The Bachelor in the Media

[leighdear]

That's some stone-cold crazy right there.  So was all this stalking has been after they broke up in May?  Did he ever get to dip his wick with her, or is he still the most pathetic virgin ever?

I didn't even watch his season.  Since he was duller than dishwater on Becca's season & then dragged around by that shrew Tia on BIP, I felt I saw enough of him to easily opt out.  Glad I missed nothing.  *LOL*  What a loser.....

[DEL901]

His side...

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/colton-underwood-blindsided-by-cassie-randolphs-restraining-order/

[DEL901]

This is getting crazier and crazier.  
https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/11/cassie-randolph-colton-underwood-restraining-order-bachelor/

[Dejana]

Cassie was never that into Colton, but the show framed him as the hopeless romantic nice guy who deserved a chance at true love.

[truthaboutluv]

Ah 2020 - the year of complete and utter madness continues. I'm going to hope that Cassie is not so spiteful as to take out a restraining order against someone for no discernible reason. So I have to give the alleged victim the benefit of the doubt. And baby, if this is all true - Colton, Colton... 

Listen, I made no secret of my thinking Colton was a weirdo during that whole mess at the end of his season. While some Bachelor Nation viewers defended the whole mess as romantic and "omg, he jumped a wall for her", I always said that the whole thing felt problematic to me and Colton came across as the "nice guy". 

Aka the guy who thinks he deserves the woman he wants because in his mind he's such a "nice guy". The whole thing had a vibe of no really means "I can convince you to change to your mind if you just give me enough time". The fact is Cassie was not that into Colton. And she tried to bail out by using the usual excuses of "too soon for an engagement", "how do I know it's really me when there are other women there". 

Only for Colton to eliminate those excuses, which left her the only option of simply admitting she wasn't that into him. But I do think she was worried about being dragged by viewers, especially as some of the women had insisted to Colton she wasn't that into him and she insisted they were lying. So she stayed when truth is she really likely never wanted to. 

All of that is moot though if Colton is guilty of what she's accusing him of. Dude needs to get checked and really quick because that is NOT okay. And honestly, the article above telling his side doesn't really do a great job defending him. For one, I'm sure the source is really him but more importantly, the person is clearly gaslighting the hell out of Cassie. 

"What, Colton would never do that"... "but oh by the way, did we tell you how she totally dumped him as soon as he recovered from COVID and how she demanded to see the breakup post and approve it and oh btw, she totally is talking to her ex".

In other words, "if these things she's accusing him of did really happen and I'm not saying it did, well it's not like it's untrue that she's been talking to her ex and like what an awful bitch, dumping a poor guy right after he recovered from a near fatal illness and see how controlling she is, demanding to see the breakup text? So who's really the bad guy here?"

Edited September 12, 2020 by truthaboutluv

[thejuicer]

This is not looking good for Colton. Cassie seems like a reasonable person and the alleged transgressions are easily verifiable. I hope she is safe. 

[dom16]

The most terrifying part of that (even more than him putting a tracker on her car) is Colton sending himself threatening anonymous texts to make Cassie feel like they're going through something traumatic together and rely on him. That is straight up psychological abuse. 

It is genuinely depressing to me to see how many women on other social media platforms are victim-blaming her and saying she's just "seeking attention". You don't file a restraining order if you're not genuinely fearful for your safety.

[Mabinogia]

13 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

In other words, "if these thing she's accusing him of did really happen and I'm not saying it did, well it's not like it untrue that she's been talking to her ex and like what an awful bench, dumping a poor guy right after he recovered from a near fatal illness and see how controlling she is, demanding to see the breakup text? So who's really the bad guy here?"

How do they even think that any of that justifies stalking. If it is true that she was talking to her ex and she dumped Colton after he had Covid, then rather than stalking her he should consider himself lucky to have gotten rid of her before there were legal entanglements like marriage, or worse, they had kids together. 

I couldn't stand either of them and when it wasn't this serious, with restraining orders and possible threats, I thought she got what she deserved for pretending she liked a guy who even them seemed slightly unstable, but no one deserves to be afraid of someone else, I don't care if she lined up all her exes and screwed each one in front of Colton, that still isn't an excuse to put a bug in her car, it's a reason to get her out of your life. 

It is scary what some people think love and passion looks like because this:

13 hours ago, truthaboutluv said:

I always said that the whole thing felt problematic to me and Colton came across as the "nice guy". 

Is 100% the issue. Colton thought he deserved Cassie because he wanted her. He didn't give a shit what she wanted. She was always the object to be won. Unfortunately, she made the very poor choice to play into that for whatever reason and now she is paying a hefty price for it. What makes me sad is that, instead of this being a great societal learning experience, folks are blaming her for it and making every excuse for Mr. Nice Guy. 

I adore men who are nice but I hate "nice guys". They are toxic. 

[call me ishmael]

The other thing that no one seems to be pointing out is that she apparently broke it off AFTER she and her family helped him recover from Covid.  People are acting as if she did something wrong but she didn’t leave an ill person.  She waited till he had recovered and had supported him through that.  She should get credit for that.  

Edited September 12, 2020 by call me ishmael
extra word that made no sense

[waving feather]

1 hour ago, call me ishmael said:

The other thing that no one seems to be pointing out is that she apparently broke it off AFTER she has and her family helped him recover from Covid.  People are acting as if she did something wrong but she didn’t leave an ill person.  She waited till he had recovered and had supported him through that.  She should get credit for that.  

Yep, how is that source trying to spin it as if it's a BAD thing that she broke up with him after he had recovered from Covid. It's even more commendable that though she may already intended to break up with him, she and her family, putting themselves at risk, took care of him and let him stay in their family home during recovery. Colton and his family should forever be thankful to Cassie and her family for their kindness. 

The Bachelor franchise let this unstable guy to be the lead of the show. He may be a good faker but he's not that good to me.

Edited September 12, 2020 by waving feather

[Sweet-tea]

Was the TMZ articles written from Colton’s press release? I noticed it said Colton has not been Cassie for a month, not Colton said he hasn’t seen Cassie for a month. It’s an important distinction. 

This is disturbing. I never liked them as a couple and didn’t think she was into him. I’m inclined to believe her take on things. 

Remember how uncomfortable she seemed talking about Colton on the Bachelor GOAT show? Chris Harrison couldn’t get anything out of her. Maybe it was because she was/is scared of Colton?

Edited September 12, 2020 by Sweet-tea

[dom16]

5 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

If it is true that she was talking to her ex and she dumped Colton after he had Covid, then rather than stalking her he should consider himself lucky to have gotten rid of her before there were legal entanglements like marriage, or worse, they had kids together. 

But "the source" (AKA Colton) isn't even claiming that she was talking to her ex while they were still together, it was AFTER they broke up. So we're supposed to think that a single woman talking to a single man is a heinous crime worthy of stalking? And re: her breaking up with him after he recovered, what was she supposed to do? Break up with him while he's sick? Wait another 3-6 months so she doesn't look bad?

Cassie has always been in a lose-lose situation in this relationship. He never respected her wishes and essentially forced her to date him because she would've been the most hated woman in America if she turned him down on camera AGAIN after he dumped Hannah G and Tayshia for her. The show romanticising the fence jump was a slap in the face to everyone who has had to deal with a partner/ex who couldn't take no for an answer.

Edited September 12, 2020 by dom16

[DEL901]

CNN has had two good opinion pieces on how the media has romanticized persistence and stalking as if when a woman says “no” she just means “try harder” and the guy is rewarded for disregarding her feelings because his are all that count, right?   (See also the rise of the incel movement)

 

https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/24/opinions/feel-good-movies-feel-bad-stewart/index.html

https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/11/opinions/the-notebook-and-lessons-from-other-toxic-romances-stewart/index.html

Edited September 12, 2020 by DEL901

[Starlight925]

Colton jumping that wall was as unstable to me as when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch.  I never really watched Oprah (due to work), but I happened to be home the day he was on, and I saw it, as it aired.  I thought it was unbelievably bizarre and unstable then, and when Colton jumped over that wall, I had Tom Cruise/Oprah's couch flashbacks.

Colton (allegedly) put a tracking device on Cassie's bumper, he showed up at her place unannounced, he planned walks so he could be near her place, and she (says) she genuinely feared for her safety.  Let's see, ex-football player vs. 95 lb. girl.  If she says she's afraid, then I believe her.

And yes, he became so hyper focused on her that he felt he "deserved" her.  His singular focus on her was disturbing to me at the time.  I never bought into the lovey-lovey story, oh-so-romantic.  I've seen/been in situations, and I saw signs.

I really hope she's.....ok I'm going to stop there, I don't even want to say it.

Edited September 12, 2020 by Starlight925

[Kerri Johnson]

I wonder what Matt Randolph thinks of all this.

He gave us the iconic “He’s a guy line”

[RealHousewife]

On 9/12/2020 at 6:31 PM, Starlight925 said:

Colton jumping that wall was as unstable to me as when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch.  I never really watched Oprah (due to work), but I happened to be home the day he was on, and I saw it, as it aired.  I thought it was unbelievably bizarre and unstable then, and when Colton jumped over that wall, I had Tom Cruise/Oprah's couch flashbacks.

Colton (allegedly) put a tracking device on Cassie's bumper, he showed up at her place unannounced, he planned walks so he could be near her place, and she (says) she genuinely feared for her safety.  Let's see, ex-football player vs. 95 lb. girl.  If she says she's afraid, then I believe her.

And yes, he became so hyper focused on her that he felt he "deserved" her.  His singular focus on her was disturbing to me at the time.  I never bought into the lovey-lovey story, oh-so-romantic.  I've seen/been in situations, and I saw signs.

I really hope she's.....ok I'm going to stop there, I don't even want to say it.

If all that's true, it is disturbing and frightening. I'd be freaked out by anyone stalking me, especially a man more than twice my weight. I liked Colton initially, but I think a lot of us saw him as Mr. innocent because he was a baby-faced virgin. I hope Cassie is okay too. 

[waving feather]

Colton, apparently, is batshit. There are screenshots of court documents Cassie filed in the article below and just a warning guys, it describes highly disturbing behavior from Colton.

https://hollywoodlife.com/2020/09/14/cassie-randolph-granted-restraining-order-colton-underwood-stalking-harassment/

[leighdear]

Cassie keeps letting the media get her parts of the story instead of shutting all the crap down & invoking the courts & not saying anything about the legal action.

So of course, the brain switches over to the most obvious: Cassie wants to keep herself in the limelight to be the next Bachelorette after Clare.  Matt whoever will have his shot next Spring, but if they can't cull a likely new lead from his pack, Cassie may be wanting to stay innocently and vulnerably in the ABC headlights.  And stalker victim?  Pure ratings gold....   (Yeah, cynical I know.)

[Dejana]

3 hours ago, leighdear said:

Cassie keeps letting the media get her parts of the story instead of shutting all the crap down & invoking the courts & not saying anything about the legal action.

So of course, the brain switches over to the most obvious: Cassie wants to keep herself in the limelight to be the next Bachelorette after Clare.  Matt whoever will have his shot next Spring, but if they can't cull a likely new lead from his pack, Cassie may be wanting to stay innocently and vulnerably in the ABC headlights.  And stalker victim?  Pure ratings gold....   (Yeah, cynical I know.)

What could be real story here? 

Cassie, who refused to dish about the breakup on her Bachelor GOAT appearance this summer and has continued to pursue her Masters degree post-show, has since decided to do a 180, fabricated evidence and filed a false police report against her ex because...she just wasn't getting enough likes on Instagram? There wasn't a non-criminal way to get her name out there?

Or, Colton, the virgin who was fixated on one woman during his Bachelor season and wouldn't take no for an answer... Colton, who, in response to having a restraining order filed against him, says he hasn't talked to her in a month (as if you have to speak to someone in order to stalk them) and gets "sources" to "remind" US Weekly that Cassie dumped him after he recovered from Covid and started seeing her ex (even if true...so?).  Maybe Colton (himself no stranger to mutiple reality shows) was always more into Cassie than the reverse, so when their relationship ended, he coped badly and crossed the line?

The details are leaking because TMZ got hold of court documents. They find out a lot of things that celebrities would rather keep private.

TPTB liked selling the fence jump like some grand gesture out of a romantic movie. Their "wholesome" Bachelor from last year having his F1 file a restraining order against him because he's (allegedly) a stalker? Contrary to the old adage, there is such a thing as bad publicity. In a couple of weeks or so, when promo for Clare's season really ramps up, does anyone think Chris Harrison is looking forward to questions about Cassie and Colton, not to mention the show's role in pushing a happy ending on them (despite the expressed lack of interest on her part)? 

I think TPTB can make ethically dubious decisions for the sake of drama, but operate under the hope that nothing too bad will actually happen with the contestants in the long run, that can be tied directly back to the show.

 

[leighdear]

5 minutes ago, Dejana said:

I think TPTB can make ethically dubious decisions for the sake of drama, but operate under the hope that nothing too bad will actually happen with the contestants in the long run, that can be tied directly back to the show.

Totally agree.  Until somebody gets charged with manslaughter or worse, it's all good.   What's a little assault, battery, racism, sexism, etc. in somebody's background?  Kid stuff....

But nobody can MAKE either one of them talk.  Literally.  The words "No Comment" are a compete sentence.  People can and do use it all the time, and these folks can too IF they want.  But that obviously doesn't fit the narrative either one wants out in public.  Their choice.  Idiots. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Kaitlyn Bristowe on week 1 of DWTS:

 

[Zahdii]

I've got to say, that's pretty good.  If I didn't know ahead of time, I'd have to watch closely to figure out which one was the pro and which one was the talented amateur contestant.

[Dejana]

Reality Steve has Jason and Molly on his podcast for the first time. They were the first big Bachelor story he spoiled:

 

 

He writes about Cassie and Colton in his column and discusses it on the episode a bit. Steve now says he thinks Colton reached out to him to appear on the podcast this summer as preemptive damage control. He's hearing the reality show they were supposedly doing about the breakup was Colton's idea and Cassie backed out of it.

The full temporary restraining order is online, including screencaps of all the incriminating texts Colton sent to Cassie and her family/friends. It didn't leak: as Reality Steve pointed out, anyone who creates an online account with the LA court system and pays the fee for the document (under $15, I believe) can download the whole 20+ page thing for themselves. There's a link to it TheBachelor Reddit and probably other places on social media where the franchise is discussed.

 

Edited September 18, 2020 by Dejana

[leighdear]

I'm not a Kaitlyn fan, but she did a good job.  Wasn't she supposed to be some kind of dancer originally, when she was on Chris's season?  Maybe modern or Hip Hop, I think.  She has had work done, and she does that teeth-sucking thing people do with new veneers.  She looks good, just not like she used to.  She was always trim, but that's now thin.  Probably just the constant practicing.  

She could do very well if she doesn't try to be too outrageous.  She WAS the skinny dipper as a contestant, but hopefully she's grown out of it.  

Edited September 19, 2020 by leighdear

[phlebas]

So Peter might have a book coming out right as his NDA ends.  Maybe. Who knows?

Working title: "Stop Calling My Mom A Bitch God Damn It"

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a34072417/peter-weber-kelley-flanagan-bachelor-nda/

[JudyObscure]

On 9/12/2020 at 5:10 AM, dom16 said:

You don't file a restraining order if you're not genuinely fearful for your safety.

In this small town it's the redneck girl's badge of desirability, sort of a replacement for the old standard of getting the guys in the bar to fight over them.  They get the restraining order one Saturday night and are back with the man the next one.

That doesn't mean I'm on Colton's side because I always thought he was a bit off;  the type who  preferred looking and waiting to actually getting, maybe a watcher like Jerry Falwell Jr. On the other hand, Cassie already had a reputation from her first reality show, as someone who likes to play hard to get and string guys along.  They seemed perfect for each other to me.  

What I can't understand about Cassie, is if she wasn't into him and just putting up with him for the show's narrative, why didn't she break up with him a few weeks after the show ended?

On 9/15/2020 at 7:47 PM, Dejana said:

I think TPTB can make ethically dubious decisions for the sake of drama, but operate under the hope that nothing too bad will actually happen with the contestants in the long run, that can be tied directly back to the show.

 Yep.  It's just a matter of time.

[Lsk02]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

What I can't understand about Cassie, is if she wasn't into him and just putting up with him for the show's narrative, why didn't she break up with him a few weeks after the show ended?

 

I think she tried to make it work, hoped somehow the chemistry/feelings would eventually come. She was young, and it’s tough at that age to turn down a guy who is that into you. Especially in such a public relationship. I don’t question why she stuck with it as long as she did, really.  He was a “Nice Guy” and it takes a pretty savvy person to recognize that early on.  
 

The victim blaming and nastiness on her Instagram are disgusting. The guy admitted to putting a tracking device on her car and sending fake texts to make it seem like she had a random stalker. I don’t understand how anyone can question her choice to file a restraining order knowing that. 

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, Lsk02 said:

 

I think she tried to make it work, hoped somehow the chemistry/feelings would eventually come. She was young, and it’s tough at that age to turn down a guy who is that into you. Especially in such a public relationship. I don’t question why she stuck with it as long as she did, really.  He was a “Nice Guy” and it takes a pretty savvy person to recognize that early on.  
 

The victim blaming and nastiness on her Instagram are disgusting. The guy admitted to putting a tracking device on her car and sending fake texts to make it seem like she had a random stalker. I don’t understand how anyone can question her choice to file a restraining order knowing that. 

Cosign this whole post.

He put a tracking device on her car, which he admitted.  If that in and of itself doesn't qualify as reason for a restraining order, I don't know what does.  I have several young women in my family in similar age ranges to Cassie; if this happened to one of them, there would be a lot worse happening to Colton than a restraining order.  

As to why she stayed with him so long?  First of all, it wasn't really that long.  I mean, he's this cute, aw-shucks kind of guy, and she was hearing from literally the whole world that she "couldn't" let him go, that so many girls wanted him, etc.  And he was convincing her with his fence-jumping professions of loooooove.  She's young.  I get it.

There's also this bit about the two of them making a reality show, and about her family being in on it/behind it.  It wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn that she was getting pressure from all sides to make Casston (Cassie+Colton) happen.

Edited September 20, 2020 by Starlight925

[Dejana]

1 hour ago, Lsk02 said:

 

I think she tried to make it work, hoped somehow the chemistry/feelings would eventually come. She was young, and it’s tough at that age to turn down a guy who is that into you. Especially in such a public relationship. I don’t question why she stuck with it as long as she did, really.  He was a “Nice Guy” and it takes a pretty savvy person to recognize that early on.  
 

The victim blaming and nastiness on her Instagram are disgusting. The guy admitted to putting a tracking device on her car and sending fake texts to make it seem like she had a random stalker. I don’t understand how anyone can question her choice to file a restraining order knowing that. 

Cassie seems like a people pleaser and Colton's actions on the show were sold as romantic. He was a nice guy who was really into her, and she was somewhat attracted to him, so she gave things a shot. She could probably tell he was the type to take a breakup very badly (not that she could anticipate this, but he seems very clingy), so she put it off. Even now, his defenders are saying she should be more accommodating, he's just brokenhearted, and why did she have to go embarrass him by making all this public? Ugh.

*

22 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

 

There's also this bit about the two of them making a reality show, and about her family being in on it/behind it.  It wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn that she was getting pressure from all sides to make Casston (Cassie+Colton) happen.

Reality Steve said he heard the show was Colton's idea that he introduced to Cassie, that it hadn't been picked up by a network, not much had been filmed and her family wasn't involved. Cassie's sister also posted that she and her parents hadn't signed any contracts or spoken to any PTB from this supposed show. And Cassie backed out, apparently, not him. It now seems like it was Colton's delusional way of trying to stay in her life. 

*

A breakdown of the restraining order details:

Colton's fake stalker texts to himself...projecting much? It's all of his worst thoughts about himself, out loud: you're too square/awkward, she needs a bad boy, her family never liked you.

*

I really wonder how the show is going to address this. Will TPTB hide behind it being a legal matter and just never reference Colton's season again? It would be awful for any Bachelor breakup to escalate into stalking, but it's one thing if they'd seemed like a perfectly happy couple on their season. In this case, the show encouraged Colton in not taking Cassie's "no" for an answer from the start, which only fueled a dynamic that only got unhealthier from there. 

[leighdear]

1 hour ago, Dejana said:

I really wonder how the show is going to address this. Will TPTB hide behind it being a legal matter and just never reference Colton's season again? It would be awful for any Bachelor breakup to escalate into stalking, but it's one thing if they'd seemed like a perfectly happy couple on their season. In this case, the show encouraged Colton in not taking Cassie's "no" for an answer from the start, which only fueled a dynamic that only got unhealthier from there. 

ABC rarely takes responsibility, so I doubt they'll say much, if anything.  The closest they've ever gotten was in 2017, briefly "halting" filming of BIP when Corinne & Demario were sexing each other down & a crew member got freaked out.  Too many people found out for them to sweep it under the carpet as they routinely do.  ABC = Always Be Censoring

[nlkm9]

3 hours ago, Dejana said:

Cassie seems like a people pleaser and Colton's actions on the show were sold as romantic. He was a nice guy who was really into her, and she was somewhat attracted to him, so she gave things a shot. She could probably tell he was the type to take a breakup very badly (not that she could anticipate this, but he seems very clingy), so she put it off. Even now, his defenders are saying she should be more accommodating, he's just brokenhearted, and why did she have to go embarrass him by making all this public? Ugh.

*

Reality Steve said he heard the show was Colton's idea that he introduced to Cassie, that it hadn't been picked up by a network, not much had been filmed and her family wasn't involved. Cassie's sister also posted that she and her parents hadn't signed any contracts or spoken to any PTB from this supposed show. And Cassie backed out, apparently, not him. It now seems like it was Colton's delusional way of trying to stay in her life. 

*

A breakdown of the restraining order details:

Colton's fake stalker texts to himself...projecting much? It's all of his worst thoughts about himself, out loud: you're too square/awkward, she needs a bad boy, her family never liked you.

*

I really wonder how the show is going to address this. Will TPTB hide behind it being a legal matter and just never reference Colton's season again? It would be awful for any Bachelor breakup to escalate into stalking, but it's one thing if they'd seemed like a perfectly happy couple on their season. In this case, the show encouraged Colton in not taking Cassie's "no" for an answer from the start, which only fueled a dynamic that only got unhealthier from there. 

I think a contestant committing suicide (Gia) was way more upsetting and sad. 

[Starlight925]

4 hours ago, Dejana said:

I really wonder how the show is going to address this. Will TPTB hide behind it being a legal matter and just never reference Colton's season again? It would be awful for any Bachelor breakup to escalate into stalking, but it's one thing if they'd seemed like a perfectly happy couple on their season. In this case, the show encouraged Colton in not taking Cassie's "no" for an answer from the start, which only fueled a dynamic that only got unhealthier from there. 

Wow....your whole post is so enlightening.  Thank you for taking the time to post it, including the video.  Wow!

If this Colton/Cassie situation turned into something disastrous, at what point would/could ABC admit some sort of culpability?  I guarantee ABC's lawyers are working overtime already on this.

Thing is, this is a current situation, it's ongoing for Cassie, and watching the video, seeing the pages and pages of texts, plus seeing pics of the actual tracking device with duct tape still on it, and seeing the text from Cassie's brother telling Colton that he saw him in the alley....quite frankly, if I was Cassie, I'd be very scared right now.  I certainly hope she's taking every precaution necessary.

Edited September 20, 2020 by Starlight925

[Dejana]

6 hours ago, leighdear said:

ABC rarely takes responsibility, so I doubt they'll say much, if anything.  The closest they've ever gotten was in 2017, briefly "halting" filming of BIP when Corinne & Demario were sexing each other down & a crew member got freaked out.  Too many people found out for them to sweep it under the carpet as they routinely do.  ABC = Always Be Censoring

The franchise was able to move on from that because it wasn't Corinne going to the police about DeMario. The show could say some producer overreacted and there's no tape out there to contradict that point of view. A former Bachelor having a restraining order filed by his final choice on the show... The legal system is already involved and there's evidence available to the public. If Colton goes for some sort of treatment and never bothers Cassie again, TPTB may be able to get away with saying the bare minimum about this. If it escalates even further...

*

4 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

I think a contestant committing suicide (Gia) was way more upsetting and sad. 

It's not really a competition. Gia's death is sad, as is the untimely death of any former contestant.

My point was more about the show's culpability in pushing a one-sided relationship that has since turned toxic. Colton made his own choices after the season ended, but got major reinforcement on the idea that he deserved Cassie's love regardless of her feelings about it. The Colton/Cassie situation isn't over yet. Stories like this often end very badly. 

*

4 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Wow....your whole post is so enlightening.  Thank you for taking the time to post it, including the video.  Wow!

If this Colton/Cassie situation turned into something disastrous, at what point would/could ABC admit some sort of culpability?  I guarantee ABC's lawyers are working overtime already on this.

Thing is, this is a current situation, it's ongoing for Cassie, and watching the video, seeing the pages and pages of texts, plus seeing pics of the actual tracking device with duct tape still on it, and seeing the text from Cassie's brother telling Colton that he saw him in the alley....quite frankly, if I was Cassie, I'd be very scared right now.  I certainly hope she's taking every precaution necessary.

Even after the restraining order news broke, Colton (or something close to him) was still trying to make himself look like the good guy in the media ("She's talking to her ex. She didn't stay with him 4ever and ever, even after he had Covid!"), while not actually denying the substance of the allegations. It says a lot about his mindset concerning Cassie, none of it good.

Edited September 21, 2020 by Dejana

[leighdear]

3 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

I think a contestant committing suicide (Gia) was way more upsetting and sad. 

Her suicide was 3 years after being a contestant.  She did Bachelor Pad and some appearances, but had a completely different life and job away from the show, and an NBA basketball player boyfriend that was cheating on her.  Yes, very sad. 

It was also sad when Eric on Andi's season died during filming, in a sports-related accident.  Didn't have anything to do with the show though. 

This stuff is fresh and still happening.  There's some actual threat potential here to various young women, from Colton.  I see it's directly related to the show, but others may see it differently.  

[nlkm9]

On 9/20/2020 at 7:00 PM, leighdear said:

Her suicide was 3 years after being a contestant.  She did Bachelor Pad and some appearances, but had a completely different life and job away from the show, and an NBA basketball player boyfriend that was cheating on her.  Yes, very sad. 

It was also sad when Eric on Andi's season died during filming, in a sports-related accident.  Didn't have anything to do with the show though. 

This stuff is fresh and still happening.  There's some actual threat potential here to various young women, from Colton.  I see it's directly related to the show, but others may see it differently.  

Edited September 22, 2020 by nlkm9
Delete

[seacliffsal]

The way the show and contestants go on and on about the desirability and wonderfulness of the current Bachelor/Bachelorette, I can see how someone could really start believing it and therefore believe that whoever they chose should be honored to have been chosen and therefore owe a lifetime to the Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I really hope that the producers really implement psychological examinations for the leads as it could be hard to face reality after being the highly desirable lead that the contestants fawn and fight over.  Fortunately, most of the leads seem to handle "after the rose" fairly well.  I think the huge swell of fan support after the fence jumping scene may have added to the entitlement issue (what he did for love...).

[Lsk02]

Colton’s side in all of this ceased to matter when he put a tracking device on her car. No amount “leading him on” Cassie may or may not have done (which reading the texts, she was absolutely clear about their romantic relationship being over) gives him any leg to stand on in this, in my opinion. Yet the blaming of Cassie continues. This is exactly why so many women do not come forward in domestic violence situations. 

[Starlight925]

Actually, it's very clearly filmed from Colton's season that not only did Cassie not lead him on, she walked away.  Colton jumped the fence.  Colton cried and begged.  After she finally relented, she agreed to just date, not get engaged, staying at home in California.  Colton moved from Colorado to California to be near Cassie.

Cassie in no way led Colton on.

And as @Lsk02 said above, everything ceased to matter when he put a tracking device on her car, when he showed up in her parent's alley, when he sent her pages of texts.

In the Dave Neal video that @Dejana posted, he pointed out the blue: gray ration of Colton's texts to Cassie's.  I'm guessing, just from what I saw on the screen, about 70-80% of the texts were from Colton, and all of Cassie's responses were short and benign.  

Guys, this is a scary situation for Cassie, and I hope that her family keeps her safe.  Colton is unhinged.

[RealHousewife]

7 hours ago, Lsk02 said:

Colton’s side in all of this ceased to matter when he put a tracking device on her car. No amount “leading him on” Cassie may or may not have done (which reading the texts, she was absolutely clear about their romantic relationship being over) gives him any leg to stand on in this, in my opinion. Yet the blaming of Cassie continues. This is exactly why so many women do not come forward in domestic violence situations. 

Exactly. The tracking device alone is freaky. I'm shocked anyone is blaming Cassie. I don't know what I could have missed that would make what Colton's done okay. 

6 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Actually, it's very clearly filmed from Colton's season that not only did Cassie not lead him on, she walked away.  Colton jumped the fence.  Colton cried and begged.  After she finally relented, she agreed to just date, not get engaged, staying at home in California.  Colton moved from Colorado to California to be near Cassie.

Cassie in no way led Colton on.

And as @Lsk02 said above, everything ceased to matter when he put a tracking device on her car, when he showed up in her parent's alley, when he sent her pages of texts.

In the Dave Neal video that @Dejana posted, he pointed out the blue: gray ration of Colton's texts to Cassie's.  I'm guessing, just from what I saw on the screen, about 70-80% of the texts were from Colton, and all of Cassie's responses were short and benign.  

Guys, this is a scary situation for Cassie, and I hope that her family keeps her safe.  Colton is unhinged.

That's how I remember everything on the show too.

And I also hope Cassie is safe with her family.

[JudyObscure]

9 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Cassie in no way led Colton on.

When people say that I don't think they're talking about what happened on the show or the months when he had COVID but the year or so in between. A whole lot of Bachelor finalists have broken up within weeks of the show ending and angry mobs didn't come after them with pitchforks.  Cassie isn't a teenager giving in to peer pressure, she's a grown woman who should have, for her own sake and for her family's, looked Colton in the eye a few days after the show ended and told him it just  wasn't happening.  Ever. 

Colton is clearly acting in a criminal manner with the bugging device and false texting, (showing up uninvited  is bad manners, but it isn't against the law. ) I think he needs court mandated therapy for some serious problems, so I'm not taking his side or implying that Cassie deserved any of this.  I'm just saying I think she made a big mistake when she took her fame and her "fan base" too seriously and failed to do what most grown-up women have had to do at one time or another.  Nip it in the bud.

[Lsk02]

I understand what you are saying and obviously we’ll all have different opinions about whether or not Cassie led Colton on, but I do not understand why that is relevant when discussing this restraining order and his admitted harassment of her. The comments on Instagram are full of people (mostly women) claiming she led him on and wanted publicity and on and on. Complete victim blaming.

He put a tracking device on her car. None of her choices or behaviors before that matter anymore. 

Edited September 21, 2020 by Lsk02

[Starlight925]

16 minutes ago, Lsk02 said:

I understand what you are saying and obviously we’ll all have different opinions about whether or not Cassie lead Colton on, but I do not understand why that is relevant when discussing this restraining order and his admitted harassment of her. The comments on Instagram are full of people (mostly women) claiming she lead him on and wanted publicity and on and on. Complete victim blaming.

He put a tracking device on her car. None of her choices or behaviors before that matter anymore. 

Exactly.

Even if she had led him on (which I don't believe, but let's just say she did).....that's completely irrelevant, once a tracking device has been duct-taped to your car and you're spotted at 2 am in the alleyway behind your house.  Period.

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

When people say that I don't think they're talking about what happened on the show or the months when he had COVID but the year or so in between. A whole lot of Bachelor finalists have broken up within weeks of the show ending and angry mobs didn't come after them with pitchforks.  Cassie isn't a teenager giving in to peer pressure, she's a grown woman who should have, for her own sake and for her family's, looked Colton in the eye a few days after the show ended and told him it just  wasn't happening.  Ever. 

Colton is clearly acting in a criminal manner with the bugging device and false texting, (showing up uninvited  is bad manners, but it isn't against the law. ) I think he needs court mandated therapy for some serious problems, so I'm not taking his side or implying that Cassie deserved any of this.  I'm just saying I think she made a big mistake when she took her fame and her "fan base" too seriously and failed to do what most grown-up women have had to do at one time or another.  Nip it in the bud.

It looks like you quoted me saying "Cassie in no way lead Colton on." I did quote another poster who said that, but I wouldn't say that myself because I haven't followed them closely since the show and have no idea what went on in their relationship. I am team Cassie due to the reasons posted above. Colton's being a creep. 

[JudyObscure]

15 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

It looks like you quoted me saying "Cassie in no way lead Colton on." 

Sorry, I must have copied the quote from inside your post instead of the original.

 

56 minutes ago, Lsk02 said:

I understand what you are saying and obviously we’ll all have different opinions about whether or not Cassie led Colton on, but I do not understand why that is relevant when discussing this restraining order and his admitted harassment of her. The comments on Instagram are full of people (mostly women) claiming she lead him on and wanted publicity and on and on. Complete victim blaming.

 Where does it say my opinion of Cassie's behavior has to be "relevant?"  This isn't a court of law, I'm not an attorney and you aren't the judge. This is a message board dedicated to talking about TV and the people on it.  That's what I'm doing.

As for Instagram, I'm not a member and have never read of word of it. I'm not responsible for what they say.   

 

[RealHousewife]

12 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Sorry, I must have copied the quote from inside your post instead of the original.

No worries. 🙂

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 9/20/2020 at 8:52 AM, Starlight925 said:

He put a tracking device on her car, which he admitted.  If that in and of itself doesn't qualify as reason for a restraining order, I don't know what does. 

 

On 9/20/2020 at 7:47 AM, Lsk02 said:

The guy admitted to putting a tracking device on her car and sending fake texts to make it seem like she had a random stalker. I don’t understand how anyone can question her choice to file a restraining order knowing that. 

To be clear, I'm not questioning her filing a restraining order, but where/when did Colton admit putting a tracking device on her car?  The part of the request for a restraining order I've seen says (or alleges) that he admitted it to friends and coworkers.  Is there some place that the admission comes directly from him, e.g. court appearance, interview on the record, tweet?

[Starlight925]

9 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

To be clear, I'm not questioning her filing a restraining order, but where/when did Colton admit putting a tracking device on her car?  The part of the request for a restraining order I've seen says (or alleges) that he admitted it to friends and coworkers.  Is there some place that the admission comes directly from him, e.g. court appearance, interview on the record, tweet?

Good question....and I don't know if there's a direct admission from him.  Right now, he's being kept mum by his lawyers, so we will probably never hear it directly from him.

[ApprenticeFan]

Tenley (Jake's season) gave birth to a baby girl a couple of days ago.

 

Edited September 23, 2020 by ApprenticeFan

[Sweet-tea]

Just FYI: I posted an update in the BIP thread about a couple divorcing. 

[JenE4]

I’m apparently behind the times and need to still go back and read the other articles posted about Cassie’s restraining order against Colton. Yet, this article covers details on the order, has experts weighing in on the toxicity of such relationships and the media’s part in it—plus a disturbing story about Chad.

“'The Bachelor' Romanticizes Toxic Behavior, and It Has Dangerous Outcomes”
Cassie Randolph's restraining order against Colton Underwood requires us to reexamine how the series romanticizes abusive behavior.

Read in VICE: https://apple.news/AGAq0dMw8SOG5ExDlei0QVA