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OrientalAmish

Online Friendship Sites

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In this day + age online dating has been the norm, but what about finding friends online to hang out with in real life? I may be speaking for myself, but it seems to me that finding a date/hookup/significant other seems way easier to get than finding a genuine friendship especially with someone of the same gender.... I tend to think I am a bit socially awkward + never really had genuine friends until later in high school.... Sadly, I have a hard time of maintaining friendships because either we grew apart or somehow I had isolated myself.... The only people that I can actually call my "friend" are those who live far away.... I thought I would be able to deal with the fact that I would be okay with having no one to hang out with + just be content with my boyfriend.... But, it gets lonely + as much as I love the boyfriend, there are things that I can't do or discuss with the significant other.... And, I need a balance in my life where my boyfriend isn't the only person I hang out with....My boyfriend + others may think I just need to simply go out + join groups/clubs/meetup groups to get friends, but TBH, those kinda situations are kinda iffy to me....  I don't think I can just go to some public place + approach random people + be like, "Hi, want to get to know each other to see if we can be friends?" Plus, I went through enough humiliation of doing that when I was a adolescent when I would actually send notes to the "popular" girls asking them if they want to be my friend.... I feel like if people can find romance online why can't we have the same for friendships?

 

So anyone know of any good online friendship sites for girls? The only one I know of is http://www.girlfriendsocial.com And, guys feel free to post any sites that are geared towards men.... I just happen to ask for girls because I am a gal + only interested in friends of the same sex....

 

I know I sound pathetic by posting this, but I am sure I am not the only one who has this kind of problem.... I don't know where I am going with this post, but feel free to say anything that you have about this topic...Hell, this post probably doesn't make sense....I am just winging it...I hope this gets replies, but I doubt it....Here goes nothing....

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You don't sound pathetic at all, OrientalAmish!!

It really does get tougher to find and maintain solid friendships as we go through adulthood. Many times I find that I don't have much in common with co-workers and my sister-in-laws are usually too busy with kids/grandkids to hang too, so I desperately miss just having regular girltalk and fun girlie nights out.

I too have lost many formerly close girlfriends over the years, mostly due to them moving far away and/or having children and then just drifting away. And I have had former friends I thought were my BFF's just fade away over time, for whatever reason.

It's definitely sad for the ego, mostly sad for the heart because despite my otherwise fulfilling career and marriage, I do get lonely many times for real girlfriends, hell, even fun guyfriends.

I've felt the same way for quite a few years now, and I'd love to find more ways to connect with new groups of fun friendly gals with similar interests.

I do have a very small handful of local friends, but it's often tough for us to get together regularly either due to their health((I'm 38 but somehow always find myself hanging with older broads)), their kids/situation/location, or just different interests.

I have longtime friends around the country that I keep up with and see a few times a year, but it sure would be nice to have more girlfriends just to hang with regularly.

I have plenty of acquaintances, but good solid girlfriends? I wish...I've tried everything to find more girlfriends for regular outings and then just end up disappointed and like the only one who gives a damn about planning/making time for these outings:

I tried a regular brunch group and there was so much in-fighting within the other gals/flakey no-shows that I gave it up.

I joined a local ladies supper club but after about 6 months it was ditched after several of the ladies got tired of planning them and no one else seemed willing to bother with it anymore.

I tried a regular neighborhood ladies meet-up and got fed up with begging ladies to host shindigs after the first few fun meet-up's.

I've tried professional and hobby meet-up's and realized that maybe being a cheerfully artsy, childfree liberal scares a lot of the typically Southern ladies I meet up with, even though I was born and raised here in the South.

Maybe I do expect too much, wanting both girlfriends I can hang out and drink with, and girlfriends I can share deep topics, discuss emotional concerns and cry with...more and more I realize that most adult women in my vein have different social circles for a variety of good reasons.

But when I used to watch "Sex and the City", it wasn't the sex and the clothes or even the humor that I watched it for---I watched it for the hope of one day having a group of close local lovely lady friends as close and as awesomely fun and supportive as those broads.

I know true love exists, but how about true BFF's?

Edited by Sun-Bun
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You don't sound pathetic at all, OrientalAmish!!

It really does get tougher to find and maintain solid friendships as we go through adulthood. Many times I find that I don't have much in common with co-workers and my sister-in-laws are usually too busy with kids/grandkids to hang too, so I desperately miss just having regular girltalk and fun girlie nights out.

I too have lost many formerly close girlfriends over the years, mostly due to them moving far away and/or having children and then just drifting away. And I have had former friends I thought were my BFF's just fade away over time, for whatever reason.

It's definitely sad for the ego, mostly sad for the heart because despite my otherwise fulfilling career and marriage, I do get lonely many times for real girlfriends, hell, even fun guyfriends.

I've felt the same way for quite a few years now, and I'd love to find more ways to connect with new groups of fun friendly gals with similar interests.

I do have a very small handful of local friends, but it's often tough for us to get together regularly either due to their health((I'm 38 but somehow always find myself hanging with older broads)), their kids/situation/location, or just different interests.

I have longtime friends around the country that I keep up with and see a few times a year, but it sure would be nice to have more girlfriends just to hang with regularly.

I have plenty of acquaintances, but good solid girlfriends? I wish...I've tried everything to find more girlfriends for regular outings and then just end up disappointed and like the only one who gives a damn about planning/making time for these outings:

I tried a regular brunch group and there was so much in-fighting within the other gals that I gave it up.

I tried a regular neighborhood ladies meet-up and got fed up with begging ladies to host shindigs after the first few fun meet-up's.

I've tried professional and hobby meet-up's and realized that maybe being a cheerfully artsy, childfree liberal scares a lot of the typically Southern ladies I meet up with, even though I was born and raised here in the South.

Maybe I do expect too much, wanting both girlfriends I can hang out and drink with, and girlfriends I can share deep topics, discuss emotional concerns and cry with...more and more I realize that most adult women in my vein have different social circles for a variety of good reasons.

But when I used to watch "Sex and the City", it wasn't the sex and the clothes or even the humor that I watched it for---I watched it for the hope of one day having a group of close girlfriends as close and as awesomely fun and supportive as those broads.

I know true love exists, but how about true friendships that last?

 

Awww, thanks for the reassurance + loved your reply because I can totally relate! 

 

I have thought about joining those groups on meetup.com, but I feel kinda iffy about that because it seems with a lot of them that you would get your membership terminated if you don't attend a few events or don't seem that "active"..... And, I rather get to know a few ladies @ a time in a non-group setting, if you get my gist....

 

Maybe I am being too picky because I go through looking through profiles/ads on girlfriendsocial/Craigslist + look for someone who is particularly into old/classic movies + style/fashion, vintage/retro kinda quirky like me, even though, I would say in my own ad/profile that I will try to be open because if we click, we click....

 

I don't think it's too much to want girlfriend who you can have fun with, but also have a deep connection with kind of like a platonic significant others? I guess those we can consider as our close/best friends + the ones who only fit in the "fun" category might be considered just as social friends/acquaintances?

 

I always dream about having that kind of friendship that existed on Sex and the City because it was genuine + were a family.... 

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I belong to a couple of Meetup.com groups and have never been threatened with expulsion even though I decline most invitations.  

Edited by Qoass
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I agree- it's much harder as you get older to find and maintain those types of relationships.  Once you throw in marriage and kids it gets even harder because your lives are all consumed with them for so long.  As my kids get older I find myself kind of wishing I had more friends to just hang out with.  But, I'm also quite introverted- I do ok in social settings but don't love them and can only do them sparingly.  Finding a friend through an online resource- except PTV, of course ;) - doesn't really interest me much at this time though.  Good luck!  I hope you well!!

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I have the same issue, OA. In fact my boss just asked me recently if I had any local friends and I realized I didn't really. I have lived here for 5 years and have maybe 1 person I could hang out with to go to a movie or whatever, but probably nobody I would ask to help me move or bury a body or whatever it is real friends do. And it is hard. I'm like GenL and mostly introverted but at the same time don't want to spend ALL my weekends and evenings totally alone (since I am both not married and have no kids). But I do think that's a part of my problem.  One coworker says I have an open invite to her house, but I feel like I'd never be comfortable just popping by. This is the first place I've lived where I didn't have friends already in the location. I may try some activities through my library. They have activity nights for things I do (like a Monday night stitch group which I have seen but never joined). 

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I can count the number of actual friends I have had in my adult life one one hand (I'm 37 now), so I can totally relate to this. I feel like I just don't have things in common with people. I don't have kids, and most people my age do. I work from home, and most people actually go to a job. I'm into things like sports and history and not the typical "girly" type things. I am not much of a drinker. I'm very introverted so it takes me awhile to get comfortable around people and it comes off as standoffish & unfriendly. Group things are a fine idea but hard to jump into as the new person. So yeah. I wish there was a way to find people like me!

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I have the same issue, OA. In fact my boss just asked me recently if I had any local friends and I realized I didn't really. I have lived here for 5 years and have maybe 1 person I could hang out with to go to a movie or whatever, but probably nobody I would ask to help me move or bury a body or whatever it is real friends do. And it is hard.

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I have the same issue, OA. In fact my boss just asked me recently if I had any local friends and I realized I didn't really. I have lived here for 5 years and have maybe 1 person I could hang out with to go to a movie or whatever, but probably nobody I would ask to help me move or bury a body or whatever it is real friends do. And it is hard.

It is best if you don't bury a body local or use a local friend.  Just sayin'.

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I'm certainly no expert at this, but it seems like you have to start with a larger group and then find a few people you really click with and so on.

As others have said meetup dot com is worth a perusal and local libraries aren't just about book clubs anymore. I used to take cooking classes.  A local chef/caterer offered stand-alone classes and I would pick and choose the ones I wanted to take.  It was a participation class and we would all take turns doing parts of the meal prep and then we would pull up our chairs around a large island and eat a full meal.  It was like a dinner party where you brought a check instead of a hostess gift.  

We would break off into groups to work on meal prep and have interesting convos while we worked, then there would be interesting convos with the larger group when we ate our meal together.  I became friendly with a few people who frequently signed up for a lot of the same classes that I signed up for.  I stopped going because I had kids,  but I really miss the social opportunities I had with them.  I learned a lot about other local opportunities and events via the word of mouth info from others who attended them as well.

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