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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


Message added by Scarlett45

The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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14 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

why wouldn’t all teachers require students to turn off their phones during class? I just don’t understand it. Thank you for being a great teacher! Even though I didn't like you at the beginning of the year, now I understand why you push your students as hard as you do.

Fixed it for you. :) 

Thank you for the appreciation - it means a lot!


Re: phones/students/classrooms: Looooong story short, there is no federal or state law (I'm in CA) that mandates students turn their phones off during the day. Just as some teachers are strict about legible handwriting or other classroom procedures, the cell phone issue varies from teacher to teacher. I HATE IT! SO MUCH!

The only reason cell phones are allowed on any school campus is that a federal law was passed after the Columbine HS tragedy. Intended to allow students to dial 911 (to assist with potential tragedies if need be) and/or to make reunification easier for students with their parents/guardians after an incident, it's now a pain in my arse for obvious reasons. 

On topic: at least Bin won't have to worry about cell phone confiscations among his pupils.

 

Edited by Bridget
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@Bridget:  I admire you so much for being able to teach 8th grade English.  I taught kindergarten for 18 years, preK for a year, 1st for 2.5 years and small group literacy K-1 for 6 years.      Phones were not really a problem in those grades, except when a parent left the phone in their child’s backpack.  
One of my biggest problems was parents who would actually do their child’s homework for them (this would not be a problem in the TTH school, I would think).  They think I would not be able to recognize the handwriting.    I would tell them that if the child was not able to finish the work just write me a note, and they could finish it another time.  One mom would let her son dictate the spelling sentences to her, she would write them down, and he would copy them.

My most precious gifts were the heartfelt notes from parents.  One was from a parent whose kindergarten daughter had recently immigrated to the US and he apologized that she didn’t attend school on her birthday.  He promised she would never be absent on her birthday again.  I was honored to attend this sweet girl’s wedding.  

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15 hours ago, marypat57 said:

One of my biggest problems was parents who would actually do their child’s homework for them (this would not be a problem in the TTH school, I would think).  They think I would not be able to recognize the handwriting.    I would tell them that if the child was not able to finish the work just write me a note, and they could finish it another time.  One mom would let her son dictate the spelling sentences to her, she would write them down, and he would copy them.

I'm guilty of this. My sons had a math teacher for 6-8 who could not teach math to anyone who didn't intuitively understand it. He would lecture for an hour and give the students their daily work as homework. My boys would come home five days a week with a math assignment that had 40-60 problems. The first week I spent 2 hours every night helping w/o doing it myself only to get through 10-20 problems and they'd get an F. Talking to the teacher didn't help, so for 3 years I walked them through all but 2-4 problems in each section showing them how to do it and giving them the correct steps and answers, except for the 10-15 they were required to do on their own. It took less than an hour and they learned enough to pass their chapter tests. 

Edited by Nysha
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39 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

So this is literally just Jessa saying 2 + 3= what? And Henry says 5. For like four minutes? I fast forwarded but that’s all I got. 

Well, sometimes Henry would state a math problem and Jessa would respond, "What do you think it is."

Great, so Henry is evidently like me when I was growing up. Speech and language delays and advanced math skills.

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46 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Oh, yeah, I do agree that he's probably better equipped than the alternative people in their house. However, I doubt very much that he can either answer the vast majority of potential questions or provide enrichment most of the time -- especially given that he is "educating" these kids through high school graduation. And working with a wide age range of kids all at the same time. 

What I object to when it comes to this story is not Bin's teaching the Duggarlings but what seems to me the widely held but dead wrong notion that somehow Bin is a person who's not just more suitable to teach kids than Meeeechelle or Jessa but suitable to teach kids out in the real world,  where there are other teachers. But I've seen ignorant, close-minded dumb-asses "teach." And it's not beneficial to their students.

To me, our society's devaluation of teaching is what makes many people think that utterly untrained fools of Bin's ilk are good people to do it if they appear to "like kids." And based on my experience teaching and what I've observed first-hand of other teachers, I very very strongly believe that that's not the case! 

So, yeah, for kids who have absolutely no semi-literate alternatives as a teacher K-12, then Bin will do, comparatively. He's preferable if a kid's other alternative is Meeechelle, as is the unfortunate case with the Duggars. 

However, when it comes to the idea that Bin would therefore also do well "teaching" at some school that could have hired somebody else, then I say "no." Bin's not equipped to be a teacher unless there's no alternative. Nor is anybody like him, in my opinion! (which is not to say that teachers of his ilk don't exist -- they do. But I don;'t think we should countenance that for our children, frankly!)

We should get a better grasp of what teaching requires -- and it's a lot. Plenty of well educated, very bright people also are crap at it. They shouldn't be doing it any more than Bin should (Like your son's "teacher," @Nysha, who could only teach math to people who already can do math without his help. I've worked with several of them, and they should absolutely not be in classrooms.)

We should respect teaching as one of the most important -- and difficult, multi-faceted-- things anybody can do in this world. And we should make every effort to get people who are good at it into classrooms and reward them and respect them sufficiently to get them to stay there. I think the survival of civilization may depend on that,  actually. 

So when I hear that Bin would be a great teacher because he seems to like playing on the floor with his kids, it makes me want to rip my face off in frustration, quite frankly.

 

Dear New Best Friend,

I applaud every word of this.

Love,

A Fellow Teacher

Edited by Bridget
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1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

We should respect teaching as one of the most important -- and difficult, multi-faceted-- things anybody can do in this world. And we should make every effort to get people who are good at it into classrooms and reward them and respect them sufficiently to get them to stay there. I think the survival of civilization may depend on that,  actually. 

100 times YES. 

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I don't know what to think about Henry's math video.   It seems quite often he responded with the answer after glancing to the side of the camera.   Was he being prompted with someone flashing the answer to him?   Unclear when dealing with a child of that age and their attention span.

What is good is that he clearly has some grasp of the idea of adding numbers to arrive at a sum because he demonstrated that by using his fingers as manipulatives to demonstrate the concept.    That's very respectable for a child of his age.   Whether it points to being particularly gifted, that is a good stretch of road away yet.   No matter what his gifts or deficits of learning may or may not be, I only hope that he has people he can look to to introduce, nurture, bolster and inspire boundless amounts of learning and knowledge of all sorts as he grows.

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55 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

No matter what his gifts or deficits of learning may or may not be, I only hope that he has people he can look to to introduce, nurture, bolster and inspire boundless amounts of learning and knowledge of all sorts as he grows.

Well we all know that's NOT going to happen!

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1 hour ago, Tikichick said:

I don't know what to think about Henry's math video.   It seems quite often he responded with the answer after glancing to the side of the camera.   Was he being prompted with someone flashing the answer to him?   Unclear when dealing with a child of that age and their attention span.

What is good is that he clearly has some grasp of the idea of adding numbers to arrive at a sum because he demonstrated that by using his fingers as manipulatives to demonstrate the concept.    That's very respectable for a child of his age.   Whether it points to being particularly gifted, that is a good stretch of road away yet.   No matter what his gifts or deficits of learning may or may not be, I only hope that he has people he can look to to introduce, nurture, bolster and inspire boundless amounts of learning and knowledge of all sorts as he grows.

He WON’T have those people, though. 😢

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1 hour ago, Tikichick said:

I don't know what to think about Henry's math video.   It seems quite often he responded with the answer after glancing to the side of the camera.   Was he being prompted with someone flashing the answer to him?   Unclear when dealing with a child of that age and their attention span.

What is good is that he clearly has some grasp of the idea of adding numbers to arrive at a sum because he demonstrated that by using his fingers as manipulatives to demonstrate the concept.    That's very respectable for a child of his age.   Whether it points to being particularly gifted, that is a good stretch of road away yet.   No matter what his gifts or deficits of learning may or may not be, I only hope that he has people he can look to to introduce, nurture, bolster and inspire boundless amounts of learning and knowledge of all sorts as he grows.

He’s in line to follow in his dads footsteps, teaching and toilet scrubbing at TTH. I always wonder what the point of her bragging about her kids is when they have no use for those skills in their lives.

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21 minutes ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

I always wonder what the point of her bragging about her kids is when they have no use for those skills in their lives.

In my experience, the people who have the least to brag about are the most boastful, and I think that drives a lot of Jessa's social media content. I could be wrong, but I think Jessa is well aware that she's never going to be able to compete with Jill or Jinger on things to post about (kid doing math versus sending kid to school or living in L.A.), so this is how she tries (and fails) to be competitive, by pretending her kids are unusually precocious when they're not. 

Edited by Zella
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16 minutes ago, Zella said:

In my experience, the people who have the least to brag about are the most boastful, and I think that drives a lot of Jessa's social media content. I could be wrong, but I think Jessa is well aware that she's never going to be able to compete with Jill or Jinger on things to post about (kid doing math versus sending kid to school or living in L.A.), so this is how she tries (and fails) to be competitive, by pretending her kids are unusually precocious when they're not. 

I think Jessa still thinks she is the most special Duggar sister, with a very, very light poking, that she is not quite as special as she used to be. And I do think she thinks Spurge and Ivy, and sometimes Henry, are brighter than their peers, which is surprising to me because Anna's kids seem to be smarter than your average Duggar spawn, and who else does Jessa have to measure her kids to? I'd say her kids are average and Henry maybe a few months behind. 

I think, and I hope I'm wrong, but I do think the education and upbringing of Giddy and Evvie will most closely resemble the original Duggar 19, with Spurge, Henry and Ivy coming in a close second.

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3 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I think Jessa still thinks she is the most special Duggar sister, with a very, very light poking, that she is not quite as special as she used to be. And I do think she thinks Spurge and Ivy, and sometimes Henry, are brighter than their peers, which is surprising to me because Anna's kids seem to be smarter than your average Duggar spawn, and who else does Jessa have to measure her kids to?

Yes I think Jessa still clings to her teenage reputation as "the Hot Duggar," which I always found a little bizarre because I don't think she was the most attractive of the girls. But she definitely seemed to be treated that way and acted accordingly! And she tries to continue this legacy by trying to make her kids seem more advanced. She seems to have really doubled-down on it as they age and she perhaps feels she can't use the "cute little kid" card. And that's really unfair to all of her kids. There's nothing wrong with being average! 

Edited by Zella
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1 hour ago, BigBingerBro said:

Well we all know that's NOT going to happen!

 

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

He WON’T have those people, though. 😢

 

1 hour ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

He’s in line to follow in his dads footsteps, teaching and toilet scrubbing at TTH. I always wonder what the point of her bragging about her kids is when they have no use for those skills in their lives.

Used to hold out hope for the Duggar offspring themselves.    I recognize that the ship has either sailed or drawn up the gangplank for the most part on that generation, so I keep hoping for any and every possibility for the next generation.   Even if I cannot appreciate the beliefs of his parents, the idea that Israel is actually attending a legitimate public school means he gets a much bigger and clearer lens to look at the world for himself.   That's much more than his mother and her siblings had.

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I honestly wondered if this video featuring Henry's math skills wasn't a little bit motivated by the fact that in some ways maybe he's always seemed a little lacking because of his lack of communication skills and the behavioral struggles that frequently accompany that obstacle for most kids.  I did notice Henry responded with a word or two when asked a question in the fall festival video and whatever his response was clear as day.   That has to be a relief for the parents and for Henry, finally being able to make himself understood without a bunch of upheaval and drama.   It is great they got him the assistance he needed to progress with his speech.  

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Well he's 3...I think his math in the video is pretty advanced for a 3 year old but it doesn't even matter. No matter how smart he is, it will go to waste because he'll never be allowed to do anything with those skills. 

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It;s all for clicks.  If he is a child prodigy, he will never get the resources or support to allow him to flourish.  I was quite a math whiz in Kindergarten and 1st grade, but then it went all downhill after that.  Math is still an issue.

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I think Jessa is getting the short end of the stick for sticking by JB and his "rules" so to speak. She has a shit 2 bedroom house with 3 kids and I'm sure more on the way. I would think if she was one of the favorites and following the rules, she'd have better. Jill somewhat breaks away and has a "nicer" house and Izzy is going to school and Jill seems happier. If I were Jessa, I'd run and get a house near Jill and put Spurge in the same school Izzy is in. Let him make some friends other than his siblings.

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I've said before that I think Henry doesn't speak because he doesn't want to, and to me, this video reiterated that. He was very squirmy and clearly didn't want to do it, even though he did as told. 

To me he's  a  cute, smart kid who will never succeed because of who his parents are.

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1 hour ago, Madtown said:

I think Jessa is getting the short end of the stick for sticking by JB and his "rules" so to speak. She has a shit 2 bedroom house with 3 kids and I'm sure more on the way. I would think if she was one of the favorites and following the rules, she'd have better. Jill somewhat breaks away and has a "nicer" house and Izzy is going to school and Jill seems happier. If I were Jessa, I'd run and get a house near Jill and put Spurge in the same school Izzy is in. Let him make some friends other than his siblings.

And maybe Bin and/or Jessa could get a real job and save for a new house if they want one. Just a thought.

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14 hours ago, Tikichick said:

I honestly wondered if this video featuring Henry's math skills wasn't a little bit motivated by the fact that in some ways maybe he's always seemed a little lacking because of his lack of communication skills and the behavioral struggles that frequently accompany that obstacle for most kids.  I did notice Henry responded with a word or two when asked a question in the fall festival video and whatever his response was clear as day.   That has to be a relief for the parents and for Henry, finally being able to make himself understood without a bunch of upheaval and drama.   It is great they got him the assistance he needed to progress with his speech.  

Henry is three and should be saying understandable sentences by now. I haven't seen that yet. I was unaware that Henry received help with his communication skills. Did they use the same Christian lady who said his delays weren't that significant?

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I wonder how many sessions with that supposed speech therapist Henry had? Somehow I think maybe it was the only two that were taped for tv. I think Henry might be doing more if he had regular speech therapy.

And had parents who were more invested in making sure he spoke.

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12 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

And maybe Bin and/or Jessa could get a real job and save for a new house if they want one. Just a thought.

I thought that too, but that would be "real life" and they can't have that! I would like to think if I grew up in that household and with all those siblings, I wouldn't want that as my adult life. I don't care how much money I would get from TV, I'd rather live in the real world and work for a living and have nothing to do with that lifestyle again. I know, easier said than done.

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2 hours ago, Madtown said:

I thought that too, but that would be "real life" and they can't have that! I would like to think if I grew up in that household and with all those siblings, I wouldn't want that as my adult life. I don't care how much money I would get from TV, I'd rather live in the real world and work for a living and have nothing to do with that lifestyle again. I know, easier said than done.

I think the honestly believe they are living in the real world and their live is just as difficult as anyone else. The have nothing to compare the way they live there lives. I am talking about the Duggars not the  ones married into the family. 

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15 hours ago, Madtown said:

I think Jessa is getting the short end of the stick for sticking by JB and his "rules" so to speak. She has a shit 2 bedroom house with 3 kids and I'm sure more on the way. I would think if she was one of the favorites and following the rules, she'd have better. Jill somewhat breaks away and has a "nicer" house and Izzy is going to school and Jill seems happier. If I were Jessa, I'd run and get a house near Jill and put Spurge in the same school Izzy is in. Let him make some friends other than his siblings.

Jill has all this because she has a husband who didn't want to be JB's bitch. Derrick also has a real education and had some life experience before getting married. And he grew up as a regular conservative Christian. Jessa may want a bigger house, but does she want to give up the Duggar lifestyle (quiverfull, homeschool, family jobs)?

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4 minutes ago, Future Cat Lady said:

Jessa may want a bigger house,

Or she may not care. Jessa is, at best, an indifferent housekeeper (and at her worst, she's a disgusting slob - those infamous diapers!) and she may not want a bigger space with more rooms to clean. Of course, in reality, a larger house would be easier to care for since you'd have space to store things and spread out, but I don't see Jessa having the critical thinking skills to see that.

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17 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

It;s all for clicks.  

This is what makes me doubt everything she does and really wonder about what kind of upbringing, not to mention education, those kids will get.

Being utterly driven by what gets clicks--as it appears Jessa may be--is hardly a recipe for thoughtful consideration or consistency in your actions. It means you're likely thinking as much about whether something will make a popular video as about whether it'll be the best thing for your kid. Not to mention that it teaches the kids that a major role they must play in life is being "on" for public consumption (by strangers) over and over and over and over and over again.

I don't like what that all adds up to. It seems that it could be even worse than growing up a TeeVee kid. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

This is what makes me doubt everything she does and really wonder about what kind of upbringing, not to mention education, those kids will get.

Being utterly driven by what gets clicks--as it appears Jessa may be--is hardly a recipe for thoughtful consideration or consistency in your actions. It means you're likely thinking as much about whether something will make a popular video as about whether it'll be the best thing for your kid. Not to mention that it teaches the kids that a major role they must play in life is being "on" for public consumption (by strangers) over and over and over and over and over again.

I don't like what that all adds up to. It seems that it could be even worse than growing up a TeeVee kid. 

I read a snippet of an article that quoted Joanna Gaines. She said something about waking up one day and realizing she spent far too much time seeing everything as an IG moment. I found this a little ironic because well before she was famous, she was living that way anyway.  Her homes have all been different shades of white. Her kids' rooms are decorated to please her, not her children, etc.

All this to say, Joanna G reached this (false) sense of clarity that I don't think Jessa is capable of reaching. And if Jessa did somehow stumble into this thought, much like Joanna, she wouldn't change a thing.

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Once again, my son had speech delays. After hearing Henry in the math video speak, I don't think he had any kind of real speech therapy for any amount of time. My son was speaking normally for his age by the time he was Henry's age. Not only are his sentences lacking but his pronunciation of simple words leaves a lot to be desired. He also has a lisp. Jessa and Ben should not shrug this off and assume he should spend more time playing with his cousins. Evidently that is not working. 

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More insular familes who don't communicate with others outside their immediate or slightly extended family do tend to develop similar speech patterns and accents.  Case in point being the Arndt family, who all seem to have a very unique accent which to an ouitsider might sound like a speech impediment.

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30 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

More insular familes who don't communicate with others outside their immediate or slightly extended family do tend to develop similar speech patterns and accents.  Case in point being the Arndt family, who all seem to have a very unique accent which to an ouitsider might sound like a speech impediment.

same is true with the Rodrigues family

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JillR talks as if everyone she's talking to is an infant. And other than their mom, the kids hear preachers and sweet fellowship, so it makes sense their speech is off. Sadly, their whole lives are like an SNL skit.

I wonder if when JillR is angry she flips a switch into a bellowing baritone.

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If Henry really does have a significant speech delay, at three, he is eligible for services through the public school system. In my district, students don’t need to be enrolled in any type of preschool program. Parents just call to request an evaluation, and if services are deemed necessary, the parents bring them to a local elementary for a half hour session a couple of times a week. Jill might want to drop that little bit of info into Jessa’s ear. 

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irisheyes: Our children received the same speech therapy services from the public school system. It did wonders for my son; he began to attend PreK-4 when he turned 3 years old in addition. He attended 3 days a week and received private speech therapy in that day; also before he turned 3; I took him to a private speech therapist, paid for by the school system during the summer before he turned 3. They did wonders for him. This was in a small town in Central Florida. Jessa lives an insulated life even though she is a 'TV star'. I'm sorry to Henry because he will miss out on so many positive experiences in life outside of this bubble.

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In most families the neediest person gets the most time and attention. In our house we used to say whoever wore diapers in the family was in charge, because temporarily they needed the most time and attention.

In Jessa's family, by her SM presence anyway, this does not seem to be the case. One might think because she shared Henry's speech delay on the show she would have posts regarding his progress and what they did to support him. But instead she puts a camera in Henry's face, while he obviously isn't fully interested, and has him perform his (almost unintelligible) math skills. Its great that Jessa (or Ben) is teaching him math, but if he knows 5 + 6 = 11, he should also be able to pronounce eleven. 

As you all mentioned above, the earlier the intervention, the less frustrating for the child and the best chance of a successful outcome.

Jessa could help Henry and help some of her followers if she got him help and shared Henry's successes.

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