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Maddie Brown: Seeking a One-Woman Man


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5 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

a demonic toddler that throws a fit and destroys everything in his path. 

This is what happens when you give into the first few tantrums.  They learn that they can get their way throwing fits.  She needs to pick him up and put him on a step, in a chair, a corner, or wherever she picks and make him stay there until he calms enough to rejoin the family and NEVER, EVER give him what he's throwing the fit over until much later.  

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3 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

I notice Maddie has Axel listed on IG as "Axel James II"

Who was Axel James the first?

" Axel James II" and his sister "Miss Evie K"

Two Axels on every car.  Stands to reason that they would each require their own Brush.

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Axel is young, has a new baby sister, with medical needs,  and since Maddie has referred to his teacher, goes to preschool or daycare. That’s a lot for a little one. Depending on how his parents handle all of that, will determine how Axel reacts. IMO, of course.

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I can't think of a single reasonable excuse for letting a neurotypical child get away with attacking the TV.  Yes, they are going through a stressful time as many people have been through, but that doesn't mean they should let him run wild without any boundaries.  

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38 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I can't think of a single reasonable excuse for letting a neurotypical child get away with attacking the TV.  Yes, they are going through a stressful time as many people have been through, but that doesn't mean they should let him run wild without any boundaries.  

Exactly and I understand he has a new sister and doesn't have everyone's undivided attention anymore but why is he channeling it into such anger and physical violence?

They need to set him straight and explain that they are a family and no one gets to run around screaming or smashing things.

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I think Axel has always had sad eyes. In almost every situation his eyes are sad. He looks like he has been crying, or like he wants to. At first I thought he had allergy eyes but the older he gets the just plain sadder he looks. That one photo where he was smiling with Christine was like wow, he looks like a totally different child. 

In my humble child raising opinion, all kids (and most adults) function better with limits and boundaries and I don't think he has any. It's not the least bit about being mean or being too firm, it's about "we do this and here's why and we don't do this and here's why." You start out in subtle and matter of fact ways before they can even talk. When they grab something they shouldn't have you take it and substitute with something they can have. "No, that is mine and this is yours, this is for you." They don't understand the words but they understand the pantomime. It takes time and and it might will feel like you are repeating yourself endlessly but the effort eventually pays off. 

I feel bad for the whole family, especially now with Evie's special needs. 

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I agree, Axel has always appeared to be sad. I don't know why or where that comes from, he seemed to be totally doted on at birth. No boundaries, whatever was OK then. He is definitely in a very different situation now with a new baby with extremely special needs. He has gone from the "one and only special guy" to big brother of a super special needs sweet baby girl. They never set any boundaries before and now to him I think he thinks they are because of Evie and he is angry, maybe even jealous. They really need to rein in this anger quickly or he is going to be in for a really unhappy life.

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5 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

I agree, Axel has always appeared to be sad. I don't know why or where that comes from, he seemed to be totally doted on at birth. No boundaries, whatever was OK then. He is definitely in a very different situation now with a new baby with extremely special needs. He has gone from the "one and only special guy" to big brother of a super special needs sweet baby girl. They never set any boundaries before and now to him I think he thinks they are because of Evie and he is angry, maybe even jealous. They really need to rein in this anger quickly or he is going to be in for a really unhappy life.

I have noticed on Instagram that whining and bitching about your kids/babies from the 20's mums seems to be a trend.  It horrifies me that people are putting this negativity out there, especially after months of every single step of the pregnancy and all the "joy and happiness" at the eminent arrival of their new little ones. Which is it?  Happy they are coming? Or bitching the absolute second the baby does something that isn't cute and photo worthy?

I can remember being a first time 24 year old mum.  I had zero experience with any kind of caring for little ones/babies.  My life had been spent with dogs and horses. I read a book on human child development with all the milestones and stages and that was really it. In the hospital a very kind and patient nurse showed me the very basics of changing diapers, bathing, umbilical wound care and that swaddle wrap with a blanket.  There. I knew it all 🙄

I did what I knew, animal training. Kindness and consistency, rewards for good behavior.  It worked for me.  If cranky and lashing out then exercise, change the routine. But routine is really important.  Her older one needs to know that his needs WILL be met.  When you have one baby as soon as they go down for a nap it is YOU time.  But...once you have a second, then when the baby goes down for a nap, its one and one time with the older child. Dad hangs out with the baby in one room and Mum does something one on one with the other and then swap.

Sadly Maddies upbringing meant that in her world there were always a gaggle of kids to keep active with.  In the real world Mums do a lot more than just manage the herd. Whining and bitching on social media does NOT help and really makes you look like an angry ungrateful person.

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42 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

I have noticed on Instagram that whining and bitching about your kids/babies from the 20's mums seems to be a trend.  It horrifies me that people are putting this negativity out there, especially after months of every single step of the pregnancy and all the "joy and happiness" at the eminent arrival of their new little ones. Which is it?  Happy they are coming? Or bitching the absolute second the baby does something that isn't cute and photo worthy?

I can remember being a first time 24 year old mum.  I had zero experience with any kind of caring for little ones/babies.  My life had been spent with dogs and horses. I read a book on human child development with all the milestones and stages and that was really it. In the hospital a very kind and patient nurse showed me the very basics of changing diapers, bathing, umbilical wound care and that swaddle wrap with a blanket.  There. I knew it all 🙄

I did what I knew, animal training. Kindness and consistency, rewards for good behavior.  It worked for me.  If cranky and lashing out then exercise, change the routine. But routine is really important.  Her older one needs to know that his needs WILL be met.  When you have one baby as soon as they go down for a nap it is YOU time.  But...once you have a second, then when the baby goes down for a nap, its one and one time with the older child. Dad hangs out with the baby in one room and Mum does something one on one with the other and then swap.

Sadly Maddies upbringing meant that in her world there were always a gaggle of kids to keep active with.  In the real world Mums do a lot more than just manage the herd. Whining and bitching on social media does NOT help and really makes you look like an angry ungrateful person.

Not to mention that none of this ever goes away. All of this bitching will be on the internet for the rest of her life. And her kids will read every word. Do people think through that kind of thing before they post? How is Axel going to feel when he reads all of that?

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2 hours ago, Roslyn said:

Sadly Maddies upbringing meant that in her world there were always a gaggle of kids to keep active with.  In the real world Mums do a lot more than just manage the herd. Whining and bitching on social media does NOT help and really makes you look like an angry ungrateful person.

When Maddie was a kid, Christine (the only one we've seen make Axel smile) was in charge of the herd.  

Edited by deirdra
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1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Not to mention that none of this ever goes away. All of this bitching will be on the internet for the rest of her life. And her kids will read every word. Do people think through that kind of thing before they post? How is Axel going to feel when he reads all of that?

Exactly!!  I have seen some pages where the mums are those lifestyle bloggers with perfect pictures and all the perfect set up scenes with their children.  I don't see "perfection" in these photos...I see kids being used for the "family business" online.  Kids who are photo props (SO similar to the Browns tv show with "look how normal we are" as their mantra message).  It is hard enough to get through the teen years of self doubt/hatred and comparing yourself to others, let alone the new compare yourself to very fake worlds in youtube and Instagram. Then you have the added layer of wondering if you are cherished by family or simply a photo prop.  Add all of that to the children being able to go back to their early years to read in black and white these words written in real time about the anger their mother had for them.  HOW do you not internalize that?

While this is the Maddie thread...it does pop into my head when Meri was describing Mariah's birth (in a couch session) and threw out the tidbit of how Kody saw the umbilical cord and immediately assumed the baby was a boy.  Meri then states that he was wrong...silly man...that she "just had a girl..." How devastating for Mariah to hear it put that way from her mother's lips...

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It seems that Maddie is jumping on the Mommy Blogger bandwagon, lamenting the small traumas and celebrating milestones with the world at large.  I can't imagine who would subscribe to these blogs, this is information generally of interest to immediate family and closest friends.  Maybe it makes other mothers feel that they are not alone if they have no one in their lives to share these triumphs and traumas.

Whatever the reason, it's safe to assume there is money or freebies in this so it's not surprising that a Brown would want to capitalize on this.

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On 11/2/2019 at 11:23 PM, Joan of Argh said:

I agree.... I think they'll definitely be putting this on the show and I can't say I blame them.

I kind of suspect that the reason they went public now was to get it out there so when the show starts they can make a smooth transition into the show and why they're there.

TLC might have been there for Evie's birth and already have it ready to go.

If it was me I think I'd try to secure a spot on the show for as long as possible so hubby could stay at home and help... There will be lots of doctor visits and traveling back and forth etc and Caleb could be a huge comfort and help to Maddie.

On a side note it was nice to see an actual smile on Axel's face and he looked cute! 😁

I 1000% agree. I have a rare genetic cancer disease. My brothers have it, all my kids have it, and my dad died at 61 from it. (OMG!! I just realised that today is the tenth anniversary of his death. And it's also my oldest daughter's 16th birthday. A lot of mixed emotions). 
 

Back on topic.....if I had the TLC platform I would exploit the hell out of it to get the word out about our disease. Cancer researchers work closely wish our population because we get a variety of cancers. NPR just put something out about advances in cancer research and my disease; the researchers won the Nobel. https://www.npr.org/2019/10/07/768032903/3-physician-scientists-will-share-2019-nobel-prize-for-physiology-or-medicine

Hell to the yes I would sign up for as much exposure as possible. This disease has devastated my family, drained financial resources, and has rendered me essentially disabled at 40. I would hate to be on television for any reason, but something to help my kids' future, cancer research, and financial provision? Yes, please.  
 

I was going to highlight so many excellent points regarding parenting, boundaries, consistent discipline, etc etc. but it's really unnecessary--you all have it covered. As a psychologist and a mother, I'll just give everyone two thumbs up for being reasonable, common sense, intelligent, and delightfully witty people. 

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4 hours ago, Roslyn said:

I did what I knew, animal training. Kindness and consistency, rewards for good behavior.  It worked for me.  If cranky and lashing out then exercise, change the routine. But routine is really important.  Her older one needs to know that his needs WILL be met. 

I think that's likely a big part of the problem.  The Browns don't seem big on routine, but more on following the "leader's" whims.  Maddie is going to have trouble doing what she hasn't seen modeled.  I hope she can overcome her upbringing to do better for her children.  There is so much security for children in routine and consistency and having boundaries.

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1 hour ago, Absolom said:

There is so much security for children in routine and consistency and having boundaries.

Doubly so for Axel because it will give him comfort and guidance when his sister will be the center of attention out of necessity.  When there is no anchor, the boat will just go aground.

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Maddie just put up an IG story... she says Axel saw a candy wrapper in the diaper bag and she told him there wasn't any more so he went ape shit crazy tearing and throwing everything out of the diaper bag scattering all over the living room looking for a candy

In the video he is sweaty, crying, dragging the diaper bag and whining... completely unhinged.

I felt a little sorry for him but jeeez he really is destructive... I hope he doesn't take his anger out on Evie.

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13 minutes ago, Absolom said:

That is behavior that needs to dealt with ASAP.  She should have picked him up and stopped him as soon as he began acting out and told him why it was unacceptable.  Letting children go completely unhinged is extremely unfair to the child.  She and her husband are the adults and need to step up and act like it.  

She’d rather get a video to post, I guess.

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I wonder if/how much Madison's siblings are freaking out. I understand that Evie's condition is quite rare, but I wonder if they could also be carriers of the gene that caused it. Caleb is not from a Mormon family so it's even more of a longshot that this happened. Unless the gene came from his side. I have no idea if there is even genetic testing for this. I know there are other cases of birth defects/genetic conditions stemming from Mormon (and fundie Mormon) inbreeding, and it is just so sad to think of the obstacles this little girl and perhaps others are going to face. 

Edited by Teafortwo
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On 11/17/2019 at 2:12 PM, Absolom said:

This is what happens when you give into the first few tantrums.  They learn that they can get their way throwing fits.  She needs to pick him up and put him on a step, in a chair, a corner, or wherever she picks and make him stay there until he calms enough to rejoin the family and NEVER, EVER give him what he's throwing the fit over until much later.  

Based on what I've seen in the show, this is EXACTLY how Janelle "parented" her kids. I remember at least one episode where her younger boys got into a fight resulting in a bloody nose. Janelle did NOTHING and Kody just yelled because he couldn't be bothered to get off his ass.

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On 11/18/2019 at 7:51 AM, Sandy W said:

It seems that Maddie is jumping on the Mommy Blogger bandwagon, lamenting the small traumas and celebrating milestones with the world at large.  I can't imagine who would subscribe to these blogs, this is information generally of interest to immediate family and closest friends.  Maybe it makes other mothers feel that they are not alone if they have no one in their lives to share these triumphs and traumas.

Whatever the reason, it's safe to assume there is money or freebies in this so it's not surprising that a Brown would want to capitalize on this.

From what I've seen, she sucks as a mom and doesn't want to learn anything or take advice from experienced parents.  
I feel bad for Axel's future teachers.

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26 minutes ago, CocoPuffs said:

I also think she’s using Evie’s condition as a reason to not discipline Axel or take the time to correct him. It sounds bad, but maybe you all know what I’m trying to say. It’s like “we’ve got our hands full with the baby, and we just don’t have time to do anything else, so big brother can have and do whatever he wants if it’ll keep him quiet.” 

This whole family thrives on laziness and excuses.  As far as we know Evie does not require 24/7 nursing care or anything.  I just don't think they want to be bothered.  They will be paying for that big time in the future if there are surgeries or treatments that really will requite special care and Axel will be running amok demanding their attention.

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I imagine they must be totally overwhelmed. Madison has posted that Evie's fingers have no joints. It also looks like the other, shorter arm may have no elbow. She's a beautiful baby but I can't imagine how hard this is. Not to excuse their possible poor parenting of Axel, but it all just sounds incredibly difficult.

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8 minutes ago, Teafortwo said:

She's a beautiful baby but I can't imagine how hard this is.

It must be emotionally exhausting but Evie's still young enough that those disabilities are not causing much of a hardship.  She's not feeding herself or doing anything that requires manual dexterity yet. The really hard times are yet to come.  This is the time to prepare for her disabilities by doing research and also getting Axel in line so that when it gets more difficult they will be better prepared.

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This may sound harsh, but, I wish young couples would think long and hard about the consequences of growing their families. Maddie seemed overwhelmed with one kid- perhaps if Axel was so challenging, they could have waited a year or so to focus on him. Like young engaged couples that often focus on the wedding and hoopla, instead of the commitment and relationship, prospective parents may not think thru all the potential challenges involved with another baby. 

Maddie is not doing Axel any favors by allowing him to misbehave. Publicly branding him as a difficult child is pretty sad. Hopefully they get some counseling on parenting a medically fragile baby. 

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15 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

 This is the time to prepare for her disabilities by doing research and also getting Axel in line so that when it gets more difficult they will be better prepared.

Absolutely agree! Also agree with JuliegirlJ that

1 hour ago, Juliegirlj said:

Maddie is not doing Axel any favors by allowing him to misbehave. Publicly branding him as a difficult child is pretty sad.

It's awful!

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25 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

What the heck is wrong with casseroles?

My kids loved them, much more so than other meat and potato type dinners.

I'd add a side salad or other veggie and everyone ate up.

cassderole.png

We can only hope that lil' Axel liked it or the next blog will be a "woe is me, he had a tantrum and threw it on the floor".

I think, like her mother, Maddie is scratching for posts that relate to her target audience, in Maddie's case, that would be other young moms.  They both feel compelled to post every inane, trivial thought that flickers through their minds.

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Now I'm remembering an episode that Kootie said one of his brothers growing up pronounced chaos as "CHA-OS."  

I too hope Axel liked the casserole.  It was more than likely better than mock tapioca puddin' or fish stick tacos.  One would hope so, anyway.

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1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Now I'm remembering an episode that Kootie said one of his brothers growing up pronounced chaos as "CHA-OS."  

I too hope Axel liked the casserole.  It was more than likely better than mock tapioca puddin' or fish stick tacos.  One would hope so, anyway.

Maybe he threw it across the room demanding spaghetti-o's or Kraft Blue Box. I see broccoli in there.

2 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

What the heck is wrong with casseroles?

My kids loved them, much more so than other meat and potato type dinners.

I'd add a side salad or other veggie and everyone ate up.

cassderole.png

Casserole season is coming - my mom used to make turkey enchilada casserole from Sunset Magazine Favorite Recipes. Yum, yum!

Edited by DakotaJustice
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4 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Now I'm remembering an episode that Kootie said one of his brothers growing up pronounced chaos as "CHA-OS."  

Not surprising.  All this talk of chaos reminds me of KAOS & Maxwell Smart's nemesis on Get Smart, a much better show.

Edited by deirdra
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1 hour ago, Joan of Argh said:

Fake rice, cheese, chicken, cheese, broccoli and more cheese. 

I love cauliflower rice.  At least there are a lot of healthy vegetables in there to balance out all the cheese.  Don't get me wrong, I love cheese (and Mr. Cat makes a killer mac-n-cheese) but if this is a go to it won't be long before she's complaining about digestive issues too.

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1 hour ago, Joan of Argh said:

Fake rice, cheese, chicken, cheese, broccoli and more cheese. 

Cheese is the Spam of the Brown fambly.  At least there is more protein and much less starch than their usual recipes.

Edited by deirdra
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