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S12.E05: Motorsports Tailgating


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I totally thought Ana was going to be the one to go.  Just when I thought Monterey had a glimmer of potential, too!  Why is Ana still there?  She must have a contract to last a specific amount of episodes, that's all I can think.  This show is so stupid anymore.  Video games to choose which order they pick their protein?  How low they have sunk.  And I thought they couldn't get any lower than cowboy Lenny pasting snickers bars to his hairy naked chest.

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Bobby has a thing for Ana, that's all I can figure. She really does look like she hates being there. I'd never in my life watch her doing a cooking show.

And did you catch when Bobby referred to Rob as a "Guy Fierri" type? See? We're right!!

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(edited)

I could not believe what I was hearing when Ana said that she didn't want to go "all out" when she was shaking so her boobs wouldn't fly around and Bobby actually said "go for it".  What???

Glad Monterey's gone.  Her spacey demeanor annoyed me far more than any of the other cooks' issues.

Giada's RBF sure is fierce.  Saw it many times tonight.

Edited by MerBearHou
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Cooks, yes, we did see Rob as a Guy type, now that Bobby said it we know that's probably intentional.  I could totally see him stuffing his huge maw with mile high pastrami sandwiches every week.

Ana is such dead space it's like she sucks the energy right out of you when you watch her.  It didn't surprise me that she equated going "all out' with going batshit nuts.  It's because it would be so hard for her to act naturally energetic that it would come out all weird and overcompensating.

This is the second week I can remember where the person who does the best in the first challenge gets eliminated.  Ugh.

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They need to give Ana a job behind the scenes developing recipes and helping the on-air talent with their dishes, because all of her food looks really good. She just has no business being in front of a camera ever again.

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(edited)

Looks like the fix is in for either Rob or Ana..

is Star Salvation still going..? Monterrey might be appearing on that soon..

and yes Giada is probably thinking of ways to keep Damiano on the show lol

Edited by TDT
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So Damiano hasn't used a turkey baster because Italy doesn't have turkey season (WTF? there are other birds) but decides to use it to dribble juice on a plate instead of a pastry bag and he is the winner? I found that entire thing dumb to begin with, because not one of the "food hacks" were worth doing, with the exception of using a muffin tin to make pineapple flowers, maybe. I can't stand Katie Lee's voice and know that is petty, but once they showed Robert Irvine was coming up, my completely non-petty dislike of his entire being kicked in, and I turned back to OITNB. 

A friend who watched the Lenny season asked me to start watching last year so she had someone to discuss it with; this and Masterchef US. She thought since I liked Masterchef Australia and the US version wasn't Hell's Kitchen, which I don't like, I would like to snark on both of these two shows. They are dumb and I feel I need to drink during them, so I am going to make her buy my a bottle of liquor. Or two. Maybe three. I wouldn't want to watch a cooking show of any of the dumb things they have had them do this year, such as the food hacks that are less useful than using a pan or whisk. 

Off to watch the Masterchef Canada finale.

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So I decided to watch the Star Salvation episode, and that 12 minutes was better than the first 20 I watched of FNS. I can see myself making some of that food, but not using a martini mixer as a double boiler, so maybe it's less dumb, or maybe it's just edited better because it's less people. I think I like Eddie and Valerie's commentaries better than Giada, too. Bobby is pretty hit and miss for me. 

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Erin!   Just when I decided I really did like you and thought maybe you should win (Pineapple in the muffin tin was the ONLY hack worth the time)   You have to blow it.   Robert Fuckin' IRVINE??????   You're getting all giggly and saying how he's your favorite person ever?   Oh Erin!  

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I am sooo tired of the Southern chefs trying to out Southern each other.

1 hour ago, cooksdelight said:

Bobby has a thing for Ana, that's all I can figure. She really does look like she hates being there. I'd never in my life watch her doing a cooking show.

I'm surprised she's been cast for two reality shows. She sucks all of the energy out of the room.

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I'm getting to the point where I can't be bothered to even read the comments here (no offence, love the snark usually, but there doesn't even seem to be anything left to snark about), never mind watch the show.

Ugh.

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Ugh.

West Coast feed here.  I actually had to go back and watch the DVR of Guy's Grocery Games as a palate cleanser.  This ep was that bad.

I don't care if they tell us she can cook.  I can't take any more of Tregaye.  Would I watch a FN program featuring her?  Hell, no - I'd break Mr. pig's fingers grabbing for the remote.

The virtual car thing was stupid beyond belief. The road trip whatever was totally idiotic.  Is this what we can expect now that Brooke and Kermit have left the building?

At least Star Salvation gave me a little bit of satisfaction.

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Giada was so happy Damiano won the first challenge, I thought she was going to start dancing. 

4 hours ago, MerBearHou said:

I could not believe what I was hearing when Ana said that she didn't want to go "all out" when she was shaking so her boobs wouldn't fly around and Bobby actually said "go for it".  What???

Especially when he told Damaris Phillips not to do it during her season.

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(edited)

What Damiano did with the turkey baster could be done with a spoon. I understand he had to think quick when it didn't work to fill the fritella, but if it were a less liked contestant, they would have been harder on that contestant about it.

As for Ana, I want to taste her food so bad! This is why I watch these shows, for the food, not the personalities, so I'm still rooting for her so I can watch her make more yummy food. I was SO dying to taste her natilla! I hope they post the recipe for it on TFN site (yes, there are tos of recipes for it online, but I want her recipe!),  

By the way, I think I have a soft spot for Ana because on the RHoM, she was still in love with her ex-husband, and was in so much pain that it broke my heart.

Edited by cherry slushie
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7 hours ago, J-Man said:

They need to give Ana a job behind the scenes developing recipes and helping the on-air talent with their dishes, because all of her food looks really good. She just has no business being in front of a camera ever again.

I'm guessing that's exactly what will happen. She's got NO on-camera appeal but they love her food.

Remember Jamie Lauren from TC and TC All-Stars? She didn't come across well on camera either, but she's working for Food Network behind the scenes. She gets all the ingredients ready for Chopped and the show about kids who take on a chef. She also travels for them and judges various competitions.

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I'm starting to like Ana too - for once someone who isn't falling into the Fiery Latino stereotype.  But I thought they said she was a lawyer?  Was I hallucinating?  Does anyone know what kind of law she practices?  Or used to since maybe know reality tv is her living.

Seemed like Jernard was getting a bit more Southern too in his speech.

I was starting to get more comfortable with Erin but I thought I head a "smidgeons" this ep.  And then Robert Irving?  Was she the one who said he reminded her of her Dad since he was military too?  Because my Dad was military for 22 years and he reminds me of Robert Irving.  In fact, only the young & extreme jarhead types remind me of Irving and they are all douches.

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Erin makes pineapple things in a muffin tin and then tells Bobby he's not supposed to eat it? WTF? Why bother doing something for a demo if we can't eat it?

This show has reached the pit. I bet Alton, Bob and Susie are high-fiving each other now that they are no longer involved.

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(edited)
8 hours ago, spiderpig said:

I don't care if they tell us she can cook.  I can't take any more of Tregaye.  Would I watch a FN program featuring her?  Hell, no - I'd break Mr. pig's fingers grabbing for the remote.

Yes, she comes across as annoying, doesn't she?   And her little finger wave isn't as cute as she (and Bobby)  think it is.   Her fushia/purple lipstick in one segment stood out to me as a poor choice, very distracting.  But by then end, she was wearing a much better color.

10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Why would a tailgating challenge where she was making a bratwurst be the best time for Erin to talk about baking?

Yeah,  that didn't make sense.   Does she have to bring up "I'm a BAKER!"  every week, just in case someone is on the show who doesn't know that?  Sometimes the task is near impossible, or at least confusing. "Tell us a personal story, a tip/hack, how you made this food, give us the recipe, AND taste it before the clock runs out - Go!"

3 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Erin makes pineapple things in a muffin tin and then tells Bobby he's not supposed to eat it? WTF? Why bother doing something for a demo if we can't eat it?

I think they were supposed to be part of the dish, but they got a little burned around the edges and didn't turn into flower "bowls"  like she wanted, so she said she was using them as a garnish.  Made no sense, you can't eat a little charred pineapple?

Edited by backformore
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What I can't stand is when these contestants try to do something that even I know can't be done in the time limit. Bone in/skin on half chickens in 30 minutes? Idiot. I would have cut her right then.

Using a turkey baster for something a spoon can do and winning? That's not a hack, it's a Rube Goldberg. Idiot. 

Telling the judges not to eat your garnish? Idiot. Don't you know you shouldn't put anything on the plate that can't be eaten?

Praising someone for the way she infused the brat with beer? Not talent. That happens when anyone cooks a brat in beer. Idiots. 

Telling the audience you need to leave the burgers alone with futzing with them and flipping them incessantly? Idiot. 

I could go on and on... Argh. This season they have picked a lot of idiotic cooks. I could cook circles around every one of them. 

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9 hours ago, xaxat said:

 

I am sooo tired of the Southern chefs trying to out Southern each other.

 

Oh my god yes. On the bright side we have been saved from the Texas ego this season.  

I know 3 people born and raised in the south, none of them have an accent.  

10 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Why would a tailgating challenge where she was making a bratwurst be the best time for Erin to talk about baking?

Robert is an ass.  Bobby and Giada think so too.  Good camera work guys; I appreciated you catching their expressions after Robert spoke. 

11 hours ago, MerBearHou said:

Giada's RBF sure is fierce.  Saw it many times tonight.

RBF?  BF is Bobby Flay but what is the R?

She has been flirting with him, shamelessly all season.  I guess their affair continues.  He has with her, too. 

I understood why Monterey was chosen to go above Ana.  Ana did not do all that much wrong this episode and Monterey tanked badly on the last challenge.  

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I can't think of anything to say about this episode.  There's no there there.

Aside to mods, while I have checked the gait of numerous ladies by focusing on their tail, the word in the subject of this thread does not exist.

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I swore I heard Ana say that tofu goes well with Ancient flavours and was wondering what that had to do with her grandfather being from China. Methinks I should either get my hearing checked, or actually pay attention when watching an episode.

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1 hour ago, wings707 said:

Oh my god yes. On the bright side we have been saved from the Texas ego this season.  

I know 3 people born and raised in the south, none of them have an accent.  

Robert is an ass.  Bobby and Giada think so too.  Good camera work guys; I appreciated you catching their expressions after Robert spoke. 

RBF?  BF is Bobby Flay but what is the R?

She has been flirting with him, shamelessly all season.  I guess their affair continues.  He has with her, too. 

I understood why Monterey was chosen to go above Ana.  Ana did not do all that much wrong this episode and Monterey tanked badly on the last challenge.  

RBF = Resting Bitch Face.

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13 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

This is the second week I can remember where the person who does the best in the first challenge gets eliminated.  Ugh.

How did Monterey do best in the first half? She served inedible food. Raw chicken is a real no-no to me

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52 minutes ago, hula-la said:

I swore I heard Ana say that tofu goes well with Ancient flavours and was wondering what that had to do with her grandfather being from China. Methinks I should either get my hearing checked, or actually pay attention when watching an episode.

If you start paying attention, you'll be as pissed off as the rest of us. I've decided that FF'ing through the episodes to see the presentations and not the convoluted crap in between is the only way to survive.

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I'm glad to see Monteray gone.  Either she or Ana could have been cut and I'd have been okay with it.  I think in Ana's defense, she's a good cook.  I don't remember the judges saying anything bad about her recipes.  In fact, Bobby said that her Cuban hamburger was going to go on the menu at his Las Vegas burger restaurant.

I like Joy, but her "hack" of using a blender to......blend things......should have led to an immediate disqualification.  At least Tregaye (who I don't like) was entertaining in her "using a skillet to flatten a steak" routine.  I wonder if they're going to have the contestants do a mini Iron Chef competition this year.  That's usually a good one, as it pints out each contestants' stregths and weaknesses pretty clearly.

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13 hours ago, LittleIggy said:

Giada sure was giving her girls an airing this episode!

True, but also funny because I actually thought she was kind of restrained (for her) in her fashion choices this episode. I thought she looked good.

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3 hours ago, hula-la said:

I swore I heard Ana say that tofu goes well with Ancient flavours and was wondering what that had to do with her grandfather being from China. Methinks I should either get my hearing checked, or actually pay attention when watching an episode.

With asian*

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3 hours ago, hula-la said:

I swore I heard Ana say that tofu goes well with Ancient flavours and was wondering what that had to do with her grandfather being from China. Methinks I should either get my hearing checked, or actually pay attention when watching an episode.

I think it was "Asian flavors."

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3 hours ago, Gregg247 said:

I like Joy, but her "hack" of using a blender to......blend things......should have led to an immediate disqualification.  

I agree, and so did Giada.  Manufacturers found a way to sell more blenders by calling them "smoothie makers", but that doesn't mean they can ONLY be used for smoothies.  It's like using a microwave to cook, and calling it a "hack"  because you're using a "re-heating machine" or a "popcorn maker"  to cook food in.  

AND - the hack of using a turkey baster to put sauce on a plate is dumb.  Damiano just wants to wow the judges with pastries, doesn't care what the task is.  The French press to infuse oil though, was genius! 

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1 hour ago, backformore said:

The French press to infuse oil though, was genius! 

I thought so, too, backformore ! All of the other "hacks" seemed ridiculous in comparison, especially the martini shaker as a double boiler (what ?!) and the Mason jar shaker, but my French press is going to be coming out of the cupboard-of-the-damned tonight when I make my garlic/tarragon chicken. 

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I will start by saying I can't stand the term"hack" and any appearance by Katie Lee is a big strike in my book.  How did anyone with that horrible voice ever get on TV?  And hack is what my cat does when he has a hairball.

Good riddance to Monterey.  Of course I would have been happy with any of those three leaving.  Ana so obviously does not want to be there.

My top three are Joy, Jernard and Tregaye (sp?).  Tregaye killed it on the Snap Chat thing.

The biggest LOL moment of the episode though was when Gee-Ah-Da gleefully shreiked Damiano!!! for his win for squirting sauce with a baster.  What a novel concept....not!

20 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I'm really pissed they didn't have an actual NASCAR driver there to judge.

But the drivers don't get to tailgate.  :)

I have been to races and they certainly did not round up any authentic looking race fans who do tailgate to test the food.  Now that could have been hilarious!

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I think that if you turned on this show in the middle and asked me to guess what it was, "Food Network Star" would not occur to me. I'd think it was another new home cook / game show creation called Kitchen Clowning where amateurs do silly competitions for a shot at money. Because not only does this show have no relation to the ones from just a few seasons earlier, but none of these people resemble "stars" to me either.

19 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

 And I thought they couldn't get any lower than cowboy Lenny pasting snickers bars to his hairy naked chest.

I'll say this for Lenny: he seemed a decent cook and he knew how to use a character to get a crowd's attention. (What he did not know is where to draw the line so that your past actions don't ruin your future.)

7 hours ago, backformore said:

I think they were supposed to be part of the dish, but they got a little burned around the edges and didn't turn into flower "bowls"  like she wanted, so she said she was using them as a garnish.  Made no sense, you can't eat a little charred pineapple?

I think she just lost her head. She figured that if she called it a garnish they wouldn't realize it was charred? Silly. But I give her credit for not wanting the judges to eat something that wasn't right. Monterey should have been half that conscientious with her raw chicken.

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(edited)
36 minutes ago, Amarsir said:

I think that if you turned on this show in the middle and asked me to guess what it was, "Food Network Star" would not occur to me. I'd think it was another new home cook / game show creation called Kitchen Clowning where amateurs do silly competitions for a shot at money. Because not only does this show have no relation to the ones from just a few seasons earlier, but none of these people resemble "stars" to me either.

We're on the same wavelength, because the word "clown" popped into my head many times last night. Especially with Tregaye and Jennard, who seem happy to be buffoons if it gets the judges laughing. Sadly, I felt like the judges (especially Bobby) were laughing "at them" rather than with them. To me it's clear that they are both being kept around for entertainment value but have zero chance of ever winning. 

I really can not imagine them ever giving a show to Tregaye, with all her annoying affectations and grab bag of clichéd catch phrases that she thinks make her cute but are just dumb coming from a grown woman.

The "hack" thing was super dumb. The only real hack and clever idea was Monterrey infusing oils using a coffee press. But then she served raw chicken. I was surprised and a little sad that she got the axe, as I think that when she wasn't frazzled she had the most appealing personality of anyone this season. (though that's a pretty low bar).

In the minority here, but I respect Anna for being who she is, and not jumping through hoops to try to be what she thinks the judges want. Which is pretty much what every contestant in the history of this show has done. As low energy as she is, I'd be more likely to watch her, to actually learn about cooking, than Anna, whose food last night seemed like something from a 50s homemaker magazine. (Crab and mayo dip? Yuck? Do you need to watch FN for that?)

Surprised that Bobby actually admitted they were looking for another Guy Fieri, which we've always known, but he let the cat out of the bag. But despite how he initially presented himself, I'm beginning to think that Rob is actually a fairly reserved guy, hardly a brash extrovert like GF. Big Jay and a few others have seemed more like Guy wannabees. I really can't put my finger on what Rob is about. That "walk on the wild side" thing has never been there consistently. He seems to make pretty regular bar food.

Edited by bluepiano
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As low energy as she is, I'd be more likely to watch her, to actually learn about cooking, than Anna, whose food last night seemed like something from a 50s homemaker magazine. (Crab and mayo dip? Yuck? Do you need to watch FN for that?)

The crab dip was Joy's, not Ana's.

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1 hour ago, bluepiano said:

 (Crab and mayo dip? Yuck?

It's not like those were the only ingredients.  Most dips have some mayo in them.  I thought it looked delicious.  Joy is one of the few interesting people in this season to me.

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(edited)
2 hours ago, J-Man said:

The crab dip was Joy's, not Ana's.

Yikes, bad mistake. Yes, I meant Joy. My point was that I would be more likely to watch Ana than Joy, because I find her food a lot more interesting. And to me, that would be the reason to tune in. I am not looking for a surrogate new best friend, or to learn about someone's off camera personal life. (Bobby dinged Joy for that last night. It was probably the first time she didn't mention her 5 kids. Do contestants really need to say the same damn thing every time?)

But then, I guess in reality the shows you watch to learn about cooking are all on The Cooking Channel now. The ability to devise and execute interesting dishes really doesn't matter on the contest and travel shows that FNS winners usually get put on.

Edited by bluepiano
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Not that I need some braying hyena to get me excited about food (I'm looking at YOU stars of "The Kitchen"), but Ana has just the opposite of any energy.  She is like a black hole that eats up energy but doesn't send any out.....I doubt she would be very popular on FN knowing how animated they want everyone to be (and it looks like this season they want someone even MORE animated).  Like we used to say about someone who "has a face for radio", Ana has "a personality for bookkeeping".  Seriously, I've known bookkeepers with more vibrant personalities.  She breaks every rule in the book about how to present herself on TV, and their not coming down on her more about it only shows me she is there for her entertainment value.  I don't care about how good her food is, I just can't get past her lack of "relate-ability".  My neighbor's food is good too but I wouldn't want to listen to her talk about it.  Ugh.  There has to be something appealing about the person to make me listen to them.  I find just about anyone on PBS more appealing than Ana and not all of them are "ready for prime time" either.

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Add me to the list of people who hates the term "hack".  Suddenly it's being used EVERYWHERE.  It's like the media jumped on it as some kind of new and trendy term.  In my day, we used to call a kitchen tool that could be used in a novel way doing "double duty".  I guess we have to keep reinventing the wheel to keep people feeling important.  What-evs.

Oh, and crab and mayo are two main ingredients in one of my favorite dishes ever - crab cakes.  YUM.

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If Damiano wins I think it'll be the first Food Network show to use subtitles. I can't understand a thing he says.  He's a good-looking guy - I guess? - but he has absolutely no charm or warmth.  I once used a turkey baster to dribble paint down a piece of artwork.  (It was a West Elm hack) and I could have told him his cream or sauce or whatever was too thick.  

Do we have a count on how many times Tregaye said "on fleek' this episode?  I think it was 2.  

I actually liked Monterey...there was something about her ineptness that I found endearing.   

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I was trying to figure out who Ana reminded me of when I listen to her talk. I think she comes off as a cross between Brian Griffin's girlfriend and Cotton's wife on King Of The Hill. Leaning more towards Cotton's wife. 

I was relieved that they sent Monterey packing over Ana. I'm one of the few who actually likes Ana. I thought Monterey was all over the place and at one point she seemed sort of medicated. Ana isn't going to win this thing, but so far I haven't had any issues with who has gone home.

I am also tired of hearing "On fleek". Tregaye needs to stop. She has used it every week since the beginning. 

I thought the Snap Chat angle was weird. Aren't they the photos that only display for a few seconds and then delete?

They were really reaching with the kitchen hacks. I don't like when they do trending themes. 

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17 hours ago, Gregg247 said:

I'm glad to see Monteray gone.  Either she or Ana could have been cut and I'd have been okay with it.  I think in Ana's defense, she's a good cook.  I don't remember the judges saying anything bad about her recipes.  In fact, Bobby said that her Cuban hamburger was going to go on the menu at his Las Vegas burger restaurant.

I like Joy, but her "hack" of using a blender to......blend things......should have led to an immediate disqualification.  At least Tregaye (who I don't like) was entertaining in her "using a skillet to flatten a steak" routine.  I wonder if they're going to have the contestants do a mini Iron Chef competition this year.  That's usually a good one, as it pints out each contestants' stregths and weaknesses pretty clearly.

Thank you so much for the morning laugh! Love it!

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(edited)
11 hours ago, smiley13 said:

I will start by saying I can't stand the term"hack" and any appearance by Katie Lee is a big strike in my book.  How did anyone with that horrible voice ever get on TV?  And hack is what my cat does when he has a hairball.

Good riddance to Monterey.  Of course I would have been happy with any of those three leaving.  Ana so obviously does not want to be there.

My top three are Joy, Jernard and Tregaye (sp?).  Tregaye killed it on the Snap Chat thing.

The biggest LOL moment of the episode though was when Gee-Ah-Da gleefully shreiked Damiano!!! for his win for squirting sauce with a baster.  What a novel concept....not!

But the drivers don't get to tailgate.  :)

I have been to races and they certainly did not round up any authentic looking race fans who do tailgate to test the food.  Now that could have been hilarious!

I'm guessing Billy Joel's connections + being pretty, led to Top Chef, and she took it from there post-divorce.

Edited by cherry slushie
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Whoever wrote Aunt Sandy's "Kwanza Cake" episode had to have written this "Let's Drive Computer Cars!" flop.  Face it.  It wasn't really about contestants and challenges; it was all about reactions -- specifically, The Many Faces of Giada and How Bored Can I Look? Bobby.  Those two must have spent hours practicing in a mirror.  My only explanation for this twosome's act is that Bobby was mid-divorce when the show was taped, and Giada was his self-appointed cheerleader.  Every time she snuggled up to his shoulder gave him a perfect look at her girls.  God save us from another failure as bad as this one was!  My crude cousin would have rated this show ten farts.

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18 hours ago, rab01 said:

How did Monterey do best in the first half? She served inedible food. Raw chicken is a real no-no to me

I should have clarified that I was talking about her presentation, which I thought was the best one in the first half.  How she could go from being told by Bobby that "It was like she had a show on FN" to bombing so bad in the second half was truly amazing.  What was it about Robert Irvine that unnerved some of these women?  Then again, I met him 6 years ago and I would be lying if I said he didn't unnerve me.  And I was never a really big fan of his either.

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