S01.E03: Chainsaw

[Cranberry]

Chanel finds a new project in Hester, Chanel #3 confesses a secret and Grace and Zayday uncover a surprising connection between two fellow students. Meanwhile, Denise sets her sights on one of the Kappas, and Dean Munsch appoints a new Wallace University mascot as Chad and Earl Grey lead the fraternity on a witch hunt for the Red Devil.

 

[tom87]

That promo seems more a season promo than an episode promo.

[BloggerAloud]

Most of the dialogue/actions on this show often makes me wonder if Ryan and the writers have actually met a woman before.

[rustyspigot]

The show has had decent ending scenes so far, but there is a whole lot of stupid shit mixed into the other parts of the show.

 

Lots of "Heathers" references delivered stupidly. The show is stupid. I still haven't figured out if I hate this show yet.

 

"Coney" had a pointless two scene story arc.  

 

So is Chanel 2 going to be "Weekend at Chanel 2's".

 

Chanel #5 continues to be pointless.

Edited September 30, 2015 by rustyspigot

[jhnlpz]

I'm adding "Cocaine or Dildo" to my game night repertoire.

 

Seriously, I thought I was inured to outrageous dialogue after four seasons of American Horror Story, and I am thrilled that I can still be scandalized.

[JBC344]

I have to say I wasn't completely sold on last weeks episodes but I have to say that tonight's episode was way more cohesive.  I felt like I at least am getting more of the supposed tone.

 

I actually liked the character of Chad in this one.  Previous episodes I felt like he was way to broad.  This episode I felt they got the correct balance.

 

Big shout out to the music.  Bone Thugs in Harmony during the rally and The Backstreet Boys during Chad's fraternity fight, complete in matching outfits.

 

Niecy Nash continues to shine.

[BloggerAloud]

The "Coney" storyline didn't even make sense within the context of the episode. They introduce Coney and show him getting a total MEH reaction from the students. The next scene with him, he's apparently able to walk around and grope female students who are happy to have it happen because he's Coney and he's now suddenly popular within like a twenty four hour period of time.

 

And there were several moments where I was trying to figure out if Keke Palmer and Niecy Nash were trying to out "Sassy Black Woman" each other.

[ShowStopper]

I enjoyed this episode more than last week's. Mainly because it wasn't 2 hours. I'm also curious how the podcasters from "You're Damn Right" are going to receive this episode.

[SeanC]

Not that Lea Michele isn't gorgeous, but I rather liked the "neckbrace" look, so I hope that's not gone for good; the character is less distinctive without it.  Though her performance as Hester reminds me how much I enjoyed the comic energy she had in the first season of Glee, before all the life was sucked out of Rachel.

[BloggerAloud]

 

Lots of "Heathers" references delivered stupidly.

 

The show using "Que Sera Sera" for basically no other reason other than to get a "Hey! That's from Heathers" response from the audience was beyond lazy.

[mustbekarma]

... The Backstreet Boys during Chad's fraternity fight, complete in matching outfits.

 

The golf team destroying property with baseball bats while wearing those :pristine" white outfits with The Backstreet Boys singing in the background-that was priceless. I laughed so much during that scene. Don't bring baseball bats to a chainsaw fight, guys.

 

I actually like they're not hiding the fact that there's two killers. At this rate, there's going to be half a dozen. Having two killers keeps the mystery alive, except for Boone. It's obvious he's one of the killers.

 

Hester worshiping Chanel is just hysterical. That obsession doesn't bode well for Chanel.

 

I'm still having fun with this, and I think a drinking game could be started for how many times Chad breaks up with Chanel in an episode.

Edited September 30, 2015 by mustbekarma

[WhosThatGirl]

This show. I'm laughing sometimes but it's like more of "what the hell is happening here...? No, I mean, what is going on? Why are the Backstreet boys playing while the frat guys are  being killed. I have no idea what I'm watching" and then I wonder if this is a show I should be watching while I'm drunk or something. 

 

Look Lea Michele is very pretty. We all know this (even though Glee was constantly trying for the first 2  and a half seasons to act like she wasn't) but I preferred her character with the neck brace because it's a funny anecdote for the character.

 

This show is a mixed bag. I still don't know what it is but right now it's like cotton candy and so far I'm enjoying the sugar high. 

[tom87]

Now I'm hooked just to see how many homages and how silly it can get.

 

All white outfits with bats ala Clockwork Orange??.

 

I thought the Que Sera, Sera was also used due the mother aspect of Hester with Chanel.

 

Anyway Hester, Denise and Chad remain my favorites.    Grace and Peter still bore. 

 

I wish Hester could have stayed Hester dressed longer too.  But they didn't  seem to take away her quirks so that a plus.

Edited September 30, 2015 by tom87

[Free]

The show has had decent ending scenes so far, but there is a whole lot of stupid shit mixed into the other parts of the show.

 

This show is a mixed bag. I still don't know what it is but right now it's like cotton candy and so far I'm enjoying the sugar high.

 

Definitely, it's very hit or miss for me, no in between.  Scenes are either really funny or downright cringeworthy.

[Chrissytd]

Denise/Niecy Nash continues to be my favorite part.

The British frat guy is a cutie.

The "Coney" storyline didn't even make sense within the context of the episode. They introduce Coney and show him getting a total MEH reaction from the students. The next scene with him, he's apparently able to walk around and grope female students who are happy to have it happen because he's Coney and he's now suddenly popular within like a twenty four hour period of time.

 

And there were several moments where I was trying to figure out if Keke Palmer and Niecy Nash were trying to out "Sassy Black Woman" each other.

Yeah, the Coney thing mad no sense. Also, what was the point of Red Devil killing him?

[WhosThatGirl]

I wonder if this show is going to have various different mascots each episode. That all end up being killed. That might actually be funny.

Edited September 30, 2015 by WhosThatGirl

[tom87]

Denise/Niecy Nash continues to be my favorite part.

The British frat guy is a cutie.

Yeah, the Coney thing mad no sense. Also, what was the point of Red Devil killing him?

What has been the point of the Red Devil killing anyone so far?

I wonder if this show is going to have various different mascots each episode. That all end up being killed. That might actually be funny.

Yeah I figures he killed him just becasue he was a mascot and took his  place.

[Zanne]

The golf team destroying property with baseball bats while wearing those :pristine" white outfits with The Backstreet Boys singing in the background-that was priceless. I laughed so much during that scene. Don't bring baseball bats to a chainsaw fight, guys.

 

 

I was disappointed they didn't bring their golf clubs to the chainsaw fight!

[mercurius]

Wow. There is no tonal consistency at all. Not just between different scenes, which would be jarring enough, but within them. Nevermind the problems with portraying academia -- Oliver Hudson says he's a professor and gets hired to teach a class outside his field by a dean whose conduct is inappropriate, not to mention creepy -- but then there's the whole starting class seriously after a confrontation with my daughter, and now let's show the entire film Texas Chain Saw Massacre where no one has a scheduling conflict and the whole class just stayed there stunned and wooden. That's just confusing. And the road trip to Chanel's house, where it first seemed the humor was to be the guard's asking whether the daughter is hiding in the large house and no one found her but the parent's seemed to play it straight...until the parents decided to take everyone to see the thank-you note from the wonderful guy who was helping the daughter... and when read aloud the thank you note is giving -- at length, and in detail, and repeatedly -- thanks for banging the daughter. Wft?

 

It's not unsual to be dramatically over-the-top, self-referential, and funny. The source material for this very show did that well. This is a chaotic mess. It's like a bunch of writers were tasked to write dialogue and action which were then spliced together with a roll of the dice. In reading the comments apparently this is characteristic of a Ryan Murphy show? I don't understand if this becomes an acquired taste or if you either like it or not, so I don't know whether to tune in again.

[Free]

What has been the point of the Red Devil killing anyone so far?

 

I'm thinking possibly multiple killers, hence the random killings and missing bodies (if some of them stay dead).

Edited September 30, 2015 by Free

[GaT]

The golf team destroying property with baseball bats while wearing those :pristine" white outfits with The Backstreet Boys singing in the background-that was priceless. I laughed so much during that scene. Don't bring baseball bats to a chainsaw fight, guys.

That was my favorite part tonight. The rest, not so much.

[Bedlampuhedron]

Wow. There is no tonal consistency at all. Not just between different scenes, which would be jarring enough, but within them. Nevermind the problems with portraying academia -- Oliver Hudson says he's a professor and gets hired to teach a class outside his field by a dean whose conduct is inappropriate, not to mention creepy -- but then there's the whole starting class seriously after a confrontation with my daughter, and now let's show the entire film Texas Chain Saw Massacre where no one has a scheduling conflict and the whole class just stayed there stunned and wooden.

I completely agree with you about the tonal inconsistency of this show, as you put it, and all of the unrealistic and nonsensical stuff that happens on it. I'm pretty sure I hate this show and won't be watching for too much longer.

I will say though, about showing the movie in class, that I had several classes in college that were 2 or even 3 hours long, depending on how many times they'd meet per week. It's kind of a fanwank but yeah.

It's not unsual to be dramatically over-the-top, self-referential, and funny. The source material for this very show did that well. This is a chaotic mess. It's like a bunch of writers were tasked to write dialogue and action which were then spliced together with a roll of the dice. In reading the comments apparently this is characteristic of a Ryan Murphy show? I don't understand if this becomes an acquired taste or if you either like it or not, so I don't know whether to tune in again.

I've never seen Glee, it's not my kind of thing, but American Horror Story is a MUCH better show than this one.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Bedlampuhedron

[Anela]

I've started to watch Glee, and I like it so far.

 

I mostly liked tonight's episode. I don't catch all of the references to other shows or movies, because I either haven't seen them, or it's been well over twenty years since I did. I barely remember anything about Heathers, so anything taken from that, I'm not catching. 

[skotnikov]

Wow. There is no tonal consistency at all. Not just between different scenes, which would be jarring enough, but within them. Nevermind the problems with portraying academia -- Oliver Hudson says he's a professor and gets hired to teach a class outside his field by a dean whose conduct is inappropriate, not to mention creepy -- 

 

Well, literature academics are trained to teach film analysis classes it's usually a part of their profile, it's totally ok. The thing is that you will never get such a job that easy, because there are like hundreds of candidates for one position nowadays.     

Edited September 30, 2015 by skotnikov

[darkestboy]

I thought the third episode was pretty awful. Kind of wanted to switch off halfway through.

 

The show needs to tone the comedy aspects in a big way. Getting rid of Denise and Breslin's Chanel might help a little in that respect.

 

Chanel 3 I kind of liked a little more in this one but the actress is a bit too monotone at times.

 

Hester's fixation with Chanel is amusing and creepy and one of the few more successful plot strands. I might have held off the makeover for another episode.

 

It was nice to see Chad and his group try to take on Red Devil. Of course it went as badly as expected.

 

Don't mind Gigi and Wes but Cathy is basically Sue Sylvester 2.0. Grace and Peter were okay in this one, 5/10

[Primetimer]

After a fun start, American Horror Story: Glee! falls into a second-episode rut, with not enough blood and way too many shirts.

Read the story

[obxchick]

Funniest moments for me: Denise discussing the use of Luminol to detect horseradish on her Arby's sandwiches, and Zayday keeping a chainsaw (that her grandma sent!) under her bed for protection. Oh, and the red devil cutting off frat boy's arms, then picking up the arm holding the bat and hitting him with it? So gross, yet so funny.

Agreed with others that Abigail Breslin just seems miscast. So far I'm just not feeling her character. And did I hear it wrong or did they say someone has been posting from Chanel #2's instagram account? Hoping they don't pull a Boone with that character, too.

Edited September 30, 2015 by obxchick

[BaseOps]

Well, I love this show. It's stupid as hell and awesomely funny. I tend to watch darker dramas, so this fun, high-camp, mindless comedy is a really nice change of pace. I crack up every time Niecy Nash is on the screen, and I loved the reveal that Channel #3 is Charles Manson's daughter. The BSB death scene was ridiculous and awesome, and I even laughed at the Dean's white noise machine. If you accept it for what it is (a farce with 0 logic and a warped mind) then you'll probably enjoy it more. 

Also, aside from the odd episode of Glee (which I hated with a fiery passion) I've never seen Lea Michele in anything. I thought she'd annoy me to death, but I find her absolutely hilarious here. Kind of sad her neck brace is gone already. 

Edited September 30, 2015 by BaseOps

[adam807]

IMPORTANT CORRECTION: Coney struts around campus to Wham!'s "I'm Your Man" prior to the "Que Sera Sera" scene. We regret the musical error. https://twitter.com/Scamandalous/status/649228381498777600

Edited September 30, 2015 by adam807

[Whitley Trillbert]

This show is bananas.

I can't even believe some of the dialogue they get away with on network. Hearing a girl (Little Miss Sunshine no less...) talk about getting spit roasted and Eiffel towered

Coney was great.

[marcee]

I'm not sure why anyone would try to analyze this show based on how none of it makes sense. Of course it doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to make sense. Trying to apply rational thought or expect people to act the way they're 'supposed to' is going to leave you sorely disappointed. This is fun! This is camp! It's hilarious. No one is going to respond to a chainsaw-wielding red devil-dressing serial killer the way one would respond in real life because this isn't real life. It's ridiculous. Which is what makes it so great. Of course the dean is inappropriate. Of course girls would be totally okay with hiding dead bodies. Of course a girl would be texting her desperate pleas to the killer instead of screaming or running away. That's the whole point. If you're going to try to compare this show to real life, don't bother watching, you won't enjoy it.

 

I, on the other hand, am getting a huge kick out of this show. "Oh your grandma sent it to you? Oh ok. I'll uncuff you now, but I'll be watching you." Denise is great, but Chad is still my favorite. And I can't wait for more Boone. <3

[sugarbaker design]

I did love Zayday practicing her chainsaw defense!

[Whitley Trillbert]

I'm kinda hoping ZayDay's grandmother makes an appearance played by Patti Labelle since she's in the Ryan Murphy family.  

[Bort]

I'm not sure why anyone would try to analyze this show based on how none of it makes sense. Of course it doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to make sense. Trying to apply rational thought or expect people to act the way they're 'supposed to' is going to leave you sorely disappointed. This is fun! This is camp! It's hilarious. No one is going to respond to a chainsaw-wielding red devil-dressing serial killer the way one would respond in real life because this isn't real life. It's ridiculous. Which is what makes it so great. Of course the dean is inappropriate. Of course girls would be totally okay with hiding dead bodies. Of course a girl would be texting her desperate pleas to the killer instead of screaming or running away. That's the whole point. If you're going to try to compare this show to real life, don't bother watching, you won't enjoy it.

I don't expect camp to be realistic but I would like it to make sense. Xena: Warrior Princess did lots of camp episodes and they were weird and way out of left field but they still made sense. This show is like someone took a bunch of crap, put it in a blender and tried to convince me it was strawberries.

[peacheslatour]

 

I'm not sure why anyone would try to analyze this show based on how none of it makes sense. Of course it doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to make sense.

Well put.

[sugarbaker design]

I'm loving it right now.  I believe the writers are taking the mystery seriously, it's already better than MTV's Scream.  I'm loving the highly stylized comic sensibility, it's like American Horror Story Light.

 

Right now, it looks like Boone is working with the killer, who at this point could still be anybody.  I'm partial to Gigi, she's stuck in the 90's, I believe she's one of those girls in the flashback scenes.  That was Boone who was trying to "kill" her to give her an alibi.

 

Any show that features Stacy Q's "Two of Hearts" is a winner in my book.

[Febgirl]

Someone on staff has a really great thesaurus because I don't think I've heard that many different variants of words used to describe female anatomy on one hour of TV in a long time.( Trim, Box, Gash...)  While a lot of folks got the Heather's vibe last night, that makeover scene was straight out of Jawbreaker, which I think is a superior "mean girls" type movie. 

Niecey Nash's sleuthing monologue had me in tears, and the Backstreet boys beat down that didn't happen was just great.

 

Prediction, 

Boone is the baby and Gigi is the Red Devil.

[runforcover]

This show is too resentful to be camp. OK so I DONT KNOW what camp technically is but I feel like this show hates me more than it should.  All the vagina references ... Ugh, I don't know. I'm not buying it.  Right? Because I watch stuff.  I buy stuff. I have been alive on the planet for too long to not know better. Guys, no, Ryan Murphy is not on your side.  This hurts me more than it hurts you.  I rooted for Popular and I still do.

 

[WhosThatGirl]

I get that this this is camp and is meant to be ridiculous but at times, this show just needs to stop. I can;t explain it. It's just.. trying very hard like, "LOOK, IT'S SO STUPID THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LAUGH, HA HA HA" and for most of the characters, I'm just like, "so when will the killer arrive and kill them?" most of them grate and I know, I know it's all camp so of course the characters are going to grate but, I think they should probably be one I like and hope doesn't get killed. But there really isn't.

 

I do however like that I can watch this show and then not worry too much if I missed a scene or two because it doesn't really matter and that even if I'm a bit invested in the plot, there's a chance it will probably change two seconds later. Nothing really matters too much with this show so unlike my other shows where I wonder what's going to happen next, this one is more like mindless fun. Which is why I'm calling it cotton candy. 

[Atony]

Having caught up with this show I am now realizing it is supposed to be a live action cartoon.  If this was animated you could see it on Adult Swim or Comedy Central or something, just silly and demented.

 

So I will try to only judge it by "Does it entertain me?"  so far it does enough.  I thought the pilot was way too forced( that coffee scene), but the recent episode had some bits that made me laugh (ice cream cone fight, backstreet boys fight, white noise generator).

 

The problem is I don't know how much thought to put into this whole killer/killers mystery.  Boone's death was ruled a suicide?  Given he was alive and just got up and walked out that speaks of a big cover up.  Or maybe it just doesn't matter.

 

The guy the plays Chad, Lea Michele and Niecy Nash I guess are working the best for me so far.  They seem to "get" this show and actually make me laugh.

Edited September 30, 2015 by Atony

[Atlanta]

I don't expect camp to be realistic but I would like it to make sense. Xena: Warrior Princess did lots of camp episodes and they were weird and way out of left field but they still made sense. This show is like someone took a bunch of crap, put it in a blender and tried to convince me it was strawberries.

That's the way I feel. It has to make sense in the universe of the show. Here it seems that the writers went through a bunch of cult classic 'mean girl' movies and are dying (pun intended) to drop in references in each episode. 

 

I loved Hester's makeover, but I'm a sucker for makeover shows. It could be home makeovers, beauty makeovers, etc. I don't care. :D 

 

I'm assuming this school is in the LA area since they were easily able to drive to Chanel 2's Bel Air house and the way the parents talked, it was easy for her to come home and visit.

[DollEyes]

  Another fun one. Definitely better than last week. Being an RM show, I'm pretty sure that it'll start sucking way sooner than later, so I'll just enjoy it while it lasts. Emma Roberts' Chanel #1 showed more depth than last week, but it's for selfish reasons, whether it's wanting Chad back because she doesn't want to be alone and with at least one RDK on the loose, in fairness, that's understandable or giving Hester an extreme makeover after catching her in her ginormous closet and turning her into Chanel #6 in order to look generous to Dean Munsch in an attempt to convince her to keep the sorority house open, in hopes that it'll convince Chad to get back together and be monogamous, although there's about as much chance of either as there is of Donald Trump becoming the next Pope. Speaking of Chad, he's been a very busy douchebag, what with either screwing or trying to screw every piece of hot ass that turns him on, including the Chanels, particularly the late Chanel #2, whom Chad seemed serious about, at least by Chad's standards, hence his fling with her last Thanksgiving at her asshole parents' mansion. Then there was Chad's plan to flush out RDK by having him and his fellow Dapper Dollar bros get drunk and roided up so that they could kick the killer's ass, which not only backfire don several levels, leading to yet another murder in the process, Chad almost got himself killed. That being said, I still like Chad. He not only owns his douchiness, he's hilarious. I just think that beneath all that douchebaggery, Chad's a pretty good guy, or at least he thinks he is.

 

  Re Grace, Pete & Zayday, their murder investigation had its highs and lows, the highs being that there's actual movement in the plotline and lows-well, one of them-being Denise's considering Zayday a prime suspect because of circumstantial evidence, which any halfway decent defense attorney or L & O fan could destroy in court in a heartbeat. Not even dean Munsch would go for that. Dean Munsch may be ruthless, self-absorbed and more than a little batshit crazy, which is to be expected of someone who finds falling asleep to the dulcet tones of slasher movies soothing, not to mention replacing the Red Devil mascot with an ice-cream cone (RIP, Coney), but I don't think that she would want to deal with a potential lawsuit by a woman of color for being accused of being a serial killer based on half-assed conspiracy theories.  Re Wes, Grace's dad, yikes! Loving grace and wanting to protect her is understandable, especially now, but getting a job not only teaching at her school but teaching one of her classes is too wrong on too many levels, much like considering the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre the greatest film of all time. What next-calling Deep Throat a rom com? However, Wes & Gigi are cute together. The more time Wes spends with Gigi, the less time he'll have to embarrass Grace, publically or otherwise-unless Wes turns out to be one of the RDKs, which would humiliate grace, to put it mildly.

[Bort]

considering the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre the greatest film of all time. What next-calling Deep Throat a rom com?

That line by Grace's dad about Texas Chainsaw Massacre was taken almost verbatim from a movie called Summer School.

[caracas1914]

So I guess the plan is to introduce a new character that is offed by the end of the episode, aka the soft serve mascot and the Dickie Dollar frat boys?

The problem with not being invested in any of the younger characters is that if they are all disposble because it all falls under "camp" is that in an ongoing series, not a movie, you still have to have some anchor lead characters that are interesting. Over the top characters usually have to be supporting because they can't carry a show, and the nominal leads, aka Chanel, Grace and Peter are not that compelling.

JLC's Dean is just odd, she isn't quite a voice of reason nor is she a full out caricature, but seems to switch from scene to scene per the whims of the plot.

Even Chad, who I found funny the first time is wearing a little thin now.

[Chaos Theory]

I still say this is my favorite new show. Yes tonal issues but not really a problem for me. I thought everything worked from Coney walking through the Quad only to end up getting slashed to Professordad in a college with a serial killer running around showing the Texas Chain Shaw Massacre. From Dean Munch and her white noise machine to Chad and his frat hunting the Red Devil wearing a white sweater and carrying baseball bats with "Backstreet Back AllRight". Playing in background. Added bonus Charisma Carpenter!!!!

Edited September 30, 2015 by Chaos Theory

[marcee]

Maybe the issue is the definition of camp? Some people see it as style or theme - or maybe just the look of it? Which.. yeah, those apply. But I'm seeing it more as the ridiculous exaggeration of character traits. Sorority girls into fashion and popularity... in this world, that stuff matters way more than death or dismemberment. Frat guy has a lot of sex? Yes... A LOT OF SEX. Nerdy girl dying to be "in" is willing to help cover up a murder. Overprotective dad is wayyy overprotective. Crazy ambitious dean is actually crazy. And it's also making fun of the genre. When you watch a "real" horror movie, don't you ask yourself some of the obvious questions like "Why isn't she running?" or "How can the police be so incompetent?" -- this is the exaggerated version of that. It's over-the-top, but that's what makes it great! YMMV.

[Chrissytd]

Did none of the pledges realize that Chanel said "two Chanels are dead" when bring Hester down the stairs?

What has been the point of the Red Devil killing anyone so far?

I know that but the reason will probably revealed somewhere along the line. All those killed thus far have had some affiliation with the KKT. IMO, it just seem like a waste.

[ClareWalks]

Re: Chanel #2 still posting on Instagram, I had the feeling that the shot of her "relaxing by the pool" was just her dead body plopped on a lounge chair and the killer snapped it and uploaded. "She doesn't even look cute!" Yeah, because she's probably rotting. Just a guess!

 

I also think the "two Chanels are dead" was referring to #2 and #4 (who we never met, she died before the series started).

Edited September 30, 2015 by ClareWalks

[morgankobi]

I laughed once and that was how the Backstreet Boys song lined up with the attack. Right after the one frat brother's first arm was cut off the line, "raise your hands (or similar, sorry BSB was never my thing)" was heard.

[iMonrey]

 

Wow. There is no tonal consistency at all. Not just between different scenes, which would be jarring enough, but within them. Nevermind the problems with portraying academia -- Oliver Hudson says he's a professor and gets hired to teach a class outside his field by a dean whose conduct is inappropriate, not to mention creepy --

 

Agreed. There are moments when I enjoy the show but it's horribly hit or miss and often it feels like either there were too many proverbial fingers in the pie writing this show, or else a complete lack of determination in what the show should be about. It's not quite consistently funny enough to be parody and not quite scary enough to be horror. The Scary Movies franchise has already cornered the market on slasher movie parody so this show is probably trying to avoid copying those movies, but can't quite settle on a tone. It's kind of a mess.