kids to be kids, and exercising appropriate caution, but the Duggars are flat-out irresponsible and negligent.

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Jingle really needs to set up a PO box. Look at how Jill is making out.

Jill, it's tacky to go over your lootbox with your followers. Talk to your therapist about getting a real job. Chick-Fil-A. 10-20 Hours a week. Boys in pre/school. Please. Do. It.

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5 hours ago, Absolom said:

Derick was never in the Gothard cult and the SBC as far as I know has never been anti-birth control.  What's surprising with Derick is that they didn't use something from the beginning.  I guess he believed he'd married a real midwife who should have real knowledge.

This is pure speculation, but I think that he was all for the Duggar lifestyle when he got married. He's the one who approached JB to be a prayer partner. I could see Derick somehow idolizing JB and the Duggar family at first. He's father was gone and he only had one sibling, But then reality hit. He found out what having kids was really like and that JB was taking money he thought he deserved.

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7 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

Yes.  If you visit Thomas Jefferson's Monticello,  if you pay for anything in cash, they try to make sure your change includes at least one 2 dollar bill.

In my city, word got around that the horse racetrack paid bets with $2 bills.

We don't bet on horse racing, but every now and then, I've been able to collect the rare bill.  

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I have never understood why the $2 bill was not more widely circulated.  In Canada the $2 bill (now coin), has always been available, and everyone uses them.  Saves you from having a stack of $1 bills in your wallet.

I did like how Israel asked if it was even real.  He is quite perceptive.

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12 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

This is pure speculation, but I think that he was all for the Duggar lifestyle when he got married. He's the one who approached JB to be a prayer partner. I could see Derick somehow idolizing JB and the Duggar family at first. He's father was gone and he only had one sibling, But then reality hit. He found out what having kids was really like and that JB was taking money he thought he deserved.

Cosign 100%.

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11 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

I have never understood why the $2 bill was not more widely circulated.  In Canada the $2 bill (now coin), has always been available, and everyone uses them.  Saves you from having a stack of $1 bills in your wallet.

I did like how Israel asked if it was even real.  He is quite perceptive.

I actually have a Canadian $2 bill, 40? years or so old, that supposedly shows the Queen's bra/slip strap.  It's pink in color.  

I hope Izzy's parents will allow him to reach his potential.  Law school student Dillweed should at least understand that his sons deserve a good education, beyond what Jill can teach them.  

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15 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I actually have a Canadian $2 bill, 40? years or so old, that supposedly shows the Queen's bra/slip strap.  It's pink in color.  

I hope Izzy's parents will allow him to reach his potential.  Law school student Dillweed should at least understand that his sons deserve a good education, beyond what Jill can teach them.  

I remember when there was a ton of speculation about that $2 bill.  I should see if I still have one floating around.  The two dollar coin (toonie) was introduced in 1996 and the bills disappeared shortly after.

I really hope Derick puts his foot down and enrolls the boys in a real school- even a private Christian school if they are so opposed to public schools.

Edited by 3 is enough
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