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S02.E18: A Walsh Family Christmas


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As soon as I saw this post I yelped "It's the Donna's butt-cheeks episode!" -- I know she wore short shorts at other times, but this is the episode I remember watching as a teenager and being completely stunned at her outfit -- in a "wait, but her Dad RUNS this show" sort of way.

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Honestly David's joke was the most memorable thing about this episode. Also of course Donna's birthday has to be at Christmas just like later on with her bf Joe's birthday is on Thanksgiving. Also I remember in this episode is like Brian does this weird lip thing when he kisses Tori.

 

So Brenda has a job for like 2 episodes for like ever. 

 

So what I got from Santa's story is that Elves do it a lot. 

 

At least the Christmas episodes get better from this thing....oh wait there's the angels one. 

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At least the Christmas episodes get better from this thing....oh wait there's the angels one. 

 

I do like the one where Valerie and Kelly get each other in the gift exchange and they end up getting each other the same thing and declare another of their temporary truces.

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I do like the one where Valerie and Kelly get each other in the gift exchange and they end up getting each other the same thing and declare another of their temporary truces.

 

That was a decent one. 

 

I liked the one with David trying to meet Clare's dad, the one where Donna gets annoyed that a private club hired a stripper and the one where David broke it off with Donna simply because of Donna saying "We'll be here, waiting" and David was like "Great...."

 

To think the next one was with the crappy angel story. Oh god.

 

I'm curious where Santa would get WWI dog tags. 

Edited by SoupThrower
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Arggggggg! Brandon leave Andrea the fuck alone you jackass! Also shut up. Brandon is constantly written as that person who knows a friend has a crush that isn't reciprocated, but flirts a little whenever he needs an ego boost and then acts all mystified that the other person doesn't get that they're "just good friends"! Such an asshole move that I hate! But completely keeping in Brandon's character, so good job writers.

Also, Cindy shut up. Different places have different weather. I didn't see snow fall until I was 22. Move on already. I feel like the tried to make the Walshs "Midwestern" for way too long.

Is Donna wearing the Color Me Bad short shorts or does she have a whole collection of those things?

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Most of the characters Patricia Belcher plays Ain't Got Time For This, and I fucking love her for it.

OMG, I love her so much! And I have secretly decided I also love Ian Z because he steers into the curve. 

 

Am I alone in thinking that that ugly sweater pic and the dippy kiss illustrate how right Brandon and Andrea are for each other? And I know it's a little dated, but Kelly is giving excellent hair in an otherwise sartorially terrible episode. I'm looking at you, Cindy's pleated Bermudas. 

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90210 and Melrose Place have the longest seasons in modern TV, I think. 32 episodes in one season is unheard of now. 90210 pulled it off with the summer episodes, while MP filmed multiple episodes at once. It makes binge-watching them take forever.

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Oh, Donna's buttcheeks. We used to joke on the old TWOP board that her buttcheeks should've have their own spot in the opening credits. Dun nuh nuh nuh, dun nuh nuh nuh (flap flap!) (That's the sound of her cheeks flapping as they turn to the camera.)

Edited by desertflower
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"Steve made a buddy on the bus! And they neeeeeever saw her again."

This sounds like the lead in to a story about how Steve had a secret life as a serial killer. Which is a version of Beverly Hills 90210 that I would absolutely watch.

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I would call Jackie's sweater Lurex, not lame (knit vs. woven), but I think we can all agree it's fabulous.

I didn't realize how many of these second season episodes I had completely forgotten until you guys started going through them!

Edited by Emkay
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Here's what gets me about Donna's sartorial choices. I was totally the Donna of my high school group in that I had the strict parents who wouldn't let me do things...including wearing my ass checks to at tree trimming party! How were Dr Martin and Felice ok with her leaving the house like that?

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I enjoyed Tara's slip of the tongue (Hey yo!) about Brandon kissing Andrea on the gif. OK, that's not even a single entendre but it amused me.

Also, as someone living in the southern hemisphere, Cindy can just shut up with her 'It's not Christmas without snow' bullshit. We've had family come to visit at Christmas time and whinge about this. 'Oh, Christmas with your family who you hardly ever get to see, but it's not cold so it doesn't feel like Christmas? Fuck you.'

 

Also also, isn't New Mexico next door to California? How did it take Steve four days to get there.

Edited by helent
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I enjoyed Tara's slip of the tongue (Hey yo!) about Brandon kissing Andrea on the gif. OK, that's not even a single entendre but it amused me.

Also, as someone living in the southern hemisphere, Cindy can just shut up with her 'It's not Christmas without snow' bullshit. We've had family come to visit at Christmas time and whinge about this. 'Oh, Christmas with your family who you hardly ever get to see, but it's not cold so it doesn't feel like Christmas? Fuck you.'

 

Also also, isn't New Mexico next door to California? How did it take Steve four days to get there.

 

Maybe he caught the wrong bus and ended up in like Utah or something.

 

 

The angels one is one of the worst Christmas episodes in TV history, and that is saying something.

 

I don't know what's worse. The narration or Donna being the voice of reason or maybe the fact that graphics were so horrible. 

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Here's what gets me about Donna's sartorial choices. I was totally the Donna of my high school group in that I had the strict parents who wouldn't let me do things...including wearing my ass checks to at tree trimming party! How were Dr Martin and Felice ok with her leaving the house like that?

 

My favorite cognitive dissonance moment for Felice was when she's putting her fugly-ass cross on Donna for prom. To remind her of Jesus and chastity. While she's wearing a snug as a suntan "gown" with her big fake tits on FULL display. Oh, Donna.

 

I forgot how shitty this Christmas episode is, I am always a fan of Christmas episodes!

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Also also, isn't New Mexico next door to California? How did it take Steve four days to get there.

Do not even get me started on BH90210 geography. You know what's not close to LA? Mexico! It's like 3 hours (4 with traffic) to the border. Dylan isn't going to Baja before class for surfing.

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The angels one is one of the worst Christmas episodes in TV history, and that is saying something.

 

Uh no, it's awesome, if only because the people putting together the episode so did not give a crap.  As an example, the "angels" in their voiceover refer to Ohn-drea as Ann-drea.  That means that they cared so little that they didn't even bother to have the actors doing the voiceover re-record their part. 

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1) My mom wraps presents like on TV. I have no idea why but she always has... in theory you could easily reuse them but she doesn't do it for that reason and we generally don't reuse them so yeah... no clue but she does it anyway. 2) Am I remembering wrong or is there another episode where Brandon brings home a different homeless guy? I am totally possibly just not remembering things right. 

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I believe you are right, Lisin.  I don't remember the details but I definitely feel like it happens.  I feel like its something odd like its Santa but its during the second bunch of summer episodes?  I could be 100% wrong though. 

 

The best part of this episode is that the figure skater one is next.    I know its not a good episode, but I've always had a soft spot for it. 

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I believe you are right, Lisin.  I don't remember the details but I definitely feel like it happens.  I feel like its something odd like its Santa but its during the second bunch of summer episodes?  I could be 100% wrong though. 

 

The best part of this episode is that the figure skater one is next.    I know its not a good episode, but I've always had a soft spot for it. 

 

Thanksgiving was the homeless dude. I remember cause I just remember SPORTS!!! For once. Think that guy's name was Jack or something

 

Man that figure skating episode. At least Jason must have been happy he got the skate that episode. 

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I think Brandon's homeless guy was when he was working at the beach club, so it must have been summer.

 

I think Brandon meets his homeless guy in the summer.  I want to say he was a Gulf War vet, who Brandon tries to help, but disappears instead after Brandon gets him a job (i.e. he doesn't appear to take the job, and just vanishes).  I think he then reappears at Thanksgiving.  I kind of love it that Brenda and Brandon both just bring home random homeless people they meet, as though it's totally normal that your teenage children simply bring home street people to visit all the time.  I think if I did that, my parents would have had some kind of melt down. 

Edited by txhorns79
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I think Brandon meets his homeless guy in the summer.  I want to say he was a Gulf War vet, who Brandon tries to help, but disappears instead after Brandon gets him a job (i.e. he doesn't appear to take the job, and just vanishes).  I think he then reappears at Thanksgiving.  I kind of love it that Brenda and Brandon both just bring home random homeless people they meet, as though it's totally normal that your teenage children simply bring home street people to visit all the time.  I think if I did that, my parents would have had some kind of melt down. 

 

Yes! That sounds right! I just figured I had to be misremembering because how many "then the kid brings home a 'stray' human" stories could this show have? More than one apparently. Oh 90210. Never change. 

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Here's what gets me about Donna's sartorial choices. I was totally the Donna of my high school group in that I had the strict parents who wouldn't let me do things...including wearing my ass checks to at tree trimming party! How were Dr Martin and Felice ok with her leaving the house like that?

 

I think what you mean to ask is: Why is Tori Spellings ACTUAL father, producer Aaron, OK with not only letting his daughter dress like that on TV, but also including loving camera close-ups of it in the edit? The creepiness of that moment was evident to me even at 16 and has always stood out in my mind: "Merry Christmas, folks! Here's a close-up of my teenage daughter's asscheeks." Because, yes, Spelling wasn't yet 20 when this episode was shot. 

 

Bleccch!!!!

Edited by STOPSHOUTING
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Apparently, I am 12, because I laughed out loud (IRL) at the Tori Spelling "not pictured Santa's boner" pic.

What the ever-loving-fuck is with Andrea's wardrobe? I ask this now as a 40-year-old mom of three, and I asked it as a 16-year-old girl hating on Gabrielle Carteris, who DRESSED like a 40-year-old mom of three. Everyone knows she looked way too old for the part. It was talked about to death, at the time, starting pretty much from the pilot, so their solution was to dress her in ever mums-ier wardrobe? She's wearing a freaking sweatshirt with a floral heart on it for crap's sake! Why don't they just have her enter the scene carrying a self-standing knitting case with a tissue stuffed up her sleeve?

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Apparently, I am 12, because I laughed out loud (IRL) at the Tori Spelling "not pictured Santa's boner" pic.

What the ever-loving-fuck is with Andrea's wardrobe? I ask this now as a 40-year-old mom of three, and I asked it as a 16-year-old girl hating on Gabrielle Carteris, who DRESSED like a 40-year-old mom of three. Everyone knows she looked way too old for the part. It was talked about to death, at the time, starting pretty much from the pilot, so their solution was to dress her in ever mums-ier wardrobe? She's wearing a freaking sweatshirt with a floral heart on it for crap's sake! Why don't they just have her enter the scene carrying a self-standing knitting case with a tissue stuffed up her sleeve?

Oh I have much to say about this (as you all know!) I have sadly spent much of the last 20 years trying to figure out what the show was doing with GC. I can't figure out why they cast her in the first place. She always looked way too old for the part. Which, ok all the guys but BAG did too, but GC also carried herself old. I don't know how to explain it better. IZ could sort of act young and immature like a teenager who looked 30. GC always seemed older than she actually was, like a 50 year old who looked 35. It's so odd that they cast her in the first place and then the solution they come up with is to give her Grandma Rose's leftover wardrobe? What was the thought process here? I honestly wanted to go into all of this in the unauthorized story because I have never understood what they were trying to do with her.

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Also also, isn't New Mexico next door to California? How did it take Steve four days to get there.

 

You, apparently, have never had the privilege of traveling by bus. Timeline checks out.

 

There's a reason this classic Planes, Trains and Automobiles line rings true: "You ever traveled by bus before? Your mood's probably not gonna improve much."

Edited by STOPSHOUTING
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She's was secretly the babysitter of the group. Let's be honest or maybe she was undercover the whole time trying to solve some mystery or something and that's why she had to leave in S5.

 

O_O

 

Nah...

 

I think even actress who played Lucinda was younger. 

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Also also, isn't New Mexico next door to California? How did it take Steve four days to get there.

No. I'm embarrassed that no Americans managed to answer this yet! Arizona is between them. They are all large states. The western US is much more vast than many non-Americans realize. A bus trip could take that long because they make so many stops. Even in a car by yourself it would take more than a day.

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