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S03.E07: Faith, Hope, Love


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If Callie is almost 18, can they just drag it out and she gets to choose to be adopted after her 18th birthday? Or is it somehow too late at that point?

 

I was wondering about that, too. 

 

I guess at 18, Callie is an adult and is no longer in foster care.  At that point, it doesn't matter if she's adopted or not from a "foster system controls your life" standpoint, because it wouldn't and she'd be free of it, like Ty.  There would be no legal reason to be adopted.  Maybe she would want that anyway to legalize a family bond?

 

I don't know if you can adopt adults.  Probably, but again, not sure of the point of doing so.

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If Callie is almost 18, can they just drag it out and she gets to choose to be adopted after her 18th birthday? Or is it somehow too late at that point?

 

She can be adopted after 18. That's what they were planning on doing I think at the beginning of season 2, but then Stef and Lena's foster license expired and Callie was pulled from the home, which led to the whole Robert situation. But now that she's 17, they're probably better off waiting until she's 18.

 

I was wondering about that, too.

I guess at 18, Callie is an adult and is no longer in foster care.  At that point, it doesn't matter if she's adopted or not from a "foster system controls your life" standpoint, because it wouldn't and she'd be free of it, like Ty.  There would be no legal reason to be adopted.  Maybe she would want that anyway to legalize a family bond?

I don't know if you can adopt adults.  Probably, but again, not sure of the point of doing so.

 

 

Yes, in the United States, you can adopt adults. There are legal reasons to be adopted as an adult. If Callie is adopted as an adult (or at 17) then she can inherit from Stef and Lena. Plus there's that legal connection if any of them get sick/have to go to the hospital, they'd be able to get information from the doctors and nurses because they're family.

Edited by DeepPoet117
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I'm the "godmother" (using quotes because we haven't had any sort of official ceremony--it's just how I'm referred to) of my best friend's child and for us that has no religious implications (I'm an atheist, her wife's an atheist, and she's non-practicing) but is just meant to denote a special relationship. To us what it basically means is that we're considered family despite not being legally or biologically related. I'm also the person who would care for the child if both parents die, but that's a whole separate thing relating to legal issues and their will.

 

Anyway, the godparent discussion did come up in the lunchroom at work one time and one of my coworkers said that a friend (or sibling?) had asked her to be the godmother to her child and she was confused by the request because she's an atheist and figured therefore she was basically not eligible. I think in the end she declined, but I think if her friend asked her, a known atheist, to be the godmother then like my friend she wasn't actually concerned with her taking a big role in her spiritual or religious guidance. Meanwhile, another coworker is Catholic but not devout. She has three kids and they have godparents and went through the whole baptism and everything, but she said she doesn't actually expect that the godparents will necessarily be actively involved in the spiritual lives of the kids. Again, they're just people who are close to them. 

 

So I think even if people are Catholic they don't necessarily treat the godparent role the same way the Church thinks of it. Which I suppose doesn't have much to do with why the priest was okay with Mariana being godmother, but at least the way that Mariana and Ana were treating the whole issue seems consistent with what I've seen and heard outside of TV. 

 

 

 

Yes, in the United States, you can adopt adults.

In fact, there are two very different contexts in which I've recently heard stories about people adopting adults. One was in a rebroadcast of a This American Life episode where one of the stories was about two men who met in prison and formed such a strong bond that one of them adopted the other. Here's a link to an article about them. The other was about a gay couple who used adoption as a way to form a legal family relationship when marriage or civil union was not available to them. 

Edited by smrou
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On Major Crimes, the foster kid was adopted after turning 18 because otherwise he would have no legal connection to his guardian who he'd formed a parent-child bond with. They talked about wanting to be next of kin in case something happened, etc. 

 

I don't think its unrealistic that non-religious people would casually think a godparent was no big deal outside of the church, but I do think its unrealistic that the priest wouldn't insist on talking to Mariana before the day of the ceremony, given that she's not even baptized. I know he said something about there usually being classes and these being special circumstances, but that seems like a big thing to waive for circumstances that really aren't all that special - the mother wants to choose someone close to her who happens to not be catholic. I'm surprised the priest would agree to baptize her without first talking to her about her beliefs or feelings about the church, let alone allow her to be an official godmother. A quick google search shows catholic godparents are supposed to be confirmed catholics, not just baptized. Being confirmed is a big thing. And if Ana was raised in such a catholic family, she likely would know these things would be an issue. Her parents certainly knew. Someone should have said earlier that Mariana couldn't really be a catholic godmother but they could still choose that role for themselves and say so at the after party, or something. 

 

But, maybe priests do let things slide more than the official rules say. I know someone who got married in the Catholic church real quick after getting pregnant, and I think she's not even catholic but her husband is, and I heard that the priest let them skip various stuff they would normally have been required to do because he knew the family and wanted to help them get the marriage done quickly under the circumstances. Not sure of the details, though. 

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Once Callie is 18 she can live wherever she wishes and the road to adoption would be, similarly, much simpler. Which was why they had the ridiculous plan for her to secretly seek emancipation and be declared legally an adult during the whole dispute with Robert.

 

As to dragging things out, this isn't like the custody dispute with Robert where the court had decided for her to keep living with Stef and Lena while she "got to know" Robert before the court made a decision so they could keep finding ways to delay the decision and she would continue staying with them. This time she's being removed from their home while the situation with Brandon is investigated and they need a decision (in their favor) in order for Callie to be able to live with them again before she turns 18.

 

Really liked that Stef/Lena reached out to Rita for guidance with the Callie/AJ situation. Liked Rita talking with Callie about bad habits - Brandon, AJ and even arguably Liam at the beginning before the rape - all foster brothers and all bad ideas. (I also liked that last week's birthday party showed us that Callie is inching ever closer to her 18th birthday.) As I stated in my annoyed post above, if they blow up Callie's adoption now - after having gone through a custody battle with a wealthy father who had private investigators at his disposal and surely would have uncovered the Brallie paperwork - I am going to be so pissed. I've seen no romantic chemistry at all between Brandon and Callie this season - none. My guess is that Callie ends up at the new Girls United for a time. Screwed again. I did notice that she has been referring to Stef and Lena as "the moms" this season - unlike prior to the end of the custody battle.

 

Stef had a line about the restraining order being "expunged", apparently she's been using her police connections and "professional courtesy" to get Brandon's records expunged and/or sealed . It's the only way that it makes even a little sense for it to have not come up before now.

 

As to the foster brother pattern, the amateur psychologist in me wants to say that Callie getting involved with 2 foster brothers after Liam might be some sort of subconscious attempt to reclaim control over what Liam did to her.

Edited by Perfect Xero
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As to the foster brother pattern, the amateur psychologist in me wants to say that Callie getting involved with 2 foster brothers after Liam might be some sort of subconscious attempt to reclaim control over what Liam did to her.

 

She definitely has a pattern, and you may be right as to why.  But, wow, at some point you'd think she'd realize that she just keeps blowing up her own life every time she follows her impulses with guys she meets.  She may be trying to reclaim control over one thing, but cedes control over her life every time she does that.

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How the heck did they let Lena leave the hospital after having lost a baby due to severe preeclampsia without monitoring her for depression, and probably getting her on antidepressants? Mid-late pregnancy losses take months for the hormones to stabilize, so post-partum depression is super-common, and add the reactive depression and grief process, and it's almost a given that you will go through what insurance terms a "major depressive episode" that requires help to resolve and get through. I really thought the show handled it fairly well as far as showing the loss and in showing the stress on the marriage, but when Lena and Stef were in therapy, at least, the therapist should have picked up on this. As should have her OB/GYN at the follow-ups (of which there would have been many, because of the after effects of PE).

I'm glad they're addressing it now. It needs to be said and showed, but it needed to be showed a long time ago in show time.

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Mariana should never even have been a candidate for being a godmother.  In Catholicism, a godparent must meet the following requirements:

1) Age 16 (unless the Bishop says otherwise)

2) Be a confirmed Catholic (Mariana wasn't even baptized)

3) Lead a life that fits with the teachings of the Catholic Church (Mariana said so herself that she doesn't believe in the Catholic teachings)

 

Basically, a godparent  must be a good, practicing Catholic since they must take responsibility for the religious and spiritual development of their godchild.  How can Mariana fulfill the role of godparent if she doesn't have any intention of practicing Catholicism?  It's ok that Mariana didn't know any of this since she wasn't raised Catholic, but Ana and her parents should've been well aware that Mariana wasn't qualified.  

 

No decent priest would let Mariana become an official godparent just because of the "special circumstances," whatever that means. The priest would require Ana to pick someone else. 

Edited by PhysNerd
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I can't say anything about the priest issue, but my theory is that the grandparents were using it as a ruse to get Mariana baptized, and were hoping to get her to be more involved in the rest of the religion once they got her interested. And Ana was too depressed to care and just went along.

 

ETA: Perfect Xero said it better.

Edited by possibilities
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