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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

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I really think  it is nice that Janelle mentioned something good about each one of her sister wives and their mothers.  

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3 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I really think  it is nice that Janelle mentioned something good about each one of her sister wives and their mothers.  

I agree - not sure about the "Grandma Annie" part tho. Why would Annie be a version of Janelle in another universe? 

And did she deliberately leave out Mykelti?

Edited by Elodia · Reason: Forgot to mention Mykelti. Just like Janelle ;-)
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6 hours ago, Elodia said:

I agree - not sure about the "Grandma Annie" part tho. Why would Annie be a version of Janelle in another universe? 

And did she deliberately leave out Mykelti?

I'm not sure why she used Annie as an alter ego either.  Annie supplemented her income by whipping up handbags out of remnant material.  Janelle has anxiety and needs planning strategy meetings to paint corn cans.

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10 hours ago, Elodia said:

And did she deliberately leave out Mykelti?

Here we thought she was magnanimous for mentioning all of her sister wives and their mothers, but forgot that the other wives' kids are also supposed to be part of their big, loving, happy family too. And it is Mykelti's first mother's day.

Edited by deirdra
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I just saw Janelle changed her Twitter caption. For a long time it read "Mom of 6, but I feel all 18 are mine" She deleted this sentence. Go figure. I think she couldn't care less about Mykelti and her baby daughter. 

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Oh 🤮🤢 that looks disgusting!

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I can only imagine that the salmon is like mush after being steamed! Who steams salmon? A few minutes in a hot skillet with oil or butter, S&P, and you have a glorious piece of fish

My late cat hacked up stuff that looked better than that.

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How can you even make salmon look like that?  Wrapping salmon in foil and putting it in the oven works well, too, and without having to clean the Instapot.  I don't think I've eaten cooked fish that I've had in the refrigerator for more than a couple of days.  A week?  I don't think so.

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59 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

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Is the food on a bare table? Or a cutting board? 
 

 

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I really have to quit looking at this thread while I eat.  So unappetizing.  I think she wrote that not to convince her audience, but to convince herself.

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20 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Is the food on a bare table? Or a cutting board? 
 

 

A cutting board on her stovetop.

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My first thought was "she needs professional help".

a. cooking professional

b. nutritionist

c. social media professional

d. therapist

Does she not have any adult interaction? I get that she is a low key introvert, but her posts of late seem to have a dear diary vibe to them. No offense, but the Mothers Day post while touching, was weird. Isn't that something you write in a card or say directly to the person? A really long heartfelt social media post to the world. Ok Janelle, you're really a good person. I used to kind of like her, but can't shake the image of her mopey, self stuck in the camp chair out of my brain. 

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How do you manage to think those ingredients won't be good together? That's, like, a classic salmon glaze. 

Maybe the same "talent" that makes a simple salmon dish look like....that....makes you delulu that ingredients that always go together wouldn't taste good. She'd probably freak out at sprinkling salmon with sea salt and lemon.

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2 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I don't think I've eaten cooked fish that I've had in the refrigerator for more than a couple of days.  A week?  I don't think so.

No way in hell.

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3 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

How can you even make salmon look like that?  Wrapping salmon in foil and putting it in the oven works well, too, and without having to clean the Instapot.  I don't think I've eaten cooked fish that I've had in the refrigerator for more than a couple of days.  A week?  I don't think so.

After a week it would be spoiled or give food poisoning!

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1 minute ago, iwantcookies said:

After a week it would be spoiled or give food poisoning!

Maybe this is a clue to her digestive problems.

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"Interesting food cooked at home is ALWAYS better than take out"?!? 

Ummmmmm not in this case. 

"Interesting" food sounds like those canned chocolate covered insects that they used to sell at Cost Plus. 

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I have to admit, as I was reading the latest post by Janelle, I purposefully scrolled down super-slowly, delaying the sight of her food as long as possible because I knew it was going to be a hoot.  And it was!!!!  It might taste good, but it looks like garbage.

Janelle, honey, never change.  Your foodie pics always deliver the funny and the snark!!!

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What appointments could Janelle possibly have, starting at 9 a.m.? 

  • Kody - No
  • Job - No
  • Workout - So she may claim, but it's so hard!
  • Plexus Live (Noon in North Carolina)
  • Strive social-media posting

And, despite her hectic schedule, she can eat leftover salmon at home for lunch every day.  I suspect her appointments are Barcalounger, Google and refrigerator.

Edited by Grifter Lives
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I agree she has to be trolling us!

Gastrointestinal doctor at 9 am? I agree where is she going? 
 

Maybe at 9 am she switches from bed to couch 🤣🤣🤣

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5 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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How can she take something as yummy and delicious as salmon and make it look so disgusting??

that slop looks like it needs to be cooked and why is she cooking it in batches.. it only takes a few minutes to cook a piece of salmon and then it would be fresh, hot and delicious instead of week old cold salmon slop from the fridge.

The thing that drives me nuts about janelle is her sloppy, lazy way of doing everything.

I hate to think of her personal hygiene because she’s such a lazy slob about everything else.... there’s no way that she’s scrubbing her bits and pieces and shaving her private areas... her gut is so huge that I don’t think she’s seen her feet for years and it hangs over her genitals so I doubt she even tries to tend to that area.

the bottom of her feet are always black with dirt. 🤮

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40 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

How can she take something as yummy and delicious as salmon and make it look so disgusting??

that slop looks like it needs to be cooked and why is she cooking it in batches.. it only takes a few minutes to cook a piece of salmon and then it would be fresh, hot and delicious instead of week old cold salmon slop from the fridge.

The thing that drives me nuts about janelle is her sloppy, lazy way of doing everything.

I hate to think of her personal hygiene because she’s such a lazy slob about everything else.... there’s no way that she’s scrubbing her bits and pieces and shaving her private areas... her gut is so huge that I don’t think she’s seen her feet for years and it hangs over her genitals so I doubt she even tries to tend to that area.

the bottom of her feet are always black with dirt. 🤮

omg!!!  Joan you're killing me! 🤣😂😆

I know from experience that a gut that large makes it very difficult to do any precision clipping and cleaning, I gained more with my last pregnancy than I had with my other children and for the last trimester I had a gut slightly smaller than Janelle and it was a bitch to keep everything neat and tidy but I'm a bit of a clean freak so I positioned mirrors and kept at it until everything was done 🧐 but I really can't imagine lazy ass Janelle putting in that much time or effort.

As you mentioned her feet are always dirty and look like they could use a good scrub and exfoliation treatment to remove dried dead skin and callouses.

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5 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

That looks like barf or diarrhea 🤮🤣

It almost made me barf seeing just the top inch of the photo!

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2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

After a week it would be spoiled or give food poisoning!

Janelle would probably drink some Plexus to fix that right up.

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58 minutes ago, Dustbunny said:

omg!!!  Joan you're killing me! 🤣😂😆

I know from experience that a gut that large makes it very difficult to do any precision clipping and cleaning, I gained more with my last pregnancy than I had with my other children and for the last trimester I had a gut slightly smaller than Janelle and it was a bitch to keep everything neat and tidy but I'm a bit of a clean freak so I positioned mirrors and kept at it until everything was done 🧐 but I really can't imagine lazy ass Janelle putting in that much time or effort.

As you mentioned her feet are always dirty and look like they could use a good scrub and exfoliation treatment to remove dried dead skin and callouses.

Ooops!...sorry Dustbunny 😂..maybe I went too far but honestly I do wonder about her hygiene.

she had that McNugget above her lip forever and we all talked about it over and over again but she did nothing until people started telling her that she needed to go have it checked out!

her oral health is another area where it’s obvious to see her teeth and swollen gums, one of my daughters is a dental hygienist and she always grimaces at the site of Janelles teeth and gums. 
As you said her feet usually look rough and badly in need of some attention.

it just makes me wonder what else is being neglected 😋

 

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Janelle, I will pay you to stop posting pictures of food.  It's making me ill.

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On 5/9/2021 at 10:57 PM, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I really think  it is nice that Janelle mentioned something good about each one of her sister wives and their mothers.  

It is nice - but my mind immediately went to thinking that Janelle is still all Go Team Go just to keep this show on the air by pretending to admire her sister wives.  I find duplicity in pretty much everything they post.

Also, leave Savannah alone, Janelle.  It's bad enough that Maddie is feeding Plexus to her own kids.

Edited by laurakaye
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Plexus aside, Savannah has great hair.

Janelle has no clue how to make food look appetizing. At least throw some toasted sesame seeds, parsley, green onion, etc. on top of that salmon. Also, as other have said, why instapot--salmon takes minutes to cook anyway. She's so odd.

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Plexus Slim won't make you slim if you add it to second breakfasts like the one pictured.

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Janelle probably thinks that the chemicals in the pink drink negate any calories in the fat-laden foods she enjoys.  Kind of like magic.

Edited by laurakaye
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1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

Janelle probably thinks that the chemicals in the pink drink negate any calories in the fat-laden foods she enjoys.  Kind of like magic.

The pink drink looks suspiciously like Pepto-Bismol, maybe that's why both Janelle and Maddie are fullofshit.

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9 hours ago, Adiba said:

Plexus aside, Savannah has great hair.

Janelle has no clue how to make food look appetizing. At least throw some toasted sesame seeds, parsley, green onion, etc. on top of that salmon. Also, as other have said, why instapot--salmon takes minutes to cook anyway. She's so odd.

I belong to a couple of FB Instant Pot groups and some of the shit people try to cook in it just astounds me.

One was trying to figure out how she could cook an omelet using the Instant Pot.  As my eyes were rolling backwards wondering why anyone would even want to attempt cooking an omelet in a pressure cooker, someone replied with "Why would you even want to?  It takes 5 minutes to cook one on the stove.  The Instant Pot isn't meant for everything you cook."  

And, fair warning if you join one of said FB groups, some of that slop people post looks just as bad as what Janelle posts.  Sad, anemic looking food slopped all up the sides of the pot with usually the dirty stirring spoon inside the pot as well.  I kid you not, I scroll right past anything from those groups when I first get up in the morning because some of the pictures are just nauseating.  

Now that I think about it, Janelle should join those groups.  They'd probably bow down to the unappetizing salmon she posted.  🤢

Edited by Persnickety1
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12 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Also, leave Savannah alone, Janelle.  It's bad enough that Maddie is feeding Plexus to her own kids.

Maddie's been feeding her infant and toddler Plexus for at least a few months.  They must have been the human guinea pigs for Janelle and Savannah, because only after Axel and Evie have survived, does Janelle finally feels it's safe enough for her own daughter.  If that weren't bad enough, Janelle is pimping out Savannah normal teenage state to promote Plexus as a mood enhancement supplement.  Yet, it's always about the gut with Janelle.

Everything below is from the Plexus webpage:

Things like poor diet, medications, lack of exercise, and even stress directly impact the number of beneficial microbes found in our microbiome. This imbalance keeps us from enjoying life at its fullest. Reseeding our GI tract with VitalBiome helps increase balance and helps our body function optimally.*  VitalBiome is the best probiotic choice for adults (emphasis added) who wants to bring their gut back in balance, so they can feel healthier and happier.*

Key Benefits

  • Helps reduce feelings of stress and improve mood*
  • Combats bloating and relieves occasional bowel discomfort*
  • Stabilizes stress hormones and promotes relaxation*
  • Supports a healthy immune system*
  • Enhances gut microbiome health*

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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45 minutes ago, Grifter Lives said:

Everything below is from the Plexus webpage:

Things like poor diet, medications, lack of exercise, and even stress directly impact the number of beneficial microbes found in our microbiome. This imbalance keeps us from enjoying life at its fullest. Reseeding our GI tract with VitalBiome helps increase balance and helps our body function optimally.* 

Janelle would use Plexus' VitalBiome to reseed her GI tract in order to continue with her poor diet, medications, lack of exercise, and stressful life in her Barcalounger.

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23 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

After a week it would be spoiled or give food poisoning!

My son is a seafood manager. He figured out he had Covid when he stuck his head in a case with 3-day old salmon and couldn't smell anything. I can't imagine letting it sit any longer than like a day.

Also, Janelle - recipe ingredients lists aren't copyrightable, just the cooking instructions are. So, you actually could share the recipe on SM and just not write the instructions and then credit the cookbook author so they could get some publicity. Until they saw your post and sued you for defamation from your thoroughly unappetizing representation of their recipe. 

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15 hours ago, ginger90 said:


The picture is from a video:

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Oh gosh. She's doing that eyebrow thang!!

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Huh?  Is she asking if there are different varieties of celery like there are different varieties of lettuce?  And if those varieties taste different from each other?

Let me break it down for you, Janelle, in terms you can understand...you know how there are different types of Fritos?  They look similar, they're all called Fritos, but some taste like regular Fritos, some taste like chili cheese, and some are flaming hot?  Celery is like Fritos.  So is lettuce.

Hope that clears it up for you.

Also leave celery alone.  I love celery.  Pick on another vegetable.  Kthxbai.

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She didn’t taste the salt, so she didn’t know. 🤦‍♀️ Bread, cereal, processed food, Plexus......
Google foods that contain salt, Janelle.

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She should entitle her blog Mundane Musings By Janelle.  She must lie awake nights trying to think of hot topics to write about.  Next, she will be informing her followers that celery leaves can be utilized in various soup and stew recipes.  She found this info in a cookbook, so to protect copyrights, you will have to google for yourself.

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On 5/10/2021 at 4:18 PM, ginger90 said:

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First, good for her for making salmon. it doesn’t look appealing, but probably tastes better than it looks  

Now, I don’t understand this woman and the desire or need to “eat out” all the time. I mean, fuuuuuck. It’s not that hard to throw some bananas and apples in one’s bag if time is short. I also don’t understand the need for a cooked lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

i get it. I workout every day and go to work and some days, time is short. I keep cherries, walnuts and apples at work for times like this.  Also, hunger is not an emergency for most people (excluding medical problems). Have a handful of nuts, a glass of water and feel good for not hitting the drive thru. That’s how you drop weight—by not using your fork. 

 

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4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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She should google fingernail heath. Aside from looking dirty, they don't look very healthy.

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5 hours ago, Sandy W said:

She should entitle her blog Mundane Musings By Janelle.  She must lie awake nights trying to think of hot topics to write about.  Next, she will be informing her followers that celery leaves can be utilized in various soup and stew recipes.  She found this info in a cookbook, so to protect copyrights, you will have to google for yourself.

I like "Mundane Musings."  I also think "Duhhhhhhhhhhhh" by Janelle would work.

"I have always heard that carrots could be crunchy, but I didn't believe it!  I never knew that they came in any form other than mushy and canned and full of added sodium!  Were you aware?  So the other day I sliced some carrots into stick form and used them to transport ranch dressing into my mouth!  The crunch is quite satisfying!  I don't have a recipe for this, but I'm sure if you Google it you'll find something.  I wonder if I could do this with other vegetables?  I will let you know what I find out!"

(insert photo of horribly chopped carrots on a chipped plate, mostly hidden under a thick layer of Hidden Valley Ranch, resting on Janelle's lap with her bare feet showing)

Edited by laurakaye
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I want to like Janelle (or at least one Brown parent) but it’s so hard sometimes. Gas station eggs, salty celery, Plexus...but then I think of Robochin or Ramen noodle curls and should realize all these people are a mess and I need to give up.

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Trying to imagine gas station eggs washed down with a big glass of Plexus.....

Gee, why do we think Janelle has such horrible digestion issues?

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