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S03.E01: Move On / S03.E02: But I'm Not


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It's like four different crappy shows all shoved together to make one giant ball of even crappier suckitude.

 

That would explain it, usually it's a different contrived disaster of the week, whereas this premiere felt like they crammed several of those ideas all at once.

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My favorite moment this week was when Barbie took a limp, almost-certainly-dead Julia into his arms and insta-mourned thusly:

 

"I'm here. I came back for you. Just like I promised."

 

(Also, hey, sorry you're dead and all. But I sure hope you died knowing I was in the process of attempting to rescue you, and contemplating all the other ways in which I'm pretty great. Because it would be quite the burden for me to think that you didn't. In fact, this whole thing sucks pretty badly for me as it is. But at least I can MOVE ON knowing that I was true to my word. So I've got that going for me. But hey, how you been? Did ya miss me? What am I talking about, of course you did.)

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(edited)

My favorite part was when Joe said "I never stop thinking about Angie". Too bad he didn't try that when she was alive and in constant danger.

 

" Your parents don't need you."  Marg Helgenberger you are to grief counselors what Junior's mother was to painters. 

Edited by Gudzilla
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"Your parents don't need you."  Marg Helgenberger you are to grief counselors what Junior's mother was to painters. 

 

First of all HA! Second, isn't that the case because his parents weren't actually there? They're outside the Dome someplace, so they're presumably not cocooned.

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Great job Tara. I can't help but wonder where we go from here. You start out with time altering-matrix cocoons and then segue into.......I don't know what. I have no idea where this show is going this season but I'm pretty sure that it will be lame and that Big Jim will continue to be a dick, Julia will still be dumb and gullible and Barbie will continue to bring the pretty.

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My favorite part was when Joe said "I never stop thinking about Angie". Too bad he didn't try that when she was alive and in constant danger.

" Your parents don't need you." Marg Helgenberger you are to grief counselors what Junior's mother was to painters.

Right? I'm pretty sure Angie was locked in Junior's basement for a few days, and nearly raped at one point and Joe was off following his new super hero Barbie around, and trying to convince Nori he was in her league. (As much as I disliked her, this past episode made it evident that she could do better.) It was like 1-2 weeks dome time before he saw her. Did he have any reason to think she wasn't inside the dome?

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I spent most of the time on my phone reading fan fiction during the interminably long time these episodes aired. Just...why not try to answer questions from last season, show, instead of introducing more...complications? For the record, I too, was distracted by Marg's upper lip and there was a weird tension between her and Joe in his bedroom. I thought they were discussing running off together at one point...bleh.

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During the intro when it states the done came down three weeks ago. I groaned and said damn, really, cause it feels like this shitty show has been dragging on for decades!

This episode seemed like they were forcing the plot lines just so we can have a future love trIangle between Julia, Barbie and the new chick. I did not even bother to listen to her name.

I need to stop watching this I can feel my self getting dumber with each episode.

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I don't know why I fixate on this out of all the nuttiness but, there is no way I can buy that this all happened in three weeks.  Alien pods that create a virtual reality, sure.  Junior is now a good-guy hero so never mind that psycho crap at the start ... eh why not.  It's been three weeks?  Nope, can't do it. Can not suspend disbelief. 

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During the intro when it states the done came down three weeks ago. I groaned and said damn, really, cause it feels like this shitty show has been dragging on for decades!

 

So S1 was two weeks, and S2 was one week -- because at the start of S2 the opening narration started off "Two weeks ago, a dome ..."  Bloody hell.

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Late for this, since CBS foolishly put this on Thursday from now on, and there is no way I can justify watching this live over Hannibal. And do to my work schedule, I can only get around till now.  Seems like I'm going to have to keep doing this.  At least in this case, I was able to prepare myself for two hours of this junk.  Have to get in the right mind set and everything!

 

Welcome back, Under the Dome!  The dumbest show to end all dumb shows.  Part of me wants to hate you, but another part kind of respects that you can be so incompetent at everything, but keep chugging along.  So many shows; even great ones; die even before the first season.  But not you!  You beat the odds!  I salute you, the butterflies, and those stupid pink stars.  Anyway, to the plot!

 

So, basically, Melanie's plan was just trapping all the townsfolk into some bizarre, slimy status pods, and make them feel like they escaped the Dome.  What I couldn't get was what was the she trying to do with all of them?  At first, I thought she was trying to create their perfect fantasies or something, but that wasn't the case.  Sure, Barbie found a new girlfriend, but seemed to still be all about Julia.  Norrie seem to be enjoying her "sorority" world, but Joe was clearly struggling to adopt to post-Dome life.  So, how did she decide who gets a good life, and who doesn't?

 

Meanwhile, Marg Helgenberger pops in as the world's lamest therapist, who is connected to almost everyone, and seems to be working for the Dome/Melanie on some level.  What is her deal?  Also, I was going to say why is Marg reduced to this, but then I remember that one of the last things she did was Intelligence, so, really: this isn't beneath her.  But now she and Eva just popped out of those pods, so I wonder what shit those two are going to bring.

 

The Sam stuff continues to be hilarious.  They really play it like what he did to Angie was an accident: like a drunk driving accident or something.  Or, you know, that axe of his just kept slipping out of his hand and into Angie, over and over again.  His bad! Mistakes happen!

 

During the memorial stuff, I just kept noticing that only Angie or Julia were ever mentioned.  Apparently, no one really gave a shit about Linda.  I mean, sure, she was dumber then a box of hammers, but couldn't one person be like "She had her moments!" about her.  I guess you get no respect when you die by being the meat in a truck/Dome sandwich.  No mention of Phil either, but I can understand that one.  It's hard to make "I remember when he use to be our DJ, and then he went crazy!" come off well.

 

RIP, Stoner Ben and Brett Cullen.  Sure, Ben might have been a one-dimensional character, but he was still better then most of this lot, and it was fitting he'd be the first to figure out shit was off.  And I couldn't even tell you Barbie's dad name with a gun to my head, but, hey: Brett Cullen is great and did what he could.

 

The highlights (or the closet thing to it), were easily all the stuff involving Julia and Big Jim.  Just priceless stuff right there.  Julia is just the worst, and Rachelle Lefevre looks like she doesn't know what the hell is going on half of the time.  And then there is Dean Norris.  He's just given up at even trying to do anything with this.  He knows the material is bad, but hey: those CBS paychecks sure are good, so have fun!  The scene where he just starts shooting family pictures may have been one of the funniest things this year.

 

Summer is officially here!  I can't wait!  I have total faith that this show can be even stupider this season, and I'm looking forward to every minute of it!

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In all seriousness, I don't look forward to any show the way I look forward to this one. It's like that game where a bunch of kids each write one sentence of a story and then pass it to the next kid to continue it. Assuming the kids were hammered. I keep forgetting that the entire timeline of the show is still less than a month, because they've packed about 10 years of the stupidest plot twists and turns imaginable.

The entire story line is pure insanity, the dialogue is god awful, no one does anything that makes a goddamn bit of sense, and it's all just awesome. Reading the reviews and comments on here just make it that much better.

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So S1 was two weeks, and S2 was one week -- because at the start of S2 the opening narration started off "Two weeks ago, a dome ..."  Bloody hell.

 

So the next one might be 4 weeks if there's a pattern.

 

 

Just...why not try to answer questions from last season, show, instead of introducing more...complications?

 

They claimed that we were supposed to get 'answers' this season, but so far it's just complete random bs.

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They claimed that we were supposed to get 'answers' this season, but so far it's just complete random bs.

 

Yeah, this was supposed to be the Summer of Answers.  Sorry, that's a whole different show #PLL (and there's no answers on that show either).

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Yeah, this was supposed to be the Summer of Answers.  Sorry, that's a whole different show #PLL (and there's no answers on that show either).

 

Exactly, but on UTD, I'm not even sure what's going on anymore or whatever needs to be answered, it's just random bs thrown at us while dropping previous plot points that go nowhere.

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(edited)
Exactly, but on UTD, I'm not even sure what's going on anymore or whatever needs to be answered, it's just random bs thrown at us while dropping previous plot points that go nowhere.

 

Like how/why Drownsie led them all into this white room and that somehow transformed them into individual pods that apparently appeared out of nowhere.  And how long had Christine and Eva been down in the tunnels in the pods -- predating the Dome ? months ? years ?  Because if it has been more than 3 weeks something doesn't add up.

 

And if Drownsie isn't Drownsie, who is she ?  Alien from space that came down with the egg in the meteorites.  And what is it that needs fixing in all these people from Chester's Mill  (from Drownsie's POV) ?

 

Why was Drownsie all wet when the tunnel wall came down, but she somehow had dried off (including her clothes) and had bouncing and behaving hair, no less, by the time she choked Ben to death and Julia/Junior found her ?

 

I'm still curious how "Daddy Hurry" translated in Don Barbara's mind to "bring the egg back inside the Dome".

 

If the meteor storm occurred 25 years ago that actually makes sense -- in that this show started in 2013 (And only three weeks have gone by in showtime) and Pauline/Lyle/Sam/Drownsie found the egg in 1988.  Surprisingly, the date math adds up.

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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I gave up near the end of last season so I thought I would be confused in trying again.  Based on the responses here, maybe not.  If anything I'm bugged that Norris has an iphone 6+ for some reason. 

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I gave up near the end of last season so I thought I would be confused in trying again.  Based on the responses here, maybe not.  If anything I'm bugged that Norris has an iphone 6+ for some reason. 

 

Fuck the dome!  We gotta get product placement in there somehow!

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(edited)

Fuck the dome!  We gotta get product placement in there somehow!

 

That phone was in the shared dream/Drownsie VR so maybe Skaterboy Ben just dreamed up a bigger iPhone.  </snark>

 

Upon further review, there were a couple of things I was wondering about:

  • Why did Big Jim build that barrier o' crap across the road complete with a single strand of barbed wire ?  Who is he trying to keep out ?  There's no traffic.  That just seemed so random -- or was he just killing time ?
  • Neither Julia, Big Jim or Junior even noticed that the Dome was no longer lowering ?  You would have thought Julia would noticed something was up when Drownsie drew on the wall of the Dome and it didn't go down
  • How come getting shot in the shoulder is now a shrug it off wound ?  Both Big Jim and Junior act like they aren't even wounded.  It's not like days have gone by -- it's the same day as last season's finale, they should both be bleeding out at a minimum since both wounds have gone untreated.  And their right shoulder/arm should be in a large amount of pain and probably unusable.
  • Eric La Salle's character had a photo of Christine Price showing her inside the Dome -- when was she inside the Dome ?  Which means they do have good surveillance -- and probably know that Drownsie killed Don Barbara and took the egg.
  • When Junior came out of the cocoon, his shirt still had the hole from the gunshot but the blood stain was gone.  Does this mean that they were submerged in OxyClean inside the cocoons ?
Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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Upon further review, there were a couple of things I was wondering about:

  • Why did Big Jim build that barrier o' crap across the road complete with a single strand of barbed wire ?  Who is he trying to keep out ?  There's no traffic.  That just seemed so random -- or was he just killing time ?

 

  • How come getting shot in the shoulder is now a shrug it off wound ?  Both Big Jim and Junior act like they aren't even wounded.  It's not like days have gone by -- it's the same day as last season's finale, they should both be bleeding out at a minimum since both wounds have gone untreated.  And their right shoulder/arm should be in a large amount of pain and probably unusable.
  • When Junior came out of the cocoon, his shirt still had the hole from the gunshot but the blood stain was gone.  Does this mean that they were submerged in OxyClean inside the cocoons ?

 

Fence: I forgot I wanted to mention that! Not only was it in a random place, it was only about 20 ft. long, and could easily be walked around. I thought Big Jim would be a much more functioning alcoholic that that.

 

Wound: Not only do they both seem to have Julia's super gun-shot healing powers, Junior's never bled more than a trickle. Good clotting in that family!

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(edited)

Wound: Not only do they both seem to have Julia's super gun-shot healing powers, Junior's never bled more than a trickle. Good clotting in that family!

Junior took that bullet like a fucking boss. Between his ability to take a gunshot like the manliest of men, and his cool new motorcycle guy thing, Junior is starting to look kind of attractive. (I'm not proud of my life, guys.)

Also, another good Jim line, "what, you got a hair appointment? Your roots are looking a little tired." As if any woman on this show could have hair that wasn't perfectly colored that fell into attractive loose waves.

Edited by truelovekiss
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Like how/why Drownsie led them all into this white room and that somehow transformed them into individual pods that apparently appeared out of nowhere.  And how long had Christine and Eva been down in the tunnels in the pods -- predating the Dome ? months ? years ?  Because if it has been more than 3 weeks something doesn't add up.

 

And if Drownsie isn't Drownsie, who is she ?  Alien from space that came down with the egg in the meteorites.  And what is it that needs fixing in all these people from Chester's Mill  (from Drownsie's POV) ?

 

Why was Drownsie all wet when the tunnel wall came down, but she somehow had dried off (including her clothes) and had bouncing and behaving hair, no less, by the time she choked Ben to death and Julia/Junior found her ?

 

Everything about this girl has been contrived and poorly written, and it doesn't help that she acts the same way when she was faking being good or is suddenly the villain for some reason.

 

 

Fuck the dome!  We gotta get product placement in there somehow!

 

Pod Advertisement!

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(edited)

So Big Jim is the one who gets it right this time, and even gets through to Julia Dumbway.  At least now we know the dome is evil, no more mystical dome and "let's do what the dome wants".  Hopefully this is the last episode with Julia's bandage-over-jeans chic look.  Marg Helgenberger was annoying as the dome spy or whatever she is, insinuating herself everywhere in that fake reality.  So now Barbie's fake pregnant girlfriend is under the dome with them?  How are they going to explain Joe still being tall since he spent an imaginary year in the cocoon but was only in there a day in real time?  They needn't have bothered except they called that out when he was in there.  I guess now they're building a love triangle with Norrie and Barbie's pal.  I hope Drownsey's gone for good, she annoyed the shit out of me.  Well most of the cast does, but she's something special.  More under the dumbness awaits!

Edited by Dobian
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Yep this is all f'd up! Heck I'd watch it non live if I could! But sadly it costs money to do so via CBS's site, and it's not worth it. Couldn't believe that they're going through the clone thing. I wonder if the cocoons are where the clones are coming from? 

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(edited)

The scene where they're breaking out of their cocoons reminded me of Spinal Tap where the band is in these cocoons onstage and Derek's won't open, so the stage crew has to get him out with a blow torch.  Now if Derek Smalls had emerged from one of those cocoons in UTD, that would have been one of those priceless tv moments.

 

Edit: Just thought too that Derek could wander through the tunnels looking for the way to the stage and yelling "Hello Cleveland!", while repeatedly running into the same janitor who tells him he took a wrong turn.

Edited by Dobian
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The scene where they're breaking out of their cocoons reminded me of Spinal Tap where the band is in these cocoons onstage and Derek's won't open, so the stage crew has to get him out with a blow torch.  Now if Derek Smalls had emerged from one of those cocoons in UTD, that would have been one of those priceless tv moments.

 

Edit: Just thought too that Derek could wander through the tunnels looking for the way to the stage and yelling "Hello Cleveland!", while repeatedly running into the same janitor who tells him he took a wrong turn.

Ha ha! Yes, that's exactly it! I just hope we don't get a free form jazz exploration next.

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Fuck the dome!  We gotta get product placement in there somehow!

It was more in part that if this only 3 weeks in, they're still in 2013 and with the "time jump" it would be summer 2014 so why the iphone 6?  That said...I guess the love affair of using Windows phones is over.

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morgankobi, on 26 Jun 2015 - 4:55 PM, said:

     I thought I was accidentally watching The Tommyknockers.

 

Which stars..... Marg Helgenberger.

Did it? The promos always made it seem like it starred Traci Lords (who's B-level acting would fit in pretty well on this show.

 

 

I can't help but wonder where we go from here. You start out with time altering-matrix cocoons and then segue into.......I don't know what.

Part of me is hoping for an alien to explain that they were planning to save everyone from something, but the people have been judged as too stupid to live and, with the equipment sabotaged, will have to take their chances.

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Part of me is hoping for an alien to explain that they were planning to save everyone from something, but the people have been judged as too stupid to live and, with the equipment sabotaged, will have to take their chances.

 

But Drownsie kept prattling on about "fixing" them.  What's broken that needs to be fixed ?

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But Drownsie kept prattling on about "fixing" them.  What's broken that needs to be fixed ?

Fixing something doesn't always mean something was broken. If you take a pet to the vet to get "fixed", you actually want something to not work any more. Like with the pet, or fixing a race, she might just be talking about wanting/needing things to be a certain way.

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I couldn't watch until last night and it was so frustrating, because I was anxiously looking forward to reading the snark on the forum.  Your comments are worth waiting for.  I love how no one seems to be posting "real questions" about what happened, the way people used to analyze Lost.  We all know it is ridiculous, why bother trying to understand it? Especially since whatever doesn't make sense will never matter again. 

 

As I watched the show, I kept thinking of all the Lost In Space reruns I watched as a kid - such cheesy sets.  Then when we got to the end, it was flashbacks of Bobby coming out of the shower on Dallas.  I think this episode provides answers, if the answer is "that didn't really happen, so-and-so was just dreaming it when in the cocoon."  

 

WTF at Big Jim going from shooting his son, to shooting pictures and video of his son (by the way, he was a colossal douche in that home movie) to flipping out on Drownsie "I'll be damned if I let you kill my son" bitch please, you and your son have been trying to kill each other forever.

 

I think his full speech was supposed to be "Ill be damned if I let you kill my son.  I am the only one who gets to kill my son."

 

During the memorial stuff, I just kept noticing that only Angie or Julia were ever mentioned.  Apparently, no one really gave a shit about Linda.  I mean, sure, she was dumber then a box of hammers, but couldn't one person be like "She had her moments!" about her.  I guess you get no respect when you die by being the meat in a truck/Dome sandwich.  No mention of Phil either, but I can understand that one.  It's hard to make "I remember when he use to be our DJ, and then he went crazy!" come off well.

 

RIP, Stoner Ben and Brett Cullen.  Sure, Ben might have been a one-dimensional character, but he was still better then most of this lot, and it was fitting he'd be the first to figure out shit was off.  And I couldn't even tell you Barbie's dad name with a gun to my head, but, hey: Brett Cullen is great and did what he could.

 

Re: Skater Boy's death - he only died in somebody's (Barbie's?) dreamworld.

 

Re: Memorial --- no mention of the original sheriff or the radio station lady or the restaurant owner lady or the hoarder's wife or ....

 

Then again, the memorial was only in the dreamworld too, right? And everyone was cocooned except Big Jim and the dog?  So the the only thing that really happened this episode is that Big Jim shot his TV and Drownsie is evil - or is she?  I am pretty sure Julia will say that the cocoons were to protect them.  

 

But Drownsie kept prattling on about "fixing" them.  What's broken that needs to be fixed ?

 

Apparently, Nori needed to understand that she really is a sorority girl and she should give up the angsty teen act, Barbie needed to know that there is someone better for him out there - someone who calls him by his first name rather than that of a fashion doll, Junior needed to learn that he should be a world-traveling hero instead of an an insecure guy who locks up women in his storm cellar....

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How come getting shot in the shoulder is now a shrug it off wound ?  Both Big Jim and Junior act like they aren't even wounded.  It's not like days have gone by -- it's the same day as last season's finale, they should both be bleeding out at a minimum since both wounds have gone untreated.  And their right shoulder/arm should be in a large amount of pain and probably unusable.

 

Getting shot in the shoulder was always a shrug it off wound - didn't Phil get shot in the shoulder and then went on to become sheriff, or go on a shooting rampage, or both? Anthropologists and coroners can always identify bodies from Chesters Mill because they all have this empty spot in their shoulders where they can be hit with a bullet and not get really injured, other than a small trickle of blood from the breaking of the skin.  

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(edited)
Re: Skater Boy's death - he only died in somebody's (Barbie's?) dreamworld.

 

Nope, Skater Boy Ben was strangled to death by Drownsie while he was in his pod.

 

Getting shot in the shoulder was always a shrug it off wound - didn't Phil get shot in the shoulder and then went on to become sheriff, or go on a shooting rampage, or both? Anthropologists and coroners can always identify bodies from Chesters Mill because they all have this empty spot in their shoulders where they can be hit with a bullet and not get really injured, other than a small trickle of blood from the breaking of the skin.

 

At least DJ sheriff Phil went through the motions of putting his arm in a sling for a day or so.  And wasn't DJ Sheriff Phil shot in both shoulders eventually ?

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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So S1 was two weeks, and S2 was one week -- because at the start of S2 the opening narration started off "Two weeks ago, a dome ..." Bloody hell.

I wonder if that forced the writers to come up with the virtual reality stuff to explain why all the teenagers grew a foot taller in 3 weeks.

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I wonder if that forced the writers to come up with the virtual reality stuff to explain why all the teenagers grew a foot taller in 3 weeks.

 

Which would make sense if they stayed in the Drownsie VR with a 1 year time jump, but now that they are all out of the pods after 2 episodes, all the teens are still taller and it has only been about a day in showtime under the Dome.

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Which would make sense if they stayed in the Drownsie VR with a 1 year time jump, but now that they are all out of the pods after 2 episodes, all the teens are still taller and it has only been about a day in showtime under the Dome.

Maybe the pods are like the ones that can grow a duplicate of someone in a few days or hours, depending on which sci-fi show or movie you're watching. Drownsie didn't want to wait around for whatever physical changes she meant by "fixing" them to happen.

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I think the whole Drownsie VR was just an excuse to get viewers used to the older versions of the teens so that when they pop out of the pods that is just their new normal look.

 

I guarantee that neither Joe nor Nori will finally look in a mirror and go "Hey, I'm taller -- the Dome must have changed me !"

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Just got through watching ep 1 and 2. I am surprised by the comments here. I enjoyed it a lot. No it doesn't answer questions, really. Except the one about whether or not the Dome is benign. It sounded like the "butterfly entities" needed the folks of Chester's Mill for some purpose of their own. But needed them to be "happy"/unquestioning??? I'm much more into the mythology than I was after epi one season 2.

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