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Erika Girardi/Erika Jayne: Let them eat cake


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I never said slut or horrible. I hope that is the message that was conveyed. I simply think Erika and her dreams didn't allow for a small child.

Erika comes off as dispassionate unless it is about "things" and even then she remains somewhat aloof. She is proud of the fact she hasn't many friends. I am not counting her posse of primpers.

If you are talking about parenting, I think LVP and Kyle also have very differing parental styles. I would consider Kyle a pretty good example of a parent and more relatable than LVP, only because LVP has raised her children with fabulous wealth and on two different continents.

Sorry, I was having a Kim/Brandi moment. Kyle is a good parent, but she's lucky to have money on tap and not to rely on wages, I don't know if it's acknowledged.

Erika made the choices, Kyle, LVP and the others don't have to apologize for their lifestyle or be compared to Erika. Yolanda said she would work as a prostitute to feed her children, LVP didn't agree wither statement. Nor should they be condemned if they don't give Erika's choices a stamp of approval. Much like her videos-I find them tawdry and raunchy and not the least bit empowering to women. Eileen loves them. According to Heather Dubrow, Shannon Beador is enthralled with Erika-go figure.

Only Erika had to choose.
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45 year old bravolebrity Erika Girardi Jayne is one thing, but 18 year old Erika from nowheresville who has a young child to a skeezy strip club owner or whatever. She had no child star sister to mooch of off, or a Persian millionaire baby daddy. She wasn't born in Beverly Hills.

We don't know what Erika's husband was doing while they were married.  I've watched Erika Jayne, somehow I don't think she would be all that appalled at her husband being in the entertainment business.  I believe her ex-husband owns a male strip club that caters to women. 

 

Kyle's ex husband is Indonesian, and Kyle worked when she was married to Farrah's father. 

 

Erika made the choices, Kyle, LVP and the others don't have to apologize for their lifestyle or be compared to Erika.  Yolanda said she would work as a prostitute to feed her children, LVP didn't agree with her statement.  Nor should they be condemned if they don't give Erika's choices a stamp of approval.  Much like her videos-I find them tawdry and raunchy and not the least bit empowering to women.  Eileen loves them.  According to Heather Dubrow, Shannon Beador is enthralled with Erika-go figure.

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I don't care to learn more about Erika.  I have no interest learning why she left her son.  None.   She is a cold, bitchy woman and I have not seen anything to like.   I don't sense any of the cast like her either, including Yolanda.  

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I just hope nobody on the show asks Erika anything about her son, because it will surely be turned into something nefarious and LVP being blamed.

 

No, Kyle will be blamed. They will say LVP manipulated Kyle....LOL

Edited by Vicky8675309
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Sorry, I was having a Kim/Brandi moment. Kyle is a good parent, but she's lucky to have money on tap and not to rely on wages, I don't know if it's acknowledged.

Only Erika had to choose.

 

Only Erika had to choose what? Stay in NYC and raise or be near her son or move....

so Erika dreamed of being a waitress in LA or dreamed of marrying a rich guy?

The article says she didn't decide to get into singing/dancing until after being married to Tom for a few years. She moved to LA to see what was there for her or something to that effect.

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What if Erika and her first husband had an amicable agreement about the son?  What if Tom were the lawyer who drew up the agreement?  What if Erica and her son have been in touch all of his life?  What if the agreement called for the dad to raise and care for the son, but Erika had full rights to telephone or see the son at any time?  What if Tom knew the Chief of Police because Tom went to him and inquired about a job for the son on the LAPD?

 

We talk about Erika "leaving" her son, but that could mean only in distance.  Isn't it possible that she's never left him, that they've been together in many other ways all of these years?  What if the son took the LAPD job to be closer to his mother, physically and emotionally? 

 

It just seems to me that there may have been a rush to judgment here, a knee-jerk assumption that Erika has been a terrible mother because she chose to move away when, in actuality, she has fostered a relationship with him that is nearly as close as if she'd been with him in person, possibly taking part in his decision making, etc.  Possibly Erika's reticence about talking about all of this is simply too complicated to tell the other HWs on first meeting.  Our discussion here continues to gnaw at me, remembering that there are two sides to every story.

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What if Erika and her first husband had an amicable agreement about the son?  What if Tom were the lawyer who drew up the agreement?  What if Erica and her son have been in touch all of his life?  What if the agreement called for the dad to raise and care for the son, but Erika had full rights to telephone or see the son at any time?  What if Tom knew the Chief of Police because Tom went to him and inquired about a job for the son on the LAPD?

 

We talk about Erika "leaving" her son, but that could mean only in distance.  Isn't it possible that she's never left him, that they've been together in many other ways all of these years?  What if the son took the LAPD job to be closer to his mother, physically and emotionally? 

 

It just seems to me that there may have been a rush to judgment here, a knee-jerk assumption that Erika has been a terrible mother because she chose to move away when, in actuality, she has fostered a relationship with him that is nearly as close as if she'd been with him in person, possibly taking part in his decision making, etc.  Possibly Erika's reticence about talking about all of this is simply too complicated to tell the other HWs on first meeting.  Our discussion here continues to gnaw at me, remembering that there are two sides to every story.

I think for some of us, the thought of moving across the country like she did while leaving her only child, a toddler, behind with his father seems foreign. Most Moms would never consider doing that, I know I could not have done that. I do hope that she and her son had/have a good relationship while he was growing up on the East Coast and now that he lives in LA. His father moved to Vegas a year before their son moved out west so maybe he was able to get a job in LA due to TG contacts but not in Vegas where his father now resides. It is a strange story though, anyway you look at it, strange.

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Whether anyone thinks Erika had the right to leave her child behind or not, if she was "mother material" or wasn't, my heart breaks for the little three-year-old boy whose Mommy left him. He would not have cared about or understood any of those things.

Edited by PumpkinPK
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It just seems to me that there may have been a rush to judgment here, a knee-jerk assumption that Erika has been a terrible mother because she chose to move away when, in actuality, she has fostered a relationship with him that is nearly as close as if she'd been with him in person, possibly taking part in his decision making, etc.

There is judgement, I feel, because that's just not possible. Even if she spoke with him several times a day (and I doubt that she did), that's not the same as being tucked in by her every night, waking up to her everyday, and just knowing she was there.

For me, I just don't see leaving your child unless you really have to as being any kind of a decent mother. From what we do know, including her own words that her husband didn't have a choice but to take the child, it doesn't seem she had to leave him.

I am glad they seem to have a good relationship now, and that he's grown up to be a fine man.

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Also she stated in that podcast:

 

As Erika explains it, she moved to So Cal to “see what’s possible” for her and claims her hubby had “no choice” but to accept her decision.

 

So, to me she is saying that she decided to move to LA and basically said to the ex that he's taking care of their child.   I don't see how Tom Girardi had anything to do with drawing up any agreement since she hadn't even met him yet.  If she moved to LA and was a waitress, where did money come from for her to fly back and forth to NY to see her son before she moved in with TG?  According to the Bravo site, Erika moved to LA in the hopes of becoming an entertainer. 

 

Sorry but to me Erika was not into motherhood and decided to go to LA and dump her kid on the ex.  She chased TG and landed him.  Did she have a relationship with her son all the years she was out in LA?  Maybe but her son was not at her wedding to TG. 

 

Bottom line for me is that she left her child in NY (where many possibilities exist for an entertainer) while she went to LA.  Tells me a lot.  Did she have a relationship with her son over the years?  I don't know but he wasn't a part of her marriage ceremony to his future stepfather.  I hope they did have a good relationship over the years but to me, Erika is a pretty selfish woman. 

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Only Erika had to choose what? Stay in NYC and raise or be near her son or move....

so Erika dreamed of being a waitress in LA or dreamed of marrying a rich guy?

The article says she didn't decide to get into singing/dancing until after being married to Tom for a few years. She moved to LA to see what was there for her or something to that effect.

She moved to LA to pursue a career in entertainment, she just didn't have very much success until Tom started funding her. She has two acting credits (very small parts, in very small movies) from around the time she first moved out to LA. It's very typical (I'm basing all of this on Riki Lindhome's "Making It" podcast) for aspiring models/actors/whatevers to waitress while waiting for their big break, gotta still pay the rent. 

 

I listened to parts of the Heather Macdonald podcast when it was first posted on reddit. I've held off on posting about it, because I have some mixed feelings about it. First of all, it immediately changed my opinion of her. I think I'd assumed that part of the reason she married Tom is because she was a struggling single mom, and people will do a lot to support their kids. But no, she just seemed to want a blingy lifestyle for herself and she must have noticed that she wasn't going get their through her entertainment career. 

 

On the one hand, I feel guilty for being judgmental, there's so strong ideas about what mothers have to be like in order to be "good enough" that don't necessarily extend to fathers. On the other hand, if a man with a three year old moves across the country on a whim and stays there for the rest of their kids childhood, I have absolutely no problem labeling them as a deadbeat dad in my mind. It's not that I think women have to be maternal, it's just that once you've made the decision to have a kid, I think you have a moral obligation to actually take care of them. And in this day and age of birth control and abortions, I have a lot less sympathy for mothers who decide parenting wasn't for them after all, than I would have had for women in the same situation 100 years ago. 

 

As an aside, I've known a couple of guys with dads like that, and at some of them seemed to worship their dads well into their twenties. Because when you see your dad a few days or weeks per year, they're always fun, especially compared to your mom who you sees everyday and who has to actually parent you. 

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She moved to LA to pursue a career in entertainment, she just didn't have very much success until Tom started funding her. She has two acting credits (very small parts, in very small movies) from around the time she first moved out to LA. It's very typical (I'm basing all of this on Riki Lindhome's "Making It" podcast) for aspiring models/actors/whatevers to waitress while waiting for their big break, gotta still pay the rent. 

 

I listened to parts of the Heather Macdonald podcast when it was first posted on reddit. I've held off on posting about it, because I have some mixed feelings about it. First of all, it immediately changed my opinion of her. I think I'd assumed that part of the reason she married Tom is because she was a struggling single mom, and people will do a lot to support their kids. But no, she just seemed to want a blingy lifestyle for herself and she must have noticed that she wasn't going get their through her entertainment career. 

 

On the one hand, I feel guilty for being judgmental, there's so strong ideas about what mothers have to be like in order to be "good enough" that don't necessarily extend to fathers. On the other hand, if a man with a three year old moves across the country on a whim and stays there for the rest of their kids childhood, I have absolutely no problem labeling them as a deadbeat dad in my mind. It's not that I think women have to be maternal, it's just that once you've made the decision to have a kid, I think you have a moral obligation to actually take care of them. And in this day and age of birth control and abortions, I have a lot less sympathy for mothers who decide parenting wasn't for them after all, than I would have had for women in the same situation 100 years ago. 

 

As an aside, I've known a couple of guys with dads like that, and at some of them seemed to worship their dads well into their twenties. Because when you see your dad a few days or weeks per year, they're always fun, especially compared to your mom who you sees everyday and who has to actually parent you. 

 

I agree with you and it just didn't make sense moving cross the country just to see what was out there. I assume she didn't have success in NYC and felt she would give it (acting) a try in LA and waitressed to support herself. I wish she would have said that. I do think less of a parental figure moving far from their child for a potential for a career with very low probability of her obtaining.  Logically I know I shouldn't judge her but emotionally I do (not proud of it). Logically I think, maybe she didn't realize she didn't want to be a mother util too late and wanted to try to reach her dream. I didn't have children--pursued my career and the limited downtime I had, I didn't want to spend being a mom (plus I don't have much of a maternal instinct, except with pets). However I knew this since I was young and was vigilant about using birth control properly. So I tell myself that she didn't figure that out until too late. I also think that I would have had major issues if one of my parents left me to pursue their dream. So from a child's view (my emotional view) is affects my opinion of her even though rationally I shouldn't let it affect my opinion. i'd have the same conflicted feelings it a father did the same thing but for some reason I think it would be harder for the mother.....).  I have mixed feeling on all of this. 

 

It didn't help that I already wasn't a fan of hers prior to reading that article.

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I suspect there's something in her past that prevented her from gaining custody.

More like something in her present-she didn't want custody. 

 

Erika continues to come off as materialistic and soulless.  And she doesn't seem to mind the vibe.  I am curious where grandma was living during this time-the one she was close to.

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Only Erika had to choose what? Stay in NYC and raise or be near her son or move....

so Erika dreamed of being a waitress in LA or dreamed of marrying a rich guy?

The article says she didn't decide to get into singing/dancing until after being married to Tom for a few years. She moved to LA to see what was there for her or something to that effect.

 

I thought she was singing/dancing longer than that only because she said on a couple of occasions that she's been performing her entire life. She hasn't?

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I thought she was singing/dancing longer than that only because she said on a couple of occasions that she's been performing her entire life. She hasn't?

She is very vague about her previous experience.  She claims a lot of non specific relationships with show biz.

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I don't relate to this vapid woman on any level, thankfully.

I don't have kids by choice. If I got pregnant by accident and did have a child, I'd take responsibility for it and raise it well.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't leave my dog and pick up and move across the country.

Personally, this child-leaving issue aside, there are plenty of other reasons I find to dislike EG. I'll say it again, I hope that she and her paid gang of sycophants are gone next season.

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She is very vague about her previous experience.  She claims a lot of non specific relationships with show biz.

I'm going to talk some smack about my adopted home of the American SE. Erika is from the South I have no doubt she was "miss maple glaze 1993" or part of some dance troupe called " the southern Belle all stars". Trust me on this. ( ducks tomato)

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I'm going to talk some smack about my adopted home of the American SE. Erika is from the South I have no doubt she was "miss maple glaze 1993" or part of some dance troupe called " the southern Belle all stars". Trust me on this. ( ducks tomato)

 

I didn't know she was from the south. My mother was born and raised in Louisiana. I know exactly what you mean! I was such disappointment being the only girl. Not a cheerleader or a beauty queen. haha

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More like something in her present-she didn't want custody.

Erika continues to come off as materialistic and soulless. And she doesn't seem to mind the vibe. I am curious where grandma was living during this time-the one she was close to.

Prostitution, there I said it.
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^ is this a guess or do you know something? Spill my friend.

Just a guess. She had absolutely no success in New York (AFAIK). Easy target.

Plus all her "owning the inner whore" doesn't seem genuine, I don't think she likes herself, and her expensive trinket consumption rate suggests she is essentially not happy, despite having apparently "it all".

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She went to a performing arts HS in Georgia. Then moved to NYC at 18. Had her son around 20/21. Was it planned or unplanned who knows? Her husband was an investor/entrepeneur.  Runs strip clubs. Prostitution? Maybe you're right Kokapetl.  I was thinking maybe mob ties with the dad and that's why she didn't want to fight custody.  I can see Erika not being maternal or maybe not having wanted to get pregnant to begin with and maybe the dad not wanting her to give it up either by abortion or adoption.  Who knows?  Not us for sure.  

 

It is very unusual as many have stated for a mother to up and leave a 3 year old.  But probably not unheard of.  Sometimes in life the father is the more "maternal" parent. Maybe it just is as simple as that.  Erika may not be a maternal person, and that has to be ok for women. So long as she was present in her kid's life in a healthy way that a divorced dad would be, women shouldn't be labeled as having to be the custodial caregiver when the father actually would be the better one.  What's in the best interest of the child should control.

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She went to a performing arts HS in Georgia. Then moved to NYC at 18. Had her son around 20/21. Was it planned or unplanned who knows? Her husband was an investor/entrepeneur.  Runs strip clubs. Prostitution? Maybe you're right Kokapetl.  I was thinking maybe mob ties with the dad and that's why she didn't want to fight custody.  I can see Erika not being maternal or maybe not having wanted to get pregnant to begin with and maybe the dad not wanting her to give it up either by abortion or adoption.  Who knows?  Not us for sure.  

 

It is very unusual as many have stated for a mother to up and leave a 3 year old.  But probably not unheard of.  Sometimes in life the father is the more "maternal" parent. Maybe it just is as simple as that.  Erika may not be a maternal person, and that has to be ok for women. So long as she was present in her kid's life in a healthy way that a divorced dad would be, women shouldn't be labeled as having to be the custodial caregiver when the father actually would be the better one.  What's in the best interest of the child should control.

I do find it odd that she left her son behind but my maternal instinct is strong. I also don't think she is alone in not having it but I do find it telling that her son was not at her wedding to TG. Because he wasn't present, I then have to wonder if she kept in contact via phone and not so much face to face/physical visits. He, her son, went to college in NJ and only moved west after graduating, which was a year after his dad (primary caretaker) also moved west to Vegas. Something is off with this and I hope that they, Erika/son, have developed a relationship now that he is in the LA area. I have to say, it is also possible that Erika has little to do with her son because Tom didn't want to raise anymore kids at his age when they married.

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So I sort of listened to Heather McDonald and Erika.  Big build up by Heather as to Erika being the most exciting new RH ever.  The interview went downhill from there.  Essentially Heather McDonald likes to talk and snark about celebrities.  Heather is trying to draw something out of Erika-it is painfully unsuccessful-she is like a hostile witness on the stand and questions have to be phrased as elicit a yes or no.  So Heather starts talking Erin Brokovich-something that at best is before Erika's  time in the stirrups with Tom and makes some comment about Julia Roberts hair at when she got her Oscar.  No sense of humor Erika corrects her about it being all about the Oscar.  Erika, who claims to know very little about pretty much everything should have checked Heather McDonald out before appearing.

 

The subject then turns to Kathryn and repeating the conversation to LVP Erika and Kathryn had.  In maybe the dumbest of all imagined RH rules, Erika said, something to the effect-the camera is never there, if it is a conversation between two people it remains between two people. However, if it is said in front of more than one person it is fair game.  Because this woman is both soulless and humorless, I drew from the conversation, she really is that dumb.  Another strike for Yolanda's gauge of intelligent women-first herself and now Erika.

 

The other thing that didn't ring true was Erika trying to tell the story of how she was hired.  I find it suspect that "couple friends" Tom and Erika were invited out to Malibu for just an evening of mirth and merriment at the Fosters.  First off you have Yolanda saying she was spent after last year's late February taping of the Reunion, David saying Yolanda didn't get out of her bathrobe for nine months and Yolanda forever saying she only had one dinner at her house last year and that was the ladies and Babyface (2014).  All of sudden, once they had moved into town, they are inviting the Girardi's to Malibu?    Something smells fishy.  I can see David meeting Tom for some reason and perhaps David and Yolanda crossing paths, I don't see them getting together as a couple.   This smells a little like the Adrienne/Brandi friendship.

 

I may have misheard but I could swear I heard Erika say her son lives at home.

Edited by zoeysmom
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I wonder what Yo ( I zuffer zo my children can live) thinks of all that?

I think as long as Erika keeps rubbing Yolanda's feet and kissing her behind, she is fine with it. Remember, always remember, it is always about what others can/should/are required to do for Yolanda first and foremost. LOL

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I'm going to talk some smack about my adopted home of the American SE. Erika is from the South I have no doubt she was "miss maple glaze 1993" or part of some dance troupe called " the southern Belle all stars". Trust me on this. ( ducks tomato)

I am more in the "miss roadkill 1995" camp myself? Somewhere there is a school yearbook that has a photo of her with the same hairdo and clothes.

Well her tag line is correct she really is an enigma wrapped in cash.

Thanks for clearing that up,. I thought she said "she was an enema racked up in her ass"

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Heather starts talking Erin Brokovich-something that at best is before Erika's time in the stirrups with Tom and makes some comment about Julia Roberts hair at when she got her Oscar.

Metaphorical equestrian stirrups > metaphorical gyno stirrups

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My mom said, "Just because you can have a kid, it doesn't make you a mom."

 

Ej isn't a mom, she just plays one, like her performing alter ego.

 

It's all a show/pretend, she preens and tries to be a 'sex symbol' in a place and to an audience where no one really cares.

She is a cold fish, that one.

 

Her whole world is bought/rented/superficial. I can see her spending money on her 'art', then getting into a huge throwndown with her hubby about the costs.

 

In a way, her and yoyo have/had the same kind of agreement?

It's like a private GoFundMe  fund just for 'trying to find a cure/I want to be a entertainer'....at what point do you look at your SO and tell them enough is enough?
 

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According to the Internet, Erika is Tom's only wife which is interesting because he didn't marry until he was 60. I see two disconnected people who married and who play a role in each other's life instead of actually fulfilling each other. It seems like more of a business arrangement. The Yolanda/Erika/Tom/David may have been a business arrangement of sorts as well. No real friendship there. Erika's life is all about arrangements, even her "art." 

 

I wonder if Tom is doing a Kelsey Grammer and is offering up or agreeing to fame over marriage for Erika. Camiille didn't see it coming. Erika will and maybe that is why she behaves. Everyday, Erika must wonder if she is living on borrowed time with Tom. It is not a marriage of equals.

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According to the Internet, Erika is Tom's only wife which is interesting because he didn't marry until he was 60. I see two disconnected people who married and who play a role in each other's life instead of actually fulfilling each other. It seems like more of a business arrangement. The Yolanda/Erika/Tom/David may have been a business arrangement of sorts as well. No real friendship there. Erika's life is all about arrangements, even her "art." 

He definitely has at least one ex-wife (but I think there were two). The woman he was married to before Erika was called Kathy, if I remember correctly (it was a while ago that I researched this). And he has at least two children (but I *think* there were three), but they're a lot closer to Erika's age than her son's.  

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I just heard this business about Erika leaving her son behind when he was three. It sounds like she went off to find fame to make a better life for herself. Yup that's a shitty mother. Sorry, if she were a man, we'd be referring to her as a total deadbeat.

I will always love Lisa for her response to Yolanda's defense of prostitutes and the idea that prostitution was the only means for them to feed their children. I suspect that while the Dutch are more open about prostitution, the ladies that engage in the profession likely suffer from the same issues as American prostitutes...addiction/abuse/etc...

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Erika may have grossed 5 million along the way of her illustrious career but Tom probably had to pay 10 million for her to get those paychecks.  Maybe he lets her keep the money she earns but maybe he makes her give him the money to offset his investment.  She doesn't act like a woman who has her own money imo.

 

Here's another article about Erika.  I think her ex husband looks like a douchey scumbag.  His business seems like a borderline male prostitution/sex industry thing.  The article also says Erika has no relationship with her father.  Hmmmm.  Maybe that's why her "dream" was to come to California and marry an elderly hard boiled egg.  There's definitely a daddy/daughter vibe happening with them.

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He definitely has at least one ex-wife (but I think there were two). The woman he was married to before Erika was called Kathy, if I remember correctly (it was a while ago that I researched this). And he has at least two children (but I *think* there were three), but they're a lot closer to Erika's age than her son's.  

Thank you for correcting me. That's what I get for pulling information off the Internet 

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So I sort of listened to Heather McDonald and Erika.  Big build up by Heather as to Erika being the most exciting new RH ever.  The interview went downhill from there.  Essentially Heather McDonald likes to talk and snark about celebrities.  Heather is trying to draw something out of Erika-it is painfully unsuccessful-she is like a hostile witness on the stand and questions have to be phrased as elicit a yes or no. 

 

I may have misheard but I could swear I heard Erika say her son lives at home.

 

 

Holy crap about all the information about Erika.  Good work guys.  I can't bring myself to listen to the podcast though, so glad to read and hear about it.

Bolding mine - Erika did say that her son lives at home with her and Tom.  I listened to the entire podcast and the thing that struck me was how often Heather cut Erika off.  It was quite evident in Erika's tone that she was pissed.  She could not get a sentence out.  I think this is why the interview was unsuccessful.  I will say that when there was a question she was uncomfortable with, she gave a very short answer. 

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Erika is SO beautiful. I love that she shows you can be over 20 and still be hot as ever and pursue your dreams. 

 

I think when she said she's been entertaining all her life she meant she grew up taking dance class, going to performing arts school, not that she'd been making a living being a singer her whole life. It sounds like she pursued it in her 20's, but she didn't catch a break. Then decided she wanted to get back doing what she loves when she was 35. 

 

I think it's great Tom supports her work. I don't like how he shuts her down though when she just wants to get a few words in. She's a grown woman, his wife, not a little girl mouthing off in the middle of an important speech! That would drive me crazy. I hope he treats her well other than that. If not, I wouldn't care how much money he has, it not be worth the lack of respect.

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Bolding mine - Erika did say that her son lives at home with her and Tom.  I listened to the entire podcast and the thing that struck me was how often Heather cut Erika off.  It was quite evident in Erika's tone that she was pissed.  She could not get a sentence out.  I think this is why the interview was unsuccessful.  I will say that when there was a question she was uncomfortable with, she gave a very short answer. 

I have listened to Heather Dubrow, Brandi and Heather McDonald and they are all in varying degrees quick to interrupt.

Brandi is the worst followed by Heather McDonald and then the other Heather.

 

I think what made Erika difficult is she didn't really  have anything negative to say about the others.  Great trait in real life --horrible for an interview.  Erika made a point of saying it was okay for Tom to shut her down for interrupting.  She just isn't terribly interesting or bright.  I think Vanderpump said it best, "Erika doesn't have the same sense of humor."  Erika doesn't have a sense of humor.  She just struts around acting superior to the others.  

 

Until Erika gets over this her husband is better than everyone else so please be on your best behavior around him, she will always be a bore.  The others are there to listen to him, to me, he is a side show, on the RHBH.  I do think the enigma is Erika thinking everyone should act as if they are in the manor proper when she has a very different alter ego.  Could be just me but she fails miserably with the southern bell expectations, with her 10 pounds of hair, drag make-up and dresses way too short, even for a two year old wearing matching pants that cover the diaper.  People are every bit as shallow as Erika in their expectations of others' behavior. 

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I have listened to Heather Dubrow, Brandi and Heather McDonald and they are all in varying degrees quick to interrupt.

Brandi is the worst followed by Heather McDonald and then the other Heather.

 

I think what made Erika difficult is she didn't really  have anything negative to say about the others.  Great trait in real life --horrible for an interview.  Erika made a point of saying it was okay for Tom to shut her down for interrupting.  She just isn't terribly interesting or bright.  I think Vanderpump said it best, "Erika doesn't have the same sense of humor."  Erika doesn't have a sense of humor.  She just struts around acting superior to the others.  

 

Until Erika gets over this her husband is better than everyone else so please be on your best behavior around him, she will always be a bore.  The others are there to listen to him, to me, he is a side show, on the RHBH.  I do think the enigma is Erika thinking everyone should act as if they are in the manor proper when she has a very different alter ego.  Could be just me but she fails miserably with the southern bell expectations, with her 10 pounds of hair, drag make-up and dresses way too short, even for a two year old wearing matching pants that cover the diaper.  People are every bit as shallow as Erika in their expectations of others' behavior. 

 

Right! Talk about an enigma. Everyone showed up to dinner in designer sheath dresses and Erika's wearing a leopard print romper she probably bought from the sex shop Ken is converting into a restaurant. I'm not excusing everyone else's behavior at that dinner because it was embarrassing, but in general it's hard to take her seriously. I'll preface this by saying I don't have a problem with the word "cunt" but let's not pretend it's a compliment. For someone who was so adamant about poking fun at Kathryn and making everyone uncomfortable with her cunty necklace, she has no sense of humor or even a modicum of self-awareness.

 

Total side note, I haven't subjected myself to BG's podcast so I can't speak to that. But I'll occasionally tune in with the Heathers and in my opinion, Dubrow only cuts someone off if she can anticipate they will say something stupid. I'm sure she's sacrificed a few good sound bites but personally I find it admirable.

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So I sort of listened to Heather McDonald and Erika. Big build up by Heather as to Erika being the most exciting new RH ever. The interview went downhill from there. Essentially Heather McDonald likes to talk and snark about celebrities. Heather is trying to draw something out of Erika-it is painfully unsuccessful-she is like a hostile witness on the stand and questions have to be phrased as elicit a yes or no. So Heather starts talking Erin Brokovich-something that at best is before Erika's time in the stirrups with Tom and makes some comment about Julia Roberts hair at when she got her Oscar. No sense of humor Erika corrects her about it being all about the Oscar. Erika, who claims to know very little about pretty much everything should have checked Heather McDonald out before appearing.

The subject then turns to Kathryn and repeating the conversation to LVP Erika and Kathryn had. In maybe the dumbest of all imagined RH rules, Erika said, something to the effect-the camera is never there, if it is a conversation between two people it remains between two people. However, if it is said in front of more than one person it is fair game. Because this woman is both soulless and humorless, I drew from the conversation, she really is that dumb. Another strike for Yolanda's gauge of intelligent women-first herself and now Erika.

The other thing that didn't ring true was Erika trying to tell the story of how she was hired. I find it suspect that "couple friends" Tom and Erika were invited out to Malibu for just an evening of mirth and merriment at the Fosters. First off you have Yolanda saying she was spent after last year's late February taping of the Reunion, David saying Yolanda didn't get out of her bathrobe for nine months and Yolanda forever saying she only had one dinner at her house last year and that was the ladies and Babyface (2014). All of sudden, once they had moved into town, they are inviting the Girardi's to Malibu? Something smells fishy. I can see David meeting Tom for some reason and perhaps David and Yolanda crossing paths, I don't see them getting together as a couple. This smells a little like the Adrienne/Brandi friendship.

I may have misheard but I could swear I heard Erika say her son lives at home.

So is Heather McDonald not trying for funny anymore?
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I'm not Erika's biggest fan because I think she isn't a very appealing person.  She's cold and materialistic, and as far as I can tell, doesn't really enjoy life.  She certainly doesn't have much of a sense of humor.

 

But in one place, I do empathize.  Some of you know I was abused starting as a baby by a narcissistic mother.  I've been in and out of therapy most of my life, and I'm sane and happy now.  But that hasn't always been the case.  I married a narc just like dear old mom and had a baby with him when I was about Erika's age.  Because I had never been mothered myself, I had no clue how to be a mother.  Still, I loved my child and I did the best I could.  I fell into a deep, debilitating depression that lasted over a year.

 

I'm not going to go into details but suffice it to say it was one of the lowest points of my life.  I made some really bad choices and the end result was that my ex colluded with my mother, and when I finally left him he lied to me about certain things and got custody of our child.  I fled to the opposite end of the country.

 

I did the best I could to be there with a phone call or a gift, but it's not the same at all to a little one.  We did spend long periods of time in the same city, and when we did, we saw each other regularly.  I still have a certain amount of guilt about it, but my child and I have worked things out.  If my child understands and doesn't hold it against me, why should anyone else?

 

Here's the thing.  They do.  Especially women, who see other women who can't or won't mother as unnatural.  So I learned to not talk about it much, even though I felt the details exonerated me.  I still was judged, a lot, and frequently criticized to my face.  My "loving" mother had ammunition to shoot down my self-esteem, and did, for decades.  She brought the subject up in our weekly phone conversations, ironically judging me harshly for being a terrible mother - and I couldn't disagree, only abjectly apologize to the one who actually created the situation.  

 

So which is better for a child in the long run?  A mother who hated her baby and abused her emotionally throughout her life - although she provided me with food, clothing and a place to live there was absolutely no love, or a mother who just simply - couldn't mother.  Neither is a good situation, but at least I've taken responsibility and done the best I could.  My child was the one that paid the heaviest price, and as far as I'm concerned is the only one who has the right to judge me.

 

So I don't judge Erika, at least for this.  We weren't there.  We don't know what really happened.  Maybe Erika has always been the self-absorbed bitch we see on our TV screens today.  Maybe she became that way after losing her child.  I know it changed me.

On the other hand, I'm gonna mock Erika Jayne with her cunty necklace and syncophants and stupid stage show and fake friendships with every breath in my body.

Edited by Reo
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