S03.E06: Castles In The Sand

[Primetimer]

Kelly and Dylan's sandy Summer of Deception comes to a bittersweet end.

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[Primetimer]

Then we'll all starve to death on David's tunesmithing -- but the Visual Aids for Beverly Hills, 90210 S03.E06 are a buffet for the eyes.

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[Qoass]

I really do like Henry but he never struck me as "the hardest-working person".  Isn't he the guy who hired Brandon because he didn't feel like interviewing anybody?  And isn't he the guy who refused to be disturbed while he was watching his soap operas?  Doesn't make him a slacker but doesn't put him up for sainthood either.

 

 

[Tooch]

Would that Dylan's Paradise Cove sleeping bag were made of....you guessed it..BEES!!!!

He. Is. The. Worst. Person. Ever. from here on out. RIP, Good Dylan. You fucking suck. Eat a bag of dicks. Preferably, dicks covered in bees.

[AndySmith]

I can't say RIP, Good Dylan, because he does still have his moments, of which there are quite a few, throughout the next few years.

 

Kelly and Dylan's sandy Summer of Deception comes to a bittersweet end.

 

Remember, it isn't over till the fat lady sings. Or at least until the symbolic sandcastles get washed away by the symbolic waves, symbolically.

Edited January 14, 2016 by AndySmith

[desertflower]

I am literally CRYING laughing watching that gif of David dancing behind his keyboard. Oh my Lord. I hope the other cast members got paid extra for having to pretend they enjoyed that.

[AndySmith]

You guys. If you haven't seen the episode in a while, you really need to watch the full performance in all of it's awful glory. "Precious" is even more gloriously awful, but there aren't any good quality videos of it on Youtube.

 

 

 

The first video is the full performance of Be My Love, and yes, it is also hilarious watching the older actors playing Jim, Cindy, and Henry bopping their heads and smiling along to the song. The second video is basically the gif above, but on steroids. And crack. And...

Edited January 14, 2016 by AndySmith

[lovinbob]

There is nothing on TV worse than shots of characters "enjoying" another character's musical performance.

[cmfran]

My sister bought Brian Austin Green's CD (I assume there was only one) in a thrift store years ago. I never got around to listening to it, but from what she said, it was awesomely bad. Lots of bad rapping along with bad singing.

[desertflower]

BAG definitely improved with age. He sang a bit toward the end of the series and sounded decent. He was also in a show called Wedding Band a couple years ago where he sang a lot and he was great in that. I would say he should've waited a few years to start his musical career, but then we wouldn't have this gloriously cheesy footage to make fun of.

[ilovebeaarthur]

You guys. If you haven't seen the episode in a while, you really need to watch the full performance in all of it's awful glory. "Precious" is even more gloriously awful, but there aren't any good quality videos of it on Youtube.

 

 

 

The first video is the full performance of Be My Love, and yes, it is also hilarious watching the older actors playing Jim, Cindy, and Henry bopping their heads and smiling along to the song. The second video is basically the gif above, but on steroids. And crack. And...

 

The second video is one of my all-time favorites. Thanks for posting it!

 

I sometimes sing "Be Be Be My Love" to my husband. Surprisingly, he hasn't asked for a divorce yet.

[Qoass]

I doubt they shoot the audience reactions at the same time as the "musical" performances...

[Carmen MacCodykins]

I really do like Henry but he never struck me as "the hardest-working person".  Isn't he the guy who hired Brandon because he didn't feel like interviewing anybody?  And isn't he the guy who refused to be disturbed while he was watching his soap operas?  Doesn't make him a slacker but doesn't put him up for sainthood either.

Right on. Henry's sarcasm and disdain for Do-Gooder Walsh is to be commended, and certainly much further than his parents have ever gone. But Brandon should have been fired at least 47 times by now, and Henry never pulls the trigger. (And yes, I was hoping for an actual trigger.) You were our best chance, Henry, and you let us down!

"And we never saw him again..."

Edited January 14, 2016 by CarmenMacCodykins

[marceline]

I love how in the second video you see Henry give the official "black person nod of approval."

Geez Henry, scrap this mess and make your way over to Seattle Grace with the quickness! (But first stop by Lanford, IL and say hello to Dan and Roseanne.)

[MissEwa]

I completely forgot about BeBeBe My Love! Those, er, grunts? Sighs? Make me even more uncomfortable than Steve's sex voice. And that dancing... I can't look at it but I can't look away. 

I can't wait until we're switching it up at the pigskin prom. The rapping is bad but it's not... this.

 

Also, Dylan is the worst. The worst worst worst. 

[itainttippithebird]

Somehow, when I first saw this in 9th grade or whenever, the Summer of Deception and everything after made total emotional sense, and I felt (GULP) incredibly sad/sympathetic for Dylan, of all fucking people in this triangle! Rewatching as an adult, I was DYING WITH RAGE over Dylan's cowardly, passive, shitty, and really, bewildering reaction to it all. In other words, I was 100% in agreement with this entire podcast, as per ush.

The really obvious ADR in that beach scene (actually, both of them) with Kelly & Dylan was really jarring. Kelly's voice, in particular, wavered between natural/authentically emotional and stilted/robotic on almost every other line. It made me laugh.

 

[ETA: Yikes, I'm watching ahead and episode 3.10 has so much of ol' patented Brandon bray/self-righteousness, I'm almost sick to my stomach. AND it's mortifying to watch - I'm groaning through my fingers over my face right now! Anytime 90210 does race, it's beyond cringe-worthy.]

Edited January 15, 2016 by itainttippithebird

[Carmen MacCodykins]

Let's talk about Brenda's rather selective memory when she's describing to Kelly how things ended with her and Rick.
"Part of me just wanted to take off with him, but I just kept thinking about how much I love Dylan, and I just couldn't."
THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL!! You actually TRIED to go after him, but you were too late, so you decided, I guess I'll just go home to Dylan as my consolation prize then... She makes it sound all noble, like, we should give her a medal for her facing Temptation and emerging victorious, her virtue intact. No! No you didn't! The ONLY reason you're not backpacking with him down a stream near Mount Tibidabo right now is because of TRAFFIC!

Edited January 15, 2016 by CarmenMacCodykins

[Narla]

It's so weird to take this in as an adult, when the fog of teenaged hormones has lifted and realize just HOW terrible Dylan is. I mean, everyone is pretty terrible, but his anger at Kelly is completely groundless. While it was nice to see Peak Dylan and understand that he DID have an appeal originally, I'm still amazed at what a jerk he is in these scenes. I get that the show was trying to manage the hatred the cast was starting to feel towards Shannen, but MAN. They do not do Dylan any favours with this storyline.

I turned on both Dylan and Kelly about half a season from now

[Cekrypton1]

Watching it, all I want is for Kelly to simply ask, "Are you breaking up with Brenda? If not, then leave me be." The fact that they dance around that scenario, but never explicitly state it is maddening.

[Tooch]

Hmm, while I agree she was heavily tempted by him, I think she went after him to say goodbye because she felt guilty about standing him up with no word.

[FozzyBear]

I can't believe that Sarah and Tara didn't mention the weird bit of business when Brenda's welcome home party is just getting started and Steve and Andrea are the only ones there. They totally act like they came together and then Branda gives them the best "Only the D list friends showed up?" look before herding her parents int the kitchen to ask about Dylan. It's so damn strange the way it's set up, and whatever direction they were given IZ and GC are cracking up the whole time. I swear there are moments when IZ and GC seem like they bonded over having no more fucks to give over the back stage shenanigans of the show.

[MissEwa]

Yeah, it's awful. Kelly is being frustrating and all over the place but for reasons that make complete sense to anyone who has half a brain and/or any sort of moral centre, and Dylan just keeps on and on at her, AND is all over Brenda when she gets back. It's so weird and out of character. 

 

The interesting thing is that he is so awful and such an asshole but the show writes it - more and more as the whole thing wears on - like he's this poor guy caught between two nagging harpies (and then one nagging harpy and one conflicted beauty). I feel like they wanted to do this love triangle storyline but they also didn't want to alienate their target demographic of teenage girls who were in love with either Perry or Priestley or both, and they also couldn't make Kelly the worst because they were slowly transitioning Jennie to take over as the long-term female lead, so somehow they had to dump it all on Brenda. I know I fell for it at the time, so I guess they did a good job? Bleh.  

[SoupThrower]

This song is obviously the best song in the whole show. The Corrs, Flaming Lips, Babyface and so on have nothing on crooner David Silver.

[SoupThrower]

I'm not even old and I remember Printshop. Well mainly because I remember Broderbund. They made one of the my favorite games when I was really young.

Ahhh racist Brooke, how we never see you again. Dylan is a jerk. Also realized that the Brandon race episode/David's rapping is one of the last social issues episode that involves Brandon for like the show. Creepy.

Henry does get a mention next season with giving Brenda a job at the Beach Club I think.

[bilgistic]

I, too, have tears running down my face from laughter! I'm thinking about David's outfit, too--guys in my high school absolutely wore those oversized Chess King clothes when they "dressed up" for dances or any other place where they weren't allowed to chew tobacco, unlike in class.

How are Steve's nuts not showing beneath those purple shorts!?

Edited January 16, 2016 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

Are you speaking of Oregon Trail??

[txhorns79]

Yeah, it's awful. Kelly is being frustrating and all over the place but for reasons that make complete sense to anyone who has half a brain and/or any sort of moral centre, and Dylan just keeps on and on at her, AND is all over Brenda when she gets back. It's so weird and out of character.

 

I almost wondered if Luke Perry had some kind of issue with the storyline that was coming through in his acting.  I don't understand why Dylan is so demanding (and sometimes outright hostile) towards Kelly, when he won't break up with Brenda.

[scarynikki12]

I've wondered that myself.  Perry famously asked to "work with the blonde" after growing sick of Shannon's attitude/behavior but, with the exception of the Summer of Deception, Dylan and Brenda stayed in each others stories, often as emotional support for the other.  I've always wondered if Perry and Shannon not interacting for a few of the summer episodes was enough to calm those tempers and allow them to continue filming scenes during the remainder of Shannon's tenure. 

 

It also could be that Perry expected Dylan to break up with Brenda when she returned from Paris, only to learn that things would return to the status quo and was pissed?  

[AndySmith]

I remember this article that came out in September '94. That would make it early season 5, so the way the cast viewed Shannon may have changed somewhat between early season 3 and the time the article came out. From what I remember (for some reason, I can only see the first page of the article, and not the whole thing), if I'm not mistaken:

 

Jennie, Ian, and Gabrielle - Ranging from not too sad she's gone to thank God shes gone

Luke - Somewhat indifferent, in a "Whatever, can we just move on from this drama?" kind of way

Jason - A bit sad that things didn't work out, but it was best for the show overall

Tori and Brian - I don't remember if they commented on the issue of Shannon's departure.

 

If anyone can find a link to the full article, it would be great.

Edited January 16, 2016 by AndySmith

[bilgistic]

I saw the whole article at the link. Maybe clear your cache?

God, 1994. To be back there again! America Online cited as a credible source!

[Surrealist]

 

The first video is the full performance of Be My Love, and yes, it is also hilarious watching the older actors playing Jim, Cindy, and Henry bopping their heads and smiling along to the song. The second video is basically the gif above, but on steroids. And crack. And...

 

This video is absolutely glorious and will never get old.

[MissEwa]

It was definitely all about Shannen and the backstage drama, but what was confusing was how they got there. I don't want to give Seventh Heaven credit for anything but when they character-assassinated Mary because Jessica Beil posed in her underwear they did it by actually making Mary do unlikeable things (dumb unlikeable things, but still). 90210 seems to be trying to character-assassinate Brenda by... having her boyfriend cheat on her with her best friend and her be upset by it. Her reaction to the whole thing was mild, if anything, but it was written as though she was such a bitch because she didn't step aside, give them her blessing and move on right away. If you want Brenda to be the bad guy, you could just make her the bad guy. I just find it mind-boggling.

[AndySmith]

I still can't see the full article (and using a different computer), so if anyone can see the full article, would be interesting to see what the cast thought about SD's exit.

[bilgistic]

Maybe I'm not seeing the full article, then. It ends for me when Luke Perry says he needs an action movie. That worked out well for him.

[AndySmith]

Oh that definitely wasn't the end of the article.

[Mya Stone]

OMG guys...this David "music" clip went on WAY TOO LONG. I can't breathe.

[STOPSHOUTING]

I was a teenager in 1992 when this aired (spoiler alert: this means I am old now). I, personally, was not cool, but I observed it from afar. In no way could that Casio-created abortion "performed" by the big, bad B.A.G. be considered "music" in any sense of the word. It sounded like nothing that was then, or ever will be, popular, hip or cool. Not a thing.

Also not a thing in the '90s? Men's short shorts, Steve! Is this Three's Company? No one past Jack Tripper wore anything that revealing in public. This also glaringly reveals Ian Ziering's almost-40 reality vs. his supposed-to-be-17 character. I guarantee no human male that actual age would have felt comfortable out and about in Richard Simmon's cast offs. I've seen Olympic swimmers display more modesty.

I am not a crackpot.

[heshy]

I think you guys are a little hard on Brooke. Based on her hair and clothing, she was clearly born in the 40s.

Also, I was hoping she would build the Reichstag in the sand castle contest.

[glowbug]

Dylan is obviously the bigger asshole in the deception storyline, however, I'm not giving Kelly a pass. If she were just some random girl it wouldn't have been that bad but she was Brenda's best friend. She also owed it to Brenda to stay away from her boyfriend. Dylan's lack of guilt and remorse and the fact that he's the one cheating on Brenda and his overall attitude make him so much worse but Kelly isn't great either.

[Callie]

What I always assumed Dylan meant when he told Kelly "you made it happen" was that (maybe?) he wanted to tell Brenda the truth and she didn't with her "there's nothing to tell" speech.

And I know that Dylan was a total douchebag for not feeling any remorse for what he did but, for me, betraying your best friend was way worse than fooling around behind your girlfriend's back, especially when you're in high school. I'm glad that Kelly at least had the decency to feel bad about it.