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S13.E03: Spines And Vines


Tara Ariano
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I bitched out Padma every time she said in that cold, haughty voice "you may go now", as if dismissing her peasant slave.

 

I like Padma, but that bothered me, too.  Why not just say something like "Thank you" to let them know the diners were all done with their commentary?  "You may go now" sounded ... well, exactly as you described so I need not come up with my own.

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Since I love me some crab salad I'm glad Kwame won.  He also seems like a sweetheart in the way that he bonded with his partner, one of the beard bros.  (Chad?)  Also a very nice pep talk to poor Wesley who had to fail in front of Richard Blais.  

 

I still can't stand Blais and I bitched out Padma every time she said in that cold, haughty voice "you may go now", as if dismissing her peasant slave.

Yes, yes and yes. I dislike Blais but try to tolerate him by reminding myself at least its not Mike Isabella. And I can't stand Padma's affectations; she's a former model and a host and the author of a not-very-good cookbook. She's really not that special (and, no, nothing to do with my screen name.)

 

I did want to say something positive about sea urchin/uni for those who've never had it and might be repelled after reading some of the descriptions here. The first time I had it (after it being much hyped that it "tastes like the ocean"), it smelled like sewage water and tasted about the same.

 

A year passed and I tried it again, somewhere else. What a difference!  Maybe it wouldn't appeal to everyone even if fresh (as my first one wasn't). But I loved it--it has a lightness, kind of evaporates in your mouth while the flavor pops--a kind of "pure taste of the ocean", a light and delicate burst of the sea. Hard to explain but so good.   I've never had uni butter and pasta but if someone was worried about trying it, that sounds like a good way to start.

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Karen with the pink hair irritates me for some reason. And she reminds me of someone but I can't figure out who it is, someone on TV or someone I know personally. 

 

Karen was on an episode of Beat Bobby Flay - won the first round, went up against Bobby.  I can't remember if she won.

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I hate vocal fry.  So that is just another aspect of Grayson I dislike.  She also sounds smug and whiny at the same time.

It was a winery. She was just trying to fit in.

On a more serious note, now that she gets to use "proteins", Grayson isn't bothering me that much, at least not yet. Of the 200+ cheftestants who've appeared on Top Chef -- I'm counting All-Stars participants twice and the mega eliminations in the first episodes of Texas & Seattle -- Grayson probably isn't even in my Top 25 most annoying or hated cheftestants.

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It definitely felt as if Philip (Manbun) was networking when he shook hands and introduced himself to the sea urchin supplier.  I suppose it makes sense as he is a southern California chef but it came across as very self-serving.  Perhaps that's what the editors wanted us to see though.  

 

I wasn't bothered by Wesley.  While his sloppy kitchen habits are not impressive, I do believe he's a very good chef.  He stood up there at JT and took all the criticism directed at his dish and showed that he understood exactly why his dish failed and agreed with it.  I'm sure it was extremely embarrassing to stand there in front of the former owner of the restaurant where he is now the executive chef.  He knows he's much better than the food he presented, but that matters not a whit when what's on the plate is not very good.  I'm glad he wasn't the one sent home.  I think we're going to see some very good dishes from him.

No matter how good her dish was--and it seemed to be one of the very best--how was Karen even eligible to beat her head to head competitor?  The chefs know just how many portions they have to serve.  If they're not able to put forward that number, they haven't complied with the challenge.  She should not only have been ineligible for the overall win, she should have lost her round.  She certainly wouldn't have gone home, nor would she have been in the bottom three but she sure shouldn't have been in the top three when she messed up badly.

I think it was a good episode and I do feel that I'm starting to get a handle on who's who.   

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Karen with pink hair reminds me of a Karen with pink or purple or green hair who was on Project Runway.

 

Kwame is adorable.  Talented and gracious.  Nice combination.

 

Padma is an entitled, arrogant beyotch.  I want her to jump in there some time and try to do even one of the challenges she so haughtily dismisses cheftestants for failing.  I became a lot more tolerant of the judges on Chopped after they themselves got in there to compete.

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Karen with pink hair reminds me of a Karen with pink or purple or green hair who was on Project Runway.

 

Kwame is adorable.  Talented and gracious.  Nice combination.

 

Padma is an entitled, arrogant beyotch.  I want her to jump in there some time and try to do even one of the challenges she so haughtily dismisses cheftestants for failing.  I became a lot more tolerant of the judges on Chopped after they themselves got in there to compete.

I think the judges of Chopped got a lot more tolerant after they tried it, too.  It seemed to me Scott Conant in particular reined in some of the comments he made about time management. 

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Ugh. Wesley The Pig is still a Pig.  Did you see him spit out the food projectile style?  I mean rather than using ANY decorum in disposing of it?  No doubt sending spittle all over that kitchen.  Fuck this pig.

 

I almost think Tom was asked last about who won that round so he wouldn't torpedo Grayson. That little laugh he gave was almost a "I can't believe I have to vote for this chick" kind of laugh.  Certainly he doesn't respect her much.

 

Manbun again found things to be condescending and sound superior about.  Manbun really needs to be kicked in the jewels a few dozen times to settle him down a bit.

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1. In a new country, my friend locates the nearest World Heritage Site while I go scope out the food markets to see what they have I've never heard of.  2.  Under the circumstances, I don't think the Donner party had anything to be ashamed of.

 

So it's weird that uni is the only food I've ever put in my mouth I wasn't sure I could swallow.  Everyone says how fresh and ocean-y it is and it looks like it would be a smoother version of trout roe, which is a salty fishy treat.  Nope.  It was like sucking up the slime at the bottom of the bait bucket after my daddy dumped the dead minnows.

 

But okay, PreTV Padma, I'm going to give it another shot!

***************

Laughing at none of us knowing the names, but the show isn't being very helpful.  Two of the best plates were done by men whose names the judges kept saying, but sometimes the camera went to the one looking grateful and sometimes to the one looking chagrined.  <throws hands in air>

*****************

Chickpea really harshed the buzz during Fun Roadtrip Stories:  "Well, there was that time my family kicked me out. . ."   I hated to see her go; she was my favorite. 

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Urgh. I thought it was just me not being able to remember this year's cheftestants as quickly as usual because I had some medical issues about a month ago that have wreaked complete havoc on my short-term memory ... so I've been thinking Isaac was Jason over the first two weeks. 

 

Which cheftestant made the egg drop soup dish (I can't remember exactly what it was but I remember thinking Oh no no no, don't do that!)?

 

I'm still mixing up all the brunettes and I hadn't even remembered there was someone with pink hair. I fear for my reality TV watching future if this condition doesn't resolve.

 

I think my two favorites are Kwame (DC rep! I can't get behind Marjorie for some reason, maybe because as mentioned I mix up all the brunettes) and Isaac (who isn't Jason). Glad Kwame won and thought that was one of the best non-monetary prizes they've had in a while.

 

It took me a week to figure out who Philip reminds me of and I think it's Derek Hough (I don't watch Derek Hough shows but I do read People Magazine, the next best thing to making sure you know who the B-list reality show celebrities are). 

 

Gotta say I love the concept of the California road trip for this season ... looking forward to vicariously sightseeing and picking out new places to visit when we move there in a few years.  So right now I want to move to Santa Barbara (after I win the lottery) and go hang out at this vineyard.

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PamelaMae:  I've been to Santa Barbara and it is paradise on earth but outrageously expensive.

My friend had her wedding up there and it is beautiful.  I feel like not every area is super expensive, but the nicer areas are, and there are some nearby suburbs, that are close but not as expensive.  

 

There is great seafood, however the BEST, BEST, BEST food I had up there was from a very small, crappy taco stand.  They hand roll the tortillas and everything is homemade.  It is so delicious that I would absolutely eat there and forego any seafood.  They only take cash, and there is always a line around the corner.  

 

Now after having had Pink's disgusting hot dogs, I don't trust that a line around the corner means good food.  However, in this case, it sure does.  I live in So. California....home of tasty mexican food, and I've never, every been able to find anything as good as those tacos in santa barbara.

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They tricked me with the editing - I thought guy-whose-daughter-is-named-Madeline was going to take the win. 

 

I kind of loved Padma not getting any fish but wonder if Karen couldn't have asked the servers to give that portion to one of the random votes? Or Blaise? 

 

I have a theory that all of us who loved Greyson in Texas did so because compared to pretty much everyone else on that season she was adorable and loveable and human, but when you put her with a bunch of cheftestants who so far mostly seem kind of nice (I loved some of the pairings and the way they helped each other out) she's just annoying. 

 

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There is great seafood, however the BEST, BEST, BEST food I had up there was from a very small, crappy taco stand.  They hand roll the tortillas and everything is homemade.  It is so delicious that I would absolutely eat there and forego any seafood.  They only take cash, and there is always a line around the corner. 

 

I think you're talking about La Super Rica. Many years ago a reviewer in The New York Times called it the best restaurant in the country (obviously factoring in cost for value). Yes, the food is definitely good, but there are some other good, cheap Mexican places in that part of Santa Barbara where you would not encounter the crowds. It's funny how one place can get such a reputation that people are willing to put up with almost anything to eat there.

 

In a neighborhood where I used to live in NY, there was one bakery that always had a line on weekend mornings for their muffins and coffee cakes. I personally didn't think their stuff was better than several other bakeries close by, but they had the reputation. I think that foodies often have a herd mentality, and being able to brag about how long you waited in line becomes a status symbol.

 

On the subject of this week's episode, I agree that Kwame seems like a cool guy, and he's shown himself to be one of the stronger chefs.  But neither he nor anyone else seems that extraordinary. In most seasons, usually by the third episode a couple of chefs have really distinguished themselves and created a buzz as being the ones to beat. Not feeling that so far. Everyone sees to be on the same middling level.

Edited by bluepiano
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They tricked me with the editing - I thought guy-whose-daughter-is-named-Madeline was going to take the win. 

 

I kind of loved Padma not getting any fish but wonder if Karen couldn't have asked the servers to give that portion to one of the random votes? Or Blaise? 

This is the first time I recall Padma not getting a portion, but I think through the history of the show it's been made obvious that somehow a missing/incomplete portion ALWAYS winds up with the judges (or it doesn't get mentioned on camera at all). It happens too often for it to be coincidence. If the "guests" ever get shorted we don't hear about it (so likely they ensure it never happens, unless the Cheftestant REALLY runs short and not just by one portion). 

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I kind of loved Padma not getting any fish but wonder if Karen couldn't have asked the servers to give that portion to one of the random votes? Or Blaise?

I don't think in this situation it would have mattered and she wouldn't have won even if one of the Animal guys got no fish.

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I think you're talking about La Super Rica. Many years ago a reviewer in The New York Times called it the best restaurant in the country (obviously factoring in cost for value). Yes, the food is definitely good, but there are some other good, cheap Mexican places in that part of Santa Barbara where you would not encounter the crowds. It's funny how one place can get such a reputation that people are willing to put up with almost anything to eat there.

 

In a neighborhood where I used to live in NY, there was one bakery that always had a line on weekend mornings for their muffins and coffee cakes. I personally didn't think their stuff was better than several other bakeries close by, but they had the reputation. I think that foodies often have a herd mentality, and being able to brag about how long you waited in line becomes a status symbol.

 

On the subject of this week's episode, I agree that Kwame seems like a cool guy, and he's shown himself to be one of the stronger chefs.  But neither he nor anyone else seems that extraordinary. In most seasons, usually by the third episode a couple of chefs have really distinguished themselves and created a buzz as being the ones to beat. Not feeling that so far. Everyone sees to be on the same middling level.

Yes, that is the place.  And it is one of the few places where I would put up with a line.  Thats how good the food was, to me.  The only other place that has ever even held a candle was a food truck that hung out next to my school in Downtown LA.  Even talking about it, I can taste those fresh tortillas.

 

I'm not necessarily about status, and I certainly don't consider myself a foodie.  Never again will I wait in a Pink's line, unless I'm with a tourist who refuses everything else.  We actually went to La Super Rica because my friend's uncle/family friend owns it and thats how she knew about it.  And I was hesitant at first, but that place has the best corn tortillas I've ever had.

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I don't think in this situation it would have mattered and she wouldn't have won even if one of the Animal guys got no fish.

True, and that's as it should be, but Padma's the one who is going to be the most sneery about it (although if I'm remembering the Animal guys right from the Seattle season they might have been pretty snarky too). 

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True, and that's as it should be, but Padma's the one who is going to be the most sneery about it (although if I'm remembering the Animal guys right from the Seattle season they might have been pretty snarky too).

Tom has been much worse and even Eric Ripert has been sneery when he was missing an element.

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I wonder if Tom was trying his hardest to think of some way to not have to pick Grayson over the other two. He seemed be in disbelief.

Yes, same impression I got. That's why he laughed. He was kind of throwing shade on Grayson even while saying she won.

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I love carrots! Love, love, love them in anything, on anything, prepared any way. Except carrot cake.

We are polar opposites.  I DESPISE carrots and I consider them the lowest vegetable on the totem pole.  I used to buy a frozen stir fry mix from Trader Joes and would spend about 15 minutes just picking out carrots.  I won't get a salad if it has carrots in it.  I'll avoid carrots on a dinner plate.  But I will eat a carrot cake like its nobody's business.

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I was a little confused by the guy who loves eating madeleines so much that he named his daughter after them and yet has somehow never heard the name said out loud.

Based on how he described naming her I thought he intentionally went for a basic American version of the name.

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Maybe it's been mentioned and I just haven't seen it but I can't get over these guys with the giant beards (Chad!) that don't wear beard nets while they are cooking. All the long haired women (and even Phillip) put their hair up or tie it back. You can't tell me that the facial hair doesn't end up in the food sometimes so why is it never mentioned? That would be the grossest thing to find in your food, same coarseness as a pube, blech! I used to work in a food production plant and beard nets were mandatory for those who had them, why aren't they implemented on this show the same way they keep their head hair back? And if your profession is a chef, why would you even sport a beard like that and even take a chance on that falling in your food? All it would take is one person posting a review saying they found a pube in their food and that restaurant is toast!

Our local PBS station has a hometown guy (I think he's also a station functionary) who fancies himself a chef.  He has cooking shows and features local home cooks and their recipes.  I can't stand to watch the guy cook because although he rolls his sleeves up to his elbows (he doesn't wear a chef's coat) his forearms are super hairy, plus he always wears a humongous watch and a couple of rings, including a signet ring.  I just find it gross, thinking of his arm hair falling into the food.  The jewelry strikes me as inappropriate and also likely to harbor bacteria.

That said, I am also bothered by most cooking shows, including U.S. and British ones, where the contestants hair is not pulled back.  For all the concern Padma et. al have about tasting spoons etc., one would think they would just require proper kitchen hair hygiene. 

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I was a little confused by the guy who loves eating madeleines so much that he named his daughter after them and yet has somehow never heard the name said out loud.

 

Here is the correct pronunciation.  

 

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Here is the correct pronunciation.

That's what I've always heard. Madeline, OTOH, is the little girl with the two rows of kids and the nun, so also french ;)

Edited by Julia
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Karen with the pink hair irritates me for some reason. And she reminds me of someone but I can't figure out who it is, someone on TV or someone I know personally. 

She kind of reminds me of a 'Next Food Network Star' contestant - not anyone in particular, but a type they always have on there, someone who's always UP! and PERKY! and SASSY! In fact when she introduced herself as 'the sassy chef' I thought to myself "That's the USP you'd use if you were on NFNS!"

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I really hate it when the eliminated cheftestants complain that they never got to cook their own food.  For the first elimination challenge (or was it the second?), they were told they could cook whatever they wanted, as long as they could feed 200 people.  Great chance to cook your own food!  Why didn't you, Frances?  And in this episode, Frances bullied her teammate (whose name escapes me) into doing Thai even though he is an Italian chef, so how did she not get to cook her own food this time?

 

Shut up Frances.  Not sorry to see you go.

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I really hate it when the eliminated cheftestants complain that they never got to cook their own food.  For the first elimination challenge (or was it the second?), they were told they could cook whatever they wanted, as long as they could feed 200 people.  Great chance to cook your own food!  Why didn't you, Frances?  And in this episode, Frances bullied her teammate (whose name escapes me) into doing Thai even though he is an Italian chef, so how did she not get to cook her own food this time?

 

Shut up Frances.  Not sorry to see you go.

I think that annoyed me with Francis too.  I don't think she bullied him, but he was stuck because I think she probably isn't a great chef.  Or if she is great, she doesn't have much range.  

 

I understand that you have a certain cuisine you like, but if you're going on TC, you should spread your wings a little.  Maybe at least learn a few techniques, or spices from different cuisines.

 

I think the guy basically capitulated because Frances didn't know how to cook any other style of food.  And then she fucked it up.

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It finally struck me who Marjorie (last week's winner/honey-yogurt mousse) reminds me of: Julia Sweeney. She kind of even moves like Pat.

 

 

YES!  That is it! It has been bugging me; I thought I knew her from somewhere!  Brilliant. 

Edited by wings707
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Based on how he described naming her I thought he intentionally went for a basic American version of the name.

 

 

Madelyn (same) would be the American way.  Mad-a line is the Paula Dean way!!!  LOL 

Edited by wings707
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Is it too early to write that this is one of those times I find Padma really irritating as a judge?

No. She annoys me a lot. Today, she lost me at The Santa Barbara county.   The article use, even though it may be correct grated on my eardrums. 

Edited by gryphon
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I thought she started out to say "the Santa Barbara area," and then for some reason replaced area with county.  Maybe it was part of a sponsorship deal or something. It did end up sounding really odd. 

 

So far I'm liking most of them.  I find Philip annoying and seemingly overconfident, but he showed signs of maturity in this episode.  I view him as a big, overenthusiastic puppy, honestly, occasionally irritating and bumptious, but meaning well.  Guess we'll see.  Right now the guys look stronger than the women, but, again, we'll see.  

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And in this episode, Frances bullied her teammate (whose name escapes me) into doing Thai even though he is an Italian chef, so how did she not get to cook her own food this time?

 

"Bully"? Not everyone who manages to get others to agree with their plans is a "bully." There are other methods for doing so, like "persuasion," "negotiation," etc. To my eyes Frances did those things. 

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Since Grayson cut the bitch routine for this episode, I didn't really get upset with her. Her win served as sweet redemption for the previous poor showings. However, Giselle rocketed to the top of my hate list after going off about the eggs, along with the treatment of Angelina while shopping. Wasn't it her who had all the insecurity issues about cooking chicken wings in the previous episode? Not looking forward to more drama from her; therefore, I really wish she had been eliminated in the sudden death quickfire.

 

Kwame impresses me given his level of experience, but I was not wowed by the look of his crab salad. Even though it seemed a bit too simple, I guess it tasted amazing. The other thing that impressed me was helping Chad butcher the lamb. *THIS* is the type of cooperation and competition I want to see, not the never-ending drama. In fact, several of the chefs had a really great report with their head to head competitors, and I think it really showed in their cooking.

 

While I was impressed with Messy Wesley in the Quickfire, I was again scared by him in the kitchen. The sauce stencil really didn't impress anyone. That he missed major components of his dish is just a continuation of his messy clutter from the first episode. I'd really like to know what Richard thought of Wesley taking over his restaurant after this poor showing, and upon seeing the first episode.

 

While it might not have been very good, I admit to being tickled by the foam on the surf dish by Angelina. If you were ever going to do a foam, with all its gimmickness, put it on seafood. Just don't torture your ingredients to do it. As far as the carrots, I guess this is this season's version of scallops, as someone else pointed out.

 

Manbun and his actions continue to annoy me. Just stop already.

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Since Grayson cut the bitch routine for this episode, I didn't really get upset with her. Her win served as sweet redemption for the previous poor showings. However, Giselle rocketed to the top of my hate list after going off about the eggs, along with the treatment of Angelina while shopping. Wasn't it her who had all the insecurity issues about cooking chicken wings in the previous episode? Not looking forward to more drama from her; therefore, I really wish she had been eliminated in the sudden death quickfire.

 

Kwame impresses me given his level of experience, but I was not wowed by the look of his crab salad. Even though it seemed a bit too simple, I guess it tasted amazing. The other thing that impressed me was helping Chad butcher the lamb. *THIS* is the type of cooperation and competition I want to see, not the never-ending drama. In fact, several of the chefs had a really great report with their head to head competitors, and I think it really showed in their cooking.

 

While I was impressed with Messy Wesley in the Quickfire, I was again scared by him in the kitchen. The sauce stencil really didn't impress anyone. That he missed major components of his dish is just a continuation of his messy clutter from the first episode. I'd really like to know what Richard thought of Wesley taking over his restaurant after this poor showing, and upon seeing the first episode.

 

While it might not have been very good, I admit to being tickled by the foam on the surf dish by Angelina. If you were ever going to do a foam, with all its gimmickness, put it on seafood. Just don't torture your ingredients to do it. As far as the carrots, I guess this is this season's version of scallops, as someone else pointed out.

 

Manbun and his actions continue to annoy me. Just stop already.

I honestly think Grayson is very literal in her approach to things (as she herself told us in an interview in her previous season), but also at the same time sarcastic. It's a dangerous combo for a reality show and people thinking well of you.  She's not a bitch really, just a head case.  And clearly, whatever casting magic went on, has grown a beef with Tom (a bi-directional one based on his grudging acceptance of her victory here and almost laughing it off).  

 

Wesley The Pig missed components and super-lame stencil were far from his worst moment of the Ep, although it's a good point the missed stuff is part of his bad habits. I just can't get over that image of his rocketing that meat out of his mouth projectile style into the air--perhaps hitting a garbage can or not. I'm sorry, but you do not spit in a kitchen. Ever.  The saliva does not all magically evaporate or go where you intend. Fucking Pig. I loathe this guy. I don't care how well he cooks.

 

Manbun probably fooled some people into thinking he was redeemed this episode with his comments near the end about how he hadn't expected to win, etc. I call bullshit. That's what he said to another competitor to save face. His Talking Heads showed what he really thought, plus (in a more subtle moment than last episode) we once again saw his need to play expert tour guide in the car where he felt compelled to "explain" Santa Barbara to his carmates.  He just reeks of pretentiousness no matter what he does, IMO.

 

Kwame is so low key.  That either usually means either a quick silent boot or a late-in-the-season player (where his "story" comes out later). That second one is more likely given what we've seen of his performance.

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