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Chris Knight

The Seewalds: Benessa and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Name...and Henry & Ivy

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Have we heard any more talk about Jessa and Ben adopting more kids? I was watching a rerun of the early season of Counting On, and it was interesting to hear that both Jill and Jessa were talking about adopting kids, even with both were pregnant. It's now been about 3-4 years and I haven't heard any more about it unless I missed something. 

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4 minutes ago, CarolMK said:

Have we heard any more talk about Jessa and Ben adopting more kids? I was watching a rerun of the early season of Counting On, and it was interesting to hear that both Jill and Jessa were talking about adopting kids, even with both were pregnant. It's now been about 3-4 years and I haven't heard any more about it unless I missed something. 

They've all been talking about adoption off and on for years. Nothing ever happens. Adopting a child would require substantial effort (Attorney fees! Paperwork to fill out!), plus Gothard is very anti-adoption. I think it's just one of the "this will make me sound like a good person" clichés they keep rattling around in their heads for when they have nothing else to say.

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1 hour ago, Albanyguy said:

They've all been talking about adoption off and on for years. Nothing ever happens. Adopting a child would require substantial effort (Attorney fees! Paperwork to fill out!), plus Gothard is very anti-adoption. I think it's just one of the "this will make me sound like a good person" clichés they keep rattling around in their heads for when they have nothing else to say.

Yep. That's why Jessa and Ben ended up trotting out the storyline for the People cover because Jessa wasn't pregnant yet. It was painfully obvious they expected Jessa to get pregnant just as quickly as Jill when they did that interview for People.

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Jill has 1.6 million followers on her Instagram, that's her social media career. She sucks at it, but for people who are willing to work there is good money to be made. My grandson watches YouTube videos of a little boy named Ryan opening presents and going to different themes parks. I read an article last spring and in the 2-3 years his family has been doing this they've made over $3 million!

Edited by Nysha
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8 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

I think Jessa is simply thrifty.  Jinger is being lauded in her thread for wearing a one hundred dollar blouse, and all I can think of is why does she need such expensive clothing.  I've never understood why that's seen as admirable. 

I have a feeling that her husband is behind this. He wants her to look very good as his wife...a future Minister’s wife and helpful co-leader of a congregation. Jeremy takes care in his appearance and knows that some people judge you by how you look. 

You can get hundred dollar blouses at a thrift store inexpensively. I know of a good one near me that does a whole room with designers and high end labels. You can get a $500 outfit for $30. 

Edited by Mindthinkr · Reason: Never mind
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8 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I have a feeling that her husband is behind this. He wants her to look very good as his wife...a future Minister’s wife and helpful co-leader of a congregation. Jeremy takes care in his appearance and knows that some people judge you by how you look. 

You can get hundred dollar blouses at a thrift store inexpensively. I know of a good one near me that does a whole room with designers and high end labels. You can get a $500 outfit for $30. 

There is a resale shop near my home that only accepts higher end clothes, shoes and accessories that have to be in style. You can easily buy something nice for $20. 

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The best part of the resale shops in my area are who benefits from their profits. A domestic violence women’s shelter and a pet rescue. 

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5 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

There is a resale shop near my home that only accepts higher end clothes, shoes and accessories that have to be in style. You can easily buy something nice for $20. 

It's not that tough to find end-of-season sales, even at Brooks Brothers, where new things are half price.  I get a lot of my professional wardrobe that way, what I don't get from Target, that is.  The shirt that Jinger appears to be wearing in the most recent photo looks like one that is currently on clearance for $49.  Not cheap, but not $100, either.

Jessa could dress a lot better than she does, it doesn't take a lot of money to find things that fit well and look nice.  She could easily do it if she wanted, she apparently doesn't want to do it.

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28 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Jill has 1.6 million followers on her Instagram, that's her social media career. She sucks at it, but for people who are willing to work there is good money to be made. My grandson watches YouTube videos of a little boy named Ryan opening presents and going to different themes parks. I read an article last spring and in the 2-3 years his family has been doing this they've made over $3 million!

There are tons of people who make a shitload of money posting pics of their outfits on social media, or of themselves eating, or equally frivolous crap. It boggles my mind, truly. I think a large part of it is really luck, but I also think some people are more skilled at attracting followers and have a knack for photography and trends and actively work at honing their skills over time. Another key thing is that they keep in mind what their viewer want to see. Jill doesn't seem to care to do this, so her "career" will never be as big as it could be.

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I dressed my youngest in name brands very inexpensively from thrift stores, resale stores, and outlet stores. Jinger may be doing the same thing, but even if she's not, her sisters could easily copy her more stylish look and still not spend much more than what they're spending now.

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23 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

It's not that tough to find end-of-season sales, even at Brooks Brothers, where new things are half price.  I get a lot of my professional wardrobe that way, what I don't get from Target, that is.  The shirt that Jinger appears to be wearing in the most recent photo looks like one that is currently on clearance for $49.  Not cheap, but not $100, either.

Jessa could dress a lot better than she does, it doesn't take a lot of money to find things that fit well and look nice.  She could easily do it if she wanted, she apparently doesn't want to do it.

One of my old bosses is incredibly fashionable.  I was shocked when I spoke to one of our mutual friends and she said that she gets a lot of her wardrobe at Ross and Macy's and doesn't spend a lot.  Macy's does have expensive clothes but they also have ridiculously good sales.  You just have to have a good eye and sense for fashion.  Plus TIME to sort through it all to get a gem.

Edited by Natalie68
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I agree, graefin. YouTube and Instagram can be lucrative mediums for people with sizable followings, but I think the Duggar girls underestimate how much time and effort goes into creating and editing content. 

Edited by BitterApple
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51 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I dressed my youngest in name brands very inexpensively from thrift stores, resale stores, and outlet stores. Jinger may be doing the same thing, but even if she's not, her sisters could easily copy her more stylish look and still not spend much more than what they're spending now.

I see there is a Tanger outlet in Laredo. It's possible they get better prices there, and Tangers often have a lot of coupons and special offers, too. Still, I doubt they would be able to afford much from there if not for TLC, being a small-church minister whose wife doesn't work. 

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2 hours ago, Nysha said:

Jill has 1.6 million followers on her Instagram, that's her social media career. She sucks at it, but for people who are willing to work there is good money to be made. My grandson watches YouTube videos of a little boy named Ryan opening presents and going to different themes parks. I read an article last spring and in the 2-3 years his family has been doing this they've made over $3 million!

Jill could make a lot of money if she had a clue. 

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2 hours ago, Nysha said:

Jill has 1.6 million followers on her Instagram, that's her social media career. She sucks at it, but for people who are willing to work there is good money to be made. My grandson watches YouTube videos of a little boy named Ryan opening presents and going to different themes parks. I read an article last spring and in the 2-3 years his family has been doing this they've made over $3 million!

Yay to another family exploiting their child for $$?

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6 hours ago, graefin said:

There are tons of people who make a shitload of money posting pics of their outfits on social media, or of themselves eating, or equally frivolous crap. It boggles my mind, truly. I think a large part of it is really luck, but I also think some people are more skilled at attracting followers and have a knack for photography and trends and actively work at honing their skills over time. Another key thing is that they keep in mind what their viewer want to see. Jill doesn't seem to care to do this, so her "career" will never be as big as it could be.

A huge part of it is the person's appearance. While "hustle" is definitely part of it, looks pretty much set the stage for everything else. Photography skill is quite unnecessary, and even then, the person doesn't even handle that themselves. Jill is nowhere near attractive enough to have success as an Instagram model, but she fortunately already has a high follower count from being on TV. There are so many sponsorships she could get, since anybody with a hint of e-notoriety usually promotes the same types of products. (hair/nail vitamin gummies, weight loss tea, FabFitFun subscription boxes) I imagine most of those products are inherently sinful in her mind, so perhaps not. The Duggars have been conditioned for their whole lives to not be their own person and to serve everyone else, but it's still frustrating that Jill is no longer part of the show and yet seemingly has no desire to carve out her own 'brand' online, when it could be quite lucrative to do so. I would argue that she's so boring, it wouldn't work, but there are still a million plus people tuning into the dull shitshow after all these years (including myself) so there is an audience for...whatever she does.

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1 hour ago, Neet said:

A huge part of it is the person's appearance. While "hustle" is definitely part of it, looks pretty much set the stage for everything else. Photography skill is quite unnecessary, and even then, the person doesn't even handle that themselves. Jill is nowhere near attractive enough to have success as an Instagram model, but she fortunately already has a high follower count from being on TV. There are so many sponsorships she could get, since anybody with a hint of e-notoriety usually promotes the same types of products. (hair/nail vitamin gummies, weight loss tea, FabFitFun subscription boxes) I imagine most of those products are inherently sinful in her mind, so perhaps not. The Duggars have been conditioned for their whole lives to not be their own person and to serve everyone else, but it's still frustrating that Jill is no longer part of the show and yet seemingly has no desire to carve out her own 'brand' online, when it could be quite lucrative to do so. I would argue that she's so boring, it wouldn't work, but there are still a million plus people tuning into the dull shitshow after all these years (including myself) so there is an audience for...whatever she does.

The Ashley Madison adultery dating website has an affiliate program.  Jill could make money by touting this as the dating site used by her brother.

Counting On 3.jpg

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19 minutes ago, Mollie said:

The Ashley Madison adultery dating website has an affiliate program.  Jill could make money by touting this as the dating site used by her brother.

Counting On 3.jpg

It seems people use the "They were conditioned that way! Poor things were completely molded by their environment" reasoning for the Duggar girls on occasion, yet I've never seen anyone use it for Josh. I'm not defending him, since it would require growing up in or around that family to make an accurate conclusion (watching their show/reading articles does not suffice). So why doesn't the reasoning work for Josh?

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7 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

There were actually some folks here who brought up Josh's upbringing in why he did what he did. Not to the extent of "poor thing," but it was definitely discussed in the aftermath of the scandal(s).

That said, I can't think of anything the Duggar girls have done that in any way equates to what Josh has done, so I don't think the comparison is warranted.

It's quite likely that there are a lot of things that happened in the past that haven't been revealed, possibly Jim Bob and Michelle don't even know about them. Having so many kids grow up pretty much isolated from everyone else their own age, it seems like problems would be inevitable. Also to think only one person out of the whole family could've turned out "evil" is a bit of a stretch. I think they had their first TV special in 2004 or somewhere around there, then got the show in 2008 - after such a long time, it's hard to imagine that what we see on TV isn't the whole story or could even be a total farce.

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10 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

It's quite likely that there are a lot of things that happened in the past that haven't been revealed, possibly Jim Bob and Michelle don't even know about them. Having so many kids grow up pretty much isolated from everyone else their own age, it seems like problems would be inevitable. Also to think only one person out of the whole family could've turned out "evil" is a bit of a stretch. I think they had their first TV special in 2004 or somewhere around there, then got the show in 2008 - after such a long time, it's hard to imagine that what we see on TV isn't the whole story or could even be a total farce.

And the show is edited.  It would be more accurate - but would never happen - if TLC set up cameras in certain areas and just let them roll.  then there wouldn't be numerous "takes" of allegedly spontaneous scenes that look dull probably because they've had the spontaneity stripped by doing them a lot of times.

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9 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Jessa could dress a lot better than she does, it doesn't take a lot of money to find things that fit well and look nice.  She could easily do it if she wanted, she apparently doesn't want to do it.

Carlin Bates post tons of pictures in stylish clothing and she has mentioned that many of the nice dresses she wears to church are from Ross. It doesn't cost a lot of money to look cute and put together. I think Jessa just doens't put an effort into her look because she doesn't go out much, so why bother. She also considers throwing on a swing dress as dressing up so it's safe to say she just not into fashion. 

Edited by Lunera
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35 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

It's quite likely that there are a lot of things that happened in the past that haven't been revealed, possibly Jim Bob and Michelle don't even know about them. Having so many kids grow up pretty much isolated from everyone else their own age, it seems like problems would be inevitable. Also to think only one person out of the whole family could've turned out "evil" is a bit of a stretch. I think they had their first TV special in 2004 or somewhere around there, then got the show in 2008 - after such a long time, it's hard to imagine that what we see on TV isn't the whole story or could even be a total farce.

Well obviously, yes, that's what reality TV is. But your original point was why people don't show Josh the same sympathy they (sometimes) show his sisters. Regardless of what horrible crimes his sisters may have possibly committed off camera, Josh did, for certain, do awful things. And if tomorrow it's revealed that Jessa molested her younger siblings or something equally horrific, I would imagine she would be judged as harshly as Josh.

In the meantime, to get back on the topic of Jessa, more Spurgeon and Henry at play...

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11 hours ago, Nysha said:

Jill has 1.6 million followers on her Instagram, that's her social media career. She sucks at it, but for people who are willing to work there is good money to be made. My grandson watches YouTube videos of a little boy named Ryan opening presents and going to different themes parks. I read an article last spring and in the 2-3 years his family has been doing this they've made over $3 million!

My son watches him too!!  My 9 year old is at this moment making a "video" on her phone (she's not allowed to post anything online) talking about her yogurt and the day she had....YouTube makes everyone and their dog believe they can be famous for doing mundane shit.

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13 hours ago, DragonFaerie said:

 

They were allowed to dig for "fossils?"  Isn't that antifundie?  The whole the world is more than 6,000 years old and, you know, science and stuff?  But these boys are cute and look REAL spoons!

Oh, fossils in no way contradict the earth being 6,000 years old. Nope, not at all. Carbon dating is totally a conspiracy perpetuated by heathens.

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And God put fossils there to test people's faith.  Or else they're left over from the Flood, from all the animals that didn't make it on the Ark.  Or whatever other rationalization is the in things these days.

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17 hours ago, Mollie said:

The Ashley Madison adultery dating website has an affiliate program.  Jill could make money by touting this as the dating site used by her brother.

Counting On 3.jpg

What is an "affiliate program" in this context? I'm confused. 

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24 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

What is an "affiliate program" in this context? I'm confused. 

When bloggers/instagrammers/etc. sign up for affiliate programs, they can include links to various businesses in their posts. They get some amount of money if readers click those links and buy from the site.

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18 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

She is trying WAY too hard in these posts. Give it a rest.

I agree and think it's annoying, though it's an easy way to gain brownie points with everyone who buys into it, which a lot of people do it seems.

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2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Similar to Jill posting Mama’s recipes, and stating they ate it with a salad, perhaps?

Don’t forget the homemade bread ? as well!

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From the perspective of a kid from a big family - the activities Jessa described are exactly what my non-fundie siblings and I enjoyed.  In my (somewhat dysfunctional) family, we kids made our own fun.  I do not think Jessa is making up the memories.  It wasn't all bad.  I don't read too much into this post.  .  

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For me it's not Jessa posting good memories verses bad memories, it's Jessa posting current pics of her boys and comparing it to her 'typical' childhood.

Year after year the Duggars, including adult Jessa have shared and discussed and written a book about their atypical childhood and now Jessa is saying, eh, my bad, we are really just like y'all.

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23 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Just because Jessa does not post "bad" memories on social media doesn't mean there aren't any.

Also, it can be painful for even the most self-aware person to admit to themselves that their parents sacrificed them to a lesser god. Parents are supposed to love and care for their kids, right? What do you do when your parents did neither? If you're Jessa or Jill, maybe you just pretend everything was peachy. 

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I think Jess and Jill do a lot of pretending about their childhood. It is possible that they really think that had an amazing upbringing. I suspect they have chosen to to focus only on good things and to repress/deny anything that wasn't so cheery.

Really, that is how Jessa lives her life now.  Her posts are all Jessa Blessa Sunshine.  She tried out a few "real mom" posts and did't realize that posting 12 dirty diapers on her dresser was not a "real mom" post but rather a "real gross" post.  She is now doing only Jessa Blessa Sunshine posts. 

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When Jessa writes those long posts about Michelle or JB it's like she's trying to convince herself that they were great parents, pulling bits and pieces of her childhood memories to create the picture of perfection. 

She does that constantly and more recently with the post about how great her childhood was digging up fossils with spoons. She's really good at embellishing her stories.

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I think Jessa may be reminiscing about her wonderful childhood because the plan is to get her parents on TV more frequently, and the best way she can get that done is by fondly remembering her own childhood.  My parents were great! My kids' childhood is just like mine! So wholesome and fun! Don't look over there at my eldest brother we try not to mention. Look at me and my kids and see how happy my entire family has always been!

Because JB and Michelle seem to be on more this season than they have been since 19 Kids went off the air.

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37 minutes ago, Pingaponga said:

I think Jessa may be reminiscing about her wonderful childhood because the plan is to get her parents on TV more frequently, and the best way she can get that done is by fondly remembering her own childhood.  My parents were great! My kids' childhood is just like mine! So wholesome and fun! Don't look over there at my eldest brother we try not to mention. Look at me and my kids and see how happy my entire family has always been!

Because JB and Michelle seem to be on more this season than they have been since 19 Kids went off the air.

This feels very accurate, but have to wonder, to a point, where her memories are coming from.  I don't doubt that, in between playing sister-mom, she had a fair amount of the sort of unsupervised time which comes with having parents too distracted to  overly hover about, and those do tend to make some of the best memories. I remember, as an only child, playing with my next-door-neighbor, who was a little younger than me (back when we were five, six, seven years old, though her mother had proceeded to have another baby every year and a half or so in the interim). We played with all the mud, the worms, and any number of other things that my somewhat overprotective mother gently guided us away from if we were playing over my house. And those are some of my fondest memories. 

I don't doubt that Jessa DOES actually remember those times when they were playing pretty much unsupervised, and the freedom she felt in a group out in the open air where Josh's fumblings were no doubt hardly a threat and no one was expecting her to take on responsibilities. And, as such, I have no doubt that she would want Spurge and Henry to experience that same sense of freedom even though they don't have (as far as we can tell) any of the trials which she might remember from her own childhood - even though she would have been older then they are now by the time her first memories really kicked in.

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I agree.

The Jessa Blessa Sunshine Posts are also an attempt to rehab the Duggar brand.  

 

And maybe Jessa really does want people to know that her childhood was not awful, despite what happened to her.  We will never really know how Jessa feels deep down (does Jessa even know?) but she certainly appeared on camera to give the vibe that it was done, forgiven and she moved on. 

In her mind, maybe the molestation was a small part of her childhood and she doesn't want to be known as the "molested Duggar sister" but rather  as "Jessa, who had a good childhood despite some bad stuff with an amazing family".  (oh, and watch the show!)

No idea...just tossing out some thoughts. 

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I don't think any of the Duggar 19 actually know who they are and what they really feel.....except for Joshie. They were never allowed to ask themselves that question growing up. I also believe that a mental block of some sort has been inserted in their internal dialogue over the years with their parents, that actually prohibits them from completing that thought as it would be a sin for them to 'question'. Remember Joy's 'crisis of faith'? Joe helped her NOT stray from the party line. Look at her life now.

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

As a therapist I've worked with many folks who have experienced trauma. The Duggars talked about the molestations and punished the abuser. Those two things go a long way in helping a survivor process the abuse. I really did (& still do) believe Jessa when she said she has put this behind her and moved on. For folks who continue to struggle with trauma, it usually presents as anxiety, depression and/or PTSD. Neither Jessa or her sisters appear to have mental health issues, however sometimes the impact of trauma are delayed, so they may in the future. 

I think she is more trying to normalize her childhood in that she wants non-Fundies to believe she didn't spend her younger years only learning about bankruptcy and cleaning her parents' bedroom. Jessa wants everyone to believe they spent their days playing in the dirt, riding bikes, etc like a typical family. She's trying to undo the years they spent talking about blanket training, instant obedience, homeschooling, jurisdictions and modesty. She's trying to undo the years of images of the first 9 or 10 kids sitting inside at dining room table for school and the last 8 or 9 kids always stuck in the house running feral, climbing counters and making posters.

Jessa wants viewers to believe she is raising Spurgie and Henry the same as every family. What she doesn't realize is if she normalizes her family too much she will no longer be relevant. Watching paint dry is more exciting then watching to young parents raising their two young sons.

 I wish I could "like" this a thousand times. That is all.

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