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S03.E01: Week 1: Season Premiere


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The hopefuls gather at their first cocktail party on the beach; Vinny and Izzy share their first kiss; Jubilee takes Jared on a date; back at the house, one contestant's out of control behavior offends everyone.

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Chad made himself look like an ass. HAHAHA at him telling Chris Harrison "come at me!".

But Sarah and Carly always get their feelings hurt on this show so it's hard for me to have much pity for them because they know what they are getting into. The majority of guys who come to BIP want to hook up with what they consider the "hot" women and when you are average in looks you are going to get overlooked on this show, whether that is fair or not that's just how it works.

  • Love 13
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Why does Chris Harrison keep saying this is a "second chance at love"?  Half of these losers are here for the third time.

Carly is talking about someone else being crazy??!  She's the biggest lunatic on the show!

Evan is butt ugly so I don't even know why he's here.  Jared is ugly too and I don't get why women throw themselves at him.  He's so pointy.

Grant is wearing women's shorts I guess to make up for a lack of floppy hair.  On Jojo's season the man with the floppiest hair and most feminine wardrobe won the whole thing so I guess he's hoping that strategy will work here as well.

I guess Lace also realized that having a curtain of hair is required of the women so she got some extensions for herself.  And if the twins want people to tell them apart, why do they have the exact same hideous hair?

I counted 7 "likes" in one of Jubilee's sentences so she's clearly a moron.

Chad is a fucking loser and it's so annoying how much time has been spent on him.

  • Love 10
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Chad needs therapy and shame on the producers for not cutting him off at the bar that night.   But they got drama and craziness that they wanted.  At least we know he's out of the running for the next bachelor.

And who knew Vinny with a better hair cut would look pretty hot.    

And I personally can't wait for Josh vs Nick, 2.0!

  • Love 10
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I got no entertainment from either Chad or Daniel.  Or anybody in the Greek chorus constantly commenting on Chad & Lace. 

In fact, the overwhelming, pulsating and palpable veil of desperation that covers this entire cast is downright sad.  I don't know how much of this I'm really going to watch.  

  • Love 17
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3 minutes ago, poopchute said:

Carly is talking about someone else being crazy??!  She's the biggest lunatic on the show!

She can be funny but she strikes me as being very bitter because she is insecure about her looks (which this show just makes worse for her which is why I think it's stupid she keeps coming back)

4 minutes ago, poopchute said:

I counted 7 "likes" in one of Jubilee's sentences so she's clearly a moron.

She seems like a mean girl so I don't want her to cry later about being overlooked or bullied.

  • Love 3
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I'm assuming Chad isn't 100% a monster of the show's creating. If so, he's the most elaborately made reality show contrivance ever, with layers and behaviors I don't think even the most savvy of teams would be able to craft.

Under that assumption, if the show isn't run by brilliant evil masterminds, this franchise is careening into reckless incompetence. The Chad phenomenon has already been run into the ground, and inviting him onto Paradise feels like they're laughing in the face of insurance and legal. The Bachelor isn't really built for these kinds of characters -- they don't have the ever-present vigilant security detail of a Bad Girls Club or The Challenge. 

Watching Chad in all his glory brings me back to the mid-aughts VH1 Celebreality era. Shocking in an entertaining way, yeah, but it kind of boggles my mind that ABC is playing with this kind of fire. All those "of Love" shows were abruptly banished from existence because they featured a dude on multiple spin-off shows who ended up being a straight-up murderer. Not saying I think Chad is capable of killing and dismembering someone (except yeah, I could totally see it), but ABC is showing their asses by letting this guy on to begin with, and then letting him run around unchecked after being fired. Again. If they're going to wallow in the dirt with openly unhinged violent cast members, they need to tighten shit up.

Edited by annewithaneee
  • Love 17
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For once Chris Harrison didn't lie to us.  He promised a train wreck and we got it. 

Too bad, because for the first 15 minutes of the Chad/Lace love affair, I thought they were a couple made in Heaven  (or Hell as Chris would say.) 

Evan changed his hair but he's still the same smug  kid in class taking  names and tattling.  Sarah would be a good match for Evan because she also likes to poke the bear and give lectures, but I think Evan wants to get in line for Amanda, right behind Nick and others to come.

Jubilee is as pretty as ever and I liked her new self-awareness about her resting bitch face.  I could tell Jared just wasn't that into her, though.

I'm glad Carly is there to give us the play by play, she's always been good at that.

Chad snoring on the beach while the crab made a cozy nest in his hair was my favorite part.  I think that same crab was chasing after him as he left.

Edited by JudyObscure
  • Love 11
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 The Chad stuff got annoying but this was actually not that bad. It was certainly not boring, I'll say that. I think the stuff with Sarah, him apparently disrespecting the crew and well all the other cast members wanting him gone is what did Chad in. I have to say I think Lace was at first just as culpable in what was happening between her and Chad but then even with her crazy, his crazy trumped hers and then it got really, really bad, really fast. 

Jubilee is so gorgeous and I have always liked her but she is so awkward with guys she likes and sad to say, I was not buying any interest from Jared towards her. I did crack up when she called Evan the penis guy. Daniel is unattractive and dumb as dirt, which made his cracks about the women rather ironic. Vinnie and Izzy had a nice chemistry. Not the most interesting but pleasant enough. Nick came across pretty well this episode and he was bringing the snark. I died when he said God just sort of shrugged and didn't even try when he made Chad. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
  • Love 10
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Missed the first half hour! So commentary coming in late... Tuned in just in time to see Daniel hoping his man crush Chad will be there.

lol! The producers and editors have SO much fun with this show--from the Love Boat-ish '70s music beach montage to Chad's Godzilla-type arrival. 

Was that Amanda or Sarah (I forgot already) gushing about trying to find some good about Chad under the douchebag exterior and Carly responding, "That makes me sad about life." Ha!

We've heard more from Daniel than in his entire stint on The Bachelorette and, oh, boy, I've got mixed feelings. He's fallen far since his Hitler/Mussolini talk, but he's perfect for this show. I guess that's why they didn't show much of him there, as they cast him and were saving him for this show.

Lace is trying to out-Chad Chad. But Chad must not have seen Lace's show to know she's arguably crazier than he is. They are really getting each other worked up with this alpha mate crap, both antagonizing the other on purpose just to show the other s/he won't back down. New levels of dysfunction I've never seen--I guess because this kind of match-up won't make it past one night without imploding.

Daniel: They think you're Hanibal Lector.

Chad: Dollar dollar bill, yo!
...

Chad: You're being so unmurdery. You're going to get unmurdered.

Wow. Chad is crazy drunk! And he's the first to get crabs in paradise--but not the way he was hoping. Daniel wasn't too far off the mark saying he'd have more of a chance of making out with a turtle at this point. Turtle, crab--close enough.

Chad is  "the guy version of the old Lace"?! Where's the "new Lace"?!

Oh, Chad better not have disrespected Jorge! All right. Even I can't defend Chad anymore. He went too far too fast. He wasn't funny. He was drunk and belligerent, and I'm sure everyone was legitimately scared of him. I thought the security guards in the last series was overkill, but he was definitely unhinged talking about everyone being unmurdered and even trying to hit his BFF Daniel. Then, as previewed, Chad drops the F bomb on Harrison and gives him the "come at me." Tune in next week to see whether Harrison throws down. It saddens me to say, you are now dead to me, Chad. Ah, well, life goes on... Every Monday AND Tuesday! Yes!!

Edited by JenE4
  • Love 9
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I am just watching now and have not read this thread.  I could not contain myself.  I had to come and  say I hate those stupid twins.  I find their twinnie act obnoxious and not at all entertaining.  UGH!

OK, done.  I will be back later. 

  • Love 10
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I missed most of tonight's show. But I did see the sequence that led to Chad getting the boot.

If he knows how the system works, why does he keep giving TPTB what they want?!? The scene with him yelling at Chris Harrison while the man just stood in smug silence...? That was UnREAL.* Literally. 

All I thought was,"You know what they want, and you're giving it to them!!" 

Pardon my frustrated mini-rant. As you were! ;)

 

*A reference to the TV show. If you haven't seen UnREAL and you watch any of the Bachelor shows, watch a few episodes. It'll give you an idea of how this program works

  • Love 4
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That was the new Lace? Yikes. (Although I did love her giving it back to Chad until it got out of hand.)

Amanda and the Doublemint twins cracked me up sitting there, munching on snacks and taking in the entertainment.

This show is pure trash and it doesn't pretend to be anything but. I kind of dig that they know how stupid it all is. 

  • Love 14
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Lots of really bad hair extensions and extremely dark roots on the ladies of night 1.  It already all looks fried, dry and tortured by salt, sun & wind. These ladies are NOT going to be looking good at the end of episode 8.  

By the end of the day, Vinny was already showing signs of bad sunburn on his arms.  I hope Sarah, Carly & Jared advise everybody to constantly load up on SPF 50.  I hate to see all those folks in obvious pain.  

And yes, the twins do come off as shallow, judgmental little tattle-tales.  They proved that in Ben's season. 

Edited by leighdear
  • Love 6
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I was multitasking during the show but even then found it difficult to watch.

These shows have never been shy about the role alcohol plays in manufacturing drama, but this was well beyond someone being just drunk and stupid.  If he was really as impaired as they portrayed him to be (stumbling and pooping in his pants), he should have been cut off.

Calling out Sarah was just way wrong. 

The show is supposed to be about shallow people hooking up on a beach with a side of ridiculous angst thrown in. Instead, we barely saw Jubilee and Jared's date (and if a clown came at me on a date I'd be hella more freaked out than she was) or Izzy and Vinny together, or Nick being Nick. It was more of a PSA on the dangers of binge drinking. 

I did find Daniel vaguely amusing and would love to see him fall for a girl. It seems he's more comfortable being sarcastic or hanging out with his buddy Chad than actually taking a risk on liking someone. 

  • Love 6
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A couple of observations:

I was complaining in some of the JoJo Season Episode threads about Chris Harrison trying to bond with the (typically much younger) male contestants.  And sure as shit, he started with the "how arya brutha?  Fuck you Chris Harrison!  And double-fuck you Chad for stealing my line.  You dickless shithead.

Speaking of Chad, anyone catch his whining that "What can I do now?  I can't do anything now.  I can be the Bachelor now"?  Just more proof that a lot of these losers actually see the Bachelor Franchise as their career.  

I still don't care for the single-mother (Amanda?).  And I really don't like that leprechaun Nick.  So I'm kind of stoked for the two of them to hook up because things never end well for the guys who play with the single moms.

  • Love 6
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Too bored to talk about Chad.

I find the twins so exhausting. Yes, you're twins and wear the same clothes and style your hair exactly the same, and run around the beach holding hands. But don't you dare not be able to tell them apart!

Did I really hear Sarah snark on Izzy when she walked in? Something about going home the first day on her season and that she looks like everyone else? Sweetie you're on your second season of Bachelor in Paradise.

  • Love 13
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I had almost no tolerance for Chad to begin with, and I certainly am not watching BiP for him (I am watching for Carly.). And I have watched enough to know Sarah Herron certainly has her flaws, her raging insecurity being first and foremost. But for Chad to ridicule her for having one arm proves what a pathetic piece of shit he really is. And on the subject of shit, as far as I am concerned Chad can go choke on on his shitted up shorts. Fuck that guy. 

Edited by reggiejax
  • Love 11
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1 hour ago, poopchute said:

Why does Chris Harrison keep saying this is a "second chance at love"?  Half of these losers are here for the third time.

Carly is talking about someone else being crazy??!  She's the biggest lunatic on the show!

Evan is butt ugly so I don't even know why he's here.  Jared is ugly too and I don't get why women throw themselves at him.  He's so pointy.

Grant is wearing women's shorts I guess to make up for a lack of floppy hair.  On Jojo's season the man with the floppiest hair and most feminine wardrobe won the whole thing so I guess he's hoping that strategy will work here as well.

I guess Lace also realized that having a curtain of hair is required of the women so she got some extensions for herself.  And if the twins want people to tell them apart, why do they have the exact same hideous hair?

I counted 7 "likes" in one of Jubilee's sentences so she's clearly a moron.

Chad is a fucking loser and it's so annoying how much time has been spent on him.

When did using the word "like" a lot make someone a moron? It is clearly a learned vocalized pause that many Americans use. Are we calling people morons when they use "ahm" too? Seems like a very simplistic way to look at language and people.

  • Love 6
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I was bored with Chad before he even came on, and then he came on and acted like a moron. That can't all be faked. Him and his ugly on the inside pal Daniel can just go away. So Jared is back for another season. Last time around he acted like he had zero interest in any of the women and just went along with Ashley I so he could stay around. I get the impression it will be more of the same this year. I'm curious about him-you hear the other guys talk about women they hope will be there or women they find attractive, but Jared just kind of hangs around. Jublilee is very pretty and I wish she could find someone, since she is one of the more normal ones there. But Jared will not be the one I think. And what was up with their date with the pervert clown? Did the clown say Jared was losing his hair? Funny but strange.

Had no clue who Izzy was and not thrilled with Sara and Carly who are both bitter and need to find other ways to find men. Lace seemed kind of nuts again and who was left? Oh, single mom Amanda is Ok. Twins who have to be a package deal are never going to get actual boyfriends. 

  • Love 6
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Let me say first that I LOVE this show.  The production room must look like UnREAL.  I would love to be there!  I am bored with the bachelor franchise so I welcome this with open arms.  

George (bartender) shown crying in the previews was asked to 'over serve' Chad.  They fueled the fire they wanted to create and did a stellar job at that.  Plying an alcoholic with drinks is so "UnREAL"

Sara, you have had one arm your entire life and you are going to get upset at Chad, of all people,  for his crude comment?  Snap out of it and be strong.    And she didn't even hear him say 'Army Mc Armison.'  That was really bad.  

I am happy to see Chad will be back next week or so it appeared.  Think of it this way.  He is taking air time away from the twins (our teeth are different, morons) gallivanting  hand in hand across the landscape and Ashley I in tears.  See?  There is a bright side to everything.

I like Nick (yes, some of us do) and I dislike Josh.  He is a cocky hot head. 

Carly (I like her) got her eyebrows in shape but she needs help with the hair.  Nuf said, we all saw it.  I like that she is pairing with Evan.  I like him, too, now that I see him more clearly. 

Thundering applause and standing ovation to the production team.  Job well done! 

Edited by wings707
  • Love 9
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Glad to see Vinny on the show!  The Italian boys get passed over for the Ken dolls and he seems cute and cool. 

I was going to give Evan a chance and then he started chasing Chad and crying about his behavior once again.  He made hall monitor in jr high and never got over it.    Glad Jubilee was aware of her bitch face.  

Lace instigated Chad.  Abuse (even in 'fun') breeds abuse.  She too should cut back on the booze and maybe think about getting just a touch of filler for that top lip. 

I like Carly but her hair (again) needs help.  She does however look better than she did with the ultra bleached hair and black eyebrows.  She somehow puts herself in friend-zone territory.  There really is nothing wrong with her looks.  

I cannot stand Josh Murray and glad to see he is demeaning himself by being on the show.  Guess you aren't so special after all.  He's a conceited douche. I hope Ashley I hooks on to him and makes bat-shit crazy.   I love Ashley I. Such a little nut case she is.  

  • Love 4
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I had to look Izzy up - apparently she arrived out the limo on Ben's season in a onesie and was sent home the first night. And I still don't remember her at all.

Jorge crying in the previews had me laughing and then totally concerned for him because he's the only person on this trainwreck show I actually care about lol.

  • Love 6
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Ok, so I don't know any of the brunettes, but holy hell all the blondes look the same (like there's not just twins, but quadruplets or however many of them there are), except for Sarah and (fake blonde) Carly.

ETA: not that the other blondes aren't fake. they just seemed extra blonde. Also, LOL at the extended scene with the crab near Chad's head. And Chris Harrison looked like he was trying not to laugh while Chad was yelling. 

These women need to seriously chop their ratty ass extensions off. And wear lighter fake lashes. How do they lift their eyelids with those caterpillars on their eyes?

Edited by MattDuffysCat
  • Love 7
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3 hours ago, bosawks said:

Did they really try to insinuate that Chad put back on the board shorts he pooped in!?!?

I do confess to loving the crab trying to make a home in passed out Chad's hair.

They did insinuate that Chad put on the poopy pants.  I think the crew, cleaned him up, put him to bed and washed his shorts.  OMG!  The great Chad pooped his pants.  How pathetic.  I am shocked he went on ATFR.  He probably had to show to get his BIP check.

1 hour ago, wings707 said:

Let me say first that I LOVE this show.  The production room must look like UnREAL.  I would love to be there!  I am bored with the bachelor franchise so I welcome this with open arms.  

Sara, you have had one arm your entire life and you are going to get upset at Chad, of all people,  for his crude comment?  Snap out of it and be strong.    And she didn't even hear him say 'Army Mc Armison.'  That was really bad.  

I am happy to see Chad will be back next week or so it appeared.  Think of it this way.  He is taking air time away from the twins (our teeth are different, morons) gallivanting  hand in hand across the landscape and Ashley I in tears.  See?  There is a bright side to everything.

Thundering applause and standing ovation to the production team.  Job well done! 

I think UnReal hits close to home and is probably right on the money.  Normally I would wash dishes, flip back and forth on the tv......I WAS GLUED TO THE SET!

Ashley - If you are going to cry all the time then don't bother with mascara - sheeeeeesh

  • Love 3
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Well, that was everything it was teased to be.  What a train wreck.  If Chad was a mature person, he would have just said, "Look everyone, I'm sorry, I had too much to drink last night and I said a lot of things I shouldn't have said.  Please forgive me."  But of course he can't do that, right?

I'm like Daniel and meh on some of the girls there.  Carly?  Ugh, not again.  Sarah?  Again?  Thought it was hilarious when the blonde twins walked in and Daniel sat up a little straighter and said, "Oh, here we go..."

Lace resembles Morena Baccarin.

Izzy?  Who are you?  Nobody there apparently knows you are too.  You got sent home the first night in Ben's season?  So why are you here?  

I fail to see why women fling themselves at Busted Ashton Kutcher.

  • Love 6
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Evan really seems obsessed over Chad. Talking about him even before he  got there and then the suitcase opening to see if there was protein. Evan acts like a pre-teen over Chad. 

Lace going from Grant and jumping at Chad doesn't seem like a new Lace. Still the same crazy.

No idea who Izzy is. 

  • Love 5
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2 hours ago, comosedice said:

When did using the word "like" a lot make someone a moron? It is clearly a learned vocalized pause that many Americans use. Are we calling people morons when they use "ahm" too? Seems like a very simplistic way to look at language and people.

I can only speak for myself but I've always thought that someone who uses "like" every other word in a sentence is a moron.  Many Americans do use it and if other Americans on this show use it as often as Jubilee does I will be happy to call them morons as well!  

  • Love 10
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2 hours ago, Suzysite said:

On a scale of 1-9... Chad's mean, crazy, drunken, murder-y antics were an 11.    I thought I'd be entertained by him, but he needs psychiatric help. 

Or an exorcist.

No joke, if Chad ever killed someone, I wouldn't be surprised. 

  • Love 2
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7 hours ago, C76 said:

I missed most of tonight's show. But I did see the sequence that led to Chad getting the boot.

If he knows how the system works, why does he keep giving TPTB what they want?!? 

... because even after all this, he got to appear on After the Final Rose which was filmed after this show.   And Chris and Wells were all "maybe Chad will find redemption" when they already knew what happened.

 

BTW, anyone know when TMTA was filmed?  Was that after BiP too?

  • Love 1
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25 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

 

BTW, anyone know when TMTA was filmed?  Was that after BiP too?

BiP filmed over a couple of weeks in June.

Men Tell All was a couple of weeks ago, mid-July so everyone that was at MTA knew what had gone down in Mexico with Chad.  

  • Love 2
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6 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

And what was up with their date with the pervert clown?

Wasn't he creepy?   He seemed to have his tricycle horn in his pants.  Maybe he was like the rodeo clowns, really there to provide distraction if the bull, or Chad, started to charge the regulars.

  • Love 6
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Quote

I cannot stand Josh Murray and glad to see he is demeaning himself by being on the show.  Guess you aren't so special after all.  He's a conceited douche.

Thought I was alone in my dislike of Josh Murray (well it's more "I don't get it" than dislike because I don't care that much about him). Conceited indeed and I'm not sure what he has to be conceited about - oh right, once upon a time he supposedly played baseball.

Per the preview, I see not much has changed - he's still seems slightly manic, too tan and shiny with the blinding white teeth and looks like Gaston from Beauty & The Beast. It also seemed like he too needs to lay off the steroids with the crazy eyes and yelling he was doing at Nick in some of those clips.

eta: I forgot to mention one of my eye-rolling/irritated moments. When Amanda showed up (and did she do something to her face because I swear in the closeups, something about her face seemed off to me) talking about how she did fall for Ben and saw a future with him and her kids, then talked about hoping that she could meet a husband in Paradise and father for her kids. Um Amanda, your kids have a father. 

This is the thing that frustrates me about some of the contestants with kids on this franchise. Do you but it's the whole "looking for a father" for my kid(s) that annoys me. I am not as annoyed when the person is dead like in Emily's case so Ricki really did not have a father anymore but when you're just divorced and you're sharing custody with your ex as seems to be the case with Amanda and her ex, shut it about this "find a father for my kids" nonsense. 

Edited by truthaboutluv
  • Love 17
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12 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

when you're just divorced and you're sharing custody with your ex as seems to be the case with Amanda and her ex, shut it about this "find a father for my kids" nonsense. 

Seriously.  I was divorced for a while with a ten year-old boy and I didn't like the men I dated to even hint about being a father to my son. He has a father living two blocks away!  See! There he is in the car outside picking him up for school!

  • Love 16
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Vinny is the most attractive guy there - he really rises to the top in this group.

Lace - I think she was into the playing around when it was light bickering, teasing, but then he really started using coarse and vulgar language and she drew the line there.  I was kind of getting a no means no vibe there.  Like no matter how much you play around with the pinching and slapping, when it goes to far, you know it.

The twins: I think it is stupid anytime they make contestants a 2-for-1 package.  If the twins are here to establish being their own person, and they are not going to go for the same guys, then they should be up for regular RC rules like anyone else.   I didn't like this when they did it last year with Ashley and her sister and I don't like it now.

Edited by FamilyVan
  • Love 17
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