Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda - General Discussion

[atlantaloves]

oh oh oh and when Joe just tells anybody with a gun that he is trying to arrest, that he will just flat ass kill them if they don't give him their gun in that low sexy voice...that is just the coolest, gangster shit, cause baby, or should I say, my dear, it works. That article was fantastic. I love you Joe. Never fired a gun, gets it done. 

Edited May 28, 2018 by atlantaloves
spelling

[mmecorday]

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The poisoned teacher was different from the norm. Glad she survived, but can't imagine what she went through.

I watched this yesterday after I got home from work. I really thought she was going to die because she was being talked about in the past tense. The pain that poor woman endured must have been unbearable.

[Fable]

On ID go, there was an interview with Kenda hosted by Tony Harris where Kenda talked about a book he had written and shared some insight to his days on the force.  During the last few minutes, they brought out Joe’s wife Kathy.  They are an interesting couple to say the least.  I don’t know if this showed up on the ID channel or just ID go.  Apparently it was from an event called ID con. 

[LegalParrot81]

On 5/29/2018 at 8:17 PM, Fable said:

On ID go, there was an interview with Kenda hosted by Tony Harris where Kenda talked about a book he had written and shared some insight to his days on the force.  During the last few minutes, they brought out Joe’s wife Kathy.  They are an interesting couple to say the least.  I don’t know if this showed up on the ID channel or just ID go.  Apparently it was from an event called ID con. 

The book is a good read.  

[EAG46]

"The trouble with opening the doors to the general public is that the general public walks in."  

[smellicat]

On 3/3/2016 at 9:25 PM, Dittohead said:

Best quote I have heard is, "Jerry is a jerk, but being an asshole is not against the law. If it were, we'd have to erect a fence around the state of Colorado and inform everyone they're in custody."  

What episode was this from???

[Dittohead]

On 8/27/2018 at 1:23 AM, smellicat said:

What episode was this from???

I don't remember, but it might have been from Season 3, Episode 4: Run for Your Life.  I tried searching for that quote and that episode came up as a possibility.

[smellicat]

Thanks alot.  I remember hearing that quote and thinking "that sounds so Kenda." Just couldn't remember the episode...

[smellicat]

Yay! Thought it was an episode from about the middle of the first 2 or 3 series, just couldn't remember which one.  Checked the available "Homicide Hunter" series on my "ROKU" stick this morning and your opinion was absolutely right.  Mystery solved.  Thanks very much.

[atlantaloves]

A new season just started up last night and it was a goodie.  Well Well Well, Where are you guys?

[Dittohead]

You're welcome !

[mmecorday]

I did watch the new episode Wednesday and it was one of Joe's first cases. So Carl Marino had his hair died coal black (LOL!). It was an interesting case, though. It was thought that a young woman had been the victim of a hit and run when actually she was already dead when the vehicle ran over her.

Edited August 31, 2018 by mmecorday

[andromeda331]

Yeah she died of diabetic coma but she didn't know she had diabetes. Is that possible? That's a disease that you have to take insulin for. Wouldn't she have had problems before that? Ended up in the ER where someone would have noticed? Unless it was more recent development? 

[BookWitch]

I thought that too. The woman had 2 kids. Blood sugar is one of the first things they check. I suppose it came on later. But she should have been too sick to party. 

Edited September 1, 2018 by BookWitch
word

[meowmommy]

Gee, can you tell they film in Georgia, when everyone who supposedly lives in Colorado has a southern accent!

5 hours ago, mmecorday said:

So Carl Marino had his hair died coal black (LOL!).

Didn't look coal black on my TV, but still darker than usual.  Carl must be aging in reverse, right?

It was a semi-interesting case, but as I've thought before, Joe more than likely gave the producers his most interesting cases in the early seasons.

[Dittohead]

Someone please 'splain something to me.  In the beginning of the episode, it was two people, a guy and his girlfriend, who accidentally ran over the already-dead woman.   Next thing you know, it's just a guy all by himself telling his story to Kenda.  No mention of the girlfriend, no reference to her the entire rest of the episode.

[Schnickelfritz]

25 minutes ago, Dittohead said:

Someone please 'splain something to me.  In the beginning of the episode, it was two people, a guy and his girlfriend, who accidentally ran over the already-dead woman.   Next thing you know, it's just a guy all by himself telling his story to Kenda.  No mention of the girlfriend, no reference to her the entire rest of the episode.

The couple in the pick up truck (Larry and Cheryl) actually were passing the guy (Charles) who hit the already dead woman (Wanda). Cheryl said "Oh my God, I think he just hit somebody" I thought she said "WE hit someone" but I just rewatched it. I was as confused as you were.

Edited September 1, 2018 by Schnickelfritz

[Colleenna]

On 8/31/2018 at 4:58 PM, andromeda331 said:

Yeah she died of diabetic coma but she didn't know she had diabetes. Is that possible? That's a disease that you have to take insulin for. Wouldn't she have had problems before that? Ended up in the ER where someone would have noticed? Unless it was more recent development? 

Not all diabetics take insulin. 

[Dittohead]

Thank you, Schnickelfritz. You have explained it very well.

[andromeda331]

3 hours ago, Colleenna said:

Not all diabetics take insulin. 

Do they have to take any forms of medication? Or would she be able to control it with a diet? I'm still confused on how she didn't know she had diabetes but ended up in a diabetic coma. She was never sick before that point to end up in an ER where they would have checked her blood sugar? She had kids and had been in prison and it never came up? Is it possible for her to be newly diabetic, not know but the only sign except for erratic behavior when drinking is the diabetic coma that kills her?  

[SunnyBeBe]

I didn't see it, but, will offer what I know. I'm Type I diabetic. She could have been Type I or II.  Some people who have diabetes chose to ignore it and may stop taking their pills for Type II and insulin for Type I.  You'd be surprised at how often that happens.  OR, if could have been undiagnosed. 

 Those with Type I are often called Juvenile, since many get Type I as teens, but, it can happen at any age and is called Adult Onset, but, still Type I.  But, regardless of the type, if the blood sugars go super high and stay high for a long time, usually weeks, the person may develop Ketoacidosis. It's really painful, I've had it once.  It's so bad, that a doctor once told that if I had it, I'd know, because I would want to go to a hospital.  He was right. They caught mine in time, but, still in hospital for 3 days. It can be fatal.  I think if it's untreated, you pass out and it's called diabetic coma. (See link)  Another  type of diabetic coma is referred to when you take TOO much insulin and your blood sugars go too low. That's potentially fatal too.  Probably more information than you wanted, but, I like to give info when possible, since diabetes is so common, but, still so little is known by the public. 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/diabetic-coma/symptoms-causes/syc-20371475

Is it just me or is ID channel airing a lot of Kenda lately?

Edited September 7, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[mmecorday]

Quote

Is it just me or is ID channel airing a lot of Kenda lately?

That's fine with me. I love this show. :)

The new episode that aired Wednesday was a bit different. It was about an entire family that had been murdered and it was suspected that an intruder had killed them and wanted to make it look like the mother killed her children and her husband and then committed suicide. At first the investigators didn't think the mother's death was a suicide because she was shot squarely in the forehead and she was still clutching her gun. It is rare that someone shoots himself or herself that way. But then the investigators learn that the mother has had some mental issues. She was also worried that the peace negotiated between Israel and Egypt signaled the End Times (this was 1979). Her daughter was also experimenting with drugs and that troubled her. She thought since the world was ending anyway, that she'd just kill off herself and her family and head Armageddon off at the pass. What happened? Well, the world didn't end. There was no reason any of them had to die.

I cannot image the nightmares Joe Kenda and his colleagues have witnessing crime scenes such as these.

[Annber03]

2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Is it just me or is ID channel airing a lot of Kenda lately?

Yeah, I've been seeing a lot of episodes the last couple Wednesdays in particular. But since the new season just started, that would probably explain the little mini-marathons they've been doing. Added promotion, and all that.

1 hour ago, mmecorday said:

I cannot image the nightmares Joe Kenda and his colleagues have witnessing crime scenes such as these.

Agreed. Especially when they were analyzing what the kids witnessed and went through before being killed. Dear god. 

His thing at the end about coming home to his own wife and kids after having to work a case like that was especially poignant. Such an eerie, disturbing story. 

[LegalParrot81]

1 hour ago, mmecorday said:

I cannot image the nightmares Joe Kenda and his colleagues have witnessing crime scenes such as these.

He said in his book that he suffers from PTSD and continues to have sleep issues.  

[andromeda331]

7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I didn't see it, but, will offer what I know. I'm Type I diabetic. She could have been Type I or II.  Some people who have diabetes chose to ignore it and may stop taking their pills for Type II and insulin for Type I.  You'd be surprised at how often that happens.  OR, if could have been undiagnosed. 

 Those with Type I are often called Juvenile, since many get Type I as teens, but, it can happen at any age and is called Adult Onset, but, still Type I.  But, regardless of the type, if the blood sugars go super high and stay high for a long time, usually weeks, the person may develop Ketoacidosis. It's really painful, I've had it once.  It's so bad, that a doctor once told that if I had it, I'd know, because I would want to go to a hospital.  He was right. They caught mine in time, but, still in hospital for 3 days. It can be fatal.  I think if it's untreated, you pass out and it's called diabetic coma. (See link)  Another  type of diabetic coma is referred to when you take TOO much insulin and your blood sugars go too low. That's potentially fatal too.  Probably more information than you wanted, but, I like to give info when possible, since diabetes is so common, but, still so little is known by the public. 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/diabetic-coma/symptoms-causes/syc-20371475

Is it just me or is ID channel airing a lot of Kenda lately?

Thank you. That was very helpful and made a lot of sense.

6 hours ago, mmecorday said:

That's fine with me. I love this show. :)

The new episode that aired Wednesday was a bit different. It was about an entire family that had been murdered and it was suspected that an intruder had killed them and wanted to make it look like the mother killed her children and her husband and then committed suicide. At first the investigators didn't think the mother's death was a suicide because she was shot squarely in the forehead and she was still clutching her gun. It is rare that someone shoots himself or herself that way. But then the investigators learn that the mother has had some mental issues. She was also worried that the peace negotiated between Israel and Egypt signaled the End Times (this was 1979). Her daughter was also experimenting with drugs and that troubled her. She thought since the world was ending anyway, that she'd just kill off herself and her family and head Armageddon off at the pass. What happened? Well, the world didn't end. There was no reason any of them had to die.

I cannot image the nightmares Joe Kenda and his colleagues have witnessing crime scenes such as these.

That was just crazy. To see a peace negotiation and think the world is ending? So of course the only solution is to kill your family and yourself? That is so messed up. I keep thinking of the kids. Waking up to realize your mother just shot you. Or to arrive home to your mother pointing a gun at you. I can't imaging having to see what Kenda's seen that's got to be so hard. 

[SunnyBeBe]

Man, that case sounds terrible.  Some of the worst cases are those with violence and murder within the home by family members. 

I think it takes a certain kind of person to do that work.  When I worked in law enforcement, (mainly office position) I still had many dreams about violence. It was pretty troubling.  They left when I left that job. 

[meowmommy]

On 9/7/2018 at 10:33 AM, Annber03 said:

His thing at the end about coming home to his own wife and kids after having to work a case like that was especially poignant. Such an eerie, disturbing story. 

Not that I want to see a full-blown breakdown, but it would be nice if Carl had just the slightest acting range, to be able to convey a smidge of shock and horror at witnessing such a tragic scene.  We only know how these cases traumatized Joe because he tells us they did, and because common sense tells us they have to be traumatizing.

On 9/7/2018 at 9:14 AM, mmecorday said:

She thought since the world was ending anyway, that she'd just kill off herself and her family and head Armageddon off at the pass. What happened? Well, the world didn't end. There was no reason any of them had to die.

Unfortunately there are a lot of religious nutcases who aren't content just to jump off the cliff, but have to take everyone else with them. 

[Annber03]

3 minutes ago, meowmommy said:

Not that I want to see a full-blown breakdown, but it would be nice if Carl had just the slightest acting range, to be able to convey a smidge of shock and horror at witnessing such a tragic scene.  We only know how these cases traumatized Joe because he tells us they did, and because common sense tells us they have to be traumatizing.

Yeah, even just a flinch and turning away, or putting a hand up to shield their eyes, or something of that sort would get the point across. No matter how many cases investigators work involving murdered children, I imagine most of them still probably turn away and need a moment whenever they come across a new crime scene of that sort, especially if it's as graphic as this one was. I would think they'd be scared of getting to a point where seeing dead children didn't faze them, you know? 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, meowmommy said:

Not that I want to see a full-blown breakdown, but it would be nice if Carl had just the slightest acting range, to be able to convey a smidge of shock and horror at witnessing such a tragic scene.  We only know how these cases traumatized Joe because he tells us they did, and because common sense tells us they have to be traumatizing.

Unfortunately there are a lot of religious nutcases who aren't content just to jump off the cliff, but have to take everyone else with them. 

 

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

Yeah, even just a flinch and turning away, or putting a hand up to shield their eyes, or something of that sort would get the point across. No matter how many cases investigators work involving murdered children, I imagine most of them still probably turn away and need a moment whenever they come across a new crime scene of that sort, especially if it's as graphic as this one was. I would think they'd be scared of getting to a point where seeing dead children didn't faze them, you know? 

That would be nice. It shouldn't be too hard either to act horrified at seeing children dead or entire family dead. Joe has said how much some cases effect him and I think one or two episodes showed him or younger him unable to sleep because of things he seen. How do you handle something like that? I worked in medical insurance for a couple years and it depressed the hell out of me talking to people who had cancer or their child needed a test or their baby. That was just talking to customers over the phone I can't imagine arriving at a crime scene and finding entire family dead. Learning the mother shot them all or finding the pregnant mother and her two young sons dead. How can you not be effected?  Joe mentioned his wife always knew when the crime he was called out on involved a child just by how he looked when he came home. A lot probably if not most probably do end up with PTSD.    

[DCWebster1972]

Karma is a bitch you can't go around being an animal like that and just get away with it probably the only thing the husband wishes is that he could have been the one to toss him out of it and I would want to be on the husband's jury because there is no way in hell I would send him to jail he should get a medal animals like that don't deserve to breed they need to be took out in the field and shot.

[mmecorday]

I agree with Joe. I think that the universe has a way of righting outrageous wrongs. Being tossed out of a 10-story window was too good for this bastard. I don't know how the members of the jury that found him not guilty sleep at night. I think I would be haunted by the images of those murdered children for the rest of my days.

[LegalParrot81]

On 10/16/2014 at 5:12 AM, Captanne said:

I saw the "not guilty" coming -- there has to be at least one, right?

 

As a former litigator, one of my problems with "outrage" when we're told by television (or the media in general) about lawsuits that turn out in a surprising way is that, usually, we simply don't have all the facts.  It's been -- to some extent -- spun by the storyteller to get the "gasp" response he or she is looking for.  Lots of fist shaking and righteous indignation -- but without the whole story.  We don't know what those jurors heard.  (FOX News makes its billions doing exactly this -- lots of "the sky is falling" without the whole accurate story.  I don't care about them politically -- they can say what they please, macht nicht to me -- but their pearl-clutching without the whole story gets boring.)

 

So, I reserve judgment on the jury in this case.  However, as presented to us by the show, it did look like a mistake on their part.

I think you would appreciate Joe's book regarding this case.  It's interesting.

[LegalParrot81]

On 9/8/2018 at 10:05 PM, meowmommy said:

Not that I want to see a full-blown breakdown, but it would be nice if Carl had just the slightest acting range, to be able to convey a smidge of shock and horror at witnessing such a tragic scene.  We only know how these cases traumatized Joe because he tells us they did, and because common sense tells us they have to be traumatizing.

Forget breakdown, I'd just like to see emotion period.  Carl is as flat as board.  Kenda's got loads of personality and was not meek in the least. 

Carl needs to remember, this is Kenda, not Joe "just the facts ma'am" Friday.

[mmecorday]

I agree. Sometimes the corpses convey more emotion than Carl does.

I watched an interesting episode yesterday. These two neighbors living in a middle-class Colorado Springs neighborhood were having an ongoing dispute, mostly over the one neighbor's kids playing ball in the street. The perturbed neighbors were an elderly African-American woman and her twenty-something daughter. When the boys' foam football struck the elder woman's car, she confiscated the ball. (I probably would have done the same thing.) Things escalated and led to the boys' father storming over to the ladies' house and threatening them with bodily harm. The younger woman, out of fear for her life and the life of her mother, shot the man from her second-story bedroom window. The man died days later from his injuries and she was charged with first degree murder. She was found not guilty of the charge by reason of self defense.

[CarolinaPam]

It's sad that I have to turn on the closed captioning to understand the words that come out of the side of Carl Marino's mouth.  Could they not find an actor who actually talks instead of mumbling rapidly?  He's just awful.

[AntiBeeSpray]

Found a really nice interview he did with Vulture back in August: http://www.vulture.com/2018/08/joe-kenda-homicide-hunter-investigation-discovery.html

[Annber03]

That was a good interview. I liked his comments about profanity-seriously, I do get a kick out of how we're hearing about all these horrible crimes, but god forbid anyone hear a cuss word! It amuses me to think he swears more than what we see on this show, but yeah, given the job he did, it makes sense he would. 

I like that he takes the time to make sure it's okay with the victims' loved ones that he talks about their case on the show, even though he doesn't really have to. That's cool. His respect for his job and the people he helped comes through so strongly here. I admire that. And I'm glad doing this show has helped him work through the painful memories and stress this job gave him, too. That case that led him to retire...yeah, I think most people would probably have that reaction. Eeesh. 

Quote

It’s of no interest to me if they make fun of me. I always say, “by the way, how’s your show doing?” That usually stops that conversation.

LOL. 

Thanks for sharing that link, that was a nice read. I totally read the answers in his voice :p. 

[AntiBeeSpray]

On 10/10/2018 at 5:13 PM, Annber03 said:

That was a good interview. I liked his comments about profanity-seriously, I do get a kick out of how we're hearing about all these horrible crimes, but god forbid anyone hear a cuss word! It amuses me to think he swears more than what we see on this show, but yeah, given the job he did, it makes sense he would. 

I like that he takes the time to make sure it's okay with the victims' loved ones that he talks about their case on the show, even though he doesn't really have to. That's cool. His respect for his job and the people he helped comes through so strongly here. I admire that. And I'm glad doing this show has helped him work through the painful memories and stress this job gave him, too. That case that led him to retire...yeah, I think most people would probably have that reaction. Eeesh. 

LOL. 

Thanks for sharing that link, that was a nice read. I totally read the answers in his voice :p. 

You're welcome.  I did as well. :p  

Same here.  He seems to be a decent person, far from perfect, but who is? At least he tried and that's what counts, and he knew what his limit was and retired.

[mmecorday]

Did anyone see the episode about the elderly African-American woman who was found dead in her heavily hoarded home? It wasn't a homicide (she died of natural causes), but when the investigators were looking for clues in her home, they discovered the mummified corpse of her sister reclining on a couch. She had been dead for years. Her sister didn't report her death so that she could keep cashing her social security checks. I just can't imagine living in a home with all that filth AND a dead body.

[Annber03]

Ooh, yes, I've seen that one before. I can't imagine living like that, either, but she clearly seemed to be struggling in many ways, and this isolated, hoarder type of lifestyle was the tragic result. Just a really sad, haunting case. 

[andromeda331]

Very sad case. 

[Annber03]

Dear god, the first story in tonight's episode. So bizarre and so awful. That poor woman. 

I feel for the guys who found her, too. What a terrifying sight to see. Thank goodness, at least, that they were able arrive in time to put the fire out, and she could go to a hospital and get a little bit of care in her final hours. At least she didn't die alone in the middle of the woods. 

[andromeda331]

25 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Dear god, the first story in tonight's episode. So bizarre and so awful. That poor woman. 

I feel for the guys who found her, too. What a terrifying sight to see. Thank goodness, at least, that they were able arrive in time to put the fire out, and she could go to a hospital and get a little bit of care in her final hours. At least she didn't die alone in the middle of the woods. 

It really was. I was very surprised that the poor woman set herself on fire. I even remarked in the beginning when they were wondering what kind of crime the had that it couldn't be suicide because women don't kill themselves that way. Its usually pills or slit wrists. That poor, poor woman. And the poor, poor men who found her. How horrifying to come across that.  

[Annber03]

29 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

I was very surprised that the poor woman set herself on fire. I even remarked in the beginning when they were wondering what kind of crime the had that it couldn't be suicide because women don't kill themselves that way. Its usually pills or slit wrists.

Exactly! Most suicides in general are not that elaborate and dramatic, really-even most men wouldn't think to do something like that. Usually when somebody does kill themselves by fire, it's done as a political statement. 

But of course, there's always exceptions to the rule, as it were, and this was definitely one hell of an exception. 

[andromeda331]

5 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Exactly! Most suicides in general are not that elaborate and dramatic, really-even most men wouldn't think to do something like that. Usually when somebody does kill themselves by fire, it's done as a political statement. 

But of course, there's always exceptions to the rule, as it were, and this was definitely one hell of an exception. 

That's right! They usually are political statements! Suicides generally just want it over. Which is why they pick a gun, jumping off something, pills, slit wrists etc. Something that will most likely cause immediate death rather then something then leave them in hours or days of unbelievable pain and then die. Clearly poor Laura was one hell of an exception. The poor men who found her I wish they had said how they dealt with seeing something like that. How do you deal with something like that? Finding a poor woman on fire and later learning she probably had mental problems and did it to herself. 

[Annber03]

8 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Suicides generally just want it over. Which is why they pick a gun, jumping off something, pills, slit wrists etc. Something that will most likely cause immediate death rather then something then leave them in hours or days of unbelievable pain and then die.  

Yeah, people say the same thing when somebody dies of arsenic poisoning and things of that sort, too. The only explanation for not picking a suicide method that would take you out right away that would make sense to me is if perhaps the person is second-guessing their decision to kill themselves, and hopes that somebody will see them suffering and help them. Maybe on some level this woman might've simply wanted to harm herself instead, and it wound up going too far? I dunno. 

Quote

The poor men who found her I wish they had said how they dealt with seeing something like that. How do you deal with something like that? Finding a poor woman on fire and later learning she probably had mental problems and did it to herself. 

Agreed. The one guy talking about seeing her eyes...he looked so haunted just recalling the memory. I can't imagine the kinds of nightmares they may have had over the years because of this. 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Yeah, people say the same thing when somebody dies of arsenic poisoning and things of that sort, too. The only explanation for not picking a suicide method that would take you out right away that would make sense to me is if perhaps the person is second-guessing their decision to kill themselves, and hopes that somebody will see them suffering and help them. Maybe on some level this woman might've simply wanted to harm herself instead, and it wound up going too far? I dunno. 

That is possible. There are some suicidals who do second guess or ones who in last second change the minds like with a gun flinch or pull the hand away at the last second or as they go to shoot themselves. Maybe Laura second guessed herself or hoped someone would interven since she was mentally unable to stop herself? Its very possible.
 

Quote

 

Agreed. The one guy talking about seeing her eyes...he looked so haunted just recalling the memory. I can't imagine the kinds of nightmares they may have had over the years because of this. 

 

Yes, he did. That poor man both of them. I hope they got some kind of help for it. Kenda's remarked that he developed PTSD from the things he'd seen as detective. 

[andromeda331]

Two new episodes tonight. The second one was the Heather Church case!  That poor girl. Her poor family. I hadn't thought of that one in years. It was all over the news back then. The only good thing to come out of it was finding out her murderer was a serial killer. Very weird of the guy to mail a letter to the detective alerting him to more murders. How stupid of it were the cops in his hometown who didn't even bother to investigate him when his name came up in two women? One missing and one murdered? At least take a look. But oh no because he came from a good family. So? And amazingly amount of murderers come from good families. Are you that busy you can't spare the time to go check out a possible lead? Not even after all other leads (if there were any) didn't pan out? 

[formerlyfreedom]

Watching the new episode tonight with Joe's wife and kids on it. I would totally watch a show based on the stories of Nurse Kathy. That is all.

[Annber03]

I got a kick out of seeing their old family and wedding photos :). And him saying that his wife being tough is one of the reasons he fell in love with her. Aw. 

I also liked how he acknowledged his own flaws and imperfections and mistakes throughout their marriage, and I can very much sympathize with both of them during their fight over stuff like who helps the kids during emergencies and whatnot. I get her frustration, especially since she's got a busy job of her own to juggle, and of course, I also get why it's hard for him to just drop everything with his job. I'm glad that they managed to work through those rough patches, though-it's clear their marriage is stronger for it.