Jump to content
Forums forums
PRIMETIMER
aquarian1

Favorite Quotes: Oh, I'd wear clown makeup if I thought it'd get me a conviction.

Recommended Posts

9 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Suspect: "I don't know nothin' about nothin'."

Lennie: "Yeah, we know. Because if you did know anything about anything, you would know that keeping a weapon in your apartment is a parole violation."

Oh, I can remember hearing Lennie say that but I can't remember what episode that was!! Is that the one with basketball player ordering the hit on a woman pregnant with his kid?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Yeah, that was A Losing Season. Good memory.

Also? A random conversation between two patrol officers:

"You're just like my wife. When we go to Jones Beach with the kids, she needs to use the bathroom five or six times. Why can''t you put a cork in it?"

"Maybe if you had put a cork in it, she wouldn't have had six kids and ruined her plumbing."

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post

n"Ritual"

Jamie visits a neighbor of the Martin family to find out if the father or mother left the house and killed the Uncle.

 

Jamie: How did Allison get along with her mother?

Neighbor: Mrs. Martin keeps both eyes on her. 

Jamie: Hard to blame her.

Neighbor: Even in small things. Allison bought a makeup kit and asked Kim Buckner across the hall how to use it. Her mother found out.

Jamie: She wasn't happy?

Neighbor: Oh no. She came right out and yelled at Miss Buckner. Called her a slut. She is but that's not the point.

Edited by Arcadiasw
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Scrambled

 

Abbie: They’re not property. You can sell property. It’s illegal to sell embryo.

Jack: It’s legal to destroy property. Women have the right to abort fetuses which are a hell of a lot more developed than embryos.

Adam: Very good. This is the kind of thing you don’t want to get into.

Abbie: You’re arguing from abortion rights?

Jack: You don’t like abortion rights?

Abbie: Any woman with a brain ought to figure out a better method of birth control.

Adam: See? This is just where we don’t want to be going.

 

DWB

Mr. Davis, a witness, tells Anita he saw with the victim (a black man) getting beat up by two white men.

Mr. Davis: Those white men were whalin' on the brother.

Anita: What happened after that?

Mr. Davis: Don’t know. I went about my business. Can I go now?

Anita: As soon as we write up your statement.

Mr. Davis: No. No. See I told you but I ain’t telling anybody else. I don’t want no trouble with the man.

Anita: You don’t have to worry, Mr. Davis. In this house. I’m the man.

Anita gives Lennie and Rey instructions on where to go next on their case after telling them what Mr. Davis said

Anita: Profaci will take his statement. You two find that Cutlass.

Rey: The Parking Violations Bureau?

Lennie: Great, the first circle of hell.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Lennie: "What about his tattoo?"
Rodgers: "Midlife crisis. Some guys get a sports car, some guys get a tattoo."
Lennie: "What did you get?"
Rodgers: "27 year old boyfriend."

Loved that. Go, Rodgers!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

From "Navy Blues" -

Jamie (after it was discovered that a trailblazing female Navy pilot was not only guilty of the crime of which she was accused, but was also a bad pilot): "It's like finding out Amelia Earhardt flew to Bakersfield and hid out for 50 years."
Jack: "I got over Pete Rose."

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

From Gunshow, which is on Sundance right now:

Defense Lawyer: "My client is a healthy young man. Life without parole, that could be fifty or sixty years."

Abbie: "He could always take up smoking."

I <3 Abbie.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

From Sideshow, an H:LOTS crossover where they're investigating the murder of a Baltimore political figure. Briscoe and Munch are questioning potential witnesses in a lesbian bar.

Witness: "I've never seen her before. Are you sure she was gay?"
Munch: "I'm never convinced that a woman is gay until she personally rejects me."
Witness: "You must know a lot of lesbians, then."

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

From Flight (1998) when a bio-supplier won't disclose if it shipped to a sleazeball who injected his own son:  

Adam Schiff:  "They know how to play the four-corners.

This episode aired on Ion today and is presented in celebration of the North Carolina Tar Heels going to the Final Four this week! It's a sign, it's a sign!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

Another classic McCoy-Schiff dialogue that I just heard on TNT again and decided to post, from season 6'a Atonement : They are discussing the case where an obsessed limo driver killed a model and the defense is saying he was a jealous lover and the dialogue goes like this 

Jack McCoy "There's a world of difference between a jealous lover and some horny bastard who's mad he can't get to first base!" 

Adam Schiff "Eloquent ; I can't wait to hear your closing argument"

Steven Hill was the best at delivering deadpan lines like that, his delivery was hilarious and brilliant. That bit of a dialogue always makes me laugh out loud everytime I watch the episode. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

A couple of other funny lines that I heard last night on the TNT overnight episodes : 

From Barter, when McCoy is discussing the case against loan shark Bunny Russo, he is talking about how getting possible past crimes admitted established a pattern of facts, and Schiff responds "the only pattern here's you got no facts!" Hilarious line and delivery. 

From Matrimony 

Adam Schiff, about the victim and his wife "He's 74, she's 22?" 

Jack McCoy "Why Adam, you want to know if she has a sister?" 

Matrimony had a lot of hilarious lines, from the main characters to the victim's wife and her mother, such as when the mom went on the rant at the end confessing and had the line about being "the dancing naked idiot family". Another thing that I find funny in that episode is when Briscoe and Curtis enter the room to talk to the wife and she casually greets them as "Leonard" and "Rey". It just cracks me up how she casually addresses the detectives by their first names as if they are old friends when she has met them like one time, and because I don't remember any other witness-suspect doing that over the course of the show, it's just funny. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

Another thing that I find funny in that episode is when Briscoe and Curtis enter the room to talk to the wife and she casually greets them as "Leonard" and "Rey". It just cracks me up how she casually addresses the detectives by their first names as if they are old friends when she has met them like one time, and because I don't remember any other witness-suspect doing that over the course of the show, it's just funny. 

I usually hate the way-too-young wives of old men in dramas like this one, but this one turned out to be a real sweetheart who actually liked her old man. It seemed totally in character that she would be naive enough to think of the detectives as friends. I imagine that after she got over her mother killing her husband, she lived happily -- and very richly -- ever after.

Edited by CoderLady
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

From Scoundrels, which is airing on WE right now:

Jack: "If you hadn't stolen that money, this murder would never have taken place."
Roger Thorpe Willard Tappan, with a breezy shrug: "I concede your point. If things were different, they wouldn't be the same."
 

Edited by Cobalt Stargazer
  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

Rodgers was awesome and her lines helped the actress make the most of her limited screen time.

My favorite: "This is why I love my job - free javelins."

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

From Return, which is on Sundance now:

Briscoe: (to the drag queen who is relieving "herself" against the wall in an alley) "Toreador?"

"Could you give a girl some privacy, please?"

"Y'know, we've had indoor plumbing for two thousand years."

Edited by Cobalt Stargazer
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

From Swept Away: A Very Special Episode, which was on Sundance last night:

Melanie Kaufman: (producer of the reality show the death of the week took place on to Briscoe and Green) "And before you start trying to intimidate me with what could happen if I don't cooperate, you should know - I've been in network television for eighteen years. I don't scare."

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
59 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

From L&O SVU 14.12 "Criminal Hatred" on ION today:
Finn: This guy would steal acorns from a blind squirrel.

SVU has its on board, so I think you should post SVU quotes over there. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
On ‎6‎/‎2‎/‎2017 at 8:51 PM, Cobalt Stargazer said:

From Swept Away: A Very Special Episode, which was on Sundance last night:

Melanie Kaufman: (producer of the reality show the death of the week took place on to Briscoe and Green) "And before you start trying to intimidate me with what could happen if I don't cooperate, you should know - I've been in network television for eighteen years. I don't scare."

I love when the defense attorney objects later in the episode to having the dying man's last words said because he couldn't know he was dying.  "Which must be made by a person contemplating their own death. There's no evidence Mr. Tatum believed he was dying at the time he made the statement". To which the Judge replies "He'd just been pushed off a rooftop, Mr. Behrens. I'd think that qualifies."

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post

"Steel Eyed Death" was on TNT today which has one of my favorite late season quotes -

Skoda: "Absent a medical history and a full neurological workup, Yeah, it's a crock. [pause] But I could be wrong."
McCoy "Ain't science grand?"

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

Mushrooms:

"You can't read, can you?"
"No."
"You can't read anything."
"No."

"I'm thinkin'...what about the boy who did pull the trigger? He'll be out in seven years. My baby would have been eight years old by then. Would you be satisfied?"

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Mushrooms:

"You can't read, can you?"
"No."
"You can't read anything."
"No."

"I'm thinkin'...what about the boy who did pull the trigger? He'll be out in seven years. My baby would have been eight years old by then. Would you be satisfied?"

Ahh, someone else was watching Wee\Tv with me.

I miss first season L&O. Stone and Robinette were my favorite legal team out of all incarnations and years. And that delivery between Stone and the witness was just heartbreaking. 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

From Sundown:

Jack: "Dig deeper. Find some women who aren't quite as....."
Abbie: "Stupid?"
Jack: "Romantic."

Yeah, I just saw that. Got a kick out of it.

Share this post


Link to post

It's from STIFF and I hope nobody gets offended by it's somewhat racial tone. While everybody is watching a video of the defendant putting his wife into some kind of coma and then having sex with the body. Ed has the best response to Abbie's inquiry.

Abbie: What do you call this?

Ed: Besides a bunch of crazy rich white people with too much time on their hands?

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
On 2/11/2016 at 1:45 AM, GHScorpiosRule said:

Stone: "Why don't we just take the gloves off, allright? And stop behaving like advocates."

 

Green: "He killed a man.  That's a crime. Hell, maybe it's even a sin.  But he was provoked."

 

Stone: "Do you really believe that? That he was provoked by a couple hundred hooligans?"

 

Green: "By a couple centuries of hate.  Between you and me, Ben, as a Black woman, I'm ashamed of what happened on that street."

 

Stone: "Are you? You have a hell of a way of showing it."

 

Green: "You don't get it, do you? I DON'T want that to happen again."

 

Stone: "No, you don't get it. By infantilizing your own people, you are guaranteeing that it will happen again."

 

Green: "After all these years, you really had me fooled.  I had no idea that your sort of liberalism only came out of the closet when it was fashionable."

 

Stone: "Shambala...just once, I want somebody to stand up in this country and say 'I did it.  I'm responsible for my actions.  Not my television set and not the color of my skin.'  And if it makes you feel good, to call me a racist...fine.  But if you're looking for who's responsible for racism these days, take a good look in the mirror."

 

Me: Wow. Amazing. Gave me chills.

 

*********************************************************

 

I don't want to bet nitpicky, when did Ben Stone and Ed Green have a conversation? Unless that is another "Green). If so, I apologize!

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, dttruman said:

I don't want to bet nitpicky, when did Ben Stone and Ed Green have a conversation? Unless that is another "Green). If so, I apologize!

 

1 hour ago, merylinkid said:

Shambala Green.

 

I was confused too.

And you will see in Ben’s last quote him calling her by name, Shambala. And I think I also mentioned the episode and season in my original quote so people would know it was her, and not Ed.? 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post

I don't remember episodes names and seasons.    It wasn't until I saw the name near the end that I realized that it was not a conversation with Ed Green.

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, merylinkid said:

I don't remember episodes names and seasons.    It wasn't until I saw the name near the end that I realized that it was not a conversation with Ed Green.

Yeah, I have a hard time matching the name with a face. I had to go back and look up the character and it all came together. I am surprised Stone didn't address her as "Madame"or "Ma'am", when he was having a heated discussion with her. With men he would address them as "Sir".

Share this post


Link to post
27 minutes ago, dttruman said:

Yeah, I have a hard time matching the name with a face. I had to go back and look up the character and it all came together. I am surprised Stone didn't address her as "Madame"or "Ma'am", when he was having a heated discussion with her. With men he would address them as "Sir".

That’s because they were colleagues, although on opposite sides, and respected each other. Shambala Green wasn’t one of those sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers. Stone only reserves those “Sirs” for those he holds in contempt.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

That’s because they were colleagues, although on opposite sides, and respected each other. Shambala Green wasn’t one of those sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers. Stone only reserves those “Sirs” for those he holds in contempt.

You reminded me if that scene Ben has with the murderer who thinks he's Ben's colleague, I love when Ben corrects him. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
14 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

That’s because they were colleagues, although on opposite sides, and respected each other. Shambala Green wasn’t one of those sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers. Stone only reserves those “Sirs” for those he holds in contempt.

I don't know about that, they were having a pretty heated discussion there and Stone was just as frustrated with her as he was with some of those "sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers".

Share this post


Link to post
Just now, dttruman said:

I don't know about that, they were having a pretty heated discussion there and Stone was just as frustrated with her as he was with some of those "sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers".

In this episode, yes. But as a whole, they were respected colleagues. This was Moriarty’s last season-this quote. If you didn’t watch from season one, and just saw this, you wouldn’t know that they worked very well together.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
12 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

In this episode, yes. But as a whole, they were respected colleagues. This was Moriarty’s last season-this quote. If you didn’t watch from season one, and just saw this, you wouldn’t know that they worked very well together.

If I remember right, most of the cases were obvious that her clients committed the crimes. It was just that she argued that they were all justified for some reason or another.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, dttruman said:

If I remember right, most of the cases were obvious that her clients committed the crimes. It was just that she argued that they were all justified for some reason or another.

As this is the quotes thread, I’m taking my response to the Defense Attorney thread.

Share this post


Link to post
On 11/23/2017 at 7:29 PM, GHScorpiosRule said:

That’s because they were colleagues, although on opposite sides, and respected each other. Shambala Green wasn’t one of those sleazy, conniving, unethical defense lawyers. Stone only reserves those “Sirs” for those he holds in contempt.

"And in polite society, Sir, we don't call others by their first names until we're asked."

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

Detective Lupo: "Left hand and a bowl of water, that's how it's done in half of the world"

LT Van Buren: "That's nasty"

Share this post


Link to post

A couple of great quotes from Adam Schiff in Golden Years which was on yesterday : 

Schiff “Young people tend to get impatient with old people, especially cantankerous ones”

Stone “Speaking from personal experience” 

Schiff “I’m a sweetheart. And I’m middle aged”

And then at the end of the episode 

Schiff “I’d do 2 years in Attica if I could come out 25” 

Adam Schiff always had the best lines, he was awesome.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

"Human Flesh Search Engine" was on TNT today. I had forgotten how good the dialogue was throughout this episode.

Bernard (on phone): "Who is this? Hey, screw you!"
Van Buren: "I'm guessing that wasn't your mother."
Bernard: " Somebody calling me a Nazi. You know, an hour ago, somebody called telling me that I needed to go on a diet."
Lupo: "Maybe that was your mother."

 

McCoy: “That place on the world wide web?”
Rubirosa: ”Actually, they don’t call it that anymore.”
McCoy: “Excuse me, should I have said wireless telegraph?”

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

From "Carrier" and only based on Jack's insanely stilted line reading of the defendant's quote in front of the appellate court: "Hey no baby, I don't wear rubbers. It's better bareback."

Edited by HunterHunted
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
On 2/25/2018 at 8:57 AM, HunterHunted said:

From "Carrier" and only based on Jack's insanely stilted line reading of the defendant's quote in front of the appellate court: "Hey no baby, I don't wear rubbers. It's better bareback."

It’s funny, cause Sundance will always censor the word “bareback” for some idiotic reason when they play the episode.  The unneccessaye censorship pisses me off to no end, it’s a complete joke, especially from Sundance, they censor mild, random stuff all the time yet they play R rated movies a lot with stronger content than L&O. Beyond irritating. I love watching on TNT cause they don’t censor anything.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
×