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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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The Duggars post about politics on social media frequently, but these social media posts are not an invitation to discuss politics here in this forum. This rule extends to Duggar adjacent families, friends, associates etc. Such discussions are a violation of the Politics Policy. 

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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3 hours ago, sometimesy said:

but the kiss? They did it again in the video. Is that for real. They go in with duck beaks?

Maybe it's just me, but I would think the duck's beak kiss is really the "it's all for show" kiss. I mean, it's not really a kiss. It's not like it's anything you would enjoy. Or anything that would truly express even affection, let alone desire or love, seems to me.

Admittedly, I say this having not, to my recollection, ever exchanged a duck-beak kiss. Because...why would you?

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I have to give Jessa credit for not always "keeping sweet."

That's what I've always thought criticisms of Jessa's personality boiled down to...that she doesn't keep sweet, which is hugely ironic considering the criticism fundies get for insisting that women keep sweet at all times. In Jessa we get someone strong-willed with little patience and the talk on all the Duggar boards is that her personality detracts from her looks. I'm not saying she's a nice person, but isn't it a good thing that she doesn't always care about appearing nice?

And really, in what way are the other girls any better? Jana hates the camera and refuses to exhibit a shred of personality, but we do know that she's the one Joy calls to handle the kids because they fear what she'll do if they misbehave. Jill morphed from over-enthusiastic dork to arrogant cry-baby who has her father's mean sense of humor and likes to make her baby cry by swaddling him when he was way too big for that. Jinger is so insipid that she couldn't even fake her way through a scene selling a car without her brothers talking for her. Joy doesn't even pretend to have any likes or ambitions other than not wanting to wear dresses.

So my verdict? Compared to her sisters, Jessa's personality actually adds to her looks. And honestly, I've always thought that if she looked like Jill (or Jinger back in her excruciating awkward phase), the internet would love her bouts of bitchiness.

Edited by lascuba
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2 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Maybe it's just me, but I would think the duck's beak kiss is really the "it's all for show" kiss. I mean, it's not really a kiss. It's not like it's anything you would enjoy. Or anything that would truly express even affection, let alone desire or love, seems to me.

Admittedly, I say this having not, to my recollection, ever exchanged a duck-beak kiss. Because...why would you?

Well, these people have only ever kissed one another. Sucks to be them.

I have seen a few pics lately in which Jill looks more attractive than Jessa, IMO. 

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17 minutes ago, lascuba said:

That's what I've always thought criticisms of Jessa's personality boiled down to...that she doesn't keep sweet, which is hugely ironic considering the criticism fundies get for insisting that women keep sweet at all times. In Jessa we get someone strong-willed with little patience and the talk on all the Duggar boards is that her personality detracts from her looks. I'm not saying she's a nice person, but isn't it a good thing that she doesn't always care about appearing nice?

And really, in what way are the other girls any better? Jana hates the camera and refuses to exhibit a shred of personality, but we do know that she's the one Joy calls to handle the kids because they fear what she'll do if they misbehave. Jill morphed from over-enthusiastic dork to arrogant cry-baby who has her father's mean sense of humor and likes to make her baby cry by swaddling him when he was way too big for that. Jinger is so insipid that she couldn't even fake her way through a scene selling a car without her brothers talking for her. Joy doesn't even pretend to have any likes or ambitions other than not wanting to wear dresses.

So my verdict? Compared to her sisters, Jessa's personality actually adds to her looks. And honestly, I've always thought that if she looked like Jill (or Jinger back in her excruciating awkward phase), the internet would love her bouts of bitchiness.

I do see your point.

But I guess I think that you can fail to keep sweet but still be nice. That you can be an angry, explosive even violent rebel and even a biting social critic without being a personal bitch. I think you can have a really strong personality and even be assertive and opinionated without just being a selfish bitch. I guess I think she's shallow and selfish and generally mean and cold to people who don't necessarily deserve it. And I don't find that equivalent to having a personality. I find that equivalent to having a bitchy personality and being very small minded. Which doesn't attract me. Although many other kinds of "lack of sweetness" attract me a lot.

I guess I find her just as boring and free of a real personality as her sisters are. They're all a mess, as far as I'm concerned. Although I don't necessarily blame either Jessa or the others for that. I'm sure with a different upbringing at least some of them would be quite different.

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 minute ago, Churchhoney said:

I do see your point.

But I guess I think that you can fail to keep sweet but still be nice. That you can be an angry explosive even violent rebel and even a biting social critic without being a personal bitch. I think you can have a really strong personality without just being a selfish bitch. I guess I think she's shallow and selfish and generally mean and cold to people who don't necessarily deserve it. And I don't find that equivalent to having a personality. I find that equivalent to having a bitchy personality. Which doesn't attract me. Although many other kinds of "lack of sweetness" attract me a lot.

I guess find her just as boring and free of a real personality as her sisters are. They're all a mess, as far as I'm concerned. Although I don't necessarily blame Jessa or the others for that.

Ugh, I'm going to sound like some Jessa fangirl/defender, and while I like her *compared to the rest of her family*, I don't actually like her. But while I find her cold/standoff-ish and generally impatient, I honestly don't find her particularly selfish or shallow or even all that mean most of the time. Just as one example, when Erin was getting married and the girls (headed by Jill) came up with this "hilarious" gift of a fire extinguisher because Erin couldn't cook, Jessa was the one who objected and said that the joke was mean.

I honestly can't think of a single instance where Jessa was mean to someone she was talking to. She's been snarky in talking heads, sort of like we all get snarky online, but in direct interpersonal communication? I don't see it. The only examples I've seen people offer online are things like she "rubs her marriage and baby in perpetually single Jana's face" which...yeah, no.  And don't even get me started on the grossly unfair criticism of her lack of maternal feelings towards her siblings. As for shallow, considering that Jill is the only one who clearly doesn't care about her looks, I don't get why Jessa is singled out for that one. Have we ever seen Jana or Jinger without 20 pounds of eye liner?

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20 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Ugh, I'm going to sound like some Jessa fangirl/defender, and while I like her *compared to the rest of her family*, I don't actually like her. But while I find her cold/standoff-ish and generally impatient, I honestly don't find her particularly selfish or shallow or even all that mean most of the time. Just as one example, when Erin was getting married and the girls (headed by Jill) came up with this "hilarious" gift of a fire extinguisher because Erin couldn't cook, Jessa was the one who objected and said that the joke was mean.

I honestly can't think of a single instance where Jessa was mean to someone she was talking to. She's been snarky in talking heads, sort of like we all get snarky online, but in direct interpersonal communication? I don't see it. The only examples I've seen people offer online are things like she "rubs her marriage and baby in perpetually single Jana's face" which...yeah, no.  And don't even get me started on the grossly unfair criticism of her lack of maternal feelings towards her siblings. As for shallow, considering that Jill is the only one who clearly doesn't care about her looks, I don't get why Jessa is singled out for that one. Have we ever seen Jana or Jinger without 20 pounds of eye liner?

I get you!

And I'm only basing my "opinion" on limited material. I don't even watch the show. So I've mainly just seen clips and read stuff that suggests to me her values. So the snarkiness comes off just as grumpiness and bitchiness to me rather than the much deeper snark I think her family actually deserves! -- but probably that's mostly because, like all of them, she's ignorant and stupid and can't muster up any better kind of snark. ... Which is not her fault.

I completely agree that Jessa shouldn't be singled out as the shallow one. I think they're all massively shallow -- again, though, I put that down to their knowing nothing and, apparently, not caring to know anything. 

I guess my main disagreement with you is that I wouldn't credit her with a personality. Because everything I've actually seen just looks a bunch of grumpiness. And, to me, grumpiness does not a personality make -- Although I agree with you that it's definitely a lot more lively than what you get with Jana or Jinger! And because you've seen more of her, there may be more there than I'm giving it credit for.

I'm mostly just disappointed with her, as I am with the rest. But because she does seem to have some more spunk than the others, I'm actually more disappointed. Because I wish she'd use that spunk to some good purpose. Too much to expect of any Duggar, though, I'm afraid.

Edited by Churchhoney
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16 minutes ago, Malvina said:

That's actually cute.

Dropped the kid off at Grandma's, so the lost girls (&Mac) can babysit. He can visit: Izzy, Josie, Marcus, Meredith and Michael who are also being raised by the lost girls/Mac.

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12 minutes ago, Absolom said:

That's Ben's "date shirt?"  It makes it look like burger run rather than an anniversary.

I was just thinking how dressed up they both look for their anniversary dinner. (Insert "sarcastic" font here).

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2 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I get you!

And I'm only basing my "opinion" on limited material. I don't even watch the show. So I've mainly just seen clips and read stuff that suggests to me her values. So the snarkiness comes off just as grumpiness and bitchiness to me rather than the much deeper snark I think her family actually deserves! -- but probably that's mostly because, like all of them, she's ignorant and stupid and can't muster up any better kind of snark. ... Which is not her fault.

I completely agree that Jessa shouldn't be singled out as the shallow one. I think they're all massively shallow -- again, though, I put that down to their knowing nothing and, apparently, not caring to know anything. 

I guess my main disagreement with you is that I wouldn't credit her with a personality. Because everything I've actually seen just looks a bunch of grumpiness. And, to me, grumpiness does not a personality make -- Although I agree with you that it's definitely a lot more lively than what you get with Jana or Jinger! And because you've seen more of her, there may be more there than I'm giving it credit for.

I'm mostly just disappointed with her, as I am with the rest. But because she does seem to have some more spunk than the others, I'm actually more disappointed. Because I wish she'd use that spunk to some good purpose. Too much to expect of any Duggar, though, I'm afraid.

I'm totally with you, there. 

A big part of the reason that I equate a lot of Jessa's grumpiness/bitchiness with personality is that when it's on display, it's one of the very vew instances where a Duggar isn't (badly) performing and is acting like a normal human being. The Duggars are so awkward and stilted all the time because their parents are stupid and taught them that they must project a perfect, happy image at all times when the cameras are rolling, which means no honest, spontaneous reactions,  so things like Jessa arguing with JD about the tree house and JD looking at the camera like he's a character on The Office is practically subversive. Or way back when JB was talking about all the guys writing to him about the girls and teen Jessa said, "Yeah, the weird ones." (Oh, Jessa...what happened to those razor sharp instinct?) Michelle and JB laughed it off but you could tell they were thinking, "NOT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS, JESSA!" It was great, because that's what most of us would be thinking and saying in such a situation, and she went ahead and broke the rules by saying it publicly. The "nice" thing for her to have said--what her sisters would have said--is something noncommital about how they trust their dad with all that, blah blah blah. 

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That video was a big FU moment about serving ice cream outdoors in cold weather, as in they expected it to be warm out when they were married.

I see Jessa as conniving, manipulative, self-serving and conceited - traits I do not admire. Did I mention self-serving?

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1 hour ago, lascuba said:

(Oh, Jessa...what happened to those razor sharp instinct?)

Jim Bob talking to Ben before they were engaged: I don't think I am ready to give another daughter away

Jessa: Well, you don't want us to elope *then she gives Jim Bob quite a look

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31 minutes ago, DOBABYR said:

Jim Bob talking to Ben before they were engaged: I don't think I am ready to give another daughter away

Jessa: Well, you don't want us to elope *then she gives Jim Bob quite a look

It's just...how weird were all those other guys who contacted JB that Ben--BEN!--captured her interest?

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I think Jana holds back alot of herself. While Joy expounded on Jeremy's Strong Leader qualities, Jana nodded in agreement, but I saw an eye roll.  When Jill says she could only survive the wilderness if Derick comes with her, Jana gives off a real disgusted little eyeroll, complete with a smirk.

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3 hours ago, Absolom said:

That's Ben's "date shirt?"  It makes it look like burger run rather than an anniversary.

I guess it's another meal at Tacos 4 Life, comped of course.  (I can't believe I remembered their name.)

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1 hour ago, lascuba said:

It's just...how weird were all those other guys who contacted JB that Ben--BEN!--captured her interest?

Because Ben is eye candy like Jessa. I doubt it was much deeper than that with those two haha. 

1 hour ago, louannems said:

I think Jana holds back alot of herself. While Joy expounded on Jeremy's Strong Leader qualities, Jana nodded in agreement, but I saw an eye roll.  When Jill says she could only survive the wilderness if Derick comes with her, Jana gives off a real disgusted little eyeroll, complete with a smirk.

YES! She did. I asked in the episode forum was that editing with all those dirty looks coming from the girls or was that real time?...

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1 hour ago, lascuba said:

It's just...how weird were all those other guys who contacted JB that Ben--BEN!--captured her interest?

Really gives you insight into the fabulous community the holy and virtuous Duggars are embedded in, doesn't it?

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Jessa is the type of person who will endlessly talk shit about you behind your back (or post online that you're going to hell), but shatters the instant you challenge her tough facade to her face. She's used her looks to get away with a lot, and never gotten real pushback. I also think her snippy was is a defense against the mokestation trauma. It's a fancy, faux-empowering form of denial. Nothing happened because I said it didn't.

 

I can't wait for her looks to fade to the point where she's left with nothing else. I think that's either when she'll start to grow, or turn into a huge bitch. Probably the latter.

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I dislike Jessa the least of the J crew of Jinger, Jill, Jessa, Joy.  (Jana is not in the crew, in my mind.) 

I think her IQ is higher than the other J-crew members and she has some spunk.  She seems emotionally bonded to Spurgie and that's a step up also.    

Let's keep that in perspective though.  She is still in bad shape compared to normal adults but I feel like she is making a bit of progress.

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5 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I dislike Jessa the least of the J crew of Jinger, Jill, Jessa, Joy.  (Jana is not in the crew, in my mind.) 

I think her IQ is higher than the other J-crew members and she has some spunk.  She seems emotionally bonded to Spurgie and that's a step up also.    

Let's keep that in perspective though.  She is still in bad shape compared to normal adults but I feel like she is making a bit of progress.

I agree. And I still insist that progress isn't out of the question for any of them. They're all still very young. so they can still move forward. And no such forward movement is ever fast. More like so-slow-it's-imperceptible, really. I would definitely not write any of them off at this point. Things that they see and experience can take root in their minds and foster positive change. For their sake and even more for the world's sake and their children's sake, I hope it happens. Perfectly possible also, of course, that they're all stuck epitomizing the worst of Duggardom for life, of course.

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I also agree with Marigold

Honestly If I was raised the same as Jessa I would also  be a huge effing bitch ( and really, we haven't seen THAT bad of behavior from her)

I like her spunk and she can form coherent sentences so she is 1000 times more watchable than any of the other Duggar women. lol. Jinger squeals like Michelle, Jana could give two shits and tries to say as little as possible ( I don't blame her, just stop forcing her to be on the show), Joy is too dumb for words ( literally) and Jill goes from annoying to emotional breakdown.

I also never ever understood the hate for her for not being maternal toward her mothers kids. Not her job. She is not their mother. She is in no way obligated to be concerned for her siblings upbringing, well being, or daily care. Jim Boob and Mechelle are the parents. 

She is plenty maternal with her OWN (albeit horribly named) child. Something we haven't seen out of Jilly Muffin. 

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I still think that Jessa, because she does have spunk and a personality, was beaten terribly as a child (what with being "willful" and all), as a result, she had to shut down quite a few emotions and natural reactions. So she may come across as hard and cold. Nobody is born that way, unless it's based on illness.

No excuse for her to be bitchy and nasty though.

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1 hour ago, MunichNark said:

I still think that Jessa, because she does have spunk and a personality, was beaten terribly as a child (what with being "willful" and all), as a result, she had to shut down quite a few emotions and natural reactions. So she may come across as hard and cold. Nobody is born that way, unless it's based on illness.

No excuse for her to be bitchy and nasty though.

Excellent point. No doubt she had the arse of her little prairie frumper warmed more times than she cared to count. I think there were. some serious attempts at spirit breaking going on. The way she said Spurgeon would be raised "very differently" had an almost acid tone to it., and it haunted me.

I could tell there were aspects of her upbringing she wanted no part of. She's one of her mother's favorites, so no doubt her life would have been immeasurably worse had Michelle not intervened.  No wonder she's got that look of stank on her puss.  I would have likely married the first half wit so I could escape the asylum as well. That girl seems to be playing the long con...she'll sing the company tune until she and Bin have enough money to get the hell outta Dodge.  

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14 hours ago, DOBABYR said:

Jim Bob talking to Ben before they were engaged: I don't think I am ready to give another daughter away

Jessa: Well, you don't want us to elope *then she gives Jim Bob quite a look

He should have called their bluff; no way Princess Jessa would have agreed to marry a teenager and live in a hovel without TLC and JimBob $.

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13 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

He should have called their bluff; no way Princess Jessa would have agreed to marry a teenager and live in a hovel without TLC and JimBob $.

I think she totally would have- they would have just wound up on the Seewald Compound for a while LOL. At least I would have loved for that to happen. I wonder what their life would be like had they done that

Maybe they would have gotten desperate for cash and done a tell all :-P

18 hours ago, Malvina said:

Not gonna lie I think thats a pretty cute pic hah

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21 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Maybe it's just me, but I would think the duck's beak kiss is really the "it's all for show" kiss. I mean, it's not really a kiss. It's not like it's anything you would enjoy. Or anything that would truly express even affection, let alone desire or love, seems to me.

Admittedly, I say this having not, to my recollection, ever exchanged a duck-beak kiss. Because...why would you?

To prove there was no tongue?

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5 hours ago, JoanArc said:

Jessa is the type of person who will endlessly talk shit about you behind your back (or post online that you're going to hell), but shatters the instant you challenge her tough facade to her face. She's used her looks to get away with a lot, and never gotten real pushback. I also think her snippy was is a defense against the mokestation trauma. It's a fancy, faux-empowering form of denial. Nothing happened because I said it didn't.

 

I can't wait for her looks to fade to the point where she's left with nothing else. I think that's either when she'll start to grow, or turn into a huge bitch. Probably the latter.

You means Jessa seems...who knows how she really is...

and to be honest Michelle is not unattractive at all....She does her hair, tanning, and clothes to make herself look super dated but that is all..so Jessa may be just fine. 

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2 hours ago, MunichNark said:

I still think that Jessa, because she does have spunk and a personality, was beaten terribly as a child (what with being "willful" and all), as a result, she had to shut down quite a few emotions and natural reactions. So she may come across as hard and cold. Nobody is born that way, unless it's based on illness.

No excuse for her to be bitchy and nasty though.

I'll never forget when Michelle said that for a while she thought Jessa might have hearing problems when she was toddler because she never listened. Chills went down my spine at that. There's no doubt in my mind that Jessa got the shit beaten out of her more than any of her siblings.

5 minutes ago, MamaMax said:

To prove there was no tongue?

This makes me think of that movie The Wedding Singer, where Drew Barrymore's characters explains the difference between "porn tongue" and "church tongue."

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1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

He should have called their bluff; no way Princess Jessa would have agreed to marry a teenager and live in a hovel without TLC and JimBob $.

I agree. No matter if these girls are shy, bitchy, spunky, outgoing or "meek," at the end of the day Boob is still the Puppet Master pulling all the strings. None of these kiddults are willing to vacate their cushy, rent-free lifestyles to establish any sort of independence. Jessa's more than happy to be a big fish in a small pond complete with Starbucks, tacos and free nanny care down the street. They'll never leave the fold.

Edited by BitterApple
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23 hours ago, lascuba said:

Or way back when JB was talking about all the guys writing to him about the girls and teen Jessa said, "Yeah, the weird ones." (Oh, Jessa...what happened to those razor sharp instinct?) 

Jessa referred to some of the potential suitors as, "creeps and weirdos".  I remember this because she made the comments during an interview with People magazine, and it caused quite a stir. 

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39 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Jessa referred to some of the potential suitors as, "creeps and weirdos".  I remember this because she made the comments during an interview with People magazine, and it caused quite a stir. 

Does  anyone else start singing the song, "Creep", in their heads when they read this? 

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

Jessa referred to some of the potential suitors as, "creeps and weirdos".  I remember this because she made the comments during an interview with People magazine, and it caused quite a stir. 

Those suitors must have been very creepy since JB approved of a courtship for Jessa with a minimally educated teenager.  As far as jobs, I think they said that Bin was installing windshields or doing clerical work for an insurance agency.   Why is he doing neither of these jobs now?   Ok I know, the easy TLC money.  How is he that much different from the guys on 16 And Pregnant?

Edited by ariel
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52 minutes ago, ariel said:

Those suitors must have been very creepy since JB approved of a courtship for Jessa with a minimally educated teenager.  As far as jobs, I think they said that Bin was installing windshields or doing clerical work for an insurance agency.   Why is he doing neither of these jobs now?   Ok I know, the easy TLC money.  How is he that much different from the guys on 16 And Pregnant?

Well, to be fair, both of those jobs were in Ben's hometown (Hot Springs?), which is a four hour drive from the Duggar Compound. Better for Ben to be holed up in a tiny makeshift bedroom in a tin warehouse and get checks from Boob and TLC. 

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

Jessa referred to some of the potential suitors as, "creeps and weirdos".  I remember this because she made the comments during an interview with People magazine, and it caused quite a stir. 

Lulz, to a Duggar a weirdo is probably a guy who works a full time job and doesn't want to spend his days on the bus station sectional staring at his in-laws.  Their perspective is so warped they probably have no idea what a good guy looks like.

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1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

Well, to be fair, both of those jobs were in Ben's hometown (Hot Springs?), which is a four hour drive from the Duggar Compound. Better for Ben to be holed up in a tiny makeshift bedroom in a tin warehouse and get checks from Boob and TLC. 

Are you saying with all of Bin's highly honed skills, he couldn't get a local job?  J/K  Bin took the easy way out.

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Hell, Ben worked for his own daddy repairing windshields, and I bet the job answering phones at the insurance company had some form of nepotism tied to it (my guess is church member/close family friend). So, he really hasn't earned ANY of the jobs he's had, including the one that gives him the biggest check. That one literally just fell into his lap with no effort at all other than writing sappy love letters about majestic bracelets to make sure he kept the girl. 

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On 11/2/2016 at 3:29 PM, lascuba said:

That's what I've always thought criticisms of Jessa's personality boiled down to...that she doesn't keep sweet, which is hugely ironic considering the criticism fundies get for insisting that women keep sweet at all times. In Jessa we get someone strong-willed with little patience and the talk on all the Duggar boards is that her personality detracts from her looks. I'm not saying she's a nice person, but isn't it a good thing that she doesn't always care about appearing nice?

And really, in what way are the other girls any better? Jana hates the camera and refuses to exhibit a shred of personality, but we do know that she's the one Joy calls to handle the kids because they fear what she'll do if they misbehave. Jill morphed from over-enthusiastic dork to arrogant cry-baby who has her father's mean sense of humor and likes to make her baby cry by swaddling him when he was way too big for that. Jinger is so insipid that she couldn't even fake her way through a scene selling a car without her brothers talking for her. Joy doesn't even pretend to have any likes or ambitions other than not wanting to wear dresses.

So my verdict? Compared to her sisters, Jessa's personality actually adds to her looks. And honestly, I've always thought that if she looked like Jill (or Jinger back in her excruciating awkward phase), the internet would love her bouts of bitchiness.

Jessa comes off as someone who can be cruel. Entitled and cruel.  Totes different.

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2 hours ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Jessa comes off as someone who can be cruel. Entitled and cruel.  Totes different.

The general consensus among people who've met the family is that Jessa is the least friendly and the most standoffish.  It's also been said that she appears to be very leery of outsiders and seems to have a chip on her shoulder.  I think she is very aware of how her family is perceived, so perhaps her behavior is a form of self-preservation.

Edited by Adeejay
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2 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Hell, Ben worked for his own daddy repairing windshields, and I bet the job answering phones at the insurance company had some form of nepotism tied to it (my guess is church member/close family friend). So, he really hasn't earned ANY of the jobs he's had, including the one that gives him the biggest check. That one literally just fell into his lap with no effort at all other than writing sappy love letters about majestic bracelets to make sure he kept the girl. 

And he acts like he hasn't earned anything.... Which is why he is dumb enough to think he can minister in inner cities..Ugh

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