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My guide to surviving the zombie apocalypse

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You're killing me, kikismom!

 

I have a funny feminine hygiene product (sort of ) story.  Back in the late 1980's I had arthroscopic surgery on my jaws and was driven straight to my physical therapists' office on a busy freeway, garnering many stares from other vehicles.  I had "ice packs" on each side of my face, and wondered what the fuck was so strange about that.  It wasn't until I caught sight of myself in the physical therapist's mirror did I realize said "Ice packs" looked EXACTLY like two Kotex maxipads tied around my face. 

 

So, one tip for surviving the ZA is - - - no shame.

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lol, when I saw that the thread has a new post, I immediately wondered if the news that two Ebola patients were being flown to the US for treatment had gotten anyone nervous.

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There really should be strict disease protocols.  For example at the prison, anyone who was sick should have been quarantined immediately before the disease could spread even if it seems like a minor cold.  There should be two quarantines for people who have symptoms and for people who have no symptoms but were exposed.  Also, any new people joining the community should have to be quarantined for a few days to make sure they aren't bringing in dangerous diseases. 

 

Also, scavenging parties should target all the hospitals and pharmacies to grab all medicine, supplies, and equipment they can carry and keep branching out going to further away hospitals.  They shouldn't wait for a crisis to take what's needed but should already be getting everything they can just in case.

 

In general, there needs to be more long range thinking and preparations for the future.

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Also, scavenging parties should target all the hospitals and pharmacies to grab all medicine, supplies, and equipment they can carry and keep branching out going to further away hospitals.  They shouldn't wait for a crisis to take what's needed but should already be getting everything they can just in case.

 

Yeah, I wondered why the group that went to the vet hospital was being so choosy.  I know their immediate concern was antibiotics, but would it have taken that much more effort to sweep everything they could find into their packs?  Especially Bob - he presumably wanted to hide the fact that he was an alcoholic, but he *only* grabbed the bottle of booze.  What?  Why didn't he stick some drugs, bandages, equipment, ANYTHING else in there?  That way if he'd have been caught with the alcohol, he could have mumbled that he stuck it in just in case they ran out of antiseptic or something.

 

Daryl did say that the pharmacies near the prison were already pretty empty.

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If you want to be realistic about it, being a zombie would be a short-term deal, and very quickly they would fall apart.  So you really only have to wait them out.  Really, the number of zombies in the world should have already fallen dramatically during the Walking Dead's timeline, and surivors who had relocated to rural areas would see fewer and fewer of them as the weeks passed.  The biggest threat is the fact that everyone's infected and turns into one when they die, so localized epidemics would always be breaking out until there was a cure.  The problem would no longer be trying to keep zombie hordes out, but how to deal with people dying in normal situations so another outbreak doesn't happen.

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The biggest threat is the fact that everyone's infected and turns into one when they die, so localized epidemics would always be breaking out until there was a cure.  The problem would no longer be trying to keep zombie hordes out, but how to deal with people dying in normal situations so another outbreak doesn't happen.

Some sort of system would be needed to protect people from people who die suddenly (heart attacks, aneurisms, accidents, etc), especially at night when people are asleep.  I keep thinking of that kid who died in the prison from the flu in the middle of the night.  There should be trip wire with a bell placed at the bottoms of doors at night that a human would easily know to step over but a zombie would walk right into.  That way if someone died they would hear them trying to enter or exit.   I wonder if they would be able to get the materials needed to give people heart monitors so that if someone died there'd be an alarm to let others know to be on the look out.

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OK : now I want a People's Couch family like the Zenos to watch with; and a teenage son who would encircle his home with ...  treadmills. And I find that Zombie Gym visual hilarious, so I'm twelve,  eh?

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Meaningless - but cute. :)

I've been told that I am meaningless but cute. Which made me feel like I was partway to being a Meat Loaf song.

Can't win'em all!

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I've been told that I am meaningless but cute. Which made me feel like I was partway to being a Meat Loaf song.

Can't win'em all!

Party on! :). No, I was just referring to the report - more specifically, its data sources:

1. More than half the relevant data elements (6 out of 11) are based on user-entered Facebook data - not necessarily the most reliable data source.

2. I think it could also be successfully argued the heavy FB reliance drastically underrepresents rural areas - which, coincidentally, also have a higher relative percentage of (a) firearms and (b) people skilled in their use. I know entire communities in TN which don't even have Internet access, period - the cable runs don't go out that far, and the hills inhibit satellite dish use.

3. Paintball? Laser tag? Really? Contrary to what paintballers and laser tag enthusiasts might try to convince themselves (or others), neither has any bearing on developing true marksmanship ability. :)

4. The report totally ignores what would probably be the most relevant factor, period - relative population density. If you're stuck in a major metropolitan inner city with 500K+ hungry hungry hipsters, you could one shot/one kill all day long and you're STILL gonna die - either starved out eventually, or overrun trying to escape.

This reminds me of a Mythbusters episode last year debating the best weapon in a ZA:

1. Axe (or other bladed weapon) beats shotgun (or other firearm) - sooner or later, they'll get you during the reload cycles.

2. If a big enough horde is coming at you, it didn't really matter WHAT weapon you were using - if the individual zombie-to-human ratio gets much over 15- or 20-to-1, the human will eventually get overwhelmed.

I love Mythbusters. :)

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Why TWD will never take place in Canada: Imagine all the shit they have to deal with now, plus the never ending search for fuel to keep from freezing to death for half the year. Also means lots of puffy coats = no boobage from Maggie and Abraham.

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Actually, the Michelin Man coats would mean if you were bit by walker, it wouldn't go through to your skin, (the "Shar-Pei Defense" tactic).

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I'd imagine widespread childhood training with hockey sticks and protective equipment would have a positive impact too. If your kid's a goalie on a pee-wee team, have him gear up 24/7 and he's effectively invulnerable!

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All good points indeed! Survivability up here wouldn't be half bad, even with the need to stock pile wood.

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Why TWD will never take place in Canada

 

 

I agree, re: TWD. The cast would be unrecognizable nestled inside their parkas, scarves, gloves, snow pants, toques, sorrel boots..... But in a real ZA, going north is a legitimate strategy. Winter survival skills would be essential but at least there are fewer people around going all Governor Cannibal.   

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Since I mentioned it in the "Strangers" episode thread, here is a bit of my thinking on my freshwater island plan. I am someone whose grandparents survived the concentration camps in WWII. They moved to the states with nothing after living in a refugee camp in Germany, and ended up building a cabin the the UP on 36 acres of land. There is a street up there with my family's last name. Because of them, I have known how to forage for safe mushrooms and berries, as well as fish and ice fish, ever since I was young. I am also a really good kayaker. So due to this knowledge, a pretty sustainable living situation could be created on one of the 35k islands in the great lakes. They aren't all yachting communities. Most of them aren't. Some of them are currently uninhabited wildlife preserves. You have all of the wood you need to create a shelter if you are on one of those uninhabited islands. With the work of a good group of people, it could be sustainable.

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Bugs are an excellent source of protein. I have never foraged for them, but we eat them in so many parts per million in our food every day. Carl was about to eat a can of Alpo for Pete's sake, so why not bugs or tree bark in this sort of situation?

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Everyone should have zombie gut ponchos or coats like Carol.  Also hats and ski masks with zombie guts would be easy to put together.  People would have easy to put on and take off zombie repellants without putting the guys directly on your skin.

Edited by Luckylyn
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Why TWD will never take place in Canada:

 

I'm picturing looking out at my yard and seeing a bunch of frozen zombies turned into bizarre yard ornaments in the -25 degree weather, but you'd still have to go out and chop them up so they don't re-animate when it warms up. I mean, we could pile them up and run an industrial snow blower over them, but that would make for quite a mess in the spring.

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I'm picturing looking out at my yard and seeing a bunch of frozen zombies turned into bizarre yard ornaments in the -25 degree weather, but you'd still have to go out and chop them up so they don't re-animate when it warms up. I mean, we could pile them up and run an industrial snow blower over them, but that would make for quite a mess in the spring.

That's what wood-chippers are for.

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Is this the right thread for discussing TWD's "rules" regarding the traits of zombies, the turning process, what's known about the virus, etc.? These posts seem to mostly focus on IRL survivalist tactics, but I can't find another thread devoted to it. Thanks! 

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Is this the right thread for discussing TWD's "rules" regarding the traits of zombies, the turning process, what's known about the virus, etc.? These posts seem to mostly focus on IRL survivalist tactics, but I can't find another thread devoted to it. Thanks! 

I for one would love to see it in a separate thread. I usually skip right past this thread--no offense, it just doesn't do anything for me--but I'd be all over a discussion of zombie rules!

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Is this the right thread for discussing TWD's "rules" regarding the traits of zombies, the turning process, what's known about the virus, etc.? These posts seem to mostly focus on IRL survivalist tactics, but I can't find another thread devoted to it. Thanks!

Go ahead and start one! That sounds like a great thread to have.

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I'm picturing looking out at my yard and seeing a bunch of frozen zombies turned into bizarre yard ornaments in the -25 degree weather, but you'd still have to go out and chop them up so they don't re-animate when it warms up. I mean, we could pile them up and run an industrial snow blower over them, but that would make for quite a mess in the spring.

I'd imagine that being frozen solid would do the zombies in for good unless it's magic that's reanimating them. Mind you, you'd still have the problem of corpse cleanup for health reasons once the thaw sets in.

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It would be a good idea for fun and profit to take the frozen stiff ones and encase them in Lucite. After the ZA is over, you could sell them for giant paperweights or doorstops.

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It would be a good idea for fun and profit to take the frozen stiff ones and encase them in Lucite. After the ZA is over, you could sell them for giant paperweights or doorstops.

Like scorpions--In my house? GROSS!!  Encased in Lucite with a little glitter floating around in there for effect?  Niiiice.  I'll pay 13.99 for that shit every time.

 

 

I know long-term fortification against marauding humans gets to be the most complicated part of survival at some point--gathering enough ammo, building moats or walls or whatever so that stupid fucking governors with stupid fucking tanks don't ruin your fucking farm!!!!!!!!!!! Argh.  Okay. Deep breath.  But as far as being able to keep zombies out so that you can get things set up, work on your perimeter, park buses and semis and stack bales of hay etc. to make a good solid wall (yes I've overthought this), it just isn't rocket science.  Heck a few bundles of t-posts (or some sharpened poles made from sapling for that matter) and a couple rolls of barbed wire would go a long way in creating a quick, even somewhat portable, first line of defense from zombies.  Of course a horde of them would take it down easily--I'm just saying that people like Carol shouldn't have to venture out to clear out pump hoses unprotected when it's easy enough to erect fences--even layers of fences--that would minimize the risk.

 

We're sheltering in place here in the Rocky Mountain West. It'll be a trick to get through the winters, but we do have 4 horses if worse comes to worst (sorry, guys, love ya, mean it.) and I know how to build a smoke house :)  There's a creek down the road that runs all winter, with fish in it. Chickens shouldn't be too hard to come by, nor rabbits, goats, and game birds.  It'll be the human predators that will give us much more

trouble than feeding ourselves, not that general survival is easy.

Edited by LilySilver
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LadySilver - I'm in the Rocky Mountain West, too! I'll be waving a flag that says TAINTED MEAT. Please let me in. I'll help out any way I can and am not above weilding a red-handled machete.

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Seeing as how the PTV posting community have probably better plans than Eugene’s on getting humanity through the ZA, I would like to perhaps recommend some back to basics (staying alive for the first few days) before we all go off to build communities and grow veggies. Apart from the obvious – weapons, food and the like – here are two defensive suggestions before you leave your home.

 

1. Forearm guards/bracers. Make ‘em, wear ‘em. At all times when outside (in addition to gloves). I am amazed that in virtually all walker/zombie shows people insist on wandering around in tank tops or open sleeve shirts.  (Tip: In a real ZA don’t do what they do - the zombies in those shows are only extras.)  I don’t care how hot it is, protect your forearms.  Depriving yourself the use of your forearms as an emergency shield and weapon will seriously gimp your walker fighting prowess. Regardless of whether you have had any form of martial arts/defensive training “wax on, wax off!” or not, your forearm by pure instinct alone is still going to be your first and most likely only line of defense. Under normal circumstances this works fine; if a guard dog leaps up to bite you, you will instinctively throw your forearm up in defense; better they get a chunk of your arm than your face or torso. When it comes to walkers however, this gut instinct (which you probably cannot prevent even if you tried) is going to get you killed as a bite on your arm is as fatal as anywhere else, so protect it.

 

How to: The movie World War Z was the first and only time I ever saw anyone take this precaution when Brad Pitt rolled up and duct taped a table magazine around his forearm before going outside (the movie was terrible compared to the book btw).  That’ll work as a stop gap, but we can do better.  For those of you who are neither DIY freaks with welding tools and a lot of spare tin cans nor fetish enthusiasts with plenty of studded leather lying around the house, I suggest you rummage in your closet for a pair of jeans and cut off the ends.  Glue/tape coins, house keys etc. densely to a square of cardboard and slide it inside the cutoff jeans, wrap it around your forearm and tie/duct tape it in place. For most of us, this will mean we have two layers of jeans with a tube of coins in between per arm as protection. For those of you old enough to have a pair of jeans from the 70s however, I congratulate you on achieving eight layers from a single jean bottom. Coins are teeth-breakers, any walker(s) that get a solid bite of your arm are going to become one of those Michonne-style toothless wonders in short order.

 

Additionally, how many times have we seen shoving matches at doors that can only be resolved when some intrepid soul reaches his/her arm out through the crack to push away walkers who have so inconsiderately stuck appendages inside preventing the door from closing? You never know when just such a situation will arise I say, and wearing bracers will make that endeavor a significantly less dangerous task.  Besides, IRL the sudden relief of force from one side is more than likely going to result in your erstwhile comrades slamming the door on your arm (leaving it dangling out there for a few seconds as a tasty morsel for the horde to focus on before you can pull it back). Hopefully the protection will do double duty as enough of a pain cushion from the slamming door that you will not feel obliged to hop around in pain cussing them all out.

 

2. Noisemakers.  I actually picked this up from a video game called State of Decay (really good game btw).  Now I appreciate that few of us are going to have firecrackers conveniently lying around in our houses, but anything that can make noise on demand will do; alarm clocks, kitchen/egg timers, wind-up or pull toys “Hello, my name is Barbie!” [loud] musical greeting cards etc. Have a couple on your person at all times for emergencies.

 

How to: In a field with walkers to left of you, walkers to the right of you and walkers in front and behind? Don’t charge to your death like the light brigade at Balaclava, throw a noise maker at a tangent to where you want to head and run! Trapped in a house/building surrounded by walkers? Head up to a second story window (prefer not to open a ground floor window if we can help it), push Barney’s belly and hurl him out. Now while all the walkers are gathering around a purple dinosaur gustily singing “Walking in the rain with my mouth open wide, a-a-ah-a-a- a-ah” figuring out whether it is edible or not, just high-tail it out the back.

 

Thus hopefully better equipped to survive the trip, feel free to head out to take over your island/mall/Disneyland/gas fracking station as is your want.  See you there!

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2. Noisemakers.  I actually picked this up from a video game called State of Decay (really good game btw).  Now I appreciate that few of us are going to have firecrackers conveniently lying around in our houses, but anything that can make noise on demand will do; alarm clocks, kitchen/egg timers, wind-up or pull toys “Hello, my name is Barbie!” [loud] musical greeting cards etc. Have a couple on your person at all times for emergencies.

Finally, a good use for this knick-knack which was the bane of my existence at the office in the late 90s:

mgVFoGiUpr47_Wdx-oRj3HA.jpg

Not only will chucking it into crowds of zombies save my life, it'll also be theraputic!

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1.)   Glue/tape coins, house keys etc. densely to a square of cardboard and slide it inside the cutoff jeans, wrap it around your forearm and tie/duct tape it in place. For most of us, this will mean we have two layers of jeans with a tube of coins in between per arm as protection.

 

2.)  Now I appreciate that few of us are going to have firecrackers conveniently lying around in our houses

 

1.)  I still plan on getting one of the full-body coveralls they wear at the auto-paint shop--with the hood and the booties and the mouth/nose  mask---and a scuba mask to see through. Then I will cover the overalls in Bit O'Honeys, Sugar Daddys, and Charleston Chews. If you think coins are teeth-breakers you ain't seen nothing yet. Plus:

  1. I won't have to glue them--try not having them stick to your clothes!
  2. I'll smell good when no one else does.
  3. If the foraging and scavenging gets scarce, I'll always have a nice long-lasting snack.

 

2.)  http://grathio.com/2012/06/project-match-rockets/

Edited by kikismom
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I realized I'd forgotten to change my furnace's filter the other day when I turned on the heat and my house instantly started smelling like TAINTED MEAT. This got me to thinking...

I don't think furnace filters would be a big item to hoard after a ZA so there should be lots of them left to scavange. So, if you found a reasonably safe place to live but it had some windows, you could get a bunch of furnace filters, cover them in zombie goo and place them over the windows. You could then rig up some solar powered fans (even small ones would do) and face them to blast the zombie goo smell outward thusly making your entire abode smell like walker guts. Might keep the walkers and any humans away.

Also, you could wear them with some shoulder straps so one's on your back and one's on your front when you went out. And carry one with an armband strapped to your arm as a sheild. Sort of a light weight walker guts suit of armor.

I think my plan needs more thought for a really good implementation, but it's a start.

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I realized I'd forgotten to change my furnace's filter the other day when I turned on the heat and my house instantly started smelling like TAINTED MEAT. This got me to thinking...

Oh my goodness. I just read this and actually laughed out loud all alone in my house for a good minute. I quoted it, reread it, and started over. Thank you for that. It's the capitals that get me I think. And the accuracy of the statement (our heat came on last weekend).

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You're welcome. I was sitting there sniffing and thought, "What is that god awful smell? What does it even smell like? Cat crap?" Then I screamed TAINTED MEAT and started laughing like a fiend. My cat ran from the room.

We're obviously both easily amused. ;-)

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I've always thought that a really good slingshot, like the kind that have a brace over your wrist, and some ball bearings would be great for a medium range stand off weapon, especially from the 2nd floor of a house. It's powerful enough to go through a rotted skull and quiet. If you happen to live in the Midwest, you can find loads of iron ore pellets along railroad tracks and they would work just as well. You could sit in a house and pick off the walkers in the front yard for as long as your supplies hold out.

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Is this the right thread for discussing TWD's "rules" regarding the traits of zombies, the turning process, what's known about the virus, etc.? These posts seem to mostly focus on IRL survivalist tactics, but I can't find another thread devoted to it. Thanks! 

 

I just created one a few days ago - all about the Walkers/Zombies, if you are interested.

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1.)  I still plan on getting one of the full-body coveralls they wear at the auto-paint shop--with the hood and the booties and the mouth/nose  mask---and a scuba mask to see through. Then I will cover the overalls in Bit O'Honeys, Sugar Daddys, and Charleston Chews. If you think coins are teeth-breakers you ain't seen nothing yet. Plus:

  1. I won't have to glue them--try not having them stick to your clothes!
  2. I'll smell good when no one else does.
  3. If the foraging and scavenging gets scarce, I'll always have a nice long-lasting snack.

 

2.)  http://grathio.com/2012/06/project-match-rockets/

 

I fully applaud any and all attempts to imitate a Frosted Mini-Wheat.

 

I've always thought that a really good slingshot, like the kind that have a brace over your wrist, and some ball bearings would be great for a medium range stand off weapon, especially from the 2nd floor of a house. It's powerful enough to go through a rotted skull and quiet. If you happen to live in the Midwest, you can find loads of iron ore pellets along railroad tracks and they would work just as well. You could sit in a house and pick off the walkers in the front yard for as long as your supplies hold out.

 

Oh, they're totally functional, and for hunting as well. 

Before we were old enough to learn how to shoot, my cousins and I used to hunt squirrels with them.

They'll do a number on an old car's windshield too, BTW.  Just so you know.  ;>

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I'd just head up into the mountains with a good supply of food and water, enough to last me 6-8 weeks. I'm going on the premise that a real zombie apocalypse would be over after a few weeks or maybe a couple of months because a body will deteriorate and crumble very quickly without any blood flow, so the zombies aren't going to be walking around for very long. Realistically, most of the zombie hordes in Walking Dead should already have dissipated by the middle of season 3, being replaced by fewer and fewer numbers with the declining human population.

Edited by Dobian

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I'd just head up into the mountains with a good supply of food and water, enough to last me 6-8 weeks. I'm going on the premise that a real zombie apocalypse would be over after a few weeks or maybe a couple of months because a body will deteriorate and crumble very quickly without any blood flow, so the zombies aren't going to be walking around for very long. Realistically, most of the zombie hordes in Walking Dead should already have dissipated by the middle of season 3, being replaced by fewer and fewer numbers with the declining human population.

 

I understand what you're shooting for here, but I think you're basing your plans on a fallacy - i.e., that remoteness from civilization will provide a buffer from the effects.  That would probably be true in the very initial stages, but not later on, for one simple reason - zombies don't think.

 

Let's say you go hole up in a cabin in the highest, most remote peaks of the Rockies.  The remoteness would certainly be excellent protection from the initial swell of shamblers coming out of any major city, as well as any marauding still-humans looking for supplies to pillage. 

Get a little further on down the timeline, though.  If the walkers start out in the city, they're going to stay there until their food supply is gone - and then they'll leave.  Now, they're not going to say, "well, Denver is shot to shit - bet there's still lots of cornfed honeys in Kansas, though."  They're not going to be leaving a city with a specific destination in mind.  They're just going to start walking in probably a relatively straight line - barring impediments, jostling from other walkers, and path divergences toward the next tasty representative of the Meat Group.  Their numbers will be great enough you'll see a fairly evenly-spread diaspora of zombies radiating out from every major population center.  And they won't get tired, or think "wow, that mountain looks really steep - guess I better go around" - they're just going to keep walking, walking, walking.  Because that's what walkers do.

 

My point (and I do have one) being this: if you're still on the contiguous land mass of North America, no matter WHERE you are, eventually a crowd of them is going to wander up to your front doorstep for lunch.  And they're gonna be downright persistent about it.  So remoteness is only a temporary stopgap.

 

Me? I'm thinking missile silo.  Well-barricaded, and redundant infrastructure.  :)

Edited by Nashville
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