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Josh & Aleksandra: The Missionary Position


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I think the producers just ran with that go go dancer thing...she was not a stripper or anything like that. Probably just a party animal - lots of those in Europe. 

 

I agree with this completely. The rest, not at all.

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I think it wouldn't be so bad if they moved outside of Rexburg and away from his family. There's nothing appealing about growing up and dying in the same small town. I see no reason why they can't move to a bigger city. There are Mormons in large cities. Just because temptation is around doesn't mean you'll be weak and fall prey to it. I'd lose it if I were her.

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Aleksandra is just cute as a button. I hate that she is so unhappy, for something as simple as dancing. I can't imagine going from Prague to that tiny town. What does Josh do for a living? Is he still in college? I wonder what he is planning to do for a career.

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I was just looking at where Rexburg is on Google Maps. They're not really close to any major city that could keep her interest. Lots of wide open spaces and Mormon meccas. Idaho Falls could work in the short term if he's willing to compromise. While I think you can have fun without drinking & doing other "sinful" things, you also have to function in society. You can go clubbing without drinking. I'm a former partier myself but definitely no Mormon convert.

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I will be shocked if Aleksandra remains Mormon for very long. She seems like she was searching for something, and a Mormon missionary happened to pop up at the right time, so she went with it, but I don't get a sense of true conversion from her. She strikes me as very young and lost.

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I think they both seem sweet, and I hope it's just that the notoriously lame TLC producers are just whispering in Aleksandra's ear each episode that she needs to remind everyone of her general "badness" for that most damming of all sins--dancing energetically to pop music. 

 

Every time I see Josh onscreen, I get flashbacks of Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This resemblance to me in no way is meant to throw shade on his sexuality or supposed heteronormative/hegemonic feminine traits (all men have "feminine" traits to varying degrees, and it's nothing to be ashamed of); it's just that I see such a strong resemblance! I think it's the mouth, but possibly the eyes as well. 

 

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Josh just has that very light, soft, measured way of speaking. Very different from many other young people. Like, I can't imagine him yelling or raising his voice.

 

He also seems very sheltered despite spending two years in one of Europe's most vibrant cities.

  • Love 4
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I don't know a lot about the Mormon religion so I apologize, but do all males go on a mission? Can they choose where they go or are they just sent? Josh, and Alan from season 1, just seem so sheltered. How can you go to places like Prague and Brazil and not understand anything that happens outside your front door? It doesn't make sense.

 

I understand religion and faith are a very personal thing and no one should judge anyone else based on that. But I don't understand people like Josh's parents who use their religion to judge other people so harshly. Aleksandra is going to be their daughter in law. You would think they would cut her some slack. Just because their religion prohibits alcohol doesn't make every person who has ever had a drink a bad person. 

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The Mormons that I went to high school with who went on missionary trips were assigned to their locations, not given choices. And some are more sheltered than others. LDS is a pretty isolating, sheltering religion due to its beliefs about drinking, etc. and so Mormons tend to stick to family-friendly activities and other Mormons and it creates a sheltered environment.

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Thanks to some hilarious poster, I can't un-see Hilary Swank every time Josh appears. And his voice reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine called her friend's house and accidentally talked to her friend's girly voiced husband.

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I don't know if he's gay.   It just seems there's something else going on behind his face.   It's his expressions, that sort of sideways thing he does with his eyes when he smiles, and that the smile always seems fake.   The whispery voice doesn't help matters.   I half expect him to show up on Investigation Discovery sometime in the future.

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I don't know if he's gay.   It just seems there's something else going on behind his face.   It's his expressions, that sort of sideways thing he does with his eyes when he smiles, and that the smile always seems fake.   The whispery voice doesn't help matters.   I half expect him to show up on Investigation Discovery sometime in the future.

swamp murders? deadly women? deadly affairs? snapped: women who kill? who the hell did i marry? scorned: love kills?  southern fried homicide?

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Well they are sweet....I wish them well. Hope getting out of Rexberg helps

 

Not sure of future - I always feel sadness and "guilt" around her - like maybe her first love dumped her badly?

 

Him....well gaydar flashing....I hope he is good to her. As a dentist he should be able to support her nicely

 

as others have said - LDS has lot of ballroom dancers...to Alexandria "I hope you dance"

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Alexandra is an excellent dancer.  It really seems to be her passion; I find it very strange that a Mormon can come to her country and so easily convince her that by dancing in night clubs she did very "bad" things.  Her parents were very oddly passive IMO.  That bothered me because I feel that they could have steered Alexandra in a better direction, but by being so quiet and passive they've let their daughter make an odd choice in a husband.  Maybe they are just thankful their daughter found a decent guy from the west.  I don't know, but I wish they would have defended their culture a little more.

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I don't think it was the dancing they objected to.  I think it was her clubbing every night, with alcohol, and her choice of clothing.  The only religious people I know of that vehemently object to dancing are fundamentalists (like the Duggars).

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What is confusing to me about Aleksandra is that her parents seem so nice and normal and supportive, and not at all like the kind who would make their daughter feel ashamed for dancing and drinking. Where did the "I was a bad person" thing come from???

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I like both of them. She is very sweet, full of life. He is a spiritual, gentle, soft spoken young man (gay was not my first thought).

I think that he came to her life at a point when she realized that clubbing and drinking every night was not ok anymore and needed a change. Now, there is a whole range of things she could have done, a lot of gray between that life and going Mormon. I think that was too extreme and not sure if it will last. 

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Where did the "I was a bad person" thing come from???

 

Josh.  At least, that's my suspicion.  I've always gotten this underlying sense that he kind of "shamed her" into converting to Mormonism.  I know they literally met on the street, he clearly thought she was pretty and struck up a conversation.  At some point he probably started getting an idea of what her interests were and that she was doing these "bad things," and I think he kind of sold her on the whole, "You can change, you don't have to be a bad person for the rest of your life, convert to Mormonism and you'll be forgiven of your sins," kinda thing.

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I don't think so. Maybe she can't express nuance, but there's no real difference from how you would say it in Russian and it's pretty basic stuff, language-wise. It sounds like she just thinks she was "bad." Or maybe she is just saying it like that to show his parents that she has given up her non-Mormon ways for real.

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Josh.  At least, that's my suspicion.  I've always gotten this underlying sense that he kind of "shamed her" into converting to Mormonism.  I know they literally met on the street, he clearly thought she was pretty and struck up a conversation.  At some point he probably started getting an idea of what her interests were and that she was doing these "bad things," and I think he kind of sold her on the whole, "You can change, you don't have to be a bad person for the rest of your life, convert to Mormonism and you'll be forgiven of your sins," kinda thing.

I agree with this.  In addition, I wonder if this is part of the attraction he has towards her.  Somehow I can't see him getting so excited about dating a Mormon girl who is already a "good" girl.  It's like she's his "project" and he's saving her soul and by marrying her he's fulfilled the most important part of his mission.  

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I think it's another production move. Minus the conversion to Mormonism they are a boring (but cute) couple. Lets make her sound all down on herself by saying she's bad and religion saved her. Yup, total production move. 

 

While my son doesn't have such a soft voice, a lot of the mannerisms are similar to Josh and every time I see him on screen I think of my son (and his wife). I think they have just as much a chance at making it as any young couple does.

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I agree with this.  In addition, I wonder if this is part of the attraction he has towards her.  Somehow I can't see him getting so excited about dating a Mormon girl who is already a "good" girl.  It's like she's his "project" and he's saving her soul and by marrying her he's fulfilled the most important part of his mission.  

 

 

I think it's another production move. Minus the conversion to Mormonism they are a boring (but cute) couple. Lets make her sound all down on herself by saying she's bad and religion saved her. Yup, total production move. 

 

While my son doesn't have such a soft voice, a lot of the mannerisms are similar to Josh and every time I see him on screen I think of my son (and his wife). I think they have just as much a chance at making it as any young couple does.

I think it is the couple's not the producers move and his reason for being on the show. The "religious" couples, the Mormons and the Evangelicals from season two seem to being using the show to spread the word. Showing us this is how it is properly done with the wife staying with grandma or the brother in law before the wedding and Josh outright saying he brought Aleksandra to God. It plays better than the first season's couple where the missionary met a 12 year old from a family conversion and waited for her to turn 18. Which to me was freakier than Mark possibly being catfished by a 16 year old Nikki but staying around when she did turn  a legal 18.

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Well they are sweet....I wish them well. Hope getting out of Rexberg helps

Not sure of future - I always feel sadness and "guilt" around her - like maybe her first love dumped her badly?

Him....well gaydar flashing....I hope he is good to her. As a dentist he should be able to support her nicely

as others have said - LDS has lot of ballroom dancers...to Alexandria "I hope you dance"

I also had kind of a feeling (call it a woman's intuition :) ) that Aleksandra may have been on the rebound when she met Josh.

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I like both of them for different reasons.

Josh is a nice kid, but I'm getting the feeling that his religion is very strict, to the point where he may snap and have a hidden dark side. Nobody can be a goody-two shoes all the time. Many "religious" people have an outside appearance, and another personality inside....

 

Aleks is too young to be married. I suspect that she always dreamt of marrying an American and to live in the US. Many Russian women want to do this. I know a few. Many complain the Russian men drink too much... They find American men more appealing and easy going, and they think US men have money.

 

Aleks met Josh too soon, and I'm afraid she'll regret this marriage. No matter how well Josh will treat her, she may get tired of being tied down, and may find Mormonism too oppressive. Give her time to mature, and plant her feet firmly in the US, see the country..... She was not done sowing her oats, imo.

 

When she says that she was bad, it doesn't mean the same as in America. She's referring to being out at night, and dancing, sort of partying. I know some Slavic women (Polish, Ukrainian, Russian...) and they talk that way. They use phrases that are kind of oxymoronic (it's like being a good person but appearing badly). It's difficult to explain. Aleks is using a simple translation of the word partying and enjoying herself, but she doesn't mean that she slept around, or did something immoral... But I guess once she met Josh, she had to stop everything because Mormons condemn many behaviors.

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^she would have used a different tone of voice if that were the case. I think she was being serious--not that she was going out and doing blow and sleeping with random guys, but that her brain has been warped to make her feel like her past makes her less worthy.

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Ugh. These two. It pains me to see Aleksandra marrying this ...this...boy. If a (hetero) woman is going to be married, she ought to marry a man. One who has his own place, pays his own bills, and directs his own life. Josh seems child like in so many ways. Aleksandra has lived an independent life, and seems young but more mature. She seems to be working very hard to suppress her natural personality and inclinations. I suspect the real Aleksandra  is lively, and funny, and interesting. Pretty much the exact opposite of Josh. He's a nice boy, but doesn't seem to have much to offer. Other than citizenship.

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I wonder if viewers are seeing Josh as immature because of his boyish face and soft voice; people might be judging him based on how he looks, which is much younger than he actually is.  His features are nice, so maybe in 5-10 years he'll get a more manly look that matches his age and position.  For now though, he does look odd as a soon-to-be father and husband, like a daddy-kid.

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Aleks met Josh too soon, and I'm afraid she'll regret this marriage. No matter how well Josh will treat her, she may get tired of being tied down, and may find Mormonism too oppressive. Give her time to mature, and plant her feet firmly in the US, see the country..... She was not done sowing her oats, imo.

 

I agree. I like them together, but all of her doubts leading up to the wedding make me think that she will not last as a Mormon. Before even being married, she felt as if she was too young to settle down, and wanted to go back to Prague. I don't know if they replayed clips, but if she was saying that she was "too young to get married" as much as we were hearing it, I think it's only going to go downhill from here. I just feel bad that she's pregnant now -- if she thought wasn't ready for marriage at 21, I can only imagine her panic at becoming a mother at her age.

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I noticed one clip where she was saying she wanted to go back to Prague and was laughing, and it was at the tail end of a joke... then they show it in the episode and edited it to look like she was serious. The laughing part was gone. That's why I don't believe anything they showed with these two, it was all a little too "convenient" especially the 6 am prayer sessions. I think they will be fine.

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I've changed my opinion of Josh. At first I thought "closeted." After watching for a while I saw that he's just sort of awkward and nervous and literal, like his dad. 

 

And as for Aleks...I think I've mentioned this before, but the Slavic women I've known have a much more traditional view of relationships and marriage. I think her family is happy for her that she's done well and avoided marrying an alcohol addict and found someone with good prospects and a nice family.

I wouldn't be thrilled if my child married someone who was LDS, but I'd remind myself that they could do a lot worse than a culture that believes in taking care of one another.

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I think Aleksandra getting pregnant seals the deal as far as getting Josh's parents' approval and cementing her place in the family. Not that it's WHY she got pregnant, but it wouldn't surprise me if that was at least part of the motivation. After all, nothing says "this is forever" like a baby.  In my cynical mind, I can't think why two people who are so young, barely married, and have no visible means of supporting themselves independently would decide NOW is a good time to get knocked up. And it clearly was something they made a conscious decision to do, given all of the forms of birth control available. Or is LDS one of those religions that frown on birth control?

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I think Aleksandra getting pregnant seals the deal as far as getting Josh's parents' approval and cementing her place in the family. Not that it's WHY she got pregnant, but it wouldn't surprise me if that was at least part of the motivation. After all, nothing says "this is forever" like a baby.  In my cynical mind, I can't think why two people who are so young, barely married, and have no visible means of supporting themselves independently would decide NOW is a good time to get knocked up. And it clearly was something they made a conscious decision to do, given all of the forms of birth control available. Or is LDS one of those religions that frown on birth control?

How funny that as far as we've come, we're still the creatures we always were.  I mean, having a baby used to cement a woman's place in the British monarchy. Shades of Henry VIII and how he married, beheaded and divorced all in the name of getting a son.  A woman never felt like her place was secure until she gave birth.  Of course it isn't exactly the same, but it just reminds me so much of those sensibilities.  Marie Antoinette felt like a total failure as queen because she wasn't pregnant, even though Louis XVI couldn't/didn't want to have sex with her.

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I wonder if viewers are seeing Josh as immature because of his boyish face and soft voice; people might be judging him based on how he looks, which is much younger than he actually is.  His features are nice, so maybe in 5-10 years he'll get a more manly look that matches his age and position.  For now though, he does look odd as a soon-to-be father and husband, like a daddy-kid.

 

This certainly could be the case.  My husband was the same way when he started his first "real" job: young looking and soft spoken.  None of the contractors took him seriously as an architect so an older friend suggested he grow out his facial hair as a way to hide his boyish looks.  It worked.  Maybe Josh should grow a mustache or beard.

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So there's some rumblings circling around the interwebs about the baby. On Alek's instagram she posts some baby pictures but the baby's head is either turned away, cut off, etc. One picture shows the back of her head with a mass of darker, curly hair. The pictures very obviously don't show her face.

From what I pieced together, she took a trip with her best friend after she got married and now people are speculating the baby is his.

Of course, we all know children can look nothing like either of their parents. And they certainly could be keeping her face off social media for privacy concerns. From what I can tell, she hasn't addressed it. Things that make you go hmmmm.

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On ‎12‎/‎18‎/‎2015 at 1:03 PM, DangerousMinds said:

I read somewhere else that birth control is "allowed" for LDS, but abortion is absolutely not. It does seem a shame that they couldn't wait until Josh finished school at least to get pregnant. He seemed very worried about their finances.

Birth control is perfectly fine with LDS couples. It is a very openly talked about subject.

Having babies is encouraged while in college. I lived in U of U married student housing for years. I wondered why medical students and grad students would have 2-3 kids while in school and not wait a few years. One of the big reasons besides wanting a family, perhaps some family pressure is cost. Babies are free to have in college or grad school with baby your baby program and WIC and married housing is so cheap the wife can stay home and avoid daycare. Get a job and you have a big out of pocket cost for medical. I have looked at the numbers stunned, talked to OB/GYN's and over 60% of babies are born  to married couples are paid for by the state yet there is little poverty? I have a neighbor who had her 3 kids while here husband was in college and paid nothing for 3 hospital births. She had an oops baby 12 years later, she at first was happy but then saw the cost and was mad. I mean mad. She had the baby at home since a hospital birth with insurance was over 10k out of pocket. She let us all know she was in labor and miserable. She said no way would she spend 10k on a delivery when 10k pays for a kids 2 year mission.

Josh and his wife are so typical of so many couples I have seen in the quick marriage , babies and still in school. In the 2 years since they aired I have known over a dozen more missionaires bringing home spouses. In fact 3 were female missionaries bringing back men. Our rural city just started have swearing in program for new citizens so they don't have to go to SLC and almost all were spouses of return missionaries.

 

Can a couple like this work out,  sure. I am always surprised to find out that one of my kids friend's parents met this way. There are some moms I would have never guessed came from another county, but they did 15-20 years ago and have seamlessly integrated into life here. Of course there are a few that get bored with the stay at home mom job and want more, but in general I have seen very few divorces. I think it is the overwhelming support system, good or bad, there is always a church full of people willing to be around you everyday if you want with activites or projects.

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On April 27, 2017 at 0:27 PM, Major Bigtime said:

I'm pretty sure they don't want the baby's face on the Internet. Would you?

Generally speaking, people that don't want their children's face on the internet don't post their children online period. Like Kerry Washington from Scandal,  she has a preschooler and an infant, and hasn't posted not one picture online, not a hand or a face or the back of a head. Plus, there were pictures of the baby's face on Aleksandra's social media, before people pointed out that the baby girl looked obviously biracial and she went on a scrubbing spree.

Quite frankly their family dynamic is none of my or anyone else's business, but it's the unfortunate double edged sword of those 15 minutes, people believe they're entitled to your privacy. That being said denying the obvious is futile as well; unless the little girl is the second coming of Sandra Laing, it's obvious that she is not Josh's biological child.

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(edited)
On 4/27/2017 at 10:45 AM, ExplainItAgain said:

So there's some rumblings circling around the interwebs about the baby. On Alek's instagram she posts some baby pictures but the baby's head is either turned away, cut off, etc. One picture shows the back of her head with a mass of darker, curly hair. The pictures very obviously don't show her face.

From what I pieced together, she took a trip with her best friend after she got married and now people are speculating the baby is his.

Of course, we all know children can look nothing like either of their parents. And they certainly could be keeping her face off social media for privacy concerns. From what I can tell, she hasn't addressed it. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Not only that, but on her Facebook she is claiming (in russian, which I speak) that her father is actually Cuban and is Black and that's why the baby looks the way it does...

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935529_168783096617360_1239340409_n.jpg?

She is saying that this guy is her biological father (her's, not the baby's)

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If that's true (that seems like something that could be easily verified?) she certainly didn't get one gene from him. She looked a lot like her mother if I remember correctly from their season.

If the baby isn't Josh's the situation is sad - I know Mormons heavily discourage divorce so I feel like Josh would be pressured into staying with the marriage.

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I think she looks the most like her "step-dad" or whatever he is? The guy who was portrayed on the show as her father 

 

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There are reasons why the baby could look the way it does and doesn't mean she cheated.  My cousins and I were all born with curly black hair.  By the time we were each one, we had platinum blonde hair.  We're now all brunettes.  I haven't seen photos of her baby, but if that is her biological father, that could explain a lot.

Growing up, I knew two girls who had a Japanese father (who reminded me of Jack Soo from Barney Miller) and a mother who was a wonderful person, but looked like Shelly Duval had a less attractive sister.  The girls were absolutely gorgeous.  We always wondered where they got it from because it wasn't either of their parents, but they had photos of their family from several generations ago, and that's who they resembled.  If she's telling the truth, that could explain it all.

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