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The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie

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21 minutes ago, McManda said:

Don't stone me, but I actually think it's healthy to keep open communication with your SO, so I can't fault Jeremy for that. I'd want to try and help mine work through any frustrations in any part of his life or or relationship and I'd hope he'd want to do the same for me.

I think the assumption that Jeremy just confesses to Jinger about other women he'd like to bang is just that: an assumption. I didn't listen to the podcast (because Jeremy and Audrey Roloff actually make me cringe), but I have to think it's more like @GeeGolly thinks, that it's about any issues he might have (financially, spiritually, professionally, personally, whatever), so that they can figure it out. I think that's respectable and actually relatively good advice, otherwise your marriage is destined to decline and potentially fail. (You don't want to become resentful or spiteful like Jill and Derick!)

I also kiiind of agree with Jeremy's assertions that not having social media would be freeing. I know I'm something akin to addicted and wish I didn't have the compulsion to mindlessly scroll through Facebook, Instagram, or Reddit just because I was bored and didn't know what else to do. The only thing I disagree about is that he seems to spend enough time on social media that his actions don't follow his words. At least I own my media addiction.

It's true it is an assumption, but the fact he was surprised Jinger was willing to listen to it made me think it is not just garden-variety sin he's telling her about. 

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3 minutes ago, Zella said:

It's true it is an assumption, but the fact he was surprised Jinger was willing to listen to it made me think it is not just garden-variety sin he's telling her about. 

I don't know... religious people tend to blow any little sin/incident out of proportion. Exhibit A: Michelle mowing the lawn in her bikini. 

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5 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Totally agree. Including for Fundies. .... There's a reason the U.S. states with the highest population of conservative evangelicals (or Mormons) have repeatedly topped the "per capita porn usage" stats. 

I'm also fairly certain that, given what Jer's said he believes about masturbation, not only Jingle but virtually every married woman on the planet has been cheated on by her husband -- years before they even met! .....And a good majority of the married men have been similarly cheated on, I would surmise. 

I think we have enough evidence to put Jer in the same category I put JB in -- obsessed with sex, scared of sex, scared of the power of sex and super-guilty about sex....and therefore prone to make tons of ridiculous rules about sex that are laughable but sure do give them the excuse they need to think -- and talk --  about it. 

The difference, I think, is that JB actually lives by those rules, mostly because of deep conviction but also a smidge of--let's be real, here--lack of opportunity because he has no game. That conviction of his is probably partly due to that lifelong lack of opportunity. 

Jeremy, though? He's not going to stay "pure" forever. If he even is now, because I highly doubt that he doesn't masturbate. No one who preaches against it as much as he does abstains from masturbation. 

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5 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I don't know... religious people tend to blow any little sin/incident out of proportion. Exhibit A: Michelle mowing the lawn in her bikini. 

Right, but they still frame that as sexual, so I suspect even if it is something literally nobody else would care about, it still has some sexual component, thus his surprise at Jinger's willingness to talk to him about it.

Edited by Zella
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4 minutes ago, mynextmistake said:

If my husband were to tell me every time he found another woman hotter than me, you’d better believe i’d be fighting with him.

Agreed.  I think we also all understand the ‘married, not dead’ theory too.  Look quickly, don’t let me see you, and we are good.     

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Rereading the text again convinces me even more it is about temptation regarding other women since he specifically talking about in reference to "purity."

Also his note that he assumes it will hurt her. I don't think sharing more generic sins would have that effect, and I'm sure he knows that too.

Ditto for his comment about building trust. I don't think that would be applicable for sins that didn't involve him thinking of other women/lusting after them.

I think it is extremely disingenuous of him to then say she can fight with him. What a bunch of utter bullshit. If he has "committed adultery in his heart," as to quote Jimmy Carter, that's on him, not her, to rein that in.

Take a cue from Matthew 5:29 and pluck out your own sinful fucking eye, Jeremy, instead of putting it off on your poor wife! 

Edited by Zella
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I have read that three times...and it’s still all a total load.

We humans sure know how to make life unnecessarily complicated, don’t we...

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“We naturally think, if I share with her that I’m struggling with this thought or that thought, that it’s going to hurt her. Well, actually the opposite is true, it actually builds her trust. ”

This is the part that gets me the most.  Instead of showing vulnerability, a natural human reaction, she has to pretend to be this Godly crutch who will build strength and trust through his weakness.  Maybe she believes it too, but my soul would be crushed. 

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I can't imagine any real sexual temptations that Jeremy is struggling with at this time in his life. It's not like he works a 9 - 5 and is flirting daily with a co-worker. And his crowd seems to be primarily men and Jinger is often with him.

I'm guessing it's closer to watching beach volley ball and confessing he thinks they're sexy. However, for some women that confession might be devastating and compel them to work out and obsess over their own bodies. For most women I'm thinking they'd agree or disagree about the sexiness of the athletes' bodies and move on.

Edited by GeeGolly
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12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I believe much of what they say is not actually what they do. They like to publicly pontificate about all these religious platitudes, but at the end of the day, they all go home and behave in much the same way we all do.

Except when I'm mindlessly folding socks and towels, Jeremy and Jinger are ironing pocket squares and organizing baskets of bows.

Yep, I'd say you're absolutely right. They perform "religion" in public for professional status, glory and, whenever possible, money. 

Otherwise, it's a pretty ordinary life. (Except that women have to stay the hell out of any important classrooms or positions of influence....There is that little quirk of their "religion" that's still "different.")

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9 hours ago, Zella said:

Rereading the text again convinces me even more it is about temptation regarding other women since he specifically talking about in reference to "purity."

Also his note that he assumes it will hurt her. I don't think sharing more generic sins would have that effect, and I'm sure he knows that too.

Ditto for his comment about building trust. I don't think that would be applicable for sins that didn't involve him thinking of other women/lusting after them.

I think it is extremely disingenuous of him to then say she can fight with him. What a bunch of utter bullshit. If he has "committed adultery in his heart," as to quote Jimmy Carter, that's on him, not her, to rein that in.

Take a cue from Matthew 5:29 and pluck out your own sinful fucking eye, Jeremy, instead of putting it off on your poor wife! 

That's where it all falls apart for me as well...If it was just generic sin - things like pride or envy, which talking about as a couple might actually be beneficial - the emphasis here is so much on purity, trust, and potential hurt that it all points to "sins of the flesh". And if, as others here have said, it all boils down to things like happening to appreciatively notice an attractive face or body in passing (as human beings do), then why even take it all to the extent of hashing it over in conversation. Surely that would only make it seem all that much more of a significant and compelling moment than a mere double-take.

If he is talking about actual temptation on the level of women coming on to him, well, maybe  it might be good for Jing to be aware that it happens, though I can't imagine they are coming out of the woodwork and throwing themselves at him nearly as much as he might imagine. And if he needs that much extra prayer for the strength to fend off their advances, maybe his marriage is not as happy as he would have us believe. 

It also strikes me, which I don't like, because much as I don't really like Jermy I want to think that he's reasonably benign, as a potentially controlling move. As though he is stressing to her just how many beautiful women there are out there and how persistently they are pursuing him, so she had better make sure she can compete against them. 

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12 hours ago, Temperance said:

I don't know... religious people tend to blow any little sin/incident out of proportion. Exhibit A: Michelle mowing the lawn in her bikini. 

Agreed.

Him being so vocal about telling her his temptations reminds me of the magician, who keeps you focused on "the trick" going on in one of his hands with the express purpose of keeping you from noticing what he's doing with his other hand.

Edited by not you again · Reason: clarity
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We all know that "fight with me" is code for " fucks me immediately to rid me of temptation," right? It's also a perfect set up for blaming Jinger the day he does stray.

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I believe much of what they say is not actually what they do. They like to publicly pontificate about all these religious platitudes, but at the end of the day, they all go home and behave in much the same way we all do.

Except when I'm mindlessly folding socks and towels, Jeremy and Jinger are ironing pocket squares and organizing baskets of bows.

God, I hope so, because the one thing that I've always had a problem understanding is how they go about their days talking like that to each other all the time. All the other ridiculous stuff they do? Yeah, I can see it. But the way they claim their interpersonal relationships and conversations work is just so completely the opposite of any kind of human interaction I've experienced or witnessed--from normal and stable to completely toxic--that it blows my mind and I just can't picture it at all. 

Edited by lascuba · Reason: Forgot a word.
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On 7/25/2019 at 5:51 PM, fonfereksglen said:

He doesn't have a Hollywood smile because of his teeth.  I'm sure that will be grifted next.  

I'd be surprised if he hasn't been casting around for veneers. Cosmetic dentistry isn't cheap, but Hollywood glamour doesn't come cheap unless Jeremy can figure out a grift. 

I worked with a stylish gay man, who started wearing leather loafers without socks to work every day. Since he always bought expensive clothes, I couldn't resist offering him some peds to protect his shoes. He declined.  

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2 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

I'd be surprised if he hasn't been casting around for veneers. Cosmetic dentistry isn't cheap, but Hollywood glamour doesn't come cheap unless Jeremy can figure out a grift. 

I worked with a stylish gay man, who started wearing leather loafers without socks to work every day. Since he always bought expensive clothes, I couldn't resist offering him some peds to protect his shoes. He declined.  

Watching Jing and Jer transform is like watching Kate Gosselin.  Hair,  getting thin, probably teeth work for Jer.  Wonder if Jer will be one of the ex jocks on Dancing With The Stars, with his wife and child watching adoringly from the audience?  🤩🤩🤩

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Ooh Evil Fancing!! And with a woman who is not his wife!! 

Yeaaahhhh this should go over well with the Duggars. 

Fancing is Fancy Pants dancing, in case you didn’ Know. 

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1 hour ago, fonfereksglen said:

Wonder if Jer will be one of the ex jocks on Dancing With The Stars, with his wife and child watching adoringly from the audience?  🤩🤩🤩

I would watch this in a heartbeat. But only if his partner was Peta (and I didn't particularly like Peta, but she was better with some partners over others) because Peta's go-to for her dances was "sex sells". 

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13 minutes ago, Absolom said:

It appears to be run by a cabal of white/grey haired white men in dark suits robes.  There are a few not yet white heads among the apparent leaders, but I didn't see many.  

Hello, Catholic Church.  

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This bunch hates the Catholic Church.  They're Calvin all the way!  Too bad they can't see the resemblances.

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20 hours ago, lascuba said:

Jeremy, though? He's not going to stay "pure" forever. If he even is now, because I highly doubt that he doesn't masturbate. No one who preaches against it as much as he does abstains from masturbation. 

I don’t think Jer masturbates, I reckon he probably did before he was married though (maybe even a lot) sorry brain bleach I know 🤢. Him talking a lot about the evils of masturbation is probably because of guilt.

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On 7/13/2019 at 3:28 PM, GeeGolly said:

"She is everything opposite to what this world says a woman ought to be...".

Those words are a big part of what makes the uber Christians of this world scary. Any really, they should just substitute the word 'woman' with non-hetero, non-man.

Also, it’s bullshit because she’s tarted up to look like every Barbie-doll wannabe temptress that ever appeared in a promotional piece. Which is fine but shut up. If she was really opposite, she’d be in the Duggars’ old prairie garb or Handmaid’s Tale outfit. 

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On 7/26/2019 at 12:06 AM, Marigold said:

That has to upset her deep down, even if she doesn't acknowledge it. 

I think that’s a horrible thing to do.  That, more than anything else, tells me that he’s a SOB.

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4 hours ago, Absolom said:

This may be a good time to post this.  I said if I ran into them at their church I'd report.  I've kind of held back because there's nothing remarkable to say.  They were friendly, outgoing, warm, and personable.  There was no hint of arrogance from Jeremy in person.  They fit in with the congregation and didn't stand out from the rest of the people.  Felicity is a living doll.  So after sounding like a leghumper all I can say is at least attending church, they were an utterly normal apparently loving couple.  

Interesting to hear! Thanks for sharing!

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Probably the best thing Jeremy can do to reduce temptation is to not post 24/7 on Instagram like he’s a GQ model. He’s seeking the limelight like he’s a Hollywood man about town and who knows what comments, private messages he gets. Poor Jinger seems like she’s trying to keep up and I already suspect she restricts her eating that who knows what kind of influence this environment will have on her. Next thing you know she’ll be getting botox and breast implants. Jeremy’s vanity is going to be his undoing. 

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6 hours ago, Absolom said:

This may be a good time to post this.  I said if I ran into them at their church I'd report.  I've kind of held back because there's nothing remarkable to say.  They were friendly, outgoing, warm, and personable.  There was no hint of arrogance from Jeremy in person.  They fit in with the congregation and didn't stand out from the rest of the people.  Felicity is a living doll.  So after sounding like a leghumper all I can say is at least attending church, they were an utterly normal apparently loving couple.  

I believe it. Every story I've heard from leghumpers and snarkers alike is that all the Duggars are very nice, friendly people in person. I think Anna is the only one I've heard being kind of bitchy. 

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2 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I believe it. Every story I've heard from leghumpers and snarkers alike is that all the Duggars are very nice, friendly people in person. I think Anna is the only one I've heard being kind of bitchy. 

You know, now that I think about it, the people I know who have had superficial one-on-one interaction with the Duggars have usually thought they were very nice and personable. People I know who have had more extensive dealings are less complimentary, but it's never really about their personalities in person. 

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My opinion as to why the Duggars always 'seem' to be so nice and cordial to fans they meet is because first and foremost, they know those people are sending $$$$ their way. In any other circumstance, they would not be so gracious to 'mix with the heathens'. Their pre-TV lifestyle was all about insulating themselves from the 'unwashed masses'. JB and Michelle are fake as hell. Their children don't know any better and just behave according to their parents' wishes. It's all they know how to do.

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2 hours ago, floridamom said:

My opinion as to why the Duggars always 'seem' to be so nice and cordial to fans they meet is because first and foremost, they know those people are sending $$$$ their way. In any other circumstance, they would not be so gracious to 'mix with the heathens'. Their pre-TV lifestyle was all about insulating themselves from the 'unwashed masses'. JB and Michelle are fake as hell. Their children don't know any better and just behave according to their parents' wishes. It's all they know how to do.

Some of it is TV, for sure, but ironically, a lot of the folks I know who met them and said they were nice was pre-TV. These weren't fan exchanges but people meeting them in the course of their day. I'm sure the Duggars felt superior, but they apparently didn't let on in person.

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I'm also convinced that JinJer have cultivated a "church persona" by virtue of Jeremy's pastoral duties, such as they were. I'm sure they're very adept at putting on the smiling faces and projecting the perfect family image at church.

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4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm also convinced that JinJer have cultivated a "church persona" by virtue of Jeremy's pastoral duties, such as they were. I'm sure they're very adept at putting on the smiling faces and projecting the perfect family image at church.

You don't survive this culture, and these familial subcultures, without the ability to put on a pretty face.

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On 7/27/2019 at 11:45 PM, Zella said:

You know, now that I think about it, the people I know who have had superficial one-on-one interaction with the Duggars have usually thought they were very nice and personable. People I know who have had more extensive dealings are less complimentary, but it's never really about their personalities in person. 

I met JB and Mechelle at a political event, years ago! They did seem very nice, but the one odd thing I noticed was that they had all of us come to Michelle's side of the table to get autographs and pose for pictures. Everyone in my group was a woman, and we shook JB's hand and said hi, but we couldn't risk defrauding him with too much contact!

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I know their beliefs are horrid to me, but I have strict catholic friends with whom I strongly disagree. It’s all grey. I can still have fun with them and ignore so much stuff. I know that many people can’t do that and will cut those people out. I just choose to take the good and forgive the bad. 

I just don’t get the terrible stuff everyone sees in Jeremy  i don’t know him, so I really can’t say that he’s haughty and pretentious.  I think they look kinda fun for Duggars, and i would probably gladly have a meal with them to see what they’re all about in this new chapter of life  

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On 7/26/2019 at 7:34 PM, DCCme said:

And I confess my envy that you binged on nearly a pint of the new Halo ice cream stuff.  I don’t even know what it is and my envy is deep. Whew, confession is good for the soul.

As a follow up, I’d just like to note that confessing this did not make me want the ice cream any less, nor did it keep me from coveting said ice cream, or thinking longingly about the ice cream.  I can’t be 100% sure but I feel like my guilt level wasn’t lessened any when I consumed the ice cream. And yet still, I’m back to confess to y’all, I ate the ice cream.  There, guilt absolved right?  That’s how this works?

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On 7/27/2019 at 7:23 PM, farmgal4 said:

I think that’s a horrible thing to do.  That, more than anything else, tells me that he’s a SOB.

I'm still trying to understand what horrible deed Jeremy has confessed to. 

I've gone back through pages of posts and can't find what he did that demeans Jinger and that he should be shamed for. 

What did he do?

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Aethera

If your post is not PRIMARILY about the Duggars, it will be removed. Please stick to the topic or take it to Small Talk, thank you.

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