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On 4/24/2021 at 12:19 PM, Blergh said:

OK, on a completely unrelated note, the other day I went to a party with a cake that had a photograph of the honoree reproduced in the frosting. No, it wasn't a painting of the honoree done in frosting but an actual photograph flawlessly reproduced in the frosting that was completely edible!  

Buttercream is people!

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AGH! My freezer door was open all night! Some stuff in the back was OK, some will have to be cooked this weekend, and I didn't check the ice cream because it would break my heart if it was all melted.  I can't face it right now.

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1 hour ago, ABay said:

AGH! My freezer door was open all night! Some stuff in the back was OK, some will have to be cooked this weekend, and I didn't check the ice cream because it would break my heart if it was all melted.  I can't face it right now.

Similar thing happened to me, but because it was only held open by a crack (by overstuffing and not ensuring it was sealed - my bad), the freezer reacted by going into hyper mode, creating several inches of frost on everything.  It has righted itself to a great degree, but I'm going to have to empty and manually remove some ice build-up.  Thankfully it was the auxilliary garage freezer, enabling me to put it out of sight and mind until I'm ready to deal with it, lol.

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The above posts are why I resisted getting a freezer for years.  Finally broke down and got one last April and I don't know how we managed without it!  But now I'm going to be sure and check that it's closed a lot more often.  My sympathies guys!

In other news - normally I'd share this in the Covid thread, but as it's closed I guess this is ok to share here - my husband works in a hospital and we went for over a year without issue.  Until yesterday.  He got a call from Occupational Health to let him know he's been in contact with someone who has been in direct contact with a Covid positive person.  So fun.  It's not direct contact - yet - if this person never develops anything he should be fine but it means we have a stressful week or two now waiting to hear, and waiting for symptoms.  I am so suggestible that most of yesterday I had a headache and sore throat.  Which are gone now of course.

Edited by WinnieWinkle
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I hope it's okay for me to ask in this thread!

I have a friend who's expecting a baby. We're not very close, but she is a sweet girl, just very bold. If she wants something, she gets it. I asked her if she's going to have a baby shower. I'm now vaccinated so I feel comfortable attending and wanted to get her a gift. She said she wasn't sure about the shower because she has no family of her own here. She thinks throwing the party herself is tacky. She said her mother in law mentioned doing something for her awhile back but isn't reliable. I mentioned helping out, but she sort of asked if I would throw the shower for her. It took me a bit by surprise. I said I'd ask a friend who's thrown one for advice and get back with her. I have never thrown a baby shower myself, so it seemed like a good excuse to give me time to think about it. My friend said they're a lot of work, very expensive, and not typically done by a casual friend. 

I'm not sure what to say to my friend. I do care about her and feel bad she has no family or longtime friends in the state, but she does have her in-laws and other friends. To be truthful I feel like one of them should throw the shower for her. It's just so awkward discussing this. A part of me is a people pleaser, but the other part of me says, don't get used. I asked a family member what to say, and she said to just not say anything, that my friend shouldn't have asked in the first place. I like to keep my word though, so I feel like I have to say something. It's just so awkward! 

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A shower doesn’t have to be a lot of work or very expensive.  It can be as simple as a few people, some cupcakes, and a couple of baby-related party games.  I went to one once where guests were each given a length of string and were supposed to cut the string to a length that equalled the circumference of the pregnant belly.  Prizes were just silly trinkets from the dollar store.

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1.  You don't throw parties for yourself.

2.  You don't ask others to throw a party for you.

If no one offers to throw a baby shower, oh well.   I hate baby (and other) showers. If I am close enough to you that I want to give a gift to celebrate whatever the event may be, I will see that the gift gets to you.  

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To be a bit blunt you kinda opened the door to be asked in a roundabout way when you asked if she was having a shower. It also could have come across as invitation fishing. 

What is done is done. Personally I'd tell her I'm not comfortable hosting an event during COVID times and leave it alone. 

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6 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Personally I'd tell her I'm not comfortable hosting an event during COVID times and leave it alone. 

That was my thinking as well.  My daughter has had several friends get married and several others have babies over the last year and all related showers have been via Zoom.  It's certainly different - and going to be memorable eventually! - but no one is having get togethers yet, and I would think most especially not for someone who is pregnant.  I'd be extra stressed about potentially passing along Covid to a pregnant person.  

Edited by WinnieWinkle
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8 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I hope it's okay for me to ask in this thread!

I have a friend who's expecting a baby. We're not very close, but she is a sweet girl, just very bold. If she wants something, she gets it. I asked her if she's going to have a baby shower. I'm now vaccinated so I feel comfortable attending and wanted to get her a gift. She said she wasn't sure about the shower because she has no family of her own here. She thinks throwing the party herself is tacky. She said her mother in law mentioned doing something for her awhile back but isn't reliable. I mentioned helping out, but she sort of asked if I would throw the shower for her. It took me a bit by surprise. I said I'd ask a friend who's thrown one for advice and get back with her. I have never thrown a baby shower myself, so it seemed like a good excuse to give me time to think about it. My friend said they're a lot of work, very expensive, and not typically done by a casual friend. 

I'm not sure what to say to my friend. I do care about her and feel bad she has no family or longtime friends in the state, but she does have her in-laws and other friends. To be truthful I feel like one of them should throw the shower for her. It's just so awkward discussing this. A part of me is a people pleaser, but the other part of me says, don't get used. I asked a family member what to say, and she said to just not say anything, that my friend shouldn't have asked in the first place. I like to keep my word though, so I feel like I have to say something. It's just so awkward! 

Explain to her that you just couldn't take it on right now (don't give details, not her business), then perhaps suggest that she completes a registry on BabyList.com.  If you feel compelled to assist further, you could volunteer to send postcards to a list of family/friends that she provides, explaining that a pandemic baby shower didn't seem prudent, but friends are encouraged to send gifts directly.  If you're not up for that, suggest that she recruit a closer friend or family member to do same.

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4 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

To be a bit blunt you kinda opened the door to be asked in a roundabout way when you asked if she was having a shower. It also could have come across as invitation fishing. 

What is done is done. Personally I'd tell her I'm not comfortable hosting an event during COVID times and leave it alone. 

Haha, lesson learned! I won't be dumb in the future. In my defense, awhile ago she mentioned a party at some point herself. I'm not someone who even likes going to parties for the sake of it so it never dawned on me asking could look like invitation fishing. Good to know! I do like giving gifts to all my friends, whether we're very close or not. 

2 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Explain to her that you just couldn't take it on right now (don't give details, not her business), then perhaps suggest that she completes a registry on BabyList.com.  If you feel compelled to assist further, you could volunteer to send postcards to a list of family/friends that she provides, explaining that a pandemic baby shower didn't seem prudent, but friends are encouraged to send gifts directly.  If you're not up for that, suggest that she recruit a closer friend or family member to do same.

I like the pandemic excuse. She knows I'm not very busy at the moment, but she also knows it's because of how seriously I'm taking covid. TBT, I feel safe being vaccinated, but I have high risk people in my life, including someone who is scared of the vaccine. 

Thanks everyone for the feedback! You guys are the best. ❤️

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If someone doesn't want to do something just tell the person that is asking that you don't want to do it.  Even in the hypersensitive era we live in, it really shouldn't be that difficult to just say "no".  Making up an excuse is more disrespectful than being totally honest with the person.

Edited by icemiser69
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7 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

If someone doesn't want to do something just tell the person that is asking that you don't want to do it.  Even in the hypersensitive era we live in, it really shouldn't be that difficult to just say "no".  Making up an excuse is more disrespectful than being totally honest with the person.

“No” is a complete sentence.

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"I wish I could but I don't want to."  Phoebe Buffay

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@RealHousewife, if you do want to do something for your friend, maybe a drive by shower would be an option. I've seen a couple of people do those- cars drive by and drop off a gift, wave to the mom-to-be, and maybe get a cupcake handed to them through the car window. But I also agree with everyone above that "no" is a complete sentence and no justification is required because she was rude to ask you in the first place. 

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Pandemically speaking - is anyone else back to stress eating?  I mean assuming you ever were, or if you were you stopped!  I was really bad for this when everything hit the fan last March but had gotten better, until this most recent lockdown.  Now I'm reaching for the chocolate and the chips like there's no tomorrow.  Why can't stress eating for me involve fruit and salad?

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3 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Pandemically speaking - is anyone else back to stress eating?  I mean assuming you ever were, or if you were you stopped!  I was really bad for this when everything hit the fan last March but had gotten better, until this most recent lockdown.  Now I'm reaching for the chocolate and the chips like there's no tomorrow.  Why can't stress eating for me involve fruit and salad?

I have definitely be back to stress eating and emotional eating. I was not doing good with this last summer, got better, but it has gotten bad again.

Humans are social creatures and human touch is incredibly important. We were not designed to be physically isolated in general, but more than a year....

I am fully vaccinated and last night I hugged a friend for the longest time. First person I had hugged since last March. 

When lock down happened last year, I wasn’t working but was starting to lot for a new project. I knew I wouldn’t find work during a pandemic (and we can live off one income) so I decided I was going to do a deep cleaning of the house. Long story short, day three I couldn’t use my right hand, especially my thumb. Ended up having wrist surgery in June, so I was stuck at home for months where I couldn’t even do anything. That was awful.

I had lumbar spine fusion at the beginning of March. They fused all 5 of my lumbar vertebrae and my coccyx- so it is a long recovery.

 

 


 


 

 

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13 hours ago, Jenniferbug said:

@RealHousewife, if you do want to do something for your friend, maybe a drive by shower would be an option. I've seen a couple of people do those- cars drive by and drop off a gift, wave to the mom-to-be, and maybe get a cupcake handed to them through the car window. But I also agree with everyone above that "no" is a complete sentence and no justification is required because she was rude to ask you in the first place. 

I really like this idea. I will forever have trouble in situations like these! I'm sorry I'm not good at just saying no. Seems so harsh! Haha

As for stress eating, I'm still eating more than I did pre-pandemic, but I'm not as bad as I was height of pandemic. 

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On 5/3/2021 at 12:17 AM, RealHousewife said:

I'm sorry I'm not good at just saying no. Seems so harsh! Haha

Learning how to say no is an art. The first thing you should learn do to is stop apologizing for things that don't need an apology, like your feelings.  A friend of mine kept asking me why I keep apologizing for everything.

True, "no" is a complete sentence but "I'm sorry, I'm not in a position to host a shower" conveys the same thing and closes the door to any sort of come back. What can they say without looking like a jerk?

Edited by theredhead77 · Reason: Clarity
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7 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Learning how to say no is an art. The first thing you should learn do to is stop apologizing for things that don't need an apology, like your feelings.  A friend of mine kept asking me why I keep apologizing for everything.

True, "no" is a complete sentence but "I'm sorry, I'm not in a position to host a shower" conveys the same thing and closes the door to any sort of come back. What can they say without looking like a jerk?

True! Thanks THEREDHEAD. ♥️

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My niece took my Dad to the ER last night because of extreme pain he was experiencing in his hip.  He's still there.  They're running all sorts of tests and they aren't letting him go until all the results are in.  Dad, being Dad just texted me "at least I'm getting a good check-up".  Anyone else would be angry about being in an ER this long.  Sadly I do not have this glass half full approach to life!

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My yard could do with a mowing, but it's not too bad yet.  Mainly a little straggly.  The big problem was that I have some tall fleshy-like weeds that have popped up and makes the yard look worse than it really is.  So, I decided to go outside in the front yard and spending an hour or so pulling them up.  For one thing, it will mean I can put off mowing until at least the weekend if not later.  And, by pulling them up by the roots (easy to do, because the ground is still soft from the last rain) they won't keep coming back up all summer.  Of course, as soon as I went out there, the two little kids from next door came over  to 'help'.  They actually did help me pull a lot of them before they got distracted and started looking for bugs, dandelions, etc.  I had to laugh, though. I was using a stepstool to sit on so that I didn't have to sit on the ground and was just bending over to pull the weeds (moving the stool with me as I needed to move on).  The little boy asked me why I was sitting on the stool.  Before I could answer that it made my knees feel better to sit on the stool instead of the ground, his older sister (maybe 6 or 7 years old) scoffed and said 'because she's old, silly!'.  Then they asked me how old I was and I didn't lie, but told them the truth (over 60).  They stood in awed silence for a couple of minutes before they scampered off to check out one of my flower beds. 

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On 5/5/2021 at 11:50 AM, WinnieWinkle said:

My niece took my Dad to the ER last night because of extreme pain he was experiencing in his hip.  He's still there.  They're running all sorts of tests and they aren't letting him go until all the results are in.  Dad, being Dad just texted me "at least I'm getting a good check-up".  Anyone else would be angry about being in an ER this long.  Sadly I do not have this glass half full approach to life!

I hope your Dad is feeling better!  Something similar happened with my mom (she’s 89) and it turned out to be arthritis.

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16 minutes ago, Kelly said:

I hope your Dad is feeling better!  Something similar happened with my mom (she’s 89) and it turned out to be arthritis.

They think it is lumbar stenosis.  In a younger person apparently they could suggest an operation but given my Dad's age and health condition the best recourse is pain management and physiotherapy (hopefully our lockdown ends soon and this can be scheduled).  In a good news - bad news way Dad finally realises that he can't live alone anymore.  My Mother is in an assisted living situation in a retirement residence and he has really resisted the idea of moving there himself but this has shaken him up and he is making plans to sell the condo and move there as well.

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14 hours ago, BooksRule said:

My yard could do with a mowing, but it's not too bad yet.  Mainly a little straggly.  The big problem was that I have some tall fleshy-like weeds that have popped up and makes the yard look worse than it really is.  

You're freaking me out right now, BooksRule.  What are "fleshy-like weeds"?

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9 hours ago, Leeds said:

You're freaking me out right now, BooksRule.  What are "fleshy-like weeds"?

Ha!  I mean weeds that have a thick, kind of rubbery stalks and leaves.  I think the ones I was pulling up are 'plantain weeds'.

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28 minutes ago, BooksRule said:

Ha!  I mean weeds that have a thick, kind of rubbery stalks and leaves.  I think the ones I was pulling up are 'plantain weeds'.

I read this as "plantin' weeds" and was so confused as to why you'd replant the weeds. I have an eye exam on Monday and I'm getting contacts. I know I should wear my glasses when I'm not at work but I just don't wanna.

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On 5/4/2021 at 3:59 PM, theredhead77 said:

Learning how to say no is an art. The first thing you should learn do to is stop apologizing for things that don't need an apology, like your feelings.  A friend of mine kept asking me why I keep apologizing for everything.

In my own experience, I developed the skill very quickly because I got to do it to friends I was 100% sure would still be my friends. (Story to come...)  And when I got used to saying no to them, it didn't seem so bad to do so whenever I really didn't want to do something.  

My friends of almost 35 years now were texting each other earlier this week.  The catalyst for the conversation was the news that Tawny Kitaen died. We were all in college in the late eighties, which was the height of the hair band era on MTV.  The Whitesnake video with her on top of the car was a big favorite of all 20 year old boys at the time.  So her passing was noteworthy as a memory of our time together in school.

The text conversation then referenced another shared memory, this time of a particularly crazy weekend when one of these guys decided to climb out of the DRIVER'S seat and onto the roof of his car.  Right before he did that, he announced to the person riding shotgun, "Gib, grab the wheel. I'm going up." And then he did.  This, by the way, happened a couple years after we graduated.  Many other interesting events unfolded after that move. It's quite the story. 

Then in the text conversation, my friend Matt sends this exchange that occurred before that weekend:

"Hey JTMacc99 we are going to Connecticut this weekend."  JTMacc99: "Who is going?" "Matt, Dre, Richie and Gib"  JTMacc99: "I'm out."

Because I even though I was 23 years old, I had no problem saying no to a situation that didn't sound like something I wanted to do.  I didn't care that they gave me a hard time for not going.  And on the following Tuesday when they called me and told me all the things I "missed", they couldn't stop laughing at me saying no to them, and how 100% I was right to do so.  So much so, that 29 years later, they're still brining it up in random text conversations.

So yeah, if you don't think a situation sounds like a good idea to you, I highly recommend saying no and don't worry about it for another second.

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18 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

Tawny Kitaen died

Wait. What?! :( 

18 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

So yeah, if you don't think a situation sounds like a good idea to you, I highly recommend saying no and don't worry about it for another second.

One of my closest friends got married back in 2017 and she invited me to her bachelorette party. I already knew what she had planned (day drinking and lots of night clubbing). While I'm down for the day drinking I am out for the night clubbing. I knew she wouldn't care if I stayed at the AirB&B and went to bed when they went to party at night but I also knew her friends would make it a thing so I noped right out of that invite.

After hearing what a shitshow it was, I'm so glad I did. She had a blast but I would have been miserable.

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I hate screwing up.  I mailed a parcel to my son and his family last week because this pandemic is NEVER going to end and I had birthday stuff and Easter presents etc to give them and figured they may as well have them now.  Anyway they never got the package and I realized today it's because I wrote the wrong house number down.  Sigh.  He's going to check with the neighbour to see if they got it and are honest people who either have hung onto the box thinking a neighbour might check or else they returned it to the post office.  Dammit.

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Update:  My son went over and the neighbour had the package and had kept it by their front door - they said they assumed someone would come for it and if not they were going to take it back to the post office.  After what has been a crappy week dealing with some crappy people, both in my real life and in the news,  I now love people again.

Edited by WinnieWinkle
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Today I dragged myself (not kicking and screaming, but reluctantly) into the modern era.  I got a smart phone.  I know there are many benefits, but actually, until the lockdown happened last year with the pandemic, I was okay with my old clunker that I used only for emergencies. At work I have a phone.  At home I have a phone. Most other places I'm near others who have phones if something happens.  I mainly charged it up when I took a trip somewhere in my car where I might be stuck if I broke down.  But, being more isolated from people has shown me that I really need to at least have the capability to text someone from my car.  I think I made everyone's day at the phone store, though.  My phone was so old (pre-flip phone--that's how old) that the guy helping me took a picture of it and had to take the phone around to show to everyone else.  And, although technically this was supposed to be a trade-in deal, he said that he had no intention of taking my phone and I could keep it for sentimental reasons.  I might put it in a shadowbox and hang it on my office wall.  I'm a complete newbie at smart phones, but I've learned how to turn it on and off, play with the ringtones, and send/receive a text.  Small steps. 

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I'm going to have to replace my flip phone, because AT&T is shutting down its 3G network, but I haven't yet had the heart to find out whether I can replace it with another flip phone that will work on the whateverG or if they're only offering smartphones now.  I hardly ever use my cell phone (and the few times I do it's generally to call rather than text), so I don't need a smartphone and thus don't want a smartphone, and will be rather irritated if I wind up with one not by choice.

My dad is in the same boat (my parents and I are still on a family plan from way back), so I'm sure he'll just go without a cell phone altogether if smartphones are the only option, since my mom has a smartphone and thus they'll have a phone when they're out in the motorhome (the only place his is ever used).

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I'm kind of easing into the technology (although I did skip the flip-phone stage).  Mine is a new phone, but it isn't the fanciest and wasn't expensive at all.  I told them I wanted to be able to sent/receive calls, send/receive texts, maybe occasionally take a photo, check my e-mail, maybe look up something on a site now and then and that's about all.  I don't do gaming and I won't be streaming any TV shows or movies. I might end up drinking the Kool-Aid, but right now I have no desire to have the phone by my side all of the time and constantly use it to call/text people. It's not even turned on right now and it's on the kitchen table in another part of the house. 

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11 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I'm going to have to replace my flip phone, because AT&T is shutting down its 3G network, but I haven't yet had the heart to find out whether I can replace it with another flip phone that will work on the whateverG or if they're only offering smartphones now.  I hardly ever use my cell phone (and the few times I do it's generally to call rather than text), so I don't need a smartphone and thus don't want a smartphone, and will be rather irritated if I wind up with one not by choice.

My dad is in the same boat (my parents and I are still on a family plan from way back), so I'm sure he'll just go without a cell phone altogether if smartphones are the only option, since my mom has a smartphone and thus they'll have a phone when they're out in the motorhome (the only place his is ever used).

Even though I would recommend considering a basic smart phone, so as to have the ability to use apps (I happen to believe that apps are taking over the world as we know it), etc., there are still flip phones available.  

consumercellular

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I would probably still have a flip phone if they didn’t keep eventually breaking. I didn’t think I was particularly hard on stuff but you guys have got me beat by years!  

But it did work out well for me - when it was time to replace my last flip phone, I was dealing with taking care of my mother in her last years, several hours away and with no internet service at her house. So it was a huge help to have a smartphone when I went to visit, to work out all the stuff that the internet can really help with. 

So here’s hoping that the kickers and screamers will find some upside to their new phones. 
 

Oh and another benefit - my gps was in the process of biting the dust, so the maps app on the new smartphone let me replace that without having to buy yet another device. 

Edited by SoMuchTV
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Oh, I know they exist, I mean if I can use one with our AT&T plan.  I don't want to mess with a new provider after all this time.

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Once I got a smartphone quite a few years ago, I was hooked. I'm always checking Facebook, reading the Washington Post (& having a great time venting in the comments sections), checking & sending emails, etc. The only game that I play is plain ol' Solitaire. My smartphone is a Motorola (tried an Apple but those phone are too high tech for me). I'd rather be on my smartphone than my laptop. 

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And I would much rather be on my (still fairly brand new) laptop than stare at a tiny smart phone screen. My techno boy son is visiting at the beginning of July and is already lobbying me to switch from my flip phone (which works just fine - I can text and I can call people and that is pretty much all I want a phone to do) to a smart phone because of the g-whatever issue and because I can't take pictures with my phone which he considers an enormous problem.

I won't have anything to do with anything Apple so he is shopping for something not too expensive that doesn't have too many political or ecological ramifications, knowing that if he is going to convince me by July the case for a new phone will have to be really strong.

"We'll see." (my current response :)

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I also prefer my laptop over the phone or even the tablet, but it's just not mobile enough for all circumstances.  Funny, considering that was the impetus of laptops - being mobile.

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My brother decided our late-70s mother should buy an iPhone and an iMac.  So he delivered them to her house and unboxed them. And left.  She could barely work a PC and flip phone. Guess who she asks for technical help?   Hint - it's not the one who lives 20 minutes away, and thought this was a good idea.   

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30 minutes ago, Quof said:

My brother decided our late-70s mother should buy an iPhone and an iMac.  So he delivered them to her house and unboxed them. And left.  She could barely work a PC and flip phone. Guess who she asks for technical help?   Hint - it's not the one who lives 20 minutes away, and thought this was a good idea.   

Your brother and my sister should be locked in a small room with their/our respective parents and their devices for a minimum of a month.

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Well, I've had my new phone for several days now, and I've gotten better at texting. It's interesting that my fat fingers made so many mistakes when I started, but the tip I read online that typing fast actually works better than trying to be deliberate and slow.  And I find that having the 'suggested' words that pop up at the top of the keypad helps a lot.

I haven't made/received any calls except for the one 'test' call that I made to my office phone last night (I didn't want to call a real person, in case I was too much of a fumbling doofus. :) )

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On 5/15/2021 at 7:41 PM, Quof said:

My brother decided our late-70s mother should buy an iPhone and an iMac.  So he delivered them to her house and unboxed them. And left.  She could barely work a PC and flip phone. Guess who she asks for technical help?   Hint - it's not the one who lives 20 minutes away, and thought this was a good idea.   

My early 70s Mother bought an iMac.  Every tax season when we share use her tubo tax, her daughter can be heard to yell - "Mom! How do you scroll on this stupid machine?"

 

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On 5/18/2021 at 6:52 PM, ParadoxLost said:

My early 70s Mother bought an iMac.  Every tax season when we share use her tubo tax, her daughter can be heard to yell - "Mom! How do you scroll on this stupid machine?"

 

LOL Early 70's here too. My printer died early 2020. Always  did tax records on internet and printed out...this year input everything, and (gasp)  hand wrote  it out for tax preparer...amazingly it all worked  out OK.  Shocking! Yet it could work for  many years to come...

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