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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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In the video above - in the group of Instagram photos of Derek and kids in costume - Jill is waiting in the car, while Derek and kids are inside getting free food. This makes Derek an "amazing" husband. And she tells us how peaceful and quiet it is to sit alone; she sighs with delight. My question - why can't she enjoy that 5 minutes actually alone? Why does she need to record it and "talk to us" about it?

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38 minutes ago, galaxygirl76 said:

Psssstttt, if you go truck or treating they give you free candy! My kid got candy for weeks! 

Because that would be celebrating Halloween!  This is different...for reasons.*
 

*Its not different, but they’ll try to spin it that way, just like churches do with their versions of celebrations. If you call it Fall Festival then it’s not Halloween! 🙄

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20 hours ago, Zella said:

Agreed! I know some SAHMs who sell MLMs. I think MLMs are stupid and would not at all want to be around those women if they pressured me about it, but they don't. 

I think it is possible the friend just sees Jill as a potential meal ticket, but I think it is also quite possible she really is a friend who happens to have an MLM side business. Time will tell! 

It kind of reminds me of the pilot episode of "On Becoming a God in Central Florida", where the MLM guy is talking to the police about his downlink dying, and he says "I don't have friends, I have business partners...but he was my best business partner."

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11 hours ago, MzTori77 said:

They go from being sick and housebound for 3 days to dressing up in costumes and going out for free/cheap corn dogs and doughnuts. Nothing like greasy, fatty food after you’ve been sick. Anything for a freebie, I guess. Usually, when people are that cheap, they don’t advertise it to the world. 

Jilly doesn’t understand the grifter game entirely 

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36 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Again, not a mom, and it may be the lighting, but those kids still look sick.

They look tired and clammy. It would've made more sense to keep the kids in and stage a little Halloween celebration at home, but a grifter's gotta grift.

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5 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

They look tired and clammy. It would've made more sense to keep the kids in and stage a little Halloween celebration at home, but a grifter's gotta grift.

Jill would probably think she was headed straight to hell if she ever tried to 'celebrate' Halloween with her kids.  Taking them out, even if sick, for free/cheap food is not the same as celebrating Halloween in her book.  I don't remember if we ever heard that Derick did Trick or Treating as a kid.  Based on Miss Cathy's current rigid belief system, I can't see her being on board with it at this point, but maybe she was less strict when Derick and Dan were kids.

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Maybe I am paranoid but I wouldn't let my daughter eat a corn dog strapped in to the car seat. I would be nervous about choking. And if something did happen, I would not have easy access to her. You would have to get out of the car, get back in, unstrap her  ect. I chop all high risk foods ( grapes , strawberries ect) to death. I don't think ive given my daughter a hot dog yet but I would chop that to death too. 

And we all know this is Jill so she probably had her back turned to Sam and was instagramming for the majority of the meal so if Sam did choke, she could potentially not even notice for a minute or two. 

 I don't even let my daughter have snacks in the car, much less a full meal. Just gross and messy and way harder than feeding a toddler in the high chair. I try to keep the car seat as clean as possible because it is a bitch to clean so all food is eaten in the house. Even though I know sonic is a drive in , with kids Sam and Izzy's ages I think it would be way easier to just take the food home and eat there. 

Edited by yogi2014L
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I suspect the dullards and their judgmental, punishing god have ways to instill fear in small children, with or without corndogs. Consider David Waller's confession that at three years old, he realized he was a doomed sinner, and Michelle's blanket training of enticing a baby off a blanket and then hitting the little one for disobedience. Who knows what goes on in the dullard home we don't see? 

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I don’t really have much judgement - I’m 26 and I ate 5 greasy tacos, 4 cookies, and a boatload of chocolate yesterday.  My skin is paying the price this morning 😞  and honestly brands like Chipotle will use Halloween as a loss leader of sorts.  Get it for $4 today and you’ll crave a burrito again a week from now.  It stays fresh and relevant.  I almost went to Chipotle yesterday but I had one on Wednesday already lol

Now...Derick thinking a sombrero Is a costume?  Fuck YOU in the ass.

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Uh so I'm watching Jill's Instagram and I'm actually confused as to how they live. It's great that they get free corn dogs and krispykremes but is krispykreme paying them to advertise? I guess this whole "influencer" thing is still new to me. Is there a contract that if krispykreme gives them free food they have to advertise it on their social media? 

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5 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

Uh so I'm watching Jill's Instagram and I'm actually confused as to how they live. It's great that they get free corn dogs and krispykremes but is krispykreme paying them to advertise? I guess this whole "influencer" thing is still new to me. Is there a contract that if krispykreme gives them free food they have to advertise it on their social media? 

No idea here.  I'm a clueless old lady (COL on the Sister Wives forums) and I don't get the whole influencer thing.  I'd ask my daughter, but I'm sure I still wouldn't get it.

I just find it tacky as hell that people of means expect handouts every time they turn around.  There are people that aren't on Instagram or that don't have internet access, that surely could use freebies like these much more than these folks, who grift at every opportunity.  

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I have drunk some pickle juice, but not that great value shit.  If I'm going to chug some pickle juice (or eat) its gonna be some Claussens**.  Life is too short for an inferior pickle. 

**Or whatever the bar gives me for my pickle-back.  

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Sure, kids die from eating hot dogs (chocking)...people die from eating and doing all types of things.  But there is something about knowing your kid, too.  My son is 3 and eats hot dogs like an adult (holding it in a bun and chowing down) for at least a year.  I watch him, and he is fine.  I think it's more of an issue if kids rush when they are eating and don't pay attention or shovel food into their mouths.  Being a stay at home mom who spends a lot of time around other kids (I'm in a moms club) has taught me that what is an issue for some kids is not an issue for others.  I DO, however, think it is weird and not so good that he is eating it in a car.  I'd want my son to eat something like that at a table.

Her 5 minutes of peace in the car were sad...and confusing.  I think the kids nap and go to bed at a reasonable hour, so she should have time to herself.  And, if she let Izzy go to a part time preschool program, she'd only have Sam home for a bit during the week...that would make things more peaceful too, Jill!  One would think this woman has a lot more than 2 kids.

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If Jill's kids have time to play with a grill and tear up a kitchen, she seemingly is taking a lot of "breaks" from her kids.

I don't know if she's trying to be relatable or what, but she comes off as a mother who never enjoys her kids. I agree with @lucy711 - her 5 minutes of peace in the car is sad and confusing.

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5 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Her 5 minutes of peace in the car were sad...and confusing.  I think the kids nap and go to bed at a reasonable hour, so she should have time to herself.  And, if she let Izzy go to a part time preschool program, she'd only have Sam home for a bit during the week...that would make things more peaceful too, Jill!  One would think this woman has a lot more than 2 kids.

I think that this is what she thinks she's supposed to say. That's what she's heard her entire life and she has absolutely no frame of reference to what anyone else would think of as a "busy life."

She doesn't have time to do the laundry or clean the house because haha #boymom! What has she seen all her life except a dirty house, dirty laundry, no linens on the beds, no dinner on the table, etc. because haha mama is soooo busy with her kids -- meanwhile J'chelle literally does nothing all day.

I think from Jill's perspective, she is doing everything right, and her posts are completely relateable for any #boymoms or #SAHMs out there.

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4 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

I think that this is what she thinks she's supposed to say. That's what she's heard her entire life and she has absolutely no frame of reference to what anyone else would think of as a "busy life."

She doesn't have time to do the laundry or clean the house because haha #boymom! What has she seen all her life except a dirty house, dirty laundry, no linens on the beds, no dinner on the table, etc. because haha mama is soooo busy with her kids -- meanwhile J'chelle literally does nothing all day.

I think from Jill's perspective, she is doing everything right, and her posts are completely relateable for any #boymoms or #SAHMs out there.

Yes, you are right.  And as a SAHM, I'm afraid to say that there are plenty of non-fundie women out there who are like her.  I live in suburban NJ in a pretty secular area but it is common for a lot of my peers to constantly post how they have no time and how hard it is to be a SAHM, especially a  "boy mom."  I really hate the boy mom term because boys aren't any harder than girls (I'm actually a "boy mom" but that will end because I'm expecting a girl).

Anyway...you know what is hard, Jill?  Having to work full or part time and being a mom!  I think Jill would seriously have a nervous breakdown in that situation.  She is also lucky that she and Derick are at least comfortable and not struggling financially too much.  Out of all the Duggars, I'm most interested to see what life has in store for her.

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When the TLC money dries up, Jill & Derick may be happy they bailed/got pushed out. By then they'll be used to figuring out different sources of income. The rest of the Duggar kids, except maybe Austin & Joy and Jeremy & Jinger, are going to be screwed. They're not use to working to meet someone else's standards, keeping regular hours, and they spend money like it grows on trees.

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6 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Yes, you are right.  And as a SAHM, I'm afraid to say that there are plenty of non-fundie women out there who are like her.  I live in suburban NJ in a pretty secular area but it is common for a lot of my peers to constantly post how they have no time and how hard it is to be a SAHM, especially a  "boy mom."  I really hate the boy mom term because boys aren't any harder than girls (I'm actually a "boy mom" but that will end because I'm expecting a girl).

Anyway...you know what is hard, Jill?  Having to work full or part time and being a mom!  I think Jill would seriously have a nervous breakdown in that situation.  She is also lucky that she and Derick are at least comfortable and not struggling financially too much.  Out of all the Duggars, I'm most interested to see what life has in store for her.

Hmm I actually think Jill might be LESS overwhelmed with the kids if she got a job. Since I asked the question about "influencers" I've found out some of the less glam parts of the "job." Basically it's a 24/7 hustle to find new sponsors, work out new deals, and come up with a steady supply of posts that subtly or unsubtly push a product. It's draining because there's no structure, no routine. One day you have to love Starbucks' latest coffee concoction and the next minute you have to love some brand of diapers.

Jill's "buddies" were probably the closest bunch, and as a J'Slave she did have constant jobs. There was no choice -- Michelle certainly wasn't going to do anything. But now with a manageable family size but not much structure she looks tired and overwhelmed.

If she had even a small job as a volunteer or a home business her day would have more structure, and having two sick kids wouldn't be so overwhelming. She'd also have a paycheck that wasn't reliant on eating krispykremes on Instagram.

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47 minutes ago, Growsonwalls said:

Hmm I actually think Jill might be LESS overwhelmed with the kids if she got a job. Since I asked the question about "influencers" I've found out some of the less glam parts of the "job." Basically it's a 24/7 hustle to find new sponsors, work out new deals, and come up with a steady supply of posts that subtly or unsubtly push a product. It's draining because there's no structure, no routine. One day you have to love Starbucks' latest coffee concoction and the next minute you have to love some brand of diapers.

Jill's "buddies" were probably the closest bunch, and as a J'Slave she did have constant jobs. There was no choice -- Michelle certainly wasn't going to do anything. But now with a manageable family size but not much structure she looks tired and overwhelmed.

If she had even a small job as a volunteer or a home business her day would have more structure, and having two sick kids wouldn't be so overwhelming. She'd also have a paycheck that wasn't reliant on eating krispykremes on Instagram.

I think your 100% right about this.

I think that any of the Duggars would have a hard time adjusting to any type of structure -- Jill had an awful time when Derick worked at Wal-Mart, and she was just adjacent to structure then. Given their bent for following rules and obeying authority, they would probably thrive in a very structured environment, once they got used to it.

I don't think that Jill has the self-discipline to run a home business, but some sort of day job would probably help her structure her days.

I watched part of the "Isn't it Romantic" episode and was struck by the thought that they were enjoying themselves. They literally have nothing to do all day, every day. I think that any sort of imagination or spontaneity has been beaten out of them, and I think that they would all be terrified to suggest an activity lest someone were to think that they weren't thinking about Jesus 100% of the time. Having the producers show up and give them some dumb-ass activity to engage in for a few hours may really brighten up their days.

I think that it would rock Jill's world to have some reason to get up in the morning, and have stories and accomplishments of her own to talk about in the evening. I don't see that ever happening, though, unless they become completely destitute. Even then, I think Jill's solution would be to move back to the TTH

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7 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Yes, you are right.  And as a SAHM, I'm afraid to say that there are plenty of non-fundie women out there who are like her.  I live in suburban NJ in a pretty secular area but it is common for a lot of my peers to constantly post how they have no time and how hard it is to be a SAHM, especially a  "boy mom."  I really hate the boy mom term because boys aren't any harder than girls (I'm actually a "boy mom" but that will end because I'm expecting a girl).

Anyway...you know what is hard, Jill?  Having to work full or part time and being a mom!  I think Jill would seriously have a nervous breakdown in that situation.  She is also lucky that she and Derick are at least comfortable and not struggling financially too much.  Out of all the Duggars, I'm most interested to see what life has in store for her.

Yeah I think she is trying to echo other things she sees on social media and is too tone deaf/sheltered to realize how weird it sounds coming from her. I'd cut Jill a ton of slack on that if she actually seemed to do constructive things consistently throughout the day as many SAHMs do, but I am quite baffled by how she occupies a lot of her time. 

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I also think that all the Duggars have this idea that they're royalty within the fundie community, and it's beneath them to do much all day besides hawk junk food and home schooling conferences on Instagram. I hate him but Smuggar was probably the first and last Duggar who had a 9-5 job. It was in a lobbying firm that hired him because he was a Duggar but still ... Of course we all know what happened to that. 

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You know what is REALLY hard???!!!! Being a #manmom + stepmom +grandmom......You have to listen to them whine and then you offer to take the grandkids of their hands or if they don't have children you buy them random gift cards for gas or the car wash....It is UddERly (ha,ha...I buy ChikFilA cards) exhausting....Get over it Jill.

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1 hour ago, floridamom said:

Jill's sons still have coughs & runny noses but she and DDD took the boys riding around in cars on Halloween for corn dogs and other crap to eat? I'm shaking my head here.

I really don't have have an issue with taking the kids out in the car for some fun in the car with colds....They could be sent into the yard to make mischief with coal. 

I do think it is odd to point out that you are watching church by live stream.....I do that on occasion, I go some Sundays and some weekends I frankly sleep in. I never post about it. (No one but God might give a darn and I am thinking God knows my heart). 

I think there is a fine/weird line between sharing a scripture that inspires you, inviting people to a coffee clatch/prayer group/bible study and taking pictures of you and the hubs praying or watching church....maybe just me. 

Thanks Jill for not taking the snotty noses into church to share the free after worship fellowship (free) food.

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3 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

They look like old smelly drug Addicts/zombie extras. I can smell them through the screen.

I think they look like they had a good night last night....and shouldn't be posting photo's in the AM....You gotta wash that fun off, YKWIM? 

A fun night (Is it fun for both of them? I hope) does not look like a movie scene in the AM. 

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Jill had her "5 minutes alone" in the car on Halloween, so evidently Derelict took the sick boys into either Chipotle or Krispy Kreme (or both). Point being, the boys didn't spend the entire food crawl in the car.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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3 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jill had her "5 minutes alone" in the car on Halloween, so evidently Derelict took the sick boys into either Chipotle or Krispy Kreme. Point being, the boys didn't spend the entire food crawl in the car.

Point taken! Shown up again 🙂 . Sew Sumi you are always pretty spot on....I am trying to see all sides and be fair. 

I know parents work and if you keep kids home for every runny nose you'd lose your job...but wait...JOB? They should have stayed in the car or at home because they have nowhere they HAVE to be. I was fortunate that I didn't have to send my kids to daycare or school sick but many parents have NO choice so I get the anger. 

I did after my kids were grown have a corporate job where being out without notice was LITERALLY (in the real, not fundy sense) punished and it was the worst environment ever. I did attend meeting where I had projectile vomited in the restroom just moments before. I was in management and had to write up employees for calling out. The day an employee was in an accident, took a cab because her car was left on the side of the road totaled and had glass in her hair and blood on her clothing and came to work and was supposed to write her up was the day I left. 

Went back to school and changed careers....best move ever but not everyone has that choice. 

Anyway...keep those snotty noses in the car or on your property and buy some Lysol

Edited by annakate
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28 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jill had her "5 minutes alone" in the car on Halloween, so evidently Derelict took the sick boys into either Chipotle or Krispy Kreme (or both). Point being, the boys didn't spend the entire food crawl in the car.

No clue what the temperature was there, but if it warranted heat on in the car, cold to warm, warm to cold, and so on, didn’t help. IMO, of course.

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