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Tara Ariano

S04.E17: Ayissha & Sydney

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Ayissha is a beautiful young woman.... but I couldn't stop staring at that nose ring. That thing's gotta go. And it turns out she's dating Bozo! Who would scare me even without the bright orange red hair when she first started telling her story.

By the end I felt sorry for Bozo a bit. I'm glad they parted on good terms, and that Ayissha is steering clear.

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I felt bad for the Catfish, but that's no excuse for what she did to Ayissha. I can understand wanting to find yourself or to be someone else-- someone who is confident, hot, and out. The method may be madness, IMO, but I get it.

What I don't get is why it takes the Catfish standing in front of their victim with a tv crew for them to get that it's not OK to hurt others just because you've been hurt. Not to be too succinct here, but... DUH!!!

WTF is wrong with these people? Sociopaths?? Famewhores?? Both??

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So basically Whitney (or was her real name Sydney? I'm confused) was everybody on the internet? I found this episode to be totally confusing, I couldn't keep track of who was who.

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Ayissha is a beautiful young woman.... but I couldn't stop staring at that nose ring. That thing's gotta go. And it turns out she's dating Bozo!

Oh, that was Bozo? I thought it was Raggedy Andy.

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I agree about the nose ring.  I don't like facial piercings as a general rule, but I really don't get why this beautiful girl wants to look like a bull with a ring in her nose like that.  As for Raggedy Ann....I get that she had it rough, but it doesn't in any ay excuse what she did.  And I am not sure I buy that people were beating her up to try and make her go out with guys.  Beating her up for being a lesbian, sure, but kicking her ass to MAKE her date a guy doesn't make much sense.  I just got a mental image of some poor nerdy guy standing in a HS hallway while a bunch of girls beat down Raggedy Ann every time she says she won't go on a date with him.

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I think this show is really ignoring the elephant in the living room, which is colorism.  This was about the fourth episode where a dark skinned woman used the profile of a lighter skinned woman to reel someone in.  And even though that is wrong and lying, etc, it is a sad truth that lighter skinned black women are perceived differently in this society than darker skinned women.  All one needs to do is look at movies, TV or the casting call for Straight Outta Compton (http://gawker.com/straight-outta-compton-casting-call-is-racist-as-hell-1606524197), to see that is true.  

 

The redheaded girl was completely wrong all the way around; and I do think something is seriously wrong with her psychologically, but I'm just stating what I see.

Edited by Neurochick
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I couldn't help but feel that if Whitney had turned out to be more attractive to her, Ayissha would have been more forgiving. When she started crying in the car after the first meeting, I felt like she was finally accepting that the fantasy was over and mourning that. It's like it just dawned on her that she'd stupidly dropped out of school for someone who wasn't sufficiently hot. After all, even when Ayissha learned that the original pictures were fake, she didn't just let the whole thing go-- she continued communicating. I think she was holding out hope that it would just be a different hot girl.

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ITA about the colorism issue. I just don't trust that Nev and Max would know how to address it properly. The show's depth isn't... deep.

Edited by marny
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I thought Ayissha was an idiot and should have taken more responsibility for her own actions.  But I usually think that about this show.  

 

No one can make you drop out of school if you've never met them. That's on you.  No one can make you keep communicating with someone when you KNOW they are already lying to you.  And, oh let's not forget...Ayissha is terrified of Sydney/Whitney, but she's a wonderful person!  

 

I didn't buy a lot that Ayissha said.  Especially when she walked away saying "I just can't deal with this!  She's a liar!  She's lying!"  Yeah, no shit Sherlock.  You knew that for the last however many years.

 

And personally, I thought Whitney or whatever her real name was was quite pretty.  

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I didn't know that it was still possible to create a whole village of fake sock puppets(never mind what a waste of time that is). I thought Facebook had come up with algorithms to bust those?

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I thought Ayissha was an idiot and should have taken more responsibility for her own actions.  But I usually think that about this show. 

 

No one can make you drop out of school if you've never met them. That's on you.  No one can make you keep communicating with someone when you KNOW they are already lying to you.  And, oh let's not forget...Ayissha is terrified of Sydney/Whitney, but she's a wonderful person!

 

 

- Thank you! I thought the same thing! I'm not giving Whitney a pass for what she pulled, but for an educated woman, Ayissha seemed like an idiot. And honestly? Not that cute. In fact, I thought Whitney was much better looking, Raggedy Ann hair and all.

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Those nose rings are a deal breaker for me, I can't see anything else. And Whitney was cute; she needs some therapy and some confidence. As do just about everyone who goes on this show.

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Yeah, I thought Whitney was super cute, someone who looks like that would do very well with the ladies if she weren't so messed up. I'm not sure what her deal is (I don't buy that this was just a response to trauma from homophobia) but I hope she gets her act together.

 

I'm really never going to understand these Catfish "victims" who have already been told they were lied to, and still keep going for years after the fact.

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I do think Whitney was beautiful, I thought her eyes were awesome.  What I was stating is unfortunately, colorism is real, it's out there, no matter what I think.   All you have to do is turn on the TV  (especially commercials) and see how lighter skinned black women are presented vs how darker skinned women are presented.  Whitney probably knew that if she showed her real self, not as many people would be interested.  

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I'm really never going to understand these Catfish "victims" who have already been told they were lied to, and still keep going for years after the fact.

 

This is why I decided i'm done with this show.  It seems almost every episode now is this.  

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Whitney probably knew that if she showed her real self, not as many people would be interested.

That's going to be true for anyone at an extreme in any respect that someone else might care about, whether it's a physical characteristic like color or height, or things like interests or opinions. People are drawn to people like themselves and if there just isn't anyone on one side of the bell curve around you then there are going to be fewer people interested than would be to someone closer to average. So, if there's one aspect you can't do anything about, you try to make the most of others.

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The nose ring didn't bother me at all, I was way more distracted by the fact that Ayisha's foundation did not match her skin tone properly. Maybe it looked better in person, but on film it looked awful.

I didn't comprehend why Nev And Max were calling "Whitney" (I forgot her real name) a stalker and acted as if she was crazy and dangerous. I didn't find her to be more of a foolish lunatic than any other Catfish? It was just odd and so I found it confusing, as if I had missed something. I also thought Whitney was super cute. Sad that she doesn't seem to think so.

Edited by lightbeam
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I do think Whitney was beautiful, I thought her eyes were awesome.  What I was stating is unfortunately, colorism is real, it's out there, no matter what I think.   All you have to do is turn on the TV  (especially commercials) and see how lighter skinned black women are presented vs how darker skinned women are presented.  Whitney probably knew that if she showed her real self, not as many people would be interested.  

 

I totally agree with you.  My daughter's grandmother was a foster parent of many mixed and black children.  She really had to work to instill self-esteem in some of them because that was so ingrained...the lighter the prettier.  It's really sad.  Some of the mixed girls would go out and lay in the sun to get darker and they were told they were crazy. 

 

Edited because I totally agree about her eyes!  I thought they were mesmerizing.  

Edited by JenMcSnark
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That's going to be true for anyone at an extreme in any respect that someone else might care about, whether it's a physical characteristic like color or height, or things like interests or opinions. People are drawn to people like themselves and if there just isn't anyone on one side of the bell curve around you then there are going to be fewer people interested than would be to someone closer to average. So, if there's one aspect you can't do anything about, you try to make the most of others.

 

This is true, but colorism is a totally different animal.  Colorism, isn't about just looks, it's about negative characteristics associated with darker skinned black women.  There have been many cases where the catfish-ie(?) has been a dark skinned black male, thinking he's talking to a lighter skinned black female and when he finds he's talking to a woman his own color, he's turned off.  So it's not about people being drawn to people like themselves when it comes to colorism.

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Just caught up. This episode seemed super thrilling until the reveal. I kind of thought Whitney would actually be that blurred out man that they originally assumed she was.

Based on how mega-nuts these recent Catfish have been, I really didn't think she was half bad, for a liar. She seemed sincere, and not super crazy. And yes, she was really cute. (I thought the natural color looked way better than the hot Cheetos color, but still. Cute.)

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Yeah, that nose ring doesn't work for anyone, also in this case. Ayissha seemed pretty blunt while Nev talked to her during the show, but once she got the chance to talk to Sydney, she seemed smarter to me than I thought. Still, leaving college for an unknown person? Not so smart of her.

I didn't like the red hair, but the girl didn't seem like a psycho, just had issues. I get why Ayissha doesn't talk to her anymore.

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This is true, but colorism is a totally different animal.  Colorism, isn't about just looks, it's about negative characteristics associated with darker skinned black women.  There have been many cases where the catfish-ie(?) has been a dark skinned black male, thinking he's talking to a lighter skinned black female and when he finds he's talking to a woman his own color, he's turned off.  So it's not about people being drawn to people like themselves when it comes to colorism.

 

Neurochick, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing this up. I had never heard of this concept until I heard you mention it here and upthread. Since then, I've read up on the issue (especially the linked to casting list). Anyways, I wanted to thank you for bringing up a concept that I, in my little bubble, had no idea existed. Since reading and hearing more about it I totally get where your posts are coming from. Thank you for enlightening the uneducated/uninformed such as myself. Also agree that Nev and Max are not the two to tackle such an issue- maybe bring in one of their guest stars? I'm not sure what the correct approach is here.

 

Feel free to delete this post if its off-topic, because this one was a total snooze-fest for me. My only comments are that it was ridiculous for Ayissha to drop out of school, especially to go help someone at the hospital, when said individual didn't even tell her what hospital they were at! I don't really understand what happened here- Ayissha knew that Whitney/Sydney was a liar, she had already changed identities at least once... There didn't seem to be the typical, "I love you," messages either. Instead it seemed like a whole heap of emotional/mental abuse. Very creepy.

 

One question- if Whitney/ Sydney created a bunch of fake friends to respond to her profile, why didn't she pretend as if they knew her when Nev texted/ messaged them? And since when does Nev text the "friends"? Don't they usually send a DM or do a videochat? Why wouldn't Whitney say, "Oh yeah I know her- she's great."

 

Infuriating episode. Ayissha was very pretty. Was Sydney/Whitney/Whatever her real name is- pretty? I don't know. I couldn't get past the mental/emotional abuse angle- this one really left an unpleasant taste in my mouth. God bless anyone who gets into a relationship with Whitney- she's one emotional abuser/manipulative liar. (This could be said for many episodes, but it really struck me here when she created fake people to dog on Ayissha so that she could be her "savior". And Ayissha even suspected as much and still couldn't let go! That's some powerful manipulation there.

 

ETA: I thought that Nev and Max threw in the crazy stalker angle, because at one point in the episode it appeared that Whitney knew Ayissha and/or friended her friends on Facebook to keep tabs on her- i.e. "I have a feeling you're somewhere you're not supposed to be tonight," while Ayissha was hooking up with another girl. It would creep me out, but Ayissha didn't seem too bothered by it.

Edited by Granimal

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And since when does Nev text the "friends"? Don't they usually send a DM or do a videochat? Why wouldn't Whitney say, "Oh yeah I know her- she's great."

I think he always contacts people from catfish's profile to check if they know the person. The difference is that he didn't get the call from those people like always.

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Regarding the fake friends, I'm also confused as to why the heck the fake friends didn't commit to the story. If they were all Whitney, and Whitney made the "fake friends" in order to have a credible profile- why didn't the "fake friends" act like they knew Whitney?

Had Whitney just decided to drop the charade already? The jig was up?

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