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Quotes: "You're the Panty Police?"

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Alex: Red or yellow tie?
Jo: Why don't you compromise and go with orange?

Jo: BOO!
Alex: ...
Jo: Seriously? You can't even pretend to be scared?
Alex: Nothing's scarier than my real life.

Jo: You found a janitor giving himself a CT scan. [Pac North] has nowhere to go but up.

jo: Have you seen my wedding shoes?
Alex: Why are you wearing your wedding dress?
Jo: It was expensive. I'm going to wear it every Halloween.

Schmitt: I reminded [my mom] that I'm going to Capitol Hill with Nico for Halloween, and she got all weird.
Helm: She's sad you're not helping her hand out candy.
Schmitt: Well, that's what I thought, but then she asked me not to post pictures. She said a lot of our family follows me.
Helm: She doesn't want them to know you still dress up for Halloween?
Schmitt: Yeah, if by "still dress up for Halloween" you mean "are gay," then I think so.

Bailey: All I wanted to do was vent and you gave me useful advice.

Bailey: Man, I don't want to tear his skin, but this is really stuck. I think it's spirit gum. I need more alcohol wipes.
Teddy: What's spirit gum?
Koracik: If you're old enough to know what it is, you're too old for trick-or-treating.
Bailey: You want to put an age limit on Halloween?
Koracik: A town in Canada did. Sixteen. After that, it's just panhandling in a costume.

Eric: I'm saying not everyone likes surprises.
Maureen: Sure. Just people who lack a sense of adventure.

Deluca: Zola looked like she wanted to shiv me this morning. 
Jackson: Really? Why? What did you do?
Deluca: No clue.
Jackson: Yeah, well, welcome to fatherhood, buddy.
Deluca: I'm not trying to be anyone's father.
Jackson: No, you're just taking care of your girlfriend's children while she's behind bars. Totally different.

Teddy: When did everyone start spending so much time on costumes?
Bailey: What's Allison going to be?
Teddy: A baby.
Bailey: Right.
Teddy: You know that Owen's mom made all of his and Megan's costumes when they were little?
Bailey: Like, put sheets over their heads and called them ghosts? 
Teddy: No. Sewed and glue gunned and embroidered. She was an amazing Army nurse and a mom who made other moms feel inept.
Bailey: I don't think anyone equates good costumes with good parenting.

Nurse: Dead bodies like corpses or murder victims?

Hunt: Where's your costume?
Teddy: This is it - kick-ass surgeon

Hunt: What are they supposed to be?
Teddy: Zombies.
Hunt: You dressed our babies up as dead babies?
Teddy: Well, that's a terrible way to put it.

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Owen: I need to get a picture of [Allison] in this cute little hat. Oh, come on. Great. My camera's full.
Teddy: You need to delete some pictures.
Owen: No, I just need a bigger phone.

Jackson: Let's go ahead and change her pain meds from IV to oral. 
Maggie: We need to talk. 
Jackson: I am talking. To someone else. Sorry about that. And check her drain output. If it's below 20 cc, we can go ahead and remove it. Yes, you were saying?
Maggie: Your mother would like to have dinner.
Jackson: I know. She texted.
Maggie: She thinks we're still together.
Jackson: Oh.
Maggie: Yeah. "Oh. " I take it you didn't say anything to Richard, then?
Maggie: Well, I never see Richard because he's, um, he's been fired.
Jackson: And that's my fault, too? I'm having trouble keeping track with you. 
Maggie: You know what? It's fine. We can just tell them over dinner. You should bring Vic. That'd be fun. 
Jackson: I should bring Vic. Vic is fun.

Sabi: And I am not a big crier, but I'm telling to you, I cried for days. I mean, that poor little hamster. Long story short never buy a pet on Craigslist. You want to see a picture? It's gross. You'll love it. 
Maggie: Oh, oh, no, thank you.
Sabi: So Uncle Richard got fired? What happened?
Maggie: It's a long story.
Chris: Drinking again?
Maggie: What? No, no. It was a bureaucratic matter.
Sabi: "Bureaucratic matter"? So there's a really long story.

Owen: If you're not up to this, then I can get someone else, you know.
Amelia: Why wouldn't I feel up to it? Because I'm all knocked up? It's okay, Owen. I don't need a fainting couch. I will be fine.

Gemma: You made a sincere attempt at amends. If the other person doesn't want to hear it, that's not on you.

Richard: You know what Chris said to me when I told him I was an alcoholic? "That's what you get." Like ambition was to blame. Like everything would've been fine if I hadn't gotten a big head and left home.

Owen: You don't work here.
Amelia: Well, from what I've heard, most of the people who do lack the skill and sensitivity that I have, so you could just say thank you.

Owen: You don't get to come to my place of work and order me around.
Amelia: I didn't order you around. I ordered her an OB who ordered her some pills.

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Linc: Everything okay? 
Owen: Allison had us up till 3.
Teddy: Us? You slept through the whole thing. Or you pretended to.

Helm: No one's suspending Meredith Grey's license. She won a Catherine Fox award. She's a legend.
Nico: Well, I heard she operated on a fellow resident. She took out a healthy appendix.
Helm: No, she and Cristina Yang rescued an intern who removed another intern's appendix incorrectly. They were helping.
That wasn't the other Dr. Grey, the one that died in the plane crash?
Casey: Our Dr. Grey cut a patient's LVAD wire.
See, you consider these things legendary. They're also crimes.

Nancy: If I was on your operating table, you'd want me to follow your instructions, right? Lie there. Breathe in. Fall asleep. Let you do your job. That would be my best shot at survival, right?
Meredith: I see where you're going with this.
Nancy: I'm begging you, Meredith. Sit down, don't talk. And let me do my job. Please.
Meredith: I'm not a baby.
Nancy: No. You're an adult who's completely unable to be quiet no matter how much your well-being depends on it.

Nancy: Does [Castello] remember you?
Meredith: It doesn't seem like it. Which is enraging.

Nancy: Dr. Bailey, you've known Dr. Grey a long time. Could you speak about that at all?
Bailey: I met her when she was an intern.
Nancy: Would you say the two of you have grown close over all this time?
Bailey: No.
Nancy: Didn't Dr. Grey name her son after you?
Bailey: If you're asking if her son's name is Bailey, then, yes, it is.
Nancy: Dr. Grey is a well-respected general surgeon. You've agreed to that.
Bailey: Is that a question?
Nancy: Well, when you became chief of surgery, you asked Dr. Grey to become your chief of general surgery. And from my estimation, a chief of general surgery is extremely skilled, organized, dedicated, communicative. Does that sound correct to you?
Bailey: It does. And she is no longer my chief of general surgery.

Ashley: Dr. Grey has developed quite the disciplinary record over all those years you've known her, hasn't she? Your name is listed as the doctor who reported the following incidents interns, including Dr. Grey, admitting to cutting a patient's LVAD wire. Dr. Grey performed a surgery on an intern without an attending. Dr. Grey instructed a younger resident to remove a brain tumor without consent from the patient or attending. Dr. Grey would not allow an education consultant to enter her OR, so you suspended her. All of these things familiar to you, Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: All true.

Ashley: Dr. Schmitt. Dr. Schmitt. Dr. Schmitt. 
Schmitt: I'm sorry. I, uh, I've never been in a courtroom before.
Ashley: You still haven't. We're in a hotel.

Rando: Ma'am!
Linc: I wouldn't ma'am her.

Koracik: I was really surprised neither side called me in. I moonlight as an expert witness.

Amelia: I need you to operate.
Koracik: Wow. You trying to up my bad outcomes? Whoever smelt it dealt it. This one's all you, Shepherd.

Bailey: I've lost more than my job. I've lost my hospital. I lost my best surgeons. And my best friend. All because someone I thought I raised betrayed me. Now do you know how that feels?
Richard: It hurts pretty bad, doesn't it?

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Meredith: Have either one of you seen a package at the house? Cristina was sending something. You know, a "congratulations on not becoming a drifter/getting dumped by a resident" present. Knowing her, it's a cadaver.

Deluca: Bailey rehired you?
Meredith: I was going to tell you but you were too busy dumping me.

Catherine: Richard is working with someone that he may or may not have a romantic past with.
Jackson: So kind of like you and Koracik.
Catherine: That is different
Jackson: How?

Bailey: The best way to fight fear is with information.

Meredith: It may not be a tumor.
Cormac: Maybe you haven't seen many sarcomas.
Meredith: I've seen everything. And I did take out her gall bladder two years ago so some gallstones may have spilled and migrated to her back.
Cormac: So your medical opinion is you did shoddy work?

Cormac: Who are you exactly?
Meredith: Meredith Grey. I'm chief of general surgery.
Cormac: Oh, Grey, yeah. I've heard of you. You're the one who got yourself and half the staff fired.

Ben: Jo, as a reminder, trauma and your brain chemicals can prompt a human being to behave in ways that people with more balanced brain chemistry can have a hard time understanding.

Amelia: Am I a terrible mother and a worse doctor for not getting an ultrasound?
Linc: You haven't gotten an ultrasound?
Amelia: Okay, your question kind of answers my question.

Linc: I want to be supportive because I can see you're upset, but I'm confused.

Maggie: Why didn't you just tell [Koracik] to leave you alone?
Teddy: Because he's my boss and I broke his heart and I feel guilty.
Helm: Wow. So many lawsuits in one explanation.

Simms: Dr. Grey, we have an update on the package you were looking for.
Meredith: Great.
Simms: They haven't found it yet.

Catherine: Richard is having an affair.
Jackson: How do you know that?
Catherine: I saw him. He had her in his office.
Jackson: You saw Richard having sex with someone in his office?
Catherine: The door was closed.

Catherine: Stop defending that man.
Jackson: "That man"? Mom, we're talking about Richard.
Catherine: Yes, Richard, who turned his back on me the minute he hit a little career bump.
Jackson: You fired him.

Nico: Food first, then dessert.
Schmitt: I disagree with that order.

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Jo: [The baby]'s had a really hard day.
Linc: And it just got harder because now he's been kidnapped.

Linc: Jo stole a baby.
Jo: I did not steal a baby.
Meredith: Well, that's what I said when I stole a baby.
Linc: Why are people stealing babies?

Ben: You good to operate on your residents?
Miranda: It wouldn't be the first time.

Amelia: [Casey] was in the military, right? Do you think he has PTSD?
Teddy: We all do.

Jackson: You [and Teddy] set a date yet?
Owen: We're not engaged.
Jackson: Really? Wow. I figured cause you have two kids together, you live together, you marry everyone.

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Cormac: Very good coffee for a hospital. Or for anywhere really.
Meredith: Yeah, Seattle is kind of known for its coffee.

Amelia: I am more pregnant than I thought.

Cormac: You call the ER the pit?
Meredith: Yeah.
Cormac: Why?
Meredith: I don't know.

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Schmitt's mom: Is everybody decent?
Schmitt: Except for the ball gag and jock strap, we're good.

Schmitt: Jewish tradition says a friend or family member or designated shomer cannot leave the body of a loved one unattended from the moment they die until they're buried in the ground. Otherwise, their spirit just sort of like, lingers around, confused.
Nico: You're getting that off the internet?
Schmitt: It's tradition. And yes. I'm what they call culturally Jewish. I, you know, eat the bagels and know the five big prayers and went to first base with Shira Levenstein at sleep away camp.

Catherine: That's a terrible story.

Maggie: You say "actually" a lot.

Catherine: This was supposed to be a small family gathering and your plus one brought a plus one.

Catherine: Richard I am sorry, but-
Richard: Apologies don't have the word "but" after them. "I'm sorry but" is too little, Catherine.

Vic: Wait, wait, wait. You live on a boat?
Dean: Yeah.
Maggie: What is it with rich guys and boats?
Vic: You have a boat?
Maggie: Do you tell [Vic] anything?
Jackson: It was an impulse buy. I do have a boat, guilty as charged.
Maggie: "Impulse buy." Shoes are an impulse buy, maybe a car. Jackson bought a yacht. What did you spend? Two million? Three million?
Dean: Where do you dock yours?
Jackson: Getting kind of old now, Maggie. I think you're kind of embarrassing yourself.
Maggie: I'm pretty sure I'm not.

Catherine: I'm not sorry about a damn thing.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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Owen: Does Karev know [that Katherine bought Pac North]?
Weber: Well, he's dealing with family issues in Iowa. I call him and tell him the place was gonna close and he texts me a laugh until you cry emoji with a party hat.

Amelia: So you're back together [with Deluca]?
Meredith: I don't know. Why are you so interested?
Amelia: I'm anxious and I deflect when I'm anxious.

Jackson: So who are you bringing back?
Koracik: TBD.
Jackson: Don't act like you haven't decided.
Koracik: It's not an act. It's a managerial nightmare. I promise, I'll let you know as soon as I've made a decision.
Bailey: What decision?
Jackson: The foundation's absorbing Pac North and its employees. 
Bailey: Oh.
Jackson: Yup.
Bailey: In that event, uh, I'd like to make some recommendations.
Koracik: About the people you impulsively fired to set in motion a chain of events I'm still trying to clear up? No, thank you.

Bailey: Good lord, people. Just because you're injured doesn't mean you can't shower.
Simms: Dr. DeLuca said we could only eat and sleep.

Webber: If Catherine thinks she can just move me where she wants like she's playing chess and I'm some pawn-
Koracik: You're not a pawn. A rook at least. Maybe a knight.

Lauren: So you lost 25 pounds two years ago? Were you dieting?
Suzanne: I had a 6 year old and an 11 year old who were maniacs and never let me sit down. Is that a diet?

Jackson: How's Richard doing?
Maggie: Not great. How's Catherine?
Jackson: Mourning in her typical way - traveling and buying a bunch of extravagant stuff.
Maggie: When we broke up, I went online and bought a pair of jeans. Catherine went to Paris and bought a hospital.

Irene: We love the Internet. We get to watch ourselves all over again.
Schmitt: Most people hate it for that very same reason.

Amelia: [Koracik] made you interview for your old job?
Owen: No, he made me wait all day, then he made me interview. Now he's making me wait out here again while he consults with Catherine Fox.
Amelia: And you're doing it? 
Owen: Yeah. 
Amelia: Why?
Owen: Because if I give him just one reason not to give me a job here then he wins. He doesn't like me. He doesn't want me around.
Amelia: You stole his girlfriend.
Owen: Yeah, I did.

Jackson: This'll pass, you know. It feels bad now but soon enough, you guys will be joking about this over coffee.
Webber: Son, after Godzilla's done stomping all over Tokyo, the mayor doesn't take Godzilla to brunch.
Jackson: Okay, you are heartbroken so I'll forget the fact that you just compared my mother to a giant lizard monster.

Bailey: I hate that [Joey]'s all alone. I hate that he has nowhere to go.
Jo: I was him and Alex was him and we turned out okay. It's not hopeless. It's just not easy.

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