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Snark Talk: Home, Home on the (De) Ranged


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I'm so glad Ina's back with some new shiws. It's such a welcome change from the (faux)Pioneer Woman and the other mediocrity that passes for cooking shows on the Food Network these days.

Edited by ShoePrincess
tyoo
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Bento boxes are Japanese, just what an ole fashioned pioneer family used to use on the Oregon trail.  If archeologists dig up those old trails, I bet they will find plastic bento boxes strewn about.  And lots of processed food containers, too.  She says she is into coconut water..........health food!  So, she cooks unhealthy crap for the drooling unwashed masses, and eats differently in private.  I don't believe she eats meat in private.  I think she is still a vegetarian.  They own property in Kansas.  They got a lot of their wealth stealing from and cheating the local Indians, but who cares, she puts on a good show. 

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Cowboy Josh sounds like he has marbles in his mouth when he talks.  "Papa" has a gravely smoker's voice.  They all have such heavy southern accents.  The Kansas ranch is pretty.  But it is the same ol same ol. Making burritos again.

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24 minutes ago, cathy said:

She says she is into coconut water..........health food!

She probaby adds a teaspoon of coconut water to those horrendous 50,000 calorie shakes so she can call it healthy eating.

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Oh, Koho, day after day, you grow closer and closer to spotting Ree's little tricks!  LOL  I'm surprised she didn't add a buncha sprouts to that shake, but that's prolly because they're not sweet.

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Why does the black basketball player's wife have to wait for him to leave town so she can make something he can't eat (allergy to shrimp)? She can make the shrimp scampi for lunch.  She must be an old fashioned 1950's submissive slave too, just like Ree.  Ree says that her menfolk on the "homestead" won't eat anything without meat.  Eyeroll.

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Here is my take on this. Husband likes things I do not, yet I make them for him because he is cute and all and I love him blah blah blah. I like things Husband does not, yet I make them for me because I also like me. I do not need Husband to be out of town to make what I like.

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My parents were married in the fifties but my mother was a college educated business woman so not terribly traditional. My dad loved liver and onions which she (and I hated) so about once a month she would make him liver and onions, oysters for herself and because I couldn't stand either one she'd make me a pork chop.

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2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

My parents were married in the fifties but my mother was a college educated business woman so not terribly traditional. My dad loved liver and onions which she (and I hated) so about once a month she would make him liver and onions, oysters for herself and because I couldn't stand either one she'd make me a pork chop.

WOW!  What a sweet, thoughtful, hard-working mom you had.  That was a lot of cooking for one meal.  She must have loved her family very much and wanted to see them happy.

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I'm watching  the  2015 Easter show (killing time waiting for Ina). Ree's making hot cross buns. Can anyone tell me what "a whole buncha flour" is in actual measurements? I'm not sure how they'd turn out following her recipe.

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We should all start writing to her and complaining about that.

Dear Ree:

I tried to make your hot cross buns and used 7 cups of flour. You said to add, "a buncha flour." Seven sounded about right to me.

They were an epic fail!

Sincerely,

CROSS in KC
 

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5 minutes ago, grisgris said:

We should all start writing to her and complaining about that.

Dear Ree:

I tried to make your hot cross buns and used 7 cups of flour. You said to add, "a buncha flour." Seven sounded about right to me.

They were an epic fail!

Sincerely,

CROSS in KC
 

Love it! 

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17 hours ago, Lura said:

WOW!  What a sweet, thoughtful, hard-working mom you had.  That was a lot of cooking for one meal.  She must have loved her family very much and wanted to see them happy.

My mom was the BEST. I miss her every day.

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1 hour ago, ShoePrincess said:

I'm watching  the  2015 Easter show (killing time waiting for Ina). Ree's making hot cross buns. Can anyone tell me what "a whole buncha flour" is in actual measurements? I'm not sure how they'd turn out following her recipe.

I'm still loving how she wished everybody a "Happy Good Friday." Uh ...

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1 hour ago, ShoePrincess said:

We should all start writing to her and complaining about that.

I have always suspected that Ree's on-air recipes are calculated so that her fans will have to get some of the recipes from her website, the FN, or one of her cookbooks.  In other words, they're lures.

Edited by Lura
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8 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

I'm still loving how she wished everybody a "Happy Good Friday." Uh ...

Yep, and the person to whom she wished it was her minister!  LOL

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5 minutes ago, Lura said:

In other words, they're lures.

You nailed it which is why I will never, in this lifetime, go to any of her websites or cookbooks.  There are tons of great recipes out there that she steals from so I can just google ingredients or similar names and get the same things.  I refuse to give her the idea that I am a fan by any stretch of the imagination or hit counter.  Leave that up to her sycophants.

2 minutes ago, Lura said:

Yep, and the person to whom she wished it was her minister! 

And I bet she topped it off with her patented Crazy Clown Face smile.

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I've been watching press footage today on the March in Washington against guns and being amazed by these students' messages.  In a way, it reminds me of this group and Ree, possibly the worst cooking show host on the FN. Grisgris and I (and probably others) have urged people to write, but who actually does?  If we had half the resolve that those young marchers and their families do, Ree might be long gone.

BTW, if anyone is planning on writing soon, how about including a link to Ree making our favorite milkshake as an example?

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3 minutes ago, Lura said:

Grisgris and I (and probably others) have urged people to write, but who actually does? 

Sadly, I think that would only prove to the network that her show is being watched. They don't give a hoot whether or not anybody actually likes it, they only want viewers (hostile or otherwise),  as that's what brings in the advertising dollars.  The only way to get rid of her is to stop watching.

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Exactly. My little note was just in jest. I think that Ree just doesn't know how to host a show (duh ...) and maybe she really does "cook by feel," you know, like the grandmas of yore who "could just tell," how much of ingredients to add. Like I said in the other thread, when she was narrating the other cooks' actions yesterday, she actually did a pretty good job and gave more specific measurements.

Likewise, being vague drives people to the FN and Ree's websites and to Wally-world to purchase cookbooks.

ITA with Kohlola3 that FN doesn't GAF if viewers make any of their host's recipes* or even if they come out well or not. It's the ticks on the Neilsen meter and advertising $$$ that count!

*Well, Ina obviously cares. Remember how many of us complained to her about the honey-vanilla pound cake of doom?  I remember Ina taking it very seriously and writing back via her assistant of adjustments I could make to improve my outcome.

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From the PTV The Kitchen thread:

"The winning Bake Off recipe is canned cinnamon roles with some cranberry sauce slathered inside?" 

And I think I remember seeing that Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, was one of the judges for Pillsbury Bake-Off?  The ladies on the PTV Pioneer Woman thread would LOVE to hear this.

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On ‎3‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 9:04 AM, roughing it said:

The winning Bake Off recipe is canned cinnamon roles with some cranberry sauce slathered inside.

These  actually looked and sounded quite good to me -- and easy -- even tho Ree probably influenced the decision.  The top 3 recipes and cooks made their recipes on 'The Kitchen,' and all 3 looked pretty good, I thought.  I definitely plan on making these.  The proof will lie in the tasting!  :)

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9 hours ago, Lura said:

These  actually looked and sounded quite good to me -- and easy -- even tho Ree probably influenced the decision.  The top 3 recipes and cooks made their recipes on 'The Kitchen,' and all 3 looked pretty good, I thought.  I definitely plan on making these.  The proof will lie in the tasting!  :)

I think I'll make those for Thanksgiving this year instead of sticky buns.

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12 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I think I'll make those for Thanksgiving this year instead of sticky buns.

And what time did you say that dinner will be served, O Peachy One?  ;)

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(edited)
On ‎4‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 9:22 AM, peacheslatour said:

What time would you like it to be O Guest of Honor? ;-)

Whenever the rolls are baked, Chef Peach, would suit me beautifully.  I imagine that others here would love to join in.  I can't be the only one who loves cranberries. 

Will your manse have enough room for all of us?  If not, I would love having everyone out to my place in CA for perhaps a Spring Tea and serve the cranberry rolls before you do!  heh heh  We could all wear homemade Spring hats, then toss them from a high cliff overlooking the crashing sea (after consuming the cranberry rolls)!  Or -- more civilized -- hang the hats from a lovely, seaside tree to remember each other in a photo.

Edited by Lura
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I made biscuits and gravy for our Sunday breakfast. Inspired by Ree, I added jalapenos and three different hot sauces, an extra glop of cream, and a whole buncha unnecessary butter. I topped the concoction with chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, sprinkles, chopped nuts, and mini-marshmallows -- the pastel minis, not the plain white ones. Just because I could.

Actually, I made normal biscuits and gravy, but that hot mess on a plate totallly sounds like something Reed would do to perfectly good biscuits and gravy.

P.S. I'm in for the cranberry roll tea party.

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15 hours ago, Lura said:

Whenever the rolls are baked, Chef Peach, would suit me beautifully.  I imagine that others here would love to join in.  I can't be the only one who loves cranberries. 

Will your manse have enough room for all of us?  If not, I would love having everyone out to my place in CA for perhaps a Spring Tea and serve the cranberry rolls before you do!  heh heh  We could all wear homemade Spring hats, then toss them from a high cliff overlooking the crashing sea (after consuming the cranberry rolls)!  Or -- more civilized -- hang the hats from a lovely, seaside tree to remember each other in a photo.

That would be so awesome!

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I'll bring a batch of chocolate chip mandelbread.  If it's Thanksgiving, I volunteer to make a pan of my mom's stuffing.  It's a 50s recipe that uses corn flakes as the base, with veggies.  It sounds weird (almost Ree-like), but it's seriously delish!

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15 minutes ago, IOU Payne said:

.  It sounds weird (almost Ree-like), but it's seriously delish!

Mmmmmm!  Sounds delish, IOU!  Forgive me my ignorance, but what is mandelbread?  Sounds German -- is it?  I've never heard of stuffing using cornflakes, but I love cornflakes, so I'll bet it's good.  Do you ever share the recipe?  I'd love to make it.  Yum!

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30 minutes ago, IOU Payne said:

I'll bring a batch of chocolate chip mandelbread.

Will you add ice cream, gummy bears, cookie crumbs, whipped cream and a whole buncha chocolate sauce?  Because you can? 

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(edited)

Ewwwww!  Maybe for Thanksgiving fun, but imagine how eating that mess could ruin beautiful hats at a tea, not to mention the poor hostess' carpet.  Even Ree showed more decorum at her own tea for Paige.  That trough was for silly little boy piglets.   

On the other hand, I'll bet Miss Peaches would use a beautifully decorated trough, or individual ones, all decorated in a holiday theme, and serve the goodies with silver spoons at each place.  Furthermore, Miss Peaches would more likely delicately sweep cookie crumbs from the tablecloth than serve them!

Miss Manners must excuse herself and summon the maid to bring a cooling fan for her brow after reading some of the questions she receives.  The Downfall of American Civilization began when an ignorant rancher woman from Oklahoma set herself up as a living, breathing example of how to "cook" and "entertain."  Example:  At an otherwise passable engagement dinner, rather than dinging a little bell or something similar, she claps her hands together and shouts as if on "Hee Haw," "O.K., LET'S EAT!"

Sure, lady.  Are we chawing on alfalfa or long grass tonight?

                                Lovingly,

                                Judith Manners

Edited by Lura
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Quote

At an otherwise passable engagement dinner, rather than dinging a little bell or something similar, she claps her hands together and shouts as if on "Hee Haw," "O.K., LET'S EAT!"

Doesn't she have one of those dinner bells so popular on ranches? 

Quote

Furthermore, Miss Peaches would more likely delicately sweep cookie crumbs from the tablecloth than serve them!

Yes, indeed. Cucumber sandwiches and Fairy Cakes in the conservatory before we take our afternoon naps so we'll fresh for the evening's festivities. Be sure to tell your maids to pack your pearls so you can clutch them when Lord Bently-Smythe pulls one of his well known pranks. Remember last year, just before the Hunt when he told Lady Pantywaist-Runningboard that her favorite hunter had thrown anshoe and killed Lord Pantywaist-Runningboard? Why my monocle dropped right out!

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3 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Why my monocle dropped right out!

Those names are priceless!    LOL

Yes, I wondered myself whether she owned a dinner bell.  Even one of those small, round, silver bells that some cooks use might work.  Actually, her calling people to eat didn't bother me, especially considering the din of loud conversation in the room, but I was searching for some reason to rile Miss Manners.

IOUPayne, I googled stuffing recipes made with cornflakes and found many, most of which were the same.  Apparently, I've lived in the woods all my life, never having heard of it.  One item did say that it's a very old recipe, as I think you said.

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Ree was a judge on Iron Chef Tournament of Champions. She wasn't awful and didn't describe any dishes as glorious. Her rictus smile was out in full force though even when she was writing down her score.

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3 hours ago, LillyB said:

Ree was a judge on Iron Chef Tournament of Champions.

I saw that show too, LillyB, and thought that Ree seemed a little bit silly with that smile plastered over her face nearly every moment.  It's almost as if Ree considers herself the star of the show no matter what the show or her role on it is.  It isn't a case of her simply looking pleasant; she's almost beaming.  This was one of those times when I think that Ree Drummond is a certified oddball.

Her mother has been on a couple of shows, and I noticed that she is much the same way.  Maybe that's where Ree gets it.  Maybe her mother taught her that no matter what you're feeling, you present a smile to the world.

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33 minutes ago, Lura said:

I saw that show too, LillyB, and thought that Ree seemed a little bit silly with that smile plastered over her face nearly every moment.  It's almost as if Ree considers herself the star of the show no matter what the show or her role on it is.  It isn't a case of her simply looking pleasant; she's almost beaming.  This was one of those times when I think that Ree Drummond is a certified oddball.

Her mother has been on a couple of shows, and I noticed that she is much the same way.  Maybe that's where Ree gets it.  Maybe her mother taught her that no matter what you're feeling, you present a smile to the world.

"Well, it doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the surface that counts. That's what my mother taught me. Take all your bad feelings and push them down. All the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you, and happiness will follow."

-Marge Simpson

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Well, I visited Ree's website today to catch up on her "Confessions," always worth a snarky remark or two, and was I in for a surprise!  The boarding house is open for business, and Ree had color pictures of every room.  Much as I hate to say so, I liked them!  Even a couple which didn't thrill me looked comfy and cozy to me.  Didn't Ree say she was decorating them herself?  They look designer decorated.  At one point I thought she said this was Ladd's project, so I'm confused.  People are already booking rooms, so if you want a Spring or Summer reservation, now might be the time to make plans.  Sorry about the snark falling through, but you can't win 'em all!  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

;0

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1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Of course, you are in the middle of freaking nowhere so....

True, depending on the purpose of your stay.  If you're looking for a place with lots to do in the evenings, Pawhuska doesn't quite fill the bill.  On the other hand, if I had millions of dollars, I'd love to be able to have little "trysts" with my husband and spend an evening now and then at a hotel for romance and a change of scenery, and the locale wouldn't be as important as the room itself to me.  The Boarding House looks like it would serve that purpose very nicely.  (We've actually done that a few times over the years, and I highly recommend it just as a change from looking at the same four walls at home.)  I'd order breakfast from room service -- something like Ree's Eggs Benedict and fresh-baked orange rolls!

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