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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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2 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

The same SIL Jubilee that had the same “feet” as his wife? That one?

Yep, that one. IIRC, he posted a picture of an extremely tiny baby foot that he claimed was Jubilee's, but was later found to be a stock photo.

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6 hours ago, sixlets said:

If Derick wants this lawyer thing to work out, he needs to work on his wording.  "So they just inserted other sisters from the home" sounds like someone went to a nursing home full of retired nuns and just stuck a few here & there.  If he needs help with some bigger words, he can call RFP.  He seems to have all the words.

“Jinger, you’re next to Sister Mary Margaret. Watch out for her ruler, she’s got a wicked swing.”

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3 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

Yep, that one. IIRC, he posted a picture of an extremely tiny baby foot that he claimed was Jubilee's, but was later found to be a stock photo.

Please clarify where this was shown to be a stock photo. I would love to know if that was the truth. I think it is more likely that it was the real foot, a very necrotic, rotten, fetus. And definitely in bad taste to display in public.

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Neither Derick nor anyone else ever posted a foot picture.  Derick talked about them sight unseen:

Not sure what to make of the "must be a stock photo" comments.  Maybe somebody saw the above photograph somewhere with a photo credit.

 

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Derick’s last real job was as a Walmart accountant, and that ended back in June 2015. What have he and his family been living on for the last 4 and a 1/2 years? If TLC/JimBob weren’t paying him, who was? How did he buy a house? Has he been living off his mother’s tit the entire time? 

Edited by kokapetl
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45 minutes ago, kokapetl said:

Derick’s last real job was as a Walmart account, and that ended back in June 2015. What have he and his family been living on for the last 4 and a 1/2 years? If TLC/JimBob weren’t paying him, who was? How did he buy a house? Has he been living off his mother’s tit the entire time? 

Only if Cathy is a secret millionaire.  He and Jill have blown through at least half a million in that time. 

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2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Only if Cathy is a secret millionaire.  He and Jill have blown through at least half a million in that time. 

Agreed! I think Cathy probably does pretty well and likely has given them some help/buys stuff for the kids, but I doubt she is financially able to support two households for years. 

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2 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

I'm missing the point here.  Is pumping one's own gasoline worth documenting?  Damn, I've been doing it wrong, then.

Sadly I think it is because he is doing the "manly" thing and doing it for her.  Also sadly, I have several "woke" women friends whose husbands do the same thing.  Nice touch, but, post worthy? I don't think so.

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4 hours ago, Zella said:

I think Cathy probably does pretty well and likely has given them some help/buys stuff for the kids, but I doubt she is financially able to support two households for years. 

I agree and I feel the same way about the theory that Derick's father's death resulted in an enormous insurance payout. I'm sure there was some insurance, but not enough to support them all for years. 

Edited by Albanyguy
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1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Sadly I think it is because he is doing the "manly" thing and doing it for her.  Also sadly, I have several "woke" women friends whose husbands do the same thing.  Nice touch, but, post worthy? I don't think so.

I don’t get this. In a normal family, are you really in a car together that much? If you both work, you’re usually in your car alone, and apart most of the day. Maybe if you’re going out to eat and it happens to be low, or going somewhere on the weekend, it could work, but what happens if Jill is driving the boys to Chick-fil-A and sees that she’s almost out of gas? What would she do? Certainly she faced this crisis when she drove to derick’s work, alone, multiple times a day?

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40 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

I agree and I feel the same way about the theory that Derick's father's death resulted in an enormous insurance payout. I'm sure there was some insurance, but not enough to support them all for years. 

Yes, I also suspect whatever insurance resulting from Derick's dad was used up quite some time ago. 

Edited by Zella
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Regarding the gas post, to me more than anything, it's a low key way for Jill to reinforce she is still on Derick's side in the shit fight with her family because he's still #besthubbyever in her eyes.

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53 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

Heck, I would take someone topping off my tank.  I'm also auditioning people to put air in my tires and to wash my car.  In exchange, I have a great income, a awesome condo, and am double jointed.  It's nice that Jill has someone to do little things for her.  We all need a little kindness in our lives.

I would like to apply.  I have a great (read, my husband's) income, a mediocre townhouse, and I'm also double jointed.  I will eagerly await a favorable reply while munching on banana bread and coffee.

Sincerely,
Six
cc:  Jebus 

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Just now, sixlets said:

I would like to apply.  I have a great (read, my husband's) income, a mediocre townhouse, and I'm also double jointed.  I will eagerly await a favorable reply while munching on banana bread and coffee.

Sincerely,
Six
cc:  Jebus 

My mother keeps telling me to work harder on finding a husband who is contractually obligated to do that stuff and stop hiring people.  I usually date the ones who don't do anything and drain my will to live.  Surely there's a man out there for hire by the hour??

That said, Jill.  People in your life are supposed to be nice and do thoughtful things. I'm sure her brothers never did anything for anyone in their lives, which is why she thinks it's noteworthy.  

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5 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

 I'm sure her brothers never did anything for anyone in their lives, which is why she thinks it's noteworthy.  

Seeing as how they all seem to just sit like knots on a log while their sisters do the wimmin's work, I'd say this is probably very accurate. I think all the Duggar girls have pretty low standards for consideration and thoughtfulness based on how they were treated at home. 😞

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40 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I don’t get this. In a normal family, are you really in a car together that much? If you both work, you’re usually in your car alone, and apart most of the day. Maybe if you’re going out to eat and it happens to be low, or going somewhere on the weekend, it could work, but what happens if Jill is driving the boys to Chick-fil-A and sees that she’s almost out of gas? What would she do? Certainly she faced this crisis when she drove to derick’s work, alone, multiple times a day?

Now now @Christina87 - you are making way too much sense for them 😀

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I view it a different way. I think Jill is obviously struggling a lot with motherhood and adulting. Very often depression manifests itself in being unable to do very basic life maintenance stuff like, you know, keeping the gas tank full in your car. I think Derick might  be "showing" her these basic things like making sure the tank is full before you get in the car, and also making sure she's not getting in the car without any gas. His goal: getting her to remember to do these things on her own. Her goal: getting likes on Instagram over this post.

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I think Derrick puts gas in the car because as headship he controls the money, and because he also keeps track of how many miles Jill puts on the car.  He seems like a control freak to me. 

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52 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Well shit, my #besthubbyever is making dinner in the other room. Should I run and snap a pic?

Definitely, cause there are days id LOVE for someone to make dinner at my house. 
My #besthubbyever does do the dishes, so I shouldn’t complain. 

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Just now, Abmis said:

I think Derrick puts gas in the car because as headship he controls the money, and because he also keeps track of how many miles Jill puts on the car.  He seems like a control freak to me. 

This is what I was thinking, too.

The stuff we've been seeing lately about Jill separating from her family is stuff we applaud, but isolating a woman from her family is classic behavior of an abusive spouse.

Putting gas in the car for her might be just a nice thing he does for her, or it might be him monitoring the number of miles she drives and comparing that with her narrative of how she says she spends her days.

I hope it's all innocent, but it could be something more serious.

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10 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I imagine that Jill is overly transparent about how she spends her days. I seriously doubt Derelict is checking her odometer every Sunday when he gasses up her SUV. Now, how much agency Jill has in choosing her activities is anyone's best guess. But I have no doubt that Derelict gets a detailed run-down of each day at the dinner table.

I agree. I think it's far more likely that Derick has to encourage Jill to go out and do more on her own, and that Jill tells him - in excruciating detail - about every moment of her day.

Just because Jill is submissive and easy to control, though, doesn't mean that Derick isn't controlling.

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On 1/18/2020 at 4:10 PM, BigBingerBro said:

I'm not denying the fact that whatever they did at the library was something those boys needed, but it irritates that Jill equates going to the library with a "play" activity.  We've seen it before.  I doubt they are allowed to check out books.  I don't like to insert personal stories with my comments, but when I was their age, I learned that first and foremost, the library was a place for reading, to be quiet and respectful.  Sure times have changed and they were at a special program, it just irritates me personally.

Yeah, it's... not that anymore, in the overwhelming majority of public libraries.  (Source:  Master of Library Science degree granted 2016) . They call this, "Library 2.0", because nobody can be bothered to tell their kids that any public place should be quiet anymore; or that anyone should put down their cell phones.  The goal is then to get people "using" the library, which they weren't doing anymore when it was the stuffy source of "SHHHHHHHHH!"s and mean looks.  Nowadays, this method of getting butts in library seats is done with Story Time, DVD lending, 3D printers, Starbucks (!), my local library was advertising a teen Wii tournament a few years back, etc., etc.  As somebody who can't concentrate with extraneous noise anywhere, I pay an annual fee for membership to an academic library.

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1 hour ago, Zella said:

Regarding the gas post, to me more than anything, it's a low key way for Jill to reinforce she is still on Derick's side in the shit fight with her family because he's still #besthubbyever in her eyes.

She LITERALLY has no choice but to be "on his side".  She got sucked into the whole Covenant Marriage scam.  

No choice.  He's hers for LIFE.  Again, there is NO other option for her.  Making those statements meaningless.  

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3 minutes ago, leighdear said:

She LITERALLY has no choice but to be "on his side".  She got sucked into the whole Covenant Marriage scam.  

No choice.  He's hers for LIFE.  Again, there is NO other option for her.  Making those statements meaningless.  

Jill was one of the earliest marriages. Her younger siblings have married people slightly more mainstream than Derick. I’ve often wondered if she’d married after her siblings if she would have chosen someone more mainstream too and would she have agreed to the covenant marriage. 🤷‍♀️

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11 minutes ago, leighdear said:

She LITERALLY has no choice but to be "on his side".  She got sucked into the whole Covenant Marriage scam.  

No choice.  He's hers for LIFE.  Again, there is NO other option for her.  Making those statements meaningless.  

She could just not say anything. That's an option, so I think the fact she did say something does mean something. 🤷‍♀️

Edited by Zella
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9 minutes ago, Namaste said:

Jill was one of the earliest marriages. Her younger siblings have married people slightly more mainstream than Derick. I’ve often wondered if she’d married after her siblings if she would have chosen someone more mainstream too and would she have agreed to the covenant marriage. 🤷‍♀️

None of her younger siblings married someone more mainstream except maybe Jinger. The boys all married women who were just as fundie as they are. Lauren, Anna, Abbie all have IBLP connections.  Kendra is definitely fundie. Austin also has a strong background in IBLP. Ben was raised as part of the Vision Forum. Around the time Vision Forum collapsed, he and Jessa married. A couple of his sisters have made a break for it, but they were definitely fundie/fundie-lite. 

Jeremy and Derick were both raised more mainstream than any other in-laws. Also I believe the covenant marriage was the Duggars' idea not anyone else's. I don't know how it works if she changes states. I get the sense a good lawyer could break such an agreement if necessary. It wouldn't surprise me if the younger siblings had covenant marriages too, but didn't brag as much. Either that or since all the recent marriages have been within the cult, JB ain't worried about any of them leaving. 

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6 minutes ago, Temperance said:

None of her younger siblings married someone more mainstream except maybe Jinger. The boys all married women who were just as fundie as they are. Lauren, Anna, Abbie all have IBLP connections.  Kendra is definitely fundie. Austin also has a strong background in IBLP. Ben was raised as part of the Vision Forum. Around the time Vision Forum collapsed, he and Jessa married. A couple of his sisters have made a break for it, but they were definitely fundie/fundie-lite. 

Jeremy and Derick were both raised more mainstream than any other in-laws. Also I believe the covenant marriage was the Duggars' idea not anyone else's. I don't know how it works if she changes states. I get the sense a good lawyer could break such an agreement if necessary. It wouldn't surprise me if the younger siblings had covenant marriages too, but didn't brag as much. Either that or since all the recent marriages have been within the cult, JB ain't worried about any of them leaving. 

Yes, and contrary to how it is being presented, a covenant marriage does not make divorce impossible and doom you to marriage for life. 🙄 It makes it harder, but it hardly makes it a life sentence. If Jill really wanted to divorce Derick, she could. 

Edited by Zella
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Just now, Ohiopirate02 said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if Derick or Jill wanted a divorce all he/she would have to do is establish residency in one of the 44 or whatever states that does not have a covenant marriage option and file for divorce?  

I'm sure that would be an option, but if they are separated for 2-2.5 years in Arkansas, she could file for divorce in the state. 

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1 minute ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if Derick or Jill wanted a divorce all he/she would have to do is establish residency in one of the 44 or whatever states that does not have a covenant marriage option and file for divorce?  

That's how I understand it. 

And it's 47 states. 😁

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