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The Kelly File: Duggar Interview 2015.06.03


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Separating the perpetrator from the girls was actually a "right" move, though. I have seen survivors and experts recommend alarms on bedroom doors, which would have been better as far as that goes, but they did try.

I would have also stopped doing sexual stuff as parents in front of my children FIRST, given Josh a few girlie magazines and told him masturbation was a good idea. And, set up plenty of group dates under close supervision...like bowling, skating, etc.

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(edited)

One of the most quoted verses from the Bible is Matthew 7:1 "Judge not!" Whenever someone speaks out against something that God calls sin, "Don't judge!" can be heard coming from a thousand lips. People don't like to have other people disapprove of the way they're choosing to live their life.

 

I will speak to you a hard truth. I do not write this because I think that it will bring me popularity. It won't. But it is Truth from the Word of God: the Bible. To not tell people this is to hide the truth from them. To keep silent is to not care for their eternal destiny! I care about you, and this is why I am speaking out! In this world, people have seared their consciences. The standard of what is "ok" or "permissible" in our society today, hardly reflects God's standard. People are content to live on in lying, cursing, pride, anger, bitterness, disrespecting of parents, lust, pornography, fornication, adultery, and other sexual sins-- and if anyone tries to confront them, their attitude and response is, "You live your life, I'll live mine. Don't you tell me what to do! Only God can judge me!"   —Jessa Duggar

 

 

She goes on to explain that people who minimize sin because they feel at peace with it are living on borrowed time before God (who will, creepily enough, "come as a thief in the night") takes them out.

 

So, that happened. 

Edited by Julia
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(edited)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/06/04/josh-duggars-sister-comes-to-his-defense-following-molestation-reports/

 

 

JESSA: “Well, I think in the case of what Josh did, it was very wrong. I’m not going to justify anything that he did or say it was ok, not permissible, but I do want to speak up in his defense against people who are calling him a child molester or a pedophile or a rapist, some people are saying. I’m like that is so overboard and a lie really, I mean people get mad at me for saying that but I can say this because I was one of the victims. So I can speak out and I can say this and set the record straight here. Like in Josh’s case, he was a boy, a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls. And that got him into to some trouble. And he made some bad choices, but really the extent of it was mild, inappropriate touching, on fully clothed victims, most of it while girls were sleeping”

    JILL: “We didn’t even know about it until he went and confessed it to my parents.”

    JESSA: “No, none of the victims were aware of what happened until Joshua confessed.”

    JILL: “It wasn’t like we were keeping a secret afraid or something. We didn’t know until Josh explained to my parents what his thought process was, what everything was…”

    JESSA: “My parents took [us] aside individually, and they said here’s what’s happened and of course at that point, you’re like, ohh, you’re shocked, you know.”

    JILL: “I was scared.”

 

So none of the girls were aware - that goes against the police report. Jessa's lying.

 

 

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2015/06/05/jessa-josh-duggar-was-in-puberty-and-little-too-curious-about-girls/

 

“…I was angry at first, I was like, ‘how could this happen?’ And then, you know, my parents explained to us what happened and then Josh came and asked each of us, individually I know, he asked me to forgive him.  And I had to make that choice to forgive him, you know. And it wasn’t something that somebody forced like, ‘Oh you need to do this. It’s like, you have to make that decision for yourself.”

Edited by JoanArc
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(edited)

 

 

QUOTE

One of the most quoted verses from the Bible is Matthew 7:1 "Judge not!" Whenever someone speaks out against something that God calls sin, "Don't judge!" can be heard coming from a thousand lips. People don't like to have other people disapprove of the way they're choosing to live their life.

I will speak to you a hard truth. I do not write this because I think that it will bring me popularity. It won't. But it is Truth from the Word of God: the Bible. To not tell people this is to hide the truth from them. To keep silent is to not care for their eternal destiny! I care about you, and this is why I am speaking out! In this world, people have seared their consciences. The standard of what is "ok" or "permissible" in our society today, hardly reflects God's standard. People are content to live on in lying, cursing, pride, anger, bitterness, disrespecting of parents, lust, pornography, fornication, adultery, and other sexual sins-- and if anyone tries to confront them, their attitude and response is, "You live your life, I'll live mine. Don't you tell me what to do! Only God can judge me!"   —Jessa DuggarShe goes on to explain that people who minimize sin because they feel at peace with it are living on borrowed time before God (who will, creepily enough, "come as a thief in the night") takes them out.

 

So, that happened. 

Wow- That post is going to come back and bite her.

 

ETA- the quote I was talking about - from Jessa. 

Edited by truthtalk2014
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Perhaps the women asked their parents not to talk about them, given they were sharing their story on Friday

 

From everything I've seen and read about the Duggars I would really doubt this. If anything I am betting that the Duggar daughters have been told exactly what to say and you can almost bet most of  their conversation will be about Josh the wonder boy  and about their wonderful parents and not about themselves.

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(edited)
JESSA: “Well, I think in the case of what Josh did, it was very wrong. I’m not going to justify anything that he did or say it was ok, not permissible, but I do want to speak up in his defense against people who are calling him a child molester or a pedophile or a rapist, some people are saying. I’m like that is so overboard and a lie really, I mean people get mad at me for saying that but I can say this because I was one of the victims. So I can speak out and I can say this and set the record straight here. Like in Josh’s case, he was a boy, a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls. And that got him into to some trouble. And he made some bad choices, but really the extent of it was mild, inappropriate touching, on fully clothed victims, most of it while girls were sleeping”

    JILL: “We didn’t even know about it until he went and confessed it to my parents.”

    JESSA: “No, none of the victims were aware of what happened until Joshua confessed.”

I think that this makes it pretty clear that when Jessa refers to "victims" she isn't talking about being victims of the media - although obviously she feels that way as well - but being victims of molestation. Except, of course, in the same breath she insists that Josh is not a child molester. Like I said pages ago, it's like the Duggars want to solidify Jessa and Jill's status as victims in order to give their words more weight - i.e. "you have to listen to us because we were the ones victimized by Josh!" - but at the same time, they're unwilling to call a spade a spade by calling Josh's actions what they were. They can't have it both ways. Defending Josh against accusations of pedophilia or rape is one thing, but saying that what he did doesn't qualify as molestation while simultaneously saying you were a victim doesn't work. Otherwise, what are you a victim of? Josh's curiosity? (Which led to molestation!) To use Gothard's turn of phrase, being offended?

 

What Jessa says - it was very mild, over the clothes, blah blah - reminds me of what my attitude was when I was molested by a relative. For the longest time I didn't recognize it as molestation because it was very mild compared to the awful stories that other people would come out with. I knew it made me feel uncomfortable, but.... whatever. And since I didn't recognize it as molestation or as something that was unequivocally wrong, I never thought of myself as a victim. Obviously I'm only one person, but due to my own experience, I'm skeptical of the way the girls are using the word here while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge Josh's behavior for what it was. 

 

Of course Jessa and Jill have the right to tell their own story as they see it, but by the same token I don't feel obligated to uncritically swallow what they're saying. 

 

ETA: And no, I'm not questioning their love for Josh or their parents or whether I think they've truly ~gotten over this. I am still in regular contact with the people who molested me and while I resent what happened (and the fact that they still don't recognize that what they did was wrong), I still love them and anyone who tells me that I should hate them can go fuck themselves, honestly. 

Edited by galax-arena
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So Us Magazine quotes Jill Duggar in defending her family against charges of hypocrisy as saying, “Some people, I've heard them say, you know, ‘You're hypocrites.’ Well, if you go back and look at everything people have seen in our lives…we've never claimed to be a perfect family. My parents have always actually stated…we are not a perfect family. We are just a family.”

I have two reactions to this:

1. It's good that you recognize the hypocrisy in your family.

2. Being a hypocrite does not absolve your brother or your parents of culpability. It is not a defense.

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One statement that was repeated by both parents is that Josh confessed to them each time.

 

I do not believe one word of that.

 

I don't believe it either. But if I did, I'm not sure it would make me see Josh in a better light. The fact that he "tearfully" confessed to them would suggest that he knew what he was doing was wrong. He wasn't just a curious 14 year old kid who was behaving childishly.

Edited by bencr
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You know, though, whether by nature or nurture, the water flowed down this channel for Josh, and his parents not only didn't get him effective treatment (if they did) until he'd reoffended multiple times, they taught him that male sexual response was something males don't have any control over. As much as I'm not a Josh fan, I think he could have been something other than what he turned out to be if he'd been handled responsibly.

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(edited)

If I'm not mistaken it was actually in the police report that Josh confessed to his parents prior to being caught by his sister. I don't have the energy to reread through thirty plus pages, so someone correct me if I'm wrong.

Edited by BitterApple
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I don't know Jessa/Jill motivation for the interview, they certainly didn't deserve to be molested by their brother and IMO this would be a private matter if they weren't a public family.. but they are as deep into Gothardism as their parents and for that reason alone I hope they stay off tv forever. I still have hope for some of the other kids and if they WANT to have a film crew follow the while they go 'escape amish' style then fine

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I've been trying to avoid commenting on the snipets.  Because the context of the whole interview will hopefully provide the best answer.  But....

 

Perhaps what they are saying is I didn't feel victimized by what Josh did 12 years ago but I do feel victimized by the leaking of these reports now.

 

So yes they can feel like they were not a victim then but are a victim now.  2 different pieces of cake.  You can eat one and keep one.

Yup. They're upset that their potential livelihood may be taking a powder. They now think they're "victims" of the evil, librul media, far more than they ever apparently thought they were victims of their brother's abuse. Apparently. 

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You know, though, whether by nature or nurture, the water flowed down this channel for Josh, and his parents not only didn't get him effective treatment (if they did) until he'd reoffended multiple times, they taught him that male sexual response was something males don't have any control over. As much as I'm not a Josh fan, I think he could have been something other than what he turned out to be if he'd been handled responsibly.

I agree with this and I'll repeat what I said when this story first broke ... Josh was victimized by his parents, clergy, law enforcement and the community of adults whose job it was to protect him from himself and his impulses.

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First of all... I am so thankful for this site, I keep trying to talk about this with my friends but nobody knows the details like I do and are usually like "eh I don't think it's a big deal" then when I try to inform them why in fact it is a big deal, I come off as crazy for knowing the details.

 

^^^^^^^^ THIS THIS THIS.  LOL.  I know I sound crazy, but I also want people to really understand what happened and why it's a big damn deal, and not some reality show bullshitty "scandal."  But yes.  I know exactly what you mean.

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It really annoyed me when JimBob said something to the effect of taking the show away would be punishing the whole family for what Josh did as a teenager. When did providing your family with a life away from the spotlight of reality TV become "punishment"?  I bet it would be a relief for some of the kids to not be followed around and filmed all the time and live a more private life.

 

Just goes to show you all JimBob and Michelle care about is money...and the supposed "punishment" equals a loss of income. They have role-modeled (or "trained" as they like to say") many of their kids to desire the same....to covet wealth and riches.... as we can see by the greed and boldness of the online wedding/baby registries and so on.

 

JimBob has previously claimed that 19KaC is a documentary-style Christian ministry. Yeah, right.

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(edited)

They are absolutely within their rights to tell their story their way and I hope to God that they understand that it is their story and their truth and no one gets to define it for them; not the public, not their parents and especially not their brother.  I wish I felt that their upbringing would've empowered them the way mine did.

 

Wouldn't that be the ultimate indignity ... to have your true feelings about being sexually abused co-opted by your parents and their PR machine (or anyone else for that matter)?

Edited by bencr
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FWIW, my guide says tonight's interview is with JB/M; the girls aren't mentioned. It goes on to say that they will discuss the future of the show. That should be interesting, given that Boob said they can't discuss what TLC knew and when. THAT sounds like there was a morals clause in place, and that it may well have been violated. 

 

We'll see. 

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I don't have much hope of learning anything new on tonight's interview with the Duggar girls because, in a preview, it showed Jill with a script on her lap just like Michelle had.  Tonight will just be a repeat of everything we heard last night; the girls didn't know what was happening, Josh was just a curious young boy, he didn't do anything REALLY bad like rape, he asked for forgiveness and they have forgiven him, the media is evil, etc.  After tonight I hope interest in anything Duggar goes away and they drift off into obscurity.  I know I've just about OD'd on them and am ready to put the whole entitled tribe, with the disgusting parents and eldest son, in my rearview mirror.

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By now, they may have convinced themselves that this is what happened, though.

 

They obviously knew at the time, given what's in the police report -- but I'm sure they were also very confused and alarmed and didn't want anyone to know. Even "over their clothes," there's a good chance they felt what was happening when it was happening, and felt some sensations that immediately put them into fear -- even terror -- and possibly guilt mode. And in that case you might start altering the memory in your mind right away. And then there was the long aftermath with their parents telling them things and eventually having to go and talk about it with strangers -- and these kids didn't talk to many strangers, especially non-church strangers.

 

Which is all to say that I expect the actual truth of what they felt back when it really happened has changed a lot in their minds over the years -- so many things can change your memories, and they've had a heaping helping of those things for these particular memories. .... I'm not sure I'd call anything she says now "lying," because I suspect that she inevitably lost hold of the actual truth of what happened and what she knew and what she felt years and years ago. And from then on, you're likely to be buying into whatever myth your whole family has changed the incident into.

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Well said, '3 is Enough': Dr. Keith Ablow is my new hero.  I don't think the Fox and Friends idiots were expecting that response.  Hey Elizabeth, why don't you and the hubby take a little weekend getaway?  I know of a young man who can come and babysit for you.  He's currently unemployed so you can just name the time.

 

I loved that Dr. Ablow tripped up 'journalist' Elizabeth Hasselbeck (sp?) to such a degree that she all but stuttered thorough the segment.  Why is this woman on the air?

 

Looking forward the Jill/Jessa dog and pony show this eve.  Of course the Duggar PR people decided that new mother Jill and pregnant Jessa would be the perfect ones to parade in front of the viewers, in the hopes of achieving a sympathy vote for Joshie and/or their dimwitted parents.  

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Well said, '3 is Enough': Dr. Keith Ablow is my new hero.  I don't think the Fox and Friends idiots were expecting that response.  Hey Elizabeth, why don't you and the hubby take a little weekend getaway?  I know of a young man who can come and babysit for you.  He's currently unemployed so you can just name the time.

 

I loved that Dr. Ablow tripped up 'journalist' Elizabeth Hasselbeck (sp?) to such a degree that she all but stuttered thorough the segment.  Why is this woman on the air?

 

Looking forward the Jill/Jessa dog and pony show this eve.  Of course the Duggar PR people decided that new mother Jill and pregnant Jessa would be the perfect ones to parade in front of the viewers, in the hopes of achieving a sympathy vote for Joshie and/or their dimwitted parents.  

 

You know that once Ablow even thinks you're wrong that you're screwed. I am pretty sure Ablow  was smart enough to realize that he had to actually try and be professional. I think even he knows that the Duggars have a much bigger problem on their hands than any of us know...

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How is the public clamoring to get the girls to do an interview? It looks to me like they decided to do an interview just like JB and Michelle did. If anyone is clamoring it would be the Duggars, maybe TLC, and most of all Fox news. Who is making the girls do this interview? Not me- I wish they would all STFU forever.

 

 

Agreed! 

 

I have not ONCE see any media outlet or person call for the victims to step forward...actually just the opposite..they've called on Josh to step forward and take responsibility for his actions...the victims have always been supported with just about everyone having the same sentiment.

Something tells me you will not be alone -- at all -- in those opinions.

 

I've seen a snippet, and I expect a lot of people will be just as creeped out by them and their message as they were by JB and M. Which is saying something.

 

My husband said the same thing...especially Jessa.

 

Although? I think her experience is what has caused her to appear stone cold at times...

 

I think Jill would be the one to fall apart and Jessa would keep it in and make everyone around her miserable. She just comes off as being emotionless at times..and as I have shared my story back in the other thread...it will either make you a mess or harden you.

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I'm not caught up, but DOOR ALARMS?  Just no.  The locks I pray were from the inside, so the girls had some semblance of control over their own lives.

 

I just keep thinking about this... the repeated remark, "Josh's wrongdoing" - let that sink in for a minute, wrongdoing.  Um, that brings to mind stealing a candy bar, or perhaps some cigarellos, not molestation.

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I'm not caught up, but DOOR ALARMS?  Just no.  The locks I pray were from the inside, so the girls had some semblance of control over their own lives.

 

I just keep thinking about this... the repeated remark, "Josh's wrongdoing" - let that sink in for a minute, wrongdoing.  Um, that brings to mind stealing a candy bar, or perhaps some cigarellos, not molestation.

Here's where I got that from, for some context:

 

http://www.salon.com/2015/06/04/what_the_duggars_should_have_done_for_all_of_their_kids_heres_how_to_respond_to_sexual_abuse_by_a_minor_in_the_home/ 

 

"The only person I’ve seen lay out a clear path for parents to follow if they discover that a minor in their household is acting out sexually with other children is author and death row investigator Rene Denfeld, in a private forum that I am quoting with her permission. As a foster parent and the mother to three former foster children, she’s been trained how to deal with sexually reactive kids. She said she would take the following steps if she found one of her children being sexually abusive:

1. Immediately remove the child from the home and find treatment and counseling for everyone involved.

2. If the child returns home, institute a safety plan, including line-of-sight supervision and door alarms. Continue treatment.

3. Prioritize the healing of the victims. If the acting-out child cannot return home, then find them an alternative, healthy safe place."

 

And, just to be clear, in no way am I defending the Duggars' handling of the situation. I said, and maintain, that the goal of separation between the perp and the girls is a good thing (and it may in fact have prevented even more abuse). That is all. 

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That said, the only "outing" of the older girls that were abused was by the family themselves, the police report was vague enough that there was no real way to pick out which three they were.  Having two of them identify themselves in an interview just skeeves me out, what is the purpose?  The public did not need to know!

THIS. Even on this board, where snark rules, the mods and the vast majority of posters--even during the first couple days of furious talk--refrained from speculation about the victims' identities (using the term 'victim' in the context of the police report--they are now survivors, to be sure). The Duggars themselves have chosen to supply the missing pieces and prop them in front of a camera to talk about the situation. But I am NOT surprised--it is a very Duggar sort of choice.

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(edited)

2. If the child returns home, institute a safety plan, including line-of-sight supervision and door alarms. Continue treatment.

 

I don't give three hoots who she is or what she does, the very last damn thing a person with hyper-vigilance needs is a fucking alarm sounding while they are sleeping...  That's just elementary.

Edited by NextIteration
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"Josh was a boy, a young boy in puberty and a little too curious about girls," says Jessa. "And that got him into some trouble. And he made some bad choices, but, really, the extent of it was mild – inappropriate touching on fully clothed victims, most of it while [the] girls were sleeping."

Jill, 24, adds that they "didn't even know" about the molestation until Josh had confessed to their parents. "None of the victims were aware of what happened until Joshua confessed," Jessa agrees, adding, "My parents took [us] aside individually, and they said, 'Here's what happened,' and of course at this point, you're shocked."

http://www.people.com/article/jill-duggar-jessa-duggar-josh-duggar-not-pedophile-fox-news-megyn-kelly-interview?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag

You can tell this is a JB answer. Even the report said the girls went to their parents but now Josh went to them.

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(edited)

THIS. Even on this board, where snark rules, the mods and the vast majority of posters--even during the first couple days of furious talk--refrained from speculation about the victims' identities (using the term 'victim' in the context of the police report--they are now survivors, to be sure). The Duggars themselves have chosen to supply the missing pieces and prop them in front of a camera to talk about the situation. But I am NOT surprised--it is a very Duggar sort of choice.

Not just victims (survivors), victims who feel victimized by the media. Two victims who have been featured the most in the show and magazine articles/covers for their weddings etc.

 

edit to add.. Josh is a 'young boy?' He will be an infant soon. He is already 14 who just turned 15..  let that doublespeak sink in. yeesh. Information overload here, but wasn't Josh in a courtship at 14 in one account? A young boy in a courtship?

Edited by sometimesy
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I would hope that when they splice together some scenes from the show that they would at least show one instance of the parents exhibiting their inappropriate flaunting of their sexual selves--for instance, that scene at the putt-putt course on the "double-date" with Jill and Derrick and Jessa and Ben.  That was awful, but showing it again would certainly give the people who don't watch the show an idea of why so many of us don't find the Duggars all that wholesome.

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I'm not caught up, but DOOR ALARMS?  Just no.  The locks I pray were from the inside, so the girls had some semblance of control over their own lives.

 

I just keep thinking about this... the repeated remark, "Josh's wrongdoing" - let that sink in for a minute, wrongdoing.  Um, that brings to mind stealing a candy bar, or perhaps some cigarellos, not molestation.

 

Alternating with "bad choices" -- which makes me think of inadvisable tattoos.

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(edited)

You are right that it is wrong to compare wearing jeans with child abuse. I didn't mean to sound that like that. I apologize to everyone for sounding insensitive.

OT, but can I just say that over the past 2.5 weeks of mad posting about a situation rife with potential disagreement, I have seen several posts like the one above, where someone graciously apologizes and the conversation moves on--and I am ALL KINDS OF IMPRESSED with that! The internet is such a swamp of nastiness, and it's genuinely refreshing to see perfect strangers able to discuss emotionally-charged topics while remaining wonderfully civil and respectful. Bravo to the mods and to the posters. Seriously.

 

ETA: I imagine the mods now laughing uproariously, remembering some of the stuff they've had to edit or remove that was, erm...not so nice. But really--great job, everyone.

Edited by SometimesBites
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(edited)

How can they tell "their side of the story" when "they were asleep and did not even know anything happened"?

Their story appears to be;  they didn't know it happened until told, so no biggie. The media unearthed the story and now they feel they are being victimized because their brother they love, is being vilified in the media for something they see as blown out of proportion. Their word choices mirror JimBob and Michelle which make this creepy.

Edited by sometimesy
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My heart was breaking for Jill everytime somebody talked about her tears.   Then I saw the preview for tonight's interview, with Jill saying "how can they do this to us?!?  We're victims!"  But if Josh did no wrong, and you truly forgive him (soft heart or soft head and all), what are you a victim of?

 

Who is "they?"  Does she mean Josh and her parents?  She should.

 

But I feel like she is talking about the evil people who released the records.  She just seems upset about possibly losing their show.  And for that, I don't feel sorry for her.

 

Shame of Derrick and Bin for allowing this interview!  Those girls should not have to do this.  These two have lost whatever respect anybody had for them.

 


It's the same old Duggar double standard.  You all spin things to suit you, then cry foul when they don't.

 

I'll be darned if I would go on TV and talk about how I forgave him.  You have little sisters and nieces.  Who is protecting them?

 

Whole thing makes me want to vomit.

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