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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

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I picture Janelle wandering around her kitchen holding a box full of mysterious vegetables, wondering what to do with them...do they go in that big rectangle-shaped cold thing?  Do they go in the smaller rectangle-shaped really cold thing?  What about that big square thing that gets really hot when I push a button?  Or maybe that other thing that I can turn on and things come out hot but it doesn't take as long?

I mean has this woman ever eaten anything that didn't get handed to her from a window?  I am amazed that none of her kids have weight issues.

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2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Is that Gabe and Savannah in the pictures?

It’s Savanah and Garrison.

Edited by ginger90
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Since I usually read these threads when I should be sleeping and thus am tired, I always read her Strive posts as the satirical ones our lovelies here post. Then I have to reread and chuckle. Her manner of writing is...odd. To say the least. 

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59 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I wonder how her 14 day accountability group went?

Right?  There was nothing but crickets afterwards!

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1 hour ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I'd guess it had about as many participants as Meri's B&B competition.

Probably the same two.

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8 hours ago, Kohola3 said:
10 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I'd guess it had about as many participants as Meri's B&B competition.

Probably the same two.

Meri's competition had two people?  Wow... that was an amazing SUCCESS!

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On 10/1/2020 at 3:36 PM, ginger90 said:

2 pictures:

 

 

There are a tons of things to do in and around Flagstaff. I wonder if she's been to Walnut Canyon (one of my favorite places). I really miss Flagstaff. Janelle is lucky to be living there. SO much to do outside and most of it is very close by. 

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Oh for Pete's sake. Isn't this like the 4,678,522nd time she's had to psych herself up to deal with some minor fact of life and exercise? With crappy photos to boot?

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

As always, I want to know what business she’s so busy doing. 

Shuffling the family finances to look good to lending institutions.  

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1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

Is posting on Social Media considered doing business? Maybe PR? 

In Janelle's case, we know that PR does not stand for Positive Reinforcement.

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7 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

That's the most unflattering photo of Janelle I've seen in awhile. 

It tells more more than I need to know about her laundry regimen.  If I take my socks off, they go in the hamper, not stuffed back into workout shoes.

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On 10/8/2020 at 3:23 PM, ginger90 said:

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Jesus this woman HATES exercise. She is so not inspiring. Why would anyone actually PAY for her "services"? That would be like having a piano teacher who not only struggled to play Chopsticks but also hated playing Chopsticks. 

Now, I'm the opposite--I look forward to my lunch hour when I can use the stair climber in the gym they have at my workplace. It's invigorating and clears my head. 

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Someone asked how many of these she does a year. In typical Janelle fashion, her response:

 

This is a fairly new thing for Tricia and I.  We looked around last spring and realized we could create what we were looking for - an accountability group.  This will be our third this year and we anticipate another at the first of January.  So long answer short - not sure , but there will be another one in January 

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The same promotional photo with the dehydrated vegetables.  If they aren't aware enough to see how bad that looks, how accountable are Janelle and Trish?

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9 hours ago, Sandy W said:

The same promotional photo with the dehydrated vegetables.  If they aren't aware enough to see how bad that looks, how accountable are Janelle and Trish?

They must have grown up only seeing vegetables out of a can, grey & limp.  To them these look more colourful & firm.  

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Again, the photo and the text show different timeframes.  The link says the program starts on November 2.  The photo shows a November 4th start.  At least they both run for a 16-day period (unless Janelle gets distracted by some new rockstar superfood or fast food driive-through).  Maybe Janelle is reworking her always hectic schedule around her super-busy Election Day.  Voting must take her out of her comfort zone, because it gives her a voice.  Or, maybe she's just so lazy, inconsiderate, unprofessional and uneducated that she doesn't bother to proofread.

Another example of Janelle's poor business acumen is the forecasted timeframe for the next accountability group.  Her sycophants probably need the group most during the holidays.  But, Janelle, valedictorian of the Kody Brown School of Business Savvy, plans the start on January 1.  I guess she's planning to capitalize on New Year's resolutions, after her followers make them and plan their own strategies.  

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2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Again with the stupid "routine!"  If she wakes up on the left side of the bed instead of the right, it throws off her routine.  If her favorite chipped coffee cup is still sitting in the sink coated in congealed ghee, it throws off her routine.  If she runs out of Fritos.....routine, etc.  She must really go into a tizzy on the fourth Thursday of every month when Kody drops in for a drive-through dinner and a quick bout of pretend parenting before Robyn wakes up and realizes he's escaped his chain again.

I love your posts, lol.

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20 hours ago, laurakaye said:

Again with the stupid "routine!"  If she wakes up on the left side of the bed instead of the right, it throws off her routine.  If her favorite chipped coffee cup is still sitting in the sink coated in congealed ghee, it throws off her routine.  If she runs out of Fritos.....routine, etc.  She must really go into a tizzy on the fourth Thursday of every month when Kody drops in for a drive-through dinner and a quick bout of pretend parenting before Robyn wakes up and realizes he's escaped his chain again.

😆🤣😂

That? Was hilarious!

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What, no caption??  Okay, let's play!  I see barley, celery, possibly potato slices, chunks of unidentifiable meat, pearl onions cut in half, and maybe some lima beans stirred up with a large can of cream of mushroom soup.  So some kind of stew, perhaps?  Or am I literally looking at the contents of a can of dog food?  I don't know!

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10 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

What, no caption??  Okay, let's play!  I see barley, celery, possibly potato slices, chunks of unidentifiable meat, pearl onions cut in half, and maybe some lima beans stirred up with a large can of cream of mushroom soup.  So some kind of stew, perhaps?  Or am I literally looking at the contents of a can of dog food?  I don't know!

Ugh, it looks like something my dog threw up 🤮. Maybe the idea of following Janelle’s pics Is that one gets so nauseated that they don’t want to eat, therefore they lose weight?

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14 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

What, no caption??  Okay, let's play!  I see barley, celery, possibly potato slices, chunks of unidentifiable meat, pearl onions cut in half, and maybe some lima beans stirred up with a large can of cream of mushroom soup.  So some kind of stew, perhaps?  Or am I literally looking at the contents of a can of dog food?  I don't know!

She had a caption - I only copied the photo for my reply.  It's "Buckwheat Mushroom Risotto" with some other garbage tossed in.

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21 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

"Not really wheat...it's a seed." "Barley (a grain)"

🤔

Technically she's right.  As most people know, all grains are seeds but not all seeds are grains.  In this case buckwheat is sometimes called a "pseudo grain", it's also sometimes referred to as a "super seed".  There are only a few seeds that are also so considered "pseudo grains"; I can't remember them all but I'm pretty sure quinoa and wild rice are two of them.  Digging back here but I think to truly be a grain the plant has to be part of the grass family, so wheat and barley are grains.  Buckwheat is in the same family as rhubarb (although I can't remember what plant family that is), so seed.

Edited by sharkerbaby
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5 hours ago, laurakaye said:

What, no caption??  Okay, let's play!  I see barley, celery, possibly potato slices, chunks of unidentifiable meat, pearl onions cut in half, and maybe some lima beans stirred up with a large can of cream of mushroom soup.  So some kind of stew, perhaps?  Or am I literally looking at the contents of a can of dog food?  I don't know!

I think the meat you are seeing is the mushrooms.  While I give her an E for effort to eat better, buckwheat still has to many carbs for someone who is trying to lose weight.  

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I think this is maybe the worst looking dish she has posted. It really does look like something my late cat would have hacked up on the floor. I feel bad for whichever of her kids have to eat this swill.

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Both buckwheat and risotto are carbs used to fatten livestock. It looks like pigslop made from recycled food from restaurants.

Edited by deirdra
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8 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I think the meat you are seeing is the mushrooms.  While I give her an E for effort to eat better, buckwheat still has to many carbs for someone who is trying to lose weight.  

Well I am not all convinced that Janelle IS trying to lose weight.   😞.    

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Janelle did not disappoint either.  As expected, she offers a photo of kids chowing down on pizza, rather than the spectacle the planets were offering.

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18 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Janelle did not disappoint either.  As expected, she offers a photo of kids chowing down on pizza, rather than the spectacle the planets were offering.

I bet Garrison (or should we refer to him as Robert since he seems to prefer that name?) got some great photos though. 

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