S02.E07: Doctor's Orders 2015.07.16

[woodscommaelle]

Before going to a church to check it out, wouldn't you call them to see if the date you want is available?  If it's not, why bother looking bc you'll just be disappointed.

 

The three youngest girls are super effing cute!

 

"Hello this is Brandon."  So formal.  If this is the girl you're going to marry, wouldn't her name be stored in your phone?

Edited July 18, 2015 by woodscommaelle

[SugarHigh]

Before going to a church to check it out, wouldn't you call them to see if the date you want is available?  If it's not, why bother looking bc you'll just be disappointed.

 

This. I just recently got married so I went through the planning part not that long ago and even with a generally flexible date (we wanted a Saturday in about a 4-6 week span) we didn't visit any place that didn't have a Saturday spot in that time frame open because what would be the point? And I thought rejecting the one church based on color was odd too. Michael said their colors were brown and pink. That church looked heavy on the brown (as a lot of churches seem to look, especially ones with pews).

 

"Hello this is Brandon."  So formal.  If this is the girl you're going to marry, wouldn't her name be stored in your phone?

 

I found that weird too. I'm hoping that was just something for show. 

[cereality]

I laughed at "hello this is Brandon" too. I feel like she called him at work and that's how he answers the work phone. Though most people recognize their sweetheart's number and will not do the "formal intro" when they pick up that call, but he seems like a formal guy. Honestly he seems like he can either be formal OR smiley/cheesy/giving off effeminate vibes -- with no other personality types in between. There's something about this marriage that strikes me as a "business deal" in his mind -- as in, I will provide for you financially and emotionally, you will provide me heirs and raise them. Even when they were talking about churches, it seemed so "matter of fact." I realize guys don't get super excited about wedding planning, but sometimes they get excited for what their fiancé wants -- he sounded like he was telling her to book a conference room.

[bk10]

The picking a church scenes were weird. I bet they were filmed just for the purpose of the show and Michaela already knew what church she wanted. I'm getting married next June and I can't imagine having 800 people at my wedding. That sounds crazy expensive, but I guess it's ok cause they don't have to really feed people in the way that I'm planning on feeding people. 200 is my max and I really only want like 100, but family politics....

[dccfan37]

I just can't believe they think 800 is small haha. That's so many people to me!

[zenme]

The picking a church scenes were weird. I bet they were filmed just for the purpose of the show and Michaela already knew what church she wanted.

 

Normally, I think I would agree, but Michael seemed genuinely upset, and I don't think she's that great of an actress. 

[BitterApple]

I realize guys don't get super excited about wedding planning, but sometimes they get excited for what their fiancé wants -- he sounded like he was telling her to book a conference room.

Right? He sounded like he was trying to schedule a meeting with his boss to go over the quarterly sales figures or something. It's like the wedding is just some minor annoyance he has to fit in between work commitments.

[zenme]

Right? He sounded like he was trying to schedule a meeting with his boss to go over the quarterly sales figures or something. It's like the wedding is just some minor annoyance he has to fit in between work commitments.

 

I agree, but what was odd to me was that he even needed to see the venue.  Maybe it's just me and having been married to a man who could care less about that kind of stuff, decorating the house, etc.  He just lets me do whatever I want, and he's okay with it.  Kinda like Chad, in that way.  My husband might not care for a pink room, but he'd deal with it.  (I always take him into consideration though, and would never paint our room pink!)

[Mountainair]

I'm from the south and it's pretty common that you get married in your home church and only invite the amount of people that will fit in your home church. If you don't have a home church most people pick a neutral venue (outside park, convention center, hotel). Not to say it doesn't happen but I've never known anyone to "shop" for churches except for Duggars and Bates people. Otherwise, you either join the church in someway, participate in counseling at the church or know someone high up at the church.

Now, it doesn't sound like they are going all Four Weddings on us by having a cocktail (Blasphemy!) hour, Dinner hour, Viennese (sp?) hour, etc but they are at least feeding their guests unlike that other large family. I heard mention of BBQ chicken and potato chips.

So, I guess in real time the wedding hasn't occurred yet-for once. I wonder what type of dress she will wear?

[BitterApple]

I'm wondering why Michael is going with potato chips. I think potato salad or macaroni salad would pair much better with barbecued chicken. I will cut her some slack however, because at least she's feeding people and serving food that's appropriate for summer. Much better than an ice cream parking lot reception in November.

[Mountainair]

I'm wondering why Michael is going with potato chips. I think potato salad or macaroni salad would pair much better with barbecued chicken. I will cut her some slack however, because at least she's feeding people and serving food that's appropriate for summer. Much better than an ice cream parking lot reception in November.

My only thoughts on that are that if you serve any type of salad, particularly mayo based you need to be sure it is properly cooled. With the chicken you can pretty much serve it straight off the grill/out of the oven and not worry about its temperature (though hot is always better than not).

I too thought it odd that the brown church would not match her pink and brown theme. Although, most southern baptist churches I am familiar with have the same drab look as all the other ones. My own decorations in the church were very minimal as I thought my church was beautiful enough (sure to get me a low score on Four Weddings but I digress). My church had beautiful stained glass windows and cathedral ceilings with wooden beams throughout. Besides two large floral arrangements up front and the first few pews decorated that's all I had.

It sounds like Micheala has a few friends in "costly" places though which is awful generous. Free flowers and cake! I still just don't get the three month turn around on these fundie weddings. I mean, I know they want to get laid ASAP but if they allowed themselves a kiss or something they could plan a nice wedding and not feel so rushed about all the details.

I don't know about other people it if I'm out of state and get an invite for a wedding two months away, odds are you can count me out. I need more time than that to work out schedules between my husband and kids two months just isn't enough time and to expect 600+ guests! Those fundie friends just really have nothing going on and live with bated breath for the next wedding invite, huh?

ETA: I know most invites go out six weeks ahead of time but I don't make it a point to attend just any body's out of state wedding either. My cousin just sent out her wedding invites and she lives across the country from me. I've known about the wedding and the date since last year so it's not like it was a surprise when the invite came in the mail. I still can't go because I just can't afford to travel that far with my two kids and well, I don't really want to go anyway :)

Edited July 18, 2015 by Mountainair

[Absolom]

I live in the land of wedding chapels and churches for hire along with more traditional arrangements.  One of our local churches advertises that they are available for weddings complete with minister.  I'm not sure if they are only open for Christian weddings or they will rent the facility to bring your own officiant.  In my own faith, you need to be a member of a parish or have arrangements made to use a different parish so the church shopping is a little different to me.

[andromeda331]

The three month turn around is really quick for planning a wedding. If it was

really small or at the courthouse it might be easier to pull off. But what their

planning dress, bridesmaids dresses, suits, and 800 people that's a lot. Most

people I know planned at least a year for the clothes, flowers, food and didn't

have anywhere near that many people coming. My sister-in-law spent a year

and half on her and my brother's wedding and they didn't have cocktails (I know

crazy to most people but neither were really drinkers also neither were twenty-one)

or dancing (my brother's kind of shy so dancing in front of his entire family and

all his friends would have horrified him and it was really nice that my sister-in-law

took his shyness into account).

 

Brandon really is an odd person. If he's not into details like most guys why would

he want to seethe churches? The fixed date is so odd to me. I only know one couple

that did that, my best friend  wanted to get married on the Fourth of July, its her

favorite holiday it they went through tons of judges before they could find one

willing to do it. They couldn't find a minister her parents church refused because

they didn't approve of her choice (which was odd because he's a really nice guy but

its apparently if you don't go to that church your heathen and not even worth saving)

and although he identifies himself as Christian, but he doesn't have  a church he goes

to or anything. For their wedding it was just them, his brother, and her parents they went

to Garden of the Gods to have the ceremony. They didn't have money for a reception,

clothes or anything, in fact two months before their wedding she got laid off and had to

keep the money they used for their wedding for rent and etc in case it took her awhile

to find a job. And their family really didn't have any money to help them either.

 But it was still really pretty.

Edited July 19, 2015 by andromeda331

[trimthatfat]

Everyone I know who has had a church wedding had the wedding ceremony where they or their future spouse was a member. My old church won't marry a couple that isn't a member of the church. I guess it's different in fundie circles. It is silly to me (and a huge waste of time) to go to a venue without calling beforehand to find out if it is available on the date that's desired. I couldn't imagine having 800-1000 wedding guests. Even 500 is insane to me.

 

I've also never heard of someone not having a fixed wedding date. I had a fixed wedding date and just found a venue that was available for that date. Most everyone I know has done it that way. This thread is the first time I've heard of couples just having date ranges.

 

I chuckled when Erin joked that Michael might need to find a new groom if Brandon couldn't make any of the dates Michael suggested. I like that the sisters can joke like that. "Hello, this is Brandon" was odd to me. He sounds so rigid sometimes.

Edited July 19, 2015 by trimthatfat

[zenme]

I ]chuckled when .Erin joked that Michael might need to find a new groom if Brandon couldn't make any of the dates Michael suggested. I like that the sisters can joke like that. "Hello, this is Brandon" was odd to me. He sounds so rigid sometimes.

 

I noticed that, and Erin obviously meant it as a joke, but Michael, it seemed, DID NOT, think it was that funny.  She smiled to be nice, but I thought I could tell she didn't like that joke.  She really is smitten. 

[BitterApple]

My only thoughts on that are that if you serve any type of salad, particularly mayo based you need to be sure it is properly cooled. With the chicken you can pretty much serve it straight off the grill/out of the oven and not worry about its temperature (though hot is always better than not)

Good point. I keep forgetting these weddings are DYI and they're not going to have a professional catering crew that would have the tools to keep food hot or chilled.

I just don't understand how they truly prepare when there are no official RSVP's. You could have 200, 500 or 800 people.

I also wonder if Kelly inadvertently threw some subtle shade on Michael when she remarked how the turnout might be smaller than the previous Bates weddings. Obviously, the "first" in any family is going to be a big deal whether it's wedding or grandchild. However I wonder if Erin and Alyssa were just more popular in their circles and Kelly was trying to avoid a big letdown on the wedding day.

[cereality]

I didn't get that Kelly was managing expectations that Michael's wedding wouldn't be as big as Erin's because it wasn't the first; if anything it sounds like Michael really does want a small wedding and would be perfectly ok with 200-300 guests. She was the one who said she'd rather have a wedding like Zach's -- at 500 -- than Erin or Alyssa's larger parties.

 

Does a 500 person party necessarily have to be outdoors? I would think not - because I seem to recall Chad and Erin being indoors with 800. But the BBQ chicken makes me wonder if this will be an outdoor grilling out kind of reception. At an outdoor event in the heat of August down south in Tennessee, I would certainly stay away from serving any mayo based salads like pasta salad or potato salad or anything; it's just too hard to keep them at the right temperature -- frankly I'd stay away from them indoors too. I think they can throw a fairly nice lunch with BBQ chicken and/or burgers on the grill -- all they need is a few guys willing to be grill masters and I'm sure some of their fundie friends will step up in volunteer; if not, I can see Chad, John, and Zach handling that -- they're already married, they don't "need" to mingle at a big fundie event to find their bride. Throw that together with some sides like potato chips, salad/chopped veggies with an oil based dip, wedding cake, and maybe something like watermelon and a huge amounts of lemonade and you've got a nice casual lunch. It won't be like the Duggars serving a Dixie cup of ice cream out in the parking lot.

[KarmaG]

I just can't believe they think 800 is small haha. That's so many people to me!

 

I don't even know that many people if you add up everyone I've ever met in my 42yrs of living.

[KarmaG]

It sounds like Micheala has a few friends in "costly" places though which is awful generous. Free flowers and cake! 

 

The friends are actually two of her aunts.

[trimthatfat]

I think Michael wants a small wedding. I'm sure if it were up to her, she'd keep the wedding very small - less than 150. I can't imagine having enough food for 500 guests...800 just sounds unbelievable. I wonder what her budget is. Kelly said they give the children the same budget so I'm curious as to how they manage to have the same budget for 500 guests versus 800 guests. It probably helps a lot that Kelly has a sister who is a florist and a sister who can make professional cakes.

Edited July 19, 2015 by trimthatfat

[IndianPaintbrush]

There's not that big a difference between 500 and 800 guests when you're not paying for a reception hall, booze or professional catering.  Invitations can be printed very cheaply.  Without costs for a florist or a cake, the biggest things are the dress/bridal party attire, the church fee, the food and the photographer.  They probably have many photographer friends willing to do it cheaply.

 

Michael and Brandon could easily stretch their budget to include a honeymoon, although it doesn't sound like they'll be having much of one due to Brandon's schedule.

[BitterApple]

If I'm not mistaken, Chad does photography. He might be able to do some of the wedding pictures as his and Erin's gift to Michael and Brandon. If many of their friends also help with the food, then it's probably pretty feasible to host 800 people on the cheap. I also wonder if guests at these weddings blow off the reception altogether so they can go to a restaurant for a real meal. It's what I would do.

[Absolom]

Most of the fundie weddings are held in between meal times so there is really no need to run off for food.  Many of them are at times like 1:30, 200, or 2:30.  I don't remember what time Michaela's is scheduled, but I won't be surprised if it's early to mid-afternoon.