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S02.E08: Episode 8


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Am I missing something with Samantha?  She's pretty... but so are both of the Ashley's.  To me, if it wasn't for her personality, Ashley I. is the prettiest girl there.  Samantha has that ageless look of someone who has gotten too much work done.  I'm not saying she has... just something about her face seems off.  She must be stunning in person though.

I agree, KardAshley is the prettiest in my opinion. And the few times they've shown her interacting with other cast members and NOT talking about her own problems I've even found her entertaining. But the second she starts talking about herself and wailing over some guy she went on one date with and kissed twice and now her world is ending and the constant crying, blech.

  • Love 3
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The weirdest part is Ashley saying that Jared "ruined" her for other guys. Now maybe like Nick, Jared has some special powers that are only apparent in person because everyone talks about how perfect he is, but is she for real? All of BiP takes 3 weeks so she's known him for a few days at most, and her life is ruined? I know that she's being dramatic and exaggerating, but there must be something we didn't see. Did producers tell her that he was in love with her? Are the other women completely misreading the signals and telling her that Jared's really into her? Given all this "kiss me like you kissed Kaitlyn"/not being over her talk I suspect that someone else is influencing this. (In addition, to her normal drama queen-ness.)

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The only truly interesting thing about this season is that it's confirmed just how insulated and incestuous the "community" of former/potential-future contestants for Bachelor/ette truly is.

 

At this point, it's confined largely to former contestants and their friends and/or family.  I'd bet that very few contestants arrive at taping without having had a prior relationship (either in-person or cyber) with others on the cast.  And, of course, when it comes to BiP that figure's 100%.

 

I'm sure the contestants would say this is because they "share a bond" of having "survived the crucible" of being on this show.  But it's really just a pathetic, grown-up (in the biological sense only) version of the "cool kids' table" from the high school cafeteria.

 

The funny thing is that TPTB don't want to discourage that in-breeding, because it leads to the sort of Joe/Samantha and Kaitlyn/Nick drama that the show thrives on now.

 

But they can't outright acknowledge it, because they want to maintain the fiction that each Bachelor/ette cast consists of "the most eligible men/women from around the country", rather than "the most available rec-league teammates/gym-buddies of our former contestants."

Yeah, I agree.  As reality tv has taken over America, if you are ever associated with a show, I'm sure there is some kind of alumni networking that occurs.  Backstage passes to tapings of American Idol, Amazing Race conventions with past contestants, etc.  Bachelor/ette is no different.  I know a woman who was on the show for a millisecond years ago.  She got booted off on the first episode.  Nobody would even recognize her or know that she was on the show.  Yet every year, she goes to all the Bachelor reunion events/parties and posts her pictures all over social media.  No different than being in a fraternity or sorority, I suppose.

 

Samantha may not be very nice as a person, but I do think she is stunning.  And I'm reading on the internet now that her uncle is the founder of 5 Hour Energy drink and is loaded.  I think her father is involved in the company as well, so I'm sure that she is well-off.  I don't see how she would find any of these guys on Paradise remotely interesting.  Joe Bailey is an insurance agent from Kentucky.  Poor sap never had a chance with this loaded beauty pageant contestant.  She needs to look to Hollywood for her next boyfriend - which she apparently has done before, as she's dated Jeremy Piven (but then again, who hasn't dated Jeremy Piven?).

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Is everyone given a yearbook of past Bachelor/ette contestants and then they can scope everyone out and do their own personal Hot or Not?

We saw JUBLIA showing head shots of the guys to her daughter, so the assumption is that girls got head shots and names of the guys and guys got head shots and names of the girls before filming.  But probably no specific dates when people would be there.  And not every contestant ever filmed, just the ones contracted to this specific cycle. 

 

Obviously they had some time before filming to make whatever contact they wanted, as Sam had time to personally visit Nick and rack up all those texts with Joe.

 

There was nothing random or any mystery amongst the contestants about who was going to be there.  They all knew who, just not necessarily when.  That's why none of the women said they were hoping to meet Arie, or none of the guys were hoping to meet Britt. 

Edited by leighdear
  • Love 4
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I accidentally glance-watched 10 minutes of this... Parade of the Idiots (Tropical). And so I must now proclaim: You, intrepid travellers in treks mediatic, I salute you. I salute your intestinal fortitude in exploring the Isle of Abominations (Tropical). I especially salute the person known as Stephanie Green who must, every week, swallow every ideal pertaining to relationships and other such foolishness in order to report (in detail!) of her adventures among the Walking Stupid. Kudos, Woman of Courage, kudos indeed.

And now I must repair to the Vomitorium and and by a concentrated course of purging regain my (quickly waning, alas) hopes for humanity. And then, perhaps, a nunnery.

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Alapaki quote:

But it's really just a pathetic, grown-up (in the biological sense only) version of the "cool kids' table" from the high school cafeteria.

The video posted here of Nick winning Bachelor Pad 3 just reminded me of that. He had been shunned throughout as not one of the cool kids and so when Michael (always treated like the most popular boy in school) went home, his girl-friend Rachel had been all,"Eww do I have to pretend to like that Nick guy now? He's such a nerd!"

I didn't know Samantha was rich but I already agreed with Joe that she was way out of his league. If I try to forget their personalities, I would give Samantha a 10, Tenley and Clare 9, both Ashleys 8, Jade and Megan 7, everyone else a 6. Those are TV scores. They would all have the men falling off their stools at the local Mugs&Jugs. What's needed is a show with all these women and the guy who wrote, "He's Just Not That Into You," because everyone is a prime .example of what he calls "Wasting the pretty." Tenley should have a nice billionaire by now.

ETA, Tufar, This board is our way of purging. We watch to purge. We have sort of a trash TV bulimia.

Edited by JudyObscure
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Oh, I know, dear JudyObscure... if nothing else, your nick tells the tale, haha. But still... there *is* admirable fortitude (not to mention considerable brain-wear) in watching the drivel week in and week out. And yes, haha, I *have* been guilty of the same. But this particular series kinda took the cake, I, not unknown for bravery and attendant snark-mojo... couldn't do it. Could not! Me!. I turned away at the pass, turned tail, chickened out. *Anything* but this, said I, and watched some other idiocy instead, I forget what. Maybe I watched some fine dancers make fools of themselves.

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"Justin looks like a boy band member from 1996.  His shirt did look gross but I think I did hear him say it was raining

 

Omg...yes he does. I don't find him that attractive at all. Those big lips somehow don't look right on his face.

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I was trying to figure out why Sam and GuadalaJuelia would be friends.    Then it hit me: Julululeelia is her DUFF.   Unfortunately, she's too dumb to realize she's DUFFing, therefore losing out on the true power that smart DUFFs wield.   Basically, she holds Sam's purse and pays for her own drinks. 

 

I think Justin is cute, especially with darker hair.  

 

Oh,  and the luchador match as a date is a new low.    More than likely faulty if no A/C,   fat guys in the ring and in the  audience sweating.    Sounds like a shitty time,    but Jujube was sweating even more than the fat guys.      I'd rather visit a junk shop in Des Moines, thanks.   

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So do Juelia and Mikey actually like each other or do they both just desperately want to stay on the show and this is the only way?  I just think they've decided this is the only way to find "love" by pretending to be a couple. Ick.

 

Sounds like Samantha tried to stack the deck by texting a bunch of the guys before the show.  I wonder if they know ahead of time what point they'll enter the show at?   I'm not sure she's actually interested in any of them.

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WORD!  Watching them kiss is just weird.  And then an overnight date?  Whaaa?  Really overnight?  And I can't get over Mikey's well "I'm a man" comment jeez my head is just spinning with the stupidity on this show. 

 

I think I heard her make a condition in that she said they could share the suite if he'd be a 'gentleman' -- and the next morning Mikey told the others that the two of them had "kept it classy" during their overnight-suite setup.

  • Love 4
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As if Sam's text message (we all know how well we can communicate in 140 characters)

I can text way more than 140 characters. Are there services that don't allow more than that? Texting isn't subject to Twitter rules. Sounded to me like they texted plenty.
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What's weird to me is why Sam and Joe exchanged 700 text messages, but it doesn't seem like they actually SPOKE on the phone?  WTF?!  Sam seemed to have no problems talking to Nick (and even meeting up with him?).  I would think after the first 50 or so messages, that you would actually pick up the phone.  Unless Sam made up some rule saying that they weren't allowed to actually speak to each other, but they could text.  I could see that happening, and as dumb as Joe is, he would go along with that.

 

It sounds like all the guys in Paradise know exactly who Sam is.  The one guy who was making the comment that Sam was an evil puppeteer and pulling strings was spot on.  When you are drop dead gorgeous, you can get a lot of guys to fall all goo goo gah gah over themselves.

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What's weird to me is why Sam and Joe exchanged 700 text messages, but it doesn't seem like they actually SPOKE on the phone?  WTF?!  Sam seemed to have no problems talking to Nick (and even meeting up with him?).  I would think after the first 50 or so messages, that you would actually pick up the phone.  Unless Sam made up some rule saying that they weren't allowed to actually speak to each other, but they could text.  I could see that happening, and as dumb as Joe is, he would go along with that.

 

It sounds like all the guys in Paradise know exactly who Sam is.  The one guy who was making the comment that Sam was an evil puppeteer and pulling strings was spot on.  When you are drop dead gorgeous, you can get a lot of guys to fall all goo goo gah gah over themselves.

 

Joe changed the story a million times but in half of them, he admitted to talking on the phone.

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One thing that bugs me is that Joe seemed to feel entitled to Sam's affection. Why did she owe him anything? They shared some text messages and a date. Just like Juelia seemed to feel entitled to Joe's affection after a single date. Do people really move this fast, that they believe one date means they are in love forever and ever? I suppose in the BiP universe, it just might. Joe was an ass. Juelia was a stage 5 clinger. Sam seems to, at the very least, be intimating to one or more men that she's all-in for them if they show up in Paradise. People are so stupid.

 

And another thing. Do any of these people know how to speak without mangling the English language or inserting verbal tics? It literally drives me frickin' um...crazy, if you know what I mean. Literally.

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Joe is a lost cause. Ashley I tells him to start fresh with Sam and compliment her by saying "you're pretty." Instead he asks her if she wants a s'more. Fast forward a few minutes and Justin is "conversating" with Sam and tells her "you're beautiful." He gets the girl! Well, at least until someone hotter comes along.

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And another thing. Do any of these people know how to speak without mangling the English language or inserting verbal tics? It literally drives me frickin' um...crazy, if you know what I mean. Literally.

I think part of the problem might be the copious amounts of alcohol they are consuming 24/7.

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Joe is a lost cause. Ashley I tells him to start fresh with Sam and compliment her by saying "you're pretty." Instead he asks her if she wants a s'more. Fast forward a few minutes and Justin is "conversating" with Sam and tells her "you're beautiful." He gets the girl! Well, at least until someone hotter comes along.

Yes, but Ashley's idea was so weird--"Pretend you're meeting for the first time, 'Hey, nice to meet you, what's your name? Where're you from?'" which he pretty much did, as she told him to, with the predictable stony-eyed response. (And, wow, does Joe look OLD! I missed his age, but to me he looks older than a lot of 40 year olds).

 

I was out last night but settled in to "On Demand" tonight with great expectations--I thought this was the last night of the season! When there were only 10 minutes left I realized this was not to be--that there's at least one more week of this (more?)--and they're going to be droning on about all the same things! Of course, I'll watch but I really don't know why. These people are of no interest (other than seeing Joe get dumped which was enjoyable). Juelia and Mikey in a FS in Guadalajara? Riiiggght. Samantha finally becoming a personality in BN (if, by "personality" one means "having guys chase her, leading them on, and still saying absolutely nothing of interest, ever.")  Jade and Tanner seem to have nothing in common and I believe they aren't in love at all, but just made a pact in advance to stay out of drama by playing a part.

 

I miss Clare and Ashley S's stories, Amber seems nice. Very over Ashley I's meltdowns. She's so pretty and is kind of fun if she weren't so unbelievably immature--and so hyper emotional over nothing all the time.  When nearly everyone is paired up (or "paired up") there seems so little point in bringing new people in. They have so little to choose from. Might be better to have 20 or whatever all living together from the beginning with some kind of elimination--maybe like the first season.

 

Is next week the end? Please?

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I think that Joe totally didn't get the "start over" thing.  To make it work, you have to start with, "Look, I'm really sorry, can we start over?"  If she's receptive, then you say, "Hi, my name is Joe and I'd like to get to know you better" or something like that.  You don't stick out your hand and say "My name is Joe".  It's out of context and kind of scary.  She's got to be wondering if he had some kind of psychotic break or amnesia.

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I think that Joe totally didn't get the "start over" thing. To make it work, you have to start with, "Look, I'm really sorry, can we start over?" If she's receptive, then you say, "Hi, my name is Joe and I'd like to get to know you better" or something like that. You don't stick out your hand and say "My name is Joe". It's out of context and kind of scary. She's got to be wondering if he had some kind of psychotic break or amnesia.

Exactly. It has to be done in a playful and charming sort of way. It was actually a good suggestion - not Ashley's fault Joe's a dead-eyed robot unable to execute it.

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Did I imagine it or did Joe chivalrously put down a towel for Ashley so she didn't get sand in her hoo-ha?

 

ETA: To use a better spelling for hoo-ha.

Edited by DeLurker
  • Love 11
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Did I imagine it or did Joe chivalrously put down a towel for Ashley so she didn't get sand in her hoo-haw?

No you didn't imagine it. I noticed that too. Almost like we might have saw shades of the human and funny side of Joe that the guys spoke of...almost.

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No you didn't imagine it. I noticed that too. Almost like we might have saw shades of the human and funny side of Joe that the guys spoke of...almost.

That is the thing with him.  Putting aside how he treated Juelia (because I could care less about that situation), I never understood why he was so mean and rude to everyone when he came in.  Even if he was waiting for Sam to come, why did he act so awkward about being around people when he had no issues making friends during his B'ette season?  I think most of the guys liked him, so I just don't get what he was doing or why he was acting like such an idiot.

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Thanks for confirming that - I was worried I had a brain seizure because in that moment I found him to be kinda funny and relaxed.  Plus Ashley I did not seem offended by her hoo-ha being brought up. 

 

ETA: SAA

Edited by DeLurker
  • Love 1
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One thing that bugs me is that Joe seemed to feel entitled to Sam's affection. Why did she owe him anything? They shared some text messages and a date. Just like Juelia seemed to feel entitled to Joe's affection after a single date. Do people really move this fast, that they believe one date means they are in love forever and ever? I suppose in the BiP universe, it just might. Joe was an ass. Juelia was a stage 5 clinger. Sam seems to, at the very least, be intimating to one or more men that she's all-in for them if they show up in Paradise. People are so stupid.

For Joe I think it's because he is a creep who does think he is entitled to the affection of the woman of his choice. Notice how she was suddenly a "bitch" once she didn't want to give him hand jobs in the pool anymore? Notice how he thinks she deserves to "crash and burn" if she refuses to give him hugs/kisses/said hand jobs? Dude's a total scuz. 

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For Joe I think it's because he is a creep who does think he is entitled to the affection of the woman of his choice. Notice how she was suddenly a "bitch" once she didn't want to give him hand jobs in the pool anymore? Notice how he thinks she deserves to "crash and burn" if she refuses to give him hugs/kisses/said hand jobs? Dude's a total scuz.

 

He is very extreme--a very black or white kinda guy.  I've meet men like him before and it's best to just stay very, very far away from them.  They usually have a very bad and quick temper.  They come across as very charming & sweet at first and then turn on a dime.  YIKES =(

 

I think I heard her make a condition in that she said they could share the suite if he'd be a 'gentleman' -- and the next morning Mikey told the others that the two of them had "kept it classy" during their overnight-suite setup.

I've been thinking about this Mikey & Juelia thing and I believe these people get paid to be on this show...x amount of dollars per day I would say so the ideal thing to do would be to stay as long as you can to simply collect as much money as you can.  If Juelia and Mikey have some sort of deal worked out where that is the case then more power to them!  As long as both parties are aware of what's going on then totes just ride it out til the end.  I like both Mikey & Juelia and there little conversation at the end of the episode about Mikey being "such a girl" was funny to watch.  Hooray to them

 

  • Love 1
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I'm assuming the producers made Joe and Ashley "commiserate in misery." (Psst, Ash, "misery" is the root word of "commiserate," so you don't need to add that, but props on using your SAT words.) Joe wasn't receptive when the producers first made Ashley approach him and that's why her misery was compounded when he wouldn't commiserate with her. So they must have had a talk with him that he needed to talk with her since most of their footage so far had been him talking to producers or hidden camera footage. And that's why it was a perfect camera set up with him sitting on the log with Ashley's log in full frame waiting for her entrance. That's probably why he was such a gentleman protecting Ashley's hoo-ha from sand like a gallant knight or lord laying his cape across a puddle for the lady to cross. Meaning, he actually knew he was being filmed this time.

  • Love 4
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For Joe I think it's because he is a creep who does think he is entitled to the affection of the woman of his choice. Notice how she was suddenly a "bitch" once she didn't want to give him hand jobs in the pool anymore? Notice how he thinks she deserves to "crash and burn" if she refuses to give him hugs/kisses/said hand jobs? Dude's a total scuz.

Much like the tantrum he had when Kaitlyn rejected him. I assumed it was a bad edit, but seeing the way he's behaving now, I guess this is just Joe being Joe.
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Dirty Bubble quote:

They usually have a very bad and quick temper.  They come across as very charming & sweet at first and then turn on a dime.  YIKES =(

 

I was thinking about how Joe is an insurance salesman and how terrifying it would be to end up alone with him in my home.  He would come in all fake smiles and "What a lovely home, what a cute little weiner dog, such a rare and exotic breed."  Until he realized I wasn't going to buy any insurance. Then it would be all dead eyes and comments about how many rodeos I'd  been to. Of course, it's probably worse when he makes a sale and goes back to the office talking about how he made someone his bitch.

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AshleyS is not faking being quirky for the show.  Though I think it is an affect, it is a genuine part of her personality that she has cultivated.  Dan's decision not to go further with her was because of her "out there" side.  

 

What a stupid show.

 

Juelia is doing the same thing to Mikey that Joe did to her.  She wants to stay on to see who else is coming.  Mikey is going to be hurt for the second time.  Oy  

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While these guys are gazing at the holy hotness that is Sam, are they not noticing the dreadful, horrible, soulless, manipulative piece of shit that lives inside that hotness? I don't get it. I really don't. I understand that men are visual and all, but who wants to cuddle up with the devil?

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While these guys are gazing at the holy hotness that is Sam, are they not noticing the dreadful, horrible, soulless, manipulative piece of shit that lives inside that hotness? I don't get it. I really don't. I understand that men are visual and all, but who wants to cuddle up with the devil?

Based on my HS days, a significant percentage.

  • Love 8
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While these guys are gazing at the holy hotness that is Sam, are they not noticing the dreadful, horrible, soulless, manipulative piece of shit that lives inside that hotness? I don't get it. I really don't. I understand that men are visual and all, but who wants to cuddle up with the devil?

 

They really just want to fuck her.  

  • Love 3
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Ashley's idea was so weird--"Pretend you're meeting for the first time, 'Hey, nice to meet you, what's your name? Where're you from?'" which he pretty much did, as she told him to, with the predictable stony-eyed response.

 

 

Talk about the blind leading the blind. That was an epically bad idea that was even worse when Joe tried to execute it than I was expecting. Hey Ashley I. and Joe, here’s a short list of what NOT to do when you’re interested in someone romantically:

 

- Tell them they’re out of your league

- Prominently display a complete lack of confidence

- Constantly tell them how hot they are (a little is flattering, a lot is creepy and pathetic)

- Whine about how no one you like ever likes you back

- Cry constantly

- Threaten them

- Stalk them

- Refuse to take no for an answer

 

Shall I go on? There seems to be a complete lack of understanding among these folks that just because you want something (or someone) doesn’t mean you’re entitled to it (or them). I think it’s tied into our reality TV culture. How many reality show contestants have we seen utter some version of, “I want this very badly, therefore I should have it.” Life doesn’t work that way, and love certainly doesn’t.

  • Love 8
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I think that Joe totally didn't get the "start over" thing.  To make it work, you have to start with, "Look, I'm really sorry, can we start over?"  If she's receptive, then you say, "Hi, my name is Joe and I'd like to get to know you better" or something like that.  You don't stick out your hand and say "My name is Joe".  It's out of context and kind of scary.  She's got to be wondering if he had some kind of psychotic break or amnesia.

 

Which is another strike against Joe because that approach is straight out of a Saved by the Bell episode.  The one where Zack and Tori got off to a rocky start and they agreed to "start over."  C'mon, man.  Zack Morris gave you the blueprint!

  • Love 1
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Samantha may not be very nice as a person, but I do think she is stunning. .....She needs to look to Hollywood for her next boyfriend - which she apparently has done before, as she's dated Jeremy Piven (but then again, who hasn't dated Jeremy Piven?).

Nooooo!  She has dated The Piv?  He is known as the lowest of the low. I guess she travels in circles with people who treat their dates poorly.

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fairly boring episode imo~~to much Jublia

I got 2 hours of sleep since I binged Bachelor Pad 3 and had to get up early for work. I had already seen BP3 but had to re-watch it after seeing that AWESOME ending again (thanks you all). Nick had the most honest and true speech after winning BP. Erica Rose (sp?) and Chris B were interesting (they weren't a couple but were interesting castmates). Bachelor Pad was so much better than BiP imo but maybe because this season of BiP hasn't been that great.

I am so over the black and white portrayal of Jublia and Joe. They both suck and so does Sam. I use to like Dan but not anymore--he just wants to bang Sam despite all the drama he has seen. Also he is nosy, gossipy and tries to play hero (maybe he is trying to impress Sam…IDK). Tanner is a gossip (not that bad). The cute but stupid welder guy just wants a Molly…lol and that would probably be more entertaining than the current "drama", j/k (kind of). Jade is boring, Carly/Ashley I are annoying. I like Jared and Ashley S but their different stories have dried up.

The only people on this show that I am interested in shipping is Ashley S and Chris Harrison.

Edited by Vicky8675309
  • Love 2
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Ashley I is mentally unwell. She couldn't even function, eyes bloodshot, moaning about a life of sustained misery.  There's no shame in getting counseling, and she needs to start now while she's in her twenties.

 

This is really no joke. Among other things, she seems to have a bad case of a cognitive disorder known as catastrophizing. I hope she does get help because it will only get worse and I think she could be a decent person otherwise.

 

All the Bachelor shows are all stupid but I love them...help me.

  • Love 6
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Based on my HS days, a significant percentage.

 

 

They really just want to fuck her.

Yes! This is Bachelor in Paradise! Nobody is under any illusions that this is going to lead to a lifelong romance, marriage, two kids, and a picket fence. If they couldn't find love on the longer Bachelor/ette, what makes them think that they're going to find everlasting happiness during a one or two week sunny vacation in Mexico? It's all about sex here. And Sam is perfect for that. If I were these guys, I'd be all over that.
  • Love 1
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This is really no joke. Among other things, she seems to have a bad case of a cognitive disorder known as catastrophizing. I hope she does get help because it will only get worse and I think she could be a decent person otherwise.

I never heard of this being a disorder, so I looked it up and found an article from Psychology Today.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201301/what-is-catastrophizing-cognitive-distortions

 

Does this example sound familiar? "Imagining yourself never finding love, and imagining that if this happens you will be plagued by intense feelings of loneliness 24/7 from now until you die."

 

Who says BiP isn't educational??? :)

Edited by ByTor
  • Love 7
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I really cannot stand juelia any longer . She has this annoying look on her face all the time and is all woe is me . Idk why people are putting her on such a pedestal and think she deserves to be there over everyone else . Her single mother / widow routine is enough already , we get it . When I thought she was leaving I was so happy and then I saw Mikey and was like oh crap . Go home juelia and try being with your daughter that you love so much for more than 10 minutes

I really don't find Samantha to be evil at all . I actually think she's the most level headed girl there . She's the only one who doesn't cry over someone they've known for an hour . She's nice to everyone there . She was trying to be nice to joe at first but he wasn't taking the hint so she got nastier as anyone would . And she's evil cuz she's lying about text messages and texting more than one guy at once ? This show is a game so she's treating it like one . Let's be honest here , bachelor in paradise was not made to be a " love" show . It's made to be a competition . I don't even think joe is douchey because of the texting her before the show stuff . He's an asshole because of the things he says and how he says it .

Jared is totally in this to collect the paycheck . He couldn't look more bored or less interested in finding someone .

Jade has absolutely no personality I'm guessing that's not what tanner likes her for .

  • Love 3
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I disagree that this is a game; when I think of a game, I feel like the end result should have a clear-cut winner or loser.  I always thought this show was more about hook-ups, so I definitely agree that it's not about "finding love."

  • Love 2
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