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OnceSane

S02.E03: Episode 3

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Michael G is on his way to paradise. I really liked him on Des' season. He was funny and smart- so he should last about one day on this show. I remember thinking he would be fun to watch crime dramas with. That alone would have made him my F1 because I'm easy and you know, priorities.

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I was so grossed out by the scenes with Joe passing gas and Ashley I relieving herself in public, on the beach and on camera.  I just think it is a new low, even by ABC's already abysmal standards.

 

 

Yeah and let's not forget Lauren blowing snot boggers in her tissue.  Jeez H. Christ talk about low brow =(  Does Fleiss think his audience are 12-yr-old boys?

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 In other words, she had a hard time getting what she wanted when he wasn't just handed to her. Then, when she realized she had to actually go after him herself, it was awkward as all hell, as if this was the first time she's spoken to a boy. She expects him to be handed to her, and her "claim" to him is largely in her mind. Then she's all jealous and teary when he actually interacts with other women despite being hers. Run, Jared! Run!

 

So much of Ashley's problem (and to some extent Mikey's, though he doesn't melt down with it quite so much) seems to be that she just can't perceive that other people might have wants and agendas of their own, regardless of her preferences.  Just because a guy looks a tiny bit (if you squint) like Aladdin, doesn't mean he's destined to be yours, Ashley.  Did she ever ask Jared questions about himself?  Try to get to know who he is?  Try to understand what makes him tick?  No?  Then she was just imagining a world and expecting the reality to conform to her imagination.  And when it's "always happening" to her, she's clearly not doing any objective self-evaluations of her own.  Apparently she also has no one in her life willing to deliver a reality check.

 

My take on Jared asking Clare, is that he realized they were both caught in unwanted couplehood and thought he could rescue them both with one act.  So he went for it. Definitely not villain territory, from where I sit.  I don't think he means anything long-term with Clare either (based on his response when Mikey was talking about the difference in their ages.)  He has no plan to have a long term relationship and a family with her.  He's just trying to get through this experience, maybe holding out hope for another woman to come on the show, for him to pursue an actual relationship.  Both he and Clare made it clear to their clingers that they were interested in exploring their options.  They want to stay long enough to find out what those options may be.

 

Clare crying over Mikey's "yelling" though, was pretty ridiculous.  She handled the actual confrontation fairly well, but then she ruined it by crying about it.  She should have just walked away, with her head held high.  She really did nothing wrong, with him.  She was honest from the beginning.  His cluelessness is on him.

 

 

Plus neither one is involved in any of the drama except as part of the Greek Chorus. 

 

We were commenting last night that Carly and Kirk were so well matched as the Greek Chorus.  No matter what was happening, one or the other of them had something snarky, clever, or obvious to say.  Fun!  I hadn't really put Jade and Tanner in that category yet, since they so rarely appeared.  Makes sense, now that we know that she was sick.

 

ETA:  I also wonder how many guys Ashley could have had relationships with, in her life, if she had been willing to actually look at guys who might have been interested in her, rather than fixating on the one perfect guy who could complete her imaginary princess doll set.  If she'd just get a bit more sane about men, she's certainly pretty enough to attract a second look.  Men will put up with some crazy to get the pretty, but not usually bat-shit-insanity.  She needs to stop thinking about herself, and start observing her world as it actually exists.  It probably has some lovely men in it, who might be willing to give it a shot with her.

Edited by CalamityBoPeep
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Well that was a weird episode.  I kinda remember Joe being a bit of D---head on Katlyn's season.   Wasn't he the one who was rude and disrespectful when Katlyn told him she wasn't in to him and it was time for him to leave?  IDK, I just always got a douche bag vibe  off oh him.

Joe was the one who awkwardly blurted out he was falling in love with Kaitlyn in a desperate attempt to stave off the brush-off she was plainly about to deliver, and get to keep hanging out with the bros and the free booze. When she was undeterred, and told him to leave, he looked more irritated than brokenhearted, and said, "What am I supposed to do now?" Which she hilariously interpreted as a lament for his empty future without her, and started to respond accordingly, upon which he interrupted her and said something along the lines of "No, where do I go? Is there a car or something?" Edited by Ketzel
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What am I supposed to do now?" Which she hilariously interpreted as a lament for his empty future without her, and started to respond accordingly, upon which he interrupted her and said something along the lines of "No, where do I go? Is there a car or something?"

This was my absolute favorite moment of the entire sucky season! 

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So much of Ashley's problem (and to some extent Mikey's, though he doesn't melt down with it quite so much) seems to be that she just can't perceive that other people might have wants and agendas of their own, regardless of her preferences.  Just because a guy looks a tiny bit (if you squint) like Aladdin, doesn't mean he's destined to be yours, Ashley.

 

I can't believe I never noticed this!   Yes, it all makes sense now.

Ashley has been planning her Disney wedding since she was in preschool.   She chose Jasmine as her favorite princess, has spent her entire childhood with her Aladdin backpack, lunchbag, bedspread, etc.   She was Jasmine for Halloween, first in the Disney Store costume, and eventually in the Adult "sexy jasmine" costume.  

She has this wedding dress already bought:  http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=34361067

And has been waiting for the groom who will complete the picture -   An Aladdin and Jasmine wedding at Disney World!   

She chose Jared based on which Disney "prince"  she wanted.  

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I can't believe I never noticed this! Yes, it all makes sense now.

Ashley has been planning her Disney wedding since she was in preschool. She chose Jasmine as her favorite princess, has spent her entire childhood with her Aladdin backpack, lunchbag, bedspread, etc. She was Jasmine for Halloween, first in the Disney Store costume, and eventually in the Adult "sexy jasmine" costume.

She has this wedding dress already bought: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=34361067

And has been waiting for the groom who will complete the picture - An Aladdin and Jasmine wedding at Disney World!

She chose Jared based on which Disney "prince" she wanted.

So, we need Dr. Chris Cupcake, DDS, to show up to make all things right in the world. He actually sang/acted out "A Whole New World" well enough to "star" in Aladdin on Broadway. Plus, he has an overly dramatic sobbing cry that can hold up to Ashley's hysterics. No wonder why Genie didn't make it happen with Jared when she wished on it. Jared is Jaffar! And Jared/Jaffar is talking to Clare because she's like his Parrot--the show even has her with the bird in the opening sequence as an easter egg. We cracked this one! ;-) Someone swoop Dr. Cupcake DDS in on a magic carpet! Edited by JenE4
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Hearing the Tenley was an actual Disney princess reminded me of her season of the Bachelor when Vienna had a talking head saying something like "I think she may dream in cartoons. I think that may be a possibility". Or something to that effect.

Totally random, I know, but that was probably the first and only time Vienna made me genuinely laugh, and not at her either.

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I have had it with Ashely I, in general and certainly her tears.  The editors seem to think she is entertaining.  We see far too much of her.  I would love to see more from those who get along.  I fear they may give a bonus for any guy who gives her a rose in order to keep her on. 

 

Joe is an ass.  I don't like Juelia (dumb spelling) either.  I did enjoy his talk with the producer though! 

 

Mikey must be embarrassed watching himself.   

 

I love Clare.  I wish she had not allowed Mikey to bring her to tears.  Read the room, Clare, no one likes him.  It should have been easy to take his behavior in stride. 

 

I loved how Jared basically ignored Mikey and his lament.  Mature and solid guy. 

 

TPTB, clearly, requested that Ashely S continue her weird behavior. I don't find it entertaining (never did) especially since we have seen her acting normally with CH. 

 

I really like Dan.  He did Mikey a good favor by telling him Clare was not into him.  Didn't work but good try!  

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I hate to be defending Mikey, but his math is correct: Jared is 26 and Clare is 34, making her eight years older than him.

 

 

Hearing the Tenley was an actual Disney princess reminded me of her season of the Bachelor when Vienna had a talking head saying something like "I think she may dream in cartoons. I think that may be a possibility". Or something to that effect.

 

 

I don't remember that part, but I do remember poor Gia (may she RIP) saying that Tenley "shits rainbows". And FWIW, Tenley did talk about her Disney career (including the Tokyo stint) on Jake's season, so I thought it was common knowledge.

Edited by chocolatine
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I'm only sorry Lauren tooled on out of there because I wanted to see what the show proposed to do with their twinned contestant going forward. Yeah, OK, when the guys give out the first rose, Ashley is the only one who counts. If she gets a rose,they both get to stay. No rose and they both go.

But now it's the girls' turn. And I'm guessing Lauren wouldn't have a rose to give out? So what would have happened if one of the guys was into Lauren? He has to try to manipulate another girl into giving him a rose? Or he and Lauren have to pressure Ashley into giving her rose to him? Which I can't see working at all! And if any guy wants to stay in Paradise as long as possible, why would he hook up with the one woman who can't keep him there?

Yes, I'm thinking way too much about this. My only conclusion is that TPTB had to get Lauren out of there before the rose ceremony in order to avoid facing the complications created by their silly idea of having the two on as one "being."

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I hate to be defending Mikey, but his math is correct: Jared is 26 and Clare is 34, making her eight years older than him.

 

She is?  Huh... I could have sworn she was 32.  Guess I'll go back up to edit the quotes in my post.  My bad.  He's still an idiot, but I guess not about his math... ;-)

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Mikey must be embarrassed watching himself.

 

I don't think he will be. Dude has no self-awareness. Or, really, ANY awareness at all. 

 

I really like Dan.  He did Mikey a good favor by telling him Clare was not into him.  Didn't work but good try!

 

That scene was so painful! Dan laid it all out there, but Mikey was like - "So, she doesn't like me?" Dan's all, "Yea, that's what they said". Mikey - "So, is this true, though?" Dan has the patience of a saint and I think he's my favorite guy out there. (Oddly I don't remember him from Desiree's season.)

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I don't think he will be. Dude has no self-awareness. Or, really, ANY awareness at all. 

 

 

Mikey is a meathead but he is a good hearted one for the most part. He's oblivious but he seemed uncomfortable enough on After Paradise after they dragged him thru the mud. So he seems to 'get it' if you deliver the message with a sledgehammer.

Joshua is 31 yr old but I guess he's not too "old" for that brat Lauren, who admitted to dating a 40 yr old. It's only women who are "old" once they hit 30, never men, I guess.

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I can't help it I have developed a soft spot for Mikey. He's like a big teddy bear with more stuffing than brains. I think he truly meant well when talking to Tenley. I appreciated that she told him to stop doing it when he said he shouldn't have to try so hard with Clare. He also continued to wear the tiny ponytail on top of his head that Clare had created for him. He told her he'd washed & styled his hair while keeping her design in the beginning of the episode. Silly & dorky but a sweet attempt on his part.

How can JJ not be completely out douching Joshua? It's the Molly yo. I know editing is tricky but when Joshua talked about how great it was to wake up with no memory, no wallet & a mouth that tasted of bleep & how he'd do it again it wasn't editing it was his own stupidity. When JJ talked about Tenley he actually sounded kind which surprised me. It seems like everyone really does agree that she is a sweetheart of a person.

The I sisters continue to make me laugh. I think they would be miserable to be around in real life but they make for some entertaining TV. I am confused about the mistress idea. Doesn't the word mistress imply a wife? A boyfriend with a girlfriend already just means you're a side piece for a cheater. I guess that doesn't sound as klassy.

Juelia is not entertaining TV. She's 30 not 18 so she should be a little bit wiser. I hate to agree with Joe on anything but she doesn't seem that bright. Stay home with your young child & try match.com. Reality TV is not how to find your substitue baby daddy. Good grief I know being a parent doesn't mean you stop living but IMO it means you have a whole new level to consider in your decisions. Go home Juelia. (Is that how you spell it? Her name baffles me.)

Raccoon is back. Yea! I don't blame him, if I was on BIP I'd probably be drinking all the time too.

Edited by ramble
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Joe was the one who awkwardly blurted out he was falling in love with Kaitlyn in a desperate attempt to stave off the brush-off she was plainly about to deliver, and get to keep hanging out with the bros and the free booze. When she was undeterred, and told him to leave, he looked more irritated than brokenhearted, and said, "What am I supposed to do now?" Which she hilariously interpreted as a lament for his empty future without her, and started to respond accordingly, upon which he interrupted her and said something along the lines of "No, where do I go? Is there a car or something?"

 

Ha, I loved that misunderstanding! He did flip the switch pretty quick though and became exactly the same sullen jackass he was last night, so it seems the nice, funny guy side is an act. 

 

The show got very uncomfortable when they edited together the scenes of Juelia gushing over her date and Joe being completely flat and outlining his plan to use her to get to the next round in hopes of meeting Samantha.

 

Juelia honestly does seem like a dim bulb and her personality...is missing, but I still felt bad for her. It seemed extra mean that they'd give such a humiliating edit to the woman whose husband killed himself. 

 

That being said, I actually kinda hope Joe's ruse works at least for this round because....

 

I don't really know what his personality is like, but I'm bummed for Jonathan. 

 

Jonathan drove me bananas from the get go on Kaitlyn's season, those crazy, always-moving eyes freak me out and he's just so damn jittery. 

 

He got off to an even worse start on this show with his (utterly false, IMO) stories about all the sisters and virgins he's allegedly banged AND his overuse of the word "delicious" to describe women. Yuck. I will not be sad at all to see him go. 

 

I don't know if Joshua is a current drug user or not, but just the bragging about it, trying to impress people with his "worldliness" about club drugs, made him seem like an asshole.

Yeah, I could kinda believe that he was telling Tenley the truth and that his "bragging" to the others was just a complete misread of the room. Maybe he thinks that being a welder from Idaho makes him plain or boring compared to the others so he was pulling a junior high move and trying to make himself sound "cool" not realizing that it had the opposite effect. 

 

Both he and Joe got such weird first episode edits, I can't reconcile them with the majority of their time on Kaitlyn's season (with the exception of Joe's exit episode). 

 

I didn't like how JJ kept talking down about his welding career. (I don't actually like anything about JJ, but this in particular irritated me). He was acting all high and mighty about it, I guess because it's a "blue collar" job, and because JJ's an idiot who thinks welders just haphazardly bang metal together all day.

 

Yes, JJ the unemployed, living at home with Mom and Dad, "former" investment banker definitely has no room  to be critiquing people who actually work, regardless of what that job is. 

 

I'm a bit mixed on JJ, he is a definite doofus, but sometimes he is funny. He tries WAY too hard sometimes on the jokes, but he can be entertaining.

 

I'm not even sure why Lauren was there. If she is so satisfied being a mistress and hates people, why did she even go? On the off chance Josh would show up and actually like her?

I'm guessing the posters upthread are correct, that she and Ashley both thought the men were going to be falling at her feet, and when that didn't happen, she soured on the idea fast. 

 

As for Josh, I honestly can't imagine that HE of all people, is the one Lauren would have been waiting for. I don't see anything about him that Lauren would have been interested in. Ashley maybe, but not Lauren. 

 

Mikey is a meathead but he is a good hearted one for the most part. He's oblivious but he seemed uncomfortable enough on After Paradise after they dragged him thru the mud. So he seems to 'get it' if you deliver the message with a sledgehammer.

Wow, that sequence of him trying to piece together Dan's warning was something else.

 

"So, she said she's not into me....but how do we know that's the case."

"Dude, she told [names most of the girls]"

"But how would they know?" 

"Um, she told them."

*Cue long confused stare into space.

 

I think he got this show confused with Survivor or something, like the girls were spreading rumors  so they could blindside some other guy at the rose ceremony. 

 

But now it's the girls' turn. And I'm guessing Lauren wouldn't have a rose to give out? So what would have happened if one of the guys was into Lauren? He has to try to manipulate another girl into giving him a rose? Or he and Lauren have to pressure Ashley into giving her rose to him? Which I can't see working at all! And if any guy wants to stay in Paradise as long as possible, why would he hook up with the one woman who can't keep him there?

Yes, I'm thinking way too much about this. My only conclusion is that TPTB had to get Lauren out of there before the rose ceremony in order to avoid facing the complications created by their silly idea of having the two on as one "being."

 

I thought that was why 2 new guys came in at once? They only needed 1 more girl (Clare) because one of the sisters didn't need a rose, but they brought 2 in this time. If Lauren had stayed, 1 guy gets eliminated and they're back to even numbers. 

 

What I'm not sure about is what they're going to do now that she left, eliminate 2 guys or fast track another woman into the house before the elimination?  

 

 

 

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The I sisters continue to make me laugh. I think they would be miserable to be around in real life but they make for some entertaining TV. I am confused about the mistress idea. Doesn't the word mistress imply a wife? A boyfriend with a girlfriend already just means you're a side piece for a cheater. I guess that does sound as klassy.

 

 

 

Mistress usually implies a wife or that he pay all your expenses or both. I got the sense that Lauren was the second type of mistress but she didn't want to imply that she was a golddigga for some reason.

 

Instead, she acted like she was the heroine of a Harlequin novel - the type with the tabloid titles like The Greek Gazillionaire's Pregnant Mistress - where everyone insists on using the term 'mistress' instead of the word 'girlfriend'.

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I can't help it I have developed a soft spot for Mikey. He's like a big teddy bear with more stuffing than brains. I think he truly meant well when talking to Tenley. I appreciated that she told him to stop doing it when he said he shouldn't have to try so hard with Clare. He also continued to wear the tiny ponytail on top of his head that Clare had created for him. He told her he'd washed & styled his hair while keeping her design in the beginning of the episode. Silly & dorky but a sweet attempt on his part.

 

I go back and forth on Mikey. I agree that he was sweet with Tenley, and he really did seem to have her best interests at heart. I can't really hold his stuffing for brains against him, but it is damn funny when he just doesn't get it. But I didn't care for how he told Jerod that if this had happened in the real world he'd beat him up. Talk about overreaction. I get that he was hurting, but he went overboard with that.

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Mistress usually implies a wife or that he pay all your expenses or both. I got the sense that Lauren was the second type of mistress but she didn't want to imply that she was a golddigga for some reason.

 

Instead, she acted like she was the heroine of a Harlequin novel - the type with the tabloid titles like The Greek Gazillionaire's Pregnant Mistress - where everyone insists on using the term 'mistress' instead of the word 'girlfriend'.

I thought it was strange because I don't really think of some 24-27 year old unmarried guy having a "mistress." But he can't be very old because we all know how Lauren feels about those 30-ish "old" people, right? ...so it was weird to me that she called herself a "mistress" when not only was he not married, he's presumably pretty young. So he's just some lame mid-20s dude cheating on his girlfriend. Lauren's an idiot. I agree that she's trying to imbue the situation with some sort of "illicit romance" element in her own head. Her blindness would be sort of sad if she wasn't a person who spends all her time being obnoxious and tearing other people down. 

Edited by wovenloaf
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I thought it was strange because I don't really think of some 24-27 year old unmarried guy having a "mistress." But he can't be very old because we all know how Lauren feels about those 30-ish "old" people, right? ...so it was weird to me that she called herself a "mistress" when not only was he not married, he's presumably pretty young. 

Well, we only know how they feel about "Old"  female people.  I don't presume he's young. 

 

"Mistress"  means she's the "secret"  one.  He has a girlfriend he is seen with in public, and then the "mistress"  is the one he has just for sex.  

I bet the guy is at least in his 40's, likely 50's  and Lauren feels very superior to the "Old"  girlfriend.  And he probably buys Lauren  gifts, because that's part of the "mistress" thing - being a "kept woman".   Pays her rent, gives her an allowance, jewelry, whatever.  

The difference between Mistress and girlfriend is that one relationship is public, one is hidden.  He's not cheating on Lauren, he's cheating on his main relationship. 

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I am confused about the mistress idea. Doesn't the word mistress imply a wife? A boyfriend with a girlfriend already just means you're a side piece for a cheater. I guess that doesn't sound as klassy.

Precisely!  Though I think in reality, she's actually just a convenient booty-call.

 

I'm still flummoxed about how uneasy both girls were around the guys.  Maybe it's because I grew up with 2 older brothers and there is nothing on earth that cures a girl of being uncomfortable around "boys" than having to share a bathroom with them.   It absolutely shatters the mystery and destroys the mystique!  They are not scary or intimidating, just kinda gross.  *LOL*

Edited by leighdear
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I like Dan Cox and Ashley S. together.  He really is a stand out in terms of being an all around great guy.  As they were being seated for their dinner date, Dan pulled out the Ashley's chair and said, "Here Ashley, I don't want you to fall down".  The comment had nothing to do with alcohol, he was just being kind/caring and sincere with her.  Dan does have a sense of humor, but he also has deep insights into what is happening all around him with the people in Paradise.  I'm thinking the world must be a beautiful place... in Dan's mind.

Edited by Phoenix
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I just don't think Lauren knows what mistress means.  It was as if she was trying to make the relationship sound more....mysterious I guess than what it is.  Mistress is a more seductive and....maybe classy word than skank.  I agree with a previous poster she makes it seem like she's in a Harlequin novel.

 

I still like Mickey.  Poor guy =(  Yeah Claire did lay everything out for him and he just didn't see it but IDK I feel for anyone that is heartbroken and he seemed to generally be that way.  Plus the realization that he is leaving is crashing in on him.  IDK, maybe I can see how he just didn't want to see that Claire wasn't that into him.  She seemed to be generally nice and sweet around him (hugging him and such) so maybe that's all he wanted to see.

 

Juelia is not entertaining TV. She's 30 not 18 so she should be a little bit wiser. I hate to agree with Joe on anything but she doesn't seem that bright. Stay home with your young child & try match.com. Reality TV is not how to find your substitue baby daddy. Good grief I know being a parent doesn't mean you stop living but IMO it means you have a whole new level to consider in your decisions. Go home Juelia. (Is that how you spell it? Her name baffles me.)

Juelia seems like that kind of person I would want to be friends with in real life.  She does seem sweet, laid back, and simply nice person.  I hate that kindness & good nature seems to equal naive on shows like this though. 

 

On a very vain note though holy cow the humidity in Mexico is killing her hair!  She seems to have thick hair like me and I can sympathize--beach head is not pretty.  Frizz city!  I would be pulling that back in a ponytail or something. 

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Well, we only know how they feel about "Old"  female people.  I don't presume he's young. 

 

"Mistress"  means she's the "secret"  one.  He has a girlfriend he is seen with in public, and then the "mistress"  is the one he has just for sex.  

I bet the guy is at least in his 40's, likely 50's  and Lauren feels very superior to the "Old"  girlfriend.  And he probably buys Lauren  gifts, because that's part of the "mistress" thing - being a "kept woman".   Pays her rent, gives her an allowance, jewelry, whatever.  

The difference between Mistress and girlfriend is that one relationship is public, one is hidden.  He's not cheating on Lauren, he's cheating on his main relationship. 

Yes...I was talking about him cheating on the main girlfriend. I know what the definition of "mistress" is. My comment was directed at the connotation that pops into my head when I hear the word, which (in my head) doesn't mesh with whatever Lauren was trying to describe. 

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I loved how Jared basically ignored Mikey and his lament.  Mature and solid guy.

 

 

Yep, I never got what everyone liked about Jared in Kaitlyn's season but he really is the most level headed and likeable one there...realizing exactly what this show is....one big party where you either make an ass of yourself or you don't.  Yeah, there might be a few hook ups that last after the show, but you still get that feeling that most are pairing off to stay on the show and the jealousy is more about getting a rose than someone being with their "perceived" partner.

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I think Joshua is a bit dim he thought he would sound cool talking about Molly and drug use. And because he is not so bright he didn't read the room right and realize that people were turned off by him saying that.

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Yes...I was talking about him cheating on the main girlfriend. I know what the definition of "mistress" is. My comment was directed at the connotation that pops into my head when I hear the word, which (in my head) doesn't mesh with whatever Lauren was trying to describe. 

 

I agree. She said she was "kind of like" a mistress.  And it is "kind of."  

Edited by wings707

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Jonathan...who bragged about having 3-ways with sisters?  Who bragged about having virgins?   Yuck.   I feel no pity for that loser. He deserves what he gets.

 

IIRC, The talk started with someone asking if anyone dated sisters.  It then progressed to guy talk and some fantasizing.  I do not think Johnathan said he "had" a 3 way, it was more talking about what fun that would be.  As for virgins, it is likely that some of these men have slept with a virgin.  They were saying it was a good thing.  I don't see that as bad.  Someone said it takes a lot of work but worth it.  

 

For all the lip service men give having 2 or more women at the same time I have to wonder if that is something they really want to do or it is more bravado talking. 

 

I like Johnathan. I hope it isn't too late for Juelia to be informed by others that Joe is not into her.  I would like to see her give Johnathan another chance.  He is really into her and that is not something a woman with a child experiences a lot.   They often run like the wind and don't stop long enough to get deeply involved.  

Edited by wings707
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Well, we only know how they feel about "Old"  female people.  I don't presume he's young. 

 

"Mistress"  means she's the "secret"  one.  He has a girlfriend he is seen with in public, and then the "mistress"  is the one he has just for sex.  

I bet the guy is at least in his 40's, likely 50's  and Lauren feels very superior to the "Old"  girlfriend.  And he probably buys Lauren  gifts, because that's part of the "mistress" thing - being a "kept woman".   Pays her rent, gives her an allowance, jewelry, whatever.  

The difference between Mistress and girlfriend is that one relationship is public, one is hidden.  He's not cheating on Lauren, he's cheating on his main relationship. 

To me, maybe it's generational, a "mistress" is the paid companion (usually secret by necessity but not always) of a married man.

 

"Man paying for your living expenses while he cheats on his wife with you" is a big part of being "a mistress".   If she's just "the girl some guy goes to for sex when his gf's not around" that is NOT a mistress. That's not even a girlfriend. 

 

But I think Lauren and Ashley are both SO DUMB that they would convince themselves it's somehow complimentary when a guy who doesn't otherwise care a thing about you, WILL show up once in a while for sex.

 

I thought I disliked Ashley (just for being so weepy and stupid, otherwise, she's probably "okay" to know for women she's not competing with). But Lauren really surpassed her--and after being given such an easy way to introduce herself and make "fans" on Bachelor Nation. A much, much easier gig than TB, and she managed to leave without having had a single likable moment. Amazing!

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IIRC, The talk started with someone asking if anyone dated sisters.  It then progressed to guy talk and some fantasizing.  I do not think Johnathan said he "had" a 3 way, it was more talking about what fun that would be.  As for virgins, it is likely that some of these men have slept with a virgin, why is that bad?  Someone said it takes a lot of work but worth it.  

 

 

No, you should go back and watch again. Jonathan def said that he 'had' sisters 'at the same time'.  He also said that last line. All in confessional. Not posturing before his bros.

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And he probably buys Lauren  gifts, because that's part of the "mistress" thing - being a "kept woman".   Pays her rent, gives her an allowance, jewelry, whatever. 

The difference between Mistress and girlfriend is that one relationship is public, one is hidden. 

Yes and the difference between mistress and the p-word is number of clients,  but if I had to guess Lauren is neither one, just a second string girlfriend.

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"Mistress" doesn't mean one is receiving any type of financial compensation for the companionship. That would be a "sugar baby"--according to talk shows.

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Thanks wonald, I will take your word on it.  

 

When it looks like Clare is talking to the raccoon or the crab in that one scene, she is clearly talking to a producer.  

 

I think they have a ton of raccoon footage, probably shot in LA in a studio with a tame/trained animal and crew who works with animals. 

Edited by wings707
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How'd they get the raccoon to sit on a cushion and "drink" wine?! They must have hired a raccoon "actor"/animal wrangler this year. Worth the investment!

 

 

Actually, yes they did. That raccoon was wearing a collar, you can see where it is in his neck fur. And it actually looked healthy instead of all moth eaten, diseased and moldy like the wild one of last season.

Edited by saber5055
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IIRC, The talk started with someone asking if anyone dated sisters.  It then progressed to guy talk and some fantasizing.  I do not think Johnathan said he "had" a 3 way, it was more talking about what fun that would be.  As for virgins, it is likely that some of these men have slept with a virgin, why is that bad?  Someone said it takes a lot of work but worth it.

 

 

No, you should go back and watch again. Jonathan def said that he 'had' sisters 'at the same time'.  He also said that last line. All in confessional. Not posturing before his bros.

Yeah, he did a talking head where he bragged that he'd had sisters before and that he was hoping to get another chance at that with Ashley and Lauren. Then one of the producers told him Ashley was a virgin and the conversation took an even grosser turn where he talked about his experiences with virgins and how it's work but worth it. 

 

I can buy that he's slept with virgins but the sister thing sounded like bullshit. 

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Clare crying over Mikey's "yelling" though, was pretty ridiculous.  She handled the actual confrontation fairly well, but then she ruined it by crying about it.  She should have just walked away, with her head held high.  She really did nothing wrong, with him.  She was honest from the beginning.  His cluelessness is on him.

 

Clare was upfront with Mikey, but she steered wrong by insisting on having it out with him right then and there. If the man says something akin to "I don't want to do this, I don't want to talk to you," then respect that.  Mikey was clearly pissed off, even if it was illogical and childish, so she should have left him alone.  That's not the time to go into self-righteous defense mode, even if you're right.  For one, Clare didn't owe him an explanation, so let the big baby stew over bullshit, and for another, if she wanted to hash it out, do it when he's not visibly angry.  I want to like Clare, but she makes it so difficult.          

 

As for Mikey, I only feel for him in so much as he wanted to be left alone to pout over his bruised ego, and Clare wouldn't respect that.  But he reminds me of the "nice guy" who seems cool, but the instant his feelings are hurt or he doesn't get what he wants, he gets petty (i.e. the low-blow swipe at Clare's age to Jared and something else that was bleeped out). Grow up, dude. Especially since he only "pursued" Clare because Lauren wasn't interested in him.   

 

I'm amazed at the number of guys so far who are over 30 and seem to have arrested development.  Kirk seems to be the only relatively mature guy there.  Dan is okay, but is a gossip and kind of a shit-stirrer. Obtuse as Mikey is, I actually understood where he was coming from in the Dan conversation.  Basically, Dan was like, "Hey dude, I heard from some other girls that you might not get a rose from Clare because they don't think she's into you. And therefore, it's the gospel. You must accept this."  That's why Mikey was asking what Clare directly said, because what the hell do you do with hearsay? I assume there was conversation left on the cutting room floor, because we never actually witness Ashley or Carly say on camera to Dan that Clare told them she isn't into Mikey.  

 

Mind you, Clare was already upfront about her intentions to explore, but Dan's words were to meant to accomplish what, exactly? Same thing with Mikey and Dan going to Tenley about Joshua's drug-use braggadocio. Tenley is not a child who needs guidance away from a deviant predator.  Then again, Tenley did start to cry...god, these people are so dramatic.       

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So many ugly tattoos on display in paradise. I'd be so bummed if a guy I found attractive took off his clothes to reveal designs that I found...unappealing.

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Mikey and JJ are so clueless. "She's so into me! Oh wait, she actually hates my guts. Whatever. [Other guy] has NO GAME ANYWAY." JJ, having "moves" and "game" is not important past the age of 21. A woman in her 30s wants...gasp...a sincere, nice man. At least, Tenley does. Mikey acting like a petulant child with Clare was frustrating. She never led you on, moron. 

 

I am glad they aren't focusing so much on the so-called power couples this year. I remember being so friggin' sick of AshLee and Graham last time. This year the couples provide great color commentary, but generally stay out of the limelight. Thanks, gang!

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I like to imagine there is a whole bunch of raccoons at a nearby resort who are also playing Raccoon Bachelor in Paradise and when they get voted off they wander over the the Playa Cangrejo for their own amusement. (and yes, I am sad enough to look up how to say Crab Beach in Spanish. Such is my glamorous life).

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JJ didn't call Josh dumb because of him being a welder but because Josh is dumb (Tokyo is not in China). Josh was also stupid enough to say out loud on camera that he thought it would have been cool if there had been a group date night where they all went to a club and got wasted on Mollies. That boy needs to preserve any brain cells he has and should not be doing drugs. I use to like him and thought he was good natured about that crappy hair cut Kaitlin gave him but now I think he was wasted or just stupid (could still be good natured since that isn't mutually exclusive from wasted and stupid). JJ can be a bit of a prick but I think he is probably a good guy.

I like Ashley S and Dan (who the hell is he and damn if he isn't FINE). Those two are a gorgeous couple and they don't seem brain dead. Dan obviously can tell that Tenley is a moron and so he tries to warn her about Josh being a douche who brags about using Mollies (how cool is it to wake up with a mouth tasting like shit…WTF?). Tenley really is stupid and believes Josh. She should ask Ashley I and Ashley S who were also in the pool exactly what Josh said. Girl you are going to get burned again.

How old is Juelia's kid? How long has seen been away on The Bachelor and this show? I'm feeling judgmental. She seems like she is sweet but stupid! However her being away from her kid to be on these shows to find love is just STUPID. I think she is either stupid, lying or delusional. Seriously, the chances of finding love on these shows….LOL. Juelia used Jonathan so I don't feel bad for her being used by Joe. Sure, they didn't show her being coldly honest about it on camera but that actually makes me question her and her editing more than Joe who is upfront about it. Come on, how she ended up on the date and his interactions with her totally scream "just in it for the rose" and it seems fairly honest compared to many of them (like her and Jonathan but Jonathan may really like her…I doubt it). This is going to make everyone hate me and but from a purely superficial standpoint, she isn't hot enough for this show. Neither is mean girl Carly with the jacked up hair/make up/eyebrows. Then again, many of the dudes aren't hot enough either so I guess I am picky and superficial. Jared really needs to shave!

Claire and the raccoon were adorable and I totally flashed to the show UnReal (awesome show).

This all filmed before The Bachelorette finished airing, right? So how do the girls know Tanner and Jared and the others. Any ideas on the filming timeline vs air dates of the two shows?

Edited by Vicky8675309
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This is going to make everyone hate me and but from a purely superficial standpoint, [Juelia] [sic] isn't hot enough for this show.

 

That's both true and relevant. She left her "independent" 2-year-old at home to be the least sought-after woman there. I'm sure she could do fine in the real world but on the show she's not competitive at all.

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Memo to Juelia, when a guy goes "so, do you have a son or daughter", he did NOT look you up in advance. She should hook up with Mikey and start a clueless school.

Seriously. It was amazing how certain she was that he'd done his research on her, when the question about her kid couldn't have been any more casual.

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For some reason I thought I hadn't liked Kirk during his previous appearances on the franchise, but maybe I have him mixed up with someone else.  I  do recall there was another guy who looked so much like him that I honestly didn't know which was which, so possibly it was the other one who bugged me.  His comment about Mikey's wedding vision board was great.  I see no physical chemistry between him and Carly, but I like how comfortable they are together.

I believe you are thinking of the dentist guy who I can't remember the bachelorette season he was on. He married Michael Stagliano's ex after they met on Bachelor Pad. There was some other chick into him and they had the scene of him brushing his teeth for two minutes when she tried talking to him (I think that was Princess Tina). Can't remember his now wife's name or his LOL

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... I know nothing about Dan but he seems a lot better than some of the other guys, and his friendliness toward Mikey makes me think Mikey is not completely an obnoxious jerk.

 

Dan is this year's Graham ... (and he does sorta remind me of Hugh Jackman).

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I have so many things I want to say about this episode.  I can sum it up as... that was f*****g awesome trainwreck-ness!  This show is the bestest!

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For some reason I thought I hadn't liked Kirk during his previous appearances on the franchise, but maybe I have him mixed up with someone else.

 

 

Kirk was brought back out of obscurity for BIP. He was dropped like a hot rock when his dad's basement taxidermy business was shown on the home-town b-ette date, never to be seen nor heard from again. Well, until this season of BIP.

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