Season 3 Discussion

[DangerousMinds]

Maybe Melanie has very sensitive skin and is allergic to many brands of makeup? Just a thought that crossed my mind.

[3girlsforus]

Not true for many federal government contractors. They specifically require U. S. citizenship. And the federal government will only employ non-citizens if no U.S. citizen was found to be qualified. I know this because my co-worker was offered a position on a different contract and then was denied the job because he has only a green card. Same thing happened to a Canadian friend of mine.

 

Well yea but I don't see Nikki being able to go through enough schooling and education to be looking for a federal government contract position. Her limitations will come from lack of education, not because she has a green card. The education is something she will need Mark for because she doesn't have the money to pay for it. Therefore it won't happen. And even if Nikki decided she wanted to work at a minimum wage job in the day and school at night, I don't see Mark being ok with her not being at his beck and call like that. 

[Lion18]

No, I think most of us agree that Mark had the right to protect the assets he's earned pre-Nikki, but our concern was that he made it clear that once their marriage ends, she gets NOTHING! No car, no cash, no furniture, not one little thing--she'll basically be tossed out on her ass with the clothes on her back. He did say any money she makes would be her own--but she can't work yet since she doesn't have a green card, she doesn't have a driver's license to drive to a job or to a college or vocational school, and she has no support system there (no family or friends--Elise, Mark's daughter, is the closest friend she has) to help her get back on her feet.

If the " diamond" ring is real she can always sell it and get some money. I doubt it is real tho

[bravofan27]

Nikki will do whatever Mark decides is good for her (meaning him). She will learn to drive so she can go shopping and spend the weekly allowance Mark will provide. She will wake up each morning and eat the breakfast Mark makes so Mark will have company. She will do everything that Mark tells her to do until she meets another man who offers escape.

 

The best thing that Mark can do for Nikki is not give her a kid. The last thing a poor, uneducated, young woman needs is a child. She should count her blessings he doesn't want any more.

 

I think Melanie has rosesa. She needs a  Rx (MetroGel) and some foundation with good coverage. Metro Gel is a miracle for inflammation and kills all the bacteria that causes the irritation. I love the stuff, cuz I am also really blotchy. 

[GracieK]

Even if it was real, you don't get much selling a diamond.  At least not back to jewelers or pawn shops.  And one that small would net you a negligible sum of money.

[bravofan27]

It could be that Devar was joking about the 90% comment, or it could be that he's terrible at math.

 

I think he was put on the spot and just said something. But yeah, quick/mental math is probably not his strong suit. I think he will send back whatever Melanie allows, and then probably more on the sly. My husband's family asks him for money often and I hate it, but I just stay out of it because, well, I want to stay married. It does piss me off though that they don't buy Christmas presents and they didn't buy us anything for a wedding gift. Urrggg. 

 

Even if it was real, you don't get much selling a diamond.  At least not back to jewelers or pawn shops.  And one that small would net you a negligible sum of money.

 

Nikki isn't that savvy. She'd probably take the ring to the pawn shop and get 200 for it, regardless of the true value.. 

Edited December 8, 2015 by bravofan27

[charmed1]

Well yea but I don't see Nikki being able to go through enough schooling and education to be looking for a federal government contract position. Her limitations will come from lack of education, not because she has a green card. The education is something she will need Mark for because she doesn't have the money to pay for it. Therefore it won't happen. And even if Nikki decided she wanted to work at a minimum wage job in the day and school at night, I don't see Mark being ok with her not being at his beck and call like that.

I don't disagree, but people who work for the government aren't all sitting in offices. Many are sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets. And even the competition for those jobs is stiff. It took my uncle several years to get in as a maintenance man and he's a U.S. Vet. It's a tough job market.

But I think Nikki's lack of a drivers license will hinder her most. Mark's neighborhood looks nice, but doesn't seem very close to businesses or schools that Nikki can walk to and buses don't usually run that often in the burbs. It'd be great if Mark would call up EZ Method and get Nikki some driving lessons, but I doubt he would. Driving school costs money and Mark would probably say he can teach her better, but of course it would be on his schedule.

I envision Nikki taking secret driving lessons and faking her death, then cutting her hair and moving cross country where she puts her hands all over her car windows a la Sleeping with the Enemy.

I found the body language of everyone on the reunion very interesting. All the women except Nikki and Carolina sat up very straight and confidently. Carolina clung to Fernando, but I think it had more to do with her being nervous and the language barrier. Josh seemed to shrink behind Aleksandra, and Mark had a vice grip on Nikki's back. Nikki has more of a command of the English language than Carolina yet she looked to Mark every time before she answered the host's question. She looked frightened and unsure of herself.

Edited December 8, 2015 by charmed1

[cooksdelight]

I doubt Mark could afford that lawyer.  I think?  It may have been a "free" consultation - which is why he told her what was wrong with it and NOT to sign.  You want more?  Like notations, suggestions, and modifications - you retain the attorney and pay.  

 

I bet TLC found the attorney, but that no one paid him.

As I have posted several times....TLC paid the guy, he would not appear otherwise.

[PamPote65]

Simply being "thin" does not mean they are in good cardiovascular shape or are healthy. She looks normal and healthy to me.

I'm not talking about just being thin, but they are usually thinner too-- people from many of these countries are actually healthier (less heart disease, diabetes, better skin, etc.)  But they don't eat "health" foods and they don't "work out" like Americans.  

Edited December 8, 2015 by PamPote65

[guilfoyleatpp]

I'm not talking about just being thin, but they are usually thinner too-- people from many of these countries are actually healthier (less heart disease, diabetes, better skin, etc.)  But they don't eat "health" foods and they don't "work out" like Americans.  

It sounds like you already have some ideas about why they are more "in shape." So why pose it here?

[cooksdelight]

Let's take the diet and health talk to Small Talk, it doesn't belong here.

Thank you.

[still hoping]

I am happy for Carolina and Fernando - I have been rooting for them all along! I think they are great together. 

 ¡Felicitaciones!

 

I am also happy for Noon and Kyle  - the real deal! Wishing them so much happiness! Oh my Buddha <grin<

 

Josh and Alexandria? I hope she will be happier in a bigger city and being a Mom...seems too soon but?

 

Loren and Alexie are an odd match but I guess a match...she will keep him awake for sure - their energy levels are so different

he seems serious and she seems all fluff but they do make a nice looking couple and again the "edit" may have worked against them

 

I love Mel's son - what is up with the Dad? Devar is a good guy but yeah it seems to be somewhat of a compromise deal, both are pretty happy

I reserve the right to dislike them if they try to opt for a spin off - I have no desire to see Bev anymore but somehow I feel like we might have

to look at this gang on other shows - Dr Phil this week....maybe Tattoo Nightmares in future? Or Couple's Therapy? 

 

 

sisterhood is powerful when you are on your puter -- easy to call Fernando a fat pig and worse, easy to boo hoo about poor little Nikki and such

 

some of it is editing....I don't care how bad things are at her home, that is no reason to root for her to get a visa ahead of more deserving people

While I think Mark i pretty disgusting I find Nikki equally disgusting. They both deserve each other. I also maintain that part of his appeal for Nikki was the idea of being on tv 

 

edit to add - only $2000 each? ouch

Edited December 9, 2015 by still hoping

[cooksdelight]

I just moved a bunch of posts that had nothing to do with this episode. Mark and Nikki and her job prospects, where he lives near the airport, where the bus line is.....not in this episode.

I'm tired of moving posts. From this point going forward, below this note, anything else that comes along that didn't happen in this episode will disappear.

If you're not sure where to put something, PM me, OnceSane, Bella or Drogo. We'll be happy to help you.

[CofCinci]

We've seen many men and women featured on this series over the last three seasons but Mark is the first one that is actually menacing. The looks he gave Erica when she asked basic questions was downright scary.

[Eme]

Bravofan27 - ita -- The best thing Mark can do is to not get Nikki pregnant. Good call!

When Mark said "I don't want to hear you complain 10 years from now about not having a child" (or something like that) The look on Nikki's face was "I'll still be with you in 10 years? Nah."

No worries Mark! She won't be around to nag you about Anything! She'll be long gone with a nice family of her own - and you not anywhere around. Heck! I bet one of his Old Fogey friends would treat her better than Mark.

Mark comments were so Selfish they took your breath away. Yes, her Dad asked you to treat her like your daughter. Who says that? Someone who is at a severe disadvantage and who is giving their daughter to you with the HOPE that life is better for her in the US. I cringe to think of the half-truths that Mark spewed over there in the Phillapines.

Someone nailed it on the head when they mentioned that when Mark talks, he seems like he is saying something, but when you listen to the words, he is spouting nonsense. "Soon we shall be betrothed." Idiot. He just says words and thinks that they make sense. They don't. I am guessing that is why his "hundreds" of one-off dates in the past 20 years have gone south so fast. He talks but he does not make sense. Nikki will never learn proper English listening to Mark talky talk.

I have hope for Nikki. She just needs to play it out. Stay the minimum amount of time. Find a boyfriend and get out of dodge asap. Mark is desperate and more of an idiot than he seems if he thinks that Nikki will be around for longer than that.

As for Devar, I think he was totally serious when he said that he would send over 90% of his earnings. He sees that Mel is doing just fine. She doesn't need any cash from him, and his family DOES. So, yeah. He was not joking. He even reiterated it in his Solo Interview. He said it twice and I believe him. So should Mel.

Looking at Fernandito, I think he really turned a page and maybe grew up a bit when he got married. Hopefully he and Caro have a nice relationship away from his Mom and they won't be affected too much by the mil.

Did not like the interviewer. She made a couple of score points with her attitude towards Mark, but she didn't go deep enough with Mark. He was so defensive, she should have asked him why? Yet she dug and dug on Josh's wedding night (ick) and on Noon's mother in law (Sad).

Oh yeah, and Mark lifting Nikki in the water in Hawaii? Icky! He looked like a Old Man lifting his daughter.

[cooksdelight]

Knowing Erica Hill from the Today show, she is a tough interviewer sometimes. I am betting she did ask Mark some hard questions and he either walked off or just sat there and refused to answer.... and it got edited out.

[mittsigirl]

Mark will not have a vasectomy, he will not be able to abide another man (even a doctor!) see or touch his "manly" bits. And a woman doctor? An independent American fat jealous doctor? I don't think so. He'll make sure that birth control is Nikki's responsibility, so he can drone on and on about it, and make her feel like shit if it fails.

With men like mark, it is NEVER their fault, and they NEVER apologize.

[mittsigirl]

Nikki will do whatever Mark decides is good for her (meaning him). She will learn to drive so she can go shopping and spend the weekly allowance Mark will provide. She will wake up each morning and eat the breakfast Mark makes so Mark will have company. She will do everything that Mark tells her to do until she meets another man who offers escape.

 

The best thing that Mark can do for Nikki is not give her a kid. The last thing a poor, uneducated, young woman needs is a child. She should count her blessings he doesn't want any more.

 

I think Melanie has rosesa. She needs a  Rx (MetroGel) and some foundation with good coverage. Metro Gel is a miracle for inflammation and kills all the bacteria that causes the irritation. I love the stuff, cuz I am also really blotchy. 

Metro Gel did nothing for me, did not take away any red spots, tried 2 bottles of the stuff! I am so happy it worked for you, because rosacea is a terrible thing to have on your face-every darn day!

I think he was put on the spot and just said something. But yeah, quick/mental math is probably not his strong suit. I think he will send back whatever Melanie allows, and then probably more on the sly. My husband's family asks him for money often and I hate it, but I just stay out of it because, well, I want to stay married. It does piss me off though that they don't buy Christmas presents and they didn't buy us anything for a wedding gift. Urrggg. 

 

Nikki isn't that savvy. She'd probably take the ring to the pawn shop and get 200 for it, regardless of the true value.. 

All you can do is grin & bare it, and don't stoop down to their level:)

[RCharter]

I doubt Mark could afford that lawyer.  I think?  It may have been a "free" consultation - which is why he told her what was wrong with it and NOT to sign.  You want more?  Like notations, suggestions, and modifications - you retain the attorney and pay.  

 

I bet TLC found the attorney, but that no one paid him.  

I believe for most pre-nups to be valid the party that hasn't drafted it has to have independent legal counsel/representation

 

I think he was put on the spot and just said something. But yeah, quick/mental math is probably not his strong suit. I think he will send back whatever Melanie allows, and then probably more on the sly. My husband's family asks him for money often and I hate it, but I just stay out of it because, well, I want to stay married. It does piss me off though that they don't buy Christmas presents and they didn't buy us anything for a wedding gift. Urrggg. 

 

Nikki isn't that savvy. She'd probably take the ring to the pawn shop and get 200 for it, regardless of the true value.. 

I think on the sly is the operative phrase.  I don't get the impression he is really all that into her, so I think for him, its great if he can avoid fights and keep the peace so he will try to keep it from her.  And he will really hide it for two years.  But I think Melanie & the sisters grimm are already suspicious so they will side eye everything he comes up with to try to hide how much he is sending home.  

 

I don't know, my parents are from another country...they came here and both did very well.  They have fought often over the years, but NEVER about money and I think part of that is that they actually keep separate accounts.  They are both very generous when they want to be, and the other doesn't really get mad because they don't feel like its taking money from them personally.

 

I feel like if Melanie really sat down and thought on it, she would realize that most of this is only about principle with her and it may not be a principle worth fighting over. Without the constant trips to Jamaica she will build up a nest egg in no time.  She is already paying a rent/mortgage and was doing so comfortably before Devar entered the picture.  Any support she gets from her ex for Hunter won't change.  If Devar had a separate account, she could charge for 1/2 the utilities/bills and rent if she wanted.  But even doing his very best,and handing her all his money, Devar may not make enough to contribute half anyways.  If his financial contribution was that important to her, I would think she would pick someone other than a resort employee.

 

If she is able to do fine financially, and his family is really in a position to need it whereas she doesn't I guess I don't see why she would fight this hard over it.  It would be another deal, to me at least, if she was really hurting for the money, or if she was in Dani's financial position.  People like Dani, really need the financial help a partner can bring.  I guess I don't see Mel in the same boat.  Is it really worth the fight?

[KarmaG]

Knowing Erica Hill from the Today show, she is a tough interviewer sometimes. I am betting she did ask Mark some hard questions and he either walked off or just sat there and refused to answer.... and it got edited out.

 

Or TLC wouldn't let her ask the hard questions. Much like they wouldn't let Taron (sp?) ask the Browns any hard questions in their tell alls.

[3girlsforus]

 

 

 

 

If she is able to do fine financially, and his family is really in a position to need it whereas she doesn't I guess I don't see why she would fight this hard over it.  It would be another deal, to me at least, if she was really hurting for the money, or if she was in Dani's financial position.  People like Dani, really need the financial help a partner can bring.  I guess I don't see Mel in the same boat.  Is it really worth the fight?

 

I think the question is whether his family is really in a position to need, long term, to be supported by Devar.  Mel did mention several times that she had an issue with supporting people who have the ability to work. Up until now Devar has been their financial support  - and from what it sounds like he did the cooking and most other stuff too. So they will need some support in the near future. I didn't see all the conversations with his family, but in the ones I did see there was talk about when he was going to have a job so he could send them money but I didn't hear the family members say anything about looking for a job themselves. 

 

We really have no way to know the full dynamic. There may very well be good reasons that he has to support his family permanently. Maybe they are looking for work to support themselves and only want support while they look, which may be a while. On the other hand, if his family simply expects Devar to support them because that's been his role, then Mel does have a right to at least question it. I know from my SIL, who is Jamaican, that the culture of this kind of support is different than in the US but how much support should at least be discussed rather than just declared at the dinner table. The way he announced he was going to support his family back home really bugged me because it had that 'too bad for you - don't care what you think' tone to it. 

[DangerousMinds]

I believe for most pre-nups to be valid the party that hasn't drafted it has to have independent legal counsel/representation

 

I think on the sly is the operative phrase.  I don't get the impression he is really all that into her, so I think for him, its great if he can avoid fights and keep the peace so he will try to keep it from her.  And he will really hide it for two years.  But I think Melanie & the sisters grimm are already suspicious so they will side eye everything he comes up with to try to hide how much he is sending home.  

 

I don't know, my parents are from another country...they came here and both did very well.  They have fought often over the years, but NEVER about money and I think part of that is that they actually keep separate accounts.  They are both very generous when they want to be, and the other doesn't really get mad because they don't feel like its taking money from them personally.

 

I feel like if Melanie really sat down and thought on it, she would realize that most of this is only about principle with her and it may not be a principle worth fighting over. Without the constant trips to Jamaica she will build up a nest egg in no time.  She is already paying a rent/mortgage and was doing so comfortably before Devar entered the picture.  Any support she gets from her ex for Hunter won't change.  If Devar had a separate account, she could charge for 1/2 the utilities/bills and rent if she wanted.  But even doing his very best,and handing her all his money, Devar may not make enough to contribute half anyways.  If his financial contribution was that important to her, I would think she would pick someone other than a resort employee.

 

If she is able to do fine financially, and his family is really in a position to need it whereas she doesn't I guess I don't see why she would fight this hard over it.  It would be another deal, to me at least, if she was really hurting for the money, or if she was in Dani's financial position.  People like Dani, really need the financial help a partner can bring.  I guess I don't see Mel in the same boat.  Is it really worth the fight?

I agree. If Devar were a wife instead of a husband, I don't think many would be commenting on his ability to or interest in earning money. Women still get a pass, IMHO that men do not.

[tallestcomedian]

The music leading up to Nikki arriving sounded like a funeral march. LOL TLC.

The music leading up to Nikki arriving sounded like a funeral march. LOL TLC.

Lol. It did. But I loved that music. Albeit, I WAS at a funeral that day, so... Anyone know where to find that music?

[3girlsforus]

I agree. If Devar were a wife instead of a husband, I don't think many would be commenting on his ability to or interest in earning money. Women still get a pass, IMHO that men do not.

 

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying here. I've never gotten the impression that Devar doesn't want to work. I thought the question was whether he would contribute that money to the household (Devar, Mel, and Hunter) or sent 90% of it to his family in Jamaica. 

 

I'm not being argumentative. I think I might have missed something. 

[RCharter]

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying here. I've never gotten the impression that Devar doesn't want to work. I thought the question was whether he would contribute that money to the household (Devar, Mel, and Hunter) or sent 90% of it to his family in Jamaica. 

 

I'm not being argumentative. I think I might have missed something. 

I'm not sure if the OP would agree, but I thought the point was that if Devar was a woman there may be less of a "well, you gotta get to work so you can contribute to the household"  or "if you're making money you have to give it to the household."  I think a lot of times the man is seen as the breadwinner and the woman's income is seen as secondary.  

 

Of course that attitude is changing rapidly as households rely on both incomes and as women start earning more money in the workplace, but there is still something of an assumption that a man is going to work and support his wife and child.  Because there is not always that assumption with women there wouldn't be the overriding question and concern about whether a woman sends money to her family back home.

 

But the OP could have had a completely different point is making the comment.

[3girlsforus]

I'm not sure if the OP would agree, but I thought the point was that if Devar was a woman there may be less of a "well, you gotta get to work so you can contribute to the household"  or "if you're making money you have to give it to the household."  I think a lot of times the man is seen as the breadwinner and the woman's income is seen as secondary.  

 

Of course that attitude is changing rapidly as households rely on both incomes and as women start earning more money in the workplace, but there is still something of an assumption that a man is going to work and support his wife and child.  Because there is not always that assumption with women there wouldn't be the overriding question and concern about whether a woman sends money to her family back home.

 

But the OP could have had a completely different point is making the comment.

 

Ahhh.... I guess it didn't occurs to me since I wouldn't feel differently if Devar was a woman. 

[RCharter]

Ahhh.... I guess it didn't occurs to me since I wouldn't feel differently if Devar was a woman. 

well I'm not sure if thats what the OP meant.  And I think that this way of thinking is becoming a thing of the past, but its still around.  Men are still sort of expected to work and contribute to the household no matter what.  

 

I'm certain you are more progressive, so you see men and woman as always being on equal footing, but I think that there is still an undercurrent of that old school mentality.

[IvySpice]

Josh is not in dental school. He is still in undergrad (and made dean's list for the spring of 2015, so congrats to Josh): http://meritpages.com/strobel

 

He had/has some kind of research job at the dental school, and his dad is a dentist, so he's probably aiming that way, but he has a long road in front of him supporting a wife and baby. He seems all too aware of the burdens he's taking on. On the other hand, Josh's college is in Omaha, Nebraska, which is not Prague by any means, but is a thrilling metropolis compared to Rexburg, Idaho.

 

I felt bad for Aleksandra this episode. I hope the immediate pregnancy is something that she wanted. Of course Mormon women can get educated and have careers...but it will be darn hard for her with a baby and an undergrad husband. I suppose Josh's parents are supporting them.

 

Re Loren and Alexei, WHOA, there was a lot of context filled in at the reunion, but it doesn't make me any more optimistic about this pair. Their values don't match. I respect Loren's concern that being a first responder is dangerous, but it didn't sound like she even understood why that career matters besides being in a firemen's calendar. Sheesh, girl, don't you even find it sexy that this is the kind of man who'd run into a burning building to save people? It's obviously his calling. If his ambition to do this work is not a reason why you love him, then you have a deep-seated conflict of values.

 

Noon. So sweet. Yay Noon.

Edited December 10, 2015 by IvySpice

[NikSac]

Mark, The Specimen is a vile piece of humanoid garbage that with every passing episode convinces me more and more that he hates women. Filipino women in particular. It is like ever since Nikki stepped foot in America he has steadily been withdrawing his affection. Nowadays, he seems like he can barely tolerate the sight of her. I sense no love or affection on his part. Yet I bet his ass will be like "she changed when she came to America" as soon as things go South, which they will.

 

<snip>

 

Dear Mark, You don't send your fiancee into a NY bridal boutique that you have to be buzzed into without a clear budget.

 

<snip>

 

I don't think Alexandra has a problem with living in a America, more of a problem of living in that one horse town. I bet if she was in a more cosmopolitan city like NYC, LA or Chicago her trepidations would be lessened.

 

I'm a little late replying, but I just watched the whole marathon the other day and man, I agree so much with everything in your post. I snipped out some stuff just to shorten it but these were the things I wanted to reply to. 

 

Especially this: "It is like ever since Nikki stepped foot in America he has steadily been withdrawing his affection."  - even Mark admitted that HE in fact has changed since she met him, so what the hell is his deal?  He's worried SHE is going to change?  (because, you know, his ex-wife changed)  That bridal shop incident made me so, so angry. I will be the first to agree with anyone who says bridal gowns are outrageously overpriced, but to send her into what seemed to be a fairly high end bridal shop in NYC with no idea of budget - and apparently no idea about the likely cost - then tell her that basically she wasn't worth it, was cruel IMO. It's been interesting for me to read here that some think she's using him as much as he's using her because I never got that vibe, but even if she is that was still cruel.

 

I completely agree about Aleksandra, too. Actually I've thought that about a number of the people who come over on this show. It's funny to me because the show kind of makes it seem like "America is America" when really, no. I'm in California and within a 2 hour drive in any direction I can find completely different types of people, lifestyles, cultures, etc.

[Toaster Strudel]

Why, Omaha is just like Prague, only with more drive-by shootings!

[DangerousMinds]

I'm not sure if the OP would agree, but I thought the point was that if Devar was a woman there may be less of a "well, you gotta get to work so you can contribute to the household"  or "if you're making money you have to give it to the household."  I think a lot of times the man is seen as the breadwinner and the woman's income is seen as secondary.  

 

Of course that attitude is changing rapidly as households rely on both incomes and as women start earning more money in the workplace, but there is still something of an assumption that a man is going to work and support his wife and child.  Because there is not always that assumption with women there wouldn't be the overriding question and concern about whether a woman sends money to her family back home.

 

But the OP could have had a completely different point is making the comment.

That is exactly what I meant, thank you.

[bravofan27]

One word for people who put down stay at home moms--> jealousy. 

[jujuebes]

One word for people who put down stay at home moms--> jealousy. 

Anyone that feels the need to insult someone over that deserves a foot to the face.

[Christina]

I'm reading Kyle's Twitter trying to find something, and it looks like they were in New York to film the tell all on Nov 8-9. I'm wondering when the nuptials took place. Aleksandria must have gotten pregnant pretty quickly, and Alexei may have still been upset because it was so soon. I don't actually care enough to go looking though. ; )

[petalfrog]

 

I found the body language of everyone on the reunion very interesting. All the women except Nikki and Carolina sat up very straight and confidently. Carolina clung to Fernando, but I think it had more to do with her being nervous and the language barrier. Josh seemed to shrink behind Aleksandra

I think Aleksandra was seated up so straight as to hide the baby bump before the big announcement. I noticed she seemed more relaxed and comfortable during the silly game.

[Kiss my mutt]

I have no problem with stay at home moms or dads ( I am one with 4 kids and I don't even homeschool!) if that is what they both want so I wouldn't care if Devar stayed home but Melanie might. I do think Devar will work if he can find suitable employment. I'm definitely less suspicious of him than I was. Probably because of Hunter.

And if someone said shit to me about being a sahm that's the last time I would be around that person.

[teapot100]

I still think Nikki's a grifter and that Mark has no idea what he's in for.

I used the same words when I was telling my mom about this couple, lol!

 

Really, Nikki is young to a point, but I think people are falling back on that Asian stereotype of a meek, subservient, controllable thing. I don't think that is Nikki at all - I haven't read any comments where people have observed her restrained (for now) strong-willedness. When she disagrees with Mark, hasn't anyone seen how angry she actually gets? She's holding back for now because she wants that green card, but when they've become more comfortable around each other, I don't think she's going to hold back at all.  Generalizing here, but Filipino women will do the work - cook, have sex, clean up after their naive American husbands.  But they (the husbands) are a way out to a better life for these women, eventually.  The Philippines is really a matriarchal society and Mark is unwittingly poised to relive what he went through with his first marriage (sans kids).

[Passthepopcorn]

I felt bad for Aleksandra this episode. I hope the immediate pregnancy is something that she wanted. Of course Mormon women can get educated and have careers...but it will be darn hard for her with a baby and an undergrad husband. I suppose Josh's parents are supporting them.

 

 

Re Loren and Alexei, WHOA, there was a lot of context filled in at the reunion, but it doesn't make me any more optimistic about this pair. Their values don't match. I respect Loren's concern that being a first responder is dangerous, but it didn't sound like she even understood why that career matters besides being in a firemen's calendar. Sheesh, girl, don't you even find it sexy that this is the kind of man who'd run into a burning building to save people? It's obviously his calling. If his ambition to do this work is not a reason why you love him, then you have a deep-seated conflict of values.

 

Well, Aleksandra  said "I'm only 21 and I'm going to get married, I'm too young to have a husband. This is horrible". So, even though I think she wanted to get married and seems to want stability in a relationship (like her parents' long marriage) it all happened so fast that it will take a long time to process everything that has happened to her that year: leaving a lifestyle, school, becoming mormon, getting married and having a baby.

Her Dad's blessing at the wedding was "I wish you an ocean of children", so maybe culturaly  she was more open to being a Mom than we think.

 

Alexi and Loren: agree 100%. To this day I don't know what values keep them together.

[Neurochick]

It really stood out for me how Mark complained about all the bells and whistles he'd constructed past dates around, roses, five star meals (sure, sure......)  blah, blah, blah. It was all about putting on a show, nothing about getting to know someone, find common values or interests and certainly nothing about having fun or finding someone with a shared sense of humour.  Even if I will myself to be blind about just how creepy Mark is in his proprietary attitude towards Nikki and women generally, he's distasteful because he's no damn fun. Holy crap, he's sour! Everything is a complaint and when he says something positive it's about how he got something over on someone he thought might be trying the same. He just wants someone to follow instructions, spread her legs and smile at him. He strikes me as being acutely aware that the marriage was a transaction,  which is the only kind of romantic relationship he understands, but wanting to get as many rebates as possible because he's so damn cheap. He seems to dislike Nikki for being exactly what he wanted.

 

I wish this show was "on demand" (Time Warner's fucking around this week) so I could watch it again.   From what I saw, Mark is REAL, REAL old school.  He's from a time when men felt they only needed to protect and provide for their wives.  It was a time when men had their lives and women had theirs.  See, to Mark, providing for their wife is love.  And to some people, that is love, but the problem with Mark is he doesn't seem to want Nikki to have her own life.  I mean what does she do all day?  Does she go to school?  Does she have friends or is she at Mark's beck and call all day?  

 

I did laugh at how he described the people who disagree with him on social media because it showed how out of touch he is.  It's an old stereotype that women who were always online were fat, spinster cat ladies but these days people of all ages are on social media.  

 

I also laughed at Loren's expressions when she looked at Mark, her face said, "you're a disgusting pig," whenever she looked at him, it was great.  

 

That beach wedding between Mark and Nikki looked set up for the show, hopefully they got married in a nicer place.

[3girlsforus]

That is exactly what I meant, thank you.

 

Thanks for the clarification. I do think the double standard of not having the same expectation of women is going away.  Nikki has been getting grief for not having a long term plan and she's only 20. Lots of 20 year olds don't haven't decided on education or career yet.

 

That said, I do think Devar plans to work. If he and Mel decided that he shouldn't and instead take care of Hunter or do something else then fine.  It's their business. My problem is that his decision that he was sending most of the money back to his family in Jamaica sounded more like a  declaration rather than something he and Mel discussed. If they decide together to do that, then great. But I don't care if he's a man or a woman, something like that needs to be discussed as a couple.

[KariLois]

I get the feeling that Mark fancies himself like the Phantom of the Opera. He thinks he is this sex god who can carry the young maiden away and keep her for himself. He referred to Nikki as his "songbird" and he has some musical talent. Am I the only one who has noticed this? Do I need to take myself to the prayer closet?

[Drogo]

 

I can see that, KariLois.  But I don't think Nikki's music is what he's interested in, shudder. 

[KariLois]

Oh, me neither!

[Cherrio]

For two reasons I do not think Mark has any musical talent. One, because he would of been playing the piano constantly on the show. Second, because he is Mark and someone like him has no ability to possess any talent whatsoever except for being a world class asshole.

       If he can pick out a tune with one finger, it would be "Feelings".

 

To go back to his 100 plus first dates all being disasters, what he effectively did by being on the show was to have a million or more first dates with viewers who all detest him.   Millions more disasters Mark !      

[RCharter]

For two reasons I do not think Mark has any musical talent. One, because he would of been playing the piano constantly on the show. Second, because he is Mark and someone like him has no ability to possess any talent whatsoever except for being a world class asshole.

       If he can pick out a tune with one finger, it would be "Feelings".

 

To go back to his 100 plus first dates all being disasters, what he effectively did by being on the show was to have a million or more first dates with viewers who all detest him.   Millions more disasters Mark !      

well, we didn't get 2 dozen roses and 5 star dining so it wasn't the true Mark experience.  But, you can't woo all of America at once, right Mark?  And besides, he didn't want all us fat, ugly, bitter women to get all jealous because we can't have a specimen like him.

[Cherrio]

well, we didn't get 2 dozen roses and 5 star dining so it wasn't the true Mark experience.  But, you can't woo all of America at once, right Mark?  And besides, he didn't want all us fat, ugly, bitter women to get all jealous because we can't have a specimen like him.

He did think (delusional) he could woo America. In his scary mind he is the perfect man.   When a man is that insecure, inadequate and cringe worthy there is no where else to go but for (off the) Mark to label us all.

 The joke is still on him though, because not even the 600 lb., cat hoarding, jealous women would want him.    

Edited December 10, 2015 by Cherrio

[RCharter]

He did think (delusional) he could woo America. In his scary mind he is the perfect man.   When a man is that insecure, inadequate and cringe worthy there is no where else to go but for (off the) Mark but to label us all.

 The joke is still on him though, because not even the 600 lb., cat hoarding, jealous women would want him.    

exactly.  They would prefer the company of cats, because even a cat makes for better conversation.

[Toaster Strudel]

Maybe 4-star cuisine, a dozen roses AND a piano concerto would have done the trick!  Go broke or go home!

[cooksdelight]

My sister, who has never seen this show, came to my house today and she watched these two episodes. Her comments:

Devar and Melanie : "First time it snows, he'll be begging for a vacation in Florida. What in the hell are those tattoos? (Bev) Is that Mickey Mouse? Did she have that done when she was a teenager?"

Fernando and Carolina: "I hate to mention his weight, but she is so tiny.... oh my my... Look at that dog dressed up for a wedding!"

Kyle and Noon: "Why did they have to bring his mother on this show? (the reunion clips) That's downright cruel and he looks like he wishes he could crawl under a rock."

Loren and Alexei: "OMG, can we say high maintenence? Look at the pink beanie-things! She likes pink, I take it? I bet if we showed her our aunt's pink kitchen, that chick would want one."

Josh and Aleksandra: "Cute couple, but he looks like Hillary Swank."

Mark and Nikki: "What a controlling asshole! What she needs to do, is everytime he gives her money for something squirrel some of it away until she had enough for a bus ticket to the airport. Use his credit card to buy the ticket back home. Give him some knockout drops so he's asleep all day while she makes her great escape. Telling a child that she cannot have children or making her sign a prenup.... that's just wrong. She's a kid, she has no idea what she's giving up."

[RCharter]

^^why isn't your sister snarking with us????