Maddie Brown: Seeking a One-Woman Man

[LilWharveyGal]

7 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Why in the name of all that is holy would someone post something that horrible of themselves?  

This could be said about almost all of the Browns' photos. 😆

But my guesses are a) for sympathy, or b) she's so sleep deprived she doesn't know what she's doing. Cuz why tag Mariah and Aspyn??

[crazycatlady58]

Ok, so I think we are all friends here so could someone please answer a question for me? What the h*ll is that on her chest? Is she breast feeding her baby? Why does it look so odd? What way is the baby facing? I have never had a child but I have cared for a few, I have also seen friends breastfeed their children ( and they were all very modest) and I have not seen anything that looked like that.

[Sofa Sloth]

6 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Ok, so I think we are all friends here so could someone please answer a question for me? What the h*ll is that on her chest? Is she breast feeding her baby? Why does it look so odd? What way is the baby facing? I have never had a child but I have cared for a few, I have also seen friends breastfeed their children ( and they were all very modest) and I have not seen anything that looked like that.

It looks like a fabric baby carrier or baby sling so you can be hands free and get stuff done (or take selfies like Maddie 🙄 ) they’re often used for discreet nursing as well. 

Not trying to mum shame her, but you probably shouldn’t use them until the baby about 6 weeks and can hold it’s head up somewhat so they don’t slump over and suffocate in your chest (It’s happened before ☹️) The baby’s head is also supposed to be with kissing range. 

Edited September 15, 2019 by Sofa Sloth
Typos

[Gramto6]

Could it be a breast pump? She may be pumping so that dad can feed the baby too and bond.

[crazycatlady58]

It just looked so odd. I finally recognized the ear but couldn't figure out what the lump was on top of the head. I guess it's her breast pressed up? I am not mom shaming her I just couldn't figure out what was going on. It looks like the kid can't breathe.

[Sofa Sloth]

5 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

It just looked so odd. I finally recognized the ear but couldn't figure out what the lump was on top of the head. I guess it's her breast pressed up? I am not mom shaming her I just couldn't figure out what was going on. It looks like the kid can't breathe.

Yep I see what you mean, so baby’s head is facing towards her and tilted upwards and I’d say the lump on the top of the head is normal, it’s just the from the skull plates being separated either side of the fontanel (the normal soft tissue in middle of a newborns head). Until the skull bones fuse together properly about a year in all babies have it, but yeah it does look freaky here! 

Edited September 15, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[crazycatlady58]

7 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Yep I see what you mean, so baby’s head is facing towards her and tilted upwards and I’d say the lump on the top of the head is normal, it’s just the from the skull plates being separated either side of the fontanel (the normal soft tissue in middle of a newborns head). Until the skull bones fuse together properly about a year in all babies have it, but yeah it does look freaky here! 

Thanks for the explanation of the sling I thought it was her robe which made less sense because I could not figure out how the baby was supported .

[Sandy W]

53 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Thanks for the explanation of the sling I thought it was her robe which made less sense because I could not figure out how the baby was supported .

I thought it was a robe too.  I'm not familiar with the slings and the one that Sofa Sloth used as illustration seemed to be one-shouldered but I guess there are different styles.  Maddie seems to be engaging in skin to skin bonding, as the illustrations show the mother figure wearing a shirt.  I hope it's cooled off in N. Carolina by now or that the Brush family has air conditioning.

[Kohola3]

Well, color me clueless (obviously one of the tenets - or "tenants", as Robyn says - of being a COL)  but I was so gobsmacked by that face that I totally missed what looks like an alien under that robe.  Even with everyone's explanations, I still cannot make it out as a human shape.

[deirdra]

13 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

But my guesses are a) for sympathy, or b) she's so sleep deprived she doesn't know what she's doing. Cuz why tag Mariah and Aspyn??

And why is she only tagging Mariah and Aspyn - are they pregnant or considering "just add sperm"?

She could be sitting down, supporting baby like she held her belly for photo-ops pre-birth, skin-to-skin bonding. The dent in Vanga's head appears to be her temple; she probably has a large forehead like Axel.

Edited September 15, 2019 by deirdra

[Sofa Sloth]

Yeah there a few different styles or ways to wrap them.  This style below is likely the one she has. I found these really  helpful with my second child as you need to be more hands free on and on the go and they are comfy and snuggly for a newborn baby who just wants to be near you. 

[ginger90]

[Kohola3]

Nothing a fussy nursing infant needs more than three jolts of caffeine.

And, seriously Maddie, who gives a flying fuck about your problems.  You are a new mother, we get it.  Everyone goes through it so stop with the hideous photos.

[DakotaJustice]

51 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Nothing a fussy nursing infant needs more than three jolts of caffeine.

And, seriously Maddie, who gives a flying fuck about your problems.  You are a new mother, we get it.  Everyone goes through it so stop with the hideous photos.

That's what I was going to say. 

WHO GIVES A SHIT?!?

If she's breast feeding maybe she should lay off the coffee because her daughter is probably getting a hit of caffeine too. 

I'm not an expert, I'm just assuming.

Edited September 16, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[Kohola3]

9 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

I'm not an expert, I'm just assuming.

Caffeine is passed to the kid in the breast milk albeit not in large quantities.  But if you are bitching about a fussy kid you might want to eliminate it.

[DakotaJustice]

8 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Caffeine is passed to the kid in the breast milk albeit not in large quantities.  But if you are bitching about a fussy kid you might want to eliminate it.

That was what I thought! 

[Roslyn]

Hell yes it will go through the breast milk!!  The worst night of screaming I ever experienced with my first born son was after I ate broccoli.  NO idea why, but 12 hours later he screamed bloody murder, he would latch, and then gag and spit it out.  Ugh.

He is now 27 years old and even the smell of broccoli makes him gag...

[neh]

One of the worst days I had with my son was the day after I ate escargot. I had no thought it would effect my breast milk. What can I say,  I was young and learned the hard way!

[ginger90]

[xwordfanatik]

Dear Little Evie (your full name is awful; so sorry):

When you breathe fire as your mother would like, please aim it at your stupid Grandpa's ugly head.  It's past time he got rid of that ugly rats' nest he calls hair.  

[Sandy W]

I don't think Lulaohno carry a line for infants but I wonder if Meri spent time and some of her abundance of riches shopping for cute little outfits for her bonus granddaughter Evie. 

If Meri had taken this opportunity make arrangements to squeeze a visit to NC into her travel itinerary, the gesture may have gone a long way to healing the apparent rift between Maddie and Meri.  Maybe though, the status quo is just how this loving family wants to remain.

[smarty]

I mean this in a nice way - that baby looks like Janelle with that expression....

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Dear Little Evie (your full name is awful; so sorry):

When you breathe fire as your mother would like, please aim it at your stupid Grandpa's ugly head.  It's past time he got rid of that ugly rats' nest he calls hair.  

If that kid breathes fire the whole lot of them are in danger.  LuLaNo seems mighty flammable.

[xwordfanatik]

3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

If that kid breathes fire the whole lot of them are in danger.  LuLaNo seems mighty flammable.

I didn't even think of that, but you are right!  That synthetic crap will melt, like the Wicked Witch in Oz (Robyn is a dead ringer, except for the green skin.)  😛

[Joan of Argh]

9 hours ago, ginger90 said:

*ribbit*

[riverblue22]

Evie won't be breathing fire, anymore than her mother did.  Madison has been the biggest disappointment out of this bunch.  A bright girl, with a goal to be a lawyer, she couldn't even be bothered to finish college before she started on her half dozen kids.

[Sofa Sloth]

This trend of imposing big stupid bows on little baby girl’s heads needs to die already. They look ridiculous, annoying for the child, unnecessary and are probably a safety hazard, just let her be a fricken baby! Babies are cute just as they are. She’s a not a doll or a damn Christmas tree. - Signed a COL who’s completely over this millennial trend bullcrap. 

[Adiba]

10 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

This trend of imposing big stupid bows on little baby girl’s heads needs to die already. They look ridiculous, annoying for the child, unnecessary and are probably a safety hazard, just let her be a fricken baby! Babies are cute just as they are. She’s a not a doll or a damn Christmas tree. - Signed a COL who’s completely over this millennial trend bullcrap. 

I never liked the look of putting big, oversized things on baby girls' heads but I figured to each his own.

However, I did think they could be a safety hazard--can they get wrapped around the baby's neck? Hopefully those things are only for photo ops.

[Sofa Sloth]

40 minutes ago, Adiba said:

I never liked the look of putting big, oversized things on baby girls' heads but I figured to each his own.

However, I did think they could be a safety hazard--can they get wrapped around the baby's neck? Hopefully those things are only for photo ops.

Sadly no, I know a friend of mine has a baby girl who is wearing them constantly, - while sleeping, in car seats, pram, all the time. Not my business or place to comment obviously (as like you say to each their own), but I’ve had to bite my tongue so much it nearly bleeds when I hang out with them, as I think they’re fricken ridiculous, sexist, stupid, simpering and unnecessary AF! Ahhh ok it’s off my chest, that feels better. 😊  

Edited September 21, 2019 by Sofa Sloth

[Kohola3]

8 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

I know a friend of mine has a baby girl who is wearing them constantly, - while sleeping, in car seats, pram, all the time.

Hope they are not too tight.  Those soft little skulls are easily molded for the first year or so. Kid could end up looking kind of freaky.

[Sofa Sloth]

1 minute ago, Kohola3 said:

Hope they are not too tight.  Those soft little skulls are easily molded for the first year or so. Kid could end up looking kind of freaky.

Funny you should mention this, her head DID look conical to me today! 🤔 she’s 7 weeks old and is in a headband EVERY day all day. Funnily enough this mother is the opposite of a girly girl herself, I think she’s just completely caught up in having a much wanted girl child and this showy big bow trend, that she thinks she needs to do it.

I just find it bizarre in this day and age, with all the woke pronouns available, that we appear to be going backwards with excessively gender stereotyping little girls with accessories they don’t require or even have a say in yet. Is there a happy medium here? 😉 

[Kohola3]

6 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Is there a happy medium here?

Probably not.  New mothers are all gaga over their kids. They might look back later and wonder what the heck they were thinking but you can't reason with them while still euphoric about their new little toys.

[toodles]

1 hour ago, Sofa Sloth said:

This trend of imposing big stupid bows on little baby girl’s heads needs to die already. They look ridiculous, annoying for the child, unnecessary and are probably a safety hazard, just let her be a fricken baby! Babies are cute just as they are. She’s a not a doll or a damn Christmas tree. - Signed a COL who’s completely over this millennial trend bullcrap. 

I second this.  COLs rule.

Edited September 21, 2019 by toodles
Stupid autocorrect

[xwordfanatik]

Three on a match.  I hate the stupid bow thing, too.

Now get off my newly-mowed lawn, and take your mangy little dog with you!

[Absolom]

I hate them so much that I taught my newborn granddaughter how to remove them.  We stopped that trend right in its tracks and other relatives stopped buying them.  Smart kid started screaming when anyone tried to put one on her head.  Another COL who finds the headgear a waste of money and energy.  Let the kid be, Maddie.  People will know she's a girl and it's no catastrophe if they don't.

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, Absolom said:

I hate them so much that I taught my newborn granddaughter how to remove them.  We stopped that trend right in its tracks and other relatives stopped buying them.  Smart kid started screaming when anyone tried to put one on her head.  Another COL who finds the headgear a waste of money and energy.  Let the kid be, Maddie.  People will know she's a girl and it's no catastrophe if they don't.

You are a fabulous grandmother! 

[Sofa Sloth]

3 hours ago, Absolom said:

I hate them so much that I taught my newborn granddaughter how to remove them.  We stopped that trend right in its tracks and other relatives stopped buying them.  Smart kid started screaming when anyone tried to put one on her head.  Another COL who finds the headgear a waste of money and energy.  Let the kid be, Maddie.  People will know she's a girl and it's no catastrophe if they don't.

This is amazing and I aspire to be a grandma like you one day 😆 

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

You are a fabulous grandmother! 

Second this! 

Edited September 21, 2019 by Sofa Sloth
Typo, Aspire not inspire 🤦🏼‍♀️

[DakotaJustice]

I don't know what the temperature is in the Carolinas at the moment but it's hot here and I remember NC being hot and muggy. 

Does a baby really need to wear a hot do-rag on a hot day?? 

[ginger90]

[Kohola3]

Back to pix with the pacifier in his mouth looking kind of spaced out.  Pseudo-granny Christine needs to go and cheer him up.

[Joan of Argh]

40 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

He isn't really "holding" her and he looks like he couldn't care less and would rather watch his tv show that mommy ripped him away from to stage this BS.

They can't even get it right when they stage the whole thing.... at least wait till he looks in her direction before you snap.   🙄

[Sofa Sloth]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

How old is Axel? Lose the dummy already! I’ve literally never seen a pic of him without it. He doesn’t have a sucking reflex anymore, so he’s now building a reliance on it as a comfort association which will only make it even harder to ditch later on. Sure maybe he’ll be upset briefly, but at least he’ll have no dental issues and be able speak and self soothe correctly in the future. 

[deirdra]

11 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

I just find it bizarre in this day and age, with all the woke pronouns available, that we appear to be going backwards with excessively gender stereotyping little girls with accessories they don’t require or even have a say in yet. 😉 

I've thought the same about all the gender reveal parties.  When some kids turn out to be transgender, all of their baby photos will need to be redone, like Robyn's family with their new ramen-noodle-head Daddy.

[Sofa Sloth]

2 minutes ago, deirdra said:

I've thought the same about all the gender reveal parties.  When some kids turn out to be transgender, all of their baby photos will need to be redone, like Robyn's family with their new ramen-noodle-head Daddy.

Thank you for bringing this up! Gender reveal parties are my third most hated millennial trend, right after giant bows and fake hipster glasses. 

[Irate Panda]

I watch this show intermittently at best.  I know Maddie said she wanted to be a lawyer, but did she  show any aptitude for it?  I, also, have a question about her husband.  Isn't he a good bit older than she is?  I'm guessing he's in his mid 30s, why was he was he out of work?  Was it medical issues or was he following the Brown model of employment?

[Sofa Sloth]

8 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

I watch this show intermittently at best.  I know Maddie said she wanted to be a lawyer, but did she  show any aptitude for it?  I, also, have a question about her husband.  Isn't he a good bit older than she is?  I'm guessing he's in his mid 30s, why was he was he out of work?  Was it medical issues or was he following the Brown model of employment?

I’ll give your questions a go, though I’m sure I’ll get some corrections as my memory’s rusty. I believe in Maddie’s senior year of high school a lot was made out of the fact she wanted to go to law school and be a Prosecutor? or Supreme Court judge? or some similar lofty goal. She was class president so I think Janelle especially had big college dreams for her, though Maddie never really seemed that enthused or ambitious about college, I think she just wanted away from the family more than anything. I remember she did a stupid bland speech comparing her school to a pizza at her graduation, it didn’t inspire much confidence in her critical thinking or academic ability IMO.

Her husband is her late uncle’s brother in law. They met and fell in love at his funeral apparently (as you do). She was 17? He was 26? There’s a 9 year age gap anyway. She married at 19 and dropped out of college after.

 He worked at Home Depot I think when he suffered a brain aneurysm? or something and that was the reason they supposedly moved back in with Janelle in Vegas for ‘family support’ afterwards (despite living near all his family at the time and the fact they moved months after his health issue). The move had nothing to do with TLC’s new session that coincided with it; I’m sure the offer to feature her pregnancy and pay them handsomely to home birth in the tub as (otherwise unemployed and fancy free) reality stars was surely just coincidence and not a factor at all 😉 

[ginger90]

I think she attempted nursing school along the way, hoping to become  a midwife? I believe she had Axel in daycare at that point.

Edited September 22, 2019 by ginger90

[DakotaJustice]

I always thought Maddie was talking out of her ass with the attorney/law school shit. 

Class president is a popularity contest, primarily. 

If she was really serious about becoming an attorney she would've been doing something about it - interning at the courthouse, or at a law office for example. 

My own parents are nearly 10 years apart in age...so are Kody and Robyn. I don't think it's a big deal. 

Don't recall that Maddie had Axel in daycare while she was play-acting about nursing school, but they better start saving for the orthodontist now.

[Kohola3]

9 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

Was it medical issues or was he following the Brown model of employment?

It was a pulmonary embolism. Millions of people have them and, once the crisis period passes and blood thinners are on board there is no reason not to be able to work.  But taking money from tabloids is a whole lot easier.

[Natalie68]

5 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

I’ll give your questions a go, though I’m sure I’ll get some corrections as my memory’s rusty. I believe in Maddie’s senior year of high school a lot was made out of the fact she wanted to go to law school and be a Prosecutor? or Supreme Court judge? or some similar lofty goal. She was class president so I think Janelle especially had big college dreams for her, though Maddie never really seemed that enthused or ambitious about college, I think she just wanted away from the family more than anything. I remember she did a stupid bland speech comparing her school to a pizza at her graduation, it didn’t inspire much confidence in her critical thinking or academic ability IMO.

Her husband is her late uncle’s brother in law. They met and fell in love at his funeral apparently (as you do). She was 17? He was 26? There’s a 9 year age gap anyway. She married at 19 and dropped out of college after.

 He worked at Home Depot I think when he suffered a brain aneurysm? or something and that was the reason they supposedly moved back in with Janelle in Vegas for ‘family support’ afterwards (despite living near all his family at the time and the fact they moved months after his health issue). The move had nothing to do with TLC’s new session that coincided with it; I’m sure the offer to feature her pregnancy and pay them handsomely to home birth in the tub as (otherwise unemployed and fancy free) reality stars was surely just coincidence and not a factor at all 😉 

This made me laugh!   Lung blood clots.  She did muse about becoming a Supreme.