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S01.E07: Sleuths


Trini

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Was the point of this episode to prove that humans are smarter than the aver-er-age bear?  If so, it failed miserably.  This is still called Zoo, right?  So where are the animals.  Even though I say that every week, I still want to know.

 

So far the only animals I really see are dumbass homo sapiens.  I have no idea if I spelled that right.  If they are the hope for humanity, win for the animals.

 

Yeah, for a show named Zoo, it seems to focus too much on a group of dumb humans.

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Two episodes in a row now with zero deaths by animal.  Disappointing.

 

Chloe's fiance was played by the same guy who played Bakshi in Agents of SHIELD.  And his last name was "Lion" according to my closed captioning (although French pronunciation of course was lee-OWN).  I was thinking that was foreshadowing.  But nope, we have moved on from lions to bats to bears.  He was such a cowardly ninny, I, like Chloe, was rooting for the bear.   I did love the actress' delivery of the line "when we were living together, I killed all the spiders".  Every household has a designated spider killer, and I know several with big strong athletic guys whose wives are the spider killers.  

 

Chloe's eyes have been buggy from the start but this was the first time I noticed that when she stares like that, you can see the entire white around her iris.

 

If they were going to claim a self-defence story for Jamie, why not actually tell the police that?  They found out Bad FBI guy killed two people at the optometrist's office.  He admitted it and started attacking Jackson.  Then he lunged at Jamie and said "I'm going to kill both of you, I know kung fu!".  She is afraid for her life and shot him.

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That was pretty bad.  Even for this show.

 

It's not just bears -- it's evolving new and improved super armored bears, now with an exo-skeleton.  Umm, how about no.

 

How about Hell Yes!  This show is silly but it's also somewhat boring.  That's just unacceptable.  If you're going to be silly then at least be fun.  I'm hoping the introduction of mutant animals amps up the crazy.  Revolution did the same thing when they introduced nanites and the show became a lot more fun (for me at least).

 

Speaking of Revolution, Billy Burke and a former Revolution co-star had a scene together.  Crossing fingers that Mitch has an old college buddy named Bass.

 

Ha ha ha ha! I knew it looked familiar! I'm picturing the prop guy going through the bank drive-through, seeing the canister, thinking, "Perfect!" and then driving off with it.

Too funny!  Although, I've nearly drove off with one of those things myself.  

 

Okay, nevermind, the recap mentioned all the dumbness I was going to mention. But one more thing: when Jackson said to "stand your ground" with the Armor bears, I was all, what, huh? These are the very same people who know the animals are evolving and are against us -- this is NOT a normal bear situation! Yes, please stand still so the wussy French bears can do the least amount of work to maul you all.

I'm wondering if the show is trying to be PC.  I hate seeing animals abused or killed for sport but if I know an animal is likely to attack, then I have no problem with it being put down permanently.  It seems to me that the team should be carrying more than tranq guns for scenarios such as this.

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This show is silly but it's also somewhat boring.  That's just unacceptable.  If you're going to be silly then at least be fun.

 

I was expecting a lot more fun from the show, but it's been pretty disappointing.

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This show is silly but it's also somewhat boring.  That's just unacceptable.  If you're going to be silly then at least be fun.  I'm hoping the introduction of mutant animals amps up the crazy. 

 

Exactly! There is no "fun" in this show. It is much more fun to come here and share the snark. I keep wishing that the writers would work in lines like "Not great, Bob" or "Dragons, Khaleesi" as a nod to a few of the actors' appearances on much better shows. That would, at least, keep me entertained.

 

A few questions:

  • Did we ever find out who hacked into Jamie's computer in the first (?) episode?
  • Did anyone on this determined team speculate why Reiden Global created the Mother Cell in the first place? What is RG attempting - world domination?
  • Do we know for certain that Ken Olin (Daddy Oz) is dead dead? I suspect that our team will stumble upon him in the coming weeks.
Edited by Ellaria Sand
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On the plus side: This episode improved my English vocab I had not known that sloth/sleuth can refer to a group of bears. So that's something I guess.

 

Listen show: you're way too silly to deal with dark stuff like child soldiers. Though Abe telling 'Nancy' how he pulled an extreme version of Sophie's Choice gave at least one of the actors material to flex his thespian muscles.

 

Drop the drama (most of it is forced anyway), stop being so half-hearted about how crazy you wanna be and just commit! And bring on those damn killer zebras!

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Did we ever find out who hacked into Jamie's computer in the first (?) episode?

 

Nope.

 

Did anyone on this determined team speculate why Reiden Global created the Mother Cell in the first place? What is RG attempting - world domination?

 

According to the now dead Leo (the former Reiden scientist), Reiden Global discovered the mothercell about 12 years ago, but it's not clear if it's something they found in the jungle or whipped up in a lab (my money is on the former).

 

Do we know for certain that Ken Olin (Daddy Oz) is dead dead? I suspect that our team will stumble upon him in the coming weeks.

 

I wouldn't put it past him to fake his own death since he was pretty paranoid.

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I read this as 'cow' and immediately thought, 'Three things that could get you killed if animals turned on man - slaughter house, milking, and cow tipping.'

Maybe the first and third, but dairy cows want to be milked, it's uncomfortable for their udders to be over-full if they miss a milking.

 

How did they get the Mothercell container on the plane ?  No way that makes it through the TSA checkpoints -- it was at least more than 3 oz.

Clearly, making it look like they were trying to smuggle a sinister device powered by kryptonite allowed it to pass through security unnoticed. Meanwhile, someone is being hauled out of line for a strip search because they had a tube of Colgate in their luggage.

 

Armored bears?!  This show has lost its damn mind!  I mean, yes, there was some kind of bullshit excuse over how it's because the mother cell is somehow making animals genetically mutate and whatnot, but that is still the crazy damn thing I've ever seen outside of Under the Dome.  And it ends up not even being all that effective, since they can still get taken down by shots to the ass.  Some genetically mutations those are!

Well, John Candy proved in The Great Outdoors that bears' rear ends are their weakest point...

 

Okay, nevermind, the recap mentioned all the dumbness I was going to mention. But one more thing: when Jackson said to "stand your ground" with the Armor bears, I was all, what, huh? These are the very same people who know the animals are evolving and are against us -- this is NOT a normal bear situation! Yes, please stand still so the wussy French bears can do the least amount of work to maul you all.

Also, standing your ground against 200 lb. black bears that are scavenging your car for junk food may work, but for a half-ton brown bear unless you have heavy firearms you play dead and hope it loses interest in you before you're not pretending any more.

 

A few questions:

  • Did we ever find out who hacked into Jamie's computer in the first (?) episode?

It was the red pandas!

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On the plus side: This episode improved my English vocab I had not known that sloth/sleuth can refer to a group of bears. So that's something I guess.

I agree about vocabulary. Will there be an episode featuring a murder of crows?

 

Did you know a group of buzzards is a wake? That amuses me. Very apropos.

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This can't be repeated enough.  Where are the killer zebras ?

 

If nothing else, this show has given us the phrase "Antarctic Lesbians".

Ok I was quoting hilarious posts as I finished watching this episode but then the previews for next week came on and I can't stop laughing cuz:

 

1) BATS!! No really.

2) Mitch and leopard and murderous reporter

3) Chloe bugs her eyes out (I'm laughing just typing this)

4) RATS!!

 

 

Did you know a group of buzzards is a wake? That amuses me. Very apropos.

I didn't know this.  I did know about a murder of crows and unkindness of ravens.  Since Zoo was boring I looked up some others:

A party of jays - sounds like fun

A fall of woodcocks - blue pill needed

A peep of chickens - because peep!

 

The undercover mission was pure Scooby Doo.  Hey you've won a trip to Africa!  Oh no he'll recognize me! *bugs eyes* Zoinks!

 

I like the gadget they're keeping the MotherCell in.  It looks like the container you use in the bank drive-through.  Maybe the prop dept has a low budget.

 

 

.And btw, why are they keeping the mother cell in one of those canisters you use to deposit a check through a pneumatic tube system at a bank.

Oops, didn't realize you guys noticed it too.  I swear, we could run this show.

 

The bear charging through the glass door was very funny.  Awful CGI and the bear was apparently just moving at a fast trot. 

The recap was also funny but the picture at the top of the page is inspired. Eye acting!  Heee.

 

Armored bears.  Oh Zoo.  Where is the wine??

Edited by raven
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4) RATS!!

Robotic rats, perhaps, judging by the hard clicking and beeping sounds they were making in the preview.

 

Again the CANDY ASS FRENCH bears.  Even with new hyper-evolved exoskeletons or endoskeletons (hell, the show doesn't care which or what that might actually mean, why the hell should I) they were easily taken down with a little smooth talking and a couple of tranquilizer darts (was Abraham slow to reload because of his survivor's guilt? again, the show doesn't care so neither do I). 

 

So where do we stand?  Three or four bears in France, with only a couple of attacks.  Twenty six or whatever it was lion killings in Africa.  Two dead lesbians in Antarctica (and how many thousand bats died for that - if the bats want to slaughter some lesbians why don't they dive bomb in Park Slope Brooklyn?)  Plus a few more thousand bats that committed hari-kiri to take down a plane in Japan and black out a favela in Rio.  I didn't know that there were that many surviving bats on planet Earth, by the way - the bat die-out rivals the bee die-out.  A few dozen cats in Brentwood that climb into a tree and then do nothing.  Wolves who break out ONE guy from prison.  My dear animal friends - your rampage is some weak fucking sauce, folks. When are you beasts gonna get serious?

 

  Not for the first time I wish this had been done on SyFy - they would have gone DIRECTLY to Handwave Evolution giving us BearLions and HorseBats and there would have been BUCKETS of blood.  Most of the major human characters would already have been violently slaughtered by super-evolved MegaAnimals on camera.  Sigh.

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Well, it's not really an exoskeleton either though, right? It's under the skin and fur, possibly under the fascia?

 

 

You're right.  Not really a skeleton at all.  Vertebrates like armadillos and pangolins and rhinos and triceratops -- and I guess these fictional bears -- have/had "armour", but they still have/had an internal skeleton (unlike invertebrates such as insects, scorpions, crustaceans, etc. who only have an exoskeleton.)

 

While I'm here, there are no grey wolves in the southern US, and there haven't been bears  of any kind in France for possibly thousands of years.  The show could use that:  "Hey, what's up with these animals who don't belong here all of a sudden being here?" But, they don't.  Bad show!

 

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Not for the first time I wish this had been done on SyFy - they would have gone DIRECTLY to Handwave Evolution giving us BearLions and HorseBats and there would have been BUCKETS of blood. .

 

I was really certain at one point that the bear's hair would be pushed aside or fall out to reveal that it was a Bearmadillo.

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Armored bears?!  This show has lost its damn mind!

 

Hey, if ze wine-drinking French bears are mutating into panserbjørne you won't hear me complaining.

 

The head of Reiden Global is Agent Rex? That guy's been bad news since before Traveller! (I miss Traveller; it made no sense either, but it was fun.)

 

Why doesn't James Wolk have more to do? He spends a lot of time explaining things to our Fearless Reporter/Murderer (who inexplicably was ready for sexy time with the now dead FBI guy).

 

I'm starting to feel bad for James Wolk, too. Although I though Jackson's "What? MORE exposition?!" face at the close of the teaser was pretty epic.

 

Good call on the unendoskeleton, or whatever the hell the writers are calling it. Because, no. And if the writers' idea of a running gag is "'Scat' means poo," they need to start looking for different jobs. Ones not involving writing words. 

Edited by Sandman
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I think the credits are the teaser. We see zebras, and a large man (Abraham?) on a dirt road ... season finale?

Perhaps.  But I am positive in the commercials previewing the show in early summer (or perhaps the "this season on Zoo" preview) showed a bunch of birds and a dying or dead mother lying in the park sprawled out next to a baby carriage or stroller.  When are we getting that scene?  Or is that too just a tease?

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Bring on the "zeal" of killer zebras!

 

I found the plural forms for groups of animals here: http://www.rinkworks.com/words/collective.shtml

(We'll need these to TWOP/snark future episodes.)

 

Jean-Michel is hilarious.  I hope the show finds more ways for him to be animal bait.

 

We need a Zoo bingo game.  But no shots every time a character drinks because we wouldn't make it through the show.  Maybe drink every time there is a preposterous new scientific theory?  Or every time they introduce a new character who speaks a language we haven't heard yet on the show? Or every time they take another flight somewhere and a black screen tells us where they are?

 

Extra points for guessing the next murderous animal and its special genetically modified super power.

 

Maybe a band of X-Animals will come to mankind's rescue.

 

Even the make-up people who create the mauled dead bodies must be having fun.  More gnarly slashes and peeled back blood smeared clothing!  They probably get to make dozens of versions of the defiant pupil too. (Which looks like the Monster drink logo to me.) I want their job.

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One of those pneumatic containers with the gunky yellow stuff would make a great Christmas gift.  Maybe the show could make back some money with a retail line.  Teddy bears with armored stuffing?  I'm sure I'll see someone walking around with defiant pupil contact lenses for Halloween.

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Did they say that the mutation of the bears getting exo-skeletal armor would normally have taken a few hundred years or a few generations? Did everyone on the show completely fail all science classes - that type of mutation takes many orders of magnitude longer than that.

 

I hope the animals devolve into Abbies and really cause some havoc -- sorry I couldn't resist a joke for those that wasted their time with Wayward Pines and are now wasting their time with Zoo - me included. Why is it so hard for TV to get any type of science fiction at all correct? All they need is one person that has at least graduated high school with a B grade in biology/chemistry/physics classes to get most of the nonsensical science out of the show.

Edited by dlr
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Well, I tend to believe Abraham when he tells Jamie that Ben was merely posing as an FBI agent (because the guy was fairly sketchy all along, up to and including his vicious stair-stomping of Jackson), but I can't say for certain anymore what the show expects us to take at face value. If anything.

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The show has offered false promises of animals getting their revenge on humans. I can't believe that they really show the show's premise each week that the show does not deliver. Where has the killing pack of dogs been? What are the cats up to? Are lions still on the hunt? How is humanity being threatened to the degree that the Zoo Croo seems to have unlimited funding? I had such high hopes for this series. Gah.

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Just had a look at IMDB - there are 13 episodes listed for Zoo. They really need to add a bit urgency to this whole animal-apocalypse since there are only 5 episodes left. Unless show gets a second season (stranger things have happened).

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Just had a look at IMDB - there are 13 episodes listed for Zoo. They really need to add a bit urgency to this whole animal-apocalypse since there are only 5 episodes left. Unless show gets a second season (stranger things have happened).

 

Maybe that's why they've been dragging things out.

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The show has offered false promises of animals getting their revenge on humans. I can't believe that they really show the show's premise each week that the show does not deliver. Where has the killing pack of dogs been? What are the cats up to? Are lions still on the hunt? How is humanity being threatened to the degree that the Zoo Croo seems to have unlimited funding? I had such high hopes for this series. Gah.

 

I'm still waiting for them to encounter a single white rabbit with a vicious streak a mile wide -- and hope that someone has the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in their backpack.

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This story is moving at a snail's pace, isn't it?  We could use a good death by snails, though. That could be scary.  Actually, we could use a good death by anything. Maybe if the bears had developed some sort of sonic snore, they could have kept most of the bear "action" as it was this week and still killed somebody.

 

 

By the way, the overreaction to relatively harmless bears was done by The Simpsons 20 years ago. 

0115.JPG

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Ok, people.  Bats are on the move here in Ohio (at least in my village).  I have bats nesting in my chimney here at my shop.  The building I'm in was built in the 1870's and still has the old fireplace.  It's bricked up so they can't get in here....or can they?   *dunnn dunnn*  At first I thought it was birds but I realized today it was probably bats and googled 'bat sounds' and bingo.  They know I'm talkin' about them as they are raising a ruckus right now.

 

Just had to share.....coincidence or what...... 

 

Haven't seen this week yet but sounds like I'm not missing much.

 

Oooo....just had a thought.  I hope they don't develop a taste for birds...;-(

 

 

 

Edited by OhioSongbird
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You're not in the Antarctic so your life should be safe.  They might chew through your power lines though.  Or a bunch of them might fly a lion in and drop it down your chimney.

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It kind of bugs that Los Angeles only got cats in a tree.  Cats that ran when they heard Animal Control might show up.  That's so lame.  LA has such great wildlife to menace with:  bears, coyotes, mountain lions, raccoons, possums, deer if they get their freak on.  Mountain lions have attacked people in city parks.  Bears and coyotes roam the streets from time to time.  But nope, we get cats. House cats.  We could have packs of coyotes picking off kids at a playground or something if this show had any idea what it was doing.  Cats. And nothing about them since the first two episodes.  Those cats had better be up to some serious group evil or I'm gonna be pissed.  

 

In bear news, some poor man walked out his cabin door today in Northern California and was seriously mauled by an aggressive bear. He was really messed up, head to toes.  Nothing like those sissy French bears who just tap you like they are challenging you to a duel or something then just go away and sleep for awhile.  

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It kind of bugs that Los Angeles only got cats in a tree.  Cats that ran when they heard Animal Control might show up.  That's so lame.  LA has such great wildlife to menace with:  bears, coyotes, mountain lions, raccoons, possums, deer if they get their freak on.  Mountain lions have attacked people in city parks.  Bears and coyotes roam the streets from time to time.  But nope, we get cats. House cats.  We could have packs of coyotes picking off kids at a playground or something if this show had any idea what it was doing.  Cats. And nothing about them since the first two episodes.  Those cats had better be up to some serious group evil or I'm gonna be pissed.  

 

Ahh, but you forget the lions that escaped from the City of Angels zoo in LA and killed 5 people and injured 5 more from the first episode.

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Ahh, but you forget the lions that escaped from the City of Angels zoo in LA and killed 5 people and injured 5 more from the first episode.

 

Eh, lions got out of a zoo and killed some folks. Regular zoo animals do that from time to time anyway.  Most of the animal 'menacing' and 'attacking' behavior on this show so far is pretty normal animal stuff IMO.  Certainly nothing so amazing that would set off alarms and make someone pull our fearless Zoo Croo together to stop them.  I mean, sure, now we have armored bears.  And they know this only because some rather tame behaving bears wandered around Paris briefly.  If they weren't already researching this they wouldn't even know about the new armored bears. This whole thing is just so nonsensical and internally ridiculous. I mean, I expect it to be crazy from a real world point of view, but I demand internal consistency and reasonableness within the story itself, within its own universe. That is what makes this show so stupid, the lack of internal sense and realism. 

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but but the wolves got into a prison and set it on fire, killing everyone - they got in following people who never lock doors behind them - Oh wait,stupid humans, yeah that would do it.. The wolves don't even have to change to get them, just keep privatizing prisons where the cheapest gets hired and it will happen. Heck a pack of 5 can do it. 

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I finally forced myself to watch this episode.  Being behind on the episodes, I miss all the snark.

 

When Abraham hugged Jamie after he revealed his dark secret, she had a WTF look.  I think that she was trying to come across as shocked.  Kristen Connolly is a really bad actress. 

 

I did laugh when there was a commercial for the Zoo blu ray/DVD.  I can't imagine paying money for this shitfest.  It's not at the level of Sharknado.  I wouldn't mind watching the extras if Netflix offered them.  It'd be hilarious if the cast had serious discussions about this show. 

 

The hibernating bears were really cute.  They seemed to be sleeping off a bottle of wine. 

 

Nobody died from an animal attack.  Boo!  Somebody better die soon from an animal attack and not from human incompetance.

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You're going to love Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf!  (How could you not?)

 

Wow, I missed it, but it sounds awesome. 

 

That's the problem with Zoo.  It doesn't realize that it's ridiculous.  It would be such a good show if the characters knew how ridiculous everything is.  If so, maybe the audience wouldn't be rooting for the animals.

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