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Rhondinella

Kody Brown: Part-Time Father, Full-Time Asshat

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I recently re-watched the first-ever episode.  He was so much more likable then; cute, even...  Looked exactly like brother Curtis, only with hair.  Reality TV sure has a way of chewing people up and spitting them out.  Even now, he's tons more attractive than Bray-dee. 

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at least he appears relatively harmless.

 Those children growing up in that mess are not coming out unharmed, in my opinion, The situations those kids have been thrown into over and over on the altar of their parents' delusions have caused real and lasting damage to them, that they will have to spend much of their adulthood undoing. There's nothing harmless about polygamy. 

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Maybe we should put a note in (if I can figure out how) to change the title from Cody to Kody? Because one of the biggest doufuses on reality TV these days, and would, of course, go against the norm of "Cody" just to stand out.

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Those children growing up in that mess are not coming out unharmed, in my opinion, The situations those kids have been thrown into over and over on the altar of their parents' delusions have caused real and lasting damage to them, that they will have to spend much of their adulthood undoing. There's nothing harmless about polygamy.

 

I'm really not too worried about the Brown children. From what we've seen of them, they all seem to have fairly solid heads on their shoulders. Mariah is the only one of the older ones who I've really seen have any significant character deficiencies. The other kids seem kind, grounded, ambitious in various ways. One thing about the Browns that I appreciate is they seem fairly lax about their children choosing polygamy. Sure, they might be disappointed if they don't, but the majority of the kids have said they do NOT want plural marriage and I think it bodes well that they feel comfortable stating that. I think their parents will love them no matter what life they choose. 

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Kody's true buttmunch colors have been coming out this year.  I would've kicked him in the nuts a LOOOOOONG time ago and said HASTA LA VISTA.  

 

However, I realize that he wouldn't even give me the time of day, because I actually have self-esteem and am not passive aggressive like his four winners.

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I just vividly remember one scene where the wives were all in Robyn's kitchen (back in Utah) and they were all joking and laughing. Then Kody walks in and they turn silent and distant towards each other. Someone voiced over how Kody changes the dynamic of the room when all of the wives are together. It just made me realize that he is probably the "fun and goofy" guy when all the attention is on him, but the minute things don't go his way he is an ass.

I also remember that the wives gave him a Mac Book Pro for his birthday (which is a really really nice present IMHO) and he bitched and moaned because that was a present for work (ha!) and he wanted a present for fun. He is an ass.

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Kudos to the poster who came up with "part-time father, full-time asshat" to describe Kody.

 

It's really such an apt characterization. 

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Oh, no. Just no. He looks like My Little Pony on crack.

I wouldn't follow that guy to the corner, let alone to a planet he rules.

Edited by Oldernowiser
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For reasons passing all rational understanding I think the wives actually like his long hair.  Which is pretty much all I need to know about them.

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I've made too many hair related posts lately but here's one more: the short under layer is to keep the hair from sticking to his face or neck. It's exaggerated by how he grooms his sideburns.

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Have you ever seen anybody so "family oriented" do less parenting?

 

Kody seems to be much more interested in making children than caring for them.

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Have you ever seen anybody so "family oriented" do less parenting?

 

Kody seems to be much more interested in making children than caring for them.

Well, Michelle Duggar is right up there...she's more interested in birthing them than caring for them, so actually, it might be pretty much the same thing.

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If you cover up the pony in that photo it looks like buzzed would improve him 1000%. His head seems to have a decent shape. My guess is that his layering requires a high pony because the layers wouldn't be held by a low pony. I think a buzz is his only option with those serious hairline recessions above his forehead. Wondering if the underlay is also because the hair there is super curly/frizzy (it looks that way at the neckline). Having said all that: Dude, cut your hair!

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Can you imagine what a giant PITA he must be during filming? "We should do this! No, wait, what about that? Or we could...wait!! Christine looks pretty today! Need more Christine...no, wait!!! What's that shiny object? What about over there instead?"

Or he disappears completely. "Where's Kody? It's time for his scene...Kody? Kody? KODY???? Can somebody put a freaking bell on him or something? (TM Dr. Evil)

That film crew is sooooooo underpaid.

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At least Kody seems to know all his kids' names.

 

The question is, does he need an app to remember their birthdays?

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IIRC he's mostly been in "sells." Flitting from place to place and working the phone being what he does best. Or, does.

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Yes, just what in the hell does Kody do for a living (other than TLC), to support his FAMILIES? I'm sorry but when you have that many mouths you're responsible for, you should be doing what you can to bring in income and health benefits--other than being filmed.  This show was intended to have the world see what a polygamist family can look like.  Well, I would think that this type of family would have at least the patriarch of the family bringing home the bacon, so I don't think this is a very accurate portrayal of this type of family situation.  At the very least, with all of these children, you would think that since he's got all of these college aged kids he'd be working to try to help out where he can in providing something for these kids--even it's just helping with books.  No.  He's just content to be filmed for a living. It seems as though he has no work ethic, and that's a big ass shame when you have four families.

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Come on now! KoDoucheNozzle takes the family on useless road trips, throws parties in the backyard and rassles with his man-crush in the garage (just a real big closet, really). Can't let a job get in the way of that, now, can we?

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A grown man should not have Pebbles Flintstone hair.  

It gets his harem all hot, ya know.

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It gets his harem all hot, ya know.

I threw up in my mouth a little. I personally DO like the ponytail look on men. However, it has to be the right kind of ponytail. That Pebbles Flintstone look is not it. A low, long ponytail on a man (preferably dark haired streaked with gray) I like.

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Kody's ponytail reminds me of the oldest son on the sitcom Home Improvement.   For a season or two, "Brad" had a ponytail just like that.....longer hair pulled back with a rubber band, with shorter hair at the bottom cut into a traditional style. I thought it looked dumb then and I think it looks dumb now.  Makes me want to say, "Hey Kody, the 90's called, they want their ponytail back."  

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I wonder what happened to his motorbike. I remember he had to go and get some spare tyres and the only wheels he had at the time was his motorbike. Never ever saw that bike again. Funny about that.

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What I remember about the motorcycle - when them were 'escaping' from the evil state of Utah, one of the children was told they couldn't bring one of their toys (because they were trying to cram everything into the moving van).

 

They made sure to have a towing trailer for the ass-king's mother****ing motorcycle however. 

 

May the fires of hell burn every scraggly lock of hair from this fools head.

 

 

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I'm just wondering what they can possibly have for storylines next season.  Moving again, Robyn pregnant again...what's left to tell?  I'm afraid it'll have to be more road trips to visit other polygamous families.  Perhaps they can go camping with the Brady Williams bunch and talk about babies, bankruptcy, and their impending godhood.  Oh, and don't forget to mention how liberated all your wives are.

Edited by technorebel
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I think that if ratings get too low and there is a threat of the show being cancelled, Kody will take a fifth wife. I think they will do anything to keep the show going. They need the money.

Sadly, I suspect many of us can totally see this happening; because this big ship of fools can't think past the quick buck for today. The larger implications will completely escape them until it's too late.

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And I really think the Ship of Fools has sprung a gigantic leak.  These idiots seem to think we find them endlessly entertaining when in reality they have done nothing of interest in at least a season.  I can't think of anything that would increase the sagging ratings other than possibly a 5th wife and the subsequent murder of King Kody by one or all of the baby mamas. 

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They COULD actually talk about what really IS happening in their family, like which wife is jealous of which other wife, which one is the favorite and the resentments because of that, how they manage their rotation (for example when it is one wife's "turn" can another wife still have contact with him).  The real lifestyle details could be interesting but that is the kind of stuff they won't talk about of course!  We don't need to see any more celebrations or meetings about My Sisters Wives Closet.

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I agree that this kind of thing would be more interesting. The Williams do discuss these issues. If the Browns start feeling threatened by the Williams' show, I think they will start spilling everything. In my opinion, they will do whatever is necessary to save the show.

 

I don't really want to know about their sex lives, but I'd like to know if they make up a schedule or how they handle it if one wife needs more time with Kody or if one is sick and doesn't want her "turn".  I also wonder how much viagra Kody has to take because, at his age, I'd think it unlikely for him to be able to perform night after night without some pharmaceutical help.  I'd also like to know more of the nuts and bolts of how they distribute the finances.  If they'd go into more detail about the running of their lives, the show might become interesting again.  Instead, what we get is more My Sister Wives Closet stuff, and that business is never going to succeed, not in a million years as measured in Kolob time.

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I think if a wife doesn't feel up to taking her "turn", she would probably want Kody to still stay at her house, for her kids.

 

Regarding Viagra - I wouldn't be surprised if Kody used it, but he seems to only be sexually active with one or two of his wives.

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Regarding Viagra - I wouldn't be surprised if Kody used it, but he seems to only be sexually active with one or two of his wives.

 

Of course he uses it.  Bill on "Big Love" used it, and Grody does everything Bill did.

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