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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Is it possible that all the kidults agreed to be "paid" to a Duggar Company? And of course, JB is the owner of that company. The kids have always been controlled by their parents. They are raised to think that their parents are always right. I don't think they would go against their father. 

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1 minute ago, farmgal4 said:

Check out Jill’s IGStory, featuring Derdick making fun of Sam.  

Nearly crushing his little hand and mocking him all the while, along with Jill. Jesus, what terrible parents.

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29 minutes ago, PoshSprinkles said:

It could have been a case of everyone over 18 (i.e. they couples) saying they would "volunteer" and not get any money for appearing, but JB going behind their backs and getting a paid contract that excluded them. 

There is no way that TLC would allow the main cast members of their biggest reality show to 'volunteer' without pay unless every single one over the age of 18 signed a statement to that effect.  And, surely, all of them knew that the family was paid over the years for their appearance on the original specials and series.  Jill is old enough to remember how impoverished they were before TLC came along.  So, if they got paid for the first series, why would they ever consider 'volunteering' for the next series; one that was specifically built around them?  I expect that the Dillards signed over their right to negotiate and be paid separately to JB enterprises and didn't get  a specific salary for themselves to be paid by the corporation to them..  So, when the checks came in, all the money went to JB and he decided if or when any of the rest of them got a dime. And, once Derick went off the rails, JB punished them by refusing to give them any of the proceeds.

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1 minute ago, farmgal4 said:

They’re both ASSHOLES.

Agreed. Poster children to avoid their way of life, and way both of them were brought up. I think their real ministry has been, and always will be, serving as examples of how NOT to live.

giphy.gif

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15 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

He’s apparently deleted the tweet, because I’m not finding it.

I wonder if someone alerted TLC and didn't remove his tag. 

I don't see the hand squashing, but I did see Derelict mimicking Sam doing his ABCs.

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2 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Derrick’s threatening TLC from the depths of his first year of law school wisdom is kind of comical. Like TLC’s lawyers couldn’t tear him up and spit him out.

But Derrick’s putting this out on SM is...interesting.

That's exactly what I was thinking when I posted above. This is AFAIK the first crack in the Duggar united front. The first critical words about JB publicly uttered by any Duggar or in-law. (And apparently now withdrawn - ETA later, oh maybe it's not.)

I pretty much tune out threats of litigation from 2Ls, but the bald statement that JB was negotiating for everybody and telling nobody is huge. 

I agree, @Oldernowiser, that somehow JB has probably continued to represent the whole family in making the deals with TLC - or the production company. Not sure how that arrangement works because TLC I think buys the show from the production company and I assume the company pays the Duggars' appearance fees to them. Anyway, when this all started, the kids were all at home and probably almost all minors, it was "Jim Bob's family," and he was the dealmaker. I agree, he's brainwashed the kids so that years later as adults they go along with what he does regardless of their legal rights as adults. 

I think that Jeremy and Derick, not being brainwashed by JB, would not have been so amenable to taking whatever kind of deal JB worked with TLC/the production company.  Austin may have sort of shrugged and gone along with it; he's obviously not into the TV show thing and probably just takes it as part of the deal of being married to Joy. Ben's of course a wholly owned Duggar subsidiary, and the Duggar sons aren't going to rock the boat either. 

I doubt we'll know the details, but clearly Derick was not happy with whatever deal JB worked. Remember, Derick complained that TLC refused to pay the medical bills for I think Izzy's delivery. I wonder if that surprised Derick, since TLC was filming it, and maybe that's when he found out what kind of deal JB had made. Derick may have gone along with it when new in the family without looking into it much. What with Joshgate and all, methinks Derick's honeymoon phase with his parents-in-law was over not all that long into his marriage, not helped by his learning what kind of deal there really was with TLC - and what it was, we may never really know. Unless Derick talks again. He did say he and Jill were "volunteers" on the show. Now I wonder if that was a backhand slap at JB, as in, we thought we were getting paid for this but it turned out we weren't. 

So, again, I doubt Derick has any kind of valid legal action against TLC or the production company, but his blurting out that slam against JB shows he feels that he and Jill were not treated fairly.

Derick will probably shut up and not slam his in-laws again, at least for awhile. 

Edited by Jeeves
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Ok I saw Derick "making fun" of Sam video and honestly didn't find much wrong with it. It was actually kind of funny. If you know kids around that age they do get very repetitive and often an outlet is needed for the 1000th time they said "I burped." I'm glad Sam is being taught his ABC's though! That's a relief. I do think Jill and Derick are trying to give Izzy and Sam a better education than the J'Slaves and if they're not perfect at it they're at least trying.

The stuff between Derick and JB ... hmm. My guess is that a long time ago Jill and the rest of the J'slaves might have signed a POA over to JB. This would give TLC access to film them and put them on a TV show. When they were young this made sense. But when the show changed Derick and Jill probably wanted to renegotiate and were stunned at how much JB was raking in. Or maybe JB exercised his POA rights and tried to take a cut of the deal Derick and Jill made. That's my guess. We always knew JB was greedy as hell.

I really dislike Derick's political views but it's kind of also clear that he comes from a pretty different upbringing than Jill. He went to public school, his parents seemed to put a premium on education, and now he's in a legit law school. He always seemed more into the political side of being an evangelical Christian. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a bit of buyers' remorse that he has a wife that can barely read or write and in laws he dislikes not just personally but because at the end of the day the Dillards just are too different from the Duggars.

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2 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

Ok I saw Derick "making fun" of Sam video and honestly didn't find much wrong with it. It was actually kind of funny. If you know kids around that age they do get very repetitive and often an outlet is needed for the 1000th time they said "I burped." I'm glad Sam is being taught his ABC's though! That's a relief. I do think Jill and Derick are trying to give Izzy and Sam a better education than the J'Slaves and if they're not perfect at it they're at least trying.

The stuff between Derick and JB ... hmm. My guess is that a long time ago Jill and the rest of the J'slaves might have signed a POA over to JB. This would give TLC access to film them and put them on a TV show. When they were young this made sense. But when the show changed Derick and Jill probably wanted to renegotiate and were stunned at how much JB was raking in. Or maybe JB exercised his POA rights and tried to take a cut of the deal Derick and Jill made. That's my guess. We always knew JB was greedy as hell.

I really dislike Derick's political views but it's kind of also clear that he comes from a pretty different upbringing than Jill. He went to public school, his parents seemed to put a premium on education, and now he's in a legit law school. He always seemed more into the political side of being an evangelical Christian. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a bit of buyers' remorse that he has a wife that can barely read or write and in laws he dislikes not just personally but because at the end of the day the Dillards just are too different from the Duggars.

Obviously, Derdick is completely estranged from Ma and Pa Duggar.  Do you all think Jill is too?  I get the feeling that she is.

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5 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Obviously, Derdick is completely estranged from Ma and Pa Duggar.  Do you all think Jill is too?  I get the feeling that she is.

I'd hate to think so. I agree, there seems to be a distance. Could be a healthy distance. But I hope Jill's adjusted to it. I mean, she was essentially brought up in a family cult, cloistered with her sibs and parents 24/7/365. IIRC she had to adjust to just living with one other person when she married. 

I do hope she's not estranged. That would be too hard on her to deal with I think.

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8 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I'd hate to think so. I agree, there seems to be a distance. Could be a healthy distance. But I hope Jill's adjusted to it. I mean, she was essentially brought up in a family cult, cloistered with her sibs and parents 24/7/365. IIRC she had to adjust to just living with one other person when she married. 

I do hope she's not estranged. That would be too hard on her to deal with I think.

I wonder if this is part of her Stage 5 Clinger problem?

Derrick seems awfully salty for a guy who got extensively lotioned last night.

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41 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I'd hate to think so. I agree, there seems to be a distance. Could be a healthy distance. But I hope Jill's adjusted to it. I mean, she was essentially brought up in a family cult, cloistered with her sibs and parents 24/7/365. IIRC she had to adjust to just living with one other person when she married. 

I do hope she's not estranged. That would be too hard on her to deal with I think.

Based on Jill's Instagram, I think she is trying to better herself at Derick's encouragement.   I believe he loves Jill, knows she has problems,  the root of those problems is her shitty parents, and he is trying to help his wife.  Dude still has a shitload of issues, but I see him trying,  and so is Jill.  Jill needs space from her parents and she also needs to be able set her own boundaries.   

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If you think about it Jill does do a lot of things different from her parents. She’s obviously on some kind of birth control. She wears pants. The kids celebrate “pagan” holidays like Halloween. They seem to watch some secular entertainment and their church going is sometimes done with an online livestream. She doesn’t seem to be in touch with Smuggar at all and thank god — I’ll never forgive JB for dragging Jill and Jessa on tv to defend their brother. And she’s trying to be a more active hands on parent. 

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24 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Whoa! And I thought he wouldn't continue to snipe at or about his in-laws in public. Silly me. Wrong again. Maybe I should pop some popcorn after all. 

All he knows how to do is resent and snipe. The in-laws shouldn't be surprised he eventually turned it on them.

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On 11/11/2019 at 5:51 PM, Lukeysboat said:

Wow. I think they look like regular people. Not sure what the expectations are but looks don’t indicate brains anyway. 

Plus, law firms now are all about "real people", says the person who used to manage miles of attorney contacts for her bosses.  Once upon a time, law firms were so insular, afraid of stalkers, etc., that they would never, ever use pictures of real people upon their law firm webpages, and instead did use uniform pretty stock models whenever people were called for.  Somewhere along the lines, this changed 180 degrees; and now law firms have "picture taking days"; and derive all their website pictures from the source of their actual employees, including group shots in a conference room.  Probably some sort of push towards "customer service" orientation.

On 11/11/2019 at 5:03 PM, Jeeves said:

It's dormant now. Should green up next spring.

About the icy weather. I know this is true in Oklahoma and probably also in NW Arkansas, which is next door. They can get nasty ice storms, or just icy roads. I swear, I'd rather drive in or after a serious snowstorm here in Denver, than have to drive in the icy conditions they can get in OK. And unlike Denver, I doubt that the city where the Dillards live, has much equipment on hand to clear snow and deice roads. I hope Derick makes it home okay.

But, Jill, really. His "stuff" is cancelled. Not his study group or project meeting or whatever, but his "stuff." Sigh.

You know that the only reason Jill didn't say "study group" etc., is because she's so ignorant of what goes on in a real school that she doesn't know/can't remember the highly technical terms such as "study group"; so has to flail around to figure what to call it.

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Can anyone figure out why Derick waited a month to respond to his previous Jim Bob rant on Twitter? I can't figure out if he thinks he's being strategic or if he just sulks about it a lot and it builds up to periodic rages. 

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I find derick’s statements confusing and don’t know quite what to make of it. Obviously he’s no fan of TLC or his FIL’s negotiating skillz, and isn’t afraid to air it publicly!

thats got to put Jill in an uncomfortable position, between wanting to please and obey both her husband and daddy, who appear to be at odds. It must be hard to be conflicted, and perhaps not able to be as much a part of the family, not being on the show.  Hopefully that will lead her to continue to branch out and become her own person!  

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38 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

I have a feeling that JBoob won’t get much sleep tonight 

I think he'll sleep fine. I think the JB thinks he's 100% right and moral and super-Jesus-y, and within the bubble where he lives, no one is going to tell him otherwise. Derick is a sad, misguided sinner who has strayed from his rightful place under JB's umbrella of authority.

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5 minutes ago, cmr2014 said:

I think he'll sleep fine. I think the JB thinks he's 100% right and moral and super-Jesus-y, and within the bubble where he lives, no one is going to tell him otherwise. Derick is a sad, misguided sinner who has strayed from his rightful place under JB's umbrella of authority.

All likely.

Although I suspect he might also throw the word “pissant” in there somewhere...

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I doubt Jim Bob is quaking in his boots over Derick. (Maybe he should be--if Derick gets pissy enough, maybe he will be the one who writes the tell-all that brings it all tumbling down--but as I said earlier, I also think Derick just likes to be pissy and make noise without following through.)

I imagine, though, that Derick and Jim Bob are not speaking right now, and it has put Jill in a very awkward situation.

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Derick's clearly resentful of whatever deal JB put into place, but the bottom line is that he went along with it willingly for several seasons. No one made him or Jill participate against their wills once they were adults. Apparently there was nothing wrong with the terms of agreement until afterwards. Seems like buyers remorse to me. If it turns out that JB out and out lied about the terms, Derick has every right to be pissed, but still, he apparently found it agreeable at the time.

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29 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Derick's clearly resentful of whatever deal JB put into place, but the bottom line is that he went along with it willingly for several seasons. No one made him or Jill participate against their wills once they were adults. Apparently there was nothing wrong with the terms of agreement until afterwards. Seems like buyers remorse to me. If it turns out that JB out and out lied about the terms, Derick has every right to be pissed, but still, he apparently found it agreeable at the time.

Which is why he has no case against TLC or his father-in-law.   Unless JB forged his signature on a contract. 

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56 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I agree with most of that.  I totally agree that Derick has no legal case against JB or TLC or the production company, except if somebody committed massive fraud and probably forgery.

I think that Derick rushed into marriage with Jill. He'd been living in Nepal, probably filling his head with visions of marrying a great Christian girl with whom he'd partner for a great career as SBC missionaries through their International Missions Board. And his mother was fighting cancer which must have been hard on him emotionally. 

I think he went into his marriage with Jill before his feet had really hit the ground after coming back from Nepal. And of course getting into the Duggar world, and the Duggar family, came with the TV show appearances. I think that Derick started off in all that with great trust in JB, and no inclination to rock the boat. He was being welcomed into this big famous super Christian family, getting married and getting to have teh sex on the regular without enduring the hassles and challenges of dating, his wife was smart and going to be a great missionary partner for him - and he was gonna be on TV too!

But although nobody force-marched Jill or Derick in front of the TV cameras, being on the show wasn't really a business deal for them. It wasn't like deciding to buy furniture. It was bound up with family, and the powerful role that JB (and Michelle) play in that family. Yes, they were legally adults. But they were young, Jill was incredibly sheltered and enmeshed in her family, and Derick wanted to be a good husband and son-in-law. So although I don't think there was any undue influence on them in the "legal" sense, the family dynamics made it inevitable they would trust JB and probably not ask a lot of questions. 

I don't know when Derick began to see his in-laws more clearly, but Joshgate had to have been like a two by four to his head. The dude had not just married into this family, he'd entered into a covenant marriage (not legally necessary but a nice conservative Evangelical touch), publicized to millions because of the TV show. We know that he was upset that TLC didn't pay their medical bills for (I think) Izzy's birth since he said that on SM and said it took them a year to pay those bills. Derick can be a jerk. But really, when I think of what has happened since he returned from Nepal? It speaks to his character that he hasn't bugged out, hit the road, and made a new life for himself under another name. He's hanging in and even so far getting through law school, showing a little hustle by delivering GrubHub on the side. 

So, no lawsuit there but I don't think he was extraordinarily greedy or stupid for going along with JB over the TV show deal, just too immature, trusting, and naive.

Add Derick's seemingly botched mouth surgery to his overwhelming events.

I'm surprised that Jill appears to be at peace with what's going on; at least on SM she seems to be firmly in Derick's camp and doesn't come across distressed (well, some have speculated she's depressed). 

As far as Derick writing a tell-all, I don't think he knows it all; he only knows the last few years - which may still be full of eye-openers. But only a Duggar kid knows the whole truth. 

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1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Yes home made is always better.  And instead of commercial broth one can make stock in their own crockpot or Instant Pot.  Or better yet, bone broth.  Lots of ways to improve!

IIRC, Jill once did a blurb on making bone broth.

Edited by Barb23
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7 hours ago, mynextmistake said:

I also remember that when Derick was asked about Josh, he said something like “forgiving doesn’t mean trusting.” It would not surprise me in the least if he forbade Jill from taking the boys to the TTH when Josh was around, which is probably all the time. That would explain why Michelle visits Jill and they can get together for restaurant meals and such but Jill doesn’t go to the TTH anymore. 

If this is true, I have only one thing to say — GO DERICK. 

Goddammit @mynextmistake now you're making me side with Derick on something. Though I guess this is a classic "a stopped clock is right twice a day" example-Derick can be an ass AND he can be right that Josh shouldn't be around children. 

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11 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

Derick can be a total jerk about social issues (honestly, most everyone Duggar-related is about social issues) but right about JimBob. The two aren't mutually exclusive. If JB is creaming the profits and their kids are not getting a fair share that's a legitimate beef.

It's kind of nuts that TLC presents the BEST version of JB and Michelle and they still come across as entitled, pompous assholes and indifferent parents. I'd hate to see the "JB and Michelle, Director's Cut" version. 

I saw a video on reddit recently that Derick posted a while ago, I'm sure it's been posted here when he put it on Instagram, and in the background you could see Meeechelle reprimanding one of the lost girls, I want to say Jenny, and that poor kid looked terrified like it was a regular occurrence. Once she noticed the camera Meeechelle came over to Derick and turned on her 'keeping sweet' persona. It was creepy as fuck. 

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