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Jill & Derick Dullard: Counting On (Donations)

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28 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't think we will ever know what Jill actually wants.  But, she can easily use Derick as a scapegoat with her family.  Jill may want to have zero contact with her parents or Josh and she can use her "headship" as a reasonable excuse.  This way she can still get together with her other siblings at her house where she can set her own boundaries.  

I agree. I'm sure it's hard for Jill to be distanced from her family, but it may not be the worst thing in the world. It seems like Smuggar and his brood are stapled to the TTH, and that could be a trigger for Jill every time she went over there. Unlike Jessa, I don't think Jill is in as much denial as to how awful Josh's crimes were and how badly Boob and Michelle failed to protect their daughters. 

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Even if Jill wanted to downplay the issue, it may be that Derrick actually has enough sensitivity to realize constant contact with her abuser is not healthy. Since JB & Michelle won't limit his access to his victims, Derrick may have decided, as her headship, that she couldn't be around Josh. Or, he may have told her she's free to go over there but she can't take the boys b/c he doesn't want them around Josh. Since she almost always has the boys and Josh seems to be at the TTH all the time, that puts an end to her visits.

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6 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I agree. I'm sure it's hard for Jill to be distanced from her family, but it may not be the worst thing in the world. It seems like Smuggar and his brood are stapled to the TTH, and that could be a trigger for Jill every time she went over there. Unlike Jessa, I don't think Jill is in as much denial as to how awful Josh's crimes were and how badly Boob and Michelle failed to protect their daughters. 

I am curious if Jessa might begin to feel a bit differently as a mother to a daughter herself?  I don't see Ben being willing to bury his head in the sand when it comes to something potentially being a risk to his children and he may take a stand in regard to Ivy being around Josh.    

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I'm torn. On the one hand, I say bring it to a tell all that exposes all of the dirty lies and secrets Jim Bob, Meeechelle, and the sex pest have been hiding. On the other hand, I cannot stand Dillweed and don't want him to see a dime. Plus, if he's dictating this and Jill's not on board, there's really nothing she can do about it, sadly. I can't imagine she'd want to burn all of her bridges with her younger siblings, which I can see happening if a book comes out and her family cuts off all contact. 

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When it comes to Izzy, I think Derick and Jill look at it this way:  Before Izzy was born, everything was great.  His birth, in addition to not following the fairy-tale ending storyline, came at about the same time everything started going wrong.  They probably confused correlation with causation at some level and blamed him for everything. 

Sam, on the other hand, is the Josie of the family.  I still think something dramatic went wrong with his birth, and they view him as a "miracle" child.  This doesn't dovetail well with my theory that Jill is now infertile, for whatever reason, but it does explain their behavior.  He's also the "baby", at least for now--and if he is definitely the last, they would definitely favor him.  I wonder, if Jill is indeed infertile, if they blame Izzy for that, since it was his difficult birth that led to the first caesarian and thus (perhaps) to the infertility? 

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13 minutes ago, PradaKitty said:

MY e Derrick already has a book deal and has received an advance. That would explain the down payment on their new home.

I don't see Derick getting a six figure advance.  His tell-all won't sell enough copies to justify that.  A six-figure advance means the publisher expects book sales to also be in the six figures.  I know Derick is an idiot, but I don't think he would be that stupid to use his advance as a down payment on the house.  The Dillards home is around $200,000.  A down payment of 20%  of that would be $40,000.  Assuming he has an agent, then his advance would have been $50,000.  He would have used up all of his advance on the house and left no money to pay the mortgage for the next few years.   And then, he is also on the hook if the book does not sell enough copies for him to earn back the advance.  Advances are loans from the publisher based on the projected earnings of the book.  They are meant to be used by the author to cover living expenses while the writer finishes the book or books.  

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8 hours ago, Madtown said:

This makes me sad. The last kid I watched, she could write her name before she was 4. Had to learn it for 4 year old preschool.

Ugh! That poor kid. Why do I think that he gets scolded if he doesn't say "yes ma'am, yes sir" when not on camera? I want to steal him and give him a fun loving life!

Then don't have unprotected lotion sex. I hate them...

I keep seeing references to lotion but I’m out of the loop. What’s that about and will I be sorry for asking?

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

So Dillweed's going to spill his guts?  I have to admit, I'd read it.

Me too.

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I skipped through the video. What I noticed is that Teacher Jill missed three learning opportunities with inquisitive Iz. The first one was when he realized his hand was now bigger than his handprint ornament - Jill ignored his question. The second was when he wasn't sure it was his name and Jill could have spelled it together with him. The third time was when Iz asked why the grass wasn't growing - Jill ignored him again.

Izzy is like most kids and very curious. Jill misses these opportunities and then sits him at a table with candy rewards to learn rote work. Poor kid(s).

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24 minutes ago, SongbirdHollow said:

I keep seeing references to lotion but I’m out of the loop. What’s that about and will I be sorry for asking?

From a sex advice blog jill wrote:

-Go to bed fresh! It’s easy to just want to shower in the morning to wake ourselves up, but showering in the evening (and sometimes before he gets home if you arrive home before him!), and even putting on fragrant lotion in front of him can be another way to say “I care” and “you’re important to me,” and lets him know you’re up for fun whenever he is.  

It has become a running joke here. Seems like all Jilly does is rub lotion on herself all day waiting for sex from DWreck.

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2019/06/more-than-sex-how-to-love-your-husband/

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I'm not on board with Derick writing a tell-all about his in-laws. It's not his story to tell. The way the kids were raised and the molestations happened long before Derick arrived on the scene. He wasn't there and he has no business writing a judgemental book about any of it.  That story, or stories, are for a Duggar to write. And more importantly the molestations are for one of the girls who were molested to write and she should only write about herself.

Also Derick (and his mother) knew very much about the Duggar belief system before he ever met Jill and knew more about it as he was courting her, so he did not go in blind. As far as possibly finding out about the molestations after the marriage - so what. Is Jill damaged now? He didn't marry the family, he married Jill.

If Derick is planning on writing a book about the Duggars shady financial dealings, that's not his story to write either. Not his circus, not his monkeys.

If he truly is writing this book, he's given me another reason to think he's an asshole.

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2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

As far as possibly finding out about the molestations after the marriage - so what. Is Jill damaged now? He didn't marry the family, he married Jill.

Jill is not damaged but she definitely did not get the support and counseling she sorely needed. Derick does have a right to be upset. I’m a very independent woman and keep away from my abusers. I also know my husband is furious and would never permit our children around them (and he thinks also me as in protecting me 😊).  

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1 minute ago, SMama said:

Jill is not damaged but she definitely did not get the support and counseling she sorely needed. Derick does have a right to be upset. I’m a very independent woman and keep away from my abusers. I also know my husband is furious and would never permit our children around them (and he thinks also me as in protecting me 😊).  

Derick for sure has the right to be upset and keep his children away from Josh- full stop.

The other decisions are Jill's and Jill's alone. If Jill is okay with being around Josh, that's her decision. If Jill doesn't want to be near Josh, that's her decision. If Jill wants to write a story, that's her decision.

And just to clarify, I don't see Jill or anyone who has been abused as damaged goods. That sentence was to emphasize that I don't believe when Derick found out, whether before or after the marriage, should matter.

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What's horrifically sad and wrong is, if Jill or anyone else Josh molested was damaged and needed assistance they got no help, no care, no concern -- not even from their own parents!

That's not to say that Jill or anyone else is damaged, rather that they suffered damages.

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11 minutes ago, SMama said:

Jill is not damaged but she definitely did not get the support and counseling she sorely needed. Derick does have a right to be upset. I’m a very independent woman and keep away from my abusers. I also know my husband is furious and would never permit our children around them (and he thinks also me as in protecting me 😊).  

Thinking back in the early days when he met Derick, he seemed much lighter, he seemed happy..... I don't know if it was the quick marriage, Izzy's dangerous birth or maybe the whole Josh scandal that seemed to take a light out of his eyes. And lets not forget he had that jaw surgery. His eyes seem to be a bit brighter. Maybe its his thirst for revenge, maybe he is feeling better from the surgery? But I do agree, as much as I don't like him, he has a right to be upset. My husband would be furious and it Derick's shoes would have beat the crap out of Josh and JB. 

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15 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I don't think Derick tweets the truth. This is familiar behavior from him, tweeting something to get attention during the times that he is on break from school. If he writes a book at all, it will be all about the wonders of Derick and the perfect life he leads. He's a legend in his own mind! He's always vague about criticizing JBoob outright and tends to blame TLC. I think if he ever wrote a book, it would not be a tell-all and would probably be boring. 

that is true. 

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What could Derrick possibly say that would be a revelation?   Josh abused his sisters and a friend, and wasn't held responsible, nor did he make restitution.  He's a scumbag, into porn & hookers.

All this & more is public knowledge already. 

The Duggar adults make shady business deals, probably cheat the IRS and have made a family career of lying, grifting and neglecting their children.  They are uneducated, sleazy and lazy.  Jim Bob & Michelle have manipulated and brainwashed all of their children, for all of their lives.

Most importantly, what could Derick prove that would be worth publishing?  

And I just don't think he has the balls.  

Edited by leighdear
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In my country children do not need to learn to read and write until they start school at average age of six and a half. Do US kids really teach it that early?

I mean, our kids do not need to know, but some learn. My son is almost 6, he reads, writes, not only in our language, but also in English. And he will start school next September

I still feel sorry for Izzy and Sam when I see them.

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1 hour ago, Lunera said:

From a sex advice blog jill wrote:

-Go to bed fresh! It’s easy to just want to shower in the morning to wake ourselves up, but showering in the evening (and sometimes before he gets home if you arrive home before him!), and even putting on fragrant lotion in front of him can be another way to say “I care” and “you’re important to me,” and lets him know you’re up for fun whenever he is.  

It has become a running joke here. Seems like all Jilly does is rub lotion on herself all day waiting for sex from DWreck.

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2019/06/more-than-sex-how-to-love-your-husband/

🤮

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All this lotion talk has given me an earworm. The lyrics are humorously apt, save for the line about a little sister.

Come on baby, put on the sexy lotion.

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12 minutes ago, Snow Fairy said:

In my country children do not need to learn to read and write until they start school at average age of six and a half. Do US kids really teach it that early?

I mean, our kids do not need to know, but some learn. My son is almost 6, he reads, writes, not only in our language, but also in English. And he will start school next September

In my state in the U.S. in order to enter Kindergarten at age 5 kids need to be able to say the alphabet, count to 20, recognize the 8 basic colors, and know several shapes. They are also expected to be able to read by Christmas break.

ETA: They also need to know how to write their name.

Edited by Nysha
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I watched that entire video, and I’m sorry but I don’t see any favoring of Sam over Israel or any dislike of Israel. I see two parents who are trying to decorate and film at the same time, interacting with their children normally. I heard Derrick thank Israel twice in that video, and I heard Jill and Derrick ask both Sam and Israel to stop two different sets of behavior: Israel being impatient and not to gentle with the ornaments and Sam playing with the light switches. 

No, Israel does not get their undivided attention, and no, they didn’t answer all 20 plus questions he asked over that 16 minute video, but that seems perfectly normal to me. The fact is Israel is at that more than a little annoying stage where his brain is working a mile in a minute, and he never shuts up. There’s nothing wrong with his behavior of course, but there’s also nothing horribly wrong with how Jill and Derrick respond to him.  

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I'm sure this book he claims to be writing will simply be "his" story from his viewpoint, How marrying into a reality TV famous family changed his life for the good and the bad, etc.  How his faith in God has allowed him to enter law school, blah, blah blah  I seriously doubt it will be a scathing tell-all like everyone wants.  His mom just had a book published, I'm sure he's getting support from her on the process.

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I think the book will be a marriage manual for showcasing their awesome marriage. Anything else just won't work. Plus, Derick is just so predictable about stirring up shit, isn't he. As much an attention seeker as any Duggar.

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How much does Derrick really know?

As someone else said, the abuse by the parents are not his story to tell. He's not the one who lived it. 

As for the financial stuff, he can talk about not being paid by for the show. But I'm not sure JB showed him his accounting books. 

I also find it hard to believe that Jill & Derrick didn't get some money at some point when they first married. 

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On 12/4/2019 at 1:33 PM, Oldernowiser said:

Is he really planning to write a Duggar family exposé, though, or just some festival of arrogance autobiography at the ripe old age of thirty?

ETA: Queenanne and I simul-posted! But I could see Derick deciding his godliness and work in Nepal would make a book...and I can also see him hinting that the book will have “Duggar secrets” that’ll turn out to be recipes involving canned soup and tater tots.

Agree with you and @queenanne.

If it was mostly about exposing the Duggars and not so much about Derrick himself, I'd buy it, though. Derrick espouses a lot of vile viewpoints, but I'd buy/read his book if it exposed the Duggars. 

On 12/4/2019 at 1:39 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

Jill has been doing some studying on her own over the last year.  She will occasionally show the book she is reading or podcast she is listening to on her Instagram stories.  These titles all have one overarching theme--becoming a happy adult after an emotionally stunted childhood.  I would not be surprised to find out that she is seeing a liked-minded Christian therapist.  There is no way to know if Jill made this decision or if Derick pushed her into it, but she is trying to help herself which is more than what any of her other adult siblings has done.  I would also never announce to the world that I was in therapy, so Jill may be keeping this on the DL. 

This is why I have a soft spot for Jill.

23 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick for sure has the right to be upset and keep his children away from Josh- full stop.

I'd also say it would be reasonable if Derrick vocalized that he was uncomfortable with his children being around Michelle/JB a lot or without other responsible adults around in a situation like a birthday party, etc.  Michelle and JB did not protect their daughters even though it happened more than once (more than twice!). They put it on the girls to protect themselves (all sleeping in the dorm room, wearing their day clothes to bed, having the girls lock their door) rather than dealing with the perpetrator and getting him proper treatment (if Derrick encouraged Jill to go to real therapy, he's probably irked that the Duggars never got Josh "real" help).  I could understand if he didn't want his kids just spending any of the times that Jill was bored by herself over at the TTH where kids & grandkids run wild while the adults do whatever.  I'd get it if he was only okay with the kids being around JB/Michelle at large family holiday gatherings/parties (where Derrick would likely be present himself and there would be other adults in the family he trusts around beside JB/Michelle). 

Obviously, I wouldn't want my kids around Josh.  But I'd also feel some kind of way about my kids spending a lot of time in the home of the people who failed to protect their children from him and who have written off his vile acts as curiosity, excused it, and didn't get him help. 

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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1 minute ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Obviously, I wouldn't want my kids around Josh.  But I'd also feel some kind of way about my kids spending a lot of time in the home of the people who failed to protect their children from him and who have written off his vile acts as curiosity, excused it, and didn't get him help. 

Slow clap.

Brava!

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4 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I’m sure Jim gave them a payout when they left the show. Even now it’s possible they are being supported by Jim.

I think JB supported them at one point, but I don't think he's supporting them now. I don't think Derrick would be running his mouth off if JB was paying the bills. He seems really angry about the financial situation. I'm guessing that he feels that he didn't get his piece of the pie. 

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2 hours ago, JoanArc said:

I think the book will be a marriage manual for showcasing their awesome marriage. Anything else just won't work. Plus, Derick is just so predictable about stirring up shit, isn't he. As much an attention seeker as any Duggar.

Audrey and Jeremy Roloff (Little People, Big World) already wrote the marriage book about the most amazing marriage ever, and Jill is promoting it and related merchandise on her Instagram. I doubt the Dillards can top the Roloffs, but the bar is low for marriage books authored by young couples with limited experience and poor writing skills (a genre of its own). Also, it's not enough to write a book; the author has to get out and sell it. When would Derick have time to do that? 

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5 hours ago, Fallacy said:

I watched that entire video, and I’m sorry but I don’t see any favoring of Sam over Israel or any dislike of Israel. I see two parents who are trying to decorate and film at the same time, interacting with their children normally. I heard Derrick thank Israel twice in that video, and I heard Jill and Derrick ask both Sam and Israel to stop two different sets of behavior: Israel being impatient and not to gentle with the ornaments and Sam playing with the light switches. 

No, Israel does not get their undivided attention, and no, they didn’t answer all 20 plus questions he asked over that 16 minute video, but that seems perfectly normal to me. The fact is Israel is at that more than a little annoying stage where his brain is working a mile in a minute, and he never shuts up. There’s nothing wrong with his behavior of course, but there’s also nothing horribly wrong with how Jill and Derrick respond to him.  

Agreed 100%.  I do think Jill has failed at times to exercise good judgement in the types of videos she posts with the kids (example: when one or both are upset or crying), I've never picked up on dislike or distain for either child. It seems like a trope that was created and now there's some confirmation bias at work when people view the pictures and videos.

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Wouldn't it be great if the media got a hold of Dreck's plan/threat to write a Duggar tell-all, ran with it and put him on the spot?

I could see Dreck immediately back pedaling, talking in circles and claiming he never said anything of the sort. His plan all along was to write a book chronicling his mad skills as a missionary and soul saver. Because we all want to read about that.

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Now that Derick got his message out there about wanting to write a book, I wonder how long it will take before he gets a book deal.  I can totally see the staff at one of the Big 5 publishers (or more) doing the numbers today to see how well this book could sell.  If it looks like it could be a bestseller, then it could happen.  The publisher would provide the ghostwriter and editors to make it happen and set Derick up with a book agent.  If they work fast enough, the book could hit late spring 2020.  Or the numbers aren't there, and this book never happens.  It's really a coin toss at this point.

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So Israel graduated from kindergarten. That is so sweet, now he and Jill have the same educational level. 
 
IIRC, Jill posted on IG about Israel writing his name on the wall, then like a typical child denied it. The S was written backwards, very common in kids his age. So either not recognizing his name was a fluke, or Godly Jilly Muffin staged the incident. A Duggar lying? Never!

Edited by SMama
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15 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I think JB supported them at one point, but I don't think he's supporting them now. I don't think Derrick would be running his mouth off if JB was paying the bills. He seems really angry about the financial situation. I'm guessing that he feels that he didn't get his piece of the pie. 

Imagine how much it must burn if Josh and family are receiving a bigger slice than Jill and family -- not only based on the fact he abused his sisters, but that Jill was pushed out in front of the cameras and bright lights to keep them all Counting On the $$$.

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Count me in among those who think Derick's tweet was more of his trollingly vague answers. He might be writing a book, but it's more in line with what his mother did, a memoir about his path to fundie Jesus. He'll go on about Nepal and Danger America and maybe go into his squabbles with TLC, but he's not going into tell-all territory.

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1 hour ago, SMama said:

So Israel graduated from kindergarten. That is so sweet, now he and Jill have the same educational level. 

  Lol 😂🤣😂

1 hour ago, SMama said:

The S was written backwards,

Perhaps he needs to be evaluated for dyslexia. It also might help explain why he had trouble recognizing his own name. Sadly I know that it won’t happen. 

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12 hours ago, coconspirator said:

Agreed 100%.  I do think Jill has failed at times to exercise good judgement in the types of videos she posts with the kids (example: when one or both are upset or crying), I've never picked up on dislike or distain for either child. It seems like a trope that was created and now there's some confirmation bias at work when people view the pictures and videos.

It's not entirely biased when we've heard Derick and Jill themselves talk about needing to have another child so that Israel doesn't think the world revolves around him or when they spoke of him as an infant having a basically evil nature.  I realize that those are their religious beliefs, but they are not beliefs shared by most of us and, when those of us who do not think of babies as inherently evil or selfish hear parents talking about their own flesh and blood in those terms; it does cause us to pause and wonder.  I suspect Jill and Derick feel the same way about Sam, but, maybe they learned their lesson and aren't publicizing their second son's sinfulness.

Edited by doodlebug
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1 hour ago, leighdear said:

And being Pistol Pete.  Lots & lots about Pistol Pete.  Whole chapters about Pistol Pete. 

And the family legacy that is Pistol Pete. 

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19 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick for sure has the right to be upset and keep his children away from Josh- full stop.

The other decisions are Jill's and Jill's alone. If Jill is okay with being around Josh, that's her decision. If Jill doesn't want to be near Josh, that's her decision. If Jill wants to write a story, that's her decision.

And just to clarify, I don't see Jill or anyone who has been abused as damaged goods. That sentence was to emphasize that I don't believe when Derick found out, whether before or after the marriage, should matter.

The abuse is Jill's story.  What happened with the family after he got involved with her IS his story to tell as well as hers.  So maybe she should have a few chapters.  It may be helpful to her to speak her truth.  Or not.  But I am here for all the deets re the contracts and the inner workings of the family.  It would be very interesting and popcorn worthy. 

Frankly, I think we got the story re the abuse from Alice years before it came out in the media.  The media confirmed pretty much everything she posted about.  I know all I need to about gropey Josh.  I do however believe it involved more than the 5 we heard about and I believe it was way worse.

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Aethera

If your post is not PRIMARILY about the Duggars, it will be removed. Please stick to the topic or take it to Small Talk, thank you.

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