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S03.E04: Week 3, Night 1

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A newly single bachelor makes a desperate plea for the heart of a taken woman; the unattached guys try to bring their A-game to the cocktail party so they won't be sent home.

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Was it just my tv or was Carly's face two different colors during some of her interviews?  She almost looked like she had a beard.

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Josh and the pizza was comedy gold, he was more into it than he has been into Amanda. Then they show Amanda trying to talk herself into believing what a deep and sensitive guy he is while the lunkhead is smacking his lips on the pizza.

Maybe Evan's bugging until he wears somebody down actually  does work sometimes because he did end up making out with Carly. But then again she was drunk.

I almost felt bad for the twin that Jared turned down for Caila, but then I remembered she is 23 and probably could find somebody easily outside The Bachelor franchise.

I hope Daniel will be able to talk some sense into Ashley I. and her Jared obsession, but I doubt it.

LOL at the iguana at the end...

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I cant believe that we saw Josh's speedy train go into Amanda's tunnel of love. And saw Josh eat his own cream off his crotch. This show. SMH.

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Note to self:  When going horseback riding, always be sure to wear proper riding attire: an off-the-shoulders blouse and strapless push-up demi-bra.

Also: Sarah and Izzy would both benefit greatly by having their hair styled by a professional. And Sarah could use a bit of makeup, she looks quite washed out.

Edited by adhoc
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Really, show, making Harrison say all of these ejaculation double entendres in the previouslies? Ew.

Show's biggest mystery: Who ate the missing slice from Josh's "authentic" Mexican pizza? And, really with the "mmmmmm" kissing voiceovers with him eating. Ew again.

I totally missed the most important 2 minutes of this show--Evan's "date" with Amanda! Did she really say that if only he told her before Josh snatched her up and he would have had a chance?!?!?

Does Josh have dysentery or something?! How is it POSSIBLE to sweat that much sitting still?

Evan is the emotional abuser trying to manipulate Amanda as a "nice guy" who only has his own self-interest at play. Jerk. But then Lace seems to be putting herself right in the middle telling Amanda that she agrees Josh is trouble and then "not seeing" Josh sitting right there as she says the opposite to Grant (and thereby Josh) saying she can't believe Evan would do that.

Best steal: While Josh and Evan are fighting over "Amanda's honor" or "Josh's dishonor" or whatever, Nick swoops in to talk to her, giving Evan's speech better than Evan did.

Christian you may be A grown-ass man, but you're not THE Grown-Ass Man. Miss you, Bukowski! Paradise is not the same without you! 

No, Emily, "condescending" means exactly how you're talking down to "perfect" Caila. You're condescending; she's not.

Jared has a strong Boston accent in his voiceovers that he doesn't have when otherwise speaking. Is he even from Boston? Do they have someone else recording his voiceovers?

Lace calls herself a "day 1 couple" with Grant, conveniently forgetting Chad. Never forget! [Chad awareness ribbon, light beige-colored a la Boars Head Turkey]

Exhausted from half a push-up and suffering a broken heart and bruised ego, Evan is unresponsive. No one mentions the bandage around his ankle with a get well soon message. How is that related to his loopiness?

Lace nearly gets into a bar brawl. #NewLace

Jared breaks Emily's heart, and next week Ashley continues to break her own heart over him.

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I didn't get the constant Josh and food references. I don't believe he is into pizza that much; for some goofy reason the show picked that to make a story. I didn't understand what happened to Evan. They couldn't wake him up, yet the EMT person was laughing and didn't seem at all concerned about him. Evan seems a bit unhinged; every other moment he is after someone else.

Jared actually had a pulse tonight but I wonder if Caila will stay with him. Other than that, not too much going on.

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Just don't see Jared's appeal. Weird teeth, pointy chin, kind of scruffy, but not in an attractive way...

Well, to each his/her own.

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8 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Miss you, Bukowski! Paradise is not the same without you! 

His storyline on Bachelor Pad with Jamie the nurse, I still laugh about that.

8 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Never forget! [Chad awareness ribbon, light beige-colored a la Boars Head Turkey]

HAHAHA

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I hate to agree with Evan the weasel, but Josh just spouts off meaninglessness word salad.  He talks so much you tire of trying to debate him.   It was however a dick move to feign concern about "the book" by the weasel.

Oh twin, you are not prettier than Caila.  She has natural, girl next door beauty and breck girl hair, where you look hard and artificial.   

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The Evan medical issue was as staged as his fake date card for Amanda. There was no reason for a producer to even think there was something wrong with him for, uh, I don't know, SLEEPING late at night.  And why would Carly be the first person they would get?  But hey, the guy is one of the biggest attention whores this franchise has seen in a long time. I think the real medic was sleeping and they got Jorge's daughter to pretend to be the medic.

Every time I see Caila I think she could have saved us from a season of Jordan Rogers. Because she never would have picked him for her F1 if she had gotten the gig as the Bachelorette.  It probably would have been Caila and Wes forever.  What a bummer. Oh, wait, does Wes show up on BIP? Maybe there's hope!

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Josh is disgusting. They're trying to make him look that way too. I don't think we're supposed to like him with all the emphasis on moaning and sweat. He's coming across as gross. And the pizza thing must be the new Chad's meat plate.

I actually felt bad for whatever twin got dumped by Jared. I've never liked them but individually they're pretty funny and sort of likable. I hate them together though. It's been nice to get to know whichever one that was. I forget.

Caila irritates me too so I have to agree with Twin in that regard. Something about how sprightly and chipper she is and the constant smiling no matter what is happening. I don't think she's prettier than anyone there either, including twins, unless an almost unibrow turns you on. Pretty hair though.

I don't think Nick was saying anything bad about Josh when he was talking to Amanda and I'm surprised that it's being taken that way. He said that there were things written about both of them in the book. Some of what was written about himself was truth and a lot was inaccurate. I saw the conversation as, "You're a smart girl. Take it with a grain of salt." He knew there was no way she was getting rid of Josh so I think he was trying to save some face by being a friend and casting some doubt on what was said in the book so that Amanda can quit thinking he's crying in the fetal position in the shower every night. 

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Is ABC getting a piece of the revenue generated from this book? Because the show sounds like a promo for the book -- it seems to me like everyone had been briefed about what the book says by producers. The producers have really made this book be a plot device to drive the stupid "storylines" of this show.

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Christian you may be A grown-ass man, but you're not THE Grown-Ass Man. Miss you, Bukowski! Paradise is not the same without you!

This! When Christian said that I got all Buk-nostalgic. I would love to see him show up even if he just looked around, said nah & left. 

The producers, the medical medical, & Carly all seemed to be having a hard time pulling that lame storyline off.  Evan increasingly skeeves me out, like in a shuddering eww kind of way. Gag. 

Edited by ramble · Reason: Even, Evan yeah, I'll just go with Eww
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46 minutes ago, backformore said:

Watching this on delay, and the funniest moment so far is Josh, eating pizza, then Amanda comes back, and they resume making out.  Apparently he got some pizza on her.  He wipes her face, saying, "you had some pizza on your face", wipes the pizza grease ON HER LEG, before going back to kissing.   

At that point, she should have walked away and called out for Evan.  Or Nick.  Or ANYONE. 

"You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore."

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1 hour ago, TheFinalRose said:

There was no reason for a producer to even think there was something wrong with him for, uh, I don't know, SLEEPING late at night.

Especially as they let Chad passout flat on the steps with a crab in his hair and only thought "This is great footage." But Evan is kinda passed out -in bed- and it becomes an immediate medical intervention? Though I do agree he is a little loopy, and not just today.

Other thoughts strewn about my head:

Daniel doing his manscaping duties was hilarious.

The pizza... you'd think he'd just gotten really high as that's the only way it could have led to such moaning and delight and effusive praise! But he in no way had wiped off the grease on his paws before he pawed after Amanda again. They are starting to remind me of those bears Hallmark makes that magnetize together at the mouth, as soon as Amanda gets close enough Josh is stuck to her mouth.

I love that one of the keys to telling the twins apart was that one has more piercings in her ears. Because did anyone see moles on on twin's face?? Also, first she says she's always the one doing the heart-breaking and then complains that nobody ever choo-choo-chooses her. I think she's had plenty of people interested in her and she's obviously blown most of them off. Reap. Sow. Think about it.

"Oh we're going horseback riding? We should change!" I never thought that the end result (as perviously mentioned) would be the worst possible choice of tops. I laughed so hard about that. But then they had swim suits on underneath too? Also, what did they do with the horses as they laid out and frolicked in the waves??

Lace would be the last person I'd try to instigate at a bar, she's got crayyyzee 'I'll cut a bitch' eyes. Girl just looks unhinged sometimes. I can only hope for this to plant a seed and someone, anyone, will take the icebath approach with Amanda and Josh

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After Evan's "medical issue" he mentioned some medication that he'd been taking. I'm guessing he wasn't supposed to mix those meds with alcohol? Still, it was blown way out of proportion to get Carly to babysit him. He seemed fine the entire time.

Of course Josh talks with his mouth full. Of course he does. Ew. And does he really moan like that every time he eats pizza or makes out with someone, or is that an added sound effect? So gross. And was it just me, or was the train-through-the tunnel visual overlayed with some of Amanda's Minnie Mouse moans? Triple-ew.

I love how everyone talked about Andi's book, but nobody had actually read it. Did TPTB make a Cliff Notes version?

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42 minutes ago, Wandering Snark said:

Especially as they let Chad passout flat on the steps with a crab in his hair and only thought "This is great footage." But Evan is kinda passed out -in bed- and it becomes an immediate medical intervention? Though I do agree he is a little loopy, and not just today.

 

He said something about medication. What medication? Did he bring something from his clinic...no, I don't wanna know.

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23 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

 And was it just me, or was the train-through-the tunnel visual overlayed with some of Amanda's Minnie Mouse moans? Triple-ew.
 

Not just the train, it was the flower opening, then the train, then the ocean swirling around the rock, THEN the fountain erupting and finally the fireworks.

(runs and hides forever)

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9 minutes ago, piewarmer said:

Not just the train, it was the flower opening, then the train, then the ocean swirling around the rock, THEN the fountain erupting and finally the fireworks.

(runs and hides forever)

Right, but did they play Amanda's moans over all of that, or did I imagine hearing that?

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I don't know why but I like the twins. 

Nick remains hot and has a cute sense of humor. I don't get why these girls aren't into him. 

Josh makes me want to vomit, and those sound effects are not helping, editors. ::shudder::

Caila looks like a Disney princess so of course the guys like her.

Wtf, Evan. I liked you when you were calling phony Josh out on his stupid, meaningless platitudes, but the rest of the time you acted like a total creeper.

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6 hours ago, Falafel said:

Is ABC getting a piece of the revenue generated from this book? Because the show sounds like a promo for the book -- it seems to me like everyone had been briefed about what the book says by producers. The producers have really made this book be a plot device to drive the stupid "storylines" of this show.

Seriously. At this point I'm waiting for Josh to pull a Danielle Staub* and slap the book down on the dinner table...or, um, I guess Jorge's bar in this case.

*Real Housewives of NJ--last time controversial character analysis from a book got this much air time

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Oh my...

Emily seems to not understand a lot of what she is saying. "I have a good heart"...endless scenes of her being critical of other women; "Caila is so fake" which is spoken while Emily acts one way in front of others and then rips into them in her confessionals; etc.  She also expressed confusion over how guys would chose other women who 'weren't as pretty' (yes, there goes her big and good heart again) but doesn't consider how maybe pretty isn't the end all and that some men actually like to be able to have a conversation with their girlfriends/wives. However, it was her encouragement to her own twin to not keep Brandon because he couldn't tell them apart.  Yep, way to set someone up for failure.  And then bitter enough to discourage her own sister from keeping a guy who seemed to actually like her.  Brandon wasn't the most exciting person there, but he did seem sincere.

But it's Evan who really takes the cake.  He is such an instigator-I haven't read the book, but you should drop Josh and hook up with me... Evan is just creepy and pushy.  Then he describes himself as a self-appointed guardian of the women.  He seems very calculating.  He went to Amanda not once, but twice.  I don't think he actually thought he could 'woo' her away from Josh, but he certainly brought a lot of attention to himself.  As for Josh talking in a 'word salad' when Evan was questioning him about his actions towards Andi, Josh did not owe Evan anything.  Evan was purposefully egging him on, just like he did with Chad.  He pushes all of the buttons in order to appear to be the 'mature and sensitive' one.  Evan just uses anything he can in order to get attention.  In the very first episode he didn't even know who Nick was, let alone how Josh was Andi's chosen one.  Yet, he uses that season and Andi and Josh's breakup in order to sow discard in his attempt to get a woman and fame.

Oh, and Carly looked 100% better with her hair up as the two extreme colors of her hair weren't as distracting when her hair is pulled back.

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5 hours ago, Wandering Snark said:

... Because did anyone see moles on on twin's face?? ...

Bwaaaaaahaha! Through the amount of makeup they wear on this show? Like that would even be possible? Seriously though, I did notice them only when she was in the sun and it hit her face on just the right angle....then you can see their slightly raised reflection in the sheen of her makeup (kind of like a poor spackle repair on drywall that has been painted with a slightly glossy paint). Can't be seen from straight on, but easy to see in the right angle

Edited by bblancobrnx · Reason: Clean up quote
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I like the twins, particularly Emily of the tons of moles (eye roll.)  I wish there was some nice way to explain it all to her, she's sweet, funny and pretty, but I think the men grow bored with her conversation.  I hate to think that, in this dopey group, they're all too smart for her, but at least Daniel, Nick and Jared are.  Caila does have fabulous hair and a pleasant personality, but other than that, I don't see the "perfect."

Oh Evan.  He walks up to make his big play for Amanda wearing sweat pants.  She kindly tells him that she isn't interested but that when she first met him he had "surprised," her.  Evan translates this to, "I was really into you, Evan and we could have had a wonderful romance but Josh came along and just as soon as that burns out It will be you and me forever!"It was nice to see how happy Vinnie and Izzy are.  They both seem so normal, good for them, bad for the show.

Josh is so disgusting that Amanda has become disgusting by association.  How can she spend the day with his food covered tongue in her mouth and his sweat soaked shirt wrapped around her?

Everyone keeps "warning," Amanda, saying that Andi  said he was "verbally aggressive," but no one has read the book and no one has anything specific to say. I think he probably is aggressive, he competes with other men aggressively and he sweats aggressively, but maybe passive Amanda likes that.  I'm all for leaving them alone, she's been warned, they're both revolting.

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Let Josh's redemption tour be a lesson to all reality TV famewhores:   TPTB aren't your friends as his rep is sinking faster than the Titanic ever did from his edit and well frankly him acting like a boorish jerk.  

He had lots of sympathy after Andi's book came out but now, after just two episodes of BiP, he is getting slammed in the media and on twitter.     I don't think even his Mama can call out all the negative posts he's now getting but she sure is going to try!

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I just can't help but think that Amanda is nuts for thinking it is okay to make out with someone on TV on a regular basis when you have 2 children at home you claim to love so much.  Even if they aren't watching, the rest of the community can see it, and obviously she isn't coming across well.  The children will be going to school at some point, and the rest of the parents will know Amanda as the girl that looks for a husband on TV and makes out in front of everyone constantly.  

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The best part of this show is how they make fun of themselves!

I love that Nick is getting his redemption edit and Josh is looking like an ass!!

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What has Josh done though? All of the people who come on the show have the opportunity to ask an existing person on a date and they all do. Many of them also go on a date with one person and then switch to someone else. It's a bit like speed date, island style. I keep hearing that Josh has been awful since he came on the show, but why? In his conversation with Evan last night, he spoke calmly and rationally. Yes, he was sweaty and for some reason the show wanted to show him eating, I'm sure they all eat.

To me Nick hasn't done anything great and Josh hasn't done anything awful. The only one I think that is acting like a jerk is Evan. And Daniel for sipping water out of Vinnie's belly-button. My husband watched that with me and actually gagged. EWW. 

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21 minutes ago, alexa said:

Amanda is nuts for thinking it is okay to make out with someone on TV on a regular basis when you have 2 children at home you claim to love so much.

Her children are 2 and 4 which means the youngest was practically a baby when she was on Ben's season which makes it even more sad. But somebody at home has to be enabling her, I know if I told my parents I needed them to watch my daughter so I could be on two reality shows they would have told me no way, take responsibility for your own child. LOL

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Evan is totally Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber:  So you're saying there's a chance....

BuzzFeed quiz:  Is Josh's moan from stuffing his face with pizza or stuffing Amanda's mouth with his tongue?  And more important, does it even matter?  Dude is gross.

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Before the ladies handed out the roses, Carly was saying she wasn't sure whom she would pick.  The choice for her was between Evan (the one she claims she's trying to discourage), Brandon (the guy who was on her brother's season, whom she wanted to go with on his first day date), and one other guy (Christian, maybe?)  So she picks Evan.  I was livid.  I'm sure it was producer driven.  The two guys who ended up going home were far better choices.  Evan is such a loser and I'm mad at Carly for not taking the golden opportunity to get him off the show.

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Everyone keeps "warning," Amanda, saying that Andi  said he was "verbally aggressive," but no one has read the book and no one has anything specific to say.

I'm sure they're all very aware of the specifics in the book but the show itself probably suggested they not say it because there are very serious accusations against Josh that he could, if he wanted to, sue over. So it's sort of a touchy situation. I never read Andi's book because just no, and I know some of the very specific things written in the book because it's 2016 and people screen capped it. So I absolutely believe someone like Nick who says he didn't read it but "heard" things, meaning he probably saw the most sensational parts about Josh, just like me and many others did. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
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35 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

But somebody at home has to be enabling her.

Seriously, I'm amazed at these grandmothers that do so much.  My mother babysat my colicy baby for one evening and that was it, forever.

52 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

What has Josh done though? All of the people who come on the show have the opportunity to ask an existing person on a date and they all do. Many of them also go on a date with one person and then switch to someone else. It's a bit like speed date, island style. I keep hearing that Josh has been awful since he came on the show, but why? In his conversation with Evan last night, he spoke calmly and rationally. Yes, he was sweaty and for some reason the show wanted to show him eating, I'm sure they all eat.

Good points.  I called him aggressive but I think that's probably  just his macho personality.   Andi kept saying she wanted a man and by that she seemed to mean an athlete and gun owner with a swagger.  I think she got that and then didn't like it when it meant she couldn't have her way about everything.

 The constant making out is gross but I expect Lace and Grant have probably been doing as much, we just don't always have them on camera.  For some reason Josh and Amanda are our "stars," this summer.  The thing that bothers me is all the people telling Amanda, 'We don't really know anything, but be careful."  Careful how exactly?  What does  that even mean?  I hate it when people want to gossip but act like it's all about caring and spoken in vague inference, so that while they can claim they didn't actually say anything you're left  imagining all sorts of stuff. Evan's implication that the book must be true since Josh didn't sue for libel was pretty silly, too.  Andi covered herself there by not naming names.  I think she's the biggest jerk in all this.

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Caila is so beautiful and probably gets under the twins' skin because she's so natural and exudes a confidence that they have yet to find. Seriously girls, being catty is not a good look.

7 hours ago, chocolatine said:

I love how everyone talked about Andi's book, but nobody had actually read it. Did TPTB make a Cliff Notes version?

I read it. *shame/guilt* Spoiler tagged in case anyone cares:

Spoiler

I was Team "You're both annoying famewhores" but gave the book a chance. Basically Josh is a total fucking asshole. The part that stands out to me is about a wedding they went to together.  Andi was maid of honor and while she was taking bridal photos he left because he said she was "ignoring him". Then she chases him to the parking lot and asks him to stay. They walk back to the reception and he calls her a bitch loud enough that the wedding planner heard. Fighting continued and he left the wedding for good. Not only did he leave the wedding, he drove back to Atlanta that night (4 hours), leaving Andi her friends behind.

I am no Andi Dorfman fan but that tells me everything I need to know about Josh - angry, dismissive, controlling with MAJOR red flags.

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For some reason Josh and Amanda are our "stars," this summer. 

Are they? If they are, it's almost like the Joe and that woman situation last season because sure there's a lot of focus on them but it is definitely not positive. As for people disliking Josh,  I just think it's simply a case of people finding him smarmy and disingenuous and yes sweaty. It's not like viewers haven't always disliked many of these people for far less.

Edited by truthaboutluv
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23 minutes ago, woodscommaelle said:

Evan is totally Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber:  So you're saying there's a chance....

Yep! Haha, that is the first thing I thought when he was rambling about still seeing possibilities with Amanda!

I like how the luxurious double date was...a trip to Senor Frogs. Sweet! Great! Oh how I wish Lace had gotten in a fight with that random girl. She should have thanked her - she was probably slightly less sticky from that nasty foam once she had some water dumped on her. 

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Alcohol overdose is a medical issue all on its own. And yet Evan's coparty-er Carly wasn't at all drunk.

Evan is the worst actor in the world. He couldn't stop laughing after his dramatic scene. 

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I'm not one to threaten violence, and I have great respect for the snarky BiP editors, but I WILL maim the person responsible for dubbing in throaty moans over Josh and his pizza every five seconds. Gross. 

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Josh's kissing and eating noises were starting to gross me out.  I really hope they were edited in because that would become super annoying super fast.  And the excessive sweating too.  Gross.

In one of the long shots of the horseback date it really looked like a boob went flying out of that tiny top.  Ha ha

Jarrod must really like Caila.  I have never heard his accent before.  I think because his speech is usually slow and measured but his excitement about Caila is showing through his mannerisms and speech.

Don't they teach vocabulary in high school anymore?  How do these people not know simple words like condescending and glib?

I actually felt super bad for Christian.  It felt like he really liked Sarah.  His eyes and smile twinkled when he was with her and kissing her.  With Daniel, it felt like he kissed her because he felt like he had to.  It was painful to watch.  I am sad that she didn't pick the guy that was really into her and instead picked the guy that she "thought" would be a better match.  Christian seems like such a better person.  And that smile!!!....

The Lace bar tussle was weird.  Why did some random chick pour water on her?  Producer driven per chance?  Although they were being really tacky in a public place.

Evan....'nuff said.  Ew.  It looked like he was trying not to laugh when he was talking about how he really thought he had a chance with her.

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Something about Jared seems really wooden or robotic to me. I don't know if I can tell if he likes Caila since he always seems so low key. I think Daniel is really gross after the sipping water out of a belly button thing. I don't think he has any real interest in Sarah. It's hard to tell sometimes because they all only care about a rose and then lose interest once they get it. I think Josh and Amanda and Vinnie and Izzy really like each other, not sure about the others. I'm not even sure about Lace and Grant because they both seem like the types to be pretending to stay on TV. Christian does seem like a nice guy and he has a real nice smile.

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59 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

Are they? If they are, it's almost like the Joe and that woman situation last season because sure there's a lot of focus on them but it is definitely not positive.

Yes, I meant stars in the sense of focus of the camera and biggest story line, not that they were well liked.

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changed my mind

 

LOL.  Guess I should add it back now that someone 'liked' my post.  I'm on Weight Watchers and do not like pizza (it's weird, I know).  But I would have made out with sweaty, moany Josh for just one bite!

**hangs head in shame**

Edited by woodscommaelle
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