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Your embarrassing moments and confessions: you're only human

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@ari333 my Mom is a Health and P.E. Teacher so she knows how natural that is even though I don't think at that young age of 16 she thought her daughter was doing it. She just wanted to make sure I was protected and educated in every way. I had also been with my Ex for quite some time at that time even though I was young. She wasn't pleased that is for damn sure, but she wasn't going to kill me. My Dad though at first I thought was going to kill my Ex. :)

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4 minutes ago, Splishy Splashy said:

@ari333 my Mom is a Health and P.E. Teacher so she knows how natural that is even though I don't think at that young age of 16 she thought her daughter was doing it. She just wanted to make sure I was protected and educated in every way. I had also been with my Ex for quite some time at that time even though I was young. She wasn't pleased that is for damn sure, but she wasn't going to kill me. My Dad though at first I thought was going to kill my Ex. :)

Well I know what you're saying. I didn't mean that my mother would have literally killed me dead. She would have made me suffer and never let me forget it. That is for sure  -if she had caught me at any age having sex , unmarried. THE HORROR. And any  sex was always considered dirty in my family. Don't get me started :-)

Edited by ari333
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4 minutes ago, ari333 said:

Well I know what you're saying. I didn't mean that my mother would have literally killed me dead. She would have made me suffer and never let me forget it. That is for sure  -if she had caught me at any age having dirty sex , unmarried. THE HORROR. And any  sex was always considered dirty in my family. Don't get me started :-)

I can understand that. Sex has just been viewed as something more natural in my family. I have a 15 year old sister and a 13 year old brother and I talk with my little sister a lot about boys and sex and I know she is still a Virgin. I basically just want her to know that I am always there for her and to let her know that Mom is there for her if she ever decides to go down that path.

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40 minutes ago, Splishy Splashy said:

I can understand that. Sex has just been viewed as something more natural in my family. I have a 15 year old sister and a 13 year old brother and I talk with my little sister a lot about boys and sex and I know she is still a Virgin. I basically just want her to know that I am always there for her and to let her know that Mom is there for her if she ever decides to go down that path.

That sounds so normal and healthy.

Not my experience at all. sadly.  Bad memories. And what was so weird is that as a young teen I was being "accused" of having sex when I had chosen not to ..... until age 20... an adult. No one else's business, you'd think. 

Here's one.

I was prescribed antibiotics for a sinus/throat infection by a pediatrician when I was 16. I got the side effect of a vaginal yeast infection. THAT HAPPENS. When I mentioned it to my mother , I was asking for help and all she said was, "What did you do with HIM to get THAT?"  "Him" being my bf who I only went to movies and school dances, ball games with and no sex. (my choice) Damn it got so old.  At times I thought, "well shit I might as well do it since I'm getting accused of it all the time anyway.....do it just for spite" Heh, but clearly spite is not a good reason to have sex.  I just wasn't ready until I was ready. My body. My decision. Even as an adult she was still trying to control me. Hell's bells. she still tries to control me now and I'm old. No, I'm not kidding.

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5 minutes ago, ari333 said:

That sounds so normal and healthy.

Not my experience at all. sadly.  Bad memories. And what was so weird is that as a young teen I was being "accused" of having sex when I had chosen not to ..... until age 20... an adult. No one else's business, you'd think. 

I was prescribed antibiotics by a pediatrician when I was 16. I got the side effect of a vaginal yeast infection. THAT HAPPENS. All she said was "What did you do with HIM to get THAT? "Him" being my bf who I went to movies and school dances with and no sex. Damn it got so old.  At times I thought, "well shit I might as well do it since I'm getting accused of it all the time anyway.....do it just for spite" Heh, but clearly spite is not a good reason to have sex.  I just wasn't ready until I was ready. My body. My decision.

I am so sorry you had those experiences. Sex definitely should be something you and your partner are comfortable with. And you are correct it is no ones else's damn business. If you and your partner feel it is the right time and you are developed enough to have sex then I think it is fine. All those experiences that you had if it would have been me would have traumatized me about sex and I guarantee you I wouldn't have experienced sex yet. The 3 times I have had sex with my Ex were wonderful and even though we broke up this past Summer when he went off to college I would not take back those experiences I had with him at all.

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18 minutes ago, Splishy Splashy said:

I am so sorry you had those experiences. Sex definitely should be something you and your partner are comfortable with. And you are correct it is no ones else's damn business. If you and your partner feel it is the right time and you are developed enough to have sex then I think it is fine. All those experiences that you had if it would have been me would have traumatized me about sex and I guarantee you I wouldn't have experienced sex yet. The 3 times I have had sex with my Ex were wonderful and even though we broke up this past Summer when he went off to college I would not take back those experiences I had with him at all.

I hear you.

I love sex and am a very sexual being. I have some introverted hangups, but I manage. :-)

I know now that older folks can have great sex. Maybe that sounds gross to some. I'm still going strong. (brag) :-)  I'm not super old, but I'm up there.

(I'm getting flashbacks of that recent "old bad granddad" movie with what's his name. heh)

In my family sex was characterized as evil and dirty. I completely   disagree with that notion.   Maybe it was all the Bible thumping that motivated them. IDK the whys. I just know it felt bad.

Thank you for using the word, "traumatized" bc that is exactly how I felt at the time. Not from sex, from the accusations and guilt-tripping over something that had not even happened yet. Sheesh. It is a wonder I am a normal person and survived it all.

And yes, I'm normal. "I've been tested"  *snort* [/tm quote Sheldon Cooper - Big Bang Theory] :-)  

The whole damn thing was freaking embarrassing.

Edited by ari333

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15 minutes ago, ari333 said:

I hear you.

I love sex and am a very sexual being. I have some introverted hangups, but I manage. :-)

I know now that older folks can have great sex. Maybe that sounds gross to some. I'm still going strong. (brag) :-)  I'm not super old, but I'm up there.

(I'm getting flashbacks of that recent "old bad granddad" movie with what's his name. heh)

In my family sex was characterized as evil and dirty. I completely   disagree with that notion.   Maybe it was all the Bible thumping that motivated them. IDK the whys. I just know it felt bad.

Thank you for using the word, "traumatized" bc that is exactly how I felt at the time. Not from sex, from the accusations and guilt-tripping over something that had not even happened yet. Sheesh. It is a wonder I am a normal person and survived it all.

And yes, I'm normal. "I've been tested"  *snort* [/tm quote Sheldon Cooper - Big Bang Theory] :-)  

The whole damn thing was freaking embarrassing.

I am glad that it didn't affect you worse than it did. For me college is coming up fast and not only do I want to get a great education and be a part of the swim team in college, but I do hope to find a healthy romantic relationship with a great guy that will last if that happens to be in my cards. 

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6 minutes ago, Splishy Splashy said:

I am glad that it didn't affect you worse than it did. For me college is coming up fast and not only do I want to get a great education and be a part of the swim team in college, but I do hope to find a healthy romantic relationship with a great guy that will last if that happens to be in my cards. 

I'm sure you will. You seem like an awesome young person.  Best wishes and big hugs.  I used to be a swimmer. I need to go back and start again. It would help me in many ways. So I need to get up and go do it.  Ok I need to go buy a freaking bathing suit first which will be horrifying and embarrassing :-) but I need to do it

On another note, I wish I could go back and tell my 20-something-yr-old self some things. It'd have saved me a lot of pain. One thing is ---don't give a shit what anyone else says about your own life. IT IS YOURS.I wish I had felt that or known that at the time.

I was a wimp many times and let people walk on me. I wish I hadn't. But no more. It's pretty late for me now, but it's never "too" late.

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16 hours ago, ari333 said:

I'm sure you will. You seem like an awesome young person.  Best wishes and big hugs.  I used to be a swimmer. I need to go back and start again. It would help me in many ways. So I need to get up and go do it.  Ok I need to go buy a freaking bathing suit first which will be horrifying and embarrassing :-) but I need to do it

On another note, I wish I could go back and tell my 20-something-yr-old self some things. It'd have saved me a lot of pain. One thing is ---don't give a shit what anyone else says about your own life. IT IS YOURS.I wish I had felt that or known that at the time.

I was a wimp many times and let people walk on me. I wish I hadn't. But no more. It's pretty late for me now, but it's never "too" late.

Thanks so much for the kind words and advice. It means a lot. Swimming it the absolute best workout and way to stay in shape. Another great thing is any age can do it. 

Oh, I never give a shit what others say and I have been called names before and I just laugh at the petty people calling me the names. I know who my real friends are and we are close. Most kids at my school would call me one of the popular kids but I hate when they do that. I like all sort of kids at my school. They don't have labels on their heads on who I can like or not like. The ones I don't like are the ones that put labels on others and treat others badly.

Edited by Splishy Splashy
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23 hours ago, Splishy Splashy said:

Thanks so much for the kind words and advice. It means a lot. Swimming it the absolute best workout and way to stay in shape. Another great thing is any age can do it. 

Oh, I never give a shit what others say and I have been called names before and I just laugh at the petty people calling me the names. I know who my real friends are and we are close. Most kids at my school would call me one of the popular kids but I hate when they do that. I like all sort of kids at my school. They don't have labels on their heads on who I can like or not like. The ones I don't like are the ones that put labels on others and treat others badly.

You seem like such a sweet soul. I recall in second grade there was some chubby girl with a northern accent (we were in the deep south. Her family had just moved there) The kids gave her pure shit. It was cruel. I used to go and make a point of sitting with her during lunch and talking to her during PE when no one would even speak to her. All they did was mock her. . I hated bullies then and still do. I was always trying to befriend the ones who had no friends.

Later, I was an honor student. I was on the dance team. I was not particularly bullied (unless you count my family -yikes ) But I recall always feeling empathy for the outsiders and trying to include them in games, activities, conversations, lunch etc.   

Now off to buy a swimsuit. That is one thing my parents did right for me, giving me swimming lessons as a child . You've encouraged and motivated me, young woman -sweet Splishy Splashy. Thank you. Hugs.

Edited by ari333
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I'll go ahead and say it. I'm a little scared of being so out of shape and overweight for swimming and it will be humiliating in a bathing suit. . I know I just need to do it, but I'm scared. [/chicken] I have to start somewhere. I'm just not sure how to start. I got some shorts to put over the suit. (my ass and thighs) I need some swim goggles  (from Amazon? none in the stores in Feb) and maybe I can get myself out there . Still embarrassing.

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ari333 you sound a lot like me. I despise bullies and I try to stop bullying as much as I can at my school but I get laughed at a lot of the time by the guys doing it. I guess I am one of the lucky ones at my school because I am considered popular and on the swim team, student council, and always seem to get invited to parties. A lot of that I just let roll off of me and try and act like a normal kid who likes anyone who is nice to me. I just can't see labels on people.

As for the bathing suit you will be perfectly fine. I would also consider getting a kick board because that really helps working on your leg strength while doing laps. The main thing is to have fun and enjoy yourself while swimming. You will see the results in no time. Good Luck.

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Swimming is such a good thing for stress too - I rarely get to do it but whenever a friend of mine moves into a place with a swimming pool, they know immediately to invite me over at least once a week :)

I think the most important thing with any kind of physical activity is to take a really arrogant approach to it when it has to happen in public. Pretend you're a character who is mean or king of the world or a super duper celebrity who is above all of those around you and just march over to whatever machine you want to use or swimming pool you want to splash around in and make it happen. Treat it like it's a holy mission and enjoy escaping into a rather confident character for an hour, ignoring all those around you. It sounds silly, but I find it really works. Because the bottom line is people are going to look at you and notice you no matter how much you wish they wouldn't, so it's better for you to tell yourself that they are in awe of you or intimidated by you than to feel the opposite.

I'm not saying you should try to make yourself look crazy or anything though LOL! Just march in like you own the place with a "get out of my way, peasants!" inner monologue. It's actually kind of funny to say that sort of stuff in your head so it'll give you a boost and put you in a good mood as you prepare to sweat and stretch yourself.

Okay what embarrassing moments can I share? Hmmm. I have a female friend right now, a very very good friend, who it turns out actually met me years before I even became aware of her existence. She had seen me in a public space crying to myself and thought I was a total nut job. It didn't help matters that her partner at the time pointed me out because - guess what - he had actually known me since I was a child because we used to take an extracurricular activity together. I never knew him, but he remembered me as an eccentric youngster and was deeply amused to discover I had to become an eccentric adult and pointed me out to his girlfriend ... who is now my good friend.

 

...and who knows firsthand that I am eccentric and still judges before it, but what can you do? :) Her Ex meanwhile moved away and frankly I get the sense that he judged me much more harshly than she ever did.

Moral of the story - don't cry in public if you can avoid it and remember that someone you may not even be aware of could have been watching you from a distance since childhood and then switch off stalker responsibilities with their current partner...LOL.

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On 2/20/2017 at 2:32 PM, ari333 said:

I'll go ahead and say it. I'm a little scared of being so out of shape and overweight for swimming and it will be humiliating in a bathing suit. . I know I just need to do it, but I'm scared. [/chicken] I have to start somewhere. I'm just not sure how to start. I got some shorts to put over the suit. (my ass and thighs) I need some swim goggles  (from Amazon? none in the stores in Feb) and maybe I can get myself out there . Still embarrassing.

Believe me*, everyone who is not in perfect shape is so obsessed with how they appear, they are not even thinking about you.  Wear what you feel comfortable in and allows you to move freely.  I now wear the girl version of board shorts and a rash guard t-shirt because that is what I feel comfortable in.

*I was that thin, lanky girl in regular clothes, but rocked a bikini.  I spent an excessive amount of time at the beach because I loved tanning and the sense of being by the ocean, but other people (with the exception of cute surfer boys) were invisible to me.

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On 2/20/2017 at 2:32 PM, ari333 said:

I'll go ahead and say it. I'm a little scared of being so out of shape and overweight for swimming and it will be humiliating in a bathing suit. . I know I just need to do it, but I'm scared. [/chicken] I have to start somewhere. I'm just not sure how to start. I got some shorts to put over the suit. (my ass and thighs) I need some swim goggles  (from Amazon? none in the stores in Feb) and maybe I can get myself out there . Still embarrassing.

I felt awkward and embarrassed about being in a swimsuit last summer until I got to the pool and saw all the other women. If they could do it, so could I.

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I think everyone, especially women and girls have some image difficulties so they are really worrying about themselves and really not worrying much about the person next to them. I don't care what age you are you always end you comparing yourself to something that you can't be. I am a teen girl with a pretty athletic body but there are times that I criticize myself on something or try to compare myself to someone that I feel is better. I know it is not right and I should be totally happy with my image and for the most part I am, but there are times that it does come into play. I think a lot has to do with it how magazines and all make models looks. There is no way anyone can compare to any of that and most of it is photoshopped shit anyway.

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That one time I was alone in the (dorm) laundry room and someone else walked in just when I had my hand halfway up my butt, pulling out a wedgie.

Edited by Trini
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Here's one from when I was a kid. I was canoeing with several aunts and uncles, and one of my aunts and one of my uncles were in the canoe with me (doing the paddling). This was back in the day when beer cans still had the detachable pull tabs. So, my aunt asked me to get her the last beer from the cooler. I opened it and asked her what she wanted me to do with the pull tab, and I was told to throw it in the river. For some reason, my brain communicated that action to the wrong hand and the beer ended up in the river instead. LOL. I still get teased about that 35 years later.

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On 2/20/2017 at 0:32 PM, ari333 said:

I'll go ahead and say it. I'm a little scared of being so out of shape and overweight for swimming and it will be humiliating in a bathing suit. . I know I just need to do it, but I'm scared. [/chicken] I have to start somewhere. I'm just not sure how to start. I got some shorts to put over the suit. (my ass and thighs) I need some swim goggles  (from Amazon? none in the stores in Feb) and maybe I can get myself out there . Still embarrassing.

I can understand how you feel -- I am in the same situation. Whenever I feel awkward and uncomfortable, I simply remind myself that life is short and I can't worry too much about what other people think. I also remind myself that they aren't thinking about me at all and are worried about their own issues. Better to take a deep breath and get out there instead of becoming a recluse and missing out on life.

My confession today --I realized that I am a woman of a certain age (whatever that means). I work with a lot of young women in their 20s, and they come to work with about 10 lbs of makeup -- thick eyeliner, false eyelashes, hair extensions, you name it. The other day, one of these girls came in unexpectedly and my first response was that she looked like a hooker. I heard my grandmother's voice in my head, "have you picked out your street corner?" Today, one of them came to work without makeup, and I thought, gosh, you're a pretty girl. Who knew. 

I am old. 

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On ‎4‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 2:12 PM, ennui said:

I can understand how you feel -- I am in the same situation. Whenever I feel awkward and uncomfortable, I simply remind myself that life is short and I can't worry too much about what other people think. I also remind myself that they aren't thinking about me at all and are worried about their own issues. Better to take a deep breath and get out there instead of becoming a recluse and missing out on life.

My confession today --I realized that I am a woman of a certain age (whatever that means). I work with a lot of young women in their 20s, and they come to work with about 10 lbs of makeup -- thick eyeliner, false eyelashes, hair extensions, you name it. The other day, one of these girls came in unexpectedly and my first response was that she looked like a hooker. I heard my grandmother's voice in my head, "have you picked out your street corner?" Today, one of them came to work without makeup, and I thought, gosh, you're a pretty girl. Who knew. 

I am old. 

I agree with everything you said, but I needed to read it from someone else.  I'm a certain age too. My bf is 20 years younger and I'm thinking, " why the hell are you with me?" But he apparently sees something in me. We've been happy for 7 yrs. (sorry I am repeating shit) We've had ups and downs, but overall happy. I want to reclaim my health and be the best old lady I can be. Thank you for the response and encouragement.

I'm a chicken and taking baby steps. I got the swim suit, the shorts and the flips flops. I 'll get some goggles and then when I actually sign up for a membership to swim I wont' have an excuse. I've been having a little trouble breathing (on an inhaler) so maybe I'm scared. NOt giving up, just taking a little longer than I thought. I'll be a big liar if I said I'm not a little hesitant.

Someone here who is a swimmer said that I should start with a paddle board. Maybe that is a good idea.

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On 2/20/2017 at 2:32 PM, ari333 said:

I'll go ahead and say it. I'm a little scared of being so out of shape and overweight for swimming and it will be humiliating in a bathing suit. . I know I just need to do it, but I'm scared. [/chicken] I have to start somewhere. I'm just not sure how to start. I got some shorts to put over the suit. (my ass and thighs) I need some swim goggles  (from Amazon? none in the stores in Feb) and maybe I can get myself out there . Still embarrassing.

You know what? I know exactly how you feel here. I started going to the gym in 2008 and, at the time, I probably weighed around 300 pounds. I was so self-conscious and uncomfortable being in the gym. And then I realized "That's what the gym is for. All these people who are in shape could just as easily have been where I am and now they're not." Basically, nobody's really paying attention and I think that holds true of going swimming, whether at a beach or a swimming pool (and, in my opinion, is definitely true about swimming pools). You just go dressed how you feel comfortable (and what complies with pool rules) and don't worry about anyone else. If they don't like how you look, they can shut their eyes or they can leave. And if they're stupid and uncouth enough to mouth off to you about it, just look at them and say something along the lines of, "If you don't like it, you're able-bodied. Take your rude ass somewhere else."

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On 10/5/2015 at 8:08 AM, DeLurker said:

After having my new iPhone for about a month, it stopped ringing and giving me text notifications.  I had resisted a smartphone for years because I figured I would not use half the stuff and when I finally caved, it stops working after such a short period - mutter mutter mutter...I bring it in to a Sprint store, explain the problem and the young lady (early 20s) smiles at me very kindly, flips the small lever on the side that mutes everything.  I'm sure she was thinking - poor thing, it really is so simple.  She must be daft.

When I got my first Smart Phone, I only half listened to what the salesperson was saying. I was more concerned that all my contact info transferred over to the new phone. So I get my first incoming phone call and I can't get it to answer. I'm tapping the green phone icon, I'm stabbing it with my index finger, I'm pressing down on it with my thumb like I'm getting fingerprinted. Call goes to voicemail. It rings again, same thing happens. I bring it back to the phone store.

After the salesperson looks like he's trying not to laugh and explains "swiping" I ask if I should switch to a RemedialPhone

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I didn't do this myself, but it's iPhone related.  A few years back, a lady I was sort-of seeing had gotten a new iPhone.  We were having lunch, and knowing I do a lot of photography, she asked me about a problem she was having taking pictures with the new phone.  When it used the flash, the pictures were all washed out and overexposed, but without the flash, they looked fine.  I poked around the setting for a bit and couldn't find anything that might be causing it.  After lunch, we stopped in an Apple store.  She explained the problem, and the young lady took the phone out of the case, peeled the clear plastic off the back of the phone, which apparently was reflecting the flash back into the lens, and asked "Are you having any other problems with it?"  I turned to my friend and she just said "Shut up! Just shut up!" ;-)

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On 2/13/2016 at 11:24 AM, Petunia13 said:

At my old job we had an automatic door that slid horizontally if the sensor detected anything in front of it.

Several x a day people would stand in front of the part it slid to instead of the door. Or in front of full length windows expecting them to open.

This story in a round about manner relates to yours.

A true brain fart moment.

Back in January, I received the authorization to return a piece of hardware. It’s kind of cool, now companies will send you a pre-labeled box with bubble wrap and all you have to do is put your return item in, seal it with the packing tape – which they provide too, and drop it off at the post office.

So bright and early on a Monday morning, off I went to the local post office with my return box. In my neck of the woods, the local post offices are tiny. So when I got there, there was one man at the teller window. I stood on the line – which was just me. The clerk was telling the man he needed to fill out some form and while he was writing the clerk looked over to me and asked if the box I was carrying was a pre-labelled drop off box. I said yes and she said you can put in right into the glass box chute located to the left of  her. So I walk up and stand there holding my box. Nothing happens. So I move around a little and again nothing happens. So I’m looking for the red dot sensor light thingy. Now I’m really moving around, I’m moon walking and doing the cabbage patch with this box. The guy at the window senses me and looks over to me, then at the chute and manually lifts the glass door up. The clerk busted out laughing and I said OMG out loud. I put the box in, pulled down the glass door and walked out.

There are times, I feel like Pavlov’s dog and I have been trained/brainwashed/programmed to behave  a certain way. Subways and trains - the doors automatically open, same with supermarket entryways. I have been guilty of standing at the back door of a bus waiting for it to open automatically for me as opposed to touching the yellow strip. I’ve jumped up and down on the rug in front of the grocery store, instead of pushing/pulling the door open.

Edited by KungFuBunny
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21 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

When I got my first Smart Phone, I only half listened to what the salesperson was saying. I was more concerned that all my contact info transferred over to the new phone. So I get my first incoming phone call and I can't get it to answer. I'm tapping the green phone icon, I'm stabbing it with my index finger, I'm pressing down on it with my thumb like I'm getting fingerprinted. Call goes to voicemail. It rings again, same thing happens. I bring it back to the phone store.

After the salesperson looks like he's trying not to laugh and explains "swiping" I ask if I should switch to a RemedialPhone

If it makes you feel any better, when I got my first smartphone it was a Galaxy S3 (so, about 4 years ago now) and I hadn't even owned a mobile phone since 2000. The salesperson never tried to explain how to answer it. So, when my wife called me I had no idea how to answer it and did the same thing you did. Fortunately, I knew how to make a call and just called her back. She explained it to me (because her sister has a smartphone and so my wife knew how to use it).

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1 hour ago, MrSmith said:

If it makes you feel any better, when I got my first smartphone it was a Galaxy S3 (so, about 4 years ago now) and I hadn't even owned a mobile phone since 2000. The salesperson never tried to explain how to answer it. So, when my wife called me I had no idea how to answer it and did the same thing you did. Fortunately, I knew how to make a call and just called her back. She explained it to me (because her sister has a smartphone and so my wife knew how to use it).

I think it just didn't click I said to myself "touch screen" I'm stinking touching it and nothing is happenning.

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1 hour ago, KungFuBunny said:

I think it just didn't click I said to myself "touch screen" I'm stinking touching it and nothing is happenning.

LOL. I thought they were buttons. I didn't recognize the symbol meant you to understand "slide this one over that one to answer/decline".

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10 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

LOL. I thought they were buttons. I didn't recognize the symbol meant you to understand "slide this one over that one to answer/decline".

By the same logic then why can you just tap the red phone to end the call/go to voicemail as opposed to having to swipe?

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It was unusual for someone to pick me up to go to the airport instead of me driving at 5:30 am. 

Which is why we were 20 minutes into the drive when I remembered that I forgot my wallet. 

Made the flight, no running, but God. 

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I am saying this and hope I do not offend anyone, but I really did not know.

When I was a teenager and didn't know the differences between religions.

It was at the time I only knew that Jewish people didn't believe Jesus was the son of God.

I walked into a Kosher Deli and asked for bacon.

When the butcher told me they were Kosher, I said okay do you have ham?

Edited by KungFuBunny

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My uncle grew up in upstate New York.  The first time he went to New York City, he and a friend went to a Kosher deli, and he asked for a ham sandwich and a glass of milk. 

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This brain fart moment also involves the SmartPhone.

My cousin helped me set up the Uber APP on my phone. She registered and attached the credit card info to the account. I used the Uber APP immediately and then it was about 2 months later that I went to use Uber again. I think when your account is inactive for a while they ask you to confirm the credit card info.

I typed in the card number again, security, expiration date, but then a screen appeared that said I needed to “scan” my credit card.

I thought of the scan feature for my computer printer which means you put the paper face down on the printer, close the lid and double click the scan icon on the  computer. So how the heck was I going to do this with my phone?

My SmartPhone is in a flip case. So I noticed besides saying  scan your credit card for verification it gave a picture of a red outline bracket.

I took my credit card and laid it face down on the phone. When nothing happened, I pushed the credit card around like Spirograph. When nothing happened, I tried swiping the credit card like I was at an ATM machine.

When I figured out, I had to take a picture of it with my camera phone and the brackets were there as guidance, I freaked out when the camera wouldn’t  work and I couldn’t see the credit card. It was because I had my flip case bent back and it was covering the lens.

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I happen to frequent the shopping channels thread. Once upon a time, I was a QVC addict before I was banned for life (another story). 

The shopping channels are currently featuring Christmas in July (CIJ). Many shopping outlets have jumped on the same train. I hear it on the radio. And this CIJ trend is really upsetting me. I had a difficult time falling asleep,pondering why this CIJ issue. And I realized that this past holiday season was personally depressing. I worked through most of it -- I think I worked Christmas Eve. And the day after Christmas. And New Year's. And a big part of me was relieved when the holidays were over and I could take the tree down. 

Retailers are destroying Christmas. We need a break. It doesn't have to be Christmas every month. If we have Christmas all during the month of July, it's no longer special in December. 

I want to love Christmas. I want it to be special.  

ETA and the Hallmark Movie Channel is showing Christmas films until the 16th. For the love of G**, give it a rest. December isn't that far off. 

Edited by ennui
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I a not a good or tidy dresser!

More often than not, when I am late for an engagement I will grab the first thing in my wardrobe (closet), and not really think of things like colour-coordination, occasion, freshness etc. Instead I will just grab it, give it a shake, put it on and I'm out the door!

But this has caused no end of embarrassing/awkward moments - i.e. blouse or skirt buttons not done up correctly, or not at all! skirt zips at half-mast; dark underwear and light tops; totally inappropriate t-shirts!!! mixed shoes both in design and/or colour; forgetting to put on my second stocking!! forgetting to tidy up on the lipstick or eye shadow; forgetting the other ear ring; going out with a comb left in my hair etc....

I like to think I am mildly intelligent & civilised, but when it comes to the simple task of getting dressed, it's totally beyond me sometimes :(

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The first thing I did this morning when I got to work this morning was drop my office keys down the elevator shaft.  On the up side, after *only* an hour and a half of different attempted MacGyverisms, I did retrieve them.  I'm thoroughly embarrassed though.  My boss knows.  my boss's wife knows (she had to bring me his keys). The landlord knows.  The UPS guy knows.  The hardware store clerk knows.

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On 7/8/2017 at 2:20 AM, Only Zola said:

I a not a good or tidy dresser!

More often than not, when I am late for an engagement I will grab the first thing in my wardrobe (closet), and not really think of things like colour-coordination, occasion, freshness etc. Instead I will just grab it, give it a shake, put it on and I'm out the door!

But this has caused no end of embarrassing/awkward moments - i.e. blouse or skirt buttons not done up correctly, or not at all! skirt zips at half-mast; dark underwear and light tops; totally inappropriate t-shirts!!! mixed shoes both in design and/or colour; forgetting to put on my second stocking!! forgetting to tidy up on the lipstick or eye shadow; forgetting the other ear ring; going out with a comb left in my hair etc....

I like to think I am mildly intelligent & civilised, but when it comes to the simple task of getting dressed, it's totally beyond me sometimes :(

Damn, I feel your pain, @Only Zola---maybe not so much on the good dresser part((because I do get compliments on my colorful vintage looks)), but it's tough indeed to get those fashions looking their most fabulous when you're a busy professional adult, isn't it? However, I admittedly have an issue with keeping my clothing items as clean and tidy as I should more regularly.

I hate ironing and literally just hang wrinkled items in the bathroom to soak in the steam instead. I'll literally staple up a stray hem or slight hole in a seam before I'll eventually get around to mending it. I'm cheap about dry-cleaning and have so many fragile vintage items I'm scared to launder myself, so I usually just spot-clean them between long wears. Main issue through all this NOT being my personal hygiene, just my messy nature---it's amazing how easy it is for me to drop or splatter anything on my clothing at any given moment.

Inevitably though, there will be times when I'm in a hurry to meet a friend, or I'm late for a social brunch, and therefore my lack of time to post-spotcheck my clothing comes back to hauntingly embarrass me. 

Like the time I had to explain to a very bemused guyfriend that the white stains I didn't even notice all over the side of my dress were NOT jizz stains!!!((dried roll-on deodorant drops have that look, apparently)) I'm still living that one down since he sometimes calls me "Monica" in jest.

Or worst moment of all, the time I'd thrown on a  bright fascia sundress to meet a group of gal-pals for brunch, only for them to burst out laughing when they saw me turn around and it looked like I'd pooped on the back of my dress((it was chocolate cake from a child's birthday party I'd attended in that dress a few days before!!))....lesson learned: clean your clothes regularly, even if they do "smell okay."

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8 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

Damn, I feel your pain, @Only Zola---maybe not so much on the good dresser part((because I do get compliments on my colorful vintage looks)), but it's tough indeed to get those fashions looking their most fabulous when you're a busy professional adult, isn't it? However, I admittedly have an issue with keeping my clothing items as clean and tidy as I should more regularly.

I hate ironing and literally just hang wrinkled items in the bathroom to soak in the steam instead. I'll literally staple up a stray hem or slight hole in a seam before I'll eventually get around to mending it. I'm cheap about dry-cleaning and have so many fragile vintage items I'm scared to launder myself, so I usually just spot-clean them between long wears. Main issue through all this NOT being my personal hygiene, just my messy nature---it's amazing how easy it is for me to drop or splatter anything on my clothing at any given moment.

Inevitably though, there will be times when I'm in a hurry to meet a friend, or I'm late for a social brunch, and therefore my lack of time to post-spotcheck my clothing comes back to hauntingly embarrass me. 

Like the time I had to explain to a very bemused guyfriend that the white stains I didn't even notice all over the side of my dress were NOT jizz stains!!!((dried roll-on deodorant drops have that look, apparently)) I'm still living that one down since he sometimes calls me "Monica" in jest.

Or worst moment of all, the time I'd thrown on a  bright fascia sundress to meet a group of gal-pals for brunch, only for them to burst out laughing when they saw me turn around and it looked like I'd pooped on the back of my dress((it was chocolate cake from a child's birthday party I'd attended in that dress a few days before!!))....lesson learned: clean your clothes regularly, even if they do "smell okay."

One of the best investments you can make is to buy a clothes steamer. The price range is $50 to $150 regular price. They do often have them makred down on sale and then if you ever get those Bed Bath & Beyond coupons - for 20% off one item you'll save even more. I tossed my iron/ironing board out years ago. Steaming saves you time and you don't have to panic and think Oh Shit did I unplug the iron. My house could be burning down to the ground right now.

124374361443860p?$229$

Have you ever tried Woolite at home dry cleaning sheets? When you are in a bind - throw your garment(s) and one sheet into the dryer. It will clean and deodorize. Maybe not so great for the chocolate cake stain but definitely on the spots that aren't jizz

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49 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

Damn, I feel your pain, @Only Zola---maybe not so much on the good dresser part((because I do get compliments on my colorful vintage looks)), but it's tough indeed to get those fashions looking their most fabulous when you're a busy professional adult, isn't it? However, I admittedly have an issue with keeping my clothing items as clean and tidy as I should more regularly.

I hate ironing and literally just hang wrinkled items in the bathroom to soak in the steam instead. I'll literally staple up a stray hem or slight hole in a seam before I'll eventually get around to mending it. I'm cheap about dry-cleaning and have so many fragile vintage items I'm scared to launder myself, so I usually just spot-clean them between long wears. Main issue through all this NOT being my personal hygiene, just my messy nature---it's amazing how easy it is for me to drop or splatter anything on my clothing at any given moment.

Inevitably though, there will be times when I'm in a hurry to meet a friend, or I'm late for a social brunch, and therefore my lack of time to post-spotcheck my clothing comes back to hauntingly embarrass me. 

Like the time I had to explain to a very bemused guyfriend that the white stains I didn't even notice all over the side of my dress were NOT jizz stains!!!((dried roll-on deodorant drops have that look, apparently)) I'm still living that one down since he sometimes calls me "Monica" in jest.

Or worst moment of all, the time I'd thrown on a  bright fascia sundress to meet a group of gal-pals for brunch, only for them to burst out laughing when they saw me turn around and it looked like I'd pooped on the back of my dress((it was chocolate cake from a child's birthday party I'd attended in that dress a few days before!!))....lesson learned: clean your clothes regularly, even if they do "smell okay."

I share your fear and loathing of all things ironing! So much so that  I get someone else to do that for me on a weekly collection basis. I am not all that bright when it comes to washing my clothes either, sometimes getting my whites mixed with my coloureds and resulting in rainbow-effect smears on my light blouses and skirts etc. 

But its buttons and zips where I always fall down, especially when rushed - I mean how difficult is it to button a blouse in perfect symmetry? Not me! I will always have a spare button or spare eyelet out; or those awkward moments when I have returned from from the ladies' restroom and I haven't fastened my skirt correctly, or worse, I have part of the back of my blouse either caught up in the zipper, or hanging over my skirt - so onlookers know exactly where I've been!

Oh and I'm not good with food either! Again how difficult is it to shovel food into a mouth (especially a big one like mine, lol) Invariably there will be spillages,  that will land in the most glaringly visible places on my blouse, and will stain and smear as soon as you try to brush it off!

First world problems I guess, lol 

Edited by Only Zola
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1 hour ago, Only Zola said:

I share your fear and loathing of all things ironing! So much so that  I get someone else to do that for me on a weekly collection basis. I am not all that bright when it comes to washing my clothes either, sometimes getting my whites mixed with my coloureds and resulting in rainbow-effect smears on my light blouses and skirts etc. 

But its buttons and zips where I always fall down, especially when rushed - I mean how difficult is it to button a blouse in perfect symmetry? Not me! I will always have a spare button or spare eyelet out; or those awkward moments when I have returned from from the ladies' restroom and I haven't fastened my skirt correctly, or worse, I have part of the back of my blouse either caught up in the zipper, or hanging over my skirt - so onlookers know exactly where I've been!

Oh and I'm not good with food either! Again how difficult is it to shovel food into a mouth (especially a big one like mine, lol) Invariably there will be spillages,  that will land in the most glaringly visible places on my blouse, and will stain and smear as soon as you try to brush it off!

First world problems I guess, lol 

Total Spazz raising hand here!

I am a total idiot when it comes to bathroom sinks, I manage to soak myself in the most humiliating spots

There have been plenty of times I've walked out looking like either I'm lactating or I peed my and it's running down my legs

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On 7/11/2017 at 8:57 AM, Only Zola said:

Oh and I'm not good with food either!

I'm fine with food until it's avocado. I've been known to change my blouse before eating something avocado.

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I was invited to a really quite posh restaurant with a few friends a couple of days ago, and as usual, I went into my usual tailspin with regards what to wear!

It was a formal occasion, so obviously no jeans and t-shirt. But then again I don't have that many dresses either. And the ones I do have are fairly plain and come in reds, black, pearl white and a grey. But which colour dress to choose for such a formal occasion?

I was going to go with red, but then that could have sent out wrong signals. Black just didn't seem appropriate; white would have been asking for trouble given my problems eating and not leaving spillages on my tops. 

So I went for grey. And to be honest, looking at myself in the full-length mirror, I didn't look too bad. And when I subsequently arrived at the restaurant I did get complemented for my dress and hair, much to my relief.

However, (and this is where it all goes horribly wrong), before taking my seat for dinner, I went to the ladies restroom, just to make a few final checks to my hair and face etc. I then turned on - what I thought - was the hot tap, but in actual fact it was the cold tap (no markings at all), and the sheer force of water splashed hard against the sink basin, and then splashed back all over the front of my dress and face!

I looked in the mirror in front of me: my dress was covered in dark, damp patches; my face smudged and my bangs dripping with water.

There were a couple of other women in the restroom with me, and they tried to help as much as they could. But the damp patches on my grey dress were too noticeable and I had nothing to cover it with.

Upset and embarrassed, I sent a text message to my friends waiting at the dinner table to say that I was going home. I left the restaurant and got a taxi ride home.

I took out my little makeup mirror from my clutch and looked at myself: it was difficult to tell whether it was water droplets from my hair running down my face, or my own tears :(

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How awful!  I am so sorry that happened.

Unless you turned on the faucet with the force of Magilla Gorilla, I suspect that others have had a similar experience and the management should be made aware of the problem and how it ruined your night out with friends.

I once went to a rather posh restaurant in LA for a work dinner with out out of state big cheeses visiting.  We had to go directly after work so I showed up in a slightly nicer version of what was my work wear - a black skirt, black jacket and a white button down shirt.  I took off the jacket when I sat down and eventually needed to use the restroom.

As I was washing my hands, another restaurant patron asked me to tell the management the ladies room needed more hand towels.  I looked at her bewildered and then she gasped "Oh!  I am so sorry!  I thought you worked here because of how you are dressed!".  It took me a second to realize I was wearing the colors, black and white, that waitstaff often do.  When I started laughing she did too - I think she was relieved I wasn't offended.

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On 7/11/2017 at 9:46 AM, Katy M said:

The first thing I did this morning when I got to work this morning was drop my office keys down the elevator shaft.  On the up side, after *only* an hour and a half of different attempted MacGyverisms, I did retrieve them.  I'm thoroughly embarrassed though.  My boss knows.  my boss's wife knows (she had to bring me his keys). The landlord knows.  The UPS guy knows.  The hardware store clerk knows.

I am so glad I work from home now because every time I have worked in a multi-story building, I have been paranoid about this exact thing happening to me. Enough so that as I crossed the elevator threshold, I would hold my keys firmly in my purse or pocket to prevent them from accidentally slipping out of my purse or whatever. 

My latest embarrassment occurred with no observers and in the privacy of my own home. (This one fits both here and in the music forum.) Recently I've been watching various Cheap Trick music videos on YouTube; these are mostly songs from the late 70s and early 80s. I eventually got around to listening to the live version of "Surrender" again and looked up the lyrics to refresh my memory. Part of the song has these lyrics:

     Father says, "Your mother's right
     She's really up on things
     Before we married, Mommy served
     In the WACS in the Philippines.”

For the past however many years, I have heard/interpreted those lines to be instead:

     Father says, "Your mother's right
     She's really up on things
     Before we married, Mom made sure
     To wax enough yellow beans
.”
 

WTF was I thinking? You don't wax yellow beans; they're called wax beans because of their slightly waxy appearance that is natural.  And even if one did wax yellow beans, the context makes no sense other than me just thinking vaguely that it meant the mother was nutritionally conscientious or something. I am mortified and hoping like hell that I have never engaged in discussion with anyone about those lyrics before today.

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This is more of a "yes, I know I'm weird confession" but I feel the need to confess the inner dialogue going on in my head for the last five days.  Because its been five days.

I had my driveway pressure washed earlier in the week.  Its so much cleaner than when I do it.

Every time I've come home since then, when I get out of the car I have an overwhelming feeling of how much bigger the space is (like how you can stage a room to make it feel bigger) and then I mentally deride myself "you are outside".

Edited by ParadoxLost
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I cried at work ? It was a few months ago. I was so overwhelmed and my boss spoke to me terribly. I was speaking to another co worker, and I just started crying. There are a lot of things going on in my life, and the work crap just piled on top of it. 

I'm not a crier and was so embarrassed. 

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2 hours ago, Hero said:

I cried at work ? It was a few months ago. I was so overwhelmed and my boss spoke to me terribly. I was speaking to another co worker, and I just started crying. There are a lot of things going on in my life, and the work crap just piled on top of it. 

I'm not a crier and was so embarrassed. 

I feel you. I remember in college I had a professor/advisor and we just didn't get along. One meeting I ended up crying. Well, the next meeting I was determined to NOT cry... so... I ended up passing out instead. ? Not sure which was worse. (Man, I'm glad I transferred schools!)

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On 7/28/2018 at 9:53 PM, Hero said:

 

I cried at work ? It was a few months ago. I was so overwhelmed and my boss spoke to me terribly. I was speaking to another co worker, and I just started crying. There are a lot of things going on in my life, and the work crap just piled on top of it. 

I'm not a crier and was so embarrassed. 

 

So sorry to read this @Hero; nothing worse than feeling like a weepy little girl on the job. Sometimes it just happens out of the blue like that, even despite your best efforts to stay strong. The pressure/stress just gets to much to deal with and suddenly the waterworks come out of nowhere!

That happened to me a year ago on the job. I can be a crier sometimes, but I pride myself on usually keeping the tears firmly under control in professional situations. 

At the time I was under severe pressure at work to get way too many things done in way too little time and was just trying to keep myself afloat and manage to attack all my tasks with expert precision. It felt way more stressful than usual and like I had to prove to my admin team that I could competently “handle” all these extra tasks tossed at me.

And just when I’d finally gotten a good flow going and was churning out some good results, I accidentally spilt some water on my work laptop and it immediately died on me...and there were no extra work laptops available when I ran to the IT office for assistance. Cue to me suddenly just turning into weepy, sniffling, blubbering mess right there in front of our very perplexed Head IT Specialist like a total buffoon; I think a bad mixture of PMS probably snuck into my excessive work anxiety that week and I just completely lost it at that very moment. It didn’t help that several coworkers happened to see me leaving and attempting to compose myself after my random little outburst...((because the moment someone asks you when you’re in that state, “What’s wrong?”, is usually the moment when you get even more weepy and weird!))

So yeah...I feel ya there. Still cringing over that incident.

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8 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

So sorry to read this @Hero; nothing worse than feeling like a weepy little girl on the job. Sometimes it just happens out of the blue like that, even despite your best efforts to stay strong. The pressure/stress just gets to much to deal with and suddenly the waterworks come out of nowhere!

That happened to me a year ago on the job. I can be a crier sometimes, but I pride myself on usually keeping the tears firmly under control in professional situations. 

At the time I was under severe pressure at work to get way too many things done in way too little time and was just trying to keep myself afloat and manage to attack all my tasks with expert precision. It felt way more stressful than usual and like I had to prove to my admin team that I could competently “handle” all these extra tasks tossed at me.

And just when I’d finally gotten a good flow going and was churning out some good results, I accidentally spilt some water on my work laptop and it immediately died on me...and there were no extra work laptops available when I ran to the IT office for assistance. Cue to me suddenly just turning into weepy, sniffling, blubbering mess right there in front of our very perplexed Head IT Specialist like a total buffoon; I think a bad mixture of PMS probably snuck into my excessive work anxiety that week and I just completely lost it at that very moment. It didn’t help that several coworkers happened to see me leaving and attempting to compose myself after my random little outburst...((because the moment someone asks you when you’re in that state, “What’s wrong?”, is usually the moment when you get even more weepy and weird!))

So yeah...I feel ya there. Still cringing over that incident.

I'm sorry that happened to you ☹ The worst is trying to to hide it from others. I'm pretty pale, and it seemed like it took forever for all the redness from crying to go away. 

My co worker told me that she cried at work before and my friend also told me the same. 

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