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Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears

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No way did she run 3 miles in what appears to be Broadway Stage-level make-up that never smudged or dripped.

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I think Meri is a perfectionist and insists that the inn be thoroughly clean but I hope she also relies on a black light for stuff that is less visible.

You see quite a cross-section when you work with the public. I was a housecleaning service for about 6 years and most of my clients were quite well-off, relatively speaking.

The folks in one particular household had a huge wall map of the world on display in the entrance hall, with numerous colored pins representing their travels to every continent. They owned a chain of retail stores, they owned a jet, etc, etc.

Their home was a lakeview manor with all the expected amenities, the lake side of the house was all glass and no one could peep in because the ground dropped away outside the windows. 

One day I found out that at least one of their cats was not totally litter box trained, no it was not. It was also kitchen trained. I cannot begin to tell you how much time I'd spent getting rid of the repulsive smelly ook that rimmed the opening to their garbage disposal.

A good year into our time together, imagine my dismay when one of the cats hopped into the sink on the disposal side, raised its tail, pinched a loaf into the disposal and sauntered off. And my client was standing there and did not react in any way. 

I nearly dropped to my knees because that's what I had been battling!

The sink always smelled horrible before I sanitized but it usually was full of well-past-their-prime parings and food scraps so I thought that's what I smelled, what felt ooky. 

I was SO glad that I always used gloves for wet work and insisted that my crew had to use them as well. 

I wrote the client's name inside the cuff of the gloves we were using that day and on the way home I bought new gloves to use everywhere else. Barf. 

Edited by suomi
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13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

It’s been said before, but she looks like the guy from the OJ Simpson trial. Kato Kaelin (sp?). (I can’t be bothered to look up the spelling.) Anywho, Meri could be his sister. I think it’s the way she is wearing her hair. Somehow I don’t think that’s the look she was going for, what with all her good lighting, perfect angles, selective cropping and obvious filters. 

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10 hours ago, deirdra said:

I don't understand the placement and lack of blending of that dung-coloured eye "shadow".

"Dung" colored.  lol    That was my chuckle of the morning.

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18 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

“Therealmeribrown”? When every image is filtered and digitally airbrushed so as to make her unrecognizable? 

Meri, we get it. Aging can be hard. But you can’t filter and fake your way through life when your pictures don’t look anything like you.

Work out more, Mer.  Stop eating so many cinnamon rolls and lose some weight (so you can stop using that skinny filter). Start a skincare routine that didn’t involve orange bronzer. Lay off the eyeliner. It’ll help. 

Edited for social distancing rules (changed “go to gym” to “work out more”). 

Edited by TurtlePower
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Those of you who didn't manage to potty train your cats, don't despair. Turns out most modern septic and sewer systems are not equipped to handle cat pee and poo anyway, and too much of it can harm the ecosystem and water treatment. I had hope to train my cats, but after learning this I decided it was worth it. That and I have a compulsion to keep the lid closed at all times. Even if the cat had their own bathroom I'd probably close it without thinking sometimes.

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10 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

No way did she run 3 miles in what appears to be Broadway Stage-level make-up that never smudged or dripped.

And what's the point of even applying 14 layers of eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow to go for a morning "run?"  This is what irriatates me the most - she didn't go for a run - she put on makeup, did her hair, caked on some foundation, and went outside for a selfie using the pretense that she just happened to be outside for a run and decided to stop to take a pic.  Nope, nope, nope.

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11 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

No way did she run 3 miles in what appears to be Broadway Stage-level make-up that never smudged or dripped.

My thoughts exactly.  Ugh.  

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12 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

And what's the point of even applying 14 layers of eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow to go for a morning "run?"  This is what irriatates me the most - she didn't go for a run - she put on makeup, did her hair, caked on some foundation, and went outside for a selfie using the pretense that she just happened to be outside for a run and decided to stop to take a pic.  Nope, nope, nope.

The sun is up in the photo.  If she had really run three miles, not only would her makeup be run in rivulets over her face, her hair would be plastered to her head.  Let's not even think about the concept of LLRags polyester clinging to every contour of her abundant frame.

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2 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

My thoughts exactly.  Ugh.  

And the comments.  12674577 of them about how she is glowing.  Um, it’s the filters, people.  

Edited by Meowwww
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Why would anyone follow that miserable mess and make ass-kissing comments?  Or buy her ugly, overpriced, putrid LLN crap?

Her army of sycophantic skanks are as tasteless as she is.  Yuck.

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Why would anyone follow that miserable mess and make ass-kissing comments?  Or buy her ugly, overpriced, putrid LLN crap?

Her army of sycophantic skanks are as tasteless as she is.  Yuck.

On the one hand they are exhorting her to "Run Meri Run" and on the other adulating her for being the "Strong Woman" she claims to be. 

Edited by Sandy W
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14 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

No way did she run 3 miles in what appears to be Broadway Stage-level make-up that never smudged or dripped.

Right? Meri doesn’t strike me as a runner. At. All. I get that runners come in many shapes and sizes, but I cannot picture  her lumbering along for 3 miles (and then worrying about editing her face for the obligatory follow-up photo op). 

Wont do her much good unless she changes her dietary habits. 3 miles = 300 calories. She could eat that run back with one cinnamon bun. 

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6 minutes ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

run running GIF

 

Meri running - more likely away from her disgusting spawn

Maybe she just spotted a helicopter landing in an open area of the park.  Still hoping........

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I started closing the toilet seat and made it a habit 24 yrs ago after my sweet rescue kitten MoonUnit jumped up hoping to sit and watch me apply my eyeliner😉 and ended up in the bowl.  I've gladly stuck to it since reading an article saying that toilet water sprays 6-8' when you flush, which is within range of my toothbrush, shower & toiletries. 

Edited by deirdra
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4 hours ago, Meowwww said:

And the comments.  12674577 of them about how she is glowing.  Um, it’s the filters, people.  

Wonder if these the same people that slobber all over Pudge's posts and tell her how wise and beautiful she is.......

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5 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

run running GIF

 

Meri running - more likely away from her disgusting spawn

That actually looks like Gwen. And as obnoxious as she is, I could see her running like that for attention and laughs. <eye roll>

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17 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

run running GIF

 

Meri running - more likely away from her disgusting spawn

There’s no way Meri can move that fast. 

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I wonder if Kody and Robyn get on this page and just laugh and laugh.

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37 minutes ago, zenme said:

I wonder if Kody and Robyn get on this page and just laugh and laugh.

I doubt it.  I think they would roll their eyes and get pissed.

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9 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Did she actually read that before she posted it? 

 

Probably not.  I imagine she did a google search on "wilderness" and grabbed the first thing that popped up.

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1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Probably not.  I imagine she did a google search on "wilderness" and grabbed the first thing that popped up.

I immediately thought of an episode of that classic series Beavis and Butt-Head where Beavis is attempting to read a package of glue or something and he says "words...words..."

Found it! 

 

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16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

0EB64ACA-6FA2-45DA-9994-442CD207BE6E.jpeg

Riiiight. LuLaRoe Meri in the vasty wilderness. Yeah, she’s really equipped. 

Dispatch: ”911 where is your emergency?” 

Meri: ”I don’t know I’m lost, overheated from my polyester clothes and have blisters from wearing flimsy fake boots. Call a helicopter!” 

Meanwhile, GPS coordinates put her a mile off the road.....

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33 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Riiiight. LuLaRoe Meri in the vasty wilderness. Yeah, she’s really equipped. 

Dispatch: ”911 where is your emergency?” 

Meri: ”I don’t know I’m lost, overheated from my polyester clothes and have blisters from wearing flimsy fake boots. Call a helicopter!” 

Meanwhile, GPS coordinates put her a mile off the road.....

#becauseIcan't

#I'mstillaStrongWomanright?

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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

 

No pictures of Meri, Mariah and Audrey at the summit of the trail?

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5 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Riiiight. LuLaRoe Meri in the vasty wilderness. Yeah, she’s really equipped. 

Dispatch: ”911 where is your emergency?” 

Meri: ”I don’t know I’m lost, overheated from my polyester clothes and have blisters from wearing flimsy fake boots. Call a helicopter!” 

Meanwhile, GPS coordinates put her a mile off the road.....

In a full face of stage makeup.  

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

9B1DCB72-BF69-4152-B3D8-63CC8C16148E.jpeg

Meri is channeling Mariah. Does Meri know what this means? I'm struggling with it. 

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Law of vibration, you get what you’re sending out.

Or, in Meri’s case, if you don’t agree with me, get out of my space.

That’s my 2 cents.

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Has Meri been, um, self-stimulating?  A whole lot of references to vibration in that message.

I will show myself out.

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8 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Has Meri been, um, self-stimulating?  A whole lot of references to vibration in that message.

I will show myself out.

I mean... at the risk of being too crass, she’s stuck in a loveless ‘marriage’ and has been off the Kody rotation for years whilst always proclaiming her eternal happiness and independent fulfilment... I’m sure she has quite the bedside drawer collection 😆
I’ll just escort myself out now too.

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5 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

I’ll just escort myself out now too.

Let's meet virtually for cocktails.  Great minds and all.

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16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

9B1DCB72-BF69-4152-B3D8-63CC8C16148E.jpeg

WOW. This is probably the most honest-yet-conceited thing she’s posted. You better come to HER, because this bitch isn’t even gonna try. How incredibly off-putting.

Just when you think she can’t become any more unlikable. 

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42 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

WOW. This is probably the most honest-yet-conceited thing she’s posted. You better come to HER, because this bitch isn’t even gonna try. How incredibly off-putting.

Just when you think she can’t become any more unlikable. 

Her Superiority Complex comes through loud and clear.

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I'm still trying to figure out the Law of Vibration. People make up the most amazing things. Just go with the Golden Rule Meri, might work better.

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Just flicking through the channels and came across a SW repeat and the description said "Meri is emotional when she breaks the news of the "marriage license shift" to Robin" and cracked up. Yeah sure that's all it was. Really. 

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On 5/21/2020 at 4:39 AM, CocoPuffs said:

It’s been said before, but she looks like the guy from the OJ Simpson trial. Kato Kaelin (sp?). (I can’t be bothered to look up the spelling.) Anywho, Meri could be his sister. I think it’s the way she is wearing her hair. Somehow I don’t think that’s the look she was going for, what with all her good lighting, perfect angles, selective cropping and obvious filters. 

Drat, now I will never be able to unsee Kato when I see Meri.  Thanks a lot.  😜

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Kato is prettier than Meri and has better skin and hair, and is smarter.

Edited by suomi · Reason: ETA "and hair"
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Meri got Kato's fried brassy hair, Kootie got Kato's wild eyes, and Robyn got his jaw line. But Kato spent his days sunning & lounging in and around OJ's pool.  What is Meri's excuse? And who would accept her as a permanent house guest?

Edited by deirdra
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11 hours ago, deirdra said:

Meri got Kato's fried brassy hair, Kootie got Kato's wild eyes, and Robyn got his jaw line. But Kato spent his days sunning & lounging in and around OJ's pool.  What is Meri's excuse? And who would accept her as a permanent house guest?

Jackie Overton.

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Rewatching the Hawaii ep where they draw the eyebrows on to prank angry Mariah. 
Um, life now imitating art?   😜. Meri’s eyebrows look like this for real now.  

71467788-1C69-4330-8E2A-20A552C188D3.jpeg

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

We don't have any whole chickens with feathers, but we've got packages of breasts and thighs in our freezer.  Plus eggs in the fridge.  Does that count?

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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

Is that 4 hens and a rooster leading the way to their eventual home?

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