The Favorite Quotes Thread Excitation

[Indy]

From The Cooper/Kripke Inversion:

 

Sheldon (about his and Amy's supposed hot coitus): When our bathing suit areas mush together, boy howdy, is it magic

 

Sheldon: If Kripke asks, tell him my coitus with Amy is frequent, intense, and whimsically inventive

Leonard, to Penny: Is my coitus whimsically inventive?

Penny: That is what I write on the bathroom walls. For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter 

[Eri]

I don't recall the episode but it had to do with Sheldon (Einstein von Brainstorm) giving Alex (Tandalaya) an inappropriate lecture at work because she was flirting with Leon...err I mean Ricardo Shilly Shally ;)

 

Human Resources lady: You said that she was a slave to her biological urges and then proceeded to call her an egg salad sandwich.

Sheldon: Oh, I see she must have thought I was singling her out. I meant to say that all women are slaves to their biological urges. Even you!

Human Resources lady: *blank stare..*
Sheldon: You're a slave!

Human Resources lady: ....I'm a what?

 

The delivery was just perfect!

 

 

[Ina123]

I can't remember the episode but Penny says something that Raj just is dying to say something about but because he can't talk around women he kinda squeaks like an excited dog and Penny says:

 

Oh, what's wrong, Lassie, did Timmy fall into the well again?

[LoneHaranguer]

The Lassie comment comes at the end of The White Asparagus Triangulation when Raj sees that Dr. Stephanie updated her Facebook status (TBS reran that episode last night).

[supposebly]

The Panty Pinata Polarization:

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your ken can kiss my barbie.

[BigBeagle]

From The Recombination Hypothesis, after Sheldon discovered his life-sized Spock cutout was not of the Nimoy variety:

 

Sheldon: Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.

[stafford]

When Penny comes into the comic book store for the first time with Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Howard and Stuart comes up to her and says "Blink three times if you are being held against your will".

[LoneHaranguer]

That reminds me of this exchange from The Transporter Malfunction:

 

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?

Penny: Yeah, it was fun; I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good.

[Runningwild]

Just this morning, there was a traffic report mentioning Euclid. I don't think anyone noticed me in my car yelling, "No! Not Euclid!"

[Indy]

Just this morning, there was a traffic report mentioning Euclid. I don't think anyone noticed me in my car yelling, "No! Not Euclid!"

Last year, my DH and I were trying to find a restaurant using my terrible GPS and it was taking us nowhere that looked like it should have restaurants.  The second-to-last direction was to turn onto Euclid Avenue.  At the same time, we both yelled "Oh No! Not Euclid Avenue!" - which was really appropriate because the end of the directions was into an apartment complex and not a restaurant...

[riley702]

Euclid Ave is not a great part of Indy to be in.

[BMGepinniw]

From the Jiminy Conjecture:

Raj to Sheldon, Howard and Leonard: Insects creep me out.

Sheldon: Interesting.  You're afraid of insects and women.  Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

i've collected ladybugs for years, and I love BBT.  When I saw Sheldon's quote on a coffee mug, I had to buy it. 

[Tamariskie]

Yesterday brought several BBT quotes to mind. I was at a natural history museum that had a polar bear exhibit (Go, Polar Bears), within the bug exhibit, a field cricket (I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight) and at dinner, heard My Girl on the music system (Marcy Grossman is sunshiiiiiiine on a cloudy day....).

[Indy]

Euclid Ave is not a great part of Indy to be in.

Indeed it is not, though that incident wasn't in Indy.  We were somewhere in Northern Virginia.  

[nguyhm]

I love the scene when Sheldon was forced to take vacation and he had to sit on the stairs and acted like a dog - he dropped his head and sighed with a dog sound.  Penny wanted to run errands and asked him to go along, she snapped and said "come on boy" and he happily jumped up and followed her.  Absolutely priceless.

[Tamariskie]

A couple more:

 

When Zach went with the guys to the comic book store

Stuart: You guys finally chip in and hire a bodyguard?

 

When the guys were telling stories about Sheldon while hanging out at Raj's apartment after Leonard and Priya started dating

Sheldon: <knockknockknock> All my friends, <knockknockknock> All my friends, <knockknockknock> All my friends

Howard: Is it like Beetlejuice? Did we say his name too many times?

[Jediknight]

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!

Howard: Is that going to be on the test, because I don't think I can do that again.

[editorgrrl]

Copy & pasted from the Entertainment Weekly review of season 8, episodes 1–2:

 

"My girlfriend wanted to move in with me, which was no doubt a ploy to just see my—well, excuse my language—my bathing suit parts." —Sheldon

 

"I'll have you know Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants, and a nation rallied behind him." —Sheldon

 

"Pajamas are the sleeper pants of 'the man.'" —Sheldon

 

"I'm having my windows un-tinted… I got a hot girlfriend now, I want the haters to know." —Raj

 

"There's lots of books called Sherlock Holmes, and there's no books called Officer Hernandez." —Sheldon

 

"You're built for pharmaceutical sales: you're cute, you're flirty, and… I started that like there were going to be three things." —Bernadette

 

"Like our lawyers say, the world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed." —Bernadette

 

"Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick." —Sheldon

 

"Leonard, as soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy… Okay, she can't hear." —Sheldon (I admit, the Big Bang writers had me going on that one.)

 

"Pouting and running away actually worked. I must say that may not be a lesson you want to reinforce with me." —Sheldon

 

"What do you like better, 'Emipali' or "Koothrapemily'?" —Raj

 

"Sheldon, I promise. Your uvula does not have an STD." —Leonard
"Are you sure? It doesn't feel as innocent as it used to." —Sheldon

[SongbirdHollow]

Kripke: "This is a stweet fight! There are no wules!" 

 

Edited to add: This was on last night and the actual quote was:

 

"Are you cwazy? This is a stweet fight! The stweet has no wules!"

Edited September 30, 2014 by SongbirdHollow

[PaulaO]

From Howard's mother (can't remember which episode):  "I'm not dressed to receive."

Howard (from Bat Jar Conjecture) regarding Leslie Winkleman: " Hit that thang."

[Jediknight]

Leonard: Howard, this is big science.  You could be the engineer that builds the equipment that puts on the cover of magazines.

Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Raj: Still might get on a magazine.

 

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu.  My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next.  Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings.

[editorgrrl]

Copy & pasted from the Entertainment Weekly recap of "The Hook-Up Reverberation" (season 8, episode 4):

"Tell me a dinosaur-chicken-salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot." —Sheldon

 

"Since when do you read social science?" —Howard
"I go to the bathroom, like everybody else."—Sheldon

 

"What happens if she doesn't like us?" —Leonard
"You're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a few years and then you're dead to me." —Raj

 

"Even if it turns out you don't have dengue fever, they still let you take a lollipop." —Sheldon

 

"I'm with him three years, nothing; she's with him two minutes, he's taking his pants off." —Amy

 

"Without you, we're playing fast and loose with the word 'list.'" —Raj

 

"Do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list? Do you think when she and I had that conversation she left people off her list?" —Leonard
"I'm sure she did." —Sheldon
"Why?" —Leonard
"Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list." —Sheldon

"Can you stay out of this?" —Leonard
"If only Penny had said that every once in a while." —Sheldon

[One Tough Cookie]

I love Amy and  love this for many reasons:

 

"A friend in my trundle bed and a boy at my door.  I wish I could go back and tell my 13 year old self it does get better".

                                                                     and

"A tiara!  A tiara!   Put it on me!  Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it  me!  Put it on me!"

Edited October 10, 2014 by One More Time

[buffynut]

I laughed out loud at this line from last night's syndicated episode.  It was the one where Will Wheaton invites the guys to a party at his house and Sheldon won't go because Will is still on his mortal enemy list.   Anyway a guy from Star Trek is also at the party and finally Sheldon arrives as he wants to meet him.  Anyway things transpire and Star Trek guy ends up on Sheldon's list and Will replies "don't worry, it doesn't take up much of your time".

 

edited to add: the clip, because everything can be found these days if you Google

http://bigbangtheory.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Big_Bang_Theory_Brent_Spiner_at_Wil_Wheaton%27s_Party

Edited October 11, 2014 by buffynut

[ginger90]

Sheldon: I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?!

[editorgrrl]

Copy & pasted from the Entertainment Weekly recap of "'The Expedition Approximation" (season 8, episode 6):

 

"Are they making fun of us? I miss the old days when I couldn't tell." –Sheldon

 

"I'm always busy. This mind is capable of advanced multitasking. Currently, I'm attempting to solve the Penrose Conjecture, I'm composing my Nobel acceptance speech for when I solve the Penrose Conjecture, and I'm wondering how mermaids have babies." —Sheldon
"Don't they lay eggs on a rock?" —Raj
"[Pause] Now I've got room for another thing." —Sheldon

 

"I'll just Google 'hot, dark, and moist' and see what comes up!" —Sheldon

 

"When I was an undergrad, I spent days in [a steam tunnel] pledging a sorority ... they forgot I was there, but it really opened up my pores." —Amy

 

"Admittedly this brushes up against my well-known aversions to heat, small places, going below floor level, dampness, hatches, ladders, darkness, echoes, and eliminating in Home Depot buckets. That last one is quite new, but I have a feeling that's going to rocket to the top of the list." —Sheldon

 

"Okay... How about a little Miley Cyrus next?" —Raj
"Who's he?" —Sheldon

 

"So as Hannah Montana, Miley was a world famous pop star, but then she would take off her wig and go to school like a normal girl—which, I don't have to tell you, at that age is its own headache." —Raj
"That's preposterous. How would she go unrecognized just by wearing a wig?" —Sheldon
"But you're okay with Superman concealing his identity with a pair of glasses?" —Raj
"He doesn't just put on a pair of glasses. He combs back his curlicue and affects a mild manner personality." —Sheldon

Edited October 23, 2014 by editorgrrl

[Bort]

Sheldon: We'll take some Funyons.

Amy: Anything else?

Sheldon: Some York Peppermint Patties, a couple of Dr. Peppers, and run to Best Buy and see if they have a portable DVD player and Season 1 of a show called Hannah Montana.

Raj: Have her get Season 2. In Season 1 it was still finding itself.

[editorgrrl]

Copy & pasted from the Entertainment Weekly recap of S08.E08: The Prom Equivalency:

 

"Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and I did not want to go to an American prom. But then I saw Never Been Kissed and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom thing has been a real roller coaster." —Raj

 

"Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on." —Sheldon
"Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him." —Leonard
"His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does." —Sheldon

 

"It's all the fun of high school hi-jinx with the self-protecting zip of antioxidants." —Sheldon [regarding his plans to spike the prom punch with a flask of pomegranate juice]

 

"I took a little lady I like to call loneliness. We ended up having a threesome with her friend, humiliation."—Leonard

 

"According to an online message board, I may be having a panic attack. SoccerMom09 had similar symptoms. But to be fair, the twins were a real handful that day." —Sheldon

 

"I'm not blind. Even I looked twice when I saw my posterior in these tuxedo pants." —Sheldon

 

"There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love." —Sheldon

[missbonnie]

Three pages and not a single BAZINGA!?? Loved everything else though so much.

[MaryHedwig]

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always was, rock crushes scissors.

Edited November 12, 2014 by MaryHedwig

[Runningwild]

When the girls were making plans to go to Vegas:

 

Penny: I'll check the hotels!

Bernadette: I'll check the airlines!

Amy: I'll check my underpants, I think I peed myself!

[BooksRule]

From 'The Griffin Equivalency': 

 

(When Sheldon smiles that horrendously creepy smile)  Howard:  'Oh, crap, that's terrifying.'  Leonard:  'We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.'

[Rhetorica]

Stephen Hawkings on AI: 

"Humans, who are limited by slow biological evolution, couldn’t compete, and would be superseded." 

When I read this I thought of The "Agreement Dissection" when Pryia beat Sheldon by finding loopholes in the Roommate Agreement. Leonard brags to Sheldon, "Top of her class in Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries and your face! Schooled!! SUPERSEDED!!!"

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always was, rock crushes scissors.

My husband bought me this t-shirt. We tried to play it with the our kids. It was, Hilarious !

[ShadySab]

"Why hast thou forsaken me, o deity whose existence I doubt ?"

One of Sheldon's best lines hahahahah (when his World of Warcraft account got hacked)

[marinite]

Quote from the episode The Pirate Solution:

Leonard: Ive always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

 

Raj cracks me up here!

[stuffedanimals]

Penny??? *knock knock knock*
Penny??? *knock knock knock*
Penny??? *knock knock knock*

 

I love Sheldon at the knocking time. He is so funny and a genius.

[Driad]

 

And the way Penny sometimes sabotages Sheldon's knocking:

Sheldon:  *knock knock knock*

Penny:     "Who do you love?"

Sheldon:   "Penny?"

[sigmaforce86]

Sometimes the background extra gets the best line

 

When Sheldon's World of Warcraft account was hacked

 

Policeman:  Look Mr Cooper

Sheldon:  Doctor Cooper

Policeman (looking at Leonard):  Really?

perfect delivery of doubt and fright at the same time

 

Plus of course Leonard's reaction to the hacker taking Sheldon's ostrich:  Oh not Glen

Edited December 30, 2014 by sigmaforce86

[Gulftastic]

Haven't time to check all three pages, so apologies if it's been posted already:

 

'So you say you can't pay your rent?'

[Driad]

 

 

Policeman:  Look Mr Cooper

Sheldon:  Doctor Cooper

Policeman (looking at Leonard):  Really?

perfect delivery of doubt and fright at the same time

 

IIRC, Leonard than said something like "Not the kind with access to drugs."

 

[Runningwild]

James Earl Jones: Ay yi yi bang bang!

[riley702]

James Earl Jones: Ay yi yi bang bang!

James Earl Jones: What were you asking me at the strip club?

Sheldon: Oh. How much does it cost to get them off my lap?

 

Both quotes start at 1:30 (but the first part is pretty funny, too).

 

Edited January 2, 2015 by riley702

[Runningwild]

It's not funny anymore, James!

Then why am I laughing?

[WickedTuna]

Big ol' 5.

[poppy-]

I laughed out loud at this line from last night's syndicated episode.  It was the one where Will Wheaton invites the guys to a party at his house and Sheldon won't go because Will is still on his mortal enemy list.   Anyway a guy from Star Trek is also at the party and finally Sheldon arrives as he wants to meet him.  Anyway things transpire and Star Trek guy ends up on Sheldon's list and Will replies "don't worry, it doesn't take up much of your time".

 

edited to add: the clip, because everything can be found these days if you Google

http://bigbangtheory.wikia.com/wiki/File:The_Big_Bang_Theory_Brent_Spiner_at_Wil_Wheaton%27s_Party

 

"A guy from Star Trek".  Poor Brent Spiner.  He was everyone's favorite (after Patrick Stewart) back in the day.

[WickedTuna]

Sheldon: How can I relax? My nervous system is being stretched out like the strings of a harp and plucked by holes and birds and wind and the low-hanging scrotum of the difficult-to-evict Professor Rothman.

I still laugh so hard at that I almost fall off the couch.

[AriAu]

I love when I can use the Big Bang Theory in everyday conversation!

Someone just asked me if the other guy is smart and I said

Yeah-you'd have to drive a railroad spike through his brain for me to beat him at checkers.

[WickedTuna]

It's on, bitch. Said while doing the required head jerk.

[Jediknight]

From Thursday's episode

 

Sheldon: "When I lost my own father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it, you do."

 

Leonard: "To Mrs. Wolowitz, a loving mother, to all of us."

[Bouffe]

"Yes. YES. My brain is better than EVERYBODY'S!!!"

 

-Sheldon, E7x03 - The Scavenger Vortex