After Paradise

[Superpole2000]

Bringing Nick out was hilarious! Well handled! Chris Harrison sold the joke well.

[poopchute]

Jesus does Juelia have nothing better to do with herself?!? Save a shred of dignity and move the fuck on.

[TiredMe]

I was fooled for sec until,I realized that Chris never introduced Nick. Just dumb. What was the point of the joke when they immediately ended it.

Joe was on his apology tour. Not buying it, still a douche. And dammit show! Why you bringing on Juelia? Just stop! She continues to embarrass herself and we are done with her.

[Alapaki]

Juelia, you were ready to let that slow-witted dead-eyed Joe sex you up and bring him home to meet your daughter, and then a few days later you were fucking Mikey (including with an ill-fitting Mexican wrestling mask).  

 

But, by all means, go on telling yourself that Joe is the one setting a bad example for your daughter.

[KR Vermont]

I initially fell for the Nick fake-out because I was paying more attention to the computer screen than the tv screen. I can't multitask! ha

 

I'm cool with Ben H being TB, hope his appeal holds throughout the season.

[leighdear]

Oh praise the baby Jeebus, we don't have to deal with that stupid, smirking famewhore Ick anymore.  

 

Ben seems sweet, so you know they'll stock his show with the maximum number of crazies allowed by law!

[Madding crowd]

Ben seems a little young to be the bachelor, and I'm not convinced he has much of a personality, but I'll watch. What is with the weird facial hair these guys have going on? Much like Jared, Ben H had patchy odd facial scruff, so unattractive. I also noticed Dan (who I must say seems creepy to me though I don't know why), and Joe had the same razor part hairstyle. I also noticed Dan looked super tiny next to the co-host lady. 

[leighdear]

 

She would never tire of repeating back to him all the mean things he did. To her. A single mom.

And she's a widow, too.  Did you guys know that?

[betha]

That was so stupid. I was in the bathroom and could hear down the hall Chris announcing he was sitting with Nick. But the two of them could not seem less excited, so it was obvious he wasn't the bachelor. I did get my hopes up for a minute they were going to do both guys like they did for the women last season.

I am puzzled why nick would agree to that after they didn't offer him the gig. For a minute I thought, wait, does he *know* he's not the Bachelor?

but I am a Ben H fan and actually have hopes he will somehow stay a decent human being throughout! I know... Quite naive.

Edited August 25, 2015 by betha

[Mu Shu]

I'm not saying this with an intent to be judgy....the superfan next to Dan makes Dan look like a tiny peanut.

Holy mackerel, she's twice his size. And by twice his size I do not mean fat. The woman is a giant.

Please, can we just let whoever cares for Julalujah's young child have custody and have her exiled to Narnia or somewhere? She's such a mope. Even dumb Mickey can do better than her.

Joe looks even more like a Troglodyte in studio lighting.

[yellowcalla]

And can we also get Juelia a good therapist? She really needs to let this crap with Joe go. And sorry, her way of "standing up for women everywhere" is to come on to this show to shame Joe for the umpteenth time? Not that I have any sympathy for Joe but jeez, move on.

[KR Vermont]

I don't suppose we're NOW done hearing about the Joe-Juelia saga?! Please put it to rest. Please. And the Joe-Samantha plot too.

[MsPH]

Yea, I did not get the need to have Juelia there AGAIN. She already confronted Joe at least 5 times while in paradise. Well I guess he'd had the opportunity to think about his actions for a couple of months, so she was likelier to get an apology, but then she didn't even accept it. She said she wasn't there to attack him, just to let him say something to her, but clearly nothing he said was enough, since she proceeded to attack him anyway. Talk about not being able to let go! And doesn't she live in Oregon? Why is she in LA two weeks in a row? Just stay with your kid, Juelia!!!

 

That Nick fakeout fell so flat. Sure you broke Twitter, Chris, sure you did. I don't think anyone bought it, except maybe people who weren't paying attention.

[Alapaki]

Anyone else catch Chris Harrison slip up during his conversation with Ben?

 

He said something like "remember when I told you to just use this as a chance to cash in", then realized how it sounded and immediately rephrased to something like "use this experience to build on the life you already have."  

[reggiejax]

.looked up to see "Ashley I and Carly never participated"...what was the first part of the statement I missed as the show went to commercial?

 

I only caught a little bit of After Paradise, but this was part of it. There was a viewer question and they asked if people managed to work out while in Paradise? They then said that a couple of the BIP'ers essentially ran a boot camp type of workout throughout their stay in Paradise. It was then stated, over some footage of Carly and Ashley I sharing a bag of what looked to be Utz chips, that Carly and Ashley I were the only ones who never participated. 

[seasick]

They could have skipped the whole "Joe's journey"  retrospective and just showed his man-spread fart.  That says all one needs to know about Joe.

[Kbilly]

Dear sweet Lord, Chris Harrison said he could go another hour on Joe/Juelia. WHY???!!!! As if it wasn't enough torture to have her back on the show after being booted, we had to watch her have a one on one AND then appear on After the Final Rose. Producers really tone-deaf on this one. Is her 15 minutes up yet?

 

I laughed so hard at tiny Dan on the couch.

[Irritable]

I forgot this was on and missed it.  Sounds like I dodged a bullet if Joe and Juelia were on.  No more!  I CAN TAKE NO MORE OF THEM!!!

 

So pleased to hear that Ben is the next Bachelor.  I know he will most likely destroy everything I ever liked about him, but I always have hope in the beginning.  While I was not really a Nick fan, per se, I will admit to being intrigued by his ability to seduce women. I've always assumed he has some kind of mad pheromone game that makes him irresistible if he can just get within a few feet of his target.  Would have been funny to watch him turn every date of the season into a Fantasy Suite, with the women looking disheveled and confused the next morning saying, "I couldn't help myself.  I don't even know what happened, except that I threw myself at him and begged him to take me to bed!" 

[chocolatine]

Nick Vile never passes up the opportunity to be on TV, does he? Even when it's at his own expense. 

 

I'm so glad Ben H. is the Bachelor. The franchise needs a palate cleanser after Kaitlyn's foul season, and I think he'll provide just that.

 

Juelia is one of those people who never lets anything go. So tiresome.

[Jodio]

Giant self-proclaimed feminist lady: you are not a feminist. A feminist doesn't think that an empowered woman is a woman who manipulates a man because she's too pathetic to straight-out dump him. Samantha is an idiot and definitely not a feminist. A real feminist doesn't willingly enter into this Fleiss cesspool of misogyny, especially after seeing a real empowered, educated, career women (ahem, Bachelorette Ashley) humiliated via editing.

 

As for Joe and Joooleia, I can't even.

[Palomar]

I thought the most annoying thing about this show was the female host, but I was wrong.  Michelle Collins (first time I have heard of her) is way more annoying and even worse, she thinks she is comedienne as well.  Good luck to the other women on the View competing with her to talk. Dan looked like he wanted to escape.

 

Nick sure looks broken up after his latest Bachelorette dumping!  What a lame fake out. Thankfully his stint on Kaitlyn's season didn't provide him with his dream of becoming the Bachelor.  Let's just hope he doesn't make any more appearances to "advise" Ben.

 

How many times does Joe have to apologize!  This whole topic is such a dead horse, it is getting ridiculous.  I still think Samantha treated Julia just as badly as Joe did, if not worse.

[Armchair Critic]

I muted it when Juelia came out, please don't make us have to see or hear her grating voice again.

[DEL901]

As much as I hate Joe, Juelia - Just let it go!

[mertensia]

I think Juelia wants both an apology and to do the equivalent of shaking him him while shouting "do you understand that I am a Precious Special Snowflake and your attitude hurts double because of my Sad Hard Life as a Widow and Single Mother?" To which I'd love for someone to respond "shut the fuck up, Juelia. You want to talk about a hard life? Why don't we talk about the captured Yazidi women being used for sex by ISIS?"

[b2H]

Ah, but next week, Samantha will be on to tell 'her side' of the story.

 

We aren't done with this gag-reflex inducing story line, folks.

[Gregg247]

Great fake-out.  I totally bought it. LOL  

 

Man, I was sorry to see Nick sitting there after the commercial break, so when Chris exited (is this a real word?) him off the set, I realized we were being pranked by The Bachelor.  Nice job, show!

[seacliffsal]

I groaned out loud when Juelia was brought out. Please. Just go home and be with your daughter. Does anyone know if the ratings justify the producers' focus on Juelia? Does the public love her martydom? I just can't with her. She has an exaggerated sense of entitlement and victimhood. Also, Joe has no responsibility or obligation to be an example to her daughter....she does. I fast forwarded her a bit as she attempted to make a great statement for all of womanhood (to which I belong). She is not a spokesperson for me, and her words often don't make sense. Go home!

At first I was pleased to see Ben H. Then, he started talking and every other word or so he had an 'um' or 'ah.' That is so distracting. I would think that those who are lined up as the next bachelor or bachelorette would take some speech classes or lessons. Hopefully it won't be too distracting during his season.

[ByTor]

Benis

Freudian slip??? :)

You want to talk about a hard life? Why don't we talk about the captured Yazidi women being used for sex by ISIS?"

Seriously. Or on a lesser scale, she could truly be a single mother like many women in this country who have no help whatsoever from anyone. The fact that she has someone to watch her daughter while she is on TV to find her a new father (spare me) makes her pretty darn lucky! Speaking of finding a new father, one date with Joe and she says he will be "an amazing father"??? If this is how she selects who will be a "good father" I pity that poor little girl.

[Porkchop]

I knew Michelle Collins from a wonderful interview she did with Adam Lambert, back when Adam came in second on American Idol. She was chaming and sharp, and I was really impressed with her. Not so much this time. 

[Canada]

Ugh, Ben H is so boring.  I'm going to spend this season being bored by The Bachelor, just like last season with boring Chris.  Zzzzzzzzz....

[saber5055]

Benis

 

 

I was coming here to say the same thing, and ByTor beat me to it. Missing space bands can be so funny sometimes.

 

When Juelia came on, I turned immediately to another channel. That dead horse is completely decomposed IMO. Like it even was a big deal to begin with. Aren't you playing the same game with Mikey, Juelia? Pot/kettle.

 

I'm with all you guys who had never heard of that Michelle woman. And her head ... yikes, it was GIGANTIC and made Dan look like he was eight years old. TV hosts are so tiny IRL so they look "normal" on screen. This woman must be, what, a size 12? (I know, I know. But given that most women hosts are size 0, a 12 is gargantuan.)

 

CH saying they "just broke Twitter" made me dislike him. It's not like the universe revolves around your shows, Harrison/Fleiss, even though you pretend it does.

 

I would think that those who are lined up as the next bachelor or bachelorette would take some speech classes or lessons.

 

 

I think they do. They all are taught to add, like, like, before every, like, word. And to use pronouns correctly, as in "Ben and I's relationship." Then, of course, they will have all the skills needed to conversate with other famewhores. I mean, players. I mean, those looking for love.

Edited August 25, 2015 by saber5055

[Jaundiced Eye]

Michelle Collins (who?) really creeped me out.  She just could not keep her hands off of Joe.  Constantly touching his arm, his leg, trying to sidle up closer to him.  Give it up, lady.  Somehow I don't see Joe getting it on with someone who towers over him and who probably outweighs him by a good 80 pounds.  I was just waiting for him to snap but, alas, he didn't.

[saber5055]

I was fascinated by Dan's hair, shaved up the side to a shaved-in part, then all gelled up into a baby pompadore. Is this some new man styling and I am seeing it for the first time, before it overtakes the nation?

[Alapaki]

I just want to add how much I fucking hate this "after paradise" concept.  I'd much prefer watching a group of select bloggers/recappers who aren't on the payroll talking about how truly fucked up this show is than watching Chris Harrison and each week's chosen minions perpetuate the company-line.

[sidekickgirl]

I was fascinated by Dan's hair, shaved up the side to a shaved-in part, then all gelled up into a baby pompadore. Is this some new man styling and I am seeing it for the first time, before it overtakes the nation?

It can't be that fashion forward, as my 9 year old son and his friends have the same 'do. LOL.

I noticed joe was sporting his own version as well.

[DEL901]

Dan and Joe had the same haircut, LOL.  Is there an After Paradise barber who cuts there hair before are allowed to go on?

[saber5055]

Dan and Joe had the same haircut, LOL.  Is there an After Paradise barber who cuts there hair before are allowed to go on?

 

 

Staring at Dan's head, I was thinking Kaitlyn had something to do with it.

 

ETA: Speaking of Kaitlyn, I did like her response to Jared "not being over her" when CH had her on the phone. That it was Jared's excuse for not being "into" any of the women on BIP. I tend to agree with that, I think Jared's just there for the vaca and not looking for any ties, even the fakety fake ones manufactured for this show.

 

I also wonder what airport she was in during that call. Going ... where?

Edited August 25, 2015 by saber5055

[Kbilly]

I was fascinated by Dan's hair, shaved up the side to a shaved-in part, then all gelled up into a baby pompadore.

 

I've been watching a lot of "Peaky Blinders" and the hair would fit nicely in their gang!

[Dirtybubble]

I hesitate to say I'm happy to see Ben H. as the next Bachelor.  I liked him on Katlyn's season but I liked Juan Pablo before he became TB too and we see what happened there.  I'll still be watching though.

[leighdear]

 

I've been watching a lot of "Peaky Blinders" and the hair would fit nicely in their gang!

Totally agree.  And season 3 is gonna be EPIC!  :)

[JudyObscure]

Maybe all the men in Bachelor world were trying to figure out how Shawn won Kaitlyn and decided it must be the hair.

 

Giant self-proclaimed feminist lady: you are not a feminist. A feminist doesn't think that an empowered woman is a woman who manipulates a man because she's too pathetic to straight-out dump him. Samantha is an idiot and definitely not a feminist. A real feminist doesn't willingly enter into this Fleiss cesspool of misogyny, especially after seeing a real empowered, educated, career women (ahem, Bachelorette Ashley) humiliated via editing.

Couldn't agree more. I really hate the idea that a strong feminist woman is one who acts like a red-neck man. We have enough Joes in this world. Strong women know how to succeed in business while being fair and kind and should be paid accordingly. Some feminist women are even strong and self-sacrificing enough to stay home with their babies when tempted by endless fun vacays. Samantha and Jublia are the not feminist examples that I can see.

We're probably going to see more of Michelle Collins though. There's a long list of famous women in TV, from Vanna White to Oprah, who have giant heads.

[TheFinalRose]

Oh my goodness After Paradise is the worst show on television but I only watched it last night to see the arrival of Ben H. as the Bachelor. But then, wait, what was with his facial hair? I hope Harrison gets him to shave it off, after all, didn't he tell Jared he looked much better clean shaven?  Anyway, Ben H will be a nice palate cleanser in the Bachelor franchise ... an actual catch, in my opinion. Cue the crying crazy women.  The only down side to is that it will be JANUARY when it airs, and I'm not a fan of January in Chicago.  

 

That sit-down with Nick was lame, lame, lame, and there was a discernible lack of confidence in Harrison's timing with NIck. Harrison rushed the segment and should have slowed it down a little bit to make it look like Nick was about to be announced as the Bachelor.  I too wonder if Nick was in on the joke. If he wasn't he should just put a KICK ME sign on his back at this point.

 

 

When Juelia came on, I turned immediately to another channel. That dead horse is completely decomposed IMO. Like it even was a big deal to begin with. Aren't you playing the same game with Mikey, Juelia? Pot/kettle.

 

 

 

Speaking of horses, alive, not dead ones, the only interesting info I got out of last night's show was the fact that Joe doesn't have a job, and that his dad has racehorses.  Made me wonder if Joe comes from money? 

 

[vendredi3]

Holy mackerel, she's twice his size. And by twice his size I do not mean fat. The woman is a giant.

 

 

Exactly - I was like, who brought Brienne of Tarth on this show!?

[leighdear]

Ben definitely seems like a nice guy, because we don't actually know him yet.  And he does appear to be a "catch", but he's just an office guy.  Chris Soules owns millions of dollars in property and businesses.  For the lead, Chris was in the top 5 moneymakers, so Ben & the producers have some work to do in increasing his TVQ.  They need to really sell Ben's philanthropy and charity work to make up for his ordinary job of processing TPS reports.  Plus, he's got a very faith-based background so they'll need to pull in a few very prayerful gals. 

 

I actually think it's going to be an interesting season.  

Edited August 26, 2015 by leighdear

[yorklee2]

Ben definitely seems like a nice guy, because we don't actually know him yet.  And he does appear to be a "catch", but he's just an office guy.  Chris Soules owns millions of dollars in property and businesses.  For the lead, Chris was in the top 5 moneymakers, so Ben & the producers have some work to do in increasing his TVQ.  They need to really sell Ben's philanthropy and charity work to make up for his ordinary job of processing TPS reports.  Plus, he's got a very faith-based background so they'll need to pull in a few very prayerful gals. 

 

I actually think it's going to be an interesting season.  

I'm actually looking forward to it more than I thought I would. I agree he really seems like a nice guy. Of course TPTB have got to have some of the usual hi-jinks and drama thrown in there but let's hope they don't tarnish him too much.

[Wings]

Oh good god CH.  "I think we just broke twitter."  Not even close.  Most of us knew it was Brian and have for weeks. 

 

Works out at lunch and goes to church every Sunday.  No, just no.  This is going to be a very prim and boring season.  sigh

[ByTor]

Don't make assumptions. I go to church every Sunday, and I'm not prim. I don't deny "boring" (I'm also an accountant haha), but I'm not prim :)

Edited August 26, 2015 by ByTor

[Dirtybubble]

 

Michelle Collins (who?) really creeped me out.  She just could not keep her hands off of Joe.  Constantly touching his arm, his leg, trying to sidle up closer to him.  Give it up, lady.  Somehow I don't see Joe getting it on with someone who towers over him and who probably outweighs him by a good 80 pounds.  I was just waiting for him to snap but, alas, he didn't.

 

 

IKR?!  Good lawd woman, she couldn't have hit on him any harder if she had a hammer!  My husband was watching this show with me and when he saw Michelle the first thing that came out of his mouth was Amazon!  It's not that she is simply tall--she just a larger woman. Not fat just....big boned I guess *shrug* But yeah she creeped me out as well and still not liking blonde chick either. 

 

The weird thing is IMO the best thing about this show is Chris Harrison.  He makes a good host and asks good questions, it's when the "celebrity" (and I use that word loosely) start butting in with their opinions that things start to fall apart.  I say drop the celebrity fans all together and just have Chris and the people who are actually on the show come on and talk.

[saber5055]

Speaking of horses, alive, not dead ones, the only interesting info I got out of last night's show was the fact that Joe doesn't have a job, and that his dad has racehorses.  Made me wonder if Joe comes from money?

 

 

During the backstory packages at the start of Kaitlyn's season, Joe was pictured at a horse farm that was definitely one of the Kentucky thoroughbred farms. I was all about him going far since I "assumed" he was a horse trainer or was connected with the racing industry somehow. It was never mentioned again as far as I know, but I skipped a lot of that season, plus missed the part on this show that talked about his dad having horses.

 

Does anyone know more?

 

There are breeding farms that raise/sell racing-prospect yearlings or stand a stallion, then there are training barns ... lots of different ways to be connected to that industry. Some make money, some are a money drain!

 

Oh good god CH.  "I think we just broke twitter."  Not even close.  Most of us knew it was Brian and have for weeks.

 

 

Oh, wings, do you know how much this made me laugh?

but he's just an office guy.  Chris Soules owns millions of dollars in property and businesses.

 

 

The key is, he has a job! Amazing! That sets him apart from many of the guys who populate this show. Soules might have millions, but would he share it with a spouse? Prenup, anyone? That is, IF he ever gets married.

 

Plus a lot of office guys make a pretty good paycheck.

 

I did see one of the late-night hosts crack that because Ben appears so nice, that the women better be full-on crazies. I'm betting on that.

goes to church every Sunday.

 

 

Some do that to repent for sins committed the previous week.

Edited August 26, 2015 by saber5055

[DeLurker]

Don't make assumptions. I go to church every Sunday, and I'm not prim. I don't deny "boring" (I'm also an accountant haha), but I'm not prim :)

Watch out when she takes off the glasses and lets the hair out of the bun!