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Jill & Derick Dullard: Counting On (Donations)

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From the Starcasm article:

 

"She’s (Mullet) also prepared a “little bridal package” of things that will help Jill on her honeymoon, although she admitted “Jill is very understanding of a lot of things because she’s a midwife and she’s helped a lot of mothers.”

 

What kinds of "things" do you think were included in the bridal package?

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From the Starcasm article:

 

"She’s (Mullet) also prepared a “little bridal package” of things that will help Jill on her honeymoon, although she admitted “Jill is very understanding of a lot of things because she’s a midwife and she’s helped a lot of mothers.”

 

What kinds of "things" do you think were included in the bridal package?

An ovulation calendar for the wall of her hotel room?

Edited by JennyMominFL
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It's a nice dress, but it's very matronly. The dress is for a woman in her 40s. The ruching and draping across the stomach are meant to hide a pregnancy or a belly. It's not what I would have picked for her. Hopefully her reception dress with be a little more youthful.

I've seen ruching on a lot of brides, none of whom were trying to hide a pregnancy or belly.  It's purely ornamental and it adds a nice visual element to the gown.  I think she looks very youthful.  It's nice to see more brides moving away from strapless, a trend that has lasted way, way too long.

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What kinds of "things" do you think were included in the bridal package?

I'm afraid to read the answer.

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It's nice to see more brides moving away from strapless, a trend that has lasted way, way too long.

Agreed. 

 

What kinds of "things" do you think were included in the bridal package?

Honestly, A pamphlet that tells about UTI's. LOL I really could have used that when I lost my virginity! Go pee after sex! Sorry TMI

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Agreed. 

Honestly, A pamphlet that tells about UTI's. LOL I really could have used that when I lost my virginity! Go pee after sex! Sorry TMI

That is incredibly good information! I hope that was part of Michelle's special honeymoon package, but somehow I doubt it.

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Congrats to Jill and Derick! I think she looks stunning. Love the dress, love the peach accents, love the light gray suit!

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Are they having a full fledged dinner reception or is it more like the Bates and Josh/Anna -- a few appetizers, candy, cake and you're out of there? I think fundie receptions are shorter than most since there is no dancing and often no sit down dinner, though not sure what Jill/Derick are doing since their rehearsal seemed to have actual food -- it would be odd to feed people the night before but not at the wedding itself.

 

I know I've heard from couples who've waited until marriage that it was better for them to be done the wedding/reception by late afternoon/early evening because that gave them a long time in the hotel to start trying to consummate. Some do that night, some don't for a few days or weeks, but it's better if you're not showing up at the hotel at 10 pm exhausted and then wondering if you should or should not try that night. It's possible that Jill planned the timing this way for a reason.

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Jill looks absolutely gorgeous, and most importantly, she looks happy.  Those sleeves, however, I hope everyone made it through the wedding OK, that some major defrauding going on there.

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The article linked above with their wedding photo says that his mom was able to attend the wedding, and he did a little tribute to her at the reception.  Yeah. . . can't find anything to snark on there.

 

I've never heard of a "Reception Dress"!?!

 

 

Nor had I until I started watching Say Yes to the Dress.  Oh the things you learn on that show.  Mostly about how shallow, self-centered and self-deluded people are.

 

It's nice to see more brides moving away from strapless, a trend that has lasted way, way too long.

 

 

 

Another phenomenon I think we can credit to SYTTD.  At the very least they have prolonged it.

 

I've seen ruching on a lot of brides, none of whom were trying to hide a pregnancy or belly.  It's purely ornamental and it adds a nice visual element to the gown.

 

 

I agree.  The satin breaks up the lace.  I'm not a huge fan of dresses that are only lace, so I like it.

 

It's modest but still modern looking. 

 

 

I think we largely have Kate Middleton to thank for this (and the return to sleeves).  And I couldn't love her more for it.

 

a few appetizers, candy, cake and you're out of there? I think fundie receptions are shorter than most since there is no dancing and often no sit down dinner, though not sure what Jill/Derick are doing since their rehearsal seemed to have actual food -- it would be odd to feed people the night before but not at the wedding itself.

 

 

I'm not sure the reception instead of a dinner thing has to do with being "fundie" necessarily.  I live in the middle part of the country and I don't think I've EVER been to a wedding with a full dinner.  At most you get appetizer finger food kind of things.  I really think it comes more down to money than anything else.  Wedding dinners end up being a good part of the cost of an expensive wedding.  Or maybe it's just a regional thing, I don't know.

 

As for the dinner the night before, again in my region of the country it's traditional for there to be a "rehearsal dinner" for the bridal party, parents, and other relatives.  Traditionally it's hosted and paid for by the parents of the groom (their one major contribution to the wedding, at least traditionally).  So that doesn't seem strange to me at all.  It's usually held after the reception.  Is it different in other parts of the country?  I thought that was pretty standard, but I don't know.

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Why do you suppose Michelle thinks Jill's midwife training makes her better prepared for her wedding night? I guess I understand that she at least knows about anatomy, but geez.

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From the Starcasm article:

 

"She’s (Mullet) also prepared a “little bridal package” of things that will help Jill on her honeymoon, although she admitted “Jill is very understanding of a lot of things because she’s a midwife and she’s helped a lot of mothers.”

 

What kinds of "things" do you think were included in the bridal package?

I just assume that's code for "pads in case she bleeds." 

 

God I hope that's all it is. 

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Middle of the afternoon service so there is no expectation of a sit down meal.  It will be finger food of some kind in the church social hall.  The guests won't be insulted because that's what they'll expect and what they'll do at their weddings or the weddings of their children.  It's the norm in their culture.  It was the norm where I grew up.  I went to the wedding of the daughter of one of the two wealthiest men in town.  The reception was held at a hotel instead of the church social hall and it was still finger sandwiches, nuts, mints, wedding cake, and punch.  So their big departure from normal was a couple more bridesmaids, fancier dress for her, the hotel conference room, and better quality finger sandwiches.  :) 

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Congratulations to Derrick & Jill!

Spend alot of time with Cathy, just in case (and it gets them away from Michelle). Sending out my prayers for her & her family.

The dress & colors are beautiful.

Good luck and have fun tonight!

Edited by roamyn

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@Rhondinella- KM only wore sleeves because she had to in order to get married in whatever church the royal family is obligated to be a member of. What I found hilarious about the frenzy over her dress was the fact it was practically the same dress my mom wore over 40 years ago to her own wedding (even had lace sleeves!). My mom told me she was ahead of her time. ;-) 

 

On-topic, congrats to Jerrick. Here's to many happy years! 

 

ETA: Count me in on loving Jill's dress! Very pretty and modern. :-)

Edited by PinkSprinkles
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Ugh, I don't know or really even want to think about what kind of "care package" Michelle would put together for Jill. I really can't even believe she said those things in an interview. GROSS. And the stuff about being "joyfully available", I'm putting in the long list of things that lots of people think are good ideas for a variety of reasons, but JB & M somehow make way weirder and creepier. It's not bad marital advice to suggest putting one's spouse's needs above one's own, which for many women does mean getting busy when she's not particularly interested (It was worded in one of our pre-marital counseling books: "Why would you deny him something that takes so little time and makes him so happy?!"), but then they have to take it to the creepy extremes. Ditto modesty, purity before marriage, being debt-free, on and on.

 

On a happier note, Jill's dress is beautiful. I love that she found something modern but modest.

 

Regarding the strapless thing, I thought we were getting beyond the awful strapless trend, but I was just at David's Bridal trying on bridesmaid's dresses for my sister's wedding and all the styles but about 4 were strapless. Fantastic.  I've never heard of a reception dress but am also marginally disturbed. I'm looking forward to the day when the general public returns to spending less on a wedding than many middle-class people make in a year.

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I just assume that's code for "pads in case she bleeds." 

 

God I hope that's all it is. 

 

Didn't all the J'Slaves already go horseback riding ?????

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Congratulations to Jill and Derrick. It looks like a happy time for them and I wish them well.

 

I like the style of the dress and prefer it to the strapless every-dress trend. However, I don't think it fits well on the top. The shoulder straps look a bit long and the waist not cinched enough, but it's difficult to tell from one photo. The bottom of the dress and the length look perfect. I hope JimBob let his daughter have the dress of her choice.

 

I also hope Derrick's mother can be a part of their lives. She seems nice and a good influence on the young, sheltered Jill. It would be wonderful if this couple can explore the possibilities in their lives and not just pump out a hoard of single-letter-named children to fulfill expectations. 

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In a lot of old movies from my childhood, the bride often changed into a 'travel dress' during the reception so that they could leave straight from there instead of going back to the house to change.  My son's bride changed into a dress between the pictures and the dinner for the same reason.

 

Haven't read the full people article yet, just saw some pictures.  Jill's dress was a lot prettier than I expected, and I am glad she didn't feel the need to have long sleeve, and/or a jacket (since they multi-layer everything).   Hope that Derick's Mom has a curable form of cancer and that this is a bump in the road.  Maybe Jill will get to spend some quality time with her while she is in treatment.

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I grew up in a New England Catholic family so most of the weddings I've been to feature the whole shebang: full Mass, ceremony, cocktail hour, crapton of booze, sitdown dinner. Personally I think it's much smarter to go with a scaled-down reception. Why pay thirty grand to feed a bunch of second cousins you haven't seen in ten years?

However I think if you go the light reception route your wedding registry should follow suit.

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Hee!  Now I must read this book.

 

It's from Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. It's written from a Christian perspective but I do think it has lots of good points even for those who might want to skip those parts. The basic concept is that women need love, men need respect, and wives act disrespectful when they feel unloved, and husbands the other way around. Then he has an acronym for the areas in which wives need love and husbands need respect, the last one for the husbands is sex, and that line is right at the beginning of the chapter, a newly married wife talking to her mom about her husband being in a snit and the mom asked why and the wife said because they haven't had sex in a week, and the mom says the above line. :)

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Nor had I until I started watching Say Yes to the Dress.  Oh the things you learn on that show.  Mostly about how shallow, self-centered and self-deluded people are.

 

 I went to weddings 20 years ago where the bride changed into a reception dress. But it wasn't a second wedding dress. It was a more casual dress, like something you'd get at white house/black market. Princess culture is probably what made it into a second wedding dress. 

 

I only ever saw it in the south though, my East Coast family all wore their wedding dresses to the reception.

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"Why would you deny him something that takes so little time and makes him so happy?!"

May she never be a rape crisis volunteer or a victim advocate.

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I just assume that's code for "pads in case she bleeds." 

 

God I hope that's all it is. 

Holy crap!  If she bleeds so much after sex that she needs to wear a pad, they are doing something wrong. 

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Can't believe that nobody pointed out the obvious to Michelle.  A wife is not the "only one who can fulfill that special need."  The world is full of women who don't care if the guy is married or not, and if these horndogs think with their little heads, it could happen.  Oh, but it would be the wife's fault if their husband strayed.

 

Marriage is love and respect and sharing, not submission.  And as far as "keeping private things private", tell us why your grown daughter's track your menstural cycle and know so much about your sex life?

 

The wedding pics I've seen are beautiful.  I love her dress, not like that nightmare that Erin Bates had modified-looked like she wore a t-sirt under a wedding gown.  I think they will be happy together, but Derrick needs to get her away from the circus that is her family.

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May she never be a rape crisis volunteer or a victim advocate.

It was in the context of a happily married couple and by no means meant to imply that anyone was forcing themselves on anyone else. The wife just didn't "feel like it" and the mom's point was, it's important to him, you love him, encouraging her to "just do it" unless she had a good reason to abstain.

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I'm a Christian, and it bugs me how the Duggars elevate the twisted teaching of Gothard/Patriarchy over the Bible. Michelle tells Jill never to say no to her husband because he has "needs". But the Bible is more nuanced. The New Testament says:  "The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs." It goes on to say:  "Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer." (New Living Translation)

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I'm looking forward to the day when the general public returns to spending less on a wedding than many middle-class people make in a year.

 

I hate those overdone functions, so my wedding had about a dozen guests all told, followed by a sheet cake and a barbeque in a relative's back yard.

 

Didn't all the J'Slaves already go horseback riding ?????

 

lol.  I've always wondered how that joke got started.  Probably from a line in a movie or something? 

 

Anyway, fundies like the Bate's or the Duggar's must not believe it or they'd never let their daughters anywhere near a horse.

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Are they having a full fledged dinner reception or is it more like the Bates and Josh/Anna -- a few appetizers, candy, cake and you're out of there? I think fundie receptions are shorter than most since there is no dancing and often no sit down dinner, though not sure what Jill/Derick are doing since their rehearsal seemed to have actual food -- it would be odd to feed people the night before but not at the wedding itself.

 

I know I've heard from couples who've waited until marriage that it was better for them to be done the wedding/reception by late afternoon/early evening because that gave them a long time in the hotel to start trying to consummate. Some do that night, some don't for a few days or weeks, but it's better if you're not showing up at the hotel at 10 pm exhausted and then wondering if you should or should not try that night. It's possible that Jill planned the timing this way for a reason.

They could always wake up bright and early the next morning and try then:) Mornings can be good.

 

Seriously, they have the rest of their lives for sex, no need to worry about it.

The article linked above with their wedding photo says that his mom was able to attend the wedding, and he did a little tribute to her at the reception.  Yeah. . . can't find anything to snark on there.

 

 

Nor had I until I started watching Say Yes to the Dress.  Oh the things you learn on that show.  Mostly about how shallow, self-centered and self-deluded people are.

 

 

Another phenomenon I think we can credit to SYTTD.  At the very least they have prolonged it.

 

 

I agree.  The satin breaks up the lace.  I'm not a huge fan of dresses that are only lace, so I like it.

 

 

I think we largely have Kate Middleton to thank for this (and the return to sleeves).  And I couldn't love her more for it.

 

 

I'm not sure the reception instead of a dinner thing has to do with being "fundie" necessarily.  I live in the middle part of the country and I don't think I've EVER been to a wedding with a full dinner.  At most you get appetizer finger food kind of things.  I really think it comes more down to money than anything else.  Wedding dinners end up being a good part of the cost of an expensive wedding.  Or maybe it's just a regional thing, I don't know.

 

As for the dinner the night before, again in my region of the country it's traditional for there to be a "rehearsal dinner" for the bridal party, parents, and other relatives.  Traditionally it's hosted and paid for by the parents of the groom (their one major contribution to the wedding, at least traditionally).  So that doesn't seem strange to me at all.  It's usually held after the reception.  Is it different in other parts of the country?  I thought that was pretty standard, but I don't know.

My parents were married in the 50's in Michigan, had very little money, and had a full brunch and dinner at their wedding. My mom saved and put everything she had into it - once in a lifetime! And they are still married today.

 

I don't know about reception dresses, but I know "going away" dresses/outfits have been popular for many, many years. Women in retirement homes will tell you all about theirs!

Ugh, I don't know or really even want to think about what kind of "care package" Michelle would put together for Jill. I really can't even believe she said those things in an interview. GROSS. And the stuff about being "joyfully available", I'm putting in the long list of things that lots of people think are good ideas for a variety of reasons, but JB & M somehow make way weirder and creepier. It's not bad marital advice to suggest putting one's spouse's needs above one's own, which for many women does mean getting busy when she's not particularly interested (It was worded in one of our pre-marital counseling books: "Why would you deny him something that takes so little time and makes him so happy?!"), but then they have to take it to the creepy extremes. Ditto modesty, purity before marriage, being debt-free, on and on.

 

 

I don't know - if you know what you're doing, it can take quite some time! I do find the whole tone of all that "advice" to be creepy. I like my partner to be as into sex as I am, or it's not fun for me. And both men and women can take care of things themselves if their partner is not in the mood. Maybe someone bought Jill a "back massager" from Walmart?

Edited by DangerousMinds

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I can't believe how pretty Jill's wedding dress was. Derrick looked really nice in the gray suit and I liked the flowers. Sorry to hear about his mom. That's so sad. 

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Nor had I until I started watching Say Yes to the Dress.  Oh the things you learn on that show.  Mostly about how shallow, self-centered and self-deluded people are.

 

I really do think this is where the whole "two dresses for a wedding" thing became so overblown. I'd heard of it before, and also the 'going away' dress, but never to the extreme of two full on wedding gowns.  The only time I've seen it the second dress was more "slinky party girl" dress that was less elaborate than your average prom dress these days, and I can't imagine Jill going for that. I'd have been shocked if Jill had two dresses - seems she didn't.

 

I thought her dress was gorgeous, and I'm happy for her and Derick! It might not be my style but I thought it looked good on her and not nearly as 'covered up' as it might have been.

 

That's a lot of guests!  That would freak me out, I think, but they looked happy. Derick looked tired but who wouldn't with all that stress?  Sick Mom, wedding prep, etc.  I'm so glad his Mom was able to attend and I hope she recovers, the sooner the better.

Edited by NikSac

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from MSN.com: http://www.breathecast.com/articles/jill-duggar-wedding-date-arrives-latest-news-jill-duggar-and-derrick-dillard-unorthodox-wedding-shower-pounding-party-16514/

19 Kids and Counting star Jill Duggar and Fiance Derrick Dillard's wedding is tomorrow, June 21. All are excited to have the two finally say their vows to each other.

Recently, the engaged couple had their wedding shower or rather a "pounding party," which is a type of wedding shower in which participants bring things to stock the cupboards instead of other presents. The couple shared their fun moments with the public through the photos posted on Instagram.

According to Christianpost.com, "The party traces its roots back to the Quaker tradition of giving newlyweds pounds of flour, sugar, and other necessities to stock a pantry. Of course, other presents may be given, but the pounding party is exclusively meant to fill cupboards so the couple is well-equipped after saying 'I do."

"Our sweet friends gave us a 'pounding' today! Can't wait to marry my best friend!" Duggar posted, along with a picture on Instagram.

They also had an interesting registry, despite beliefs that were under the impression that it was to be a very humble and practical list. The list included Raisin Bran, Froot Loops, Hershey's Cookies 'n' Creme, Berry Colossal Crunch, and Fruity Dyno-Bites. Also included were Instant Noodles and gift cards to restaurants.

For the home improvement department, the two asked for tools (pliers, screwdrivers, a hammer, a drill), cleaning supplies (a dustpan, a toilet brush, a bucket), and other miscellaneous items (a tape measure, WD-40, neon duct tape).

Duggar and Dillard, both 25, got engaged this year.

"When my dad first introduced Derick and I [remotely], we spent hours texting, calling, and talking on Skype while 8,000 miles away from each other. When we finally met in person, we knew within days that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together...I love Derick's desire to follow God and to serve others. Derick is so romantic and the proposal was perfect," Duggar told ABC News.

Well, I guess that explains it a bit. I just had visions of their wedding gift table covered with boxes of cereal wrapped in fancy paper.

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OK, what is this 'back massager from Walmart' all about? 

 

I suspect it might be something like the thing this woman showed me one time.  It looked for all the world like a large penis, but also vibrated and had the ability to heat up, too.  It was weird, she seemed so excited to show this thing to me, and all I could do was look at it and wonder if it was an electronic dildo.  I looked at the box the 'thing' came in and it really did say massager, so I thought that maybe I was just being dirty minded.

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Well, it's the morning after for Jill and Derick. I hope they loved their wedding, and are experiencing newlywed bliss. Does anyone know if they'll get an actual honeymoon? I have this scary vision of a Duggar visit this morning. Howlers climbing in the bushes, kids everywhere running through their things, J'Chelle jealously looking for early signs of a Dill pregnancy, Smugger and Anna "showing them how married is done," and Boob's booming voice: "Well hello there Mr. And Mrs. Dillard. So how do you think it's going so far? Did this lead to sweet fellowship?"

Please, oh please let them have gotten away for some alone time.

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I saw a picture on the Duggar Pickle's FB page were peeps were invited over to the TTH for a "reception." It looks like they had a house filled with people just wearing jeans and t-shirts. Jana had an old t-shirt on.  I guess they did feed people just not at the church but had a home reception.

 

I'm reading Starcasm and they said the dress is from Allure Bridals . If you watched I Found The Dress this past Friday they featured a trip to Allure Bridals to pick up dresses for their shop. I have to wonder if it was a TLC tie in for free advertisement?

Edited by Fuzzysox

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It has been laid upon my heart to commend everyone for their positivity towards Jill and Derrick's nuptials. Yes, this family does many snarkworthy things, but I'm glad it could be set aside to celebrate two people coming together. I have also loved hearing everyone's wedding memories. Kudos!

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Care package:  lubricant (if needed!)

But lubricant would make it feel good, and they aren't allowed to have sex for pleasure! LOL

 

I think Jill's dress is really pretty, and I think they make a nice looking couple--they seem to have a genuine affection for each other from the little I've seen of them. Even though she is giggly and he is nervous on camera, I think it would be terribly awkward to be going through all that on camera. 

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May she never be a rape crisis volunteer or a victim advocate.

I've had sex with my husband plenty of times when I didn't feel like it. To compare that to rape is to not take real rape seriously. That's dangerous.

 

However I think if you go the light reception route your wedding registry should follow suit.

 

Does that mean if I go all out on my daughter's reception meal she should register for very expensive stuff?

Edited by psychnurse
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An article from People with reception details:

 

"I'm so grateful to all the volunteers who helped put everything together for the wedding," Michelle tells PEOPLE. "Everyone has worked hard and done an amazing job."

 

Part of that job included making more than 600 cupcakes, 3,000 chocolate-chip cookies and 3,000 root-beer floats for guests to enjoy.

 

Tables divided into sweet and salty snacks were set up around the grounds of the Cross Church, where the bride and groom said their "I Dos" and guests formed a long, winding line to have a chance to wish the new couple well in their marriage.

 

 

Dillard's father, Rick, died in 2008, and his mother, Cathy, who is battling cancer, came to the wedding directly from the hospital.

 

 

And a new photo:

 

duggar-reception-2-768.jpg

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He's almost touching her BOOB!

Seriously, though, that's a cute picture.

 

Anyone who has ever had a receiving line in a normal wedding can imagine how god awful it must have been for them to greet 2000 guests (even if was half the amount that greeted them, it would be hell).

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His mother had to come directly from the hospital? Poor woman. I hope the cameras weren't in her face and that the crowd wasn't overwhelming.

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Well, it's the morning after.... Too tacky to get a start on the "How soon will they be EXPECTING" pool? Ah,who cares if it's tacky. I'll go with a May 2015 baby, so I expect an announcement around Thanksgiving.

But seriously, I'm happy for them. I also love the colors, Derek's suit, & think Jill looked beautiful.

How fast do you think TLC will throw together a VSE of the wedding? I can't imagine them waiting for a new season to show it.

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My mother was not able to attend my sister's wedding. Her heart doctor absolutely refused to release her for several hours. So we all traipsed up to the cardiac care unit after the wedding & before the reception so she could see everyone in their dresses & tuxes.

As the marriage didn't last & she was only w/us a few more years, I'm glad he put his foot down.

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Aethera

If your post is not PRIMARILY about the Duggars, it will be removed. Please stick to the topic or take it to Small Talk, thank you.

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