S03.E01: I Wanna Be Fat

[ClareWalks]

I know this thread has gone "off topic" technically because we are talking about Whitney/body image in general, but I like the discussion here and want to join it. I've seen the "being mean to skinny people" part of the argument a lot. I am 5'11" and was 211 lb 8 months after I had my baby. I got totally sick of it and have gotten down to a fit 172 and still losing. I almost dread getting down below 160 because people are fucking MEAN. Nobody said a word about my body when I was 211 and eating like shit, but when I get to, say, 155, size 8, and I'm in ridiculously good shape, people start telling me I look "gross" (yes, they use that word), telling me I need to eat more, asking me if I have an eating disorder, etc. And I weighed 155 lb. That is smack in the middle of healthy BMI range. You can't tell me those compliments are jokes or misguided compliments. I think in general the idea of a healthy body has skewed larger in recent years, which for people who carry weight that way is a great thing, but people who are leaner but healthy can definitely be treated like garbage. 

I guess I just need to suck it up and brace myself for the hate, because I will probably end up in the 150s. It is a good, fast weight for me to do my half marathons.

Edited June 14, 2016 by ClareWalks

[RCharter]

52 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

I know this thread has gone "off topic" technically because we are talking about Whitney/body image in general, but I like the discussion here and want to join it. I've seen the "being mean to skinny people" part of the argument a lot. I am 5'11" and was 211 lb 8 months after I had my baby. I got totally sick of it and have gotten down to a fit 172 and still losing. I almost dread getting down below 160 because people are fucking MEAN. Nobody said a word about my body when I was 211 and eating like shit, but when I get to, say, 155, size 8, and I'm in ridiculously good shape, people start telling me I look "gross" (yes, they use that word), telling me I need to eat more, asking me if I have an eating disorder, etc. And I weighed 155 lb. That is smack in the middle of healthy BMI range. You can't tell me those compliments are jokes or misguided compliments. I think in general the idea of a healthy body has skewed larger in recent years, which for people who carry weight that way is a great thing, but people who are leaner but healthy can definitely be treated like garbage. 

I guess I just need to suck it up and brace myself for the hate, because I will probably end up in the 150s. It is a good, fast weight for me to do my half marathons.

It honestly sounds more like sour grapes.  I do not know what your situation is at all.....but if I had to make a WAG I would say that you may have friends/family that are a little on the overweight/obese side and at 211 you were sort of "part of the club" but at 155 you are not.  I'm not sure what 5'11/155 looks like.  I'm a size 8 and I'm only 5'3 and 1/2 and I'm not that far from your goal weight.  I only say that because weight/clothing size is such a mystery.

But I think the visceral meanness like that is often a sign of jealousy -- but that is really just my take on it.  And I think its borne out of the fact that society does put such pressure on women to be fit/thin and so its easy to become jealous of someone who can get to that "ideal."  While I think the healthy body ideal has skewed larger in recent years, I still think its a pretty "thin" ideal.  We still see people splashed across the cover of a magazine as a total failure if they gained like 20 pounds and heralded as a modern day hero if they lost the 20 pounds...complete with "DIET SECRETS!"

And I honestly think that you feeling comfortable with yourself is the most important thing.  I want to lose these 20 pounds I gained studying for the bar exam, mostly because that is the weight that I feel comfortable and cute at.  

On another note @ClareWalks -- I'm going to post a question to you in the general thread.  If you have some time can you give me your opinion?

Edited June 14, 2016 by RCharter

[ClareWalks]

Thanks @RCharter! The really weird thing is that I am not just called "gross" by women, or by bigger women. A fit man who I consider a friend said that to me, too. He wasn't trying to "neg" me, either. Maybe I just carry weight badly, but either way, whether a person is bigger or smaller, nobody needs to be saying "you look gross" to them, for heaven's sake. I guess in that way I can get behind Whitney's message, because I don't think rudeness is the answer to concerns about someone's physical health. Whitney is just a LOUSY spokeswoman.

[RCharter]

2 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

Thanks @RCharter! The really weird thing is that I am not just called "gross" by women, or by bigger women. A fit man who I consider a friend said that to me, too. He wasn't trying to "neg" me, either. Maybe I just carry weight badly, but either way, whether a person is bigger or smaller, nobody needs to be saying "you look gross" to them, for heaven's sake. I guess in that way I can get behind Whitney's message, because I don't think rudeness is the answer to concerns about someone's physical health. Whitney is just a LOUSY spokeswoman.

thats so strange, normally men steer a mile wide of talking shit about a woman's body to her face.  I guess people may feel more comfortable since its not so taboo to be slim.  I'm sure you look fabulous at any size, but I do think a lot of it is just about how you feel.....I have a friend who is a thick girl....I have no other way to say it, because thats just how she is built, she is like 6'2 or something and she is built like a slightly overweight Amazonian woman.  But she is comfortable at her size and she is.....truly gorgeous. Almost just objectively one of the prettiest women I think I've seen.  And I say this as a straight woman.  

When she was engaged, her "fiancee" was constantly talking shit about her weight.  And I knew that it was his way of trying to make her feel shitty about herself so she would stay with him.  He was insecure because she had a house, a career, money in the bank, and she didn't need him....so he felt like he needed to hold onto her by making her feel terrible about herself.  That is one of the few times I've heard of men talking shit to a woman about her weight.  But that doesn't sound like your situation.

[Barb23]

14 hours ago, ShaNaeNae said:

I have to tell you, I read this earlier today and laughed and laughed to myself. You don't know me, but I secretly high fived you in my head. Here it is 5 hours later, I'm watching TLC, and Whitney's commercial came on, all the serious emergency room scenes and I think of this. Whitney bouncing back up like a rubber ball and I get the giggles. All by myself. Best. Comment. Ever. I had to come on here just to tell you. Your comment made my day. 

[Barb23]

14 hours ago, ShaNaeNae said:

I have to tell you, I read this earlier today and laughed and laughed to myself. You don't know me, but I secretly high fived you in my head. Here it is 5 hours later, I'm watching TLC, and Whitney's commercial came on, all the serious emergency room scenes and I think of this. Whitney bouncing back up like a rubber ball and I get the giggles. All by myself. Best. Comment. Ever. I had to come on here just to tell you. Your comment made my day. 

I'm glad you liked my comment.  I'm not usually a mean spirited person & am a large gal myself (200+ lbs).  I know what it is like to fall & be unable to get up.  But she just reminded me of the girl in Willie Wonka that ended up rolling around like a ball.  

I've also been on the other side of the spectrum - I was underweight when I got pregnant 25 years ago & lost all my pregnancy weight & then some so I know what it feels like to get the skinny comments too.  I always said it was the person's choice of words when they commented on my thinness that got to me.  Instead of using the word Thin, people would say "you are soooooo skinny."  I ended up hating the word Skinny esp with the So dragged out in front of it.  My husband used to tell me it was just a compliment but for some reason So Skinny really upset me.  Oh what I wouldn't do now to hear those words. Lol.  

[operalover]

The human body is not meant to support 200 plus pounds of extra weight. The heart is working way too hard! It's plain dangerous. The feet, the knees the hips are overworking. ALL of the organs are overworking. She says I don't know why I was so tired after 48 minutes. Well I know why- it's because you are at least 200 pounds overweight and our bodies CANNOT be fit and healthy with 200 extra pounds of fat to haul around. Her heart can give out at any moment. and she is only 32- so true once she is in her 40s and 50s she is going to have a hard time getting out of bed each day. That is not fabulous. She will develop diabetes, she is so borderline. 

[OnceSane]

Back on topic, please.  If you want to talk about Whitney, take it to her thread.  If you want to talk about personal experiences, take it to the Small Talk thread.  Wherever the off-topic conversation goes, stop telling each other what is acceptable to post.  

[fountain]

I am surprised the dance-a-thon was such intense dancing for a lot of what we saw on tv.  Even fit people would have a hard time moving that way the whole time without training.  When Whit was getting all tired I wondered why she didn't just slow down and pace herself more, part of her issue was that she went full out at the beginning.  I think better planning for the sponsors would have been to have a dance 30 minutes, break 15-20 minutes, dance, break, etc.  Then people could visit the booths, not get too tired, etc.  Seriously, no one has fun when people are puking!

[KateHearts]

On 6/9/2016 at 10:09 PM, shoovenbooty said:

In the previews for this season, doesn't one of Whitney's friends say that Whitney is "spiraling out of control"? This is just NOW being realized, since she weighs 370-plus? Whitney said in this episode that she believes PCOS is a big contributing factor in her weight gain. It may very well be A factor, but it's not THE factor. She overeats, plain and simple. And everyone around her enables her.

Whitney is the queen of fat-logic.  "I'm on this earth to teach body acceptance; it's my CALLING to be a fat girl!" (and also the loud, TMI, "funny fat girl" as well).   I've always gotten mixed messages.  She says she loves her body; she cries when she talks about her weight.  

TLC has mastered the method of trying to up the drama with the previews.  For tonight, there are sounds of a heart monitor and a ventilator.  I highly doubt she had to be put on a ventilator after last week's episode.

[lallalla]

I just actually watched this episode, vs just listening to it. I can't even believe how huge she is, she looks like she swallowed her first season self, I cannot imagine her being under 400lbs at this point.  I hope she finds help soon..and accepts it.

Also, yes, Buddy is looking larger.  

[grayson]

Does Whitney really "wanna be fat", or is she overwhelmed  by the enormity of the effort required to lose 230 - 250 pounds? Sometimes a goal can seem extremely daunting. For example, I recently faced $17,000 in credit card debt and was very discouraged when I thought about the effort needed to eliminate it.

I did not have the option of continuing to maintain this high balance of debt and will live for the next six months on a VERY strict budget. I realize debt reduction is not exactly analogous to weight loss, but  if Whitney is struggling with similar feelings of resignation and hopelessness than she has my empathy and sympathy.

Edited June 21, 2016 by grayson

[M.F. Luder]

49 minutes ago, grayson said:

Does Whitney really "wanna be fat", or is she overwhelmed  by the enormity of the effort required to lose 230 - 250 pounds?

In her old blog that she deleted, she talked a lot about how much she wanted to be thin (even when she was an average size) and how she prayed to God to make her bulimic. She vowed to lose weight until no black man ever found her attractive (because we all know black men covet those fat white girls, right *rolls eyes*). I think it's pretty clear that if she had magic, she would make it so that she had never been fat ever in her life. Now that she is fat, she's decided to accept it as part of her identity, because she's at the point where she will never have a body that society accepts as beautiful. I think she is naturally a very fun-loving, optimistic person who has a high opinion of herself. So, with this mindset, she doesn't want to spend time wishing for something that's never going to happen, and instead, just enjoy life as it is. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think it's false for her to say that she WANTS to be fat.

[lallalla]

3 hours ago, grayson said:

Does Whitney really "wanna be fat", or is she overwhelmed  by the enormity of the effort required to lose 230 - 250 pounds? Sometimes a goal can seem extremely daunting. For example, I recently faced $17,000 in credit card debt and was very discouraged when I thought about the effort needed to eliminate it.

I did not have the option of continuing to maintain this high balance of debt and will live for the next six months on a VERY strict budget. I realize debt reduction is not exactly analogous to weight loss, but  if Whitney is struggling with similar feelings of resignation and hopelessness than she has my empathy and sympathy.

When she's chatting with Buddy about her weight, this is basically the impression I got, that even if she lost a ton of weight, she would still be so horribly overweight, it feels daunting, impossible, and not worth it. :/

[Noirprncess]

Oh Babs, I love ya.

Whitney: "My mom just through me under the bus."

Babs: "... Under the bus? Pbbt... There isn't enough space under the bus....."

I screamed.....

[Noirprncess]

On June 21, 2016 at 2:50 PM, M.F. Luder said:

In her old blog that she deleted, she talked a lot about how much she wanted to be thin (even when she was an average size) and how she prayed to God to make her bulimic. She vowed to lose weight until no black man ever found her attractive (because we all know black men covet those fat white girls, right *rolls eyes*). I think it's pretty clear that if she had magic, she would make it so that she had never been fat ever in her life. Now that she is fat, she's decided to accept it as part of her identity, because she's at the point where she will never have a body that society accepts as beautiful. I think she is naturally a very fun-loving, optimistic person who has a high opinion of herself. So, with this mindset, she doesn't want to spend time wishing for something that's never going to happen, and instead, just enjoy life as it is. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think it's false for her to say that she WANTS to be fat.

Dear Lord... Delusional much?

 

I've said this in previous posts, but I think she wants to thin only if it involved no effort from her at all.  No Diet, no exercise, just wake up and be "thin".  That's everyone's fantasy - reality doesn't work like that.

[ClareWalks]

Oh yeah, her saying she wanted to lose weight until "no black men find her attractive" was so insane. As if no black men like thinner women. Or, as if any black men find her attractive in the first damn place.

[Brooklynista]

14 minutes ago, Noirprncess said:

Dear Lord... Delusional much?

 

I've said this in previous posts, but I think she wants to thin only if it involved no effort from her at all.  No Diet, no exercise, just wake up and be "thin".  That's everyone's fantasy - reality doesn't work like that.

She needs to be given w tape of Dominique the 600 pound mom.  She thought she would have gastric, wake up and look like Tyra Banks.  Didn't turn out so well for her.

[auntjess]

I'm watching the repeats of this season on TLC, EARLY AM.
This included the dance-a-thon where she faints and ski trip.
As an aside, dance marathons in the Depression, were a way to get a meal  Fascinating history.
https://mashable.com/2016/06/18/dance-marathons/
Those EMTs didn't look like any official county/city uniforms, so I wonder if it was a hired non-emergency vehicle, but I couldn't freeze the fame in a way to read what was on the vehicle.
Lennie always looks like he's in a disguise, and Buddy was thinner back then.
As funny as it was, it was pretty cold of Babs to say that she couldn't throw with under the bus, because she wouldn't fit.

[goodolmom2]

I'm watching Season 3 re-runs as well.  It's amazing how much more aware she was of her limitations due to her size and how it was affecting her and the things she wanted to do.  When did that go off the rails?

[Nicmar]

On 5/7/2019 at 11:46 AM, goodolmom2 said:

I'm watching Season 3 re-runs as well.  It's amazing how much more aware she was of her limitations due to her size and how it was affecting her and the things she wanted to do.  When did that go off the rails?

I saw this episode recently as well. Damn Whitney is humongous. Why on earth would she think being that big can be healthy?

[B in Lee]

On 5/9/2019 at 12:44 PM, Nicmar said:

I saw this episode recently as well. Damn Whitney is humongous. Why on earth would she think being that big can be healthy?

She keeps dodging medical bullets (A1c, passing out at danceathon, etc). She seems to think the fact that she hasn't had a bad-enough episode (yet) is proof that she is "fit and healthy". The girl is the Queen of Denial.

[Nicmar]

18 hours ago, B in Lee said:

She keeps dodging medical bullets (A1c, passing out at danceathon, etc). She seems to think the fact that she hasn't had a bad-enough episode (yet) is proof that she is "fit and healthy". The girl is the Queen of Denial.

I could of i heard her say that she was pre diabetic last season but she wasn't anymore! How was that even possible if she wasn't dieting or excersing. It doesn't work like that. What a dumbass 😒

[Colleenna]

40 minutes ago, Nicmar said:

I could of i heard her say that she was pre diabetic last season but she wasn't anymore! How was that even possible if she wasn't dieting or excersing. It doesn't work like that. What a dumbass 😒

Well, it's possible that she's no longer pre-diabetic because she's full-on diabetic......