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Patricia Atschul: Her Martini Has Its Own Butler


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On 5/26/2017 at 10:33 AM, Alison said:

I don't know if this is specifically what the hosts' friend was talking about, but Pat loves this artist:

I should not have logged in to PTV with a wicked case of jet lag because I've spent five minutes wondering if this is real or just a hallucination. WTF!

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Of all things I saw Patricia’s caftan on Jimmy Kimmel last night. Georgette Moshburger was wearing it (I think it had King Charles Spaniels on it not pugs). It looked like a painting of her (more than a photo but it’s hard to discern on tv) where she was sitting on a couch with a KC Spaniel. Why, because Patricia’s friend has just been named Ambassador to Poland. Guess she is still getting mileage out of her pet project (pun intended). 

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2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

He should be out sharing festivities with Andy Cohen who also turned 50 this weekend. 

Yes, the Instagram accounts of the varied Bravo folk I follow, are populated with suck up photos of Andy with the obligatory HB wishes to him.

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39 minutes ago, ProudMary said:

Wow, that truly is a "cocktail" dress!
She still has a great figure.  She should cut back on wearing those caftans!

And she should send them ALL to me, because my "great figure" days are far behind me (hey, at least I never subscribed to the tall hair craze she cannot put to rest).  Right after she sends me Michael the perfect martini butler (don't even THINK about touching my feet!) and the pudgy little doggies he adores.  ;-)

Bye the way, Trish - if your butler shows more affection to your animals than you?  We have a problem (and by "we",  I mean "I" have a problem with YOU, Boo).

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Yanno, say what you will about Miss Patricia, girl knows how to marry up, and how to keep the goods when they divorce/die! She's got it down to an art form...I always wonder if her life is as savoir faire as it seems, or if she's really unhappy off camera. If her money is real, I suppose she's got nothing to really worry about, other than her 'sweet tempered boy' marrying a lady and giving her a grandbaby before she kicks the sterling silver bucket.

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(edited)

So, Patty's pal is an ambassador now.  However will she manage to hawk her schmattas without her?  Ambassador to Poland.  Shouldn't be any hazard pay with that locale.  The 2017 minimum pay for ambassadors is $124,406 a year. The maximum is $187,000.  Should easily keep her in Clairol Red #104. 

phpEvSXXjAM.jpg

For some reason, I hadn't realized the full hideousness effect of Pat's caftan prior to viewing this photo.  It's...different.  Bless her heart.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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1 hour ago, Major Bigtime said:

Patricia’s caftan reminds me of when Carol Burnett spoofed Scarlett O’Hara wearing drapes.

Loved that episode! Loved the show! Love Ms. Carol Burnett!

While I enjoy Pat, her schmatta, and her schtick, I would say any day that Carol Burnett has more personality and more class than Pat Altschul ever could.

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I don't hate the yellow caftan. Georgette doesn't have a figure as nice as Patricia's. Perhaps she feels most comfortable in a caftan, and Patricia wore one as well so as not to show up her guest of honor. Any gracious hostess worth her salt would do the same thing. I'm confident Patricia cuts a fine form in a clinging gown. Patricia probably could have taken any of the women at the party to task on their overall look, but she didn't. 

I'll cite an example, because I love examples. Someone I know threw a party in honor of someone else I know. The hostess wore a perfectly perfect outfit that completely outshined (outshone?) the guest of honor, who went through 6 outfits and couldn't come up with something as pretty as what the hostess was planning to wear. The guest of honor was totally defeated/deflated and I think felt some degree of embarrassment because she couldn't make herself look as nice. Now in my book, the hostess should have taken it down several notches so the guest of honor would feel her best. Elegance is learned, my friends ?

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Isn’t that the caftan she wore to the winter ball? I love a great caftan and have several. IMHO, those feathered sleeves are a huge faux paus for dining. Any type of dangling sleeve (feather, lace, or whatever) inevitably ends up dragging across food, making a mess. I know! BTDT! I do like Miss Patricia, but she is not always the epitome of southern perfection that she pretends to be. YMMV.

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11 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Town & Country magazine has done a feature on Patricia Altschul, "their favorite reality star" (ugh).  The most interesting thing about it to me, is the byline.  Very interesting.

townandcountrymag/day-in-the-life-patricia-altschul/

psa - The "article" is basically little more than a vehicle for shameless advertising links and name-dropping.

I don't think Craig made those cat pillows.  They're 3D.

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Both Pat and, to a lesser extent Whitney, were quoted in Sunday's New York Times regarding the recent passing of her decorator, Mario Buatta. She recalled a black tie reception that she and the decorator attended at Buckingham Palace where he let loose a motorized cockroach to the amusement of Camilla. "He was a frustrated performer at heart", Mrs. Altshul said, "My son Whitney called him 'The Dame Edna of Decorators'".

His style was known as American English country and his favorite color was blue. And one has to only look at Pat's house to see his influence.

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And now I want to ask—-once you’re over a certain age, wouldn’t you just rather have a few natural extra lines on your face than look like you’re wearing a stiff plastic mask that won’t allow your face to freely move? 

Edited by Sun-Bun
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3 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

And now I want to ask—-once you’re over a certain age, wouldn’t you just rather have a few natural extra lines on your face than look like you’re wearing a stiff plastic mask that won’t allow your face to freely move? 

It's hard for me to give a 100% sincere answer, because having all of these procedures done is above my paygrade, but I can say that I think it's silly for a person to go around looking like someone 25 yrs. younger...from the neck up.  You have to know that the rest of the chassis is showing the rust of age.  That said, to each her own.

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On 11/5/2020 at 10:21 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

Kathryn really looked like a clown at that Dumb & Dumber party, between the clownish makeup, sequined topcoat, orange hair and clashing orange bow tie.  This is actually an offense to clowns.

I don’t think Kathryn should have even agreed to film a scene with thirsty Leva, though.  Are we using the word “dead” as a verb now?  I’m not sure I’m going to take it as gospel if it comes from the woman who said she was “literally” going to eviscerate Kathryn.  How would one even go about that, with some C4?

I do agree that it’s pretty evident that Madison fucked everyone.  So has Kathryn.  At least they own it.  Kathryn was right when she said that if anyone was talking about her or Madison the way that Kathryn was talking about Cameran, they wouldn’t be so fazed as to send soldiers in to fight their battles. 

The montage of Cameran being dismissive toward Kathryn reminded me exactly why I can’t stand the bitch Cameran, never could.  Cam’s MO from day one was to decide who was worthy of her attention and her affection, and who was not.  Guys got a pass over girls.  It was only at the reunion of season five (?) that Cameran got off her high horse and realized that Kathryn was “a child” (not quite, but whatever) when she got knocked up by Thomas for the first time and then Cameran was crying about how horrible she was to Kathryn for a zillion years.  It was only then that Cameran decided to descend from her throne to deign to treat Kathryn as someone other than a leper.  I guess Patricia gave Cameran the nod of approval or something.  Miss me.  

Wasn’t Kathryn renting a really expensive townhouse and driving a Phantom last season or something?  What happened to all of that?  Is she living there now with Thomas, or are they living somewhere else?  Some of the architecture looks similar to me on this show.  

If Austen is going to be in a relationship with Madison, he has to accept that she has a past.  I mean, her kid didn’t come from the stork.  And if Austen can’t handle it, that’s ok, he should head for greener pastures.  But if he wants to be with her, he has to be ok that the odds are that someone banged his girlfriend when he walks into any given room.  I don’t know why, but I feel like Craig would be ok with this.  Maybe I am shipping Madison and Craig a little?  Craig is awesome.  

Kathryn...that baby pink onesie is not your friend.  It’s your worst enemy.  Leva, take note WRT really tight pink clothes.  At least the females of this season are not whittling down to nothing.  Something strange was going on with Naomie and Chelsea’s weights these past few years.  

Whitney is a vegan, except when he’s ordering a barbecue sandwich...or eating a steak last season?  My kind of vegan, I guess.

I’m kind of over Shep throwing rocks and then hiding his hands.  I’m overall sick of Shep.  I’m sick of his southern-gentleman-cum-Valley-Girl accent, I’m sick of his mailbox money, I’m sick of his perpetually messy hair and his big gopher teeth.  The only thing I could stand about him was that he was ok with being single (Thomas, are you listening?) and that is the only thing he has changed about himself. 

Austen, good luck with trying to get Shep to act like an adult.  Shep doesn’t have the first clue how to act like an adult.  He only knows how to be a man-child and talk behind people’s backs like a little bitch, whether it’s Craig, Madison or Austen.  You can be his buddy, but don’t trust him.  If Austen chooses to trust him, that’s on Austen.  Don’t expect a scorpion to change its stinger.  Same goes for Madison.  Instead of constantly trying to extract an apology from Shep, why doesn’t Madison just write him off?  That would kill him the worst.  

The amount of enthusiasm I have for John Pringle’s past as “an energy derivatives clerk” and where he lived in Charleston is at exactly zero.  Why are his eyes so far apart?  Does the Pringle family tree split? 

Patricia is, what, in her seventies, and she’s meddling in the relationships of people young enough to be her grandchildren?  Shame on her and her totally ugly, gigantic, gold chain-link necklace.  I’m not a big Austen fan—I think he is more than a bit of a muppet—but who is this haughty snob to put Austen down for “only” being in three stores?  How many stores is Patricia Altschul in?  At least Austen’s not earning his money on his back.  

Michael can also miss me with his feigned aversion to vodka, as it comes from potatoes, which are from—gasp—the ground!  Isn’t everything originally from the ground?  Can Michael personally account that the juniper berries that go into Patricia’s gin never touched dirt?  The hell?  Regardless, I have a BA in History, and one of my Western Civ professors drummed it into our heads (and it was on the final) that back in the Middle Ages, people were afraid to eat potatoes, and they were starving to death, so the king of someplace in Europe famously ate a potato so that everyone would know it was ok.  So, the potato—good enough for royalty, but beneath Patricia and her butler.  Lol.  What did Michael and Patricia think those French fries they got from McDonald’s last season were made of?

I think a little snobbery on a show like this is ok; it’s veering into ugly territory when people make shit up just to sound better than others.

I am strangely enough enjoying this new season.  Unlike the Housewife shows, I don’t find myself constantly checking the clock to see when it’s going to be over.  Who knows how much that’ll change if this Pringle guy takes center stage.  I’d rather watch season one’s Jenna over him and his beard.  

Patricia’s new favorite food is a frankfurter from Costco.  She must make Michael run in to get them while she waits in the car.  No drive thru.

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3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Patricia’s new favorite food is a frankfurter from Costco.  She must make Michael run in to get them while she waits in the car.  No drive thru.

Shopping at Costco is one her favorite thing so she goes inside. Seriously she IG her shopping trips there all the time.

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On 11/13/2020 at 12:42 PM, biakbiak said:

Shopping at Costco is one her favorite thing so she goes inside. Seriously she IG her shopping trips there all the time.

I read (don’t ask me where) Pat has trouble walking these days.  That’s why she’s filmed mostly sitting in a chair.  Maybe back troubles, etc., age.  Although she’s seen walking here and there on the show sometimes.

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39 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

I read (don’t ask me where) Pat has trouble walking these days.  That’s why she’s filmed mostly sitting in a chair.  Maybe back troubles, etc., age.  Although she’s seen walking here and there on the show sometimes.

Yeah, she'll be 80 soon, so mobility can became an issue.  I'm a couple of decades younger and Costco damn near did me in yesterday, lol.

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3 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Yeah, she'll be 80 soon, so mobility can became an issue.  I'm a couple of decades younger and Costco damn near did me in yesterday, lol.

Maybe they have those scooters to ride around in?  I used them when I had spinal surgery.  Fun!

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5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Maybe they have those scooters to ride around in?  I used them when I had spinal surgery.  Fun!

My husband had to use those scooters for awhile after his hernia surgery.  They help but he didn't like using them (especially in public) because he felt "weird" in them.  Maybe a little embarrassed is the word for it and I think that might be how Patricia feels if she is filmed having difficulty walking.  She seems like a proud woman and to show her age is a definite NO NO.  Also does it looks like she's had MORE work done to her face?  In her T.H. her face seems....off like it's pulled too tight and now her eyes don't seem to sit right. *shrug*

 

Edited by Dirtybubble
Wrong thread
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1 hour ago, Dirtybubble said:

My husband had to use those scooters for awhile after his hernia surgery.  They help but he didn't like using them (especially in public) because he felt "weird" in them.  Maybe a little embarrassed is the word for it and I think that might be how Patricia feels if she is filmed having difficulty walking.  She seems like a proud woman and to show her age is a definite NO NO.  Also does it looks like she's had MORE work done to her face?  In her T.H. her face seems....off like it's pulled too tight and now her eyes don't seem to sit right. *shrug*

I'm starting to feel sympathy and a little bit of love for Austin.  I never understood the complete hate some people have for this guy.  He is doing his best (I think) with his beer company.  And Pringle (whom I am beginning to HATE) is saying these things to him and with Patricia trying to hook Madison and Pringle up (for some odd reason) IDK it just feels like he's being ganged up on for no real reason.

I know how your husband felt.  I felt the same way, but then I saw young people riding on them from broken ankles, knee problems, etc.  If I see one now, I hop on because of back pain.  Patricia probably goes in incognito with a wig, sunglasses, etc., with Michael trailing along.  The only problem is there is never enough of them. 😀

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I haven’t read all the posts, so excuse me.  I just saw all of Craig’s pillows on HSN, AND Patricia’s pillows also, for one third of the price as his.  Why the hell did she need to sell pillows besides?  They are nicer, but Geeze, that’s his livelihood.  She has plenty of money.  Wonder why she did that, and how did he feel?  It’s a free country, but still.

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On 1/10/2019 at 3:25 PM, SuprSuprElevated said:

It's hard for me to give a 100% sincere answer, because having all of these procedures done is above my paygrade, but I can say that I think it's silly for a person to go around looking like someone 25 yrs. younger...from the neck up.  You have to know that the rest of the chassis is showing the rust of age.  That said, to each her own.

I would never.  What if you don’t like the feeling of your skin pulled tight?  I would go nuts as it’s something you can’t control.  Lots of stars had things done and look worse.  The only thing I would have done if necessary is if I had a big nose.  Dani on Southern Charm could use some work on her nose.  She always looks like she is smelling something foul.  IMO.  Actually, in the last episode she looked like she had work done.  All those big lips look ridiculous on some of them like Shannon.  Patricia’s face is too smooth, like wax.

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On 12/5/2020 at 5:29 PM, Silver Bells said:

I would never.  What if you don’t like the feeling of your skin pulled tight?  I would go nuts as it’s something you can’t control.  Lots of stars had things done and look worse.  The only thing I would have done if necessary is if I had a big nose.  Dani on Southern Charm could use some work on her nose.  She always looks like she is smelling something foul.  IMO.  Actually, in the last episode she looked like she had work done.  All those big lips look ridiculous on some of them like Shannon.  Patricia’s face is too smooth, like wax.

Often the facial skin loosens up and relaxes so it doesn't always look pulled so tight, but until then it's so obvious that work has been done. I also think all that tightening makes the person have difficulty speaking, so you have these older women with oddly pursed lips trying to get their words out. 

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